


My Fault

by Keelynoelle



Category: Undertale
Genre: A story only about recovery, Abuse, Angst, Bullying, Child Abuse, Dad Grillby, Emotional Abuse, Experiments, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injections, Medical Abuse, Mental Disorder, Minor Character Death, More tags to be added, PTSD, Past Child Abuse, Physicological Abuse, Self Harm, Shit gets real bro, Suicide Attempt, Suicide mention, Therapy, Violence, baby bones au, experimental abuse, night terror, not canon, pregame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:03:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 51
Words: 348,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keelynoelle/pseuds/Keelynoelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans took his brother's hand and ran. They were never going back, never looking back. They could only go on forward, away, far away. Away from the tests, from the labs, and from Him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alleyway and Help

**Author's Note:**

> Available in Russian: https://ficbook.net/readfic/5042525

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combination of chapters 1 and 2.

“Sans, why can't we sleep here tonight? It is warm,” Papyrus whined as Sans began to wrap the red scarf he had found in the trash around Papyrus' neck.

“Because, Pap, we can't.” Is all Sans said and Papyrus pouted for a bit, before looking at his brother's exhausted face and nodding. Sans zipped up his jacket, looking over Papyrus one last time before grabbing his hand and slowly leading him out of the alleyway.

Perhaps later they could return to this alley, in the winter when the warmth from the vent would be needed to keep Papyrus warm, but for now, they needed to move. Sans noticed someone lingering for too long by the entrance of the alley last night and cursed himself for allowing Papyrus to persuade him into staying three nights. Sans hated spending two nights in the same place, let alone three. It was a dumb move, and now someone could have spotted them. It didn't help that the entire town was infested with monsters during the day. Sans tried his best to stay out of sight, but he knew some caught a glance of them before the brothers would vanish.

Sans poked his head out of the pathway and looked down the dark streets. They needed to get a block away at least, but Sans knew that the residential area ahead had no nice place to sleep and had no good trash to look through. He didn't want to risk going back though. Going back to some place three times already could arouse suspicion. Maybe if it was just him, he could make it unseen, but he had Papyrus with him, and the small skeleton wasn't exactly a master of stealth when it came to picking through trash. Maybe if Sans found a safe place to sleep, someplace the elder brother knew he could leave his younger sibling while he looked around for more locations to rest at.

Sans felt his hand slowly being tugged on as Papyrus pointed, leaning in the direction his hand was pointing.

“Sans! Sans!” Papyrus called and Sans glanced up at the alleyway across the street and watched as a figure moved. The elder skeleton brother tugged his younger brother back, pushing him behind him as Sans ducked down to not be spotted. Holding Papyrus still with one arm, he peered at the figure who dropped a few brown paper bags into the trash. The figure looked to be made out of fire, the space around him lighting up by his presence, although only his head and arms were visible behind the dapper clothes adorning his flame body. Sans and Papyrus had taken food out of the garbage two days ago from that place and were overjoyed to find it filled with both untouched and half eaten food. It looks like it was a perfectly reliable place to get something to eat, but Sans couldn't risk going again. The last time they went Papyrus made so much noise they were almost spotted. Sans barely had enough time to grab his brother and teleport out of there before he heard the door open. The fire monster was probably suspicious, no doubt the entire town was. Although Sans tried to be careful and quiet, the skeleton knew he still sometimes left a mess or had to tear open a few bags that were too difficult to untie. He had to get out of the town, he had to get Papyrus somewhere warmer, safer.

“Brother,” Papyrus whispered, continuing to point, but Sans shook his head. The bar worker had pulled out a cigarette and lit it with his finger, casually smoking as he glanced around his alleyway and the street. Sans knew he messed up staying another night, the man was probably looking for them.

“We are leaving as soon as he goes back inside,” Sans told his brother, Papyrus let out a slow whine.

“B-But brother, the food-” Papyrus clutched at his stomach and Sans felt his soul grow heavy at the thought of his brother starving. Sans was hungry himself, starving even, he never ate until Papyrus was full or forced him to. He knew last night they didn't find much to eat and Papyrus was probably famished. Sans felt so conflicted, his love and devotion to his brother causing him to want to quickly rush over to grab something for him, but his overprotective and wary side preventing him from doing so.

“Pap we-” Sans couldn't look at his brother's sad face, “-Pap we can't, we need to keep moving.” Papyrus let out a small sob and San tensed up as it echoed in the empty space around them. He quickly pulled Papyrus toward him, hoping to somehow quite his brother's sobs as he glanced over at the fire element who was peering over at their hiding spot. “Papyrus please, please don't cry. We can come back next week, I promise. We-we have to get going, you know this. Please don't cry.” Sans begged, stroking his brother's skull as Papyrus cried quietly into his chest.

“Y-You need to eat.” Papyrus whimpered and Sans squeezed his eyes shut, willing his own tears away and shaking his head.

“I'm fine, we are fine. I just-I just really need you to calm down, okay?” Papyrus nodded, sniffling slightly and Sans glanced back at the bar alley, the monster hadn't moved and wasn't outright staring anymore but instead, stealing a few glimpses.

“O-Okay,” Papyrus nodded, pulling back and Sans used his sleeve to clean up his brother's face, offering him a tired smile.

When Sans turned back around, the man was gone and the older brother knew he needed to get moving. Standing up and taking Papyrus' hand, Sans checked one last time to make sure the coast was clear before moving. The two hastily exited their alleyway and began walking down the street. The brothers made it a few feet before stopping when they heard a door open. Sans yanked Papyrus away from the noise, blocking him from the sound as he eyed the area around them. The fire monster stepped outside once more, carrying a plate with him. He stepped out a bit into the street and stopped when he saw Sans. Sans tensed up, ready to attack at the slightest threat, but the man made no more advances.

“Is that for us?” Papyrus asked, but Sans did not answer. He watched the man, who instead of coming closer, took a step back, and in view of Sans and Papyrus, set down the plate on a box he turned over. The worker glanced back at them, hand waving gently. He went back inside and Sans didn't move for a bit, watching. It wasn't until Sans saw Papyrus advance closer to the offered food that the skeleton reacted.

“Papyrus!” Sans hissed as his brother made his way over to the alley and stood in front of the plate. He grinned, turning back to Sans who was rushing over to him. The door opened up once more and the elemental man stepped out holding two mugs in one hand and froze when he saw Papyrus standing there. Papyrus' grin fell into a more nervous and scared look, terror washing over him. The man slowly extended the mug and Sans felt the magic within him pulse. Before he could think he was by Papyrus' side, yanking him into his arms. The skeleton held his younger sibling away from the stranger, glaring at him, his eye glowing as he backed away. The fireman slowly raised his free hand in a sign of peace, but it only caused Sans to panic more, his eye blazing as he teleported away. He only managed to get a few feet away, falling over on his back, holding Papyrus against him to prevent him from hitting the ground. Sans swiftly got to his feet and ran, never looking back, his grip on his brother only tightening, his fear pumped adrenaline through him. He didn't stop until he ran three blocks over. His energy-high was wearing off and he began to feel how weak he had become.

He used too much magic, damn him. Sans knew he couldn't teleport in his condition let alone manage to somehow do it twice and with Papyrus. His energy was gone and his magic levels were probably nonexistent. The older brother ducked into a large bush and collapsed in the forest. Papyrus squirmed in his arms, managing to wiggle his way free.

“Sans!” Papyrus cried, rolling his brother over and attempting to lift him up. Sans struggled to do the same as well, barely managing to lift himself up on his arms before collapsing against a tree upright. He was sweating, panting and Papyrus was speaking too quickly for him to understand.

“Pap, I'm fine, just out of breath,” Sans smiled weakly causing Papyrus to grip on his sleeve still visibly worried. Papyrus brushed away some snow despite the ground still being frozen and wet and helped Sans sit down. “Thanks, bro,” Sans said, finally breathing evenly. He rested his head against the tree to help his still racing soul but ended up cracking an eye open when he heard Papyrus tear into something. Papyrus held out half a burger to Sans who stared at it in shocked. “Where did you-”

“I took it from that plate.” Papyrus proudly states with a smile and Sans frowned a little.

“Papyrus it could be drugged,” Sans warned, but the little brother shook his head offering it again to his hungry sibling.

“Monster are made out of kindness remember?” Sans wanted to laugh at that childish comment. Although the brothers had overheard that monsters are made of kindness and caring, Sans knew better than to believe that. He spent ten years with the cruelest and sadistic creature alive who dared to call himself a monster. No, monsters were not made out of kindness, monsters all had evil in them. Sans did, the doctor did, everyone did.

Papyrus took a big bite out of the burger before Sans could stop him and smiled happily. Maybe not all monsters, Papyrus didn't have a mean bone in his body and Sans aimed to keep it that way.

“You eat it,” Sans held out the offered food, but Papyrus grunted and shoved it against the skeleton's teeth. Papyrus was wiser than his brother thought, knowing good and well that Sans starved himself in order to feed him. Papyrus wasn't about to let him get away with another empty belly.

“No, we share it. I'm not stopping until you eat it all.” Sans gave in easily, opening his mouth and accepting the now cold food. Every molecule in his body was jumping with joy and he couldn't stop the sigh of happiness that escaped him as he chewed and swallowed. Papyrus was happy as well, chewing on the rest of his burger before licking his fingers clean.

“Do you want to get some water from the river? I can come with?” Sans offered but Papyrus shook his head frowning down at the snow.

“Brother, I-” Papyrus seemed conflicted but with a deep and steady breath spoke. “I don't think that monster was bad.” Sans felt his usual grin tense. “I think he wants to help.”

“We don't need help Papyrus. As soon as we get out of here we will be fine.” The younger sibling didn't seem convinced and if Sans was honest, he wasn't either. He had no idea what to do, what was to come, what was going to happen. He didn't know this place at all, except for his explorations he did when Papyrus was asleep, he was lost. They continued on their path away from their tormentor but there had to be an end. Sans just didn't know where or when.

“I think he can help,” Papyrus said softly, pulling his jacket closer. “I-I know you know what you're doing, b-but I think he can help.” Papyrus had so much faith in Sans. Sans felt like the worst brother alive knowing he was lying to his brother every day. How could he tell him they were lost? How could he tell his brother, he was scared, confused, wanting to give up and fall down already? Papyrus didn't remember that place, he didn't remember the doctor. As far as Sans knew, Papyrus thought he grew up with Sans on the streets his entire life. Sans wanted to keep it that way, but he also wanted to give Papyrus the world the older skeleton never had. He wanted to give him happiness, a warm bed, clothes that fit, actual food. Sans wanted to give him everything he saw through windows of homes but he had no idea how to even give him enough food at the end of the day.

“Pap-” Sans voice cracked and he quickly cleared his throat. “We can't right now, bro.” Sans voice sounded exhausted and Papyrus burrowed into his brother's side. Sans unzipped his jacket and Papyrus snuggled into his warm chest. Sans wrapped his arms around him, keeping him close, safe.

“Next week, we can go back, right?” Papyrus asked and Sans let out a long sigh and nodded.

“Next week, I promise.”

Papyrus held him to his word. As Papyrus got more excited, Sans only grew more nauseous. The sixth night, Papyrus could barely sleep due to his excitement while Sans didn't sleep at all because of how sick he felt.

By the time night came, the younger skeleton was tugging his brother back into the town. Just like the night a week ago, the two brother's waiting in the alleyway across the street, Sans holding Papyrus' hand to prevent him from running off again. Like clockwork, the man tossed out a few brown paper bags with a large black garbage bag and began to smoke. When the monster finished the smoke, he went back inside and Sans waited for the large glowing lights outside the bar to turn off before making his way across the street. Papyrus was grinning with excitement as Sans carefully lifted up the garbage lid with his magic and pulled himself up into it. The brown paper bags were filled with what look like full meals, a single burger and a large handful of fries tossed inside. Sans picked them up and handed them to his brother as he continued to search. Carefully opening up the black bag, Sans only found mainly half eaten food and scattered fries that he inhaled on sight along with some regular trash he brushed away. He'd let Papyrus have all the good food, keeping only the scraps to himself.

Sans poked his head out of the bin, smiling when he found another bag to give to Papyrus. The skeleton's grin vanished as he let out a gasp when he saw the fire monster handing something to his brother. Papyrus, being the innocent and sweet soul he was, was grinning as he accepted it and Sans sprung into action. He jumped out of the trash, blinking over to Papyrus and knocking the cup away, spilling the content onto the ground and shattering the glass. He reached behind him, holding Papyrus away from the stranger, glaring at him, letting out a snarl. The bar worker lifted his hands, awkwardly taking a step back as he still crouched down to their level. Sans felt Papyrus grip tighten around the elder brother's jacket and Sans knew he was scaring his brother.

“I'd offer you something, but I have a feeling you won't accept what I have to give,” The man said and Sans growled, backing up. He needed to go, he needed to take Papyrus and leave.

The bar worker sighed, running a hand over the flame on his head and glanced over at the brown paper bags on the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. He got up, a bit too quickly causing Sans to stumble a bit as he jumped away, and walked over to the bags, picking them up and handing them to Sans. Sans gaze shifted between the bags and the man, unsure of what to do. Papyrus acted for his brother, reaching out from behind Sans and taking the bags.

“Thank you!” Papyrus smiled and Sans shot him a stern look.

“So you do talk, at least one does.” Sans turned back around, lowering his arms he had been using to shield Papyrus but not giving up his defensive stance. “I own the bar,” The man said, pointing a thumb to the building behind him. “My name is Grillby.” Sans heard Papyrus take a breath, about to speak, but he quickly covered his brother's mouth. “I feel bad leaving you two out here, but you don't seem to want my help at all.” Grillby looked at Sans as he spoke.

“We don't need it,” Sans grumbled softly, surprising both his brother and the bar owner. “Let's go.” He said to Papyrus, taking his free hand and pulling him away from the bar and down the street.

“Brother, he wants to help! He's nice!” Papyrus tugged against Sans' grip, but Sans only tightened his hold, shaking his head.

“No Papyrus, we have to-” Papyrus stuck his feet into the dirt of the alleyway, refusing to move. Sans stopped, looking back at his brother, trying to lightly tug him, but he refused to move. “Pap, come one, let's go.”

“No!” Papyrus shouted startling Sans and himself. “No,” Papyrus repeated, a little less confidently. “He-he can help.” Papyrus looked up at Sans, his hollow eyes staring into the white dots of his brother. “Even if it's just for a little, he can help.” Sans didn't speak, he just pulled a little harder on his brother's arm and Papyrus fought against it. “I bet his bar is warm and has food and has water!” Papyrus dropped the brown bags onto the ground trying to pry Sans' finger off. “Even if it's just a day I bet it can-”

“Papyrus, stop!” Sans barked causing Papyrus to flinch away.

A warm place, food, water, what did it matter? The doctor offered Sans everything but it always came with a price. He had been tricked so many times by the thought of gifts, too many times. He caught on, and soon, gifts weren't enough anymore, Sans knew better than that. He knew the food was a bribe, he knew the water had some dissolved capsule inside, he knew the toys were watching him, he knew the clothes were tracking him. He rebelled, then the doctor knew that the days of Sans blindly following along were over. He knew Sans was no longer a toy to trick, he knew Sans was catching on. So he used the next best thing to get Sans to cooperate. What's more motivating that his own family? Especially when the doctor strapped Papyrus down, marking different parts of his skull with that black marker, slowly filling the syringe with the bright orange liquid and injecting it just as slowly into his brothers left eye socket. Sans couldn't stop him. He tired-god, he fucking tried, but in the end, Gaster just got what he wanted. Sans never disobeyed again and Papyrus was never the same again, not until he forgot.

“Papyrus, please,” Sans begged, feeling tears begin to form. “We can't go back. We can't accept his help. We just can't.” Papyrus too, began to cry, rushing forward and clinging onto Sans, nodding into his jacket.

“I'm sorry!” He cried and Sans knelt down to pick him up. “I'm sorry, brother. I-I just-”

“Shh, hey-shh, Pap.” Sans cooed, holding his head against his chest and he glanced down at the food on the ground. “It's okay, it's going to be okay,” Sans whispered, cradling Papyrus with one arm as he knelt down to pick up the bags. Papyrus took them into his arm, sniffling a bit.

“I'm sorry,” Papyrus mumbled again and Sans smiled a bit, pressing his teeth to the top of Papyrus' head, nuzzling their foreheads together slightly.

“You want to go to the Waterfall again?” Sans asked and Papyrus smiled shyly, nodding.

“I like the crystals!” Papyrus grinned and Sans laughed a bit.

“I like them too, pal. Maybe we can snag a few crabapples from the old turtle again.” Papyrus giggled a bit, nodding as he slowly opened up one bag and began to nibble on the cold fries, offering one to Sans who accepted.

Although Sans hated to backtrack, he wanted Papyrus to be happy and Papyrus loved the Waterfalls the most out of all the places they had been. Plus, it was relatively large enough for Sans and Papyrus to hide out without fear of being spotted. When Papyrus was up for it, they'd continue on with heading to the unknown land.

The break at Waterfall was needed, for both of them. Being able to somewhat wash away their stink and being able to relax and gaze at the beautiful surroundings was a stress relief. Sans had even managed to snag a few things from the old turtle's shop, but Sans suspected the old guy knew and just allowed him to take it anyways, out of pity maybe. Sans didn't care what look they gave him, he'd do anything if it meant helping out his brother. Papyrus had even managed to find a few packets of strange food in the piles of garbage that they snacked on for the duration of their time at the place. In the few short days they had stayed, it refilled their spirits and magic and the two were ready to head out.

“Wait, Papyrus, your scarf is still wet.” Sans felt around the fabric, but Papyrus tugged it out of his hands.

“It'll dry!” He began to wrap it around his neck and Sans helped him when he seemed to get stuck. “It's just a little damp.”

“The snow won't make it any less.” Sans snorted, but Papyrus just burrowed into the scarf and tugged Sans out into the snow. The two were able to make it through the edge of town before the sun started to rise. They huddled together in an abandoned station and slept for a large portion of the day, before rising and marching onward. The night was a little colder than the rest, and halfway through it started to rain. The two slept under trees that provided little protection against the rain but it was better than nothing. Sans pulled out the last two crabapples and handed one to Papyrus and they ate before resting a bit.

When Sans woke up, he frowned, seeing that it was still raining. Slowly rising, he shivered a bit against the cold and looked down to find Papyrus trembling as he slept. Carefully, Sans picked his brother up and cradled him inside his jacket as he marched on. There had to be something out here right? Someplace to get out of the rain, maybe someplace warm. He needed to get Papyrus something. When Papyrus began to wake up Sans noticed he looked a little flushed.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Sans asked, resting a boney hand against his forehead.

“A little tired,” Papyrus answered with a yawn and Sans frowned, he felt warm. Considering both we soaking wet and in the freezing rain, warmth wasn't a natural thing to be.

“Go back to sleep, I can carry you.” Papyrus shook his head, holding Sans' hand and the two continued their trudge through the snow.

It didn't get much better from there, in fact, it got worse. When the two decided to rest under a tree, Sans couldn't find a single edible food around. If he didn't find anything tomorrow he'd have to go back, he couldn't make Pap go two days hungry, not like this. The rain felt like needles against his bone as he retreated back to Papyrus who was huddled in his scarf. Sans sat down next to him and pulled him close, hoping that maybe he was providing some kind of warmth.

“Brother,” Papyrus called out weakly, muffled against the scarf. “I don't feel very good.” Sans swallowed and looked around once more for anything.

“You're going to be fine,” Sans reassured him, stroking his head and he shielded him from the rain. “Tomorrow, tomorrow we will be better.” Papyrus barely nodded and Sans prayed to whatever creature listening for his brother to be okay.

When he woke up the next morning, the rain was now just a light drizzle. Papyrus was tangled in his clothes and Sans shook him a bit to wake him up. Papyrus didn't stir and Sans tried again, but still nothing.

“Pap?” Sans asked, sitting up a bit, shaking his shoulder. “Bro?” Sans felt himself begin to panic. “Papyrus!” Sans shouted, picking him up. Sans watched as he breathed slowly, quietly, almost wheezing as he took a deep breath. Sans pressed his head against his brother's chest, listening to the dull thud of magic pumping in his bones. He felt so hot, he was sick. “Pappy? Papyrus, come on, wake up.” Sans couldn't stop his tears as panic set in. Sans looked around, standing on shaking legs as he held his brother tightly to his damp chest.

Papyrus needed help. Sans needed to help him. Where could he go? Sans didn't know who to go to, who to call out to, he had nobody. He looked back in the direction they came from and turned away. There had to be something here, right? There had to be more. Could he take that chance? Looked down at Papyrus who made a small face as if he was in pain he shook his head and marched on, he had to find something for his brother and there was bound to be something ahead. Sans briskly walked, glancing around for something that was different anything other than snow and trees. Sans let out a small cry of relief as he spotted a path. Running toward it, he quickly followed it, grinning to himself.

“We're going to be okay, Pap!” Sans said his magic pumping faster as he spotted a large brick wall that merged into the cavern of the mountain. Sans came to a stop in front of a large door and knocked against it. When he got no reply he tried again, only to receive more silence. He pushed against the door banging with his free hand.

“Hey!” The skeleton shouted, kicking the door. “Open the door!” Still with no reply, Sans looked around, setting Papyrus down against the wall and using both hands to push and pull against the door. He called out for help, his hands began to throb as he pounded away, but nobody came.

This couldn't be it. This couldn't be the end. Sans felt his teeth grind together and he stepped back, his skull buzzing as his eye started to glow, a large blue bone appeared and bashed against the door before vanishing. The door remained closed, undamaged, it only angered Sans more and he continued to try once more to bash open the door with his femur attack but it did nothing.

This was it? This was all there was? This was the end of their journey? A locked door?! He needed help. Papyrus needed a medicine, the elder brother needed to get his brother to safety, but all there was before him was a locked door?!

Sans let out a scream as he attacked the door again, tears streaming down his face as he became overrun with emotions.

What was he hoping to find? Monsters he'd run from, food to steal, a fucking abandoned safe haven for them to live in forever? Sans ran away from everyone did he just expect a utopia empty and waiting to be discovered? He was so stupid! The skeleton made a mistake in walking on instead of turning back. Sans life purpose of protecting his younger brother was about to be ruined and it was all his fault.

“Where do I go?” Sans shrieked to anyone listening, crying against the door. “What do I do? He needs help! Open the door!” Sans begged, falling to his knees. The attacks he summoned vanish as he became weak. Papyrus let out a loud, painful sounding cough followed by a whimper and Sans felt more tears begin to fall. “I'm sorry, Pap. I'm the worst brother ever. I can't take care of us. I can't do anything. I thought I could help you, but I ended up just killing you.” Sans sobbed, finally allowing defeat to wash over him. His brother was going to die and it was all his fault. All because he wanted to leave, because he had to kill Gaster because he was too scared to get help when-

“Help...” Sans whispered, staring back at the long path. Help. Sans needed help. And he only knew one monster that ever offered it!

Sans lifted Papyrus back into his arms and took a deep breath, calming himself down as he used all his energy to teleport them back into town, to that bar alleyway. The sound around him vanished along with the light and the world itself, nothing but silence and darkness around the two before Sans' magic spark fizzing and crackling as he was transported. Sans fell onto his side, holding Papyrus against him as he grunted in pain. The skeleton was panting, his body too weak to stand for a moment. Sans pushed himself up, breathing heavily and he rested against the wall, his vision swimming making him want to pass out. Shaking his head, the elder skeleton disregarding the pain in his side as he quickly stood up and made his way to the backdoor. He banged against it until it opened up and the barman rubbed his face as he looked around before his head dropped spotting the skeletons.

“What-”

“Help him!” Sans begged, swallowing all his pride and fear. Grillby said he wanted to help them right? He said he'd be able to help them and right now Sans needed help, Papyrus needed help.

“Hey kid, what's wrong-”

“Help my brother, he's sick. Help him! You said you wanted to help!” Sans sounded as desperate as he felt and Grillby ushered him inside, hoping the shouting hadn't woken anyone up.

“Let me see him.” Grillby leaned down to pick up the sickly skeleton but Sans turned away.

“No!” Sans held onto his brother, turning away. “Don't touch him!”

“I need to look at him. I can't if you won't let me see what is wrong.” Sans glanced between his brother and the strange monster, not wanting to comply. It wasn't until Papyrus let out a wheezy breath that Sans nodded and held him out. Sans felt so empty and alone as soon as Papyrus was taken from him, a small, pitiful whimper escaping him as Grillby held his younger brother. The flame monster took off the scarf and large jacket and handed them to Sans who took them, squeezing them so tightly that the damp clothes started to drip water onto the floor, joining the puddle around his feet. He motioned for Sans to follow as he walked into a small bedroom and set Papyrus down on the bed. Grillby shuffled through a dresser and pulled out two white shirts and handed them to Sans, swapping them out for the damp clothes.

“Get yourself changed, him too, I'll be right back.” Sans nodded and took Papyrus out of his wet clothes first before changing his own. Sans climbed into the bed with Papyrus, holding his brother's hand. Grillby came back in the room holding a small tray with an assortment of items on it. He handed Sans a glass of water and looked over a few bottles before opening one up and pouring a small amount of bright red liquid into a plastic cup. Sans tensed up, launching the glass he was handed onto the floor, pulling Papyrus away from the cup.

“No!” Sans barked, kicking the covers off and he backed away from Grillby who had barely dodged the water thrown near him.

Sans had made a mistake, this was a trap. He was trapped. Could he escape? He didn't trust his magic to get him very far, and without his clothes, he'd freeze.

“Hey, kid, please calm down.” Grillby set to down the red liquid, hoping it would calm the skeleton down.

“What is that?” Sans demanded and the bar owner looked at him before showing him the bottle.

“Medicine, it will help with his fever.”

“Liar.” Sans hissed, unable to make his eye glow as threateningly as he'd want.

“Look,” Grillby held out the bottle, pointing to the scribbles on it, “cough medicine.” Grillby pointed to the words but Sans squinted, unable to read them. He recognized that writing, the writing the other doctors used and he never understood. Sans tried to learn, but Gaster never wrote in that form so he never bothered.

“Liar,” Sans repeated, using the fluffy pillow as a barricade. That color red, that glow, it had to be determination. Sans never saw anything else look like it before. Now this man was trying to tell him it was medicine? Sans wasn't an idiot, not even Gaster lied to him so obviously.

“Would you feel better if I took it?” The fire monster offered and Sans eyes widened. A cup of determination that size, and he'd just drink it? Who was this monster? What creature could take that much? Did all monsters have this ability? Was the world outside the lab filled with determination eating monsters?

“Wha...” Sans breathed out, confused. Grillby looked down at the cup, not looking forward to the flavor to come before he tossed the liquid into his mouth. Sans gasped, covering his mouth with his hand, pillow falling over. Grillby swallowed, shivering a bit at the taste. “You...” Sans stared, waiting for him to convulse, scream, pass out, but nothing came.

“Pretty nasty flavor, fake cherry isn't my thing.” Grillby poured another cup holding it out. “But it's fine, just medicine.”

Sans seemed hesitant but slowly began holding out his hand and took the cup.

“Make sure he drin--Hey!” Sans drank the liquid and braced himself for the strong burn he was familiar with, but only got what was apparently the taste of fake cherry.

“It's not...” Sans trailed off, looking down at the cup, then back at Grillby before holding it back out to him.

“Give it to him.” The bartender said and Sans nodded as he refilled the cup and helped Papyrus drink the liquid. “You going to test all the medicine I give him?” Sans nodded again and Grillby sighed. “It's not good to take medicine you don't need. Are you feeling sick?”

“No, I don't get sick,” Sans answered, holding out his hand as the flame placed three pills on his bony palm. Sans swallowed them dry waiting for any side effect to take over but after a few minutes of nothing he nodded and allowed Papyrus to take them as well, Grillby handing over the second glass of water to Sans to help him.

“Everyone gets sick, kid, especially children who have been out in the freezing rain.” Sans shook his head, setting the now empty glass of water down. Sans wouldn't get sick from something as basic as the weather. Sans was conditioned to be better than that. The only thing that made Sans sick was an overdose, and Sans hated when the doctor gave him too much 'medicine'.

“Is he going to wake up soon?” Sans asked and Grillby shrugged causing Sans to frown.

“Yeah, he should be fine after he gets some rest. Do you need anything? Water, blanket, food?”

“Food?” Sans echoed the second it was offered, sickened by how eager he was. Grillby just nodded, collected his tray and leaving. Sans watched him leave before relaxing against the plush bed. It was the fluffiest thing he had ever been on. Sans wanted Papyrus to wake up just so he could experience this with him. He cuddled up next to Papyrus who already was breathing better and smiled.

“It's going to be okay.” The skeleton spoke to his brother, pressing his teeth to his younger sibling's forehead and waiting for Grillby to return. When he did, Sans sat up and held back a small excited noise when he saw a large bowl of chunky, off-colored water. Soup? He took it and ignored the spoon completely and just began to guzzle it down, barely taking the time to chew on the chunks of food inside. He stopped only when around halfway remained and wiped his mouth off with the collar of his shirt.

“You can finish it, you know. I can always make more.” Grillby offered, Sans just shook his head and looked down at Papyrus. He needed to eat, and the elder brother couldn't risk eating all of the food in case this monster did decide to turn bad. “I can make more for him when he wakes up.” Sans just held onto the bowl, eyes challenging Grillby to try to take it. “Okay,” the bar owner surrendered, raising his hands and backing up. Sans set the bowl on the bedside table and snuggled back up against his brother.

“Hey,” the older skeleton said as Grillby turned to leave. He looked back and Sans was looking away almost seeming to be shy. “Thank you, for helping my brother.”

“You two got any names?” The bartender asked and Sans contemplated lying or just not telling him, but he knew if Papyrus woke up he'd blabber away anyways.

“Sans,” Sans tightened his hold slightly on his sleeping brother. “He's Papyrus.”

“Can I ask another question?” Sans shrugged and Grillby took it as a yes. “How'd you end up on the streets?”

“Nice try.” Sans glared, tone bitter and Grillby shook his head, the flame crackling a bit.

“Worth a shot.”

“How'd you end up with a bar?” Sans interrogated and the man leaned against the doorframe.

“You can ask questions, but I can't?”

“Ask a better one.”

“I bought the lot, made a bar. Needed something to do to help get my mind off of things.” The owner said with a shrug.

“What things?” Sans pressed and Grillby snorted, shaking his head.

“Now who's getting personal?” Grillby taunted.

“You started it.” Sans challenged. “Why'd you help us?”

“Because I have a soul.” Grillby seemed baffled the child even asked the question. “What's your favorite meal?” Sans gave the monster a confused look. What kind of question was that?

“I don't have one.”

“No candy? Pizza? Burgers?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Curious.”

“I don't have one,” Sans repeated and he really didn't. He wasn't given the food he found in the trash before. His food was liquids or maybe a pill of some kind, any other uncontrollable variable could mess up the doctor's calculations. Sans ate what Gaster wanted him to eat. In the streets, Sans was amazed at the different things he found in trash cans. He had no names for them, making up things as he went usually, Papyrus liking the funny names. Sans only knew the names of a few foods he heard monsters talking about.

Why was he even thinking about this? This bed, medicine, food, all had a cost. Sans was probably in for some big surprise when Papyrus woke up. The skeleton could only imagine what Grillby would have in store for him in order to make up for the bed alone. Gaster, he made Sans work until he passed out for a simple piece of candy. The medicine must have been at least fifty candies worth of work.

“What about him?” Grillby motioned to Papyrus, Sans glancing down. The best thing he could do for now was answer him. It wasn't personal, no weaknesses were given, answering was harmless. Maybe playing along would ease the punishment later.

“Papyrus, he liked these candies.” Sans tried to remember the time he had been given candy by the doctor. Although it was safe to eat, accepting it meant he'd be accepting another five injections into his eye. “They are round,” Sans outlined the shape of the candy with his finger. “Purple, in a clear wrapper with white stripes on it.” Grillby nodded as Sans explained the candy. “He also liked this thing, it was long and thin and wiggly.” Sans attempted to draw it out again with his hands. “It was a pile, but it looked like worms.”

“A noodle?” Sans shrugged.

“I guess if that's what it's called.”

“And you? Was there nothing you liked that you ate before?” Sans thought about it, instead of blowing him off. He thought back to all the food he had eaten the past year and even the ones he'd hear monsters talk about before.

“Hot dog.” Sans decided, never having one himself but always finding the name funny. “Is it good?” Grillby shrugged and nodded and Sans nodded with him. “I want to try a hot dog.”

“You should get some rest.” Sans didn't respond, only leaned into the pillow, staring at the wall ahead. Sans didn't like to sleep when he knew Papyrus was unwell. Sans didn't like to sleep at all if he was honest. The amount of times he had woken up strapped to some machine or table, or woken up to find Papyrus gone had scared him of it. He used to be such a heavy sleeper, but now even Papyrus rolling around woke Sans up. Grillby stood in the doorframe, the only sound being small crackles from his body before he pushed off from the doorframe and flicked off the light.

“Leave them on!” Sans called out, quickly clicking his teeth together. He was really pushing this guy, wasn't he? Bed, food, medicine, now wasting his power? Sans wasn't allowed to make demands, he obeyed them. Sans was terrified of the dark, though, being trapped in it for so long. He knew better than to ask the bar owner for a light but maybe, maybe Grillby would-

The lights flickered back on and Sans looked at the owner with a blank face. Grillby simply just waved and walked out of the room and Sans pondered a bit over where he was going before he realized he didn't really care. Sans felt his eyes grow heavy, the heat from the blankets and the softness of the bed tempting him to drift off. If this bed was a trap of some kind, it was the best one Sans had ever seen. He felt so cozy and happy, like when Papyrus gave him a hug. Sans wondered if this is what Papyrus felt when Sans let him inside his jacket on colder nights.

The elder skeleton's eyes snapped open, unaware of how they even closed in the first place. Papyrus wiggled in his arms and Sans loosened his grip, allowing his brother to roll onto his side before snuggling close to him once more. Grillby walked past the door a few times, each time glancing into the room to make sure his two guests were still alive.

“Hey,” Sans voice sounded exhausted as he called out to Grillby as he walked by. He looked into the room at Sans and waited for him to continue. “How bright is it outside?”

“Still pretty dark.” Sans nodded, glancing around the room. The brightness of the underground was the only form of time Sans attempted to keep track of. Gaster talked of time a lot, but Sans never understood what it was exactly. He knew of days, months, and years in a sense, but when he saw the weird time reader on the walls he never understood them. The skeleton would only sit and watch as they flicked by. 

“Hey,” Sans stated, moving a heavy arm to point to the black box next to the bed with the glowing red characters. “What's this? It keeps changing.” Grillby bit back his concern and stepped into the room looking at the clock.

“It's a clock. It tells time. Right now it is 5:56 in the morning.” The fire element told him.

“Clock.” Sans pondered, seeming a bit flustered almost as he debated his question. His eyes shot up to the paper on the wall above, and Grillby followed his gaze.

“Calendar.” He told Sans. “It tells you the date.”

“Date?”

“Day, month, year, the day of the week.” Sans seemed fascinated staring at it in wonder.

“What day is it?”

“December sixteenth, Monday.”

“Monday, December,” Sans repeated his brain-latching onto the new words, storing them away for Papyrus.

“Those,” Sans pointed to the clock making the shape in the sheets with his finger. “The changing shapes-”

“Numbers?”

“Numbers.” Those were numbers? “Are those numbers too?” Sans pointed to the calendar and Grillby took in a calm breath, trying to ease the growing feeling of dread.

“Numbers and letters.”

“Letters.”

“Can you-... can you not read?” Grillby blurted and Sans tensed. His boney arms securing themselves around Papyrus, head lowering to avoid meeting the monster’s gaze.

“I can read,” Sans mumbled, defensively. Sans could read! He just couldn't read those weird letters and numbers. He wasn't familiar with them. Grillby saw the obvious discomfort he had caused and cursed himself silently.

“Sorry Sans, I just-... sorry. Hey, I got to open up my bar at half-past eight.” Grillby told Sans. Pausing a bit, wondering if the skeleton knew what that meant. The fire element opened up the drawer and pulled out a piece of paper and pencil, scribbling down the time and setting it next to the clock. “That's when I open up.” He said to Sans as he pointed to Papyrus. “I'd like for you two to stay here while I work.” Sans nodded and Grillby seemed pleased with him. “They can get a bit rowdy out there, want me to close the door when I open?”

“No!” Sans answered quickly. Closed doors meant he was trapped. Although there was a window behind him, he didn't know if he had the strength to jump out of it if he could. For all Sans knew, it was made of the same material the lab windows were made of. That strong glass the doctor stood behind as he watched Sans shriek and cry out in pain as the red and cyan ooze ripped his skull apart.

“Hey,” A heated hand rested against Sans' shoulder, causing him to jump. The blue shadow casting over the monster's body told Sans he had overreacted again, his magic overcoming him. He blinked it away, turning away from Grillby. “Get some rest.” Sans just nodded, burrowing his face against Papyrus.

 


	2. Candy and Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combination of chapters 3 and 4

Sans was thankful that the bar had opened up because he was barely able to keep his eyes open. By the time he heard a small bell and door open, Sans was practically asleep, startled awake by the sound of voices. Papyrus stirred only a bit when there was a loud barking noise or glass breaking, but for the most part, it was only Sans who was alert startled by every new voice, sound, or footstep. Grillby kept checking up on the two a lot, making sure they were there and alive. Whenever a particularly loud noise happened the bartender would poke his head in the room, making sure Sans was not gone or startled, but then went back to work. His customers seemed to notice his distraction as well, calling him out occasionally.

“Hey Grillby, you seem distracted!”

“Woof! You got something back there?”

Sans never heard Grillby response, though. He came in once with a plate of fries and burger, handing it to Sans. Just like the soup, Sans ate half before hoarding the rest on the bedside table.

When it started to get dark outside, Papyrus woke himself up with a cough. He opened tired eyes and looked around the room, sockets resting on Sans who was nodding in and out of consciousness. Papyrus remained still, watching his brother's head slowly lower as he finally gave in, slouched against the headboard. Papyrus didn't want to risk moving out of Sans' arms, knowing how light of a sleeper he was and decided to just remain stagnant. Papyrus heard footsteps behind him and attempted to glance in the direction, surprised to see the bar owner looking back at him. The flame on his head rose a bit, in what Papyrus thought was shock, before he pointed to his stomach. Papyrus gave him a confused look, but Grillby left before returning moments later with a bowl of soup. Papyrus wiggled in Sans' arms, causing the older brother to stir as Papyrus grabbed the bowl.

“I'm working now, but let me know if you need anything, food or other things,” Grillby said pointing behind him before taking off.

“Sans!” Papyrus whispered once Sans sat up, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Pap, hey,” Sans smiled, his voice sounding hoarse. “How are you feeling?”

“Warm!” Papyrus giggled, holding the now empty bowl close as he let out a small cough. Sans took the bowl from him and set it on the floor. As he sat back up, Papyrus latched onto him, hugging him close, burrowing his face in Sans' borrowed shirt. “You got help,” Papyrus mumbled into the fabric and Sans let out a sigh, patting his younger brother's head and nodding.

“I had to,” Sans admitted and Papyrus looked up at him.

“I like him!”

“You like everyone, bro.” Sans chuckled and Papyrus pouted a bit before pulling back as he coughed a few times. “Are you still feeling bad? Hungry? I have some food I saved for you.” Sans turned to grab his half eaten meal, but Papyrus shook his head, tugging him back.

“He said we can ask him for more. You don't have to save the food.” Papyrus stated and Sans held his breath for a second.

“We already have some.”

“You need to eat.”

“I'm souper full.” Sans cracked a joke, hoping to draw attention away from himself.

“Brother, he wants to help.”

But at what price? Sans couldn't get a read on this guy. He didn't know what his end goal was, why he was really helping these two out. Grillby couldn't just offer all this hospitality for free. Although Sans had very little concept of money and how it worked, he knew it would cost a lot more than the five gold he found in the snow one time to pay for the food. Papyrus seemed to be better, maybe he could leave now while he was working and go-...

Go where? To the waterfalls? Is that where they'd spend their lives, among trash and echo flowers? That's not a life he wanted to give to Papyrus. Sans wanted to give him this life, the life with a bed, clothes, and shelter, but that had to cost more than answering few questions.

“I'll... I'll ask.”

Sans was never allowed to ask for things. The doctor hated his curiosity, his requests. He liked them at first, humoring Sans when he was small, actually answering his questions and allowing him to look over the tools Gaster used on him. That changed quickly, right around the time Papyrus was born, maybe a year or two in, when Papyrus proved to be different from Sans. The older Sans got, the more the scientist loathed him. His once perfect creation was soiled by his failed one. Soon, Gaster didn't even bother humoring Sans. He refused to call him by his name and punished him every time he stepped out of line. Sans didn't understand why, feeling betrayed and hurt, but eventually he realized that the monster he thought Gaster was, was a lie. A mask he used to keep Sans from giving up and losing hope as a child, but now Sans had Papyrus. The skeleton didn't need the scientist's lies and fake smiles to keep him happy. Papyrus was his new light, but that only made Sans easier to break.

Sans took in a shaky breath, looking over at the door Grillby was behind.

The idea of asking for something when he had already been given so much was filling him with paranoia. Sans, however, couldn't think clearly with Papyrus staring at him. Sans gave in, his brother's happiness outweighed any amount of cost he'd be forced to pay. Papyrus grinned, excitedly kicking his legs under the blanket and letting out a cough when he excited himself too much.

“And some medicine,” Sans smiled shakily, crawling out of the bed and nervously gripping the helm of the shirt. Taking a deep breath, he inched forward toward the door, trying his best not to look as terrified as he felt, knowing Papyrus was watching his every move.

He glanced up at the door, pushing against it and peering out of a small crack. He spotted a large wooden counter that blocked most of the view, but other than that it was empty. Swallowing, he pushed it open more, stopping at every small chatter or noise that sounded close. When the door was open wide enough for him to squeeze through, he was practically paralyzed with fear. The door was not nearly as hidden away as Sans had originally thought, leaving him exposed to the open bar. Fortunately, the two bodies sitting at the table in front of him had their backs to the skeleton but the sight of actual other monsters made him want to retreat. Maybe he could find something on his own. Maybe it's best if he just--

“Oh, Grilly! Who's this cute little guy?” A high pitch voice sounded, causing Sans to let out a small squeak as he looked up, spotting a tall, bunny woman leaning over the bar grinning down at him. Although most of the bar was still minding their own business, a few close by had turned to look over at Sans, who was too busy focusing on keeping himself calm enough to not attack everybody in the bar, to move or run. When Grillby walked across the large wooden counter, coming into Sans' view, his flames rose before lowing in a concerned manner.

“Sans, what's wrong?” He questioned stepping closer, snapping Sans out of his daze as he stumbled back into the back area, falling onto his back. Once out of the prying eyes of the bar dwellers, Sans felt his magic relax and he took in a few deep breaths.

“P-Pap, h-he's hungry and-and need more medicine.” Sans managed to get out, his voice and body shaking.

“Okay, I'll be right in,” Grillby said and Sans nodded, quickly walking back to the bed and crawling on it.

“It sounds like a lot of monsters are out there,” Papyrus smiled, excited about the new people. Sans shrugged, scooting close to his brother, his presence calming him down faster than any method he'd teach himself. “Do you think they are as nice as Grillby?” Sans felt his grin tighten a bit at the question.

“Uh-maybe, Pap. Let's not try to find out, okay?” Papyrus nodded and Grillby came in ten minutes later with another tray, this time with two bowls and the same red syrupy liquid as before. Grillby poured a small bit out and handed it to Sans first, who debated on testing it again, but allowed himself to trust the bar owner handing it to Papyrus who swallow it. Grillby handed them both a bowl afterward, but Sans didn't even begin to touch his until Papyrus was done with his own and then offered the bowl, but Papyrus rejected, forcing Sans to eat the entire content inside the bowl.

“Thank you, that was yummy! What was it?” Papyrus grinned as he held out the bowls for Grillby to take.

“It's called soup.” The bartender instructed and Papyrus smiled.

"There are other kinds?"

"Yes," Grillby answered shortly

"Well, thank you!" The younger sibling elbowed his brother sides and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“Thanks,” he mumbled and the fire element let out a small huff, crackling a little as he did.

“No problem. I'm going to head back out, okay? Stay in the bed, for now, I'll check up on you guys in a few.” The skeletons nodded and Grillby left with the tray, taking the old plates of half eaten food with him.

“Is this a bed?!” Papyrus yawned leaning against the bed.

“Yeah, nice huh?” Papyrus hummed, pulling the blanket over him.

“I like Grillby.”

“I don't know, he seems like he might be a little hot headed.” Papyrus burrowed under the covers to hide his grin. “Wood you like me to go on?” Sans knocked his hand against the wooden bedside table and Papyrus poked his head out, laughing.

“That's so bad!”

“I think they are souper great.”

“You already made that one!”

“Did I? Sorry, I couldn't brother to remember it.” Papyrus jumped at Sans, chuckling as the younger skeleton tangled his limbs with his brother's. “Careful bro, you'll hit my funny bone.” Papyrus only laughed, reaching around to tickle at a few of Sans' ribs. Sans let out a loud laugh, curling in on himself as Papyrus began his tickling assault.

Sans enjoyed word play, puns, jokes, everything in that nature. It made Papyrus laugh and it kept Sans entertained in the lab. Trying to find new ways to use words differently or create a joke somehow, it was a good way to pass the time.

“Give in, pun monster!” Papyrus demanded, his face glowing as Sans fell over, howling with laughter.

“Spare me, oh Great Papyrus!” Sans faked begged and Papyrus released his brother, smiling triumphantly.

“Another victory for The Great Papy-” Papyrus let out an excited shriek as Sans scooped him up, raising him into the air before bringing him back down to press a kiss to his forehead.

“You're just so talented, Pap. You'll have to train me to be as cool as you.” Sans grinned and Papyrus squirmed until the skeleton sets him back down.

“I'll work you down to the bone!” Sans snorted, covering his yawn.

“Good one bro.” Papyrus dove under the covers once more, resting his head against San's rib cage, Sans draping his arm over him.

“You tired?” Papyrus questioned.

“Just a bit, wanted to make sure you were okay,” Sans answered, allowing himself to relax and close his eyes.

“Don't worry, I'll stand guard and watch out for you!” Papyrus wiggled around, so his back was facing Sans and eyes watching the door. Sans let out a small chuckle, pulling Papyrus closer, resting his forehead against the back of Papyrus's head.

“Let me know if you see anything,” Sans mumbled allowing sleep to wash over him knowing his brother was healthy and at least, for now, safe.

 

~*~

 

_“Prepare your brother tomorrow.” The doctor spoke as he finished wrapping Sans arm in bandages. Sans looked up at him confused, he wanted to speak, but he knew he wasn't allowed to. Sans could scream, beg, and cry all he wanted during experiments, but as soon as they were over he was silent._

_Speaking wasn't allowed, a lot of things weren't allowed._

_“_ _I will be moving onto my next project, you are almost done.” Next project? There was more? What else could this man do to Sans? Why did he need Papyrus?_

 _“_ _Wh-” The scientist gripped onto the bandaged arm, pressing down with great force. Sans cried out, the fresh injury burning against the vice._

 **“** _You seem to always forget your place when it comes to him. So I'll make this simple, prepare your brother for the examinations. If he acts up, I'm finding a new subject.” The doctor released his grip and turned away, picking up his clipboard as he began to scribble away._

 _“_ _Doctor Gaster!” A voice called, entering the room. Sans stared down at the ground, feeling exposed without his gown over his boney body. “Are you ready to begin testing?”_

 _“_ _Tomorrow, I'm finishing up with 01S currently. It's almost ready.” The other scientist nodded and left the room and Gaster turned back around to face Sans. “Up,” Sans hopped down from the table and stood, eyes still cast downward. “01S,” Gaster grinned, menacingly. “I'm giving you an entire day to prepare, do not disappoint.” Sans swallowed, hesitantly lifting his head, a smile forcing its way onto his face. Sans cowered away when the doctor's eyes flickered purple, a foreign object wrapping around Sans neck, lifting him off of his feet. “There you go again, forgetting your place.” Sans was thrown to the ground, grinding his teeth together to suppress a scream. “Move.” Sans found himself lifting his body up, waiting for the doctor to open the door and leave before following behind him._

_Three steps back, always alert, any closer and Sans would bump into him, any farther and Gaster would think he was trying to escape or be lazy. His eyes glued to the floor the entire way, he paused as Gaster opened another door and shoved Sans inside._

_“_ _Brother!” Papyrus cried out, running over to Sans, helping him to his feet. “Brother, your arm.”_

 _“_ _Don't worry about it, Pap. It's just a little scratch. Didn't even hurt,” Lie. Fuck, it had stung so badly, one of the worst prolonged physical pains Sans had ever felt, but he couldn't tell Papyrus that._

 _“_ _Let me see,” Papyrus tried to pry Sans arm away from him but Sans yanked it back. No, he couldn't see this, of all the injuries Sans had shown, he refused to let Papyrus see this one. “It's bad, isn't it?”_

 _“_ _No-it's...Papyrus we need to talk.” Sans felt heavy. The elder skeleton nodded over to their corner, they slept in and Papyrus helped Sans over despite his protests. “I-I really need you to listen okay? And stay calm, no matter what.” Papyrus nodded and Sans swallowed._

_God, he didn't want to do this. Tell the only light in his pitch black world that the doctor wanted to see him next. That Gaster was done with Sans and wanted to move onto Papyrus next. All the years of pain and torment, Sans had done everything in his power to prevent Papyrus from coming close to it, but he had just been delaying the inevitable. Gaster would drag Papyrus out of here, kicking and screaming, just like he had done so many times with both skeleton brothers. Sans needed to warn him because he could not protect him._

_“_ _He-He wants to take a look at you tomorrow.” Sans couldn't find it in him to raise his voice higher than a dull whisper. Papyrus looked scared, eyes widening and his grip on Sans slipping. “I need you to focus on me right now, Pap.” Sans held Papyrus's skull in his free hand. “I need you to listen to everything he says. I need you to do everything he asks no matter how tired, no matter how much it hurts. I need you to do this for me.” Papyrus was shaking his head, tears forming in his eye sockets. “Papyrus, please, promise me you'll listen.”_

 _“_ _B-brother, I'm scared.” Papyrus, Sans pulled Papyrus into a hug, wincing as he moved his arm. “Last time-Last time it-”_

 _“_ _I know.” Sans stiffened, trying to push the memories away. The screams would echo and haunt him for as long as he lived._

 _“_ _Is it going to hurt?” Sans couldn't hold back the small sob that slipped out at the question._

 _“_ _Yes, it's going to hurt a lot.” Sans squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the pain in his arm as he held onto Papyrus. Sans couldn't lie to him, he couldn't tell his brother, he would be safe, okay, even come back to him at the end of the day. To fill him up with hope would only break him faster._

_The two latched onto each other, eventually falling asleep on the floor before the sound of the locks on the door startled them awake and the door opened to show the scientist standing there, eyes watched the two of them._

_“_ _WD02P, Up.”_

 

~*~

 

Sans eyes shot open, shivering against the empty feeling of his brother's absence. He bolted up, jumping when he spotted the bar owner leaning over him, eyes glancing between Sans' own and his arm. Sans tucked his arm close, glaring defensively.

“Where's Papyrus?” Sans demanded and Grillby didn't even have time to answer before Papyrus let out a happy squeal, running by the room with a blanket tied around his neck. Sans visibly relaxed, letting out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

“You were moving around a lot in your sleep. You held onto your arm pretty tight, is it hurting?” Grillby asked Sans. Sans' gripped tightened and shook his head averting his eyes.

“It's just a scratch, happened a long time ago.” That's all it was, a large scratch, that's what he told Papyrus, and that's what he'd tell everyone. No one needed to know about the marking. No one needed to know Sans had to scrap them off of his bone. No one needed to know anything.

There was a small thud in the hallways, the alarmed both members, Sans reacting first, rushing out of the bed and ahead of Grillby, the two spotted Papyrus on the ground.

“I tripped,” Papyrus pushed himself up, Sans walking over to help regain his balance.

“Careful bro, your cape is pretty nice, but I don't want you tripping.” Sans picked up the large blanket, flipping it over Papyrus' head earning a groan from the younger brother.

“I can't find my scarf!” Sans looked over at Grillby, unaware of where any of their clothes had gone after he took them.

“You two want to shower before getting in your clean clothes?”

“Shower? Like a bath?” Papyrus asked excitedly and Grillby nodded with a shrug. He pointed to the room at the end of the hall and Papyrus dragged Sans over to it. It was a small bathroom, looking pretty empty minus two fluffy white towels.

“I don't use it myself, but there should be some soap in there, I don't think you'll need shampoo.”

“What's shampoo?” Papyrus asked as Sans explored the small room, opening up cabinets and twisting different knobs that all turned on the water.

“Soap for hair,” Grillby said and Papyrus nodded, watching with fascination as Sans twisted the shower knobs, touching the water with large eyes.

“Papyrus look it's warm!” Papyrus wiggled in front of Sans, sticking his hand in the water and gasping.

“Would you like a bath or shower?” Grillby asked and Sans turned, his wonderment fading into confusion and skepticism.

“Shower?” Grillby leaned over, flicking a small switch above the faucet and the two skeletons jumped back as the shower began to spray water in the bathtub.

“It's like warm rain!” Papyrus gawked, even Sans looked it over in wonder. Grillby felt concern at the children's reactions. He heard of childlike wonderment, but he had a niece, he knew she would not be nearly as impressed as these two were by a shower.

Grillby was actually concerned about everything when it came to these kids. Sans was afraid of everything and Papyrus was the exact opposite. When he had heard the rumors going around about some figures picking through trash and shadows in alleyways, he hadn't imagined they would be children. The fire element couldn't even begin to imagine that he'd have said children in his house. Grillby was still having a hard time grasping the full extent situation. With each new discovery the brother's made, the more Grillby felt distraught. Such basic things confused them and in return baffled Grillby as to how someone could be unaware of what a shower was. Grillby wondered if the children were always homeless, but judging by how skittish and over protective Sans was, the bartender would suggest they were homeless because of something else more.

“So, I'll just let you two-” The bar owner motioned between the shower and them, before walking out of the room, grabbing the door with him.

“Leave it open!” Sans grabbed onto the knob, stopping Grillby from closing it with surprising strength. “Don't look.” Sans seemed embarrassed slightly and Grillby just pointed to the bedroom and backed away. Sans turned to Papyrus who was already tugging his shirt off and climbing into the tub. He let out a content sigh as the water hit his bones and Sans smiled, looked back into the hallway before turning away from the door. He discarded the shirt as well, getting into the tub and helping Papyrus wash before allowing himself to get clean.

“I like this shower better than the waterfall baths.” Papyrus smiled, as he cupped his hands together, allowing a small amount of water to form in his hands before it began to seep past the bones.

“It is better, but Pap, you know we can't stay too long. I don't want you getting use to this.” Sans stated, a bit sad as he said it.

“Why can't we stay?” Papyrus asked, looking up at Sans.

“Because-” Sans struggled to find a reason but shook his head. He washed the last bit of soap off both of them before turning off the water and grabbing a towel. “Because we can't.” He lifted Papyrus out of the tub and set him on the ground before beginning to dry him off.

“Can we ask to stay?”

“No.”

“Can we ask to stay another day?”

“Pap.”

“Can we ask for dinner?” Sans sighed, dropping his head as he rested the towel on Papyrus' shoulder.

“Sure, bro. We can ask for dinner.” There was a small knock on the door that startled both of them. Grillby stood in the doorway, holding out their clothes. Papyrus flung himself at them, dropping the towel and Sans grabbed it to cover himself up. Although Papyrus had no shame, Sans still felt embarrassed being completely exposed.

“Sans, look!” Papyrus held up a bright red shirt and turned back to Grillby. “Is it for me?” Grillby nodded and Papyrus struggled to tug it over his excited body but hugged himself when it covered his bones. He reached down and pulled out a blue top with a light blue strip across and held it out for Sans. “Look, brother, you got one too!” Sans eyed the shirt, taking it so Papyrus could finish getting dressed.

“Where's our old clothes?” Sans held onto the shirt, not wanting to accept it.

“I have them in the other room. I figured you'd like some fitting and clean clothes rather than the other ones.”

“So you bought us new ones?”

“No, that bunny girl you saw at the bar did.” Sans frowned, but still put the shirt on and his old shorts which were now clean.

“I can't find my scarf!” Papyrus whined, looking under San's blue jacket.

“Where's his scarf?” Sans demanded.

“The red thing?” Papyrus and Sans nodded and Grillby left for a second before returning with it and handing it to Papyrus. Sans helped him wrap it around his neck before tugging on his jacket. They stood there awkwardly in silence, Papyrus looking between Sans and Grillby.

“You want some dinner?” Grillby asked, breaking the tension.

“YES!” Papyrus chirped, taking Sans' hand and tugging him out of the room. “Can we go in here?” The younger skeleton pointed to the door and Grillby nodded. Sans tried to stop his brother, but Papyrus tugged him through the door and to the now empty room.

“Sit down at the bar, I'll get you some food.” Sans stepped into the room. Papyrus let go of his brother's hand so he could go running around between the tables and chairs.

“Look at all the tables and chairs!” Papyrus pulled himself up on a chair and stepped onto the table looking proud.

“Pap, get down,” Sans said with a laugh, holding out his arms as Papyrus jumped into them. He stepped over to the wooden counter, what Sans assumed was the bar, and lifted Papyrus into a stool before pulling himself into one.

“Sans do you think he'll let us stay here?” For a price most likely, but Sans wouldn't ever voice his thoughts.

“I don't know, Pap,” Sans stated, watching as Grillby open the door and carry in two plates. He set them down in front of the two and they stared down at the food.

“What is this?” Papyrus inquired, looking it over.

“Hot dog.” Sans looked up at him with wide eyes, but Grillby just prepared two glasses of white liquid for the two and set down a red bottle between them.

“What's this?” Sans asked, pointing to the new choices.

“Ketchup and milk.” Sans reached over for the ketchup, eyes darting over to Grillby as if expecting him to react in any manner that wasn't accepting. The skeleton tipped the bottle over and squirted a small amount onto his plate, dabbing his hot dog in it before taking a bite. Papyrus reached out for the bottle and Sans helped him squirt it onto his food before squirting even more onto his own. The two devoured the two hot dogs they were given and the medium serving of fries.

“Still hungry?” They both shook their heads, but Grillby wondered if Sans would say he wasn't even if he was. He reached behind the counter and pulled out a small bag of candy handing it over to Sans. “Couldn't find that kind you were talking about.” Is all he said before the bartender went back to cleaning off the glasses.

Sans felt as if he was dropped into a pool of ice water. His body tensed, hands gripping the stool as he stared at the bag of sweets.

“Brother, what is this?” Papyrus asked, reaching out but Sans shoved it away. He flinched as the sound of the candy scattering across the bar and floor echoed in the bar. Sans panicked, jumping off of the chair and taking Papyrus with him.

There it was, the bribe, the trick. The catch was coming, the payback for all the food, clothes, everything.

“We are leaving,” Sans announced, and Grillby flamed head flickered.

“Why?” Papyrus whined tugging on Sans death grip, but Sans refused to release him.

“We've overstayed our welcome.”

“But I want the candy.” Papyrus pointed but Sans shook his head. No, he couldn't accept. He had accepted too much, he was giving in too much. He wanted to give Papyrus everything he wanted, but Sans didn't know if he could handle another Gaster again.

“Sans.” The bar owner spoke calmly, sounding softer than usual. “Please, calm down.” Grillby set the candy back down behind the bar, or what few pieces remained visible, and set the wash rag in the sink. “I know you are wary of others but please, stay here.” Sans felt overwhelmed, the terror of staying and the offer of safety and warmth battling it out. He couldn't read him!

“What do you want?” Sans snapped, trying to reason with himself. “Why do you want us to stay? Why are you being so nice? No ones this nice!”

“Brother...”

“Sans, monsters around here are nothing but kindness and generosity. I don't know what kind of trouble you were in before, but take it from the guy who knows the entire town, no one here wants to hurt you. We all just want to help.”

“W-We don't...” Sans swallowed, glancing down at Papyrus who stared up at him with concern and worry.

“I just want to help you kids out. Half the town was worried when they found out some kids were rummaging through the trash. I can't offer much, my place is pretty small, but from the looks of it, you two aren't picky.”

Sans needed to leave, he needed to leave now. The feeling of... safety? It was foreign to him. It felt too nice, safe, warm. The area was small enough so Sans didn't have to worry about watching out for Papyrus as much, maybe he could stay. Grillby had been nothing but kind and considerate towards them, and Papyrus loved him.

 

~*~

 

 _“_ _Go on take it.” Sans stared down at the piece of candy held out to him. He glanced up at the doctor, slowly reaching out to grab it, pulling it back quickly. He unwrapped the candy, popping it into his mouth. “Would you like some more?” Sans nodded and Gaster motioned for him to follow him. “Sit down here.” Sans sat and was given a candy. “Stay still.” Sans remained still and received a piece of candy. “Attack the box.” Sans attacked the box and received a reward. “Kill the creature in the box.” Sans killed the living creature inside the box and got a reward._

_As long as Sans didn't think, didn't feel, he got a reward and was happy. He just followed orders, because it's what Gaster wanted and Sans wanted nothing more than his approval and praise._

 

~*~

Sans kept shaking his head, trying to shake the thoughts away and persuade his mind to not fall for the same trap. Papyrus had shown him the joy of life. How it was wrong to do what he had done. How the sweets were a trap, how everything Gaster offered was a lie.

 

~*~

 

 _“_ _Papyrus why didn't you do attack the box?” Sans asked, confused as to why his brother was so reluctant to do as the doctor had asked. The doctor was a lot harder to please nowadays. Sans was trying his best to get the same attention he had received before, but Gaster refused to even look at Sans._

 _“_ _It was moving.”_

 _“_ _But you could have gotten a reward.”_

 _“_ _Killing is wrong.” Sans was so confused. Why did the life of some small thing matter? “Would you attack me, if he asked you too?”_

 _“_ _No, of course not!”_

 _“_ _What if that box had a brother?” Papyrus looked up at Sans. Sans suddenly felt a wave of empathy wash over him. All the creatures Gaster had him kill, did they all have families? Did they all feel like he did? Did they know they were going to die? Did they look at the smile on his face and hate him as he got something as small as a piece of candy for taking their life away?_

_Sans felt sick._

_“_ _Use your blaster on the rabbit,” Gaster ordered a bag of treats in his hand._

 _“_ _Will it hurt them?” Sans looked up at Gaster who blinked before looking down at Sans with a blank face._

 _“_ _Yes.”_

 _“_ _I-I don't want to hurt it.”_

 _“_ _Use your blaster on the rabbit, WD01S.” When Sans still didn't move Gaster used his magic to toss the rabbit into the crate, setting the bag of candy down before turning to Sans. “Never disobey me.” Gaster voice darkly. “Seems like you can't be bought with treats anymore. So how about this,” Gaster leaned against the counter, watching Sans with an almost threatening look. “Kill the rabbit or WD02P will be punished.”_

_Sans let out a whimper. Without a moment's hesitation, Sans turned to the crate, summoning a blaster and closing his eyes as he fired._

_“_ _Good.”_

 

_~*~_

 

 _“_ Brother?” Sans snapped out of his memory, feeling tears trickle down his face. He quickly wiped them away, sniffing as he released Papyrus to wipe at his tear away faster.

“Papyrus, do you mind giving Sans and I a moment?” Grillby asked, closer than Sans remembered, but he had spaced out for a bit. Papyrus nodded, ready to move, but San grabbed him, pulling him back.

 

~*~

 

_“ No, you stay.” Gaster shoved Sans back into the room._

_“ But Papyrus-” Gaster's eyes flickers and a force slapped Sans, shoving him back into the room, causing him to fall over with a cry. Papyrus rushed over, kneeling down next to him._

_“ WD02P, come.”_

_“ Not without Sans!” Gaster was becoming impatient. In seconds, the doctor's magic was wrapped around Papyrus, dragging him out of the room, screaming out for his brother. Sans could do nothing but watch helplessly as the door closed, silencing the screams._

 

~*~

 

“No! He stays with me.” Sans growled and Grillby sighed. This damn kid had his defenses up and was refusing to budge.

“Sans, I want to talk to you, he will be right over there. But I think you want to talk privately, no?” Sans eased up on his grip.

“I'll be on the bed, Sans. Don't worry!” Papyrus smiled up at his brother, but it gave him no real comfort. Sans didn't feel like he had a choice, though, and slowly he released Papyrus, watching him walk off behind the door.

“On the bed,” Sans called out, and Papyrus gave him a thumbs up before retreating behind the door. He was fine, on the bed. Safe.

“Sans, I won't force you to do or talk about anything you don't want to do.” Grillby started, bending down to be at Sans height. “I don't want to make you uncomfortable or try to be some parental figure in your life. I just want to help.” Sans fiddled with the zipper of his jacket, trying to ease his nerves. “It's hard raising Papyrus by yourself, isn't it?” Sans nodded and Grillby finally felt like he was getting somewhere. “Yeah, I have a little niece and she was once your age. I only had to babysit her for a week, but man was that challenging. I can't imagine being as great of a brother as you have been.” Sans burrowed a bit in his hood, trying to hide his expression.

Although Grillby's gaze wasn't nearly as terrifying as the doctor's, Sans still felt like he needed to respond and react to the questions given to him, like he was trained to. Especially with Papyrus no longer by his side. The skeleton tried to calm himself down by reminding himself that Papyrus was safe, but without his brother in his sight, he was never really sure.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” Sans didn't respond. “Any family? Friends?”

“Papyrus only has me.”

“And who do you have?”

“All I care about is Papyrus.”

“Sans, do you want to stay here?” Sans glanced around the bar. Of course, he did, this was the best place he had ever stayed in. “What about this place makes you so nervous?”

“Why are you so nice?” Sans asked, not liking Grillby's questions.

“Because I like to help people.”

“I-” Sans mulled over his words for a moment. “I don't know any nice monsters.” Grillby wondered how it was even possible for a monster to be mean. A bit aggressive, maybe, but mean? “What do you want from us? I can do whatever you want but don't touch Papyrus.” Sans trembled slightly, his white pupils darting between Grillby and the floor. Grillby felt oddly sickened by the comment, what had these two been through? “Papyrus wants to stay here, it makes him happy and that's all I care about. You can give him a bed, and food, and warm clothes. I-I want to give him the world, I don't care what you want me to do or do to me, but I just want Papyrus to be happy.” Sans felt himself begin to tear up again, but he felt so defeated.

He'd do it all again. Sans would allow the monster to do whatever he wanted to him. Hit him, inject him with anything, cut him open, anything as long as Papyrus was happy. Sans feared a repeat of Gaster, it made Sans nauseous to even think about repeating that once more, but he would. Sans was broken, his spirit dying and fading. If Grillby turned out to be another doctor like Gaster, Sans wasn't sure if he could stay alive for Papyrus. The skeleton would just be an empty shell like he felt when his brother was not with him.

“Sans...” Grillby sighed, reaching out gently to rest a hand on the child's shoulder. “Sans, all I want you to do is to be safe and happy. Does this place make you happy?” Sans nodded. “Do you want to stay here?” Sand nodded. “Then stay.” Sans let out a sob and Grillby pulled him into a hug.

“Y-You won't do anything? N-No injections? No experiments? No tests?” Grillby rubbed Sans shaking back.

“None of that. I just want you two to be happy.”

“I'll stay, just-just don't hurt Papyrus.” Sans sobbed into Grillby's vest as the bartender said nothing, only rubbing San's back in hopes of calming him down.

Grillby wanted to say that after his talk with Sans, the skeleton was easier to be around, but he remained the same, to be honest. He was less watchful of Papyrus, no longer skeptical of everything offered to him, but he still wouldn't allow the bar owner to help Papyrus out with clothes or showers, and never allowed the two to be alone in a room. Even at night, when the three squeezed into the large bed, Grillby no longer wanting to sleep in odd places around the bar, Sans slept next to Grillby, back facing him as he cuddled with Papyrus. He was getting easier to be around, though, and Grillby was taking every small step forward he could get. Whether it be a laugh or a smile, in just four days, Sans was no longer a feral cat but more of an asshole house cat who would only allow you to get near them if they wanted it. Meanwhile, Papyrus remained the lovable puppy, only turning into the excitable puppy when he was awake.

The small town soon became aware of Grillby's new guests, but the skeleton brothers very rarely, (in fact, only two times in total) left the bar during daylight or during busy hours. Papyrus was eager to go out and explore, but as always, Sans was reluctant and found new ways of entertaining Papyrus to distract him from the outside world.

“I want to go outside today.” Papyrus stood up on the bed, peering outside at the fresh snow that littered the ground.

“Why don't we play a game instead?”

“I want to see the pretty tree.” Papyrus allowed Sans to pick him up, setting him down onto the ground.

“We can see it tonight.”

“It's never on when you want to leave.”

“I'm not opening up today, we can all head out,” Grillby said from behind the two.

“But you're always open, why are you not opening up?” Sans questioned and Grillby handed Papyrus his red scarf.

“I take Sunday's off, got to take some time off for myself. This week I'll be taking a few days off because of Christmas.” Sans and Papyrus exchanged a look of confusion.

“What's Christmas?” Sans asked, sliding his jacket on.

“Does it have to do with the pretty lights?”

“Yeah, it's a... well, come on, I'll show you.” Grillby moved over to the door, pulling a scarf off the hook by the back door and holding it out to Sans. He took it from Grillby and wrapped it around his neck. Papyrus reach out, grabbing onto Grillby's warm hand and jumped excitedly around. The fire element offered his hand to Sans, who to everyone's surprise, took it.

“Is it safe?” Sans asked when Grillby held open the door for the two with his foot. Sans was very reluctant to go out. He always saw how many monsters were outside and how active they all were and it made him anxious. With Grillby though, Sans felt a little safer than he would normally. It gave him the push forward, he needed to be brave enough to allow Papyrus outside for once.

“Perfectly safe.”

“You okay Pap?” Sans questioned once they stepped outside. “Not cold?”

“Lights! Lights! Tree! Tree!” Papyrus chanted, making far too much of a scene for Sans. Grillby walked out of the back alleyway, stepping into the street. Papyrus let out a gasp as he spotted all the people and decoration around, Sans shrunk behind Grillby, already regretting his choice. Papyrus seemed to be in control of the situation, for the most part, tugging Grillby around the corner to the festive tree in the center of the town while Sans gripped tightly on the bar owner's hand.

“Grillby!” A woman cried out and the elder brother ducked away from the voice, tugging Grillby awkwardly so the brother could get closer to Papyrus if need be. “Finally letting the new residence out?” The bunny girl from before walked over, stopping a few feet away from the three. Papyrus waved cheerfully.

“Showing them around town, they can be a bit shy.” Grillby squeezed Sans hand a little.

“Well, I'm glad the town can finally meet the new little ones. Everyone can't wait to see them, haven't had a new face in ages.”

“I'm Papyrus!” The younger skeleton blurted out.

“Hello Papyrus, I'm Bonnie!” Bonnie stuck out her hand and Papyrus shook it. Bonnie glanced at Sans who was peeking out from behind Grillby's leg. “And what's your name?”

“This is my brother Sans!” Papyrus latched onto his brother's arm and pulled him out.

“Pap...” Sans mumbled and Bonnie laughed.

“I see what you mean Grill, this one is pretty shy. I remember you though Sans, glad you aren't as nervous as before.” Bonnie winked at Sans and he blushed, tugging Papyrus back behind Grillby.

This town was so friendly, too friendly. Everyone seemed to be eager to get to know the two new locals, Papyrus introducing both of the brothers while Grillby tried his best to escape conversations before Sans tore through his clothes with his grip. Sans managed to open up only when people started to head back inside. Fortunately for the three, Papyrus wanted to stay out later to look at the tree in the night.

“Papyrus come here!” Sans grinned, Papyrus dropped the snow he was holding and rushed over to Sans who pointed up at the tree. “Look on top.” Papyrus looked up, frowning a bit as he struggled to see. Sans chuckled to himself, placing his brother on his shoulders.

“Wowie! It's so bright!” Papyrus' arms tightened around Sans' head, covering his eyes slightly with his puffy jacket sleeves. Grillby glowed warmly in the distance, smoking by the bushes. The two were adorable, there's no denying that. The brothers were radiating this happy aura, playing around the tree and staring at the flashing, colorful lights. Grillby finished his smoke, stomping it out before going back to watch the brothers who were now rolling a large snowball.

“Bigger!” Papyrus shouted, pushing his own ball of snow along with his brother.

“Not too big, we need to get them on top,” Sans told Papyrus who just nodded, giving up on the ball he rolled and starting on a different one. He attempted to lift it up and it crumbled in his arms.

“Sans, I can't lift it!” Papyrus reformed what Grillby assumed would be the head of the snowman and let out a groan when it broke again. Grillby would offer his help, but his naturally warm body heat could only go so low and that was still too hot for the snow. “Sans, you lift it!” Sans, opened his mouth to protest, glancing back at Grillby who watched them with interest.

“Okay, stand back a bit.” Sans waved his hand, and Papyrus hopped back a few steps, smiling. Sans stole one last look at Grillby before taking his hand out of his jacket, a soft blue glow surrounded the large balls of snow and Sans' fingertip. The body and head were lifted up, stacking on top of each other before the glow vanished and Sans' hand returned to his pocket. Sans took a step back, looking it over before Papyrus sprang back into action.

“Watch brother, watch!” Papyrus stood in front of the snowman, legs spread apart and hand raised slightly. He scrunched up his face and Grillby took a step forward, investing in the children's snow creation. Sans looked both anxious and pleased as Papyrus raised his hands higher, two bones appeared out of nowhere but Papyrus held them out. “I did it!!!” Papyrus cheered, spinning around, but stumbled over his legs, falling forward about to crash into the snowman. Sans hands shot out of his pocket, eyes glowing brightly and blue heart appeared, almost transparent in Papyrus' chest. Sans let out a sigh of relief, moving his hand as he set Papyrus down in the snow gently.

“Be careful, Pap.” Sans' warned, heart and magic vanishing as his hands retreated to his pockets.

“Sorry brother, but look!” Papyrus gave him a guilty smile, lifting up the bones and Sans smiled.

“Nice job Pap. You're getting great at it.” Papyrus stuck the bones into the snowman like two arms.

“I'll be as great as you one day!” Sans let out a laugh, rubbing Papyrus' skull.

“Glad you two are able to protect yourself, not a lot of monsters can do magic,” Grillby said catching their attention.

“Sans is great at magic! He teaches me all sorts of cool stuff!” Papyrus gloated and Sans seemed uncomfortable. “He can do all sorts of magic like summons bones and teleport and-” Sans pulled Papyrus back, covering his mouth.

“No one likes a show-off, bro.” Sans joked, forcing a smile. Grillby was aware Sans had some magic in him, the one trash night popping into his head as Sans blinked away. He had a lot more magic than anyone Grillby knew in the town at least for his age. Most monsters only being able to do a few quick tricks, but Sans appeared to be more than a one-trick pony.

“Want to head back to the bar? We can come back out tomorrow.” Papyrus was not pleased by having to go but agreed to anyway only when Sans promised they could come out tomorrow. Sans walked with Papyrus hand in hand and Grillby walked a few steps ahead. The youngest one leaned on the eldest brother, smiling as they walked.

“I love this place, brother. It feels warm.” Sans nodded, tightening his hold on his brother's hand.

“I like it too, Pap,” Sans admitted, Papyrus smile grew slightly.

“Do you think we'll stay here?” Sans nodded a bit, burrowing his face in the scarf he was given.

“If you want. We can go anywhere you want, bro.”

“I want to stay here, with Grillby and you!”

“You're stuck with me no matter what. I'd get so bonely without you.” Papyrus giggled and nudged Sans with his shoulder.

“Jeez, kid, that was bad.” Grillby snorted, amused.

“I don't snow, I thought it was pretty n-ice.” Sans grinned, earning another loud laugh from Papyrus as Grillby just shook his head, amused more by the children's happiness than Sans' terrible puns.


	3. Jumpy

“Can I go out and play with the kids?” Papyrus asked out loud, peering out from the bar window. Sans was sitting at the table, eating his meal a lot slower than Papyrus.

Having just gone out two days ago, Papyrus was eager to go out again. Without Grillby, Sans refused to allow himself to give into his brother's demands despite it killing him inside. 

“I don't know if that's a good idea,” Sans said hesitantly and Papyrus whined, wiping the fog off the window.

“But you let me hang out with them yesterday.” Sans frowned. He had but that was only because Grillby was with him, and there were a lot fewer monsters about.

“Maybe later.”

“They won't be out later.”

“Fine, okay, let me just-” Sans made a move to discard his half eaten burger, but Papyrus jumped off of the chair and dashed over, stopping him.

“No, you stay here and eat!” Sans let out a snort.

“And you go out by yourself? No.”

“You can watch from the window!” Papyrus pointed, the kids were practically playing right outside the bar. “You can come out when you are done,” Papyrus smiled, his cheerful face not completely persuading the elder skeleton.

“Pap, I'd feel better if-”

 “Please!” Papyrus begged, holding onto Sans' arm, a familiar warmth of orange magic traveling through Sans' body, calming him down enough to see clearly. There was no danger, not that he could see. The skeleton had observed everyone enough to know who could or could not be a threat, and although one kid did have a horn on his head, it wasn't sharp enough to damage Papyrus.

“You're playing dirty...Okay.” Sans agreed, glancing back at Grillby who was busy in the back, preparing for the lunch rush due in thirty minutes.

“Thank you, brother!” Papyrus squealed, hugging Sans, his magic almost overwhelming Sans, melting away his concern and worry like-well, like magic. Papyrus slid on his jacket and ran out the door, rushing over to the kids who greeted him warmly. Sans moved his plate and drink to the table closest to the window, peering out. The skeleton stared, trying his best not to be too obvious with it as he finished his burger, sliding the plate away when he was done.

“All done?” Grillby voiced, startling Sans and causing him to fall back in his chair. Sans let out a small grunt as his back hit the floor, head bouncing off the wall. “Shit- Crap! Sans you okay?” Grillby pushed the chair aside and reached out to Sans. The skeleton flinched away, quick to get to his feet, stumbling slightly as he did so.

It now dawned on him that the elder brother was now all alone with Grillby. Despite the fire element's best effort to try to help make Sans feel safer and more relaxed, Sans could not just trust the bartender. He had been alone with Grillby before, but never without Papyrus in the next room. Being the only two in the bar, Sans felt cornered and isolated. Regardless of what Sans had witnessed when around Grillby, he could not convince his doubt to listen to reason.

“I'm fine, sorry. I didn't mean to.” Sans eyes were cast down and Grillby was taken back by the new demeanour. No threat, no jokes, just-…fear? Why was the kid acting like this so suddenly?

“Sans, it's fine. It was my fault, I shouldn't have startled you.” Grillby spoke softly, hoping it would ease Sans nerves. “Are you alright? You seem kind of jumpy?” Sans just nodded, hands clenched tightly in his jacket sleeves. His eyes looked up onto the plate on the table and he hastily collected his dishes. The skeleton messed up, not the worst mistake he made, but still a careless one. He needed to quickly make amends for what he has done before Grillby got angry.

“I-I'll wash these,” Sans spoke, thankful for the distraction and quick escape. The brother wasn't thankful for the bottle of ketchup he had knocked over unknowingly during his blunder. The bottle of ketchup Grillby saw too late and Sans felt the bottle under his foot as he pressed down. The cap flew off under the pressure, shooting to the other side of the bar, a blast of ketchup exploding in its path. Sans slipped on the crushed bottle, dishes flying out of his hands as he face-planted the ground. Sans let out a whimper, fingers digging into the floor below as he heard the plate and glass shatter.

Sans lifted his head, staring with wide, scared eyes at the shattered dishes. Sans felt as if his magic had stopped, he was unable to breathe, unable to move. His eyes staring down at the small scratch the shattered glass made on the wood in front of him.

Sans has made a mistake. First, he fell and almost broke the chair because he was being careless and now he actually broke two dishes and scratched the bar floor because he was a failure. Sans wanted to cry, scream, run, but he couldn't. He wasn't allowed to. No noise. No moving. Remain still, silent, or else Papyrus would get it.

 

 ~*~ 

_It was an accident. Anyone who would have seen it happen would have been aware of the fact that Sans had not meant to trip. The robe string tripped him, wrapping around one of his toes and causing him to fall forward and stumble into the tray of surgical tools. The tray fell onto the ground, tools scattering and glass breaking, the cart was_ __shot forward and crashed into Gaster, startling the doctor, his clipboard clattering loudly against the counter as he dropped it. Sans was rendered immobilized by fear, eyes wide and foot still caught in the string as he watched Gaster face. The doctor gazed down at his now messy, unorganized counter, turning slightly to look over the scattered and broken tools before locking onto Sans. The skeleton felt himself shrink away, eyes cast down, shaking, his foot untangling and dropping to the ground with a small thump._ _

_“I-I'm so-” Sans_   _was cut _off by Gaster's dark purple magic wrapping around his neck, lifting him off of the ground and into the air. The doctor’s face held no emotion, but his eyes were dark, one of his_  eyes  _flickering as the magic tightened around Sans.__

 _“ **Pick**_ ****_**it** _****_**up.** __” Gaster demanded, speaking in the tongue Sans knew too well. The skeleton was dropped to the ground, biting back a small sob as he quickly scrambled to his hand and knees. The experiment picked up the tray, placing the tools onto it as he had recalled, scooping up the few pieces of shattered glass and placing it on as well as best as he could. He almost fell again, picking up the tray due to how badly his entire body was shaking, the tools on the tray rattling with his bones. Sans_ _set _it back onto the cart, wheeling it to where it once was and waited, hands linked together in front of him, head bowed.__

_“ **What happened there, 01S?** ” Gaster inquired, motioning one of his hands to the robe._

_“I-I got_ c _-caught,” Sans responded, voice barely loud enough for the doctor to hear._

_“ **How did you get caught on the robe?** ”_

_“It w-wrapped around my toe.” Gaster slammed his hand down on the counter, Sans unable to control the terrified shriek he let out, cowering away._ _Gaster _raised his hand, folding them together once more in front of him, watching Sans.__

__ _“ **How did you get caught on the robe?** ” Gaster repeated and Sans whimpered, glancing back at the robe as if it had the correct answer._

_“I-”_

_“ **You got caught because you were not paying attention.** ” The doctor answered, Sans nodding his head in agreement. “ **Why did you get caught on the robe?** ”_

_“B-Because I wasn't paying attention?” Gaster stepped closer to Sans, eyes narrowing._

_“ **Because you were being careless.** ” The scientist pointed to the shattered glass on the tray_ _“ **If I were to ask you to put together this broken object, would you be able to?** ” Sans swallowed, eyes dancing between the scientist and glass._

_“N-No.” Can't lie, can't get caught. He had to tell the truth, even if it ended up killing him._

_“ **Why?** ” Gaster's voice was menacing, giving Sans no time to answer his question. “ **Because you are a failure. Do you**_ _ **not** _****_**retain any of the information I give?**_ _ **Are all days I spent training you just a massive waste of my valuable time?** _****_**At the end of the day, do you not learn anything? You seem to be slipping 01S. Perhaps you aren't as perfect as I had thought you were.** __” The doctor turned away, walking over to the open blue folder with Sans' label on it and closed it, pulling out the orange one with_ _Papyrus' name _on it, opening it up.__

 _“_ _no. _..” Sans whispered, inaudible to anyone.__

 _“Do you know why I made WD02P?” Gaster asked, flipping ideally through the folder, no longer speaking in Wing Ding. “For this exact moment.” Gaster stopped, glancing behind him at the shaking skeleton. “To replace you, when you failed me. When you became nothing more than wasted time.” Gaster lied as he strolled over to the case he brings in every day. He flicked open the latches and pulled out a needle and a small bottle of bright red liquid Sans was all_ _too _familiar with.__

_Sans _had been getting injected for a few days now, each day more painful than the last. The skeleton knew he was going to get another injection today, having recovered slightly from the one before. However, the doctor’s attitude and tone intimidated Sans, thinking more was to come.__

_“I'd have to catch him up pretty quickly,” Gaster stated almost casually as he looked over the injection needles. “I'll have to work him twice as hard. There will be no time for resting or recovery.” The doctor held up one of the average sized shots, looking over the small size label before setting it down on the counter. “How much DT has been injected into you, 01S?” Gaster pulled out a black marker, holding up the container of red liquid._

_“_ _. _20ml...” Sans answered and Gaster hummed, popping the cap off and marking it with the marker.__

 _“Two weeks and only_ _._ 2 _ _0\. I'll have to at least double the dose to catch up.” Gaster stated, and Sans shivered._ _Double the dosage? When Sans had first been given his injection he nearly died and that was barely a few drops. It had taken two_  agonizingly _painful weeks to get Sans up to his level. To think the doctor_  wanted  _to make that happen in one week and to Papyrus?_  Sans  _wanted to be sick._ _“Do you think he could handle your dosage?” Sans looked up, Gaster had already prepared his usual amount, .5ml, and was looking it over. “You could barely handle half of this just a few days ago. Seems like you adapt quickly, as I had planned. Perhaps, 02P can take this amount on his first go?”__

_“No!” Sans yelped, covering his mouth quickly, tears threatening to spill. No, no, Papyrus couldn't-he couldn't take that much. Sans wasn't even able to stay conscious during his injections. Papyrus would-_

_“No?” Gaster raised and his eye_ _bone _. Sans squeezed his eyes shut, nodding his head.__

 _“H-He can't. I-I can, I can do it. I'll t-take it. I'll never mess up again. I'll never be careless again. I promise!” Sans voice grew more desperate with each promise he knew he couldn't keep._

_However, that didn't matter to Gaster._ _Gaster _just wanted to watch Sans' will break. Being around_  Papyrus so  _much had made his experiment soft, forgetful, and lazy. The doctor had a way to make sure Sans never misbehaved. As long as Papyrus was around, Sans was wrapped around the doctor's finger, easily broken and manipulated to his will._  Gaster  _just needed to hear it, to see it, to watch Sans shake and tremble, scared, hopeless, broken, but alive and fighting to remain so._  Gaster  _could care less about the worthless emotions he caused Sans to feel. Pain, sadness, panic, they were nothing to him. They were ways of making Sans cooperate and that's all Gaster needed.__

 _The scientist knew right away that Papyrus was a failure._  G _aster _observed how Sans reacted around the useless experiment and the scientist saw a new side of him. Sans was no longer easily won over and was acting as a child, a spoiled one at that. The doctor's prized specimen was slipping out of his fingers and Gaster was furious. In a state of anger and frustration the scientist had threatened 02P, knowing how fond the skeleton had grown_  of  _him and to Gaster's surprise, Sans returned to his normal, obedient self. The doctor now saw Papyrus in a whole new light. Papyrus was worthless to test on but perfect for making sure Sans remained broken and loyal until Gaster's research was complete.__

 _“Perhaps, you are not as useless as you have shown me today.” Gaster closed the orange folder, watching as Sans relaxed, a wave of relief washing over him. “But now you must make up for lost time.” Gaster punctured the bottle of Determination once more, sucking up more of the bright red liquid inside._ _Gaster _turned back around, barely able to hold back the wicked smile on his face as he saw Sans already laying on the table, limbs resting in the open restraints, ready to take whatever Gaster gave to him.__

 _“How about we try seven today?” Gaster set the injection down, strapping Sans down to the table before picking the needle back up and pressing down on the record button. “ **Subject WD01S,**_ ****_**point** _****_**seven** _****_**millilitres** _****_**of determination, two above the previous three injections.** __” Gaster lined up the needle, Sans shivering as the needle scrapped his bone. “ **If successful, attempt to speed up the determination process. Will be confirmed and completion of**_ ****_**the** _****_**WD** _****_**series** _****_**will be finished by the time the machine is ready.** __” Gaster let a smile break out across his face as he glanced down at Sans._

 _“ **How much DT do you believe you are capable of handling today?** ” Gaster asked Sans, who looked over the needle._ _Sans _didn't feel as if he could handle seven if he was honest. He was barely able to walk with five, he feared he wouldn't be able to move after this injection, but that's not what the scientist wanted to hear._  Gaster  _didn't want to hear what Sans could and could not take. No, Gaster didn't like limitations, he thrived on surpassing them. Whatever Sans said wouldn't matter, for Gaster would test him, push him to death, but the thought of Papyrus' strapped down to the table, taking over Sans place always brought him back.__

_“ **I can handle anything you want.** ” Sans voiced, trembling at the wicked grin spreading across Gaster's face._

_“ **Good. Then perhaps after this injection,** ” Gaster pressed down, Sans clenching his teeth together. “_ **_W_** _ **e can add three more.** __” Gaster pierced the bone and Sans felt the burn instantly, unable to control his body as he screamed out._

 

~*~

 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!” Sans repeated, clutching his skull, eye sockets empty of life, tears streaming down his face. Grillby rushed over, getting no response from the skeleton as he approached.

“Sans? Sans, hey, sh-please, what's wrong?” Grillby’s voice was soft, afraid to raise it any higher.

“I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just don't hurt him. He can't take it. I'm sorry. He can't handle it. I'll do anything, everything, whatever you want. Don't hurt him, please. I'm sorry.” Grillby's words fell on deaf ears. Sans shook in the curled up position, unable to stop his rambling. 

“Sans, please, listen to me-”

“I'm sorry. I'm a failure. I'm sorry. I'm careless. I'm sorry. I'm useless. I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want. Anything. He can't-” Grillby reach out, grabbing onto Sans who violently flinched away, his apologies coming out faster, more panicked as he tried to escape Grillby's hold.

“Sans please just-”

“I'm sorry! Don't hurt him! I'M SORRY!” Sans eyes squeezed shut, hands pressing so hard against his skull it was throbbing, feeling as if it would crack in half. The memories fading and were replaced with the burn of the determination in his bones. He let out a loud scream, one that had Grillby scared beyond belief, almost dropping Sans due to fright.

The bar door flung open, Papyrus looked terrified as he spotted Sans screaming in Grillby's arms.

 “Brother!” Papyrus cried out running over, yanking his brother away from Grillby, pressing him tightly against his jacket, eyes as tightly closed as Sans. “Sans, please, brother, it's okay.” Papyrus cooed, the faintest orange aura radiating off of his body. One hand pressed over where Sans' soul was located, the other cradling his torso against the younger brother's body.

Grillby watched, as Sans' screams eased up, fading into a panicked voice, whimper, and then heavily breathing before returning to deep and calm breaths. Papyrus did not ease up on his hold, though the glow faded from his body, remaining only on his hands. The younger skeleton rested his head against his brother's, whispering softly to him regardless of whether or not Sans could hear him.

Grillby had no time to question Papyrus about the outbreak. His bar door was thrown open once more as Dogamy and Dogaressa stood, eyes wide and alert. There was no doubt in Grillby's mind that all of Snowdin had heard Sans' screams. Now, the bartender had to explain why the kid was screaming bloody murder and is now unconscious with broken plates and ketchup a surrounding him. Grillby sighed, far too emotionally exhausted to deal with the interrogation he knew was coming.

 “Step away from the children,” Dogaressa demanded, axe banging against the floor. Grillby lifted his hands up, slowly rising and taking a few steps back.

“Who was screaming? Was it him?” Dogamy pointed to Sans, Papyrus turning away slightly. “Grillby, explain yourself right now!” 

“Okay, please, just calm down you are scaring-”

“He didn't do anything!” Papyrus shouted, orange glow no longer on his hands. “Grillby didn't do anything, it wasn't his fault!” The dogs exchanged a look, resting their weapons against the wall. Dogaressa smiled at Papyrus, stepping closer and kneeling down as Dogamy went around, closing the curtain and locking the door so the nosey people of Snowdin could not eavesdrop.

“What is your name, little one?” Dogaressa asked, a lot sweeter than before.

“Papyrus,” The younger skeleton answered, shuffling his hold on his brother, “This is Sans. He's my brother.”

“My name is Dogaressa and this is my husband Dogamy. We are members of the royal guard. We heard a scream and came to investigate. We want to make sure that you and your brother are okay and safe.”

“We are! My brother is fine. It wasn't Grillby's fault!”

“I believe you, little pup,” Dogaressa assured, Papyrus easing up a bit. “We need to make sure, though.” Dogaressa looks over at Grillby. “Is there a place to let them rest at while we talk?” Grillby nodded and walked over to Papyrus and Sans, picking both of the children up.

“Can you stay with your brother for a few minutes, Papyrus?”

“Will you be okay?”

“I will be fine. I just need to explain to the guards what happened. I need you to watch over your brother until I'm done, alright?” Papyrus nodded and Grillby carried them off to the backroom. He sat them down on the bed, tucking Sans in before heading back out to the dogs.

“I never knew you had children, Grillby,” Dogamy reported, sitting down at their usual table next to Dogaressa.

“They-… It's a long story. Would you like something to drink?”

“No, we are fine. Please, sit.” Dogamy motioned to the open seat and Grillby sat down, folding his hands together.

“Perhaps you could start by explaining your new house guests,” Dogaressa suggested and Grillby nodded.

“You recall the rumours going around about a week ago? The ones about people seeing shadows in alleyways and someone picking through trash?” The dogs nodded and Grillby tilted his head a bit in the direction of the door. “That's them." 

“The children?” They barked, eyes locking onto the door.

“Yeah, found in my trash twice. I was never able to get close, though. Sans is very protective of Papyrus. He wouldn't let me touch either of them or take any of my offered food. He came to my door couple days ago begging me to help Papyrus who was pretty sick. Of course, I let them in, helped them out and well, now they are just here.”

“Just here? I don't understand. Do they not have parents? A family? Why were they on the streets?” Dogaressa interrogated, Dogamy resting a paw on her arm to calm her down.

“I don't know. They never talk about them, actively avoid the topic, to be honest. Papyrus seems to be unaware of anything but Sans he-… wherever they came from, it was bad. Sans is overly protective of Papyrus like I said. He won't allow him to eat food without making sure it is okay, refused to let him take medicine without testing it first, and won't allow me near him if he isn't around. Both of them, though, look like they both were living under some rock their entire lives. Sans didn't know what a clock was, what letters or numbers were, they both didn't know that a shower was. I don't think either of them can read even though Sans said he could. The two get amazed at the smallest thing. They kept asking me about Christmas and what it was and why there are lights and decorations, and I tried to explain but they only ended up more confused. I had to go into detail about what a gift was, why we give them, what the box was for and why we wrap them. Every small detail and they were just flabbergasted!”

“That's terrible, something is definitely not right here,” Dogamy mumbled, rubbing his muzzle.

“They were sheltered, hidden away even. If Sans is as overprotective as you claim, there may definitely have been some form of abuse in the past. The children, how do they act? Are they skittish or easily scared?”

“Papyrus is like any other child. Minus the lack of general knowledge, he is happy and cheerful. Sans is a different story. He kind of... acts differently depending on whether or not Papyrus is around him. If they are together Sans is calm and usually happy, very alert, though. He is always making sure he knows where his brother is at and gets very panicked and upset if he's not near him. If you try to get near Papyrus or ask him personal questions he gets very defensive. He has built these walls around him and in Papyrus' presence, he is a fortress. When Papyrus is away, though, he breaks. Normally, before today at least, he was just scared. It was almost like talking to someone who was painfully shy, but instead of nerves, it was fear. He would hardly look at me, voice low, always crying almost. Whenever he started to panic, I'd try to calm him down, but he'd just start crying, begging me to not hurt Papyrus. He kept saying over and over that he'd do anything I wanted if I just didn't hurt Papyrus. I just-” Grillby let out a sigh, stomach twisting in rage and empathy. He ran his hands over his face, setting his glasses down on the table.

“Something terrible has happened to these children, to Sans. He asked me why I was so nice, why I was doing all these things for them. He kept expecting some sort of punishment to come. He told me he didn't care what I did to him, just asked if I could not harm Papyrus and let them stay here. He told me I could do whatever I wanted, he had just given up.”

“Do you suspect some type of sexual abuse?” Dogamy asked Dogaressa who looked furious at the thought.

“No!” Grillby proclaimed, his loud voice startling the dogs. “God no, nothing like that! He said something about injection, experiments, tests! Sans has marks all over his body, but he never allowed me to look too closely at them. They had to have come from some horrific experimentation environment or something like that.”

“But where? No doctor or scientist would be able to get away with this. The king wouldn't allow this to happen in his section either. Nobody would do this. There has never been an incident this horrific since the first human's fall.” Dogaressa exclaimed, but quickly shook her head, ear flapping around. “No, wait, Grillby, why was the child screaming. What happened?”

“Papyrus went outside to go play with the children and Sans stayed inside. I accidentally startled him and he fell back in the chair and knocked over the bottle of ketchup. I tried to make sure he was okay, but he was so shaken up. He apologized and went to go wash his plate when he stepped on the ketchup bottle and well that happened.” Grillby pointed to the red mess of covering his bar. “He slipped and fell and then that happened.” Grillby pointed to the broken glass he really needed to clean. “Then, he just… stopped moving.” Grillby looked down at the table, recalling the incident vividly. “Then, he started to shake and then started apologizing. He kept saying he was sorry and not to hurt Papyrus and that he was useless and just these terrible things. I went over to hold him, but he started screaming and then Papyrus came in. He calmed Sans down and then you two showed up. I don't know what happened, but he does this thing where he just spaces out. His eyes go dark and he looked like he is about to have some panic attack but-”

“He gets them a lot.” All three turned to the sound of the voice. Papyrus stood, poking out from behind the door, looking concerned.

“Is everything alright?” Grillby questioned, sliding his glasses back on.

“Yes, Sans is still asleep.”

“How much did you hear, young one?” Dogaressa asked.

“Only the last bit. Sans gets them a lot, the attacks.”

“Attacks?” The three ask and Papyrus made his way over to Grillby, the bartender picking him up when the skeleton held his arms out to him.

“That's what I call them. Sometimes he gets very scared, a lot of the times at night or if he doesn't know where I am. He gets all shaky and sometimes screams. He says stuff sometimes, but he doesn't like talking about it. Sans said it was just bad nightmares.” Papyrus moved over to the last open stool.

“How long has this been happening, Papyrus?” Dogamy asked and Papyrus shrugged, fiddling with his scarf.

“It's always been like this. I can help him, though. Sans is always helping me out, he's a great brother. Now I can help him and I do, or at least try too. Sometimes it doesn't work. Sans said I help him, though.”

“What doesn't work?” 

“My magic. It helps Sans calm down.” Papyrus lifted his bony hand, and everyone watched as it began to glow a soft orange.

“They can do magic?” Dogaressa asked, shocked.

“Sans is better than me! He can do all sorts of magic! My brother can do anything!” Papyrus grinned, enjoying being able to brag about how amazing his brother was. The grin faded a bit, though, as the skeleton looking down at his scarf. “He doesn't like talking about it, though. Sometimes his eye changes colour and it's really scary. He gets really upset when that happens so he doesn't use his magic a lot.” The dogs exchanged a look no one else could read.

“Papyrus, can we ask you some questions?” Papyrus nodded, his normal cheerful gaze returning.

“You and your brother, how long have you two been together?”

“Forever! My brother was with me for as long as I can remember! Sans said he raised me all by himself!”

“That's really amazing, raising a child is a lot of work. Had anyone ever helped him?”

“No, brother doesn't like other monsters a lot. He said they aren't nice and can't be trusted, but I think everyone is nice, even if it's just a little bit.”

 “That's an amazing view on life, Papyrus. Was there anyone you ever knew that was mean to you guys?” Papyrus thought it over and shook his head.

 “No, never! I don't think monsters can be mean, but Sans said anyone can be mean.”

 “Papyrus, I want to ask you something about before you lived here with Grillby. You do not have to answer if you don't want to. I won't force you to say anything you aren't comfortable with.” Dogaressa stated, making sure Papyrus confirmed he was okay before continuing. “Where did you and your brother live before you came here?”

“Me and Sans lived everywhere outside! My brother took me all over the place. Sans said we were going to find some great place eventually and he was right!” Papyrus smiled, looking up at Grillby.

“He was indeed. Did you always live outside?” Dogaressa questioned, happy Papyrus was so willing to talk.

 “Yeah, Sans said he raised me in the waterfalls.”

“Do you two only have each other, no parents?”

“Parents?” Papyrus asked, confused and shook his head. “I don't know what that is. Me and Sans only ever had each other. Sans said it was always just the two of us.” Grillby glanced over at the two guards, sharing the same look. A pattern seemed to be forming.

“Did Sans grow up in the waterfalls too? Surely someone had to take care of him.”

 “Sans doesn't talk about it. He said it didn't matter and it upset him when I asked, so I don't.”

 A definite pattern. Sans said. He said. My brother said. Dogaressa kept asking questions and Papyrus answered always by stating his opinion first, followed by whatever Sans said to him. It was growing obvious as Papyrus' answers slowly got less opinionated and started to become 'Sans said-…' or 'Sans doesn't like to talk about it'. It was clear that Papyrus knew nothing, all his information was given to him by Sans, who was clearly hiding something from him. Questioning Papyrus was pointless, he'd only tell the guards what Sans wanted everyone to know. Papyrus talked away about the waterfalls, their street lives, even about some of his magic, but when it came to anything prior to that it was all about Sans.

 “Papyrus, are you sure you haven't been anywhere else? Maybe some place Sans wasn't?” Papyrus opened his mouth but closed it quickly. He fidgeted around in his seat, contemplating his answer.

 “Sans doesn't like to talk about it.” Papyrus started and the dogs feared they'd be turned down again.

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Dogamy quickly asked before giving up all hope on the topic.

“Yes, but I don't remember what happened before waking up in the room. Sans said that's normal and that baby bones don't remember a lot about being babies, but he doesn't talk about why we were there and I want to know.” The skeleton voiced, glancing at the door as if expecting Sans to come through.

“Room? What room?” The dogs pressed, trying to sound less eager than they actually were.

“I don't know. It was a white room, about the size of the bedroom. It was very cold and echoey. There wasn't anything inside of it, but there was this loud alarm going off and the door was wide open. I was scared. I didn't know what was going on or why I was there, but then Sans came. I remembered Sans, he was always there, but everything else was fuzzy. Sans picked me up and we left and never went back. He doesn't talk about it, he gets really upset if I bring it up, so I don't. I don't need to know, though because Sans came for me and never left! He's all I care about.”

“I'm very happy you have Sans by your side. He sounds like an amazing brother.”

“He's the best! I'm going to go check on him. I will be right back!” Papyrus hopped down and rushed off to his brother and the three were in silence for a few seconds.

 “Something is definitely wrong.” Dogamy quickly stated.

 “Grillby, we need to get to the bottom of this case. For all we know whoever did this could still be out there. We need to speak to Sans about this. We cannot allow this to continue on.” Dogaressa growled and Grillby's shook his head.

“No,” Grillby answered and the female dog growled loudly. “He is scared and traumatized. He's not Papyrus, you can't just interrogate him and get him to talk. I want him to get better. You forcing him to answer your questions will not help him.”

“You would rather allow whatever caused all this trauma to continue to live without consequences? We won't harass the child. We are royal guards, we are meant to protect and serve all of monster kind. That includes helping Sans and bringing whatever did this to justice! We know how to handle emotionally unstable children, we are trained to and have the resources to make him feel completely safe and comfortable.”

 “If you question Sans about any of this then you will not only risk them running away to live back on the streets but also destroy whatever small hope Sans has in monsters. I will not allow you to cause that child any more distress. He finally just started to go outside and still won't leave without me with him. I am grateful and honoured to finally have a small amount of trust placed in my hands by that child and I will be damned if I allow you two to break that bond Sans desperately needs by questioning him about topics he doesn't want to talk about!” Grillby was furious, his exposed flame body flickering and dark red. Sans didn't trust Grillby a whole lot, the bartender knew this, but he'd be damned if he was going to let the small progress he had made in getting Sans acclimated to this new life be destroyed by the guards bringing up topics Grillby knew the elder brother would not be comfortable talking about.

“Okay, everybody calm down,” Dogamy ordered softly, resting a paw on Dogaressa’s hand. Grillby remained heated not bowing down until Dogaressa sighed and relaxed once more. “Grillby, you understand our concern do you not?”

“Of course, I do, Dogamy. However, I am caring for these children. Until Sans is ready to talk about what happened, I will not force him and I will not allow you to question him.”

“I understand, we will see what we can find out from what Papyrus has told us, but please, keep us informed about them. Let us know if anything happens to them or if Sans says anything.”

“Of course,” Grillby replied. He said goodbye to the guards and let out a loud and long sigh once they were gone. He closed his eyes, rubbing his hands over his face, messing up his glasses before rearranging them. Grillby looked over at the door and spotted Papyrus exiting.

“He's still sleeping,” Papyrus announced and Grillby nodded. He made a step forward to go check on the skeleton, but his foot made an abnormal squishing sound and the fire monster suddenly remembers how much of a wreck his bar was.

“Can I help?” The younger skeleton asked, noticing Grillby's sudden problem.

 “Only if you want,” Grillby answered, grabbing one of his many dish rags and handing it to Papyrus.


	4. Home

Sans sat up on the bed, hand gripping onto the sheets so tightly he feared he'd tear a hole in them. His eyes quickly scanning the room, trembling with his body as he looked around. Voices could be heard in the bar, but Sans couldn't locate Papyrus' voice or body and it scared him. The skeleton had panicked, he lost consciousness, and in his stupid blind anxiety, Grillby stole Papyrus and left Sans here. Sans wanted to cry, it was all his fault. God knows that was happening to Papyrus and it was all his fault. If he hadn't slipped on the chair, broken those dishes, ruined the bar with ketchup-

Sans covered his mouth as a yelp escaped him, eyes locking onto the door connecting the bar and side living quarters. Grillby stepped out looking tired and worried. Sans mistook the look for annoyed and exhausted. Something was coming. Sans remained still, awaiting the punishment to come.

Grillby looked up, into his room, spotting Sans now awake and shaking violently. Grillby felt his flamed head lower slightly at the sight. Sans looked so scared, terrified. It was the opposite of what he was when near Papyrus. Around Papyrus he seemed so strong, protective, threatening almost. Now he looked defeated, broken, and empty.

“Sans-”

“Is he awake?!” Papyrus flung open the door, almost knocking Grillby over by the sudden smack to his head. Papyrus spotted Sans and grinned, darting over to him and launching himself at his brother. Grillby watched as Sans' bones eased up, the tension leaving his body. His small white pupils grew, no longer trembling as his arms wrapped around Papyrus holding him against his chest tightly. Sans buried his face in his brother's scarf for a few moments before his eyes locked back onto the bar owner’s. He tried to be threatening, glaring harshly, but the shaking white dots told Grillby that he was still afraid when around him. Grillby would be a liar if he said it didn't hurt to see that look directed at him.

“Are you okay? No one hurt you?” Sans asked, pulling away to look at Papyrus with a soft expression.

“Of course not brother. Why do you worry about me? Are you okay?” Sans smiled, nodding slightly.

“I'm fine, bro.” Papyrus didn't seem too convinced, but smiled regardless, not wanting to argue. “Are you sure you are okay?” Sans pressed, glancing back over at Grillby. “No one hurt you?”

“Sans I am fine! Nothing happened. What's wrong? You really worried us.”

“Heh, sorry bro. All better now didn't mean to rattle your bones.” Sans rubbed his brother's head a bit, getting a small laugh out of him.

Papyrus began to rant away about his friends outside, but Sans couldn't focus on it as much as he'd like to. He kept sneaking looks at Grillby, expecting him to do something. The bartender just stood in the doorway, watching them, planning something. Sans couldn't rest easy, didn't feel safe. There had to be some repercussion for what he'd had done, some punishment the fire monster was planning. Sans felt even more nauseated with Papyrus near him. At least if Grillby took Papyrus away Sans could do something, could prepare for whatever it is he had planned. Now, though, Sans couldn't think of what the bartender would do. Would Grillby use Papyrus against him? Would he lure Sans into falling into the false security blanket of his house before stripping it away? What was he-

“Brother?” Sans wasn't unaware of his growing panic, his eye flickering with light, as his breathing sped up.

No, Grillby wasn't Gaster. Sans could beat him. Sans wouldn't allow him to touch Papyrus. The skeleton had played along with his games, accepting this place as a safe haven, taking the free food and warm bed, but no more. Whatever the bar owner had planned, Sans wouldn't allow it to happen. Not if it involved Papyrus.

“Papyrus, why don't you give us-” Sans growled, arms wrapping around Papyrus. Sans pressed his brother against him, eyes glowing as he snarled at Grillby.

“Don't touch him,” Sans warned, Grillby frozen in the doorway.

“Brother!” Papyrus cried out, Sans grip only tightening. “Brother!” Papyrus tried again, wiggling his hands to try to get them free. “Sans!” Papyrus shouted, pressing his palms against his brother's chest, the fingertips glowing as a small orange spark flickered out.

“Ow!” Sans hollered, releasing Papyrus. The younger brother gave his sibling a harsh look, Sans' anger quickly being replaced with guilt.

“Stop being mean to Grillby!” Papyrus demanded, and Sans looked away from the two. “He has done nothing but be kind to us from the moment he met us! He doesn't want to hurt us but you keep acting like he does!”

“You don't know-”

“I do know!” Papyrus cut Sans off, and Sans shook his head, burying his face in his knees. “He was really worried.” Papyrus voiced, sounding a lot less agitated. “He didn't know what to do, and you kept screaming.” Sans grip tightening on his jacket, wishing Papyrus would stop talking. “He had to explain to the guards why you were screaming, and why the bar was a mess, and he didn't know what to say or do. He carried you in here, and kept checking up on you.” Papyrus' voice began to waver and Sans peeked up from his knees, staring at his brother's face.

“Pap...”

“He cares a lot, brother!” Papyrus looked into Sans eyes, his own filled with orange tears that threatened to fall at any moment. “He is patient, nice, generous, and cares very much, but you keep acting like he is evil!” Papyrus sniffed, wiping the unfallen tears away from his eyes.

Sans wanted to turn away, to ignore his brother and continue to believe in what he has known and what he has lived through. Sans also wanted to hug his brother and believe in his words and faith in monsters. He was torn between the two, his fear and hope battling within his soul.

“I know, that something bad happened to you.” Sans tensed, his sad expression flashing a look of distress and fear for only a second before vanishing. “A-And because of that, you don't trust monsters and don't like them. But,” Papyrus grabbed onto his brother's hands, “Grillby isn't like them. He isn't like anything that happened back then.” Sans shook his head, holding back a sob.

“You don't know that,” he whispered, Papyrus' grip tightening as his gaze deepened into Sans'.

“I do.”

For a second Sans wondered if Papyrus did remember the Lab. The confident and unwavering look the small skeleton gave Sans filled him with such reassurance as if Papyrus knew exactly what Sans feared, and to a degree he did. Although the younger brother didn't recall the tests or Gaster, Sans knew that Papyrus could feel Sans fear and anxiety. Every time Papyrus had calmed Sans down from his attacks, he connected with his soul, taking hold of Sans' emotions and life and using his own magic and soul to calm the elder brother down. Papyrus filled his brother's soul with the warmth and security it needed. Sans would feel Papyrus' love and hope wash over his body, melting away everything that would ever bother him, but in return, Papyrus could feel every emotion he washed away from Sans. He felt Sans' fear, his sorrow, his instability, and although he didn't know why he felt that way, he still managed to make him feel better.

“Sans?” The elder skeleton looked up, Grillby standing a few feet away from the two. “I don't know what I can do to make you feel safe here, to ensure you that I mean no ill will towards you or your brother. I try my best to help and make you feel as safe as I can, but I still fail. I don't know if it's because I'm not used to raising kids or if it's because you two aren't exactly normal ones. Regardless, I want you two to feel happy here. I'd like you to trust me and have more faith in me like Papyrus does, but I know trust isn't something you give. You earn trust and in your case, you don't seem to give it out to some guy who just acts kindly. Today, though, Sans...” Grillby sighed, sitting down on the far end of the bed, wanting to give Sans as much space as possible. “I won't ever hurt you.” Grillby watched Sans shift awkwardly, cheeks tinted blue as he looked away. “I know nothing about where you boys came from or what happened to you guys, and I won't force you to tell me. I just want you to know, that you don't have to be afraid, ever. I would-fuck, I could never even imagine yelling at you two let alone hitting you, the thought makes me sick just thinking about it.” Grillby's flame looked a little off coloured from normal, and Sans was thankful that Grillby was kind of easy to read emotion wise. It made him seem more open and exposed and Sans liked knowing that Grillby couldn't lie as easily as others could.

“Like I said, I know you can't, and don't expect you to just have this trust and faith in me. I just want to let you know, that I won't ever hurt you. I can't promise you guys a room in the palace. I can't promise you the impossible, I'm not the kind of guy to make commitments I can't keep. I won't sugar coat the world for you or promise you things just to get you to feel better. You both can handle reality, and can handle honesty because you two have lived harder lives than most adults. To treat you like glass would belittle you, and you guys don't deserve to be treated as such. I am just a bar owner, that's all I am now. I've never raised a kid, never had my own, only ever watched my niece before for a few weeks. I don't know how to do a lot and each day I'm learning something new with you guys and it's the most entertaining and enjoyable thing I've done in a long time. I love having you guys here, I really do. I hope I can keep making you guys meals, and wake up to you guys in the morning, and help you figure how to use the shower. I hope you both allow me to do whatever I can to raise you guys, because although I can't promise you guys five-star meals and the world's softest bed. I can promise you guys some damn good food, a warm home, and a bed to sleep in. And Sans-no, both of you, I swear to both of you, that I will never, ever hit you. I don't care what you've done, whether you broke one plate or every single glass I own. You never have to be afraid of me. I don't want you two to ever have to fear me.” Although Grillby spoke to both of them, his eyes were on Sans his entire speech, wanting to ensure that the scared skeleton understood how sincere and honest he was being. “I want this place to be your home.”

“What's a home?” Papyrus asked quietly.

“A place where you feel safe and at peace with. Some place you go to and it just feels like you belong.”

“This place is home,” Papyrus smiled and Grillby felt his non-existent heart melt. Papyrus reached out for Grillby, arms extended and wide open. The bartender scooted closer, pulling him into a hug smiling down at him before offering the same warm and inviting look to Sans.

“Would you like a hug, Sans?” Sans pressed his hands against his chest, nervously nodding his head, allowing Grillby to pull him into his warm embrace.

The three held onto each other for a long time, the two boys enjoying the warmth Grillby radiated while Grillby just enjoyed the boys being close. Papyrus pulled away first, looked up at Grillby.

“Can we have nice cream for dinner?” Grillby laughed Sans chuckled into his jacket.

“I don't see why not. What do you think Sans?”

“Sounds like a pretty nice idea.” Grillby snorted, pulling the hood of Sans' jacket over his head.

“You're getting crab apple flavour.” San giggled, covering his mouth with his sleeves as he peered up from his oversized hood.

“No need to get all crabby over a joke.”

“Maybe I can ask for a special dirt flavoured cone?” Grillby pondered as the two boys cackled on the bed.

“Looks like I soiled your mood.”

“No nice cream for you, Sans. You can stay here while Papyrus and I go out.” Grillby smirked as Sans let out a loud laugh, no longer hiding it in his jacket. Grillby chuckled, the contagious laugh spreading to all three of them, filling the room with glee.


	5. Family

Despite the heart to heart yesterday, Grillby was still a little disappointed to see that Sans was a little nervous the next day. Papyrus was as chipper as usual, sitting at the table the boys had claimed, closest to the back door, making a small fortress out of silverware. Sans sat on the edge of the small booth, glancing back at Grillby and even attempting to help him whenever possible. When Grillby had a small rush enter, Sans walked behind the bar and handed Grillby the glasses that needed to fill up the drinks.

“Hey Grillbz, can I get some ketchup?” Grillby looked up from the drink he was filling, nodding but Sans already rushing over, handing the monster the bottle. Sans looked back over at Grillby, looking for any sort of facial expression to tell him he was doing well, the bartender just nodded, giving Sans a thumbs up.

“Got the kid working?” Bonnie joked, watching Sans carefully walk by with a plate of food.

“He's uh-...doing his own thing,” Grillby replied with a shrug. It was a bit worrying to him, thinking that Sans was only doing this to somehow make up for the mistake he made yesterday as if working hard would somehow make the non-existent anger Grillby had vanished.

“It's cute, the folks love it too.” She smiled, watching Lesser Dog's tail wag happily as Sans carefully set the food down.

Grillby just nodded, not wanting to discuss with Bonnie the private matters that concerned him. When the bar was empty for the day, Grillby hung up his dish rag and Papyrus put away his utensil mess before retreating to the bedroom, Sans stood by the bar peeking up at Grillby every now and then.

“Sans,” Grillby voiced, the skeleton stepping into view. “You know that you don't have to help me out. I don't want you working because you think you have to.” Sans fidgeted slightly, looking guilty. “Sans, you know that yesterday...Sans, I'm not mad at you, you know this right?”

Sans nodded, eyes cast down.

“Hey, Sans, look at me, please.” Sans obeyed, pupils wavering. “You don't owe me anything. You don't have to try to make up for what happened. It was an accident. If you want to work, that's fine. I don't want you working because you think it'll make me feel better or make up for the dishes. I'm not mad or heartbroken about it. I have plenty to spare.”

“I-...” Sans seemed slightly distressed, unaware of where to look.

Why did he work today? Why did he feel obligated to make up for what happened? He knew Grillby wasn't upset. He knew the bartender didn't care about the attack yesterday. So why, why did the skeleton feel like this?

Gaster would never care. Gaster demanded Sans work. Sans didn't have to attempt to make up work, or try to please Gaster. The doctor was never pleased and the doctor never gave Sans a choice. Sans put up with him because he had to. If Sans failed an experiment, that means Papyrus would be in his place. Sans couldn't allow that. Sans had to endure if he failed he'd work twice as hard. He'd force himself to, he had to.

Without an order, without fear of Papyrus' safety, Sans still obeys these non-existent commands. As if Gaster was still with him, ordering him to work, toying with Papyrus to get him to deliver food faster.

Sans was flustered and confused. He didn't want Grillby to act like Gaster. He wanted him to be nice and kind to Papyrus and him, but Sans wished the fire monster wasn't just so it would be easier. He was use to that old lifestyle, it was simple. Do what you are told and Papyrus lives. Sans woke up, performed tests and went to bed. Even when on the streets it was simple, make sure Papyrus was safe, find food and shelter. Here, Sans didn't know what to do. Grillby gave him choices, not demands, promises not threats, love not hate. Sans couldn't figure out what to do or why he was having such a hard time doing what appeared to be such simple tasks. Why couldn't he just play with Papyrus? Why did he feel obligated to work? Why did he feel scared and threatened when he did anything that wasn't work?

“I don't know what to do.” Sans voice shook, and Grillby could tell he was becoming anxious. With Papyrus not in the room, his defences were down, and emotions unstable. Grillby offered him a small smile, kneeling down to level himself with the kid.

“What are you having difficulty doing?”

“Understanding.”

“Understand what, Sans?”

“Just-” Sans let out a few noises of distress, stumbling over his words, “everything. I don't know what to do. What to feel. I just-...I don't know. I don't understand you. I don't know what to do and I don't know why I don't know what to do because everyone else can do it but me and I don't know why I don't get it. I don't know what I feel or why I feel this way. Why don't I just get it?” Grillby took in a deep breath, collecting his thoughts.

“Kiddo, I'm going to need you to try to help me understand what you mean. What are you feeling right now?”

“Confused and upset.”

“Why? Because I asked you if you wanted to work?”

“Yes, kind of?”

“Well, do you want to work?”

“I-...” Sans let out a defeated sigh and looked at the ground, just nodding.

“Hey, Sans no, don't get upset. Sans, I want you to tell me honestly. I won't be mad at you, do you want to help me out around the bar?”

“Do you want me to?” Sans questioned and Grillby shook his head.

“I want you to help only if you want to.”

“I liked... helping you today,” Sans admitted. He did enjoy the praise he got from Grillby sometimes. He did enjoy the feeling of doing something correct for once. It was a new experience for him and praise was something he had never received from Gaster.

“Did you help me today because you want to?” Sans tugged at his sleeves and shook his head.

“I felt like I had to.”

“Why do you feel that way?”

“Because...I don't know. I'm-I don't know why. I'm not use to feeling that way. I'm not use to anything I'm feeling. I just felt like I had to. Like, even without you asking or wanting me to, you expected me to work to make up for yesterday. I felt like I had to, I never had a choice before.” Grillby felt a small amount of sorrow overflow him.

“Sans, you always have a choice here.”

“I'm not used to that. I don't know what to do. What if I make the wrong choice? What if my choice hurts someone? Why do you keep giving me choices? Just-just tell me what to do! I'm not meant to have an opinion! I'm not supposed to have a choice!”

“Sans, you- no hey- calm down.” Sans was shaking, his hands digging into his arms as he curled into himself.

“Why do you keep making me feel like everything I had ever felt was incorrect and wrong?”

“Sans, I don't know what you mean. I've only tried to treat you like everybody else, like every other monster here.”

“I'm not-” Sans let out a small whine.

“I want to know if how I am treating you bothers you, kiddo. I want to treat you like a regular monster but-”

“I'm not a monster!” Sans shouted, quickly covering his mouth, looking at the door. Papyrus' off-key singing stopped and the small pattering of feet could be heard approaching the door. Papyrus poked his head out, looking at the two worried.

“Sans?” Sans forced a smile, clearly strained and painful, as he faced his brother.

“H-Hey bro, I didn't mean to yell. We were just playing a game!”

“What kinda game?” Papyrus asked, not believing him, but not wanting to call him out.

“It's uh-a-uh-”

“Shouting game,” Grillby stated. “You have to say something louder than your opponent.” Papyrus blinked but smiled believing the lie.

“Can I play?” He questioned and Sans’ tension fell slightly.

“Maybe later, why don't you take a shower? You got sauce all over your bones. I'll be right there in a second to help.” Papyrus nodded and rushed off. The two remained silent, staring at the closed door before the shower turned on, a small shout of victory following after.

“Sans.”

“Don't tell Papyrus.” Sans eyes were still on the door, expression solemn. “Please, don't tell him what I said.”

“Sans, can we talk, please? I don't want to leave this conversation like this. You don't have to agree, but I-”

“I need to make sure Papyrus gets all the ketchup off.” Sans walked to the door, pushing it open slightly before turning to face Grillby. “B-but, maybe later. When he's asleep.” The skeleton mumbled before exiting the bar.

Grillby could feel the flame on his head fluctuate as he let out a deep breath he was holding unknowingly. Later. Sans agreed to maybe talk later. Grillby didn't expect much out of the conversation to come, but he knew he'd at least get somewhere with him.

That night, Sans laid in bed with Papyrus until the younger skeleton fell asleep. He waited for his brother to detach himself from Sans' jacket and cling to the pillow before he slid out from the bed and into the hallway. The back door was open slightly, and Sans peeked through, spotting Grillby sitting on the steps. With a deep breath, Sans pushed open the door slightly, squeezing out of the small crack before almost closing it completely. Grillby glanced behind him, smoke floating out of his cigarette.

“Hey,” Sans mumbled, sitting next to him. He zipped up his jacket and tucked his legs inside, pulling his arms out of the sleeves, before pulling his hood up, cocooning himself in his jacket.

“If you are that cold, we can go back inside.” Sans shook his head, letting out a breath and watching it fade away in the air.

“I'm fine.” Despite his words, Grillby inched over slightly, allowing his natural body warmth to provide the skeleton with his own space heater. Sans muttered what might have been thanks, but Grillby wasn't too clear. Grillby took one last deep drag on his smoke before putting it out in the snow, allowing the exhale to pollute the air, Sans watching almost mesmerized by the amount of smoke exiting the bartender.

“I'm going to let you talk about what you want.” Grillby started debating on whether or not he should smoke one more or if somehow it would affect Sans in some manner. Considering he was nothing but bones, it wouldn't do him any harm, but Grillby was still cautious. “I don't want to press some old wound or ask you something you aren't ready to share. You may not be used to choices, but this is practice to get used to it. I want you to lead this conversation, to tell me what you want me to ask, what you'll let me ask, what you want me to know. I won't get mad. I won't hurt you or Papyrus. I won't do anything to you no matter what you say or do. I want you to be comfortable and honest with me, and you will never be punished for trying to open up to me like this. Hell, I'd reward you even if you were a fan of it.”

“I don't-I don't know where to start,” Sans admitted, taking an interest in the snow on the ground. 

“Well, how about where you left off?” Sans frowned, recalling the last thing he said and shook his head. “Okay, then what about before? Why does it make you uncomfortable when I treat you normally?”

“Because I'm not use to it. I wasn't...I wasn't treated like that before. By anybody, other than Paps, and I know him and can trust him and even though you are nice like he is, it's just weird. I don't know why you are or why anybody in the town is. I only ever had Papyrus and all he ever had is me. We are brothers, we were born with only each other. That's why we are nice to each other because we love each other. You guys aren't family, you aren't even friends with everyone but you act so nice and kind to each other. I don't understand why! Why do you treat everyone as if they matter? Why do you treat other monsters you just met so nicely? I don't know that feeling, I don't know what that is like. I don't understand why you all can go about your day and live life so happily and not be wary of other monsters!”

“Monsters are kind, Sans. Most of them at least, almost all of them will be polite at the very least, it's just what we are. I haven't ever met a monster who wasn't enjoyable. Even after the war, and after so many monsters ended up without loved ones or scarred for life, they still had hope and moved on with their lives. We don't want war, we don't want fights, we just want peace. I don't know of any monster capable of treating you the way you had been. I am sorry that your only experience with monsters aside from your brother has been unpleasant. I can assure you, though, that no one like that exists out here, at least no one I know, and that's the word of a very old monster.”

“You can be kind, but not stupid. It's as if you guys are just blinded by your trust in others.”

“No, it's just hope, kiddo. It's intuition and, well, a lot of things. Word travels fast in the underground, you know who's a lousy tip and who's a good one. Just because someone may be a bit rude one day doesn't mean they are bad. What if they were having a bad day? Do you enjoy being treated badly?”

“No.”

“Do you enjoy being treated like a threat?”

“No.”

“So why would you do that to others? The Golden rule, Sans, treat other's the way you want to be treated. Anyone can be an asshole.” Sans let out a small laugh at the curse. “It's just the right thing to do. You hold doors open to be polite. You pick up the contents of someone's broken bag to help them out. You smile and wave at people to be friendly and enjoyable. It doesn't take a whole lot of energy, but the outcome can be life changing. Look at all the times Papyrus managed to make you calm down and feel happy just by his smile. You two make my day every time I heard you giggling. Happiness feels better than distrust, doesn't it?”

“Yeah, but what if it backfires? What if you trust too much? What if you act like the best monster alive yet someone still doesn't like you?”

“Then, Sans, I want you to go up to whoever that asshole is and look them right in the eyes and say 'fuck you'.” Sans let out a small chuckle, Grillby following along. “Not everyone is a keeper, pal. There will be folks you hate and folks you love. You just have to remember who matters most and who doesn't. Why keep around spoiled milk? It's just taking up space and making your life more difficult. Toss it out, and move on, don't hold onto them.”

“How do you know if they are good or not?” Sans lost interest in the snow, sockets watching the bartender.

“Trial and error,” Grillby responded with a shrug and for once Sans actually understood what he was talking about.

Trial and error. Was that all it was? Sans was familiar with that. He was all too familiar with those terms. Trials, tests, experiments, Sans recalled them vividly.

“Trial and error,” Sans muttered to himself, nodding his head slightly. “Yeah, but, you could know! You could know before the experiment whether or not the outcome would be successful! You could research them! Study them around others, gather intel from those close to them. Then you could predict the outcome, enter the experimental phase, and analyse your data before coming up with a valid conclusion! Is that all it is?” Sans gazed at Grillby, pupils wider and shining. Grillby just stared, shocked by the sudden scientific outburst.

“Uh, if that's how you like to think about it, yea sure. It's like that, but more...simple. That sounded pretty, scientific.” Sans's gazed dimmed slightly, Grillby cursing himself for ruining the look.

“It's the basic scientific method. The process all experimentations go through in order to explore observations and answer questions. Is it wrong?”

“No, not wrong but just-...it just seems more complicated to think of it that way. If it helps you, though, then it's fine.” Grillby rubbed the back of his neck, questioning the logic behind Sans knowledge. The kid couldn't read a book, but he knew about the scientific method?

“Is it bad, that it helps?”

“No, it's not. Not at all, I just now think I figured out how to help you understand things more. Less with feelings, but more with uh-technical terminology.” Sans eyes returned to the starry and hopeful look.

“You can do that?”

“I can try. I'm just worried you will understand the logic and how to do it but miss the more emotional factor that could go into it. I mean, monsters aren't lab rats.” Once again Grillby managed to destroy the joyous look, but this time Sans face looked grim.

“W-What do you mean?” Sans voice wavered, body leaning away from the fire monster's warmth.

“Well, monsters still feel and have emotions. I feel like a lot of science and such deals with things that tend to not really act or feel like we do. Someone might get really offended or upset if they think you are trying to perform some experimental friendship test on them. Although the method can help you, and I'm glad it can, I want to help you understand things emotionally as well. Will learning this way helps you understand things better emotionally?”

“I don't understand what you mean?” Sans admitted, searching Grillby's face for answers. “I will understand how they act emotionally through the studies and tests.”

“No Sans, you aren't learning how to deal with that emotionally. Would you like it if someone studied you and set up some tests on you to understand your emotions?” Sans curled into himself, arms wrapping protectively around his knees, holding them close. He buried his head in his jacket, his previous understanding vanishing in an instant as a new realization hit him.

“It doesn't feel good,” Sans stated, unaware if Grillby could even hear him in his jacket fortress.

“See?” Grillby ignored the phrasing of Sans' sentence, hoping he just heard it wrong. “You don't need to get all scientific. You just need to think of how you would feel in their position.”

“Grillby?” Sans asked after a few moments of silence between the two.

“Yeah?”

“What am I?”

Grillby felt the air around them tense up. Sans remained hidden by his clothes, not moving. Grillby couldn't think too long about his answer, knowing every passing second meant something to the kid beside him.

“You are a skeleton,” Grillby stated almost unsure.

“What are you?”

“I'm a fire elemental.”

“What are we?” Grillby took in a silent deep breath, running his hands over his legs a few times before answering with his heart instead of his mind.

“We are a family.” Sans head shot up, looking at Grillby with those sad sockets. Grillby smiled warmly down at Sans, standing up and picking Sans up before he could protest. “You, me, and Papyrus, two skeletons, and one fire element. We are one family. Does that sound okay with you?”

A family. When Sans first heard the word being spoken outside the lab, he was puzzled. Sans had always thought a family refers to a group of elements with similar chemical properties. Outside the lab, monsters used it so differently. The skeleton wondered if they formed families due to genetics and similarities within the group, and in that case, Sans and Papyrus were a family. However, watching two monsters of different genetic backgrounds claim to be a family made Sans give up on the idea as a whole. Now, though, Sans thinks he finally understands it. Was a family a group of people who loved each other? Was it about trust? Safety? Grillby claimed the three of them were a family. Did it have to do with living in the same place? Why did Sans love the idea of having a family, despite not understand the word? The word baffled him and made him irritated, but he was unable to stop smiling at the same time.

Sans didn't respond, hiding his smile behind his jacket. He only watched Grillby lock up the door and carry him inside. He set Sans down on the bed, walking out to change into his pyjamas before returning. Noticing that Sans had not moved and was still just sitting in the spot he left him in, Grillby sat down on the bed and pulled Sans up to him, tucking him in next to Papyrus who continued to snore away. Grillby flicked off the bedroom light, the room now glowing only in his eternal light. Grillby rested on his back, setting his glasses aside before finally resting. He felt Sans shift next to him for a few moments, then felt bony arms wrap around Grillby's middle, his face was hidden in his arm.

“Okay,” Sans whispered and Grillby rolled onto his side, holding both of the boys close as they slept, snuggled together.


	6. Bonnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys, you totally made my fucking day. I was going to maybe blow off the next update since my plane flight got cancelled and I can't home for another week but you guys just cheered me up! Thank you for that.
> 
> This is the second update of today because I wanted to show my thanks somehow so why not an update?
> 
> I also wasn't going to have any sadness in this chapter, but the option kept coming up and coming up and comping up so I just said fuck it. Take the pain, love it. Contemplated cutting this chapter in half, but since you all have been just the bee's knees, I'll just throw it all at you. Hope it isn't too long and jumbly, 15 pages might be too much...Also, I notice a lot of writers post their tumblr url for questions or whatever and I'd do it as well if you'd like, but as for now this is still a little baby fic so maybe the next update or five *shrug*
> 
> Thank you all again so very much.

Grillby carried his two children to the nice cream vendor, Sans up on his shoulders while the bartender held Papyrus who was constantly squirming around. Both brothers got their cone, Sans getting vanilla while Papyrus got chocolate vanilla swirl. Grillby did not partake in the ice cream eating, not being a fan of it for multiple reasons, but he did enjoy watching the skeletons run around, almost dropping their frozen treat multiple times.

“Look at you, dad!” A female voice teased, startling Grillby. Bonnie laughed, patting Grillby's back, giving him a wink.

“Hello, Bonnie.” Grillby greeted.

“They are certainly getting more active. I don't even think Sans noticed I'm here.” Bonnie noted, letting out a laugh as Sans stole a small bite of nice cream from his brother while he was distracted.

“They are getting a lot better, yes. It's been tough, but they are getting there.”

“You got any plans for Christmas? I saw this adorable mitten and scarf set at the store the other day and I was so tempted to buy it for Papyrus!” The bunny gushed. Grillby had forgotten Christmas was three days away, Christmas eve even closer.

“I honestly forgot.” Grillby shrugged and Bonnie gasped.

“Forgot about Christmas?! How could you? It's only the biggest holiday in all of Snowdin! Plus, you have kids! Are they not excited about it at all?”

“They didn't even know what it was before I told them.”

“Oh dear! Oh no, Grillby this will not do. I need to put everything on hold, we are giving these boys the best Christmas ever. Did you really not plan anything? No party? Gifts?”

“I guess I could get them something. Sans isn't too big on gifts, though.” Grillby mumbled, recalling the candy incident.

“Nonsense, every child loves gifts. Well, every child loves my gifts. I give the best presents! Ask any resident in Snowdin and they will tell you, Bonnie is a gift giving expert!” Grillby snorted and Bonnie slapped him playfully.

“I don't know what they would want. They never ask for anything.”

“Grillby, children are the easiest to shop for. Look at Papyrus, what would you buy him?” Grillby watched Papyrus finish off the rest of his cone, shoving it into his mouth so the end pointed out a bit.

“Maybe, some kind of ball? He's very active.”

“That could work, but you know what would be better? Cars. Get that boy some toy cars, maybe even a few action figures and he will be set for life!” Bonnie pointed at Sans who was forming a snowball. “What about Sans? He's a bit trickier, but I got it.” Grillby took in a deep breath. Sans, what would Sans want? The better question to ask is what would the skeleton accept? Grillby could give him anything for Christmas, but he may just reject it.

“Something small, very inexpensive. Sans doesn't like big gifts or surprises.” Grillby stated and Bonnie just nodded along. “Maybe, perhaps a notebook?”

“Wrong again, friend. Look at Sans, really look at him.” They both started watching the elder brother get hit in the face with a snowball. “That boy is different. He will take toys and clothes, but he really wants to learn. You need to get him some books, any kind. Your notebook idea could work, both of them seem creative enough to be entertained by drawing books and colouring, but Sans is smart. He'd love to get his hands on some books, novels!” Grillby held back the noise of doubt he was about to let out. Books? The bartender doubted the two could even read. Books seemed like the worst idea.

“Yea, maybe,” Grillby spoke, humouring Bonnie.

“Maybe my tail, they'll love them! I already got my present for you! It is going to look so cute in your little-” Bonnie froze mid-sentence. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes bugged out, body turning slowly to face Grillby who looked alarmed. “Oh my god...” She whispered, soft paws suddenly reaching out to latch onto Grillby's shoulders.

“Bonnie?” Grillby asked, concerned.

“Your little hallways. Your little bar. Grillby, do you know what I'm getting at?”

“You think my house is small?”

“For you, no, but for three people? Yes.” Grillby was confused for a long moment, silence passing between the two before he finally understood.

“There is no fucking way I could do that so quickly,” Grillby said in a hushed tone.

“Of course, you can! You got three days!”

“That's pushing it.”

“Nonsense! You got the money, right? Just go for it! I bet you could get it settled by tomorrow. I'll hook you up with the same guy who did my sister's place, she was done in minutes!”

“I can't, I have to watch the kids.”

“I'll watch them!” Grillby shook his head.

“No, they won't-”

“Hey, kiddos!” Bonnie called, the two looked up from the snow fort they built.

“Goddamn, Bonnie!” Grillby cursed.

“Meet your new babysitter!” The two children exchanged a confused look.

“What's a babysitter?” Sans asked.

“Grillby over here has to run some errands tomorrow. So, I'm going to watch over you guys till he gets back!” Papyrus seemed pleased, but Sans, to no surprise, was not.

“Where are you going?” The skeleton asked Grillby.

“I have to go get some paperwork done for the...bar.”

“I want to come with.”

“I don't think you can. I won't go if you want. If you aren't comfortable with Bonnie watching over you guys, tell me.”

“I want her to come over!” Papyrus cheered, rushing over to Bonnie. Sans walked over to Grillby, tugging on his pant leg. Grillby leaned down and picked him up.

“You okay with this? You really don't have to. I can do the paperwork some other time.”

“I don't-...she'll be nice, right?”

“The nicest."

“But she doesn't know-what if she does something? I can watch Papyrus by myself.”

“She won't do anything, Sans. I know you will be able to handle it if she did. I just want to make sure you guys are okay.”

“How long?” Sans muttered, looking a little anxious as Bonnie knelt down to talk to Papyrus.

“I'm not sure, maybe a few hours.”

“Hours,” Sans mumbled, recalling the time Grillby taught him the basics of the clock. “I... will you be there at first?”

“For as long as you want.” Sans made a small noise of distress but nodded.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Papyrus asked, grinning up at Sans.

“Okay!” Bonnie cheered, picking Papyrus up and Sans eye flickered, body jolting forward to stop the woman. Papyrus' let out a shriek of laughter and Sans paused, eyes locked onto every movement. Bonnie spun Papyrus around before resting him against her hip and smiled, Sans frowned, clearly unhappy, but Papyrus was happy and smiling.

“I'll tell her to be careful,” Grillby said to Sans who grumbled a bit. “Make sure she lays off Pap.”

“She's better not do that again,” Sans growled, trying to stay angry as he listened to Papyrus laugh, Bonnie now tickling him.

“Come on, slowpokes! We got stuff to do!” Bonnie called and Sans pouted, Grillby chuckling at the child's behaviour before quickly catching up. Bonnie and Papyrus were chatting away the entire walk back to the bar, Sans watching his brother and Bonnie intently. When they arrived back at Grillby's, the adults set the children down, the skeletons running inside while the two monsters remained outside to chat.

“So, tomorrow I will be over and have all the paperwork ready for you!” Bonnie smiled and Grillby nodded. Bonnie turned to leave, but Grillby caught her arm and pulled her back.

“Hey, I want to talk to you about them.” The bartender motioned to the door with his free hand.

“Don't worry, Grill! I know how to handle children, my cousin had five and they are just-”

“Bonnie, please, they aren't-they aren't like other children,” Grillby spoke in a hushed tone and Bonnie leaned in a bit closer to hear. “You can't act like how you normally would around them, or rather more around Sans. Papyrus will be very easy to handle, but I'm really worried about Sans-”

“Grillby,” Bonnie patted the side of Grillby's head with her paw, offering him a smile. “I know the kid is a little shy. You don't have to worry about it.” Grillby sighed, shaking his head. The fire element only wished Sans was just 'a little shy'.

“He's not shy, Bonnie. He is very scared.” Bonnie frowned, opening up her mouth to speak but Grillby's cut her off. “Listen, I won't go into it too much. It makes them very uncomfortable to talk about anything about where they came from or their past so don't talk about it. Also, do not be too aggressive with Papyrus. Sans is extremely cautious and protective of him and I do not want him attacking you. If Papyrus comes to you, that is okay, but do not just pick him up or try to get too touchy feely with either of them. You need to let them come to you. Papyrus will act like any normal child, but Sans is very wary. He gets uh-panic attacks very easily. If he looks like he is going to have one just get Papyrus and back away, he knows what to do. They shouldn't be a problem at all but I just want to make sure you know that this won't be a normal babysitting job.”

“Leave Sans alone, only touch them if they want to be touched, and if Sans gets upset he lets Papyrus handle it. I got it Grillby. I've babysat almost every kid in town, yours won't be a problem. I'll bring over some toys, some crayons, some books-”

“No books.” Grillby shook his head. “Nothing that involves reading or writing of any kind. Colouring books are fine, just no regular books.” Bonnie huffed, crossing her arms.

“What if I read to them?” The bunny offered and Grillby was silent for a few seconds.

“I'll check to see if they are okay with it.” Bonnie nodded and Grillby entered his bar, spotting Sans carrying some napkins in his hands while Papyrus could be heard singing in the back. “Hey Sans, can you come here for a second?” Sans looked over and nodded, dropping the napkins on the table neatly before strolling over.

“Is she gone?”

“No, I'm making sure she knows what to do so you aren't uncomfortable. I have a question, though, do you know what a book is?” Sans nodded. “What about a story book?”

“Storybook? I don't understand, books don't have stories, they have information.”

“Well, some books can tell stories. Make believe stories that aren't exactly real, but are very entertaining and enjoyable.” Sans made a bewildered expression.

“Why? That sounds pointless. Why write a book about stuff that isn't real?” Grillby was starting to really doubt this book idea.

“It's fun, sometimes, usually they have colourful pictures to go along with the story. It's just like when you and Papyrus play outside. You use your imagination to create something that isn't real, but it's fun and entertaining.”

“Storybooks have pictures?” Sans asked, eyes wide.

“All kinds of pictures.”

“Papyrus will like that!” Sans eyes sparkled at the thought of the imagination book.

“Would you mind if Bonnie read some to you?” Sans pouted, amazed expression vanishing.

“I can read it!” Grillby quickly took in a deep breath.

“Uh-well, it's written differently.” The skeleton made a puzzled face before it turned into more of an annoyed expression.

“It's written in that funny language!” Sans pointed to the bedroom. Grillby assumed he was referring to the calendar Sans often stared at.

“Yea, it's written like that,” Sans grunted and shook his head.

“No, I don't want it. It doesn't make sense. I can't read it.”

“Would you be bothered if Bonnie read it to you?” Grillby questioned and Sans was about to say no but his attention was stolen by a rather high note Papyrus sang and he reconsidered the question.

“I don't know,” Sans mumbled, rubbing his arm slightly. “We can't read that. I don't want Papyrus asking questions about it.” Sans answered, already having to make up lies about what most words meant when his brother asked.

“I'll tell her not to bring any books, okay?” Sans nodded and Grillby stood up ready to exit, but Sans grabbed his pant leg and nervously peered up at him.

“S-She can bring one, but it-it has to be easy and have lots of pictures!” Grillby nodded, patting Sans' head before leaving.

“The verdict?” Bonnie asked.

“Make sure it's very easy to read and has a lot of pictures. Also, try to keep it as realistic as possible. I know a lot of children's books tend to be about dragons and stuff but don't go too overboard with the fantasy world. They get confused easily.” Bonnie nodded, smiling.

“Lots of pictures and no crazy adventure stories, I got it. Anything else you want to tell me?” Grillby went over a small list in his head before he shook his head. “Great, I'll see you tomorrow!” She called as she hopped off.

Grillby let out a long sigh and the rest of the night went well. They ate dinner and the boys made a small fort out of the pillows and blankets while Grillby read. By the time the outside world was dark, the boys had fallen asleep in their fort and Grillby lets out a small noise of affection. He rearranged the sheets and pillows before tucking both children in. Sans opened a tired eye, wondering what moved him, but after noticing it was just Grillby, he closed it and burrowed into the pillow. Grillby let out a small laugh before getting into bed and falling asleep.

The next morning the boys were awoken by Bonnie's cheerful voice filling the bar's silent air. Sans grunted as Papyrus squirmed out of his hold, eager to see Bonnie.

“They aren't even up yet? Grillby that will not do! You have stuff to do!”

“Pap,” Sans groaned as he heard Papyrus crawl off the bed. The elder brother opened his tired eyes and sat up, grumbling to himself.

“We slept in so late, brother!” Papyrus whispered, looking at the clock. “It's line, snake, circle!” Sans looked at the clock reading the time, 1:20, it was late. Sans let out a yawn before getting out of bed with Papyrus. “It is late, right Sans?” Papyrus sometimes got confused by the made up time scale Sans created. Sans, not being able to read it and being too stubborn to ask, made up his own way of telling the time. Ever though it confused him sometimes too, he was able to understand what it meant occasionally.

“Yeah, usually we are up by line line,” Sans said and Papyrus nodded.

“Boys?” Grillby asked, poking his head out from behind the door.

“Good morning! Is Bonnie here?” Papyrus asked and before Grillby could answer, he was pushed aside by the excited bunny.

“Good afternoon, kiddos! Who's ready for an exciting day with Bonnie!” Papyrus cheered, but Sans looked a lot less interested, giving Grillby a tired look. “Let's get some food in you two!” Bonnie called walking off to the kitchen, Papyrus following.

“Do you have to go?” Sans asked and Grillby lets out a laugh.

“You'll be fine. I'll stay for as long as you need.” Sans let out a sigh and walked in the direction the others went. Bonnie and Grillby both got the two skeleton brothers fed, bathed, and clothed before the four of them relaxed in the bar. Bonnie brought out her rather impressively large bag of toys and Papyrus almost fainted.

 “It's like that man! The Christmas present guy!” Papyrus shouted, jumping up and down.

“Santa?” Grillby asked and Papyrus lets out a squeal, nodding.

“Bonnie is just like Santa!”

“I am far better than Santa, my dear Papyrus!” Bonnie gloated, reaching her hand into the bag. “Would Santa know how much you would really like these!?” The bunny pulled out a two action figures and Papyrus' eye sockets widened.

“What are those!” Papyrus' hands reached out to grab them, Sans now leaning away from Grillby to look at the toys as well.

“Action figures!” Bonnie beamed. Papyrus slowly moved an arm and gasped. He moved the other arm and gasped again turned to his brother.

“They move!” Sans took hold of one of the toys and examined it. Both children were fascinated by the spinning arms and kicking legs, Papyrus beginning to make sound effects with each movement.

“Sans, I have something for you as well!” Sans watched Bonnie, trying to hide his excitement. Bonnie shuffled around the bag and pulled out a notebook, pencils, and crayons. The elder skeleton looked them over suspiciously before looking up at Grillby. Grillby nodded to them and so Sans took the gifted items and looked them over.

“What is this?” Sans asked, holding up the crayon. Bonnie grinned, opening up the notebook and taking a blue crayon out of the box. She drew a small bunny shaped doodle with a large smiley face. “Oh wow,” Sans whispered, pulling out a green crayon and drawing a line across the paper. “It's so colourful!”

“You got twenty-four colours to choose from, kiddo! Go nuts!” Papyrus quickly lost interest in his action figures and rushed over to grab a red crayon. “See Grillby? I told you I can get this.” Bonnie muttered smugly. Grillby had to admit, he was quite impressed. With just a pack of crayons and a notebook, Bonnie had managed to not only get Papyrus to sit still for more than five minutes but also managed to make Sans smile.

“How much did you even bring?” Grillby asked, noting the bag wasn't even halfway empty. Papyrus noticed it as well, abandoning his drawing to rush over. The small skeleton all but dove into the bag, his arms buried deep inside pulling out different items.

“What's this?” Papyrus asked, holding up a toy car.

“That's a car!” Papyrus set it on the ground, pushing it forward and letting out a loud shriek of joy as it rolled away, bumping into Sans' notebook, grabbing the other skeleton's attention. “Sans look at this!” Papyrus held up a stuffed animal and waddled over to his brother. “It's soft!” Sans extended his hand, brushing it against the toy and letting out a small noise of amazement.

“You know what animal that is?” Bonnie asked both boys shook their head. “It's a bear! That's a teddy bear, a stuffed animal.”

“Teddy bear,” Sans repeated, staring at the bear. Papyrus squeezed it against his chest, cheeks flushed with happiness.

“It's soft and warm like a pillow!” He stated and Sans stood up, intrigued by what else was in the mystery bag.

“Want to see what else is inside? We have a few more things left.” Bonnie said in a sing-song voice. Sans eyes darted between the bag and Bonnie, carefully inching his way closer before poking his head inside. Sans spotted a few more car shaped toys, a large red ball, a pile of wooden shaped objects, four boxes, and a pile of books. The elder brother carefully wrapped his bony fingers around a box and pulled it out, setting it down on the floor before crouching down and opening it. Inside were numerous small pieces all with holes or pointed ends, each one appearing more different than the last. Sans picked up a piece and looked it over, frowning a bit as he dropped it back into the box.

“That's a puzzle!” Bonnie stated.

“I know,” Sans said, shuffling the pieces around. “I'm just not use to seeing one so...easy.” Grillby glanced at the lid noticing the 500-piece logo and glancing back up at Sans.

“It's 500 pieces, what exactly are you used to?” Sans picked up the box, squinting at it.

“3,000,” Sans stated and Bonnie and Grillby looked at each other, sharing the same stunned look. “I think I had one that was 5,000, but I haven't done one in a while.” The skeleton closed the box looked at the three other ones checking to see if they all looked the same. “Are they all this easy?” Sans wondered more to himself, but Bonnie began to sweat a bit.

“Jeez, Grill. I knew the kid liked to learn but you didn't tell me he was a genius.” Bonnie mumbled.

“Grillby what's this one?” Sans pointed to the box with a different number and Grillby leaned in a bit to look it over.

“1,000.” Sans nodded and stacked it with the rest of the puzzles.

“Do you enjoy doing puzzles?” Bonnie asked and Sans shrugged.

“They are fun.”

“Did you do them a lot before?” Another shrug.

“When I was younger. They help with hand-eye coordination, motor skills, both gross and fine, problem-solving, shape recognition and memory.” Sans spoke in almost a bored tone, eyes quickly widening as he processed what he said.

“I told you he was smart!” Bonnie stated, scowling at Grillby.

“I never said he wasn't.” Grillby retorted and Bonnie huffed, bending down to Sans level, the skeleton taking a few steps back.

“You are a little genius, huh?” The bunny asked and Sans flushed a bit.

“Sans is super smart!” Papyrus shouted from his fortress of toys. “He knows everything!”

“Pap,” Sans muttered, embarrassed.

“Oh, there isn't a doubt in my mind! This kid is going to be a doctor or a scientist or an engineer! He might even be the next Royal Scientist!” Bonnie stated proudly as if Sans was her own child. Sans started up at her, eye sockes wide, pupils gone, teeth clenched. Papyrus' head shot up, eyes large and face laced with concern.

“Brother?” The skeleton called getting no response back. Papyrus stepped forward, calling out once again, but Sans refused to face him. Sans eyes slowly began to narrow until he was glaring at Bonnie.

“Bonnie, back away.” Grillby calmly ordered. Sans let out a low growl and Bonnie cautiously took a step back, but an invisible force pushed her front, causing her to fall over.

“Sans!” Papyrus grabbed Sans' arm, tugging him away, but Sans was planted firmly into the ground. Papyrus whimpered as he placed his hands over Sans' chest, the soft glow of magic surrounding them, but Sans didn’t change.

Sans wasn't scared, he was enraged.

“G-Grillby I can't do anything! I can't-” Papyrus cried, voice breaking off in a whine as Sans let out another snarl, eye flickering in the hollow socket. “He's mad. I can't calm him down when he's angry!” Grillby stepped forward, standing between Sans and Bonnie. He knelt down next to Sans, the skeleton tried desperately to look past him, but Grillby held onto his head.

“Sans, listen to me, please,” Grillby said calmly, Sans' head jerking back, trying to break free. “You need to calm down. Nobody meant to offend you. I need you to nod your head if you can hear me.” A low rumble sounded from the skeleton and Grillby wasn't sure if it was an answer or not. “Sans, I need you to respond to me. A growl is not a good response.” Sans quit jerking around, letting out a moan, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Stop it!” Sans whined, trying once more to look away but was unable to. “Let me go!” Grillby released Sans and he turned away, rubbing his skull, mumbling to himself. Papyrus stood by Sans, hands checking to make sure he was okay, offering to help him, but Sans grunted and gently pushed his hands off. “Pap, stop,” Sans mumbled, trying to calm himself down.

“Sans come on, let's go to the back and-” Grillby tried to pick him up, but Sans whined, slapping the hands away.

“Don't touch me! Please, just don't touch me.” Sans begged and Grillby stepped back. “I can walk just don't touch,” Sans said as he began walking to the bedroom, bumping into few objects along the way due to his eyes being closed and head cast down.

“I'm sorry, did I do something?” Bonnie asked, looking quite shaken up. The warnings and concerns Grillby stated, suddenly making a lot of sense.

“You didn't mean to, he's just finicky. Stay here with Papyrus, I'll be right back.” Grillby said walking to Papyrus. “Stay here with, Bonnie okay? I'll go make sure Sans is alright.” Papyrus nodded, watching Grillby disappear behind the door. Grillby spotted Sans in the closet, the open door telling him where he was. He was curled up, hands covering his head, hood pulled up halfway. Grillby opened the other side of the closet and sat down on the ground next to Sans.

“You said she was nice,” Sans spoke, clearly angry.

“What did she say that made you so mad?” Sans shook his head, fingers digging into his arms. “Was it the doctor comment?” Sans tensed up, a faint growl escaping him.

“Why would she say that?” Sans spat out, glaring harshly at Grillby. “Doctor? Royal Scientists? Why would she say that?!” Sans screamed, vision becoming blurry. “I'm not that! I'm not like him! Why would she say that?!”

“Like who? Sans, why did that upset you? Nobody meant to make you angry.” Sans let out a dry laugh, turning away from Grillby, blinking away angry tears.

“Why would she say that?” Sans muttered, trying desperately to cling to his rage instead of allowing it to melt into sadness. “I'm not like that. I'm not mean. I'm not cruel. Is there something wrong with me? Did he really-” Sans sobbed and Grillby inched closer, waiting for Sans to rest his body against the fire monster before he hugged the child.

“Sans nothing is wrong with you. You are perfectly safe and normal.” Sans shook his head, letting out a quiet sob.

“T-Then, why did she say that?”

“We didn't know it would upset you, Sans. Had I known I would have made sure to tell her, but nobody knew. She didn't mean to make you this upset. Those words aren't offensive to us. They are just professions for people who are very intelligent.”

“What? Profession?” Sans asked, looking up at Grillby.

“Yeah, it's just a job. Just like I'm a bar owner. It's my job, my profession. Doctors, scientists, they are just jobs people have.” Sans shook his head, eye bone furrowed.

“No. No. they aren't jobs. They are monsters. They are bad.”

“I-” Grillby took a deep breath and slowly let it out, calming his head. “No, Sans, that's not right. Maybe the monsters you knew were scientists or doctors, but that's just a job. It's the people who are bad, not the jobs.”

“No, that's not right. His name was doctor. He had a doctor in his name.” Grillby pushed away from the nauseous feeling, focusing on keeping his body temperature normal.

“You can become a doctor by getting a degree.”

“W-What?” Sans had stopped crying now too perplexed to focus on tears.

“A degree, like what you get from school.” Of course, Sans didn't know about school. “It doesn't matter, you can get this special paper that allows you to be called a doctor but there are many different kinds. A normal doctor helps people feel better and heals monsters.”

“He never healed.” Gaster only hurt.

“Maybe he wasn't a normal doctor then or at least not a good one. What matters right now is that you understand that Bonnie didn't mean to upset you. Doctors here are nice, and being a scientist is very impressive.”

“I don't like that,” Sans admitted, shaking his head. “I don't want to be called that. I don't ever want to be that.”

“I'll let her know that and this won't happen again. I can't tell her what I don't know, Sans. You have to let me know if someone said something you didn't like so I can tell them. You can't just get angry at them, they didn't know any better.” Sans understood what Grillby meant, but was only use to that way of thinking because of Papyrus. Gaster had always gotten mad at Sans for no reason. Sans could never avoid his rage. Gaster never told Sans why he got angry, only commented on what Sans did wrong, never what he was supposed to do. Now Sans had trouble controlling his own rage. He just let it consume him instead of talking. Talking was useless.

“I'll try.” The skeleton said and Grillby nodded.

“That's all I ask.” The bartender said with a smile. “You ready to go back out?” Sans nodded and allowed Grillby to hold his hand as the two entered the bar. Bonnie and Papyrus looked up from the puzzle they started, the smaller skeleton leaping out of the chair and over to his brother.

“Brother, are you okay?” Papyrus asked, holding the hand Grillby's released. Sans smiled and nodded, pulling his brother into a hug.

“I'm fine, I'm sorry I scared you.” Sans apologized.

“Sans,” Bonnie called, the elder skeleton looking up at her. The bunny stood a bit farther away than normal, most likely not wanting to make the skeleton any more uncomfortable than she already had. “I'm really very sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any distress.” Sans clicked his teeth together, glancing over at Grillby.

“I-...m... I'm sorry I got mad.” Sans mumbled, blushing slightly, avoiding everyone's gaze. “I fight instead of act. I shouldn't have pushed you.” Sans was a dark blue by the time he finished talking. Grillby flame was at least a foot higher in shock at the apology. Papyrus stared up at his older brother with stars in his eyes while Bonnie's face broke out into a wide grin.

“Apology accepted?” The bunny asked hand extended out to Sans. Sans hesitated, but eventually took the hand, shaking it as lightly as possible.

“Apology accepted,” Bonnie smiled, two buck teeth clearly visible, the silly look was contagious and Sans felt his own smile slowly form. Bonnie glanced up at the clock and gasped, turning to Grillby.

“You need to go sign your paperwork!”

“I don't think I should today. Maybe it's best-”

“Go,” Sans stated, arms wrapped around Papyrus who was rocking them back and forth.

“Sans, are you sure? I can really do this some other time.” Sans nodded, looking at Bonnie for a few seconds.

“We're fine.” Grillby couldn't argue with Sans. Instead, he gave them both hugs and pulled Bonnie outside, telling her about dinner, bedtime, and to never bring up the words doctor or scientist in front of Sans, among a few other words. Bonnie finally managed to get Grillby to leave, almost having to push him away. She entered the closed bar and let out a huff, paws resting on her hips.

“Who's hungry?” Both skeletons raised their hands and Bonnie nodded, walking over to the table they were around.

“Sans is finishing the puzzle,” Papyrus informed Bonnie, the two monsters watched the elder skeleton's hands swiftly move around, turning over pieces and connecting them at what appeared to be random guesses, but always correct.

“I think there is a picture on the box to help you out,” Bonnie informed the skeleton who shook his head, connecting several pieces in a row.

“Don't need it.” Sans was focused in on the puzzle, within minutes having half of it completed.

“So dinner, what do you guys want?” Papyrus shrugged flicking around a piece of the puzzle before Sans took it and connected it.

“Grillby usually makes dinner. He makes good food.”

“I bet I could cook a meal better than he can.” Bonnie challenged and Papyrus giggled shaking his head, Sans letting out a scoff.

“Grillby makes the best food!” Papyrus stated and Bonnie pursed her fuzzy lips, turning away slightly.

“I bet I could bring you two a meal so good you'd beg me to make you dinner every day,” Bonnie grinned, turning back around. “Let’s bet on it!”

“Bet on it?” Papyrus questioned and Bonnie nodded.

“I'll make you guys some mushroom Alfredo. If it's better than anything Grillby has ever made for you, I want to tell me something I don't know about you. Nothing personal, just a fun little fact.” Sans finger clicked against the table, stabbing the last piece of the puzzle in place.

“And if we don't like it?” Sans asked, interested in the small challenge.

“Then you can stay up till 11.”

“And you have to tell us about you!” Papyrus added and Bonnie nodded.

“Fair enough.” She extended a hand to both of them, the skeletal brothers shook the hand and Bonnie grinned. “I'm off to make dinner!”

“How do we know you won't cheat?” Sans questioned and the bunny motioned to the kitchen.

“Follow me and make sure I don't.” And they did.

Papyrus and Sans watched with great interest as Bonnie prepared their dinner. She boiled the noodles, cut fresh vegetables and sautéed them in butter and garlic, the Alfredo came in a jar that Bonnie allowed Papyrus to open with a little help from his brother. After cutting up the mushroom and letting the food cook, the two boy's mouths were watering as Bonnie set down the plate in front of them. Sans was a bit warier of the food, tasting each item individually unlike Papyrus who stuffed his face full of noodles.

 “This is delicious!” Papyrus shouted, mouth full of food. Bonnie smiled smugly glancing over at Sans who was barely able to hold back his moans of delight at each bite.

“Better than Grillby?” Bonnie pressed and Papyrus nodded, but Sans didn't respond till the entire meal was over. “Sans?”

“Well...” Sans ran his fork over the empty plate, prolonging his answer.

“Come on, Sansy!” Bonnie grinned and Sans blushed at the name.

“S-Sansy?” The bunny monster's face quickly morphed into one of concern.

“That doesn't bother you, right? Little nicknames just kinda come up sometimes.”

“It's fine,” Sans muttered, setting his fork down. “The food was good too. Better than Grillby.” Bonnie let out a laugh, triumphantly stomping around from behind the bar.

“Ha ha! Keep up your end of the deal boys! One fact!”

“My favourite colour is red!” Papyrus announced and Bonnie nodded.

“Your turn, Sansy.” Sans glanced around the room trying to think of a fact he'd like to share.

“I like ketchup,” Sans stated and Bonnie snorted.

“How much do you like it? A lot or a little?” Sans glanced at the bottle beside him and took it in his hand, squirting it into his mouth.

“Brother!” Papyrus whined and Sans laughed.

“Well, one fun fact about me is that I have an adorable baby sister named Lola.”

“You didn't lose, though. Why did you tell us?” Papyrus asked and Bonnie shrugged.

“More fun.” She said with a wink. “Want to hear something about Grillby?” Both boys leaned in closer, Papyrus practically laying on the counter. “Did you know that Grillby fought in the war against humans?”

“Wow! Really?” Papyrus asked, more interested in the idea of Grillby fighting than the war both skeletons weren't too familiar with.

“Yeah! He's one of the few monsters left that fought in it. I think there are maybe six in total now.” Bonnie stated, thinking it over.

“He's super old!” Bonnie let out a loud laugh at Papyrus' statement. 

“He is, huh? Doesn't look it, though, must be his glowing completion.” Bonnie joked causing Sans to let out a loud snort.

The afternoon and the late evening went by quickly. The three monsters had a blast. Between timing Sans on puzzles to almost filling up the entire notebook up with drawings, none of the monsters realized how late it had gotten until Papyrus let out a loud yawn and Bonnie stole a quick glance at the clock.

“Crap you two, it's time for bed!” Bonnie stated sitting up from the lazy floor position. “Go brush your teeth and change, I'll be right there to tuck you in.” The skeletons walked off and Bonnie searched through her bag, pulling out a story her younger nephew seems to adore so much. Walking into the bedroom, Bonnie smiled at both of the brothers, who are snuggled in the bed, watching Bonnie.

“That book is very colourful.” Papyrus pointed out and Bonnie sat on the edge of the bed, resting the book on her lap.

“You two want me to read it to you?” Papyrus nodded, pushing Sans closer to Bonnie so he could see the pages. The bunny cleared her throat and opened up the book to the cover page.

“The fluffy bunny.” She said and began to read. Bonnie's voice was so animated throughout the entire story, voice fluctuating and changing for each character, entertaining both children. She let the skeletons look over the colourful pages as she read out loud, pointing to different scenes as she spoke. Nearing the end of the book, Bonnie's ear twitched as she heard the front door open. Both skeletons were fast asleep, curled up next to each other and Bonnie tucked them both in before exiting the room. Grillby was back in his bar, picking up the mess the children had made. He looked up when hearing Bonnie and nodded.

“They asleep?”

“Yep left the door open and light on like you said.” She whispered, going over to help clean up.

“Nothing happened? Everything was fine right?” Bonnie nodded carefully putting the puzzle away.

“They were angels. I told you I could handle it. Both children were perfect.”

“You didn't tell me you got the whole town involved,” Grillby grumbled, changing the subject. Bonnie concealed her laughter behind her paw, face breaking out into a mischievous grin.

“Didn't I?”

“Bonnie, seriously that was too much.” Bonnie waved her paw at him, rolling her eyes.

“Please, they practically begged me to let them help. I couldn't keep them away. Especially those guard members! Those dogs would not rest until it was perfect. I wanted it to be mild, y’know? Ready for you to fix up or add to but they went bananas.”

“I don't know how I could ever make this up to you guys. It's so much.”

“Grillby, you have been this town's staple since its creation. If anything, this is our way of showing you how much we care and how thankful we are to have you.”

“Jeez, if I could cry I'd probably be shedding a tear or two,” Grillby admitted, smiling down at the doodle Papyrus most likely made of all four of them.

“You old softy!” Bonnie joked, pulling Grillby into a hug. “Let me know how it goes! I'm heading home.”

“Wait your stuff!” Bonnie waved him off once more.

“It's their stuff now. Merry early Christmas.” Bonnie sang before exiting the bar.


	7. Christmas and Sweater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combination of Christmas and Sweater

On Christmas morning, Grillby woke up earlier than the skeleton brothers and carefully got up, surprised Sans didn't wake up as he did so. The bar owner had Christmas plans for the first time in years. Most of his Christmas breaks he either spent time with his family or by himself, perfectly content with curling up in his bed with a book. This year, though, would be different and that excited him. Getting changed into his casual clothes, Grillby leaned over, shaking the children's shoulders gently causing them both to groan, Sans rolling over to grab onto Papyrus.

“Hey, come on, I got a surprise for you two. Want me to carry you?” San cracked and eye open, looking at Grillby who had already grabbed their jackets and held them out for them. Papyrus didn't open his eyes, just lifted his arms up signalling that he wished to be carried. As Sans got his own jacket on, Grillby helped Papyrus, who just continued to sleep through the whole thing. Sans slid out of bed, leaning up to grab his brother but Grillby was a step ahead, letting Papyrus snuggle up to his warm body and Sans frowned holding out his arm making grabbing motions to Papyrus.

“I got 'im,” Sans grumbled tiredly but Grillby just leaned down and picked Sans up causing the older skeleton to whine and fidget. As soon as Grillby stepped outside Sans shivered and stopped squirming so he could lean in closer to his personal fire heat source. The bar owner carried the brothers down the street, not realizing how early it actually was until he saw that no one appeared to be awake yet.

Perhaps he was a bit too eager.

“Where?” Sans asked, eyes still tired, but not allowing himself to sleep like Papyrus.

“A Christmas surprise.” Sans grunted and Grillby continued walking down the road. Only after a few minutes of walking, did he stop in front of a large house. Sans looked up at it, blinking sleepily before letting out a whine, starting to kick and push against him.

“You woke us up for a stupid house?” Grillby set Sans down, digging into his pocket and pulling out a single house key.

“Our stupid house.” Sleep faded away and was replaced with confusion.

“What?”

“It's a bit sudden, I know, but I figured you two would want your own room one day. Plus my place is too small for three monsters, it was about time I upgraded.” Sans eyed the house and Grillby. Did he buy a house?

“You just bought a house?” Sans eyes narrowed.

“I just bought a house for us,” Grillby stressed the last few words, waving his hand to the three of them and Sans was dumbfounded. “Want to go inside?”

“What? Wait, no, I don't understand. What is this? What-I-” Sans couldn't find words. “Monsters live in houses. Are we-...are me and Pap living here?”

“With me, yeah.”

“But-but why? Do-do you want something? Is something inside? Why would you give us this?” Sans was breathing heavily, panicking. Something had to be inside right? Sans had never received anything this massive before, he could only imagine the price to come. As if sensing his brother's distress, Papyrus let out a small whine, catching his brother's attention. Grillby knelt down, allowing Sans to grab Papyrus and he slowly regained his composure. He was still scared, but Papyrus was holding onto him, his magic and presence calming him down.

“Brother, what's wrong?” Papyrus asked, sleeping through the entire conversation.

“We-He-...I uh-” Sans stumbled over his words and Grillby gave the key to Papyrus.

“We got a house.” Papyrus' eye sockets widened, looking at the key, then back at Sans who hesitantly nodded. One of the largest smiles Sans had ever seen his brother have spread across his face and Sans forgot all of his troubles. Papyrus tugged Sans' shirt until he stood in front of the door, holding Papyrus up so that his brother could unlock the door. With a small click, the door opened up and Papyrus jumped free from Sans' grasp and ran in. Sans felt his magic prickle to life as he expected an attack, a person, something inside the house. Taking a step inside, Sans couldn't feel a threat, let alone see one. The house was furnished but empty of life.

“It's so big!” Papyrus shouted excitedly and Sans felt excitement bubble up inside of him. This-this was real, Grillby had bought them a house. Sans and Papyrus had a house-a home! No more street, no more cold snow, they had a home! Sans let out a small laugh, unable to stop the smile on his face as the warm feeling grew. His feet carried him in the house, no longer careful about a possible threat. He ran to the stairs, climbing them two at a time as he rushed over to the doors, throwing them open before moving onto the next. These bedrooms were huge, twice the size of the one Grillby had, and to Sans, that one was pretty large as well.

“Papyrus come here!” Sans called out, listening to his brother climb up the steps and rush over to the room. “Look at this, this is a bedroom! This-this is our bedroom!” Papyrus was excited about the house, but the look on his elder brother's face was something far better. Papyrus had never seen Sans this happy, this lively, this excited. They both were overwhelmed, tears threatening to spill on both parts. Grillby watched from the doorway, having followed Papyrus up, and even he was getting rather emotional over the brother's joy.

Grillby was willing to bet there wasn't a damn kid in the entire town who was going to be as happy as this on Christmas, and Grillby didn't even show them their presents yet. True, the house was a present for them, but it was more of a present for them as a whole. The family unit Grillby now had a way of finally making it official.

“Like it?” The two boys looked up at Grillby, unaware he was watching them explore the room.

“L-Like it? Ha, it's awesome! I-it's perfect! It's-it's-” Sans tears began to fall, the skeleton unable to hold back his tears of joy. Papyrus sniffled dashing over to Grillby to wrap his arms around him. Sans followed after, both skeletons a sobbing mess as they clung onto Grillby's pants.

“I don't even know what it all is, but I love it!” Sans cried, pulling away to look back at the room. “I don't know what that weird double bed thing is, but I love it! I don't know what that weird squishy dough thing is, but I love it! I don't know what colour the carpet is, but it's the prettiest colour I've ever seen!” Sans ranted, allowing Grillby to pull him into a warm hug.

“It's all your stuff now. This house is all yours. This room, the kitchen, the bathroom, this is part of your home now.” Grillby told the children, the two shaking as the sobs tore through their bony bodies. He picked them up, cradling one in each arm, their small arm wrapped around his neck as he walked into the room more. “You want to know what all this is?” Grillby asked and they both nodded, snivelling.

“What's that?” Sans asked, pointing to the bed as he wiped his face.

“It's a bunk bed,” Grillby stated, walking over to it. “It has two beds on it for you guys so you can sleep in the same room, but not always share the same bed.”

“I like sharing a bed,” Papyrus said, Sans agreeing.

“You don't have to use both of them. It's just there in case you want to use it.” Grillby kicked his foot in the direction of the pile of toys. “Bonnie and the guards got you all off these. We have stuffed animals, puzzles, cars, action figures, building blocks, and probably more. To be honest, they got you so much still I haven't even seen it all. I know that there are books and drawing stuff over by the desk.” Grillby turned to the wall opposite of the bed, the desk was large and could easily accommodate both small skeletons. There was a small shelf lined with books and shelves all over the walls decorated with toys and empty picture frames Grillby would need to fill.

“There's too much.” Sans sniffed, running his sleeve across his nose.

“I agree, but you can't tell Bonnie to take it easy. She doesn't know the meaning of the words too much.” Sans let out a small laugh, hiccupping slightly. “Let's see the rest of the house, okay? Then you guys can show me what else is hidden in here.” The boys nodded and the bartender exited the room and slowly went about exploring the house. He showed them the bathroom and his room, went down the stairs to show them the living room, dining room, and kitchen. Each room the children pointed at something and questioned what it was. By the end of the tour, Grillby ended up in the kitchen, the skeletons sitting on the counter as Grillby prepared a snack.

“When can we live here?” Papyrus asked a Grillby handed him a cut up apple.

“Today, if you'd like.” The fire element responded, offering the same treat to Sans.

“Today!” Papyrus cheered, mouth full of chewed up apple.

“Sound good to you Sans?” Grillby asked, noticing Sans reluctance to eat, eyes just staring at the apple slices.

“This...This is ours?” Sans questioned, eyes searching Grillby for and lie or falsehood as he spoke.

“Ours,” Grillby responded.

“No-no catch? No cost? No-”

“Nothing,” Grillby responded, pulling out two keys, one blue the other red. “Yours.” Grillby handed the blue key over to Sans, giving the red one to Papyrus who was more interested in his food. Sans stared at the key, eyes filling up with tears once more.

“T-This is our home?” Sans voice cracked and Grillby wiped away the tears in his eyes.

“I'll carve your name into the house if that's what you want. This house is your home, both of you guys can call this place your home.” Sans started to cry again, and Grillby felt oddly at peace about it. It was sad watching his new children cry, but knowing that Sans was so happy, most likely the happiest he's ever been, so happy that he could not contain his emotions, he was overwhelming. The three hugged, only losing tension as Papyrus pulled away slightly to grab one of Sans' apple slices, breaking the silence by chewing loudly in everyone's ears. A loud laugh escaped Sans, moving onto Grillby before Papyrus followed along, the three giggling, their joy echoing throughout the house.

Things got better, for all of them. Although Grillby didn't really have a bad life to begin with, being perfectly content with his bar and occasional family visits, he never knew he could be so much happier just by taking care of two stray kids. Sans and Papyrus had sparked a new side of Grillby that he'd never known existed. The bar owner would never go as far as to call himself a father around the skeletons in any way, but the way he felt sometimes was, for lack of better words, paternal.

The week after Christmas, Bonnie took the boys shopping and they began buying more furniture and decorations for their home. It started off simple, a few things to hang on the walls or maybe a shirt or two, but once the town noticed the three out in public, the gifts piled up. Most were for the brothers, offering clothes, toys and some other small things to keep them busy during the working hours, Grillby never once complained. The boys’ bedroom was now filled with stuff, drawers almost unable to close due to how many items were thrown inside and the boys were more than happy to have their own little sanctuary filled with toys.

Today was the day after New Years and Grillby had taken the boys into work today like usual. Sans and Papyrus attempted to get more social by slowly entering the bar with customers still in. Although usually Sans didn't allow Papyrus to leave with more than three people in the bar, today Sans and Papyrus were playing around in the back and Papyrus had run out the door and into the bar, Sans blindly chasing after him. A few faces the skeletons recognized smiled down at them, but the bar was definitely much more cluttered than usual. Papyrus giggled, running behind the bar and between Grillby’s legs, Sans chased after him, feeling better behind the bar and away from watchful eyes.

“Grillby! Grillby, Sans is going to get me!” Papyrus laughed dodging Sans' leap at him.

“Boys, not around my feet,” Grillby told them and Papyrus stumbled a bit as he tripped on the small carpet behind the bar before running back out. The elder skeleton grinned, using the stumble to catch up, his finger catching around Papyrus' scarf. Papyrus spun around, the scarf flinging free, but the dizziness caused him to bump into a suit of armor. A tail began to wag aggressively and a large shadow covered the two boys as the customer stood up. Sans grin vanished in seconds, Papyrus was rubbing his skull, face contorted in discomfort. Sans blinked over to Papyrus, grabbing him before picking him up and taking a few steps back. The figure turned around, peering down at the two, trembling with excitement, but Sans mistook it for rage.

“New friend?!” The dog bark out ready to pounce on the skeletons. The older skeleton flinched violently at the sudden and loud voice. Sans felt his eyes glow, not burning but turning the cyan blue, a snarl passing his teeth. His magic faded when he saw a wall of flame form between the giant dog and the brothers. Grillby stepped in front of Sans, the bar silent.

“No,” Grillby warned, his flame body looking more red than usual, and Sans was shocked at how firm and demanding his tone was. The dog whimpered, sitting back down and the wall of flame vanished. The commotion in the bar picked back up now that the scene was resolved. The owner turned around, colour returning and tone back to normal as he knelt down in front of the brothers. “Try not to play around too much out here. Everyone here means well, but it's rude to bump into them.” Sans said nothing, still shocked at the scene, but Papyrus nodded, sliding out of Sans weak grip. “Papyrus apologize for bumping into the customer.”

“I'm sorry.” Papyrus looked at the ground, and the dog's tail wagged softly.

“Be careful with these two, pup.” Grillby warned stepping back behind the bar. “Sans will rip your head off.” Grillby teased and Sans blushed a bit, grabbing onto Papyrus and pulling him back behind the bar.

That night when Papyrus was snoring away in the bottom bunk with Sans, the older brother couldn't sleep. He slid out of the bed, glancing over at Papyrus once more before leaving. Sans stepped into the hallway, making his way to the other bedroom. He paused outside the door, spotting no light peeking out from the door and Sans wondered if Grillby was asleep. One of his hands gripped onto the edge of his nightshirt before he reached up, turning the knob to open the door. Sans peered in through the small crack he made, Grillby was sitting up in the bed, book in hand. Sans pushed open the door and caught the bar owner's attention. Grillby folded the book and set it down on the bedside table.

“Yes, Sans?” Sans padded over to the edge of the bed. He glanced up at Grillby as if asking for permision to climb into the bed. “Come here.” The bartender called, picking Sans up and placing him on the bed. Sans crawled under the sheets, poking his head out.

“Why'd you stop that guy earlier?” Sans asked suddenly, rolling over to look up at Grillby.

“What do you mean?”

“You made the firewall, why?” Sans eyes bored into Grillby and Grillby rested an arm behind his head.

“Knew the big guy was going to pounce. He gets excited with new people. Tends to be real lovey and cuddly. I got worried about you and casted a wall.” Sans stared at him, contemplating something.

“You were worried, about me? Why? I can protect myself.”

“No doubt about it, kid. I bet you could protect yourself against a whole lot of shit. The big guy didn't know that, though. Hate to see something happen to him or my bar.”

“So you were worried about collateral damage?”

“What? No, Sans, I was worried about you freaking out. I'm sure Papyrus is more than capable of walking on his own, so why do you hold his hand all the time?”

“Because I'm worried he'll fall or trip or run off.”

“Why are you worried so much?”

“He's my brother, I care about him. I love him.” Sans seemed to be offended by the questions.

“Same thing, Sans. I worry about you two because I care about you. I know you can take care of yourself and your brother, but that doesn't mean I won't watch out for you when I can. Especially when it's a situation I know I can help avoid. I was really concerned about your wellbeing because I know how you are in situations where you feel cornered. You were probably, scared, nervous, wanted to make sure your brother was safe, wanted to protect him, and run. So I stepped in because I wanted to protect you and make you feel safe.” Grillby looked down at Sans who stared up at him with a sad expression.

“I've done nothing but mean to you, and you still care. You bought us a house, clothes, give us food, even tuck us in at night. We haven't done anything to return it if anything I've only made the debt more by being so bothersome.”

“Sans, you've never had a pet before, huh?” Sans shook his head and Grillby hummed a bit. “Suppose it's a bad example but, my sister-in-law got my niece this pet, well they found it under their house, all dirty and beat up. After leading it inside with food, they caught it and tried to help it out. They bathed it, kept feeding it, the entire time the damn thing hated them. It attacked them, wouldn't let it near them, always tried to escape, but my niece is a tough girl. Her dad wanted to toss the thing out, but she wouldn't let him. After a while, the pet started to attack less, came out from hiding all the time, let her pet it. In just a few years, you wouldn't even believe it was even the same thing. It loves meeting new people, cuddling, hardly ever bites or scratches. Sure, sometimes it gets pretty skittish and can get spooked really easily, but it's still alive and getting better. If she had given up and tossed it out, the thing may have been dead by now for all we know.”

“So we're your pets? That's pretty freaky old man.” Sans smiled and Grillby chuckled a bit.

“You get what I mean, though, right Sans? I know you aren't a bad kid. You and your brother have been through some bad stuff, I can see it. I just want you two to be happy, and already you have changed so much since you first got here. I don't want to sound like some overbearing parental figure, but we are a little family, I care about you little boneheads and I hope you two grow to think of this place as your home.” Sans latched onto Grillby and burrowed his face in his chest. His shoulders were shaking slightly as he nodded his head.

Sans and Grillby’s relationship seemed to get even better now that Sans seemed almost as cheerful as Papyrus at times. Both inside the house and out, he seemed a lot less protective when it came to Papyrus or himself when the bar owner was around him. The two brothers were recognizing faces more often, and even greeting a few people on their way home every day or during bar hours. Of course, Papyrus was usually the one to greet most of the monsters first, eagerly waving and at times shouting out a 'hello!', but Sans no longer hid behind the bar or Papyrus and just yesterday smiled and waved at Bonnie.

Grillby still wondered about the boys past. He'd never confront them about it, knowing that past attempts on just asking a vague question caused both boy's discomfort and made Papyrus sad or confused while Sans appeared angrier and scared. All that mattered now was that they were happier and far better off here than anywhere else they had been prior. Sans had the occasional scare every now and then, triggering Grillby's repressed curiosity, but it was usually always manageable and easy to spot. Papyrus seemed to be able to help Sans when Grillby couldn't. The older brother at often times would fall into a depressed state, seeming a lot less animated than usual. During those days, Papyrus would just hug his brother, the faintest hint of orange glowing from his hands as he rubbed his brother back until Sans cheered up. Grillby had tried to do more for Sans, offering him someone to talk to, giving him his space, trying every method he had heard of, but if all Sans needed was his brother, than Grillby wasn't going to argue. All the bartender did was give the skeletons some space.

The royal guard dog lovers occasionally stopped by the bar at odd hours, watching the boys with interest or giving Grillby a knowing look. The bartender kept them informed on what he knew, but still refused to allow them near Sans. The information Grillby could offer was minuscule due to Sans never mentioning a name or location other than a doctor, but it was all the dogs were getting. He'd sooner burn his bar to the ground rather than let them interrogate his child.

“Have you seen, Pap?” Grillby looked up from his book, staring at Sans who was looking a bit under the weather. His hands kept fiddling with a small stuffed dog Papyrus loved to play with, eyes shifting between the dog and Grillby.

“He went out around twenty minutes ago to play with Bonnie's niece.” Sans nodded, climbing on the couch so he could peer out the window, easily spotting his younger brother running around with a few other children.

“He forgot his sweater,” Sans mumbled, to himself mainly.

“He's got on the jacket. I'm sure he'll be fine.” Sans clicked his teeth, a habit Grillby noted Sans did whenever the skeleton was nervous or worried. “Everything alright?” Sans squeezed the stuffed dog a few times, not taking his eyes off his brother.

“Just wondering where he went,” Sans muttered and Grillby stuck the bookmark into his book, setting it on the coffee table.

“Want me to go get him?” Sans clearly wasn't feeling very well, whether it was another depressive mood or just emotional funk, Papyrus was the quickest and easiest solution.

“No,” Sans' death grip on the dog eased up, “he's having fun. I'll-I'll be fine.” Sans' words weren't too convincing, but it's the best he could offer. He didn't want to pry his brother away from his friends because he was having an episode. He could wait it out. As long as he kept a levelled head, he'd be fine. It was almost dinner time anyways, just a few hours and then Sans could get his brother.

“Sans, if you're having a bad day, it's best to get him now. You know he won't mind.” That was the problem. Sans frowned, holding the dog in his hands, pressing it to his chest, hugging it tightly.

“He wouldn't mind if I told him to never go outside again. Papyrus would come inside and wouldn't go back even if I feel better. He worries too much. Papyrus is happy outside, don't bother him.” Sans caught Papyrus looking back at the house, waving at Sans who forced a convincing grin, waving back. Grillby's flame crackled a bit at the painful tight forced smile. The second Papyrus looked away from it fell, falling into a tired look.

“I know you prefer your brother, but I'm here if you want to talk.” Grillby picked his book back up, giving one last look to the skeleton beside him before returning to his reading. It was harder to focus knowing Sans was right next to him unhappy, but there was little Grillby could do.

Sans turned away from the window, not wanting Papyrus to see his face. He sat on the edge of the couch, holding onto the stuffed dog as he tried to steady his mood.

He hated these depressing moods. He thought it would all be over when they escaped. They were free from him, from the pain, from everything, but it never went away. Even in their home, their warm and safe home, Sans still feared the doctor would come back, some object or word triggering his memories. This time, it had been one of the colouring books Papyrus loved to draw in. Sans was flipping through the colourful pages, laughing at how Papyrus had managed to draw himself into every page. Sans stopped on a page were some lizard kid sat on a table, the happy bear doctor was holding a shot in his hand, the two were smiling, happy, enjoying the make believe visit. Sans' eyes couldn't leave the injection. Sans felt the panic rising, he knew he needed to close the book, to throw it away and find Papyrus, but he couldn't move. Memories flashed inside his skull, phantom pains of the injection piercing his bone or the burning that always followed after.

 

~*~

 

 _ _He stood there,__   _ _talking in that strange language Sans barely understood. He always talked like that when he was lost in thought. Usually, that was always when Sans had either passed a test or failed one badly. Sans thought he had passed this one. He had remained conscious and didn't die, that usually meant he passed. Sans tried to focus on his words, barely managing to hear them over the lingering flashes of pain that fogged his head.__

 _“_ ** **WD01S passed injection one. Subject****   ** **no longer loses consciousness with the smallest injection. Pre**** _ _\-----__ ** **for the second injection**** _ _\---__ ** **subject may**** _ _\---” Sans whimpered at the thought of another injection. Another wave of the burning sensation causing a loud ringing to echo inside his skull blocking out the__   _ _doctor's__   _ _voice.__  Sans  _ _opened one eye socket watched as Gaster prepared a needle of a different size, almost twice as big as the one before.__ Sans  _ _couldn't stop himself from shaking as the doctor approached.__

_“ ** **I can't.****  ” Sans cried, knowing that the words would earn him a harsh punishment. “I can't. I can't. I can't-”_

_“ ** **You will.**** ” Gaster traced the small hole he made by the injection before lined up the needle. “ ** **If you don't, then I will move onto 02P.”****  Gaster knew how to keep Sans in line. He knew how to ensure his subject wouldn't fail. Unlike Papyrus, Sans wouldn't take failure as an option if it meant his younger brother would be out of harm’s way. Papyrus didn't know any better. Papyrus couldn't do what Gaster had asked, but as long as Sans did, they were fine. Sans didn't know if he could do this, though, not even the thought of his brother filling him with enough strength to pull through. Sans just nodded, knowing his permission was never needed or wanted. Sans didn't have time to prepare before the needle slid inside, followed by the agonizing burn. Sans let out one long scream, shredding his throat, echoing in the room. Gaster had to cover his ears, never hearing his experiment screech out so painfully, the doctor knew he made a mistake. Sans scream was cut off as his body stilled._

_“ ** **WD01S.**** ” Sans remained motionless, not even breathing. “ ** **01S!**** ” Gaster repeated, stepping closer, hand extended outward to nudge him. “01-” The doctor's fingers stopped as he watched the ribs on Sans' body slowly sink inward, caving in. Gaster hand brushed against them to stop the ribs from curling in but yanked his hand back as the bone dripped onto his finger. Sans was melting, the determination... The determination was reacting back and Gaster knew he miscalculated, he was too impatient._

_“01S!” Gaster voiced out, turning around, scrambling to find some solution to the problem. “01S- ** **Sans!**** ” Gaster tried the name he had called him so long ago in hopes of sparking some form of life. Gaster had worked too hard on this experiment, he refused to allow him to die by a simple mistake. “Sans! Sans!”_

 

~*~

 

“Sans!” Sans's felt a warm touch on his arm and flinched away. He jumped off the couch, his legs too weak to support him, causing him to fall down to the ground. He felt his eye glowing, panting heavily as he looked around. Grillby sat on the couch, eager to run and help the skeleton, but not wanting to cause him any more distress.

Sans opened his mouth to speak, clinging onto his jacket. His voice was gone, the memories fading, but the panic remained. Although Grillby was unaware of the entire flashback, Sans felt as if he was. Sans felt like Grillby knew, that he had done something wrong. He wasn't supposed to die then. He wasn't supposed to give in so easily. Even if Grillby didn't know, Sans had to have done something wrong right? He had to have messed up in some manner.

“Sans,” Grillby called, getting the brother's attention. Grillby picked up the discarded toy, handing it out to Sans. Sans' small pinprick pupil danced between the man and the toy.

It was safe. The toy was safe to touch. Grillby was safe. Grillby would keep him safe. Grillby would keep Papyrus safe. Grillby would not hurt either of them. Grillby promised he would not hurt them.

Sans repeated the thought in his head, trying to cling to them. He knew he was safe. He knew that his adopted guardian would never hurt them. The skeleton knew that he could reach out, grab the toy, even grab Grillby, and he would not be punished or dragged into another experiment by guilt or fear, but he couldn't believe it. He tried to, his emotions flickering between fear and security. Could he really take it? Grillby had never lied to him before. Grillby had never done anything to either brother. He had only ever shown them both kindness, love, too much of it at times. Sans kept expecting it to end, for the punch line to smack his skull wide open. The longer he waited, though, the less likely he believed it would ever come, and it scared him.

Sans inched his hands out, reaching out carefully and slowly for the toy. He wrapped his fingers around the leg, his grip so loose and cautious as if wrinkling the toy would cause it to break. As soon as his fingers were wrapped around, he yanked it back, pressing it against his chest. Grillby offered Sans a smile, the skeleton before him looked as if he wanted to return one back, but just glanced down at the ground, toes curling in the carpet below.

“Please, Sans.” Grillby's voice sounded so desperate. It reminded Sans of what Papyrus' voiced sounded like in the lab as he was taken away. “I want to help you, but I know you really aren't up for talking so let me get Papyrus. You don't have to feel like this. We both want you to be happy. You could never bother us no matter what time of day. We both care about you and want you to rely on us.” Sans shook his head, curling up into a ball and burying his face in the toy.

“Don't get, Pap.” Sans hated how pathetic his voice sounded. Sans hated how weak he looked. Sans hated the holes and dents in his arms and entire body. He hated his deformed bones. He hated the code scratched out of his arm. He hated his stupid eyes. He hated himself. Sans hated everything Gaster had made him.

Sans jumped when he felt a touch on his shoulder. His head shot up, staring at Grillby who held his hand out to Sans.

“Come on,” Sans furrowed his brow bone.

“What?”

“I think I forgot to grab some pasta sauce for dinner tonight. We can go run to the store to pick some up. Actually, now that I think about it, Papyrus wanted something from the store, but I forgot what it was.” Grillby pretended to scratch the back of his head. “Why don't we go ask him what it was, and then go head to the store. Does that sound okay?” Sans still looked confused, but Grillby just kept his hand extended out to him. Sans took the hand, still giving Grillby the same puzzled expression. Grillby stood up, grabbing Papyrus' forgotten sweater and handing it to Sans. “Give that to him too, can't have him catching a cold.”

Grillby lead the two out of the house, Sans trying to understand what Grillby was doing. Papyrus spotted the two and ran over, panting a little.

“Where are you going?” Papyrus questioned Grillby.

“To the store, did you need something?”

“Candy!” Papyrus giggled spotted Sans holding his sweater. “My sweater!” Sans snapped out of his daze, offering a smile to Papyrus, helping him put on his sweater. Papyrus smiled down at his sweater before reaching out and pulling Sans into a tight hug.

“Try not to forget it next time, bonehead.” Sans lightly tapped his brother's skull, unable to stop the grin from stretching across his face and Papyrus whined a bit looking back at his friends.

“Thanks, brother!” Papyrus smiled, before running back to play with the other monster children. Sans waved, his smile remaining on his face as he and Grillby's walked to the store.

“Feeling any better?” Grillby asked Sans who look up at him and then seemed to realize how much lighter he had felt. His cheeks were tinted a blue as he latched onto Grillby's arm, squeezing it as he nodded.

“Lots.”


	8. Language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this was the chapter Grillby found out that Sans and Papyrus couldn't read. The last chapter was actually suppose to be chapter 4. However, I hated how quickly the story was moving. I had to stop and actually rewrite the entire beginning for the most part because Sans and Papyrus were simply not broken enough for my liking. Even now I still think I could have made them more damaged or think, (especially in the next two/three chapters) , that the story is moving too quickly. As tragic and fucked up as it is, I really want to make it painfully obvious that the skelebros have been through fucked up shit and are clearly damaged/broken because of it. I don't want it to just be flashbacks and panic attacks all the time. I don't want it to be just fear and hesitation either, finding the balance between the two while also attempting to fill you guys in with backstory is sometimes hard to manage. But, I hope I can make it enjoyable nonetheless, right?
> 
> Also...there should totally be a fic where Sans and Papyrus only speak/know Wing Ding, because that would make more sense right?...fuck I think I missed my chance. It's too late to go back, huh?...new story forming...
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments, kudos, hits, bookmarks. They really really really really just rock my socks.

“Why are all the children gone during the day?” Papyrus asked one morning, staring at the empty streets.

“They are at school,” Grillby answered, looking up from his book, thinking for a minute. “You two should probably attend actually.”

“School?” Papyrus repeated the word, Sans looking up from his toy pile in confusion. Grillby has gotten used to his unofficially adopted children being confused at most basic everyday life things. It bugged him and made him worry, but there was little he could do.

“It's where children go to learn and get an education.”

“Sans taught me everything I know! Sans knows everything!” Papyrus grinned and Sans nodded as if to confirm.

“School teaches you everything, even things Sans might not know about.”

“Like what?” Sans scoffed, seeming offended. Sans knew he was no genius. However, his time in the lab granted the elder skeleton knowledge that Grillby was clearly surprised Sans had even heard of.

“Maths, sciences, monster history, everything.” Sans rolled his eyes seeming bored.

“Why does that stuff matter?”

“Because it helps you as an adult. You can't exactly get a degree as an accountant without knowing how to count.”

“And school teaches you these things? This accounting profession?” Grillby nodded and Papyrus seemed to contemplate the school subject. “And this is where all the kids go?” Grillby nodded once more and Papyrus let out a loud 'hmm' noise as he thought it over.

“I think I would like to look at this school. I don't think it's possible for the school to teach me anything my brother can't, but I must uphold his reputation!”

“Pap,” Sans whined and Papyrus grinned.

“Yes, I want to attend! When does this school begin?”

“When, where, and how long?” Sans asked, now invested in the topic due to his brother's interest.

“Just down the road. You know the place where the kids are always running out of in the afternoon?” The brothers nodded. “School usually lasts seven hours, maybe a little less. It goes on for most of the year, minus a few breaks for holidays.” Sans scrunched up his face in disinterest. “As for when, I'm not sure. I'd have to register you guys. Find out your grades and where you are at and all that.”

“Grades? School has grades? What do you mean?”

“Well, depending on your age or educational level, you are placed in a different grade. As you graduate each year you go up a grade until you finish school altogether.”

“Papyrus will be in the same grade as me, correct?” Although Sans made it sound like a question, Grillby felt as if it was more of a statement that he was forced to agree to.

“Probably not, you two are different ages. It all depends on your different academic levels.”

“What does that mean?” Papyrus asked.

“How different you two are in the subjects. Maybe Sans is better at maths, but you could be better at science. Depending on your overall assessment of the subjects, you are placed in a grade.” Sans frowned and shook his head.

“No, I don't like this.” Sans knew he was wiser than his brother. There was no way the two would be in the same grade and Sans wouldn't allow his brother in some strange environment, even if he knew everyone in the town by now.

“Sans, no! I want to go!” Papyrus whined, tugging on his brother's arm. “I want to test my knowledge! This school thing is an excellent challenge for me!”

“Have you two, ever done anything like this before?” Sans tensed up a bit but shook his head.

“No.”

“Well, there actually might be one issue with it.” Grillby rubbed the bottom of his chin, pondering over the forgotten memory. “You guys can't exactly read.”

“We can read!” Papyrus stated defensively.

“Yeah, but not the same language the school teaches in. I don't know how it will work out exactly. Maybe they could each you? Well, why not just give it a try? We can all go in and see what it's like before deciding. How does that sound?” Sans shook his head, but Papyrus nodded eagerly.

“Yes! One day! Let us go!” Sans groaned loudly, falling back against the floor. He let out a loud sigh that sounded like an exaggerated 'fine'.

The next day, the three entered the school and Grillby spoke to the principal and the school counselor about the brother's interest in enrolling in the school. After explaining the brother's situations and lack of previous education the counselor pulled the two brothers aside and handed them an academic placement test. Grillby was about to argue that the children could not read it, but the counselor, Miss Kerry, informed the bartender that they had to see what the boys could do for themselves. Grillby waited in the lobby for a few hours before Sans and Papyrus exited the room looking tired and confused. The counselor closed the door behind her, looking just as exhausted and perplexed. After calling Grillby into her office with the brothers, she explained the situation.

“Mr. Grillby, currently I have no idea how to place your two children in the school. Although they filled out the academic tests, it's written in some language I've never seen before. I know you stated that they could not read, but Sans was quite vocal about being able to understand and read the test. Which is why I was surprised to see-... well, this.” She slid the paperwork over to Grillby who looked down at the weird characters. “I also must inform you that Papyrus copied off of Sans the entire time. Apparently Papyrus was unable to read the test so Sans gave him the answers. However, when I asked Sans to write his answers correctly, he was very confused and didn't know how else to write them. I'm sorry, but they will have to retake the test and ensure that it's written in English.” Grillby looked over the tests in confusion.

“We did your test! Why do we need to do it again?” Sans asked, annoyed.

“Sans, can you read this?” Grillby pointed to the question on the test and Sans leaned over to look at it. He squinted, trying to figure out the letters, but for some reason, it made no sense. Sans swore he could read them earlier, they weren't written like that, though, they were written like how Gaster wrote. “What about this?” Grillby pointed to the answer Sans wrote down and Sans nodded.

“ **118** ” The words he answered with sounded made up and foreign to everyone. Papyrus nudged him gently with his elbow and Sans was stared for a moment before he blinked and quickly corrected himself.

“118,” Sans said, pointing back up at the question, now that he remembered the answer. “It asked how many elements were in the period table. I asked her if I should elaborate because there are currently more to be found, but she just said write the answer down the best I could.” The lady seemed surprised, Grillby just pointed to a different spot, allowing Sans to continue. Sans muttered something to himself for a second before answering. “Sans, that's my name. It asked me to write it down.” Sans seemed perplexed by the questions. He reached out for Papyrus' paper, Miss Kerry handing it to him before he set it down and pointed to the same spot. “That's Papyrus. He couldn't read the test so I helped him.”

“But you can't read it now, right?” Sans looked back over the test, the unfamiliar words blurring in and out of focus.

“Not anymore, it wasn't like that earlier. I did the test, though. I filled it out correctly.” Grillby nodded and looked over at Papyrus.

“Papyrus can you read any of this?”

“I can read what Sans wrote,” Papyrus answered, leaning closer to Sans to look at the packet in his hands. “I didn't know what the symbols were, but Sans said it was asking what two times four is but I didn't know. Sans said it was eight, though. That's what the answer says.”

“Mr. Grillby, Sans seems like he is a brilliant child, but I can't place them in the classroom if they are unable to read or write. I'll have to enroll them in the afternoon classes for special tutoring. Then, we can try again for the test.”

“Papyrus is just as bright! He just can't read your stupid test!” Sans argued, not liking how the Miss Kerry singled him out for the compliment. “Grillby we did the test. I answered it correctly. She doesn't believe me!” Miss Kerry was about to argue back, but Grillby just stood up, collecting the two tests.

“Do you mind if I keep these?” The counselor seemed confused by the request. “If Sans believes he answered it correctly, then I wish to decipher this for myself. If this all turns out to be a simple language difference, I'm sure we can work something out.”

“You are free to take the tests, but like I said. I cannot place them in the classroom without them retaking it and being able to understand it, without help.”Papyrus fidgeted and Sans squeezed his brother's hand, glaring harshly at Kerry.

“That's perfectly understandable. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Come on Sans, Papyrus.” The brothers stood up, walking out of the room with Grillby.

“I don't like that place,” Sans announced once they returned home.

“I don't understand what went wrong. Why did they not like our answers?” Papyrus wondered aloud.

“I should have paid more attention,” Grillby mumbled to himself. It was painfully obvious the boys both struggled to read. Whether it was looking lost in the middle of the streets due to not being able to read the street signs or staring at containers of food in the store that had different labels from what Grillby usually bought. Grillby caught a glance at the children's drawing every now and then and just assumed the weird characters they drew were part of the drawing. Now he knew that they were words. A language only the two children understood.

“You didn't tell us the lady was going to be mean,” Sans said and Grillby turned around and faced the two boys.

“Sans, Papyrus, sit down at the table, please.” Grillby pointed and the two sat down. Grabbing two pencils from the pile on the floor as well as a notebook Papyrus had left open, he sat down next to the two and handed them each their test, a pencil, and piece of paper.

“Is this another test?” Sans asked and Grillby shook his head.

“Do you both know the alphabet?” The two nodded. “Write it down for me on the piece of paper, no cheating.” With a quick glance at each other, Papyrus and Sans picked up their writing utensils and began writing it out. When they finished they showed Grillby and he looked them over. Sure enough, it was the same weird symbols. He pointed to the first symbol that looked like a peace sign. “What does this say?”

“A,” Papyrus responded and shot a glance at Sans who seemed to be having trouble answering as quickly as his brother.

“Sans you can read this, right?” Grillby asked and Sans nodded.

“You just say things differently,” Sans mumbled and Papyrus tugged on his jacket sleeve for a moment the two sharing a look.

“How would you say it?” Sans fidgeted for a second before glancing at Papyrus and answering.

“ **A.”** The small sound he made was once again foreign to Grillby, but Papyrus seemed to understand.

“Sans learned how to talk like that,” Papyrus said and Sans nodded along to the lie. It was easier telling Papyrus he grew up speaking Wing Ding than telling him how he really knew the language. Though, saying he grew up speaking it wasn't too far off from the truth. Sans always struggled to switch between the two when speaking, having grown accustomed to reading it as Gaster had. He grew up on the sounds and writings, not being aware it meant something else until Gaster had explained to other doctors what his work said.

“Who taught you how to read like this?” Sans shifted uncomfortably, looking only at Grillby, but feeling Papyrus watching him.

“I don't remember.” Grillby looked over at Papyrus before just nodded, sensing Sans' change in demeanor as he answered the question.

“You can read it, though, right?” Sans nodded, leaning back a bit in the chair.

“I'm just not as fast. I have to translate it first.” Sans nodded his head in the direction of Papyrus. “I taught Papyrus to read it like how you speak, but he knows how to read it my way too.”

“Does this language have a name?” Sans took in a deep breath, teeth grinding together as he debated on the answer.

“Wing Ding.” Sans held back the shiver he felt a cold chill ran down his spine as he spoke the name out loud. Grillby just nodded and pointed to the next letter.

“Okay, let's continue. Papyrus try to say it in time with Sans. I want to make sure you both know it, okay?” Papyrus nodded and waited for Sans to think over the letter before saying it along with him.

26 letters later, Grillby was impressed that these two did actually know the alphabet, it just appeared to be in a different language no one has ever seen before.

“Words weren't written like that before.” Sans narrowed his eyes as he looked over the characters Grillby wrote down under the ones the brothers had written down. Gaster had never written like that, not even the mark on Sans arm looked like that. Sans saw that a few of the other doctors wrote like that, but he could never read it. He always thought it was some weird language they made up, but now Sans was realizing Gaster was the one who made up his own tongue.

“I've never seen anything written like this before.” Grillby pointed to the symbols. “No one writes like this. You sure you don't remember who told you this?”

“It's how we write and read.” Papyrus shrugged, wringing his hands together. “Sans just taught it to me.” Sans let his hands fall to his lap and gave a shrug. Maybe the language had vanished just like Gaster had. Sans furrowed his brow bone in annoyance.

“Do you remember Sans?” Sans just shrugged. Of course, he did, but if he told them they'd want to know more, and Papyrus couldn't know that. Detecting no answer coming, Grillby handed the pencil back over to Sans and leaned back in his chair. “I want you guys to write your names down using the sheet, in the letter alphabet I wrote down.” Grillby pushed the notebook forward and Sans ripped out a sheet, giving it to Papyrus before getting himself one. After a few minutes, the two showed off their words and Grillby held back the small noise of delight he wanted to let out. Both of their handwritings were terrible, but something about that was adorable. Papyrus had more of a straight and almost jagged looking writing style while Sans was more curved and bubbly. Both of the names were wobbly and off centered and Grillby wanted to place the paper on the fridge labeling it 'Sans and Papyrus' first written word'.

“I want to learn this.” Papyrus pointed to the letters, looking them over. “I can read those stories you have and the labels.”

“How about this,” Grillby began. “I help you learn how to read and write, and then you two can retake the test.” Grillby slid forward the tests and the boys both turned away slightly. “Then, we can try once more for the school.”

“No, Papyrus will be in a different grade than me, I know it,” Sans said, shoving the papers away.

“Sans, eventually you two are going to have to live apart.”

“Nu-uh.” Papyrus chirped in. “Sans and I will be together forever!” Sans nodded in agreement.

“What about when you get older and too big to sleep together?”

“Bunk beds.” They answered in unison

“What about if you two get married?”

“No.”

“What if something happens to one of you?”

“Is that a threat?” Sans glared and Grillby took in a long breath.

“You two are very close, inseparable I'd say, but you can't grow as your own separate person if you are with each other twenty-four seven. Time apart is good, even if it's just for a few hours a day. At the end of the day, you'll be back together in no time.”

“No.” Sans sounded angry now and Grillby knew he needed to drop it.

“Sans and I have always been together.” Papyrus frowned down at the table. “We've never been apart as far as I remember. Sans told me he raised me all by himself and we are all each other had. Why would I go someplace he's not? How am I going to know he's okay or how is he suppose to know if I need help?”

“That's why you meet new people.” Grillby leaned on his elbows. “School can offer you, new friends, to make, new people to meet.”

“I know the school kids, we both do.” Sans retorted, getting far too defensive. “Papyrus plays outside all the time. We aren't with each other every second, but for him to be gone for seven hours without me is not happening.”

“You guys, it's great that you two are so close, but if you want to go to school or do anything solo, eventually you will have to separate. At the end of the day, you two will still have each other. You can walk to school together. Sans, you can take Papyrus to his class and walk home together. You two are going to be in the same building too. Just give it a try, one day is all I'm asking for.” Sans turned away in his chair, but Papyrus, being the people pleaser he was, slowly nodded.

“Only a day?” Sans watched his brother in shock. “And if we don't like it, we don't have to go?” Grillby nodded and Papyrus looked over at Sans. Sans watched his brother, instantly his negative thoughts faded with the idea of Papyrus actually enjoying the school.

“One day,” Sans repeated earning a hug from his brother. Grillby flame flickered happily at the agreement.


	9. Teacher

Papyrus seemed to have the easiest time getting use to reading and writing in English. It actually shocked Grillby that Papyrus was able to write and read the alphabet all by himself within a week. Papyrus would read food labels out loud and even wrote Grillby letters that Grillby had started to now collect.

Sans, however, was a lot slower, noticeable so when compared to Papyrus. Although Sans never seemed to be bothered by it when around his brother, only stating that Papyrus was, of course, better than him in every way, so naturally he was going to surpass him with English. Grillby knew that Sans was bothered by how slow he was at getting the language. The bartender spotted Sans sitting at the table looking like he was about to break it in half multiple times. Each time ended with Sans breaking his pencil and ripping the paper he was working on to shreds. Eventually, Grillby got tired of Sans suffering alone and took it upon himself to help the kid out.

“Need some help?” Sans jumped, startled by Grillby's sudden appearance. He quickly moved to cover his paper, unable to hide his annoyance.

“No...”

“Kiddo, I can practically see the steam coming out of your head. What are you stuck on?” Grillby sat down next to Sans and the skeleton just groaned and tossed his paper aside.

“Everything! It's just stupid! I hate it!” Sans shouted, throwing his arms up. Grillby leaned down to pick up the paper, looking it over. Some letters were written down, but it was mostly covered with the symbols Grillby was unable to read. “I know the song! I just can't read or write it!”

“Is this all you can remember?” The bartender asked, sliding the paper back over to Sans.

“Yeah,” Sans mumbled.

“Alright, so you are a little under halfway done. How about the numbers?” Sans just growled and used his pencil to point to the Wing Dings. “Still struggling.” The skeleton just glared. “Okay Sans, sit up. Let's go over them.”

“I did! I did so many times!”

“Practice makes perfect, kiddo. You can't just skim a book and expect to know the entire plot. I know Papyrus got it pretty easily, but not everyone does. Don't beat yourself up over it just because you are having a bit of trouble memorizing some letters.”

“That's not why I'm beating myself up.” Sans groaned, into the table.

“Then why are you?”

“Because I should know this! I should have memorized it day one and I can't freaking remember what comes after D!”

“Sans this stuff takes time."

“I don't understand, Grillby!” Sans complained. “Why can't I remember this? Why is it so hard? It's never been this hard before! I've never had difficulty understanding anything! I understood math equations. I understood quantum physics. I created and memorized my own way of telling time, but I can't remember the stupid alphabet!” Sans let out a scream and flopped back down onto the table. Grillby paused, trying to figure out what to say and do. Obviously teaching Sans the same way he had taught Papyrus would not work. The fire element would have to find some other way of teaching the skeleton. What that way would be, however, was harder to figure out.

“Sans.” Sans did not respond. “Come on, bonehead. Head up.” Sans grunted. “How can I help you out?” The skeleton shrugged. “What motives you?”

“Threats,” Sans muttered to himself. Despite his depressive mood, he raised his head and instead chose to lean back against the chair. “I don't know,” Sans said to answer Grillby's question.

“What if I studied with you?” Grillby offered and Sans just rolled his head to the side, staring at Grillby with a look that clearly read 'what'.

“What would you even study?”

“Wing Ding.” Grillby rested his head on top of his folded hands. “I'll help you learn my language and you can help me read yours.” Sans sat up, looking interested.

“Why would you do that?”

 “Because I want to understand you better. I'd like to actually be able to read what you write down. Do you feel better writing in Wing Ding?”

“Yea.”

“Then I want to learn it.” Sans frowned, watching Grillby. “But only to write. I don't think I am physically capable of speaking it.” The skeleton snorted.

“It's not that hard.”

“Sans, it sounds like you are both underwater and in an echoing cave while you speak it sometimes.” Sans laughed and shook his head.

“No, it doesn't!”

“You need to get your hearing checked, kiddo.”

 **“** **I can hear just fine!”** Sans spoke in his favorite tongue and Grillby shook his head.

“No way in hell I'd be able to say that. I don't even think you could spell that.”

“Not in your language! You don't spell it out in letters you spell it in characters!” Sans pointed to the characters. “You won't be able to speak it because you don't even know what to compare it to. At least I can speak your language!”

“And how thankful I am that you can. Trying to understand you without it would be impossible.” Sans let out a small laugh. “So what do you say? Want to try it out?”

“I don't know how it will help. Papyrus studied with me and he already knows the language.”

“Do you want me to understand Wing Ding?” Sans shrugged and nodded. “Then how about this, you can teach me every letter you memorize in English.”

“What?” Sans whined.

“Yep, every time you get another letter down, you can teach me what it is in Wing Ding. Now you have a driving force and your desire to teach me should motivate you to learn.”

“What if it doesn't motivate me?” Sans challenged and Grillby shrugged.

“Then we will have to find out what will.”

They did not have to find out, though, for Sans was extremely motivated. It was almost unnatural how motivated he had become. Sans now stopped Grillby in whatever task the bartender was performing to announce he had memorized a new letter. Each time, his smile was bigger and Grillby's at home study guide for Wind Ding was growing larger. Sans seemed to get quite the kick out of watching the fire element struggle with the language he knew so fondly. It was fascinating to see Grillby struggle with something so basic to the skeleton. Sans wondered if this was how the bartender felt every time the brothers got confused about something.

“Nu-uh! That's U.” Sans said, pointing to the symbol Grillby just wrote.

“Piss off, kid, that's V! It's exactly what you wrote!” Sans giggled and shook his head. “I swear Sans, if you are in purposely marking this wrong, I will use those new markers Papyrus got to draw on your skull while you sleep.” Grillby threatened and Sans covered his mouth as he let out a loud laugh.

“This is V.” Sans drew a cross, identical to Grillby's except the right side was bolded slightly as if it was casting a shadow. “That's a U.” Sans pointed to Grillby's characters and the flame monster stared, head flicking in annoyance.

“They are the same fucking thing, Sans.”

“So are half of your letters! R is just P with a funny line and Q is just an O with another funny line! And W and M are just the same things just flipped different ways! And you have your stupid capital and lowercase letters!”

“Yea, yea, I get it. English is stupid. But you cannot sit there and tell me these aren't the same damn thing.”

“It's darker on that side.” Sans pointed and Grillby just lets out a long sigh.

“How are you doing?” Grillby asked, trying to change the subject. Sans snorted, rolling his eyes as he slid his paper over showing the completed alphabet.

“Nice try, but I got them all down.”

“And the numbers?” Sans flipped the paper over and showed off the numbers. “Impressive. Think you're ready for a quiz?”

“Are you?” Sans challenged with a grin and Grillby laughed.

Sans passed with flying colors. Grillby, on the other hand, did not. Sans gloated, showing his paper to Papyrus and even bringing it into the bar one day to show Bonnie. The elder skeleton was overjoyed and Grillby felt like both children were now ready to give the test another shot.

Grillby took them into the school, closing down the bar for the day. The counselor seemed shocked to see the boys there but allowed them to retake the test. Papyrus was done first, he hadn't understood a lot of the questions, but he didn't want to be called a cheater like last time so he handed in the test. He wanted to wait for Sans to finish, but Miss Kerry shooed him out and he was forced to sit with Grillby.

Sans still struggled with remembering the right letters, though he was a lot better than before. The hardest were the numbers. He was so use to seeing and reading them as Wing Ding that for almost every answer, he automatically answered in Wing Ding, having to then go back and rewrite it in English. The questions were easy, most of them stupidly basic or completely irrelevant to what Sans cared about. About an hour, after Papyrus finished, Sans turned in his test and left the room. The counselor seemed pleased that she was able to read the tests and after taking an hour to look them over she called the three back into her office.

“I must say, I am very impressed with how far you boys have come.” She grinned and Papyrus beamed with joy, Sans just slouching further into the chair. “You said Sans was ten and Papyrus was 6 correct?”

“Yeah,” Sans answered for Grillby.

“Papyrus does appear to be a little below average for his age. Nothing a few after school tutoring sessions can't fix.” Papyrus frowned a bit and Sans straightened up in his chair, ready to fight back. “He's above average with reading and writing, which is surprising considering he was unable to do both of them three weeks ago. However, for maths, science, and history, he is behind.”

“And Sans?” Grillby asked, resting his hand on Sans' shoulder, causing the skeleton to lean back and calm down.

“Minus the monster history, Sans is a lot brighter than most ten-year-olds. If he had his history up, he'd be able to skip a grade or two easily. He is still a bit slow with the language, but that shouldn't be a problem in the classroom. You know what they say, the best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself in it!”

“So, where does that leave them at?” Grillby looked over the scoring sheets the counselor handed over and sure enough, Sans scored almost perfectly in all subjects minus history, which was about the same as Papyrus' overall scores minus a few very high ones.

“Well, I can place them in a classroom as soon as we do all the paperwork and whatnot. Papyrus might have a more difficult time adjusting, but Sans should be fine. The two can begin tutoring after school on their first day. Sans and Papyrus have about equal knowledge on the subject of monster history so tutoring them at the same time would be best. As far as catching Papyrus up, you would have to work it out with your schedule and talk it over with him. Helping out at home with homework would speed things along as well. I'm sure Sans can help his little brother out, no problem.” Kerry smiled down at Sans and it took all his willpower not to sneer at the smile. Papyrus seemed a bit upset at the news and Sans hopped off his chair and moved over to Papyrus', sitting him on his lap.

“Can I go to tutoring with him?” Sans asked and the counselor looked over at Grillby first before answering.

“You can if you would like. He needs to be there to work, though. You two can't play around.” Sans nodded and tugged on Papyrus' jacket a bit getting his attention.

“I'll be there too.” He said with a smile and Papyrus leaned against him, nodding his head in approval.

“I told you the school is too smart for you. You know everything.” Papyrus said as the two adults chatted away about school.

“I think the test was rigged. There's no way someone as great as you could ever be anything but perfect. These school people must be bigger boneheads than me.” Papyrus covered his mouth to silence the giggles. “No way your lazybones brother could be better than The Great Papyrus!”

“Maybe I just need to put a little more backbone into it.” Sans and Papyrus erupted into a fit of giggles and quietly told jokes to each other until Grillby finished the work.

“Okay, you guys!” The council clapped her hands together smiling. “You are all set! Tomorrow you two can come in and get started! Class begins at seven thirty but most kids wait in the playground until then. If you want Mr. Grillby, you can come in and I'll show you their classroom with them before school starts.”

“That would be much appreciated, thanks.” She just nodded and they all stood up, the adults shaking hands before the three left.

“Are me and Papyrus really in different classes?” Sans questioned a Grillby nodded.

“Yea, you two are four years apart. You might actually be further apart if you catch up to the class Sans. You might find it too easy for you.”

“Sans likes easy things, he's so lazy.” Papyrus teased, Sans grinning down at his brother. “I'll work twice as hard for the both of us! I'll catch up with you in no time!”

“Be careful bro, or you'll work yourself down to the bone.” Grillby snorted rolling his eyes at the joke that Papyrus laughed at.

The next morning, Grillby woke the boys up, both of them whining about the time before slowly getting ready for the day. After shoving down some breakfast, the three walked over to the school and Papyrus waved at all his friends. Like she had promised, the Miss Kerry showed them around the school, stopping at the important places and showing the brothers their classroom and teachers. As the bell rang, Grillby hugged both the brothers goodbye and Sans lead Papyrus to his classroom first, making sure he was okay before going to his own.

“Everyone we have a new student joining us today!” The teacher forced Sans to stand in the front of the class despite his objection and was now standing there bored, staring longingly at the desk with his name on it. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”

“I'm Sans.” Sans gave a small wave and the class mumbled back a dull 'hi Sans'.

“Would you like to tell us a little about yourself?”

“Tibia honestly, I'm not much. My brother Papyrus, on the other hand, is way cooler than me. Can I sit down now? I'm bone tired.” The teacher's smile seemed forced as the class giggled. With a nod from his teacher, Sans sat down and slouched into his chair. Sans felt a few eyes on him, but he could really care less. He was here for Papyrus and no one else. No one was a threat in this school. He didn't need to be on high alert. He was here for Papyrus and nothing else.

The lessons seemed to drag on for longer than Sans liked. It took everything in his power not to fall asleep, and even then he still found himself being startled awake by the teacher calling on him to answer some simple question.

“Sans!” Sans eyes shot up, a girl next to him giggling every time he was woken up. “Have you finished the worksheet?” Sans started down at the division worksheet and nodded. “All three?” Looking back over the papers below he nodded. “Show me.” Sans sighed, but stood up and took his papers up to the front. The teacher took them, glancing over them. Even though she was annoyed Sans kept falling asleep, she couldn't deny the kid was smart.

“Is there anymore?”

“Would you like some more?” Sans shrugged, to be honest, he didn't care. It gave him something to do, but at the same time, it was mind-numbingly simple, barely keeping him awake.

“I mean, you got something harder? I'd rather sleep than do another worksheet of this.” The teacher pursed her lips and pulled out a math book, flipping it open and skimming through.

“What about this, this is the next lesson I have-”

“No, that's boring, let me see the book.” Sans took the book before the teacher could protest. He skipped chapters ahead, barely skimming the pages as he rapidly flipped through. He reached the end and frowned, handing it back and looked at the large stack of books behind her. “Can I see that blue one with the G on it?”

“If you ask nicely. I'm your teacher Sans, not your mother. I'd like you to act more respectfully in the classroom.” Grillby had to remind Sans he had to be nice to other people. Papyrus was usually very kind, saying please, thank you, and sorry. Sans casual greeting and voice were apparently not appropriate when talking to adults.

“May I please see the blue book located on the second shelf behind you, Miss Lyon.” She blinked, shocked by the sentence.

“You may,” she replied, grabbing the book and handing it to him.

“Thank you. Maybe I take the book to my desk?” She nodded and Sans turned around, shivering at his formal tone. He sat back down at the desk, opening the book and looking over the front page, trying to read the words under his breath. Although he could read it perfectly in Wing Ding, he struggled to say it correctly in English.

“Geometry.” Someone whispered next to him, causing him to jump. He looked over to see the girl next to him, a small cat girl smiling at him. “The word's geometry, that's what the older kids are studying,” Sans repeated the word in his head a few times.

“Thanks, could have ended up a real cat-astrophe without your help,” Sans said with a wink and the girl let out a high pitch laugh, causing the teacher to look up at them and glare.

“I'm Kitty!” She whispered once the teacher looked away.

“That's a pur-etty name, I'm Sans.” She held back her laughter, this time, smiling to herself as Sans turned back to his book, flipping through it.

“That looks pretty hard,” Kitty spoke in a hushed tone and Sans shrugged a bit.

“It's new to me, but the math is pretty easy to wrap your tail around.” He pointed to a formula and leaned closer to her to show her the problem. “It's easy because it already has the answers by giving you the formula. You just have to do the math. Memorize this and you pretty much got all the answers for this shape down. Pretty basic, I think.”

“Sounds pretty complicated,” Kitty admitted, seeming a bit lost at the math that was way above her level.

“Apparently I'm good at math. I never knew people were bad at it. Kinda seemed easy.”

“I'm jealous, I'm not very good with math. I'm good at reading, though! I read a book last week that was five hundred pages long!”

“Wow, that's pretty long.” Sans stared in wonder at the girl. He struggled to read books for babies and she was reading the complicated books that Grillby loved to read.

“I'd rather be better at math, though. This division stuff sucks.” Kitty let out a small laugh glancing down at her half-finished the worksheet.

“I could help you if you want.” Sans offered, causing Kitty to blush slightly.

“I-I mean if you want. I don't w-want to bother you or anything.” Sans just shrugged looking down at the paper.

“It's cool, I owe you one for helping me out with geometry.” Kitty just nodded and Sans, as quietly as possible, aided Kitty through the worksheet before Miss Lyon called the class's attention and moved onto the next lesson.

After having to sit through the longest book Sans had ever had to read, the bell rang for lunch. Kitty lead Sans to the lunch room, the skeleton having his own lunch Grillby prepared for both of the brothers. Due to how small the school was, the entire student body ate lunch at the same time, and Sans quickly spotted Papyrus sitting by himself and ran over, quickly abandoning Kitty.

“Pap!” He called, sitting down and Papyrus looked up and grinned.

“Brother! How is your school day going?” Papyrus asked and Sans shrugged.

“Boring, what about you? Where are your friends?” Papyrus pointed to the line of kids getting their hot lunches.

“School is a lot harder than I thought. They are trying to do this bizarre method of counting dots on the numbers. It's the silliest thing I've ever seen! I had to move to a different classroom a few times because the class was too fast, but I know I can catch up in no time! Miss Furry already said I've made excellent progress! Mrs. Pup said I was the best reader in the class!” Sans grinned as Papyrus radiated his optimistic glow.

“That's pretty great, Pap! I told you, bro, you're too smart for this school.” Sans winked and Papyrus glanced behind his brother smile growing.

“Brother who is your friend?” Sans looked behind him, spotting Kitty standing there looking a bit awkward.

“Oh, hey, sorry about that. Got excited about seeing my cool bro.” Sans said with a laugh. “Uh, Pap this is Kitty, she sits next to me. Kitty this is my awesome brother Papyrus.”

“Hello, Kitty! It's a pleasure to meet you!”

“Hi Papyrus, do you mind if I sit here?” She asked and Sans shook his head, Papyrus insisting she sit nowhere else. A few minutes later Papyrus' friend arrived and lunch goes by far too quickly. Sans swears they speed up the clocks because it only felt like five minutes compared to the endless time he felt in the classroom. With a quick hug, Sans said goodbye to his brother telling him to meet him outside after school.

Miss Lyon seemed all too thrilled that Sans was struggling with one of her lessons for once. Sans wasn't as fast at reading or writing like he was at math, but when it came to the history of monsters, Sans was clueless. The skeleton just stared down at the fill in the blank worksheet, looking over the history book and then back at the worksheet. He glanced up at his teacher, who was looking over some of the other thousands of worksheets she gave out before Sans looked at Kitty who seemed to be almost done. The skeleton quickly looked back at his own paper, the only written being his name before he let out a sigh and rested his head on the book.

He didn't care about this. Considering Sans spent all his life in a lab surrounded by one doctor, only ever seeing four other types of monsters not including himself, he had no idea what to do. All the talk of humans, the barrier, why there are holidays, Sans couldn't even read the book to find the answers.

“Sans, come here please.” Miss Lyon said and Sans pushed himself up and walked over to the teacher.

“The counselor told me you struggled with history. If the questions are too hard I can help you if you want.” Sans just shrugged, feeling indifferent on the manner. “You are going to tutoring after school, right?” Sans nodded and she dismissed him and San sat back down at his desk.

“Looks like he's not as smart as he thought.” Sans heard someone whisper and he rolled his eyes turning the head slightly to glance over at the two boys in the back snickering at each other. Seeing Sans staring, one stuck out his tongue while the other made an equally childish face. Sans snorted in amusement sneaking a peek at the teacher before he flicked his finger in his pocket, knocking the chairs out from both of the boys. The two monsters fell over with a huff and the class erupted into a fit of giggles.

Sans was thankful the final topic was science. After dealing with arts, history, and the entire day, Sans was happy he got to end it on a subject he enjoyed. Much like with the geometry books, Sans was new to the material, but it was rather easy to understand. Studying weather, a topic Sans thought was weird considering all the town got was snow, was simple and Sans was done almost as quickly as he was with the math work, but instead of giving him more work like before, Miss Lyon insisted he finished working on the history assignment.

“I'm glad you are done early, Sans. You still should finish the history homework, though. It's better to get it done here so I can help you rather than you take it home.” Sans resisted the early to groan, just sitting back down and frowned at the stupid book of history he cared very little about. Flipping open the book Sans pulled out the worksheet and looked over the still unanswered first question.

“Why do we celebrate 07 18, XXXX?” Sans mumbled under his breath, looking up at the chapter hoping the date would pop out at him, but his basic reading skills were proving to be a hindrance to the searching portion. Sans repeated the question a few times before giving up and falling asleep for the rest of the class. When the bell woke him up, he all but ran out of the class, almost leaving behind his stuff in excitement. Sans met up with Papyrus outside, the two chatting about the day until most of the kids had left the school and the two reentered for their tutoring.

Papyrus was far better as history than Sans, but then again, Sans found it very hard to care about the history. Their tutor, Mr. Tar, was very patient with them both, explaining the very basics to them. Sans kept zoning out, only paying attention when Papyrus spoke or when the teacher called him back. While the two skeletons were reading a chapter Mr. Tar sat down next to Sans who had been staring at the same page for ten minutes now.

“Sans, I feel like you really aren't trying with this lesson.”

“I just find it hard to get into. Kinda boring if I'm honest.”

“Sans don't be so lazy!” Papyrus ordered, face buried in the book. “You can never surpass me with that attitude.”

“Could never surpass you anyways, bro. You're a star.”

“Sans do you think it would help if your brother helped you keep focused?” Sans shrugged and Mr. Tar just decided to let Papyrus read the chapter out loud, which he happily did. Sans paid attention to every word and by the end actually understood the small lesson.

“I think we made some real progress today boys! You'll both be up to speed before you know it!”

“Who's next, bro?” Sans asked as Papyrus shuffled through his neat school bag.

“Monday and Wednesdays I have history and math. Tuesday and Thursday I only have science.” Sans nodded, sitting back and allowing the math tutor to help Papyrus understand subtracting double digits. Sans was pretty proud of how easily Papyrus caught on, only stumbling over a few things, but Sans was quick to whisper an answer despite the tutor's harsh glare every time he did.

“Too big bro,” Sans instructed, as the tutor stepped out to answer a call. Papyrus frowned at the problem. “Four is too small for six. You got to steal a number for the five.” Sans pointed using his own pencil to draw arrows to help him out. “Count it on your fingers, that tutor doesn't know squat. If it helps, it helps.” Papyrus nodded, using his fingers to count up to the desired number.

“Eighteen!” Papyrus shouted and Sans grinned, watching as Papyrus wrote down the number in Wing Ding.

“You slipped up, bro,” Sans said, erasing the characters. “Glad to know I'm not the only one who does it.” Papyrus rewrote it correctly and Sans glanced up at the clock and let out a happy sigh.

“Time to go?” Papyrus asked, placing the papers in his folder and zipping his bag up.

“Yeah, finally.” Sans stretched, helping Papyrus with his bag. The two waved goodbye to the tutor and exited the school, finding Grillby outside.

“Hey you two, how was it?”

“Fun!” Papyrus answered and Sans shrugged.

“Pap taught me about the first monsters.” Grillby took both of the brother's hands and began the journey home.

“No trouble then? You two think you might want to go back?”

“Yes! It was very challenging! I think I can make it up to Sans' grade by the end of the school year!” Sans chuckled a bit.

“Probably bro. The class is too easy, even for you.”

“Is it too easy for you Sans? I know she said it would be but I'd hate to have you bored out of your mind sitting in class all day.”

“I mean, it's fine. It's kinda too easy, but Miss Lyon lets me work on Geometry, which is also pretty easy. She wouldn't let me work ahead in science, though because I couldn't do the history homework.” Sans kicked the snow under his feet as he walked.

“Yeah, history wasn't my favorite subject either. Let me see if I can help you out when we get home.”

“It's hard. The words are so small and there are so many questions. It's boring. There is nothing fun about the past. Nothing challenging, just dates and events. I'd rather learn about space than that.” Grillby let out a small laugh, unlocking the front door and letting the two kids enter the warm house.

“I know it's boring, but that's the downside to school. Got to take the fun classes with the bad ones.”

“That's pointless. Why teach something that's not useful? I mean, I never needed the knowledge before, doubt I ever will. Why does it matter why we have our independence day? It's not like knowing why makes it better or makes me care more.”

“It can sometimes. Do you know why I wasn't at work last week for that Monday and Tuesday?” Sans shook his head. “It's the two days of remembrance, the day the King and former Queen's lost their two children.”

“They had children? How did they die?” Sans asked never hearing of the King ever having children.

“Interested?" Sans nodded. "Read your history book to find out.” Grillby teased and Sans pouted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sweats* Uh...hey. I felt kinda uninspired recently. Hence the kinda slow updates...I am just too lazy to edit the chapters myself and that can sometimes be the deciding factor of whether or not I update. Updates might turn into something that happens every other day. Sorry :( This chapter in particular I really hate, but I had no idea how else to write it, sorry if it blows.
> 
> Thanks for all the nice comments and everything else.


	10. Asgore

“The King is coming to school tomorrow!” Papyrus announced once Sans opened up the front door. Grillby poked his head out of the kitchen, walking over to greet the two boys.

“Is he now? How come?”

“Planting flowers,” Sans stated, attempting to hang up his coat, but failing due to his lack of height.

“Oh yeah, he still does that?” Grillby wondered out loud, helping the children hang up their jackets.

“He did it before?” Sans questioned.

“Every year he does it, except for last year. The snow was too bad for the flowers.”

“Isn't the snow still bad for the flowers?” Papyrus asked and Grillby shrugged.

“I suppose so, but that's why they make such a big deal about keeping the flowers safe. They push out the snow, have tarps to lay over them in case it gets too cold or snowy. The King is a very adamant about ensuring every school gets to see the flowers.”

“Why? They are just flowers.” Sans stated dully.

“You finish reading your history book?” Grillby asked and Sans nodded. “Huh, you must not learn about it in your grade.”

“Learn about what?” Papyrus inquired from the kitchen.

“The fallen human and the lost Prince.”

“The teacher read us a story about them! It was scary, the humans seem really mean.” Papyrus noted, stepping out from the kitchen with an apple in his hand.

“Yeah, they can be,” Grillby mumbled and Sans watched as Grillby's flame sunk a little, a small flicker of blue flashing before it faded. Sans was about to interrogate Grillby for further information, but Papyrus pulled him away first, getting him to help the younger skeleton cut his apple into slices.

The following morning, Grillby walked his two children to school and dropped them off. Sans walked Papyrus to his classroom once the bell rang, and Sans walked himself to his class, barely making it on time.

The class had become too easy for the skeleton. Painfully so. Sans was finished with all of his work minutes after Miss Lyon assigned it, whether it be tests or random worksheets. Sans took it upon himself to keep busy. He went to the town library and began checking out textbooks from higher grade levels to keep him busy when he wasn't sleeping. Sans often picked out books he not only found interesting, but he thought Kitty might enjoy as well. Most of the time, the two spent their free time and class time talking and giggling to each other. Sometimes Kitty got pulled away by some of her other friends, but around 90% of the time, it was just the two of them. Sans had recently checked out a book on astronomy because Kitty said she loved how the crystals in the cave sparkled like the human stars. 

“Good morning, Sans!” Kitty greeted once the skeleton sat down.

“Hey, Kitty.” Sans greeted back with a grin. Today Kitty wore a yellow flower clip in her sky blue fur. “I like your clip,” Sans stated, causing the cat to blush.

“Thanks.” She said with a giggle. The skeleton noticed that his monster friend giggled a lot when around him. He even caught her giggling when she was with her other friends and looking his way. The skeleton wondered what was so humorous about him, but at the end of the day, cared far too little to ask.

“Are you excited to plant the flowers today? This is my fifth time doing it!” 

“I guess? I don't really see what the big deal about it is.” Sans admitted and Kitty gasped.

“Have you never seen them before?” The skeleton shook his head. “You'll see them today! Then you will understand! They are beautiful! The prettiest thing in the entire underground!” Kitty sighed dreamily and Sans just turned his attention to the teacher who just entered the room.

“Good morning, everyone! Are you all ready for to plant your flowers?” Miss Lyon asked with a grin. The class replied with a slew of shouts and cheers. “Ha ha, I'm thrilled to see you all so excited! Our class gets to go first for planting today. We will all get to meet the king outside in the garden. He told me to let you all know that you should call him Mr. Dreemur.” Sans smile fell a bit at the familiar name. Dreemur? “Please be on your best behavior or you won't be able to plant a flower. Now grab your coats and line up.”

The class lined up in their pairs and were lead to the garden. Kitty squeezed Sans' hand, radiating happiness, but it wasn't nearly as contagious as Papyrus'. A quite intimidatingly tall monster was facing away from the class, but Sans judged by the excitement of everyone else, that it was the King. Kitty and all the other students ran ahead, crowding around the King. Sans stayed behind, watching warily.

“Children!” Miss Lyon scolded. There was a low and deep chuckle before the king spun around and greeted the children. Sans froze, pupils vanishing as he stared at the large monsters. The radiant, purple cape draped down his back and shoulders, covering a large portion of the shiny, black metal armor that adorned his body. His golden hair was the same as Sans had recalled, trimmed and neatly maintained. Asgore had looked exactly the same from what Sans could recall, except for his eyes. Sans remembered his eyes being vacant and dead. When they had exchanged glimpses at each other Sans could see nothing but pity and misery in them. Now, the skeleton saw them sparkle as he looked over the children.

Sans felt anger begin to bubble inside of him. Why was Asgore so happy? Was it because he forgot? Was it because he looked at these children and saw them as new experiments? Why did he get to have that happy look on his disgusting face while Sans had to force it to appear on his own? Why did the king of all monsters, the protector of monsters, the heroic savior, the cause of Sans' misery and pain, get to look so happy while Sans always felt so miserable?

Sans was enraged, he felt his soul beat faster, fueling his bones with the magic he wanted to use. The skeleton wanted to show the king how furious he was. He wanted to show him first hand all the attacks, he allowed Sans to be trained to use. The skeleton wanted to show Asgore how much determination was injecting into his body and how well he could use it. Sans wanted to break him. The experiment wanted to present Asgore first hand the familiar smoldering pain he had to endure. To cover his body in the same lacerations that adored his own, to watch his skin melt away like his bones had, to watch as all hope faded from his eyes and was replaced with fear.

Sans wanted to break him.

 

~*~

 

_“Gaster, this is-”_

_“Exactly what you asked for. I have not only found a use for the human remains but also found a potential method of breaking the barrier and preventing the entire war from happening. Exactly, as you asked. ”_

_“I asked you to find a way to break the barrier! Not this!” Asgore watched the two skeleton children play with each other. The smaller one rolling around and laughing while the elder one entertained his brother, but watch Asgore and Gaster with anxious eyes._

_"You had no issues with 01S before, why has your opinion changed now? I made 02P as you asked and have complied with all of your requests._ _I have gone above and beyond your expectations, Asgore. This project, once complete, will be capable of-”_

_“I do not care what it is capable of! Those are children! You have used to bodies and souls of dead children to create your own! That is-”_

_"You see them that way now, but they are not. Do not forget what they are, your highness. What they will do."_

_"What they will do means nothing! You can't tell me-"_

_“I can bring back your own children,” Gaster stated and Asgore tensed up._

_“What?”_

_“Time and space, Asgore. This program, that child-” Gaster pointed to Sans who shrunk away from the finger, “they are the answer to all of your troubles. I can create for you a weapon capable of not only destroying humans in a single hit but also capable of altering time. If I can build this machine, Asgore, and get it functional and operational, I can ensure that we win that war. I can ensure you that the war will never even happen and that I can save your children that were murdered by the humans. Do you not want that? Don't you want your family back? The weight of the humans lives you took will be gone, you wife back by your side, your children alive, the monsters free and living without fear.” Gaster held back a grin as he watched Asgore's face become less angry and sadder._

_“How is that even possible? How could you even do something like that?” The doctor directed the king's attention to the large white board behind him._

_“Science, my friend. This machine, when functional, will be capable of altering time and space. All I need to do is create the perfect creature capable of withstanding the journey. With your help, I can do that.”_

_“What can I do to help?” Asgore asked and Gaster bit back his grin, turning away in case he was unable to contain his excitement._

_“I need access to the souls and your determination deposit.”Gaster felt the air grow tense. He remained calm, knowing that showing any sign of doubt would cause the king to cancel his project._

_“I cannot give them to you.”_

_“I do not need the entire soul, only the extra energy,” Gaster stated, facing the king. “I will be able to create my own energy once I have an example to work with.” Asgore held the scientist in a firm gaze. He watched the doctor waiting for him to turn away or break under the intense eye contact but he remained firm and Asgore gave in._

_“You are certain this will break the barrier?”_

_“And bring you back your family as well,” Gaster added and Asgore looked over at the skeletons. The younger one was now asleep in the arms of the elder one, but the larger skeleton watched them with a gaze that made Asgore squirm._

_“I will have the souls sent down and the determination brought in. However, I want you to do something in return.”_

_“And that is?”_

_“If the project fails, you are to stop production immediately and whatever experiments you have created must be terminated peacefully.”_

_“I can agree to that.” Gaster held out his hand, ready to agree upon the terms._

_“And you must give them names. Every creature deserves a name.” Asgore added and Gaster nodded. The two shook hands and Gaster looked over at the skittish skeleton. The skeleton tucked away from the toddler and looked away from the two._

_“Sans.” The skeleton looked up. “Come here, bring Papyrus.” In seconds, Sans was on his feet and walking over to the two monsters. He stood around two feet away, eyes cast downward. “Introduce yourself.”_

_“Font series experiment 01. Category S, Sans. Subject name WD01S.” The skeleton hesitantly raised the sleeping toddler in his arms. “Font series experiment 02. Category P, Papyrus. Subject name WD02P.” The skeleton lowered his shaking arms, bringing the child back to his chest._

_“Satisfied?” Gaster asked Asgore who watched the terrified skeleton before him. He knew it was cruel to allow whatever Gaster was doing to continue. Asgore knew that something awful was happening in the labs. The king wanted to shut down the program and take the children away, but he couldn't. He had to think of the people, of the future. If the lives of two creatures would save the entire race of monsters, he'd sacrifice them. It was what he had to do as king. He had to make choices that resulted in other's deaths, whether it was a war or these skeletons._

_So he turned away, from the skeletons. He gave Gaster permission to torment them and cause them pain and suffering. It eventually became too much. The visits became less frequent and Asgore watched as Sans, the scarred skeleton, changed. His eyes were always fearful, but the light little pupils faded with every visit. Every time they landed on Asgore, they were filled with hate and disgust. A look Asgore rightfully deserved._

 

~*~

 

“Alright, does everyone have a flower?” Miss Lyon asked, looking over the children. She spotted Sans still far away and walked over to him. “Sans, are you alright?” The skeleton took in a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, well how about you join the class and pick out a flower to plant?” With another nod, Sans walked over to the long rows of potted plants and picked one up at random. He remained far away, face emotionless.

Every little thing Asgore did, enraged Sans. His laugh, smile, sneeze, even just his chest moving with each breath, annoyed the skeleton. Sans wanted nothing more than to bury the king in the ground rather than the dumb flower.

 

~*~

 

_“Gaster, a-are you sure he's-” Another scream tore through Sans' body, bones shaking and pulling against his restraints as the determination worked through his bones. Asgore winced against the blood-curdling shriek._

_“Determination injections can be rather painful, I will admit. However, they are necessary in order for 01S to make is through the force of the machine.” Gaster stated, writing down on his clipboard. Asgore bit down on his lip, flinching away from the inhuman screech that filled the room._

_“I-Isn't there some other way? One less painful?” Gaster paused in his writing and looked up._

_“You gave me a deadline. I plan to reach it. We are almost there, just a few more injections and he should be ready.” The skeleton went still and Gaster walked over to him. “01S.” The skeleton opened one eye, panting heavily. “Report.” Sans trembled, bones rattling against the cold metal table. Sans tried to open his mouth to speak but was physically unable to. Asgore watched as Gaster frowned, eyes narrowing. The skeleton noticed it as well and tried once more to speak._

_“ **S-SEN** -” Gaster slammed his hand down on the table, the skeleton violently flinched away, a small shriek escaping as he prepared for an attack. _

_“I do apologize, Asgore. He is usually more behaved. I may need an extension on the deadline after all. You clearly aren't nearly as use to the determination as I had thought. I wonder how 02P is doing on it?” Gaster wondered and Asgore was shocked when the skeleton went still, eyes snapping open to look at Gaster with a begging look on his face._

_“Senses function! Left eye is sensitive! Pain levels high, mainly in the skull, left ulna, and soul, the entire body is sore! Soul heavier and more sensitive than before injection! Magic levels-” Gaster raised his hand and the skeleton silenced himself. The doctor jotted down a few notes and turned to Asgore._

_“Have you seen everything you needed to?” Asgore swallowed and nodded._

_“Y-Yes, I think I have.”_

_“Good, I hope you are satisfied with the results so far. None of it would be possible without your help. I will not let any of it go to waste.” Asgore took one last glance at the skeleton, the black hollow sockets stared back at him with such animosity. Without another word the king left and Gaster turned back around to face Sans, a wicked grin on his face._

 

_~*~_

 

Sans stood, far away from the class, glaring at Asgore. The plastic pot in his grip was crinkling under the force he pressed on it. When the King let out a loud laugh, the skeleton's fingers punctured the plastic, the container breaking in half, causing the dirt to fall onto Sans' shoes, the yellow flower landing sideways on the ground. The noise caught the attention of his teacher and Asgore. The royal monster seemed a bit shocked to see Sans directing such a hateful look at him. His teacher, on the other hand, seemed to ignore it completely.

“Sans, look at the mess you made. The flower will not bloom with the others if you damage it. You don't want to have a damaged flower do you?” Sans' eyes were locked onto the king's. The child raised his foot, hovering it over the golden plant before bringing it down to the life below. He pressed his foot down, moving it side to side before scrapping it against the ground. A trail of yellow blood from the flower followed Sans' movements. The flower now a smashed pile of golden gob.

“Perhaps you should give it a name,” Sans spoke to Asgore, the king seemed very uneasy. “Every creature deserves a name.”

“Sans!” The teacher scolded. The class turned around to look at the scene. A few gasped at the dead flower while others began to whisper harsh words about how crazy Sans was. The king seemed to be bothered by the children's words, wondering why they did not seem to bother Sans' at all. The king stood up and walked over to Miss Lyon. The monster opened her mouth to apologize, but Asgore held up his hand and smiled.

“Would you mind helping the children plant their flowers for a moment? I'd like to speak with Sans.”

“Yes, of course, your highness!” Miss Lyon said with a bow. “Sans behave yourself.” She hissed at him before running off to the children, grabbing their attention.

“Little one, you seem to be having a problem,” Asgore stated, kneeling down next to Sans. He reached his hand out to touch Sans but the skeleton growled and stepped out of reach.

“Do not touch me,” Sans warned and Asgore sighed but nodded.

“If I am honest, I do not recall us meeting before. It makes me quite curious as to why you seem to have such hatred towards me. Have I done something to you? Perhaps something I said caused you distress?” Sans scoffed and his gaze got colder. Of course, Asgore didn't remember, no one did. Only Sans remembered because only Sans was there. The king recalled nothing of Papyrus or Sans. He had no memories of Gaster or the lab. No memories of his encounter with the skeletons.

“How lucky,” Sans muttered, taking a step back.

“Have we met before, child? I'd like to resolve your anger. I do not wish for you to be upset. If I can help you in any way I'd love to do so.” Sans let out a dry laugh. Help? Sans would love help. He'd love help forgetting the misery he allowed to happen. He'd love help forgetting the pain the king allowed him to be in. He'd love help forgetting every single moment he spent in the labs that the king allowed.

“You can't help. You caused it. You allowed it to happen.” Sans snarled, eyes flickered slightly. Asgore swallowed loudly, looking uncomfortable and puzzled.

“Caused what, child? What did I allow to happen?” Asgore tried to get closer to Sans but the skeleton growled, eyes hollow and void of life.

“Don't touch me,” Sans demanded, fists clenched in rage by his side.

“I will not touch you if you do not wish me to. Sans, believe me when I say I just want to help you. I never want you to feel upset. I am the king of all monsters. I wish to help each and every last one of my people.”

“You don't care about any of them.” Sans hissed, this time stepping closer to Asgore and causing him to lean away. “You'd do anything to get them out of the underground. Even if it meant killing children like me.” Asgore paled, eyes wide as he stared at Sans. “You'd allow every child here to be tested and tormented if it meant lifting the barrier. You'd allow children like me to die, all for the sake of banishing that barrier. You don't care about the people. You don't care about anything but the barrier. You call yourself the king of all monsters. You say you wish to help your people, but you are nothing but a disgusting, vile, cruel, child-”

“Sans!” Sans was suddenly lifted into the air, arms wrapped around his middle, holding his arms down. Miss Lyon held onto Sans, and the skeleton squirmed in her grasp. Asgore took a few moments to collect himself, standing before he bumped his horn on something. He glanced up and froze when he saw a pointed bone hovering right over where he was sitting. The bone vanished as Sans squirmed and the king rose, trying to get his thoughts in order.

“Miss Lyon,” Asgore called, “I think it's best if we contact Sans' parents.” The teacher looked nervous but nodded.

“Yes of course. I am so sorry about all of this, your highness. Sans really is just-”

“I want Papyrus!” Sans shouted, kicking out and against his teacher. “I want Papyrus!”

“Who is Papyrus?” The king asked and the teach sighed.

“His brother, Karol, can you look after the children for a few minutes?” The garden nodded and gathered the children, taking them away from the scene. “Sans, listen to me. I will get your brother only if you calm down.” Sans whined, but stilled and Miss Lyon relaxed a bit.

“Good, thank you. We can get your brother, but you have to hold my hand the entire time. Do you understand?” She waited for Sans to nod before setting him down, holding his hand. “Your highness, you can go with the children if you want. You do not have to worry about Sans. He really didn't mean-”

“It's quite alright, Maisy. If it is alright with you, I'd like to accompany you.” Maisy just nodded.

“Yes, of course!”

The three started to walk back into the school. Asgore walked on the other side of Sans' teacher, the skeleton actively avoiding the king every chance he got. When they reached his brother's classroom, Sans tried to run ahead, but Maisy Lion held him back, frowning.

“Stay here, alright?” The skeleton frowned, but nodded and Maisy knocked lightly on the door before entering. “Hey, Jule. Do you mind if I take Papyrus for the rest of the day?”

“Is Sans okay?” Papyrus asked and Asgore watched as Sans visibly brightened at the sound.

“We are in the middle of-” Maisy gave her an unnoticeable look. “Yeah, okay. Papyrus, gather your stuff. I'm going to need you to come in early tomorrow to catch up, alright?”

“Okay!” Papyrus called, already halfway out the door. Maisy closed the door when Papyrus left. The skeletons grinned at each other, Papyrus flinging himself at his brother who easily caught him and held onto him.

“Hey, Pap!” Sans greeted with a smile.

“Brother, why are you-” Papyrus gasped spotting Asgore. He cowered slightly against Sans, who held onto his brother protectively, glaring at Asgore till the king stepped back. “He's the biggest monster I've ever seen!” Papyrus whispered to Sans.

“Sans, hurry up. We need to go to the office.” Miss Lyon called and Sans quickly chased after her, happy to avoid Asgore.

“Sans who is that?” Papyrus asked, trying his best to see over Sans' shoulder. “Who are you?” Papyrus questioned when he got no answer from his brother.

 “My name is Asgore Dreemur. I am the king of all monsters.” Papyrus gasped and began squirming in Sans' grasp till he got an arm free.

“My name is Papyrus! I am Sans' younger brother! I didn't know that we had a king--Wah!” Sans pulled Papyrus away when Asgore reached his hand out to shake Papyrus' offered hand. Sans turned Papyrus away, facing the king, eye glowing and low rumble vibrating his bones.

“Your-” Maisy began, but the king cut her off.

 “Please, just call me Mr. Dreemur.” She nodded and pull him aside.

“Mr. Dreemur, sir, I-I know it's a bit odd, but please refrain from getting too close to Papyrus.” Miss Lyon instructed in a hushed tone so the skeletons would not overhear. “Sans has been known to attack a few monsters who have gotten too close.”

“Oh, uh, alright?”

“Sans, no! I want to see the king!” Papyrus pushed against his brother, but Sans held firm.

“No,” Papyrus whined and flopped against his brother.

“I'm sorry, your highness. My brother doesn't like new monsters.”

“It's quite alright Papyrus. I'm sure he has a valid reason.” Papyrus just hummed.

The four monsters went to the main office and Sans took a seat with Papyrus and watched as Maisy called Grillby on the phone.

“Hello? Yes, good afternoon, Mr. Grillby. This is Maisy Lyon, San-... Yes, he is perfectly fine. Please do not worry. I have both boys in the office right now. If it's possible I'd like to ask you to come to the school to discuss an incident that happened today with Sans… No, nothing bad… Yes okay, thank you. I will see you soon.”

“What did you do, brother?” Papyrus asked, laying across a few chairs.

“Nothing,” Sans mumbled and the younger brother grunted, poking his brother's side. “You got a lot of homework?” Sans asked, changing the subject.

“No, just a few things. We have to read this book about a monster who got lost in the forest and has to find his way home. It looks interesting.”

“Sounds super cool, bro,” Sans stated, sounding a bit tense as Asgore exited the principle's office. The office was tense, only Papyrus seeming to not notice at all, instead of playing around with his brother's arm and jacket in boredom. Grillby entered the office within minutes and froze a bit when he spotted Asgore.

“Your highness?” Grillby sounded shocked and Asgore shared the same bewildered expression.

“Grillby? Ha, hello, old friend!” Sans watched in horror as Asgore hugged Grillby, Grillby not returning the hug.

“I'm sorry, but I'm looking for my-Sans!” Grillby spotted the two boys, stepping close, but Sans leaned back, eyes darting between the two monsters. “Sans, what's wrong?” Grillby asked, but got no response.

“Hi, Grillby!” Papyrus greeted, sliding off the chair to greet him.

“Hello, Papyrus. Do you know what happened?” Papyrus shook his head.

“I'm sorry, old friend, but I think it was my fault somehow. Sans doesn't seem to like my presence all too much.”

“Sans, are you alright?” Sans did not respond, only continues to stare at Asgore and Grillby. “I'm sorry to ask this, but do you mind stepping outside for a moment?” Grillby asked Asgore.

“Yes, of course, Grillby. I will just be right outside.” When he left Sans stared at the door.

“Y-You know him?” He asked, voice soft and scared.

“Yes, we fought in the war together. He is in charge, leading it like the general in a sense. We've known each other for a very long time.” Sans whimpered, no longer feeling safe in Grillby's presence. Grillby would want to know what happened. Sans was going to have to tell him, but how? Grillby would pick Asgore's side. Sans had nothing to prove his claims with. Asgore remembered nothing and he was friends with Grillby.

The older skeleton suddenly felt very cornered. He curled into himself and violently flinched when Grillby tried to get closer. Home. He needs to go home. He needed to take Papyrus and go home. His eyes quickly scanned the room, no one but Grillby and Papyrus were watching him. He could escape, he could make a run for it.

“Sans, take a deep breath. Please, tell me what happened. Did Asgore say something? Do you know him?” Sans felt his soul begin to thump, creating more magic Sans would need for his escape. Papyrus stepped forward, resting his hand on his brother's leg.

“Brother, are you okay?” Sans quickly jumped up from the chair and wrapped his arms around his brother. Glancing between Grillby and the door, Sans took in a shaky breath. Sans needed to leave. He needed to go home, he needed to be away from the school in a place he knew would be safe for Papyrus and himself. Squeezing his eyes shut, the elder skeleton held onto his brother and took one last deep breath before blinking out of the room.

“Sans!” Grillby called but panicked when he watched the skeleton vanish with a flash of blue light. “Fucking shit!” Grillby cursed, running to the door. The fire element collided into Asgore, the sturdy monster feeling nothing but Grillby was knocked onto the ground. He shook off his blunder and pushed his way past Asgore.

“Grillby, is something the matter?” Asgore peeked into the room and noticed the missing skeletons. “Where are-”

“I'm sorry Asgore, but I need to leave,” Grillby stated before running out of the school. The bartender sprinted down the street, eyes scanning alleyways and roads as he made his way home. He flung open the door, panting heavily. “Sans?” Grillby called and Papyrus ran down the stairs.

“Grillby, Sans won't open the door!” Papyrus informed the fire monster and Grillby made his way up the stairs and tried to open the bedroom door. It was locked, just as Papyrus had said. Grillby knocked on the door.

“Sans?” He called but got no response. Grillby's pressed the side of his head to the door, trying to see if he could hear anything. “Sans, please open the door!” With no response Grillby cursed. “Sans, I'm coming in whether you want me to or not. Open the door!” With no reply, Grillby pushed Papyrus aside and rolled up his sleeves. Taking a step back, Grillby raised his leg and kicked out at the door. The wooden door stood no chance and with a loud bang and crackling of the door breaking, the door swung open.

“Sans!” Papyrus cried, running inside.

The elder skeleton was curled up in the corner of the room, mumbling to himself, an ominous cyan light floating around him. Papyrus clung onto his brother, Sans did not seem to react at all. Something told him not to. He was panicking, his reality and memories fading as the line between them disappeared. 

_**WD01S.** _

Sans eyes snapped open, empty and hollow. That voice. Here? Where was here? It had to be the lab. Sans was back in the lab. He must have failed the experiment. Why didn't he feel strapped down? Something was holding his arm. What was-Papyrus. Why was Papyrus is the lab with Sans? The doctor was here. The doctor was angry. Papyrus was in danger. Sans was in danger. He was back in the lab-wait, was he out of the lab? Was there the world outside the white walls? No. Yes? 

_**Respond.** _

Again. Why couldn't Sans see? His skull throbbed as the whispering voice of his nightmares echoed inside of his skull. Crying, who was crying? Papyrus? Was Papyrus crying? It was because of him, Sans had failed him again. His baby brother was being tormented and it was all his fault. Why was he so useless? Sans wanted to scream and rip his skull apart. The crying was so loud. Stop. Please stop! Anything! Sans would do anything, just make that crying stop!

_**Up.** _

Grillby stepped into the room and Sans mumbling stopped. With another step closer, Sans was on his feet, Papyrus behind him, trapped in the corner and his brother. Grillby lifted his foot to get closer but was paralyzed by the large skull that manifested itself between the skeletons and himself. Papyrus let out a whimper, scared by the goat skull that oozed blue smoke out of its mouth and nostrils.

“Sans, what happened today?” Grillby asked and he felt his flame flicker nervously as Sans' left eye grew brighter against the flickering flame.

“ **G e t  o u t,”** Sans warned, the skull letting out a growl as its mouth opened slightly, an attack charging. Grillby knew. Friend. They were friends. Asgore and Gaster were friends. Asgore and Grillby were friends. They all were friends. They all watched him suffer, mocked his weakness, and tormented him. The voice didn't have to tell Sans what to do anymore. The Doctor never had to tell Sans what to do. His voice was always just a reminder, an enforcer. 

“Sans, I can't-”

“ **You knew. He knew. He let it happen. You let it happen. Get out. GET OUT! G E T  O U T!”** Sans screamed the attack now fully charged and ready to fire.

“GET OUT!” Papyrus begged, translating for Grillby. “Get out of the room! He's going to hurt you! Get out!” Grillby stepped back, making his way to the door without taking his eyes off the skeletons.

 _ **Fire the blaster, 60%.**_ A voice whispered to Sans.

 **“60%. Fire? Fire.”** Sans repeated.

“No, don't! Sans don't fire he's leaving!” Papyrus begged using all his force and magic to stop his brother but he was powerless.

_**Fire** _ _**or Papyrus will be my next target.** _

Sans let out a sob, tears trailing down his cheek bones and he clenched his fist.

 **“F I R E.”** And the blaster did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are just the best ever. Seriously, you are incredible.


	11. Fight and Exhaustion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Combination of Fight and Exhaustion

There was a large hole in the wall where Grillby once stood. Sans glared, watching the smoke rise up from the burnt wall and floor, looking around for a pile of dust, but spotting nothing. The skeleton panted, puzzled as to how his attack missed.

“Grillby?!” Papyrus cried out, pushing and shoving against Sans. The smaller skeleton managed to peek out from behind Sans and gasped at the hole. “Grillby?!” Papyrus called out, desperation in his voice.

“Kid, I'm fine.” The bartender answered, surprising both skeletons. The flame monster stepped out from the small sliver of wall left. Parts of his clothes were torn, a dark blue and purple flame flickering out of the holes. His usual orange glow was gone and was instead replaced with a more rusty shade of red. Grillby was panting, watching Sans carefully as the skeleton remained still. As his panic faded, the blaster vanished as well. His regular white pupils returned and the hateful look shifted into something timider.

“Are you okay?” Papyrus asked, no longer struggling to break free.

“Yea, I'll be fine,” Grillby responded, taking his chances with getting close to the children. After taking two slow steps forward, Grillby paused, only three feet away from the skeletons. “Sans?” Grillby tested, watching the skeleton squirm. Sans glanced up and him before looking back down, afraid of what would happen next.

Sans had gotten too defensive. He had done so many terrible things in just a few minutes times. He had scared his brother, summoned a blaster, and attack Grillby. Sans would never in his life have enough courage to attack Grillby like that. Yet there he was, blasting an attack at Grillby, intended on killing him. Feeling his brother's presence behind him, Sans stepped to the side, allowing him to squeeze by and rush over to Grillby. He suddenly felt heavy and sunk to his knees, feeling tears forming in his sockets.

“Papyrus, can you get me two apples, please?” Grillby asked and Papyrus nodded, running out of the room. Grillby knelt down, giving Sans the space he needed until he asked The flame to get closer. “Kiddo, you got to talk to me.” The bartender insisted, no longer allowing Sans to hide away. Sans remained quiet and Papyrus returned, handing the two apples to Grillby.

“...Can I go play downstairs?” Papyrus asked, sensing the tension in the room.

“Yes,” Grillby said and Papyrus grabbed a coloring book and packet of markers before exiting the room. A few minutes of silence passed and Grillby was ready to press Sans for answers but Sans spoke up.

“...I'm sorry.” He whispered, feeling the tears trickle down his face. His bony arms wrapped around himself in a desperate attempt to hold onto the reality around him.

“I know you are,” Grillby replied, taking a bite of the apple, replenishing the health he has lost in the blast. The bartender rolled the other apple over to Sans, who lifted his head slightly to look at it. “It'll help,” Grillby stated, taking another bite. Sans hesitantly released his grip on his jacket and took hold on the apple. He didn't bite into it, just stared down at the red color.

“A-...Are you...okay?” Sans questioned, once Grillby finished the apple.

“Are you?” Grillby shot back and Sans grip tightened on the apple. “I never want to force you to do something you don't want to, Sans, but I cannot allow you to brush this aside and act like nothing happened. I need to know what happened today and I want you to tell me.”

“You won't-...you won't believe me,” Sans muttered.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because,” Sans whispered, releasing the apple from his hands. He stared at the ground, body limp, his entire demeanor seeming defeated and broken. “You know him.”

“Asgore?” Sans nodded. “Is he why you are acting this way?” The skeleton shrugged. “Why do you think I won't believe you if I know him?”

“Because he doesn't remember.”

“Remember what?” Grillby pressed. Sans fidgeted with his sleeve, shaking his head back and forth. “Sans, what doesn't he remember?” The skeleton just shook his head.

Sand didn't want to say his name. The very name that haunted him, tormenting him in his sleep. The name behind all his suffering.

“Sans, tell me.”

“Don't make me say his name, please.” Sans pleaded, tears spilling as he squeezed his eyes shut as he begged Grillby. “Please don't. Please I-I can't, I don't-please.” Sans sobbed.

Grillby instantly regretted forcing Sans to speak. He reached out to comfort the skeleton, but Sans flinched away shaking as he cried.

“P-Please I'm sorry. I'm sorry, any else. I'll do anything else just please, don't make me say it. Please! I'm sorry!” Sans wailed.

“Sans, calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you this upset.” Grillby apologized, trying his best to comfort the skeleton without touching him. “I just want to help you. I don't know how I can do that if you keep everything a secret. I just want to be able to understand you and support you when you need it.” Sans just nodded, wiping at his face as he tried to calm himself down. “You don't have to talk about it if it you don't want to, but please kiddo, fill me in on something. I can't just keep pretending like nothing happened and like you are okay. You got to let me in. I won't be mad at you and I won't think of you any differently. I will always believe you, no matter what you say. It doesn't matter if it's about Asgore or Bonnie, I trust you and will believe you.”

“W-Why? You've known-n him longer. Why would you b-believe me?” Sans asked.

“Just because I've known him for a long time doesn't mean I hold his word over yours. All Asgore and I ever did with each other iwas fight in a war. It's not exactly a topic to build a friendship around.”

“H-He said you were his fr-friend.”

“He had an interesting way of speaking, very formal yet informal. We aren't strangers by any means, but I haven't actually spoken or seen him, minus today, in around two years.”

“Why?” Sans questioned and Grillby sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don't like to talk about the past too much and being around Asgore brings back a lot of bad memories. It's kind of hard to forget shit you don't want to think about when they are surrounding you all the time. That's why I moved out here, away from the capital and away from the past. I wanted to move on with my life and forget about the past.”

“How'd you forget about it? How do you make it go away?”

“You don't really,” Grillby admitted sadly. “It will always be there, but you don't always have to let it get to you. Talking to people helps sometimes, other times it's best to just be alone. Repressing it and forcing it away doesn't do anything but make it worse.”

“But I don't like talking about it,” Sans admitted, tucking himself away in his jacket.

“No one likes talking about stuff like this, kiddo. It's not fun, it's depressing and sucks big time, but holding it in results in shit like this happening.” Grillby pointed to the hole in the wall and Sans shrunk into himself a bit. “You can't just keep your feelings bottled up. Sooner or later they will come out and most of the time, it's not pretty.”

“How do you talk about it? I can't even think about it without panicking.” Sans informed Grillby who rested his back against the wall.

“You start slow. Just say what you can and slowly you will start feeling more comfortable and open up more. It could take months or years to really open up and talk about some things, but even just talking about the smallest details help.” Sans frowned, resting his body against the same wall Grillby was laying against.

“How did you meet Asgore?” Sans questioned and Grillby lets out a long breath.

“Jeez, kiddo, that was a long time ago,” Grillby admitted, rolling the apple over to Sans. “I met him when I volunteered to go to war. He met with all the new guard members personally, making sure we were willing to go through voluntarily. He met with me and made sure I was willing to go through and that it was by choice to do so.”

“Asgore he-...He introduced him.”

“He introduced him?” Grillby repeated, not understanding the sentence.

“The-...” Sans fiddled with his jacket trying to find another way to say Gaster's name without using the name. “The doctor,” Sans mumbled, shivering at the name.

“The doctor introduced you to Asgore?” The skeleton shook his head.

“He introduced Asgore to us. The doctor needed permission to work on his project and needed the king to sign off on his work.” Sans explained. “The doctor had to show Asgore his-...project, though. So Asgore met us so the doctor could continue his work.”

Grillby felt his body heat up at Sans' words. Project? Sans and Papyrus were a project to this doctor? And Asgore, he allowed this cruel treatment to continue?

“He came by every now and then.” Sans continued, trying his best not to be vague, but not wanting to talk about at the same time. “The doctor needed to keep him informed because he was using things Asgore needed to monitor and keep track of. Asgore had access to determination, souls, human remains, the doctor needed them for his project. The doctor's project was supposed to help break the barrier because that's what Asgore said he wanted. The doctor did more, though, he promised the King he could bring back his children and prevent them from dying. He made a lot of empty promises, but he always did that. The doctor lied a lot.”

“The doctor, he wasn't nice was he?” Grillby asked and Sans nodded.

“He wasn't very nice.”

“Did Asgore ever see him be mean to you?”

“Yes,” Sans admitted.

“And he allowed it to happen?”

“He watched sometimes.” The skeleton confessed, white pupils faded as he got lost in thought. “He never looked happy when he did. He always asked if there was some other method. Some way to make it hurt less, but it never did anything.” Sans rested his head on top of his knees and took in a deep breath. “I hate him.” He admitted out loud. “It's all his fault. Everything is his fault and he doesn't even remember. Nobody remembers, but me.” Grillby watched Sans stare idly at the wall ahead of him, lost in thought. Grillby was feeling sickened but sympathetic at the same time. He was disgusted that the king was aware of the torment happening and refused to do anything, even watched it happen. Yet the distress Sans felt about being the only one to 'remember' made Grillby's anger melt.

“Sans, how come nobody remembers?” Sans shook his head.

“Why did you sign up for the war?” Sans asked instead.

“I wanted to help monsters,” Grillby replied. “Wanted to make sure my family was safe. I wanted to do something.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Volunteering? No, not really. I sometimes regret the fighting. A lot of monsters died, close friends, family members, it was hard to endure.” Grillby shivered, pushing the memories away. “I was lucky I had magic that actually damaged humans without summoning their souls. Humans aren't exactly flame repellent, lucky me.” Grillby let out a dry laugh and Sans frowned, looking up at him.

“Did you kill anyone?” Grillby flame flickered lowly, blue waves flashing through.

“No, not kill,” Grillby answered. “I hurt a lot of people, though. Humans don't injure themselves like we do. If you hurt a human, they bleed. If you burn them their skin melts and burns off. They can't heal by eating, either. They-” Grillby lets out a shaky breath, this time shaking his head.

“Do you hate Asgore for fighting the humans?”

“No, I do not. I don't agree with his actions, but I'd never hate him.”

“Do you hate the humans for killing the monsters?”

“No, Sans, I don't. Hate is a very powerful emotion. It's one I prefer to stay away from, or else it can consume you.”

“Is it bad, that I hate Asgore?”

“I feel like you are allowed to dislike him, but maybe you can grow to accept him, one day.”

“Never,” Sans muttered. “He allowed it all to happen. He watched and signed off on every experiment and supplied him with everything he needed. It's his fault I'm unhappy. It's his fault I am broken. It's his fault that I was created. It's all his fault!” Sans shouted, slamming his fist on the ground. “I want to hurt him,” Sans admitted, eyes narrow. “I want to make him feel what I felt. I want to watch him get strapped down and injected with determination. I want to watch him be so overworked he passes out, only to be shocked awake to continue work. I want to see his face scrunch up in pain as all hope fades away, his scream echoing in that room, as the name _H_ _e_ gave him is carved into his skin permanently marking him and reminding him that he is an object and nothing more. I want Asgore to hurt just like I did.” Angry tears were streaming down Sans' face. He turned his head ready to continue, but he froze when he saw the fire element. His flamed head was low, almost gone completely. His entire body was a dark navy color, the lower part of his face and chest were a dark red. Sans was startled, never seeing the bartender like this before.

Grillby felt ill. Sans, the poor, brave skeleton had suffered so much. Grillby had predicted that the skeleton had been through some tough times, but this? Strapped to tables, injected, shocked, Grillby wanted to vomit. He didn't know how it was possible for someone to be that cruel and to Sans, a child. It infuriated him that Asgore knew and witnessed it happen yet did nothing. Grillby was appalled and outraged, a strong desire to punch the king in the face growing within him. The bartender wanted to protect the skeletons he had grown to love. He wanted to ensure Sans never felt threatened or scared. He wanted to make sure they both were not only safe but loved as well. Grillby's loved the two skeletal children, he really did. He was protective over them, he cared for them, he watched over them. The fire monster wanted to ensure that Sans no longer needed to be the overprotective big brother because Grillby was there to watch over both of them.

“I-I'm so-” Sans apology was cut off with a squeak as Grillby pulled the skeleton into a tight hug.

“Fucking hell, kiddo.” Grillby cursed. “Don't ever apologize for talking to me, never do that. I will never be angry at you for opening up to me. I will _never_ be angry at you for trusting me. I am just so repulsed and heartbroken that you ever had to go through something that terrible. I am so damn sorry. I am so sorry you had to go through that.” Grillby felt Sans shuffle in his arms, his small hands reaching up to grip tightly on Grillby's shirt. The skeleton rested his head against Grillby's warm chest, basking in the heat that encased him with a secure feeling. “Sans, I know you don't want to talk about it.” Grillby began, feeling the skeleton tense up in his arms. “I just-I just want to make sure you feel safe.”

“I do,” Sans admitted.

“I'm glad, but I want to know. Whoever did this, the doctor, is he still out there?” A long moment of silence passed. “We can stop him. We can make sure that he never hurts you ever again. We can make he never hurts anyone ever again.”

“No,” Sans whispered, grip tightening. “He's gone.” Grillby felt oddly relieved yet unsatisfied. If Sans was telling the truth, then the main cause of this all was gone. Whether gone meant no longer in the picture or dead, Grillby didn't know. He assumed this doctor was dead, wishing he was only alive so that the fire monster could beat him to death himself.

“Then, you are safe,” Grillby whispered, rubbing Sans' back. “I will protect you and look after you for as long as I can.” The bartender promised, the skeleton nodding his head.

“O-Okay,” Sans replied, voice cracking.

There was a soft knock on the front door and Sans went rigid. Grillby stood up, holding the skeleton as he exited the room. Papyrus, being the one closest, swung open the door.

“Hello, your highness!” Papyrus greeted cheerfully. The elder skeleton immediately shoved Grillby away, desperate to get his brother away from the king but Grillby retained him.

“Papyrus!” Both monsters shouted, startling the smaller skeleton.

“I'm sorry!” Papyrus stated, slamming the door in Asgore's face. “Is Sans okay?” The worried brother asked, making his way up the stairs.

“Yes, he is fine. Come here, please, Papyrus.” Grillby requested. He leads the two skeletons into his bedroom, peeling Sans off of him to set him on the bed. “I'm going to go talk to Asgore. Both of you please stay here.” Grillby stated, wrapping a plush blanket around Sans, the younger skeleton crawling his way under. “Papyrus look after Sans for me, make sure he stays calm.” Grillby left the room, returning quickly with a notebook, crayons, and a few toys he grabbed in a rush. He set them down and rearranged the blanket when Papyrus crawled into Sans' lap, the elder skeleton holding him close.

“You'll be back, right?” Sans asked, clutching onto Papyrus.

“As soon as I am done talking. Are you both okay?” They both nodded, Papyrus reaching out for the crayons while Sans watched Grillby with an anxious gaze. “I'll leave the door open slightly, alright? Just let me know if you need me.” The bartender instructed, waiting for Sans to confirm he was okay before he left the room. Grillby pulled the door with him as he left, leaving it open just a crack so the brothers could peek out or listen in on the conversation if they wanted to. Grillby took in a deep breath, calming his agitated and fluctuating body. Running a hand down his face, he made his way to the door. Gripping the knob, the bartender took one last deep breath before pulling it open. Asgore stood out in the snow, looking nervous and uneasy. Grillby felt his body heat up, but quickly released the breath he was holding in and calmed himself down.

“Grillby, hello.” Asgore greeted awkwardly.

“Asgore,” Grillby replied. After a few seconds of silence, the fire element held open the door. “Would you like to come in?” Grillby really didn't want to nosey town to overhear the rather personal conversation that was about to take place.

“Yes, thank you.” Asgore entered the house, ducking so not to bump his head on the way in. They took a seat at the table, Grillby offering the king a drink that he gladly accepted.

“If you are concerned about Sans, I can tell you that he is fine,” Grillby stated, handing Asgore his tea. “He is prone to panic attacks and he is very easily triggered.” Grillby sat down, glancing at his bedroom door before returning his gaze to Asgore.

“I see. I don't recall you having these children before. I know we haven't exactly kept in contact all too much since you moved away, but still, it is quite a shock. I didn't think you were a family type of man.” Asgore admitted.

“I didn't think I was either, but sometimes we are just full of surprises.” Grillby took a small sip of his whiskey. Although Grillby wasn't one to normally drink, especially now with the children, he needed something to keep his senses dulled and body calm.

“I suppose so,” Asgore stated, shifting in his seat. “I am curious, though. I don't see a spouse at all, so are the children by chance-”

“Adopted? Yes. They were living on the streets in town and I took them in.” Asgore's face shifted from shock to sorrow.

“Oh, I'm glad they have a good home now. I don't know how they could have ended up on the streets, though. What happened to their parents?” Grillby gripped his glass tightly in his hands.

“Nonexistent.”

“Nonexistent? Do you mean they have died or-”

“I have no idea who or where they are if they even exist. The children have yet to speak of any parental figures and I refuse to question them about matters they are not willing to speak of themselves. I am their guardian now and that's all that matters.”

“I suppose so. How long have you had them?”

“Since December.”

“Almost five months and they haven't mentioned their parents or past at all?”

“They have hinted at a few things, but Papyrus was too young to recall them and Sans doesn't enjoy speaking about it. I doubt you came by to speak about their past, however, is there something you need?” Grillby asked, changing the subject.

“Yes, there is indeed something I wanted to discuss. It was with Sans, though. Is it at all possible to-”

“No.” The blunt response threw off the king's composure.

“Is there any reason why I cannot speak to him?”

“He is not well.” Grillby took a large gulp, nearly finishing his drink. “Anything you want to ask him, you can ask me. I will be more than happy to answer what I can.”

“I do not think you could answer my questions, Grillby. If Sans speaks as little as you claim, then I doubt he has spoken to you about what I wish to question him on.”

“And what exactly, are you going to question him on? What would he tell you, a complete stranger, that he would not tell me, his guardian?”

“Private matters. He spoke of them at the school. I am unable to discuss them with you or anyone for that matter so I am very perplexed as to how some child knows about it. I would like to be respectful and ask you first, as his guardian, to speak with him before I have to involve the royal guards.” Asgore straightened up, no longer using his polite tone.

“Sans has done nothing wrong. Under what circumstances do you think you have to interrogate my child? You have no evidence or proof that Sans knows or has done anything illegal that is deserving of-”

“Grillby.” Asgore leaned in, eyes cold and smile gone. “I am asking you now, out of respect for what you have done for this race, to let me speak with the child or I will be forced to inform the guards that Sans had attempted to assassinate me in school today. His teacher, as well as the gardener, can testify, having witnessed it themselves. I did not want to have to do this, but if you do not allow me to speak with Sans _alone_ , then I will have no choice but to take action.”

Grillby was fuming, black puffs of smoke escaping his flamed head that glowed a dark crimson red.

“Please, old friend-”

“Do not call me your friend,” Grillby warned.

“Grillby, please, I just need a few seconds alone with him.”

“Do whatever you want, Asgore. Call the guards, charge Sans for whatever crime you want, you can throw me in jail for all I care, but I will not allow you to come near my kids. You cannot speak to him. You cannot interrogate him. You cannot do anything to him because I will not allow you.

“You cannot stop me from-”

“I cannot,” Grillby admitted, voice low, crackling like a winter fire. “I cannot stop you. I cannot win in a fight against you. I know this. This isn't about what I can and cannot do. This is about me knowing what my child is capable of and I can assume you, Asgore. That you will never be able to go near that child unless he wants you to and as of right now, he does not want you near him. I am his voice at this current moment in time. I know what he wants and what he doesn't want. You can try your best and do everything in your power to get to him, but it will be useless. You've come to ask me, as a friend, to speak to my child privately on matters he doesn't want to speak of? Well, let me tell you, as a friend, that I strongly advise you to finish your drink and leave my home.” Asgore clenched his hands into fists, jaw clenched in what Grillby would assume to be anger but the king's pleading eyes suggested something else.

“Why are you protecting him so much? This is not the normal level of protection a parent has. You are not telling me the truth about these children. What happened to them? Why are you so determined to protect them? What are you protecting them from?”

“These children do not need my protection. I am guarding them. I am making sure that under my watch, they are happy and safe. I, Asgore, am protecting you and everybody else who dares to think they can get near them because I am not what you need to worry about. I am not the monster you have to take down to get to them. Sans is, and he is experienced and skilled enough to attack anyone who threatens what he cares about.” Asgore went silent, the two holding a long and steady gaze before he eventually spoke.

“Are you something Sans cares about?” Grillby tensed, fearing the glass will shatter in his vice grip.

“Excuse me?”

“I'm asking you, Grillby, if you were to be threatened would Sans attack?” In a flash, Asgore's teacup was encased in the faintest hint of cyan magic before it combusted shattering and flying glass across the room. The two monsters ducked, somehow managing not to get cut by the glass. Grillby's head snapped over to the bedroom door. The bartender spotted Sans peaking through the door, eyes hollow and empty. Asgore followed Grillby's gaze, an uneasy feeling resting in his stomach.

“Get out,” Sans demanded, not leaving the room.

“Child, please, I wish to-” Grillby glass was sent to the wall, inches away from Asgore's head.

“Now,” Sans demanded and Grillby stood up stepping in front of Asgore.

“Sans, do not hurt him.” Sans eyes narrowed, teeth clicking together.

“He threatened you.”

“I know. He is trying to lure you out of the room. Where is Papyrus?” Grillby questioned.

“Asleep.” Sans glanced back into the room, looking at his sleeping brother, the faint blue aura hovering around him, keeping him asleep.

“Go sit on the bed with him and wait for-” Grillby sentence was cut off as he let out a small yelp. Asgore stood behind him, his fire magic resonating in his hand. Before either monster could retaliate, Sans was between them left eye blazing, his mouth a firm line.

“Sans, I am sorry, but I-” Asgore had no time to finish his sentence. Sans called out the king's soul, launching him into the wall behind him. The king let out a grunt, not prepared for the powerful attack. The skeleton raised his hand, two blasters appearing and firing at Asgore. Sans snarled when he noticed the Kings health was barely damaged. Of course, he'd be strong, Sans had to attack without mercy. Sans blinked in front of Asgore, grabbing his soul and throwing him into the living room. He summoned a wall of bones beneath him, but Asgore jumped out of the way, rolling onto the target Sans had his blasters pointing at. A grin spread across his face, ready to launch his attack, but the skeleton was stopped. Grillby pulled Sans against him, holding on to his arm, preventing him from attacking.

“Stop!” Grillby shouted, and the skeleton's attacks vanished. Asgore relaxed, panting heavily. Sans pulled his hand free, pupils returning and glaring harshly at Grillby. “What is wrong with you?” Grillby exclaimed, facing the king. “You picked a fight with a child? A child who if not for me would have dusted you in seconds?! But I guess you've always been this way, haven't you Asgore? Always starting wars you know you cannot win. I figured you would have learned your lesson with the humans, but I guess I was wrong.” Asgore looked away, ashamed.

“Grillby you do not understand. I have to ask Sans how he knows about the children.”

“So you attack me to get him to come out? Are you an idiot? Do you not know what you could have fucking done to him? What could he have done to you? I don't care what you need to ask him about. I want you out of my house and away from my children!” Sans flinched away from Grillby, afraid of his anger. The bartender felt the flinch and cooled himself down.

“Why...Why do you want to know?” Sans asked, peering out from behind his guardian.

“Because no one should be aware of them, not yet. I need to make sure they can break the barrier first before telling everyone.”

“Liar,” Sans growled, pupils vanishing from his hollow socket. “You know they can break the barrier. You've known ever since the second one fell.” Asgore looked away. “You are just a murderous coward.”

“How do you know all this?” The King inquired.

“You have four souls now, don't you?” Sans took the Kings silence as a yes. “What are you doing with the bodies?”

“They are being placed in coffins.”

“That's it?” Sans pressed, not believing Asgore. He wanted him to squirm. Wanted to ask him where the missing body parts were. He wanted to ask where the determination vanished off to. Sans wanted to watch the king's eyes fill with confusion and fear as Sans stared, knowing all the answers he had forgotten.

“Yes, that's it.” Sans pushed away from Grillby, not completely leaving his side, but allowing more than his eye to be seen. Sans wanted to ask about the lab, the royal scientist, what they were doing. However, that would be suspicious. The last thing Sans wanted was for Asgore to know about Gaster and the labs. But being vague and evasive bored him.

“What are you doing with the souls?”

“Keeping them safe and hidden. No one is allowed to see them except me which is why I want to know how you know about them.”

“Are you currently looking into other methods of breaking the barrier that doesn't involve the souls?” Sans held onto Grillby's pant leg, terrified of his answer, but refusing to show.

“I have found no other method. No one, not even Doctor Tur, the royal scientist, can figure out another method.”

“Doctor...Tur?” Sans questioned, face blank. Grillby rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Sans is that-”

“No,” Sans stated. “Doctor Tur, the royal scientist?” Sans repeated, questioning Asgore.

“Y-Yes? Do you know him?” Sans let out a dry laugh.

“No, I have no idea who that is. What does he look like?” Asgore raised a brow.

“He is about average height, I suppose. He has lavender scales-”

“Scales?” Sans looked appalled. “Scales. Lavender scales.” A new royal scientist. Of course, there was a new royal scientist. Why did the news shock him so much?

“Child, I have answered your questions now, please, answer mine. How do you know about the souls?”

“Someone told me,” Sans answered vaguely.

“Who?” The King demanded. Sans shook his head, resting his forehead against Grillby's leg.

“No one.” The skeleton replied, letting out a few chuckles.

He was gone. There was a new royal scientist. Gaster and everything that he once was, had vanished. Asgore did not recall him, no one in town remembered him, Papyrus had forgotten about him, everyone but Sans the one monster who wanted nothing more than to forget. Sans wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream. He felt waves of emotion wash over him mixing all together, his magic racing in his bones, unable to stop his giddy feeling.

“I'm afraid I do not understand,” Asgore admitted with a puzzled expression.

“He's no one!” Sans replied with a loud laugh. “He's gone! He's nonexistent!” Asgore looked at Grillby for help, but the flame monster was too busy watching the skeleton with concern.

“Asgore,” Sans called, covering his giggles with his sleeve. “Why did no one believe the skeleton when he told a lie?” Jokes. Jokes made everyone laugh. Maybe if Sans made Asgore and Grillby laugh, he'd seem less insane? Why was he laughing? Why couldn't he stop laughing? Why was he twitching?

“W-Why?”

“Because they could see right through him,” Sans answered, letting out a loud cackle. “Hey, Asgore?” Sans stepped out from behind Grillby, walking closer to the king. “Why didn't the skeleton attend the party?”

“Why?” Asgore asked, taking a step back.

“Because he had no body to go with.” Sans let out a few chuckled, hand dropped him his face, eyes cast downward. Sans no longer felt as if he was in control of his body. He felt like he wanted to cry, but he only could smile. He wanted to hug Grillby but he only advanced forward, away from him. Sans wanted Asgore to leave, but not until he was done with him. “Hey, Asgore.” The skeleton called. “What did the skeleton say to the king?”

“Sans, why don't you go back upstairs?” Grillby offered, but Sans didn't move. Sans wasn't there.

“Help me, it hurts.” Sans finished, looking up to watch Asgore with empty sockets. “Hey Asgore, what did the doctor say when the king asked why he was injecting the skeleton determination?” Asgore swallowed, visibly sweating. “It's for the sake of monster kind.”

“Sans, please go-”

“Hey Asgore, what did the doctor say to the King after the skeleton wouldn't stop screaming?” Grillby stepped forward, ready to stop Sans but he was suddenly pushed back by an unknown force. “Don't worry, it's for the sake of monster kind.”

“Hey, Asgore.” Sans called one last time, grin growing at the terrified expression on the king's face “What did the king do when the skeleton cried out for help?” Sans didn't even bother to give Asgore time to respond, just continued to gaze at him, grin fixed on his face.

That expression. The sweat, the wide eyes, dilated pupils, clenched jaw. Sans knew that expression well. Fear. It felt so great inflicted that emotion onto someone else. Sans was trembling with excitement, the small huff of air escaping his mouth as he finished his 'joke'.

“Nothing.” The lights flickered off in the room. Seconds later they returned and Sans was gone, and the bedroom door slammed closed.

The air was still after the bedroom door was slammed shut. Asgore was frozen in place, horrified at Sans' words and recovering from the shock of the entire ordeal. Grillby seemed to be unaffected by the skeleton's behavior, or at least far more use to it than Asgore was. The bartender's concern growing and his worry about the sanity was high. He made his way over to the stairs, wanting to ensure his child was alright, but Asgore grabbed his arm and stopped him. Grillby halted, turning slightly to watch the king.

“Something is not right with that child,” Asgore stated, watching Grillby's flame heat up and darken. “He needs help.” The fire element could not argue with the king on that. Sans did need help, however, he would not accept it if he offered it.

“You really think I don't know that already?” Grillby questioned, feeling insulted. “You think that, after witnessing all of this, that I can just bring him to a doctor and get him treated?”Asgore frowned, his grip on Grillby's arm slipping. “I am helping him to the best of my ability. I am the only monster Sans trusts and will listen to, but as you saw just moments ago, he doesn't always listen. Sans will do what he wants when he wants, and all I can do as his parent is be there for him and guide him to the best of my ability.”

“I know you are watching over him Grillby, but you are not a doctor. That child has emotional trauma, he needs professional help. You can not-”

“You don't get it Asgore!” Grillby shouted, yanking his arm free. “He is traumatized. He does need help. He does need someone other than me, but he doesn't want that. I can't fucking force him to do anything or else he attacks!” Grillby motioned to the large hole in the wall. “You can only imagine from what he said here today, the struggles he has gone through. I've told you, he is prone to panic attacks and is easily triggered. Mentioning the word doctor around him causes him to have flashbacks and hallucinations. How, Asgore, and I suppose to fucking get him help when every time I offer it, he has a panic attack?

“Grillby what happened to that child? What caused all this? Why does he get panic attacks? Was everything he said true? Why does he-”

“I don't know!” Grillby cried, silencing the king. “I have no fucking idea, Asgore! I have no idea what happened to him. I have no idea what caused all this! I have no fucking idea why he does the things he does! He hasn't told me anything and the small little details he has told me I cannot tell you.”

“Do not be a fool, Grillby. Some horrific creature caused this and I am just supposed to stand by and allow what caused his trauma to continue living peacefully in my kingdom? Sans may be unwilling to speak of it, but if you know anything and choose to say nothing, you are just as-”

“Whatever caused this is dead,” Grillby stated and the king went silent. “I don't know how or why he is dead, but he is. I don't know his name, where he is, or who he is. All I know is that he is gone and nobody remembers him, but Sans.”

“How is that possible?”

“I don't know.”

“Why can't you tell me what he has told you?”

“Because he doesn't want me to, and for a valid reason. You do not remember and what he has to say about you and about everything that happened--...It's gruesome and horrific. I will not speak on his behalf about this matter and I can assure you that he has no intentions of mentioning it to you either.”

“I don't ever recall meeting Sans before, in my life. Yet, he looks at me with such hate. Have I done something to him?” Grillby was still, standing tall and firm.

“Yes.”

“I do not remember doing anything,” Asgore admitted, head low. “Do you know what it is that I have done to him?” Another pause.

“Yes.”

“I… And you, you do not plan on telling me what I have done?”

“I do not.”

“May I ask why?” Asgore inquired, irritated that Grillby was withholding the information.

“Multiple reasons,” Grillby answered. “You do not remember. You may not believe me. Sans does not want you to know. And I, do not want you to know, not for my sake, but for your own.”

“Was whatever I had done that terrible?” The silence between Grillby's next response was longer than the rest, minutes passing before he finally spoke.

“If I didn't have to worry about the repercussions of Sans' actions, I would not have stopped him from attacking you,” Grillby admitted and Asgore shivered at the memory of the fight.

That child looked so dead. Asgore felt his soul be touched by his cold and powerful grasp and it made him tremble. The familiar feeling of dread filled his stomach, similar to how he felt when he seconds away from being blasted by Sans attack.

“I do not hate you for what you did. You had your reasons, no matter how fucked up they were. I do not want you ever questioning or mentioning this to Sans or anyone. Dogamy and Dogaressa know a few things about Sans, but I intend on filling them in with as little as possible. I would like you to ensure they drop the case and leave Sans alone. Whatever did this is dead and no one can remember who it was and we cannot prove anything. To any form of law, Sans' word is useless, whether it is true or not. To continue investigating the case would be useless. I think it is best if you leave and never speak of what happened here to anyone. The children are under my care and protection. I will ensure they are happy, healthy, and safe.” Asgore sighed, glancing up at the bedroom door. He felt uneasy leaving here so confused and unsatisfied, but every path he took to get answers was blocked off. He was trapped, his only way of escaping was to admit defeat and walk away. Grillby was right if he was telling the truth. If the fiend behind all of this was dead, there was no real concern. Asgore had no idea what to make of the lack of memory of this man or any of the other odd things that were spoken of, however, he could do very little in terms of looking into the case himself. With no names or evidence, Sans' words were as believable as anyone. For all Asgore knew, Sans was lying the entire conversation. Instead of listening to hid doubt, however, Asgore listened to Grillby.

“Will you at least keep me informed on how they are doing?” Asgore asked, returning his gaze to the fire element. “I want to ensure that they are okay and, if at all possible, provide anything they need to make sure they are happy here.” Grillby nodded, agreeing to the King's request.

“I will let you know how they are doing.” Asgore nodded his head. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I do not. I will see myself out. It was nice to see you again, I only wish it was under better circumstances.” The two monsters said their goodbyes and Asgore left. The moment the door was closed, Grillby went upstairs. He tried to turn the knob to his bedroom, but it was locked. He gently knocked on the door, awaiting a response.

“Sans?” Grillby knocked on the door again. “Sans, can you unlock the door, please?” The lock clicked and Papyrus opened up the door looking up at Grillby.

“Sans is asleep.” The skeleton informed, pointing to the lump on the bed. Grillby entered the room, walking over to Sans. He wondered if Sans was faking it, having been wide away and active just minutes ago. The deep and even breathing, however, showed that the skeleton was fast asleep.

“Is the king gone?” The younger skeleton asked and Grillby turned away from Sans and nodded.

“Yes, he is. How long has Sans been asleep?” Grillby wondered and Papyrus shrugged.

“I woke up and he was asleep.”

“I'm surprised you managed to sleep through all the commotion,” Grillby stated and Papyrus frowned.

“Commotion?”

“Things got a little heated. Everything is alright now, though.” The small skeleton nodded and poked his head out of the room.

“How are we going to fix the wall?” He questioned and Grillby let out a loud sigh, falling backward onto his bed. God, he was exhausted and did not want to have to deal with fixing his house. “Maybe we can cover it up with a blanket. Sans did that one time when we spent the night in the Waterfalls.” Grillby let out a chuckle at the idea. Although it was a quick and easy fix, he still needed to actually fix the damn wall instead of covering it up.

“That could work, but I think it's best to call someone and have them fix it.”

“Will they use magic to fix it?” Grillby let out a yawn shrugging.

“I doubt it. You don't use magic to build your forts do you?” Papyrus shook his head crawling onto the bed, picking up a toy car.

“Sans did, though. In the Waterfalls, when he was feeling happy, he'd use his magic more often. He made a special fort for us out of the garbage! It was really nice, but some kids found it and he said we couldn't stay there anymore.” Papyrus told Grillby, spinning the wheel of the car toy in his hand idly.

“What do you mean when you said 'when he was feeling happy'? Was Sans not happy before?” Grillby could imagine both children were miserable living outside, but knowing how stone-faced Sans got around Papyrus, it was hard for the bartender to imagine the elder skeleton showing his brother his depressive nature.

“He-...He wasn't unhappy.” Papyrus answered, toes curling and uncurling in his socks. “He wasn't like he is here. His soul,” Papyrus pointed to where his own soul was, “it feels lighter.”

“Lighter?”

“Yes, lighter. Before, his soul was very heavy and dark. It didn't glow too brightly. It looked very sad. Have you ever been to the Waterfalls?” Grillby nodded and Papyrus sets down the toy car, resting his hands on his lap. “There's this part, where there are these glowing crystals, they are very pretty and purple. There's a path in the room and if you touch the blue crystals it helps you see the path.”

“I recall the path.”

“Yea? So, the crystals, the purple ones, when it's dark in the room they still glow, but it is very dim. You can barely see it, but you know it's there because you saw it when it was bright. Sans soul was like those crystals. I knew it was there, I've seen it shine and glimmer. But, a lot of the time, it was too dark to see it. It would be all shadowy and dull. It made me very sad.” Papyrus balled his hands up, squeezing out his sorrow before he relaxed, forgetting the troubling memories. “But here, Sans soul is dazzling.” Papyrus looked over at Sans, a soft smile on his face. “When you gave us this home, that's the brightest I've ever seen his soul. It was sparkling, shining brighter than any of the crystals in the Waterfalls.”

Grillby watched Sans, staring at the spot his soul would be. Monster were able to see the souls of other monsters, but only when that monster was using magic or their soul was being summoned. Grillby had never seen Sans' soul before, not even when he had witnessed the skeleton using his magic. The bar owner wondered why Papyrus was able to see his brother's soul when the fire element could not.

“Can you see his soul right now?” There was a pause before Papyrus nodded, his happy expression slipping into something more somber. “What does it look like?”

“… It's flickering.”

“Flickering?” Papyrus crawling on his hands and knees over to his brother, curling up next to Sans. As if sensing his brother's presence, the elder skeleton wrapped his arm around his sibling, holding him close.

“It does that a lot,” Papyrus admitted, wiggling a bit so he could look at Grillby. “It means he's scared, I think. I don't ask him, but when he gets scared and panicked his soul flickers.” Grillby flame lowered on his head. Scared. Why was he scared? Was he having a bad dream? Was it because of the events at school? Was it because he no longer felt safe in his home? Grillby clenched his fist at the last thought, forcing them out of his head.

“How about we take a quick rest,” Grillby suggested, feeling far too exhausted to continue with his thoughts. He'd worry about Sans later. Right now, he just wanted to lay down in his bed with his two children held close. Grillby didn't even both changing out of his ruined clothes. He just lifted the covers that were draped across Sans and slide under them. Papyrus had made himself comfortable in his brother's arm, allowing Grillby to wrap his own limbs around them both, encasing them in his eternal warmth.


	12. Maybe

Sans woke up and felt terrible. His skull throbbed and his vision was blurry. His body ached and felt as if he was covered in a thick layer of grime. He felt far too hot and uncomfortable, suffocating in the layers of unknown things surrounding his body. He lifted his arm, the small limb felt like lead as Sans rubbed at his eye socket, hoping to clear his vision. It did very little, but he was now able to make out what the added weight on his body was. Papyrus was curled up next to Grillby, who was holding onto both of them, the two of them fast asleep. The heavy duvet the covered the monsters was too much for Sans and he squirmed. The skeleton wiggled out of Grillby's arms so he could push the blanket away. Grillby did not stir as Sans abandoned the bed, resting against it as he stood on his weak legs.

Sans couldn't recall how long it had been since he felt this awful. Was it when he lived in the lab? It had to have been. Was it before Papyrus was created? Before the determination injections? Before the magic transplant?

Sans made his way out of the room. The skeleton wanted to shower. He ignored the large hole he created in the wall, stepping on or just kicking small bits of the house in his way as he entered the bathroom. Once inside, he shut the door and closed his eyes. The skeleton's body ached, screaming out against his every movement.

Peeling an eye open, the skeleton glanced at the mirror. He felt the magic within his body freeze, his body going numb at the reflection that stared back. He blinked and the vision was gone, but he did not move. He saw it, he knew he did. There were cracks, _those_ cracks right there, on his skull. He raised a trembling arm, tracing over where he had seen them, where he knew they would be, but felt nothing but his smooth skull. Sans felt bile rise up, he was barely able to make it to the toilet in time before he began vomiting.

Not real. Not real. They weren't there. Weren't there. Gone. He's gone.

He panted, gripping the toilet seat, staring at the content below. His hold tightened, eyes wide as he gazed upon the ectoplasm and energy his body rejected, most likely his morning breakfast. The skeleton trembled, sockets locked on the black inky goo swimming around in his vomit.

That black ooze. The color of the abyss Gaster wanted to throw him in. The constancy of the slime dripping out of the skeleton's sockets. The gunk that seeped into his bones, scorching his body and burning his soul.

Sans flinched as the phantom pain tugged at his life source. He was hyperventilating, body quivering as the skeleton's bones rattled together. Sans reached up to flush the ink away, missing a few times but managed to finally flush the goo and bile down the drain. He felt hot and sweaty. The skeleton's legs refused to listen to his body, forcing him to crawl into the bathtub. Breath heavily, he turned the closest knob gasping as the cold water shot out and covered him.

Cold. Coldness. He needed that. He felt so hot. His soul felt like it was on fire. The magic in his bones burning every inch of him as his memories pounded in his skull. Sans shook his head, trying to focus on the cold water, the sound of the icy liquid hitting the tub, the soothing feeling of the frozen water tracing over his aching body.

The skeleton jumped when a light knock echoed in the bathroom. He covered his mouth, afraid of whatever was knocking would hear his panting and whimpers.

“Brother?” No. Please, no, not him. “Sans, are you okay?” Sans heard the knob turn and he forced his voice out.

“Y-Yea!” Sans called out, voice too loud and cracking. “I-I'm fine, bro! Just-just showerin-ng!” Sans begged whatever listened for Papyrus to leave and not open the door. He could not cover up his emotions. He couldn't put on his mask and pretend to be okay. He couldn't let his brother see him like this.

“You sure? Would you like me to get Grillby?”

“NO!” Sans covered his mouth. He never shouted at Papyrus. Papyrus never deserved to be shouted at. “P-Please, bro. I'm fine. I-I will be out when I'm done.” Sans held his breath, waiting for the door to open. He waited for Papyrus to barge in, demanding to know what was wrong. The younger skeleton wasn't a fool. Sans knew his brother was aware that Sans was not okay. The only question was if he'd listen to Sans' plea or ignore it completely.

“...Okay.” Sans bit his fingers, suppressing the cry of relief he wanted to let out. “Don't take too long, okay?” Sans didn't respond, he only curled up into a small ball, nodding his head despite knowing his brother was unable to see him.

Alone. He needed to be alone. He needed to calm down. Why did he wake up like this? What had happened? School, he went to school. Someone was-Asgore. Asgore was there. Asgore was here, in his home. What happened? Sans memory was foggy, the incident mixing together with his flashbacks, eventually vanishing altogether.

Sans wasn't even aware he still in his clothes. He curled up in the tub, laying on his side as the freezing water rained down on him. Sans still felt hot. The skeleton's body was physically cold, trembling as his drenched clothes clung to him. Sans' skull felt like it was burning from the inside, his soul blazing. The skeleton wanted to remove his shirt, allow the water to cool his soul off but he didn't.

Sans hated his body. It was deformed. Cracked, dents, holes, every marking imaginable covering him. Sans knew the story behind every one of the scars. He knew the story behind his uneven ribs. He knew the story behind the scratch on his arm. He knew the story of why his right knee always ached and why three toes on his right foot never seemed to curl all the way in.

Sans' body was repugnant. He was a vile pile of useless bones. A failure.

**_“_ _A failure.”_ **

Sans squeezed his eyes shut, ignoring the voice in his head. Not real. He needed to calm down. He was home. He was safe. Grillby said he'd protecting Sans, he'd protect both brothers. Sans was safe. Gaster was gone.

Gaster.

Sans teeth clattered together as he recalled the black sludge in the toilet.

Gaster.

 

~*~

 

 _Sans scream as the black mass clung to his body. He gagged as the feeling of it sliding into his mouth, eyes, and between his bones. He sobbed, frantically trying to shake and_ _scrape_ _it off, but it seeped in._ _It trickled past his teeth and into his mouth. It blinded him as the slime dripped into his sockets. Sans felt it. Sans felt it enter his body and shrieked._

 _“_ _No. No. NO! NO! Get out! Get out!” Sans begged, fingers clawing at his sockets trying to remove the inky goo that fell in. Sans could feel him inside his bones. The pain...it made the determination injections feel like_ _mild_ _rug_ _burn compared to the scorching pain that encased Sans, feeling as if his body was set ablaze._

_Sans fell forward on his hands and knees and vomited. A rush of inky black sludge escaped his mouth. It fell to the floor, splattering on his hand, a line of drool and vomit hanging from his mouth. Sans vision blurred, the slime began dripping out of his sockets, nose, mouth, landing below in the puddle of bile._

_Sans couldn't handle it anymore. He couldn't take the agonizing burn, the feeling of the black liquid both dripped out of his body and seep farther inside of his skull. He couldn't. It hurt. He fell. Arms giving out on him, his body collapsing into the pile of bile, losing consciousness._

 

~*~

 

Sans remembered now. That's the last time he felt sick. The day he left. The day took Papyrus and ran out of the labs and away from everything that hurt him.

Sans was sick for a full week after he escaped. Papyrus was impossible to calm down, questioning why Sans kept vomiting black sludge. Sans had no answer then and he didn't have one now. He couldn't let Papyrus see him, he'd know. Sans didn't get sick. Sans wasn't allowed to be sick.

But, God, did Sans feel ill. He wasn't sure if it was the memory, his self-hate, or the black sludge that made him feel this way. All he knew was that he wanted to lay on the floor and not move. Too much was happening inside of his skull. He felt overwhelmed with emotions. Sans felt disorientated, nauseous if he moved, vision lagging and cloudy. The foggy feelings the memories left mixed with the depressive and lethargic mood all wrapped up in a bow panic from the vomit had Sans feeling like death.

Was he dying?

...He hoped so.

That would be nice. Death. His memories gone, pain gone, his disgusting body would vanish, everything would be gone. He'd be free.

Papyrus. No. Sans couldn't die. Papyrus needed him. Papyrus, for some reason, loved him and wanted him around. Despite how useless Sans was, despite how many times the elder brother had failed his sibling, despite all the pain and misery he caused, Papyrus loved him. Sans didn't understand how a creature as evil as Gaster could make something as pure and perfect as Papyrus. Sans? Sure, Sans was a weapon, a machine, an experiment created to harm and destroy.

Papyrus, though… Papyrus was everything Sans wasn't. Papyrus was brave, happy, honest, innocent, pure, perfect. Sans could go on for hours. He would have. The skeleton would have laid there in the bathtub, allowing the freezing water to cover him as he thought about how much he loved and cared about his brother. His only happiness.

Sans was brought away from his daydreams, though, by a knock at the door. Sans couldn't be bothered to move or answer. The skeleton just stared at the tub, watching the water trickle down to the drain.

Sans wished he could follow after it.

“Kiddo?” Grillby called through the door.

Sans did not respond.

“Sans? Is everything alright in there? You've been in there for a while.”

Has he? It felt like only minutes have passed by. He hadn't noticed how numb his body had gotten from sitting in his drenched clothes.

“Kiddo, I'm coming in.” Sans listened to the knob turn. Click, click, creek, click. “Sans?” Grillby stepped closer to the shower, wrapping his fingers around the curtain, pulling it back. Sans felt the moment Grillby's eyes landed on him. The skeleton did not move, did not speak.

Sans was too sick to care.

“Kid,” Grillby's voice was soft. Sans must have looked as pathetic as he felt. Trembling, lying in the tub, fully clothed and drenched. Sans was glad Papyrus wasn't here. “Are you okay?” Grillby knew it was a stupid question to ask, obviously Sans was far from okay. Sans' eyes were glued to the flowing water, face void of all emotion.

“No,” Sans admitted and Grillby grip tightened on the curtain. The bartender didn't feel as happy as he should have about Sans answer. The skeleton was opening up to him, but he looked like he had given up to do so. His sockets seemed like endless black pits, white pupils almost nonexistent. Grillby pushed the curtain aside and carefully leaning over to turn the faucet off. He ignored the hiss his body gave when the water dripped onto it. He had no time to cover up and protect his flame body from the water. Sans needed him now, and Grillby would be damned if he was going to let his stupid body get in the way of helping him.

“Come on, kiddo,” Grillby stated, grabbing a towel from the rack. Sans eyes were finally peeled away from the water trail the stop flowing once Grillby turned off the water. He turned his head a fraction of an inch, glance at Grillby with tired eyes. Grillby carefully arranged the towel in his hands, gripping the corners and laying it across Sans. The bartender picked the child up and swaddled him in the towel. The drenched clothes easily seeped through the towel, singeing Grillby's arms and chest. He bit back the noise he wanted to let out and made his way over to the door. He stopped when Sans reached up, grabbing his collar.

“Don't tell, Pap,” Sans whispered. Grillby just nodded, not trusting his voice, and exited the bathroom. Papyrus was on them in a second, tugging on Grillby's leg trying to look at his brother.

“Is he okay?” Grillby glanced down at Sans, noticing the skeleton had closed his eyes.

“He's fine. He just fell asleep. He must not be feeling very well. Can you get me some pajamas for him?” Papyrus nodded and rushed to their bedroom. Grillby made his way to his own bedroom, setting Sans down on the bed. He glanced at his arms, quickly pulling down his sleeves so not to worry the children. Papyrus hurried into the room handing Grillby the pajamas before climbing onto the bed. Grillby stopped him, though, coming up with a quick lie.

“Sans might be pretty sick. I don't think it's such a good idea to start cuddling right away.” Papyrus frowned.

“But, Sans always holds me when I'm sick. What if he needs me?”

“Sans wouldn't want you getting sick because of him. Let's let him rest before we overwhelm him, okay?” Papyrus didn't respond, just continued to stare at Sans. “I promise you can see him later, okay?” Papyrus nodded his head and forced a smile on his face.

“Can I make him soup?” Grillby let out a small laugh.

“Yeah, sure, kiddo. I'll be right down to-”

“I got it! Look after my brother! Let me know if anything happens.” Papyrus skipped out of the room. The second he left, Sans eyes were open, taking in the room. Grillby closed the door and turned around noticing Sans open eyes. Their eyes met before Sans turned away, choosing to watch the carpet below.

“Thanks.” The skeleton muttered. Grillby laid out the pajamas, moving over to Sans and slowly unwrapping him from the towel.

“Let's get you changed.” Grillby attempted to take off Sans' jacket, but the skeleton slapped his hand away, jerking away from him.

“No, don't.” Sans gripped onto his jacket refusing to remove it. Sans lived in his jacket, it covered him. He was able to hide his revolting body behind it. Sans didn't want Grillby to see his disfigured form. Sans didn't want anyone to see it.

“Kiddo, you need to get out of those clothes. You are soaked.” Sans shook his head, his numb feeling being replaced by flashes of panic and dread. “Do you want me to leave?”

Yes. No? What did it matter? Why was Sans getting so upset over? His body? Grillby didn't care. Gaster didn't care. No one cared about him. Why would they? His body was nothing. He was nothing. Sans was acting spoiled. What he wanted didn't matter. He didn't have a voice. He wasn't allowed to have an opinion. Sans was a machine, he took orders, not gave them.

Sans felt the jacket slide off of him, exposing his ruined arms. The damaged arms gripped onto the helm of his shirt, peeling away the shirt from his misshapen ribs. The shirt was pulled off of him, dropped onto the floor, his shorts following after. He sat on the bed, naked and exposed. His disgusting body was on display, awaiting his orders. Sans raised his head slightly, looking at Grillby. The skeleton's eyes widened when he noticed Grillby was turned away, giving Sans the privacy he appeared to want.

“You changed?” The bar owner asked after a few moments of silence. With no response, Grillby turned around and cursed when he spotted Sans exposed. “Sans, come one. This is weird. Get dressed, please.”

Sans' arms didn't move, they felt like lead. The skeleton wondered if Grillby was repulsed by him. Is that why he didn't look? Was the sight of him that bad? He imagined so.

“Kid, come on.” Grillby sighed when Sans had still refused to get dressed. The fire element grabbed the dry shirt and gently tapped one of Sans' arms. “Arms up, kiddo.” Sans blinked, arms raising. Grillby slid the arms through the shirt, tugging it down and over Sans' head. The hem caught on one of Sans' jagged ribs and Grillby just carefully removed the tangle and pulled the shirt down. The fire monster helped the skeleton into his pants as well, gathering the wet clothes in the towel, tossing them into a corner.

Grillby. Grillby was so nice.

Sans wanted to be able to do something for Grillby. He was always so patient with Sans even though he didn't deserve it. He cared about the skeleton, made sure he was okay and happy. He was able to give the child the world he never had and never knew existed even though Sans didn't earn it. He wanted to give him a smile, a hug. Sans wanted to do something to show Grillby he was thankful, but he couldn't will himself to move. His mind was plagued with negative thoughts, unable to think of a way to show his gratitude. The skeleton felt too sick, too ill. He could only think about-

“Gaster.” Grillby froze, hand hovering over his hung up jackets, his search for something for Sans to wear halted.

“What?” Grillby asked, turning slowly around to look at Sans. Sans stared back, pupils faded, but staring.

“Doctor W.D. Gaster,” Sans repeated. “Doctor Wing Ding Gaster.” Grillby felt his flame lowers, flickering. The doctor? Was Sans giving him the name of the doctor? The name he refused to even say just hours ago? Why? It was too soon. Grillby did not want to prevent Sans from opening up, but this felt forced. This felt like Sans was trying to please Grillby. From the hollow and empty look, the skeleton gave, Grillby could only assume that Sans was trying to do this to please the fire monster.

“Sans, please. You do not have to say anything.”

“Gaster. Royal scientist. Doctor Wing Ding Gaster. Badge number 785-A1-90.” Sans remembered every detail about the doctor, about the labs. Everything was burnt into his skull. “Creator of the Font Series. First experiment, category S, Sans. Subject name WD01-” Grillby covered Sans' mouth.

“Please, stop,” Grillby begged, overwhelmed by the information. He slowly slid the hand away, letting it fall into Sans' lap. Sans was right, Grillby was disgusted with him. His flame flickered, shades of blue and maroon passing through. He was upset. Sans made him upset. Looking at Sans made him upset.

“I disgust you, don't I?” Sans asked and Grillby head shot up.

“What? No! No, Sans, no, it's nothing like that. I just-”

“It's okay. I do too.” Sans looked down at his exposed arms. “I hate myself.”

“Kid...”

“He made all these markings. They never went away. They will never go away. They will always be there, staining me, marking me as vile. You hate me. Everyone hated me. I disgust them. Everyone knows, every time they look at me they know, I'm not a monster. I'm a machine. I'm a weapon. I am a failed experiment.” Sans pupils vanished. “I'm an abomination.”

“Sans, cut this shit out. Look at me.” Grillby rested his hands on both sides of the skeleton's face. “Listen to me,” Grillby instructed, watching the little white dots slowly return. “You are not an abomination,” Grillby stated, voice firm. “You are not disgusting. You are not vile. These markings mean nothing. They do not label you. They do not undermine you. They are just scars, that's it. They do not make you any less of a monster. They do not make you any less of a living being like anyone else. Theses scars do not define you. No matter what he said to you and no matter what you say to yourself, you are not a disgusting creature. You are Sans. You are a monster, my skeleton monster. I would love you no matter how many scrapes and cuts you have. I would love you no matter what you looked like. You are so special, Sans. You are so smart, so talented, so brave, and so strong for having to deal with everything that you've been through. You are not a creature to fear, but a monster to love and adore. You are an inspiration, a beacon of hope to anyone who is struggling. You made it. You are free from the doctor. You are here, in your home, with me and Papyrus, and we both love you so damn much. It hurts us when you say such things about yourself because you are so important to us. You mean the world to your brother and I could not even imagine what my life would be like without you in it.” Grillby pulled Sans' into a hug, pressing him tightly against his chest.

“You so extraordinary. You are magnificent. You are so lovable and such a great kid. Do not ever say such cruel things about yourself because it's a fucking lie, kiddo. You are a gift, a treasure to anyone who has the pleasure of getting to know you.” Sans remained still, tears threatening to spill.

Special. Smart. Talented. Brave. Strong. Extraordinary. Magnificent. Lovable. Great. Sans wasn't any of these things. Papyrus was the special one. Papyrus was the strong one. Papyrus was the talented one. Sans was a beast. A demon. A freak. Sans wasn't...Sans wasn't special.

Sans breathing hitched, tears spilling. A loud sob shook the skeleton's body, his grip tightening on Grillby's shirt.

Love. Grillby loved Sans. It felt so different to Papyrus' love. Papyrus made Sans feel happy and fuzzy. Grillby made Sans feel safe and calm. Sans had never had anyone else love him like this before. Sans could say anything, he could do anything and Grillby wouldn't care. He'd love him. He'd always love him. Sans didn't deserve any of it. He didn't deserve love, he was a demon. Yet there he was, desperately clinging onto Grillby like a leech. Desperate to suck up as much affection and love as he could get before it was taken away.

Sans cried for a long time. Every time he thought about Grillby's words more tears would come. Every time he felt Grillby's arm stroke his back Sans let out another sob. He cried until nothing else came out, and he was only wailing and whimpering, allowing Grillby to wipe away his snot and tears with the hem of his shirt.

“You all better?” Grillby ask Sans once the child was only letting out the occasional hiccup and sniffle.

“I'm not—I don't feel good,” Sans admitted.

“Like, right now or have you been feeling bad for a while?”

“A while,” Sans stated, wiping at his face with his sleeves. “S-Since I woke up.”

“Are you sick?” Sans nodded and Grillby placed the back of his hand against Sans' forehead getting a heat similar to his own body temperature. “Okay, yeah.” Grillby picked Sans up, moving him to the top of the bed, tucking him in. “I think you have a fever.”

A fever. Was that why he was so hot? It wasn't because of the slime? No, Sans didn't get sick like normal monsters. It had to have been the goo. He felt this terrible the day it crawled into his bones.

“Fever,” Sans repeated weakly, eyes becoming rather heavy suddenly. “No, not a fever.” Sans eyes closed. When had he become so sleepy? Was it because he cried for so long?

“This definitely feels like a fever. Why do you think it's not?” Sans took in a deep breath, forcing his eyes open.

“Because.” Grillby was unable to hold back the soft huff of air that escaped him. Vague, Sans was being vague. Sans was being himself, evasive and secretive. Grillby never thought he'd be relieved to see his kid hiding his emotions from him.

“Do you know what is making you feel this way?”

“Yes."

“Okay, how can I help you? What are you feeling?” Sans let out a whine. He really didn't want to go into detail about how he felt. Sans just wanted to throw up and sleep. Describing how he felt, reporting to the Doctor, it was exhausting. He hated forcing his voice out, brain struggling to figure out what words were and how they fit together. Technical terms, always technical terms. Sans couldn't get away with saying his arm hurt. He had to say what bone hurt, how badly it hurt, could he use magic, show how he could still use his magic. Sans grunted, glancing up at Grillby. The skeleton wondered if he could get away with it. If he could just tell Grillby his head hurt and not suffer checks of his magic and senses.

“...My head hurts.” Sans voiced, watching the bartender for a reaction. Sans saw none.

“Is that all? You feel nauseous? Achy?” Sans blinked, face blank. He could get away with it. Grillby didn't want to know the details. Grillby just wants to know what hurt and how he could fix it.

“Nauseous,” Sans repeated, “and sore. I threw up.”

“In the tub?”

“In the toilet.”

“Maybe I shouldn't have let Papyrus cook for you alone.” Grillby thought out loud, but he had no time to take back his choice. Papyrus kicked open the door, gripping the sides of a tray filled with numerous items.

“I'm going to make him feel better!” Papyrus shouted and Sans winced, his brother's loud voice like a hammer against his skull. Papyrus gasped at the movement, rushing inside the room. “Brother, are you alright?!”

“Kiddo, Sans is feeling a little under the weather. You might want to use your-” inside voice? Papyrus was using his inside voice. “You might want to talk a little softer.” Papyrus closed his mouth, nodding his head.

“Sans,” Papyrus repeated, voice a soft whisper. “I made you soup.” The younger skeleton informed, setting down the tray on the bedside table. “I put the heart shaped sprinkled inside because it is made with love!” Grillby turned away, covering his mouth to not let out the adorable sound he wanted to let escape. Papyrus was too cute.

“Thanks, bro,” Sans said, voice hoarse from crying. He pushed himself up, moving too quickly, causing his head to throb and vision to go blurry for a few seconds.

“Easy there, kiddo,” Grillby stated, helping Sans sit up. Grillby caught a glance at the soup Papyrus made and wanted to gag. The soup did have the pink heart sprinkled in it, floating on the abnormally green liquid...slime? Grillby noticed large chunk swimming around but was unable to tell what exactly they were. The bartender loves Papyrus to death, but he could not allow Sans to eat that in his current condition.

“Uh, you know what? I don't think Sans should eat that right now.” Grillby announced and the skeletons looked up at him. Papyrus looked confused, but Sans looked a little more threatening, warning Grillby to keep his mouth shut about the soup. “Sans said he was feeling pretty nauseous. I don't think we should let him eat a soup so-...special. He might not be able to keep it down.”

“I can make him more!” Papyrus grinned and Sans stole a glance at the soup, his smile becoming a little forced.

“I-I'm sure you can, kid. But, a soup as special as this takes a lot of work. You said you put a lot of love into this and Sans might not be able to let all that goodness seep in, ya' know? Why don't we save this for when he is feeling better? When he can keep it down and appreciate how much hard work you put in.”

“Y-Yea, Pap.” Sans agreed, taking his eyes off the liquid. “I-I can't let all that hard work go to waste. I will eat it tomorrow when I am feeling better. It'll cure me right up.” Sans loved his brother to death, and on any other day he'd be able to keep whatever 'food' the younger skeleton made down, but he really didn't trust his stomach today.

“Fine.” Papyrus pouted and the two monsters let out a silent sigh of relief. Papyrus patted the bed, getting Grillby's attention. “I brought medicine!” The younger skeleton pointed to the tray. Although Grillby didn't have the largest collection of medicine, whatever he did have was on the tray. The bartender wondered if Papyrus even read the labels or just grabbed everything.

“Thank you, Papyrus,” Grillby stated, walking over to him. The bartender shifted through different pill bottles and tablets, wondering if he should treat Sans' sudden illness like a fever or something else.

Damn, he really wished he had a doctor. Grillby stole a glance at the brothers, Papyrus patting Sans head, telling his older brother about his adventures in the kitchen to help lighten his mood. Could Grillby call a doctor? Should he? The fire monster peeked behind his sleeve, wincing at the marks the water had made. He certainly needed one at least.

Grillby pondered over the idea as he handed Sans some medication for his head and queasiness. Papyrus took his soup, running out of the room to go put it away for later. The fire element helped Sans lay back down and sat on the corner of the bed. Grillby knew the answer to his question before he even asked. He knew Sans would not want to see someone, but would it hurt to ask?

“Sans?” Grillby called, turned to look at the skeleton. Sans eyes were closed, face half buried in the duvet.

“What?” The skeleton replied, eyes still closed.

“Would you-...Would you mind seeing someone?” An eye socket opened. “Someone who could help you?” Both eyes were now open. “They could-”

“A doctor.” Sans voiced tone flat.

“A healer.” Grillby corrected, not wanting to use the word. “A person who could help you get better. I'm not an expert on this type of stuff. All I can do for you is give you some headache meds and tell you to sleep. A healer can help you get better far quicker than I can.” Sans didn't say anything and Grillby wondered if he should drop it. The skeleton wasn't rejecting the idea, which was good. Perhaps he could take his chances and press on. “They could help,” Grillby pointed to his own arm, “with your bones.” Sans grip tightened around the blanket. “They've helped me a lot when I got water damaged.” Grillby pulled up his sleeve slightly, showing the dark indigo colored holes and water marks that littered his flamed arm. Sans eye sockets widened his blank gaze morphing into one of worry and concern. Grillby pulled the sleeve back down, resting his arms on his lap.

A doctor-No, a healer. No, it was a doctor. Call it whatever name you wanted, Sans knew it was a doctor. But a doctor that healed? Grillby told him before the doctors healed people outside the lab. The doctors outside the lab cared about their patients and were nice. It sounded like a lie. Sans was certain it was. Doctors, scientists, they were both evil and incapable of being nice.

But, could this doctor, the doctors outside the lab, heal him? Could they take away the dents and holes? Could they remove the markings that Sans loathed so much? Was the skeleton brave enough to take that chance?

Was he stupid enough to believe it?

“I don't know exactly what they will do or ask,” Grillby admitted, not wanting to lie to the kid. “They usually want to know what happened so they can make sure they can heal you correctly. But, you can ask any question you want. They listen to you and answer any question you have and make sure you are comfortable.”

Ask questions? You weren't allowed to ask doctors questions. Sans was never allowed to ask Gaster anything. Gaster asked the questions, Sans answered as silently as possible.

“Will you think it over?” The bartender asked. Sans was quiet, gaze fixed on the fire monster, but it didn't seem to be looking at him, more through him.

“What... What will happen?” Sans voiced.

“You mean if you go?” Sans nodded and Grillby rubbed the back of his neck, trying to recall his last visit. “Usually, you'd have to make an appointment, but for--well, for my case at least, they'll take me in, fix me up and send me on my way. For you two, I think it would be best to have a check in first.”

“Check in?”

“Guess more of a check up, I don't know the technical term. Basically, you'd meet the doc-healer and they'd meet you. They'll ask a few questions about why you are here and what not, and then if you are comfortable, they will look you over. Check to make sure you can breathe fine, see correctly, have a healthy magic flow, look at your soul-”

“No.” Sans moved a hand to where his soul was located. His soul was broken and dim. He hated how pathetic it looked. He hated the fact that Papyrus could see it even more. Compared to his brother's bright and happy soul, Sans looked worthless.

“Okay, well, we will tell the healer that you don't want your soul looked at,” Grillby stated, trying to get Sans to relax once more. “You just have to let them or me know what you do and don't want done and it'll happen.” Sans fist clenched in his shirt but he nodded. “Then, he will tell me, or us if you want, what he can do to help.”

“That's all?”

“That's all.”

“No needles? No shocks? No testing?”

“Just talking.” Sans closed his eyes and pulled the duvet over his head. No. He really didn't want to go. He didn't want to see anyone. He didn't want to do anything.

“...Maybe.” Sans stated from his protective blanket. Grillby's bit back his smile. Maybe.

“We'll see tomorrow, okay? You can go in with me and see what happens, okay?” Sans glanced down at his exposed bones Could the doctors really help? Could they take away that scrap, those holes, that bent? Could he be stupid enough to believe that there was a good doctor out there? Maybe. Maybe he could be.

“Maybe,” Sans repeated, sockets closing. Maybe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel having to remind myself of the anatomy of monsters. I had Sans vomit up his breakfast, but then was like "Huh, well shit. He doesn't have a stomach. How can he vomit up food?" The answer...*shurg* This chapter is a bit...heavy. I'm hope it's not too much or doesn't flow. Hopefully it'll make sense later...
> 
> So updates will now become an every other day type of thing. The story has gone in a completely different direction from what I originally planned, making chapters I had written in advanced kinda useless or in need of editing. 
> 
> But, you guys for for reals, this [fantastic human](http://wemustneverever.tumblr.com/) made  
> [ this amazing piece of art ](http://wemustneverever.tumblr.com/post/138591823504/listen-listen-theres-this-fanfic-called-my/) I hope you don't mind me sharing, it's the first fanart I've ever received and it's so is incredible, thank you so very much. 
> 
> Thank all of you so very much, for the comments, kudos, and everything else. It's really fucking neato.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got any questions or comments you'd like to ask :)!


	13. Ellen

“What's a hospital?” Papyrus asked as he swung his hand that was tangled in Grillby's back and forth.

“It's a building people go to when they are feeling sick,” Bonnie answered. “They go there to get healed and feel better.”

“Will they help Grillby?” Papyrus wondered.

“They sure will, Pap! They will even help you, brother!” Papyrus perked up at that, squeezing Grillby's hand, the fire element biting back a pained noise.

Bonnie, being the nosey bunny she was, caught sight of the water marks on Grillby's body and panicked. Grillby didn't even know how she saw them, considering it was late and night and Grillby was checking the mail he forgot to get. The bunny ran to the bartender, yanking his sleeve up, rather roughly, demanding an explanation. One story later, Bonnie was in his home, wrapping up his arms and forcing him to bed. She told Grillby she'd be over at seven in the morning to take all three of them to the hospital.

And to the hospital they went.

“You okay, Sans?” Grillby asked, glancing over at the frightened skeleton. Sans more or less agreed to go with Grillby to the hospital. He never stated he'd actually like to go, but he did not prevent Bonnie from dressing him up and taking him outside. It was quite obvious how scared he was. His legs shook so badly he was unable to stand on them. His eyes darted around anxiously, jumping at every sudden movement and noise. It must have eventually gotten to be too much because now he was burying his face in Bonnie's neck, arms wrapping around her, holding the monster close.

Sans nodded, not trusting his voice. The skeleton woke up today feeling a little bit better. His head was no longer foggy, but his body still ached and his nausea was still prevalent. He didn't know why he didn't deny the hospital trip. Every step closer brought more anxiety and fear, he felt like he was going to pass out.

“Maybe I should take him.” Grillby offered, but Bonnie glared her hold tightening. Grillby was thankful he was able to rest his sore arms but he was very concerned about the well-being of his child.

“You aren't doing anything until your arms are healed,” Bonnie ordered, rubbing the older skeleton's back. “Besides, I don't think he can come off.” Bonnie joked, Sans' hold on her was rather tight.

“Sans you really don't have to go. Bonnie can watch over you at home. I'll be back in a few hours.” Sans just shook his head, ruffling Bonnie's cream fur.

“I-I'm f-fin-ne.” He mumbled, taking in deep breaths to calm himself down.

“He's fine, now move it,” Bonnie instructed and Grillby sighed but kept walking. “Just breath along with me, Sansy. Alright?” Bonnie muttered to the skeleton, nuzzling her cheeks against his skull. Sans tried his best and managed to calm himself down enough so that his teeth weren't chattering.

“Are we here?” Papyrus asked, releasing Grillby's hand to rush forward. Sans held his breath, pulling away from Bonnie only enough so he could peer out at the hospital with one eye. It looked different from the labs. Although Sans could barely recall what the lab looked like from the outside, he was certain it did not look like this. This was a three-story building, covered in windows.

Their room never had windows. No room had windows in the labs.

“This is it!” Bonnie announced, stepping inside. The bunny strode up to the receptionist, flashing her smile. Sans hide back inside her neck. “Hello, Tag!” Bonnie greeted, smiling down at the green lizard monster.

“Bonnie, dear!” Tag cried, Sans flinching at how high pitch her voice was. “It has been too long, honey, too long! What can I do for you today, love?”

“Grilly over there got himself a little wet. I called Yammy yesterday and told her to let Maggie know.” Tag looked over a few papers on her desk and nodded.

“Yes darling, he is all checked in. It says here that there is also an appointment for Papyrus and Sans?” Tag looked at the skeleton in Bonnie's arms. “Oh, how precious.” She covered her mouth, eyes sparkling. “The poor dearie, is he not well? Oh, I am wasting time. The poor thing must be feeling terrible. Grillby you can go ahead into the wing, you remember where it is correct?”

“Yes, thank you, Tag,” Grillby said.

“My pleasure, dear, my pleasure!” The four made their way down the doctors office. A nurse exited the room and spotted them approaching.

“He'll be out for just a second, you can wait in the waiting room 'till he's done.” Grillby nodded and the four sat down in the waiting area. Papyrus' sockets locked onto the small child section and was over there in seconds. Sans poked his head out from Bonnie's neck and surveyed the area.

It was busy and noisy. Monsters kept walking too and fro, occasionally waving at Bonnie who apparently knew everyone in the Underground. Some doctors dressed differently from what Sans recalled Gaster wearing, other wore the same white coat and it made him tense.

“Sans, you sure you're okay?” Sans nodded, allowing his grip on Bonnie to loosen. This wasn't so bad. He was still terrified, but it wasn't the lab. A short and fat fish like monster stepped into the waiting room and Sans hands tighten once more in the fabric and fur, looking over the white lab coat.

“Forget to put your gloves on again when washing dishes?” The monster teased and Grillby rolled his eyes. “Ha, I'm just pulling your leg. Come on back, Grillby.” The four monsters stood up and the doctor paused, looking surprised. “Jeez, full house. Might be a little cramped.” The fish monster informed, leading them to his room. Grillby took a seat on the flat hospital table while Bonnie sat on the free chair, Papyrus on one knee while Sans rested on the other. Sans let go of Bonnie, instead choosing to hold onto Papyrus, hoping his magic would calm him down.

“How have you been, Dr. Kimber?” Bonnie asked, filling the silent air.

“Can't complain, pretty slow this month, but that's a good thing I guess,” Kimber said with a shrug. “Alright, let's see the damage.” Kimber sat down on his stool, waiting for Grillby to unbutton and carefully remove his shirt. Papyrus and Sans watch intently as the doctor stood up, examining his arms and chest.

“Can you help him?” Papyrus asked, Sans grip tightening on him. Kimber turned around and smiled at Papyrus.

“Of course, I can!” The doctor proclaimed and Papyrus grinned, squeezing the arm Sans had wrapped around him. “Old Grillby here will be as good as new in no time!” Kimber tugged on his gloved hands, ensuring the gloves were tightly strapped on before he turned to the small station he had set up. He carefully opened up a large jar, setting the lid aside. The doctor grabbed a white rag and dunked it in the clear clean goo within the jaw.

“What is that?” Sans demanded, eyeing the unfamiliar substance.

“This is Pyriton. It helps fire monster like Grillby get their spark back.” The Doctor rolled over to Sans who flicked back, taking Papyrus with him. The doctor stayed a fare amount away, holding out the substance. “See the red and orange colors in there?” Sans eyed Kimber carefully before he leaned forward and looked over the substance. It glittered slightly in the light, flashing colors of red and orange, even occasionally a yellow or blue. “This is infused with fire magic. Think of it like gasoline. You cover the surface with this stuff...” Kimber rolled back over to Grillby and took hold of his arm, carefully rubbing the medicine around the water marks and holes. “And with a little help from some embers and lava,” Kimber slid on a heavy duty protection glove and lifted the lid to a black metal box. He used tongs to lift up a vial that he grabbed with his gloved hand. The vial of liquid fire was carefully poured onto Grillby's arm, a drop landing on the arm before the once damaged limb was set ablaze. Everyone winced and leaned away from the sudden heat. “And viola, good as new!”

Papyrus clapped and Sans watched in fascination as the doctor repeated the process with the other arm and water damage marks on Grillby's body. Once Grillby was all fixed up, he slid back on his shirt, rubbing his arms to ensure all the pain was gone.

“All good, Grillby?”

“Yeah, thanks, Kimber.” Kimber just waved him off, cleaning up his station.

“Now if I do recall right, you scheduled another appointment?” Grillby glanced over at Sans who tensed at the mention of it.

“Yeah, for these two actually.” Kimber glanced over his shoulder looking over the two skeletons briefly.

“I figured as much, that big one's got a broken knee that's been bugging me.” Sans tugged down his shorts, blushing. “Maggie!” Kimber called and a yellow feathered monster stuck their head in.

“Yes?”

“Take Grillby and his crew down to the kid's room. The little ones need a check up. Doctor Ellen with help you two today. She's more suitable for this job than I am.” Kimber said with a smile and Maggie nodded.

“Right this way, you guys!” She spoke and Grillby scooped up Sans while Bonnie took Papyrus.

“You sure you're okay with this?” Grillby asked, feeling Sans small hand grip onto his jacket like a lifeline.

“...No,” Sans admitted, his confidence gone. Kimber, he seemed okay but now he had a new doctor. The room looked so different from his old one, though. The table was padded and void of all straps, the walls had posters on them, the cabinets were filled with medical supplies Sans didn't even know existed. It scared him beyond belief, but it fascinated him. Would this next room be the same? Would Maggie be nice? Would this Ellen creature be the same? Sans did feel safer around women. All the doctors in the lab before had been male. Sans noticed that the lady monsters were nicer. They smelt good and were often time very warm. Bonnie smelt like vanilla and powder and was radiating heat like Grillby. Sans like how softer and feminine girl's bodies were compared to boys. It made him feel less threatened.

“We don't have to do this,” Grillby stated, but Sans shook his head. No, he could do this. Could he do this?

God, he really didn't want to do this.

“Right in here!” Maggie held open a door and Bonnie lead Papyrus inside. Grillby stepped in carefully, allowing Sans to observe the room.

Colorful. This room was so colorful. The walls were a solid blue with a trim around the top and bottom that had white flowers decorating them. A large padded table was covered in a white paper sheet and there were two chairs in the corner of the room. The walls were littered with posters about bodies and eating healthy. It was so...childish. No white sterol walls. No cold metal table with straps waiting to hold Sans down. No counter lined with injections. No determination. No Gaster.

No Gaster.

“You can set the kiddos down on the table,” Maggie stated walking over to her station to wash her hands. Bonnie helped Papyrus sit on the table while Grillby waiting for Sans to release his death grip. Once both children were sat down, Sans held onto his brother, eyeing Maggie. Grillby stood next to them while Bonnie took a seat in the free chair.

“Alright, so this is their first time here?” Grillby nodded and Maggie handed Grillby two clipboards and a pen. “I'm going to need you to fill out this paperwork while I look them over. Just the basic information, name, age, allergies, the usual.” Grillby nodded, grabbing the clipboard. “Okay, you guys! Who wants to go first?” Papyrus raised his hand but Sans reached up and dragged it back down. Papyrus opened his mouth to voice his answer but Sans used his other hand to cover it.

“They are a little shy,” Bonnie stated with a laugh.

“They haven't had the best experiences when it came to...medical attention.” Grillby worded and the feathered monster hummed.

“Well, you don't have to worry about a thing. My name is nurse Maggie! You can call me Maggie.” She smiled at the children, extending her hand. Papyrus freed himself and grabbed it.

“My name is Papyrus! This is my brother Sans!”

“It's very nice to meet you two. I'm going to need to check your height and weight, is that alright?” Sans clicked his teeth together but nodded. Height and weight. He could do that. “Great, can I get you to stand on that white scale over there?” She pointed to the machine in the corner and the elder skeleton carefully stepped off of the table, leading Papyrus over to the scale. Sans lifted one foot, tapping the scale with his toe to test the machine out. With threat detected, he lowered his foot, watching the weights above fluctuate. Lifting his other foot, he finally stepped completely on the scale, pupils nervously glancing between Maggie and the scale.

Just a scale. It's just a scale.

“Great job, Sans!” The nurse praised and Sans felt his cheeks heat up. Praise. He was still so unfamiliar with it. “Can you do me a big favor? I need you to stand up super straight for me, okay?” Sans nodded and straightened up, his bones cracking and aching slightly from the position.

Shoulder back. Eyes forward. Back straight. Feet together. Hands by his side.

“Perfect!” Maggie cheered and Sans let out a shaky breath. The nurse fiddled around with the scale, jotting down the weight before she lifted up a part of the machine and lowered it until it rested on top of Sans head. Writing down one last thing, she removed the ruler and smiled. “Great job, Sans! You're all done!” Sans stepped off the machine, body returning to its relaxed position. Papyrus leaped onto the scale, standing similarly to how Sans was, a wide grin plastered on his face.

“Sans, come here a second, please,” Grillby called and Sans made a small noise but slowly stepped away from Papyrus, walking backward over to Grillby. “I need your help with some of this,” Grillby admitted pointing to the work the nurse needed him to fill out. Sans turned away from his brother and took the paperwork. “Can you fill in what I missed?” Sans nodded and went back over to Papyrus. The skeleton hovering over him as Maggie measured Papyrus' weight and height. She finished up and the children returned to the table.

Sans looked down at the paperwork as Maggie wrote something down on her own work. Grillby managed to fill out most of the work minus the date of birth section and a few things about their past medical history. Sans left that part blank but tried to recall his date of birth.

“ **April...”** Sans muttered trying to recall the word in English. “Pap,” Sans nudged his brother. “ **April.** ”

“April.” Papyrus corrected and Sans nodded, writing down his date of birth.

“ **March?** ”

“March.” The skeleton filled in the work and held it out for Grillby who took it and handed it to Maggie after looking it over.

“Why didn't you tell me your birthday past?” Grillby asked, frowning down at the new information.

“Does it matter?” Papyrus asked and Grillby sighed.

“We can talk about it later.” He said not wanting to get into the conversation.

“They both seem to be a little underweight,” Maggie informed Grillby. “But that's alright, right?” She beamed down at the children, not wanting to scare them. “Nothing a few meals can't solve.” Grillby flame flickered nervously. “Alright, I'm going to check your eyes, nose, and mouth next okay?”

“Okay!” Papyrus agreed, watching as the nurse reached up to grab one of the tools.

“This is an ophthalmoscope. It allows me to check out your eyes and see if they are okay.” She showed it off and the skeletons looked it over. “Ready, Sans?” Sans didn't respond but allowed the doctor to begin examining his right eyes. She inspected the socket before moving onto the left one. Maggie carefully rested a hand on the side of Sans skull, tracing her thumb around the socket. Sans leaned back until the nurse got the hint and let go, turning off the light to the tool. She moved onto Papyrus who allowed her to touch and examine his face a lot more than Sans had. This process continued for a few minutes. She grabbed a tool, explained what it was, allowed the children to look it over, and then checked them out. Sans allowed the bare minimum, always leaning away or occasionally grunting if Maggie got to nosey while Papyrus sat back and allowed everything to happen.

“What are you looking for with the tools?” Papyrus asked once she finished up.

“We need to see if there are any irregularities. Both of you are clear, though!” She grinned, eyes darting over to Grillby. A soft knock came on the door and it opened up, a tall female skeleton poked her head in.

“Sans and Papyrus?” Sans mouth fell open and Papyrus gawked.

“A SKELETON!!!” The younger child cried.

“A skeleton!” Ellen replied with just as much enthusiasm. “I'm guessing you two are my patients today, huh?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Papyrus chanted, shaking Sans in excitement. Sans continued to stare, mouth ajar.

Another skeleton? Other skeletons existed? Where they from the lab? Was she from the lab? Did she know Gaster? Was she created by Gaster?

“Alright, how's everything going?” The healer looked over the work Maggie was doing and hummed, eyes glancing up at Sans before returning to the work. “Any particular reason why you can down here? Or is this just a check up?”

“Sans wasn't feeling too well,” Grillby informed. “I think it might be a fever.”

“Odd time in the year to be getting fevers,” Ellen stated, stepping over to Sans. “My name is Dr. Ellen.”

Ellen. Ellen the skeleton. Sans felt his eyes sparkle at the name.

“I'm going to make sure you and your brother have the healthiest bones in the whole Underground. Sound good?” Sans mouth shut and both skeletons' nodded. “Great, I see nurse Maggie checked you guys out for the most part. Why don't we see how that magic is flowing, huh?” The doctor pulled out a tool from her pocket, moving too quickly for Sans, causing the skeleton to flinch. Ellen hid her react but slowed down her movements. “I'm going to check your magic level, okay?” Sans felt Papyrus squeeze his hand and he nodded. One end of the stethoscope was placed over Sans soul, causing the skeleton to tense up. Ellen moved the end of the tool to Sans sternum and Sans took in a shaky breath. Ellen hummed and leaned away, removing the tool from Sans' chest and moving it over to Papyrus.

“You both got some wonderful magic flow. But, that's a skeleton perk right?” She winked, but Papyrus looked confused.

“Is it?”

“Yes, it is, skeletal monsters are very rare in the Underground. Most of our genetic DNA is recessive.”

“Recessive?” The younger skeleton wondered.

“Less likely to occur,” Sans stated, helping his confused brother.

“You got it,” Ellen smiled and Sans bit back a smile. Praise. “Skeletons are very special, though because most of the time they are very powerful when it comes to magic and they develop it at an earlier age than other monsters.”

“Sans can do all sort of magic!” Papyrus bragged and Sans grunted.

“I bet he can! Sans had a beautiful magic flow, just like his soul.” Sans quickly covered his soul, shrinking into himself. Grillby looked surprised, to say the least. Could she see his soul as well?

“You can see it too?!” Papyrus exclaimed.

“Another skeleton perk. You have a very healthy soul, Papyrus.” Papyrus blushed and grinned.

“My brother has a better one! You can't see it now because he's nervous, but it is the prettiest thing in the whole world!”

“I bet it is!” Ellen proclaimed, Sans flushed a dark shade of blue, hiding his face behind Papyrus.

“Bro, come one. Cut it out.” Sans groaned hating the sudden attention directed to his ugly soul.

“No need to be embarrassed Sans. You can see my soul, right?” Sans poked his head out and looked at the doctor. His white pupils landed on her chest where her soul was. An inverted heart rested there, radiating a happy and healthy aura. It looked like Papyrus', lively and merry. Sans eyes flickered down to his own soul that wasn't nearly as impressive.

Disgusting.

“Well now that we looked both of you two over, let's see what we can do about the illness, huh?” Ellen clapped her hands together. “Can you tell me what exactly is the issue today, Sans?”

“N-Nauseous.” Calm down.

“Anything else? Any achy bones?”

“A-A-Achy bon-nes.” Breath.

“Can you tell me where exactly?” Sans felt his breathing pick up and he swallowed.

Exactly. Where. She wanted to know where. She wanted details. Ellen wasn't Grillby. Ellen was a doctor. Doctors wanted detailed. What bone, how bad, how long, when, where, why, what-

“Kiddo, just tell her the general area,” Grillby stated, standing up to go walk over to him.

General.

“S-Skull,” Sans whispered, squeezing Papyrus' hand.

“Is it near the front or the back or just all over?” Sans started to breathe heavily. He couldn't be general. Was the doctor always this tall? Gaster was tall. Gaster towered over him, casting his dark shadow over Sans every time he looked at him. Did Ellen know Gaster? Was Ellen like Gaster?

“Brother?” Papyrus rested his hand on Sans' cheek and the skeleton jumped pupils pinpricks.

“Chronic pain throughout the skull. Dull phantom flashes on the right radius. Stiffness in right knee and proximal, middle, and distal phalange on the last three phalanges on the right foot. Tender area around left eye-” Grillby rested a hand on Sans shoulder and the skeleton bowed his head, shrinking into himself, holding Papyrus for comfort. Ellen and Maggie were silence, eyes wide as their gaze shot over to Grillby. Papyrus held onto his brother sensing the sudden drop in mood.

“My brother is smart!” He stated, hoping to lighten the mood. “He reads all sort of books I don't even know how to read! H-He knows all about the bones! I bet he knows more than you!” The younger sibling joked. The room was silent for a beat before Maggie spoke up.

“Yeah? You studying up on anatomy?”

“Oh, the little guy studies everything!” Bonnie chimed in, letting out a nervous laugh. “He probably studied all kind of medical mumbo-jumbo in his free time! The kid just can't get enough of it.” Bonnie joked, shooting Grillby a look.

“Uh, yeah.” Bonnie slapped a paw over her face and let out a loud sigh.

“Hopeless.” She whispered to herself and Maggie covered her giggles.

“It's alright, Sans. I'm very impressed you know so much. It helps me out a lot. Thank you for telling me about it. Can I see you right leg, Sans?” Ellen asked the skeleton. Sans said nothing but slowly lifted his leg slightly, offering it to the doctor.

She wants to help. Healer not doctor. Help not hurt.

Sans flinched when the doctor ran a hand over the knee, examining it. The doctor stopped moving, waiting for Sans to relax before she looks over the exposed bones.

“This is an easy fix, little guy,” Ellen announced, getting Sans to poke his head out slightly. Ellen rolled up her pant leg, exposing her long boney leg. “See my knee? This little guy right here isn't like it should be.” Sans examined the patella, noticing his was slightly crooked. “All I'm going to do is pushed it into place. It won't hurt a bit, do you trust me?” Sans nodded.

No.

“You're going to feel a little bit of pressure, okay?” Ellen let her pant leg fall back down and wrapped her hand around the patella. “Want me to count down?” Sans shook his head, wanting it to be over as quickly as possible. Sans squeezed his eyes shut, gripping Papyrus as he felt the bone being pushed to the left slightly. With a loud pop, Sans let out a squeak and the healer lets go of his leg.

No pain. No pain? No pain!

Sans eyes shot open, pushing away from Papyrus as he gripped his knee. No pain. He moved it carefully, studying the bone and movement that was no longer stiff. Healed. He was healed. Ellen helped him. Ellen the doctor helped him. Sans eyes sparkled as they looked at Grillby, conveying a message his voice failed to say. The skeleton looked back at the doctor who watched Sans with interest, fascinated by his overjoyed reaction.

“Want me to fix those toes?” Sans eyes got wider. Could she heal him again?! Could this monster really fix him? The skeleton yanked off his shoe and sock holding his foot out. Sans grabbed his brother again but did not hide behind him. Just like the patella, Ellen made sure to warn Sans about each time she was going to pop the digit into place before doing so. Sans winced at each pop expecting a sting that never came. He wiggled his toes, mouth hanging open slightly as he watched the bones move without cracking oddly.

“Do me! Do me!” Papyrus chanted, wanting to be magically cured as well.

“I don't think you got any stiff bones, Papyrus.” Ellen laughed and Papyrus pouted. “I can check if you want.” Papyrus gasped, eye twinkling.

“YES!” He shouted, kicking his legs excitedly against the table. Papyrus practically threw his jacket and shoes at Grillby, sticking out all of his limbs for so the doctor could look them over. Sans pulled himself away from his healed leg and watch warily as Ellen looked over his brother. Dr. Ellen was a lot less careful with Papyrus compared to how she was with Sans. She ran her bony hands along Papyrus' hands and arms, pausing at small hole marks and dents. Sans held his breath every time she stopped, relieved when she was finally done. Papyrus had her check every part of his body to ensure she didn't miss a spot

“Nope, sorry. Looks like you are perfectly healthy.” Papyrus whined, flopping against the table. The younger brother shot up, joyous emotion returning to his face.

“My eye socket hurts sometimes!” He announced, pointing to his right eye.

“Does it?” Ellen asked, glancing at Maggie who gave her a short nod. “Mind if I check it out?” Papyrus shook his head, but Sans grabbed him and pulled him back, glaring at the doctor.

“Sans, no fare! I want to be healed!” Papyrus whined and the older brother eyed Grillby, informing the fire element to step in.

“You're fine, bro,” Sans stated, voice friendlier than his current facial expression. “Told ya' it was a magic thing.”

“Backup,” Grillby muttered to Ellen, waving his hand slightly and the doctor followed his instruction. Sans eased up, allowing Papyrus to roll away from him.

“I want the healer to see!” Papyrus proclaimed. “Is it just magic?” Ellen brought her attention to Maggie who tapped against the words she wrote down earlier.

“Afraid so.” Ellen sighed, watching the monsters soften around him. “Unfortunately for you, I can't see a thing wrong with you.” Papyrus groaned, resting his head against his brother. “Sans on the other hand still is feeling pretty sick. We need what else we can do to help you out.”

“Am I done?” The younger skeleton questioned.

“All done,” Maggie replied and Papyrus jumped off the table He taking his clothing article back from Grillby and made his way over to the small toy station set up in the corner. Sans suddenly felt very alone and shivered.

“You said your arm was hurting? Can I see it?” Sans pressed his teeth together clutching onto his long sleeve. Help. Sans needed to remind himself that Dr. Ellen would help him. She had helped him. She would help him.

She was Ellen the healer, not Gaster.

“'Kay...” Sans mumbled, carefully pulling up his sleeve he rolled it up to his humerus. Sans remained still as the healer took his arm and looked it over. She spotted the large shredded bone spot instantly and bit back her frown.

“This does look pretty painfully,” Ellen admitted, slowly losing her calm facade as she took in the condition of the arm. “I'm sorry, but got to ask this. How did this happen?” The air felt rigid, the only sound being Papyrus crashing and clanking the toy together. Sans mouth was closed, tightly sealed.

“Sans, we can help you.” Maggie tried, hoping her softer tone would ease an answer out.

“...No,” Sans answered head bowed.

“No?” The healer looked at Grillby who shook his head.

“He...doesn't like to talk about it.” The bartender addressed and the healer lets go of the skeleton's arm, allowing him to pull down his sleeve.

“We're almost done,” Ellen said to Sans who continued to look at the floor. “Do you mind if I look at your ribs?” Sans gripped onto his shirt tight and shook his head. “Okay, that's fine. Can I get you to look up?” The skeleton lifted his head and Ellen offered him a smile. “I'm going to ask you a few questions about your skull, okay? Your head, do you know why it hurts?” Sans shrugged. “Did you hit it on something?”

“No.”

“Did someone hit you?”

“No.”

“How long has it been hurting?”

“Since yesterday.”

“Were you using a lot of magic yesterday?” Sans hesitated to answer.

“Y-yes.”

“Alright, well it could be because of that then. You might have used up too much magic yesterday and drained yourself out.” Sans shrugged once more. “Would there be any other reason?” Sans didn't respond. “Has your head hurt you before?”

“...Yes.”

“When it did, were you using a lot of magic?” Sans tried to recall the day he left, nodding his head. “Well, I think I can help you feel better. Does that sound good to you?” Sans small pupils landed on the hollow sockets of the doctors.

“Yes.”

“Do you know anything that could help me make sure I diagnose you correctly? Any more sore spots or achy bones?” Sans shook his head. “Is there anything at all you'd like to tell me? Remember I'm here to make sure you leave here today feeling brand new. I won't tell anybody else what you tell me.”

“Sans, would you like us to leave the room so you can talk privately?” Bonnie suggested, but Sans violently shook his head.

Help. Help. Help. Aid. Heal. She is a healer. She will help. In order to help, she needs to know. Sans couldn't say it. He didn't trust himself to open up without panicking. The nervous skeleton looked at Grillby, grinding his teeth together.

“Say what you want, Sans. Don't say anything you aren't comfortable with saying. No one is forcing you.” Grillby wanted Sans to get help. The bartender didn't like when Sans force himself to open up for him in hopes of winning his affection, but Sans had no idea how else to achieve it. If he unwillingly made himself talk, Grillby would be upset. However, getting the doctor to properly diagnose Sans would make Grillby happy and less stressed.

Sans made a small motion for Grillby to come over. The fire element stepped closer and Sans tugged on his shirt until they were at equal heights.

“…You tell her.” Sans whispered to him, pulling back.

“You sure?”

“Hgn... a .little bit. Not all. Enough. Not now.” Sans rubbed his arm nodding his head to Grillby. “Grillby will tell you.” The doctor looked over to the fire monster quizzically.

“Alright, well, I think we are all done here.”

“Bonnie want to wait outside while these two talk?” Maggie suggested, holding open the door. Bonnie stood up and took Papyrus by the hand.

“Sans, you want to stay?” Grillby asked, but the skeleton shook his head and quickly left with Bonnie. Maggie closed the door as she left and Ellen let out a loud sigh.

“What the hell happened to him?” The doctor demanded.

“A lot,” Grillby answered, running a hand over his face.

“I don't even know where to begin. I've never seen bones look like that.” Ellen looked over the notes Maggie had written down for her.

“Can you help him at all?”

“Physically, yes.” The healer responded, rubbing the back of her neck. “I can get rid of most of the markings. That one of his arm, I'm a little more worried about. It's like someone tried to scrap off his bone with a jagged rock. I'm surprised he is screaming out in pain. That kids a wreck. There are injection marks on both of them, you said they have never been to a hospital.”

“They haven't.” Grillby pressed his flamed head flickering. “They were abused. I don't know the whole story, but there was some doctor and they were--” Grillby let out a sigh. He felt so sick talking about it, thinking about it. “He said stuff about injections, experiment, tests, they both were abused by some scientist doctor.”

“That makes a lot of sense,” Ellen admitted. “Those marks are barely even healed but they are done precisely. Except that mark on the arm, that's the worst. I honestly didn't even know bones were capable of looking like that. I really wish I could have seen the rest of him. Have you seen it at all?”

“Not really, no. He's really private. He is always wearing a jacket and gets very nervous when you look at him for too long.”

“I could see why.” The healer muttered, turning a page of the notes.  
“Are they really that bad?”

“Papyrus, no. Papyrus only has small needle marks on both of his arms and around his right socket. He has a mild case of malnutrition. An easy fix with some extra vitamins. Sans, on the other hand, is severally malnutrition.”

“I've been feeding both of them regularly for months now. How are they still malnourished?”

“You aren't feeding them what they are missing. Although I'm sure you have a balanced diet for them both, but you aren't supplying them with the extra nutritious they need. They need extra dosages of vitamin D and C. It wouldn't hurt to have some A as well, considering they are both growing boys and Sans immune system is currently failing if he's sick. Some antioxidants and added calcium will be needed as well. That's just in the diet area. I would recommend some daily vitamins they got at the store as well. Start both of them off on those gummy child ones and gave it two weeks. If Sans hasn't improved energy wise, buy him some adult medication and cut it in half, we don't want him getting too much.”

“What about Sans' body?”

“It's pretty similar to Papyrus' only more damaged. Needle marks on both arms and left eyes, his arms and legs have odd dents and grooves that are unexplainable to me. It's like the kid was made out of clay and someone decided to go to town on his bones. There are faint scorch marks around the neck, the markings lean more toward some kind of electrocution rather than fire.” Grillby's hands balled up in rage. “There are small lacerations scattered about, the cause could be anything from a scalpel to a drill to even a laser of some kind. And all this is just from his neck, arm, and legs. I don't even know what his ribs, shoulder, or spine look like. Though, from his posture and way he walks I can assume it's not good. It may be dislocated or broken and never really healed correctly like his leg.” Grillby recalled the jagged rib that caught on the shirt and frowned.

“Yeah, I think that's safe to assume.”

“The recovery process for Papyrus should take a month max. Sans may need to continue the medication and diet for three to four months. I'd like to see him again once he starts clearing up.”

“I'll see if he's up to it,” Grillby said and the doctor nodded. “What about his illness? It is a fever?”

“No, not a fever. His magic levels are fluctuating causing his body to overwork itself. Currently, his levels are a bit too high, but should balance themselves out in a day or so. Try to keep the magic use to a minimum. Keep him at home till he gets better. Although most kids can't use magic at his age, those who can tend to be a little unstable and could set his balance off. I'll write him a note for the school.”

“Thanks.”

“Also, his soul, have you seen it?” Ellen set down the paperwork, frowning.

“No, I haven't.”

“As odd as a recommendation as this is, I advise you to take a look at it yourself or get Papyrus to help keep you informed on his condition.”

“What's wrong with it?”

“Sans has a very dim soul, Grillby. I usually see a soul like that when someone has fallen down. I couldn't get a proper read on it without summoning it, but I was about to get enough information to know that you need to make sure Sans stays positive. Papyrus made him very happy and so did praise. You don't have to spoil him, but do try to lighten his mood up whenever you can. I'm afraid if it's got any worse it could become unstable.”

“Unstable? What do you mean? Will he be alright?”

“He won't fall down if that's what you mean. Skeletal monster souls are linked heavily with their magic. They often go hand in hand and work together to keep the body healthy. We need to have a healthy soul and stable magic levels in order to remain sound and steady. That can be tricky sometimes because the two are independent for the most part. For a normal monster, their soul is in control of the magic. If you are unwilling to fight, you are weaker and your magic attack is less. Our magic is separated from our soul. Instead, of being in control of the magic, our soul keeps the magic stable and balanced. When our souls are under a lot of stress or in Sans case very unstable and depressed, our magic tends to be a lot less controllable. Sans could end up hurting himself or others by accident because his soul is too weak to manage his magic correctly. The strength of our magic is controlled by us, not our soul. If Sans were to, for example, have some kind of mental breakdown, it could result in a horrific assault he'd had no control over." Grillby's flamed body was low and flickers of green and blue flashed through his core.

"I...how can I prevent that from happening?" Grillby asked, voice thick with emotion.

 "Keeping him happy and stable will prevent that from happening. Papyrus will be able to detect and see if Sans soul is doing okay or not, be sure to check in with him.”

“I will,” Grillby stated, looking a little more yellow than usual.

“Let me know if anything comes up or happens. Perhaps next time it would be best to do this at your place. Maybe he will be relaxed enough for me to do a full evaluation.”

“Maybe.”

“Unless you got any more questions about them, I'll start writing up the prescriptions for you.”  
“Can I take it as well? The prescriptions.” Grillby asked and Ellen gave him an odd look.

“Uh...I suppose so. I wouldn't recommend it, but it won't harm you. It won't do anything for you, actually. Kinda like trying to wash soap. I'm actually not too sure how much of it you can take. I plan on giving them creams and ointment that might not work on your flames. I also plan on giving them a bathing medication as well, which you really can't use.”

“Alright, that's fine. Sans just-uh, likes to make sure it's safe.”

“I...understand.” The healer stated, offering Grillby a soft smile. “You can go wait with them outside if you don't have any more questions.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Grillby said and Ellen smiled. The bartender stepped out of the office and Sans head shot up from the play area he was sitting at with his brother. The skeleton stood up and ran over to Grillby, eyes wide and curious.

“What did she say?” Sans wondered and Grillby took a second to collect this thought.

“Well, uh...” Grillby took in a deep breath unable to lightly put the words he wanted to say. “You don't have a fever.” The bartender settled on.

“I knew that.”

“Yeah, well, it's nice to have it confirmed, ya' know?” Grillby rubbed the back of his neck, head flaring up slightly in his moment of distress.

“What else did she say? What's making me sick? Can she help me? What's she going to do? What did he say?”

“One question at a time, kiddo. She said you were feeling sick because your magic levels were fluctuating too much. You'll be better in a few days, but until then you're going in with me to work and no magic use.” Sans nodded his head, eager to hear what else the doctor had to say. “She's going to help both of you with your...marks. It's going to take a while to heal, though. It's not an easy fix like me.” Sans frowned but nodded. “It's going to...you are going to have to take some special medicine,” the skeleton's grip tightened on Grillby's leg, “to help.” He finished, letting out a sigh.

“I don't...” Sans made a small noise of distress, shaking his head.

“Kiddo, I know you don't want to. I can't force you to either. But if you want to get better, this is the only way. I will show you it's safe and try to help you as much as I can, but this is your choice. You are going to have to trust the healer on this. You won't see results in the first day, this is going to take a while, for you at least. She said Papyrus will be all better in a month, maybe even less.” Sans solemn face brightened at the last statement.

Papyrus would be better in a month? Less? The damaged marks that are a constant reminder of how much of a failure Sans was as a brother would vanish? Well, the marks would not the memories.

“Will it hurt?” Sans asked, nervously stepped closer to Grillby when a nurse walking by got too close.

“It shouldn't, but if it does you don't have to take it.”

“Is it a pill?”

“It's a lot of stuff, but no injections or anything like that.” Sans clicked his teeth together, grinding them slightly as he thought it over. He had no time to answer before the door opened up and Ellen stopped herself from colliding into Grillby who had yet to leave the doorway. The healer looked down at Sans offering him a smile, but Sans ducked and hid in front of Grillby.

“I forgot to give you both a reward for being such great patients.” Sans clenched his jaw tightly shut but Papyrus perked up at the sound. Ellen pulled out two lollipops and stickers and Papyrus rushed over to grab them. Papyrus stuck the sticker on his shirt, grinning proudly at it. Sans looked it over, it was a star wearing a cape with the words you're a superstar' written on it. Noticing the pun Sans looked up at Ellen, who offered him the same package. Sans took it, shoving the lollipop into his pocket and looking at the sticker. A yellow star smiled up at him with the words you're a star' written on it. Sans grinned, tugging on Grillby's pant leg.

“What kind of star wears sunglasses?” Sans beamed and Grillby groaned.

“Sans, no.”

“A movie star.” He giggled gripping onto the sticker as he covered his laughter.

“Thanks for that. He'll be making joke for hours.” Grillby stated and Ellen lets out a small chuckle.

“Didn't find that to be humerus?” Ellen laughed and Sans and Papyrus eyes sparkled.

“I don't think it tickled his funny bone.” Sans joked and Papyrus grinned, spotting his brother's soul begin to brighten.

“Tibia honest, not many people appreciate a good pun,” Ellen stated, watching the same reaction Papyrus was.

“This is another skeleton thing, isn't it?” Grillby groaned at the skeletons laughed.

“No need to get all heated, Grillby.” Ellen snickered, handing Grillby a small pile of papers. “Here's all the prescriptions. I wrote down the diet plan as well with a few other things.” Ellen bent down to the children's height smiling at them. “I hope to see you both again someday. I'll be real bonley without you.”

“You sure you're not patell-in a lie?” Sans snorted, no longer hiding behind Grillby

“I wouldn't fibula.” Sans chuckled, feeling renewed and energized. Still sick, but no longer panicked and depressed. He quickly reached out and hugged Ellen in his moment of happiness, pulling away instantly, not allowing her to touch him back. He smiled shyly, hiding back behind Grillby's leg. Papyrus launched himself at Ellen as well, allowing her to hug him back before he took hold of Bonnie's hand and waved.

“Bye!” Papyrus called hand swinging around dangerously.

“See ya',” Sans said and Ellen stood up and waved.

“I'll keep an eye socket out for you two.” She joked and Sans giggled, allowing Grillby to take his hand and lead him out of the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, sorry if the last chapter was a little too intense. There was an abnormally small response to it which concerned me. I'm content with how it ended up, but if it was too dark I can perhaps try to lighten it up slightly in the future if it ever gets that way again. It'll be getting brighter soon. Hopefully I didn't scare any of you away. 
> 
> Thanks for all the support.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got any questions or comments you'd like to ask :)!


	14. Medication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the filler. Not my usual cup of tea...

“What the fuck,” Grillby muttered, looking over the medical instructions for one of the thousands of prescriptions he picked up. He tried to organize them, but it was too much. There were five ointments, three creams, ten different pill bottles, one large container of bath salts to soak in, one larger tin of medical powder to add to the bath, and some type of gel to use instead of regular soap. Grillby set down one of the creams and groans to himself. How the hell was he going to get Sans to use even one-third of this stuff? He still needed to get some vitamins at the shop as well. That added onto all of this would be-...

Grillby cursed and rested his head on the table. He heard the chair next to him be pulled back and some soft shuffling before it was quiet.

“Did you finish organizing it?” Papyrus asked and Grillby lifted his head a bit.

“This look organized to you?”

“No, not to me. Maybe to Sans, though, he's messy sometimes. Would you like some help?”

“Where's your brother at?” Grillby questioned looking around for the other skeleton.

“He took a nap. He said he was feeling pretty tired.” Papyrus stated and Grillby looked back at the pile before him.

“I think there was something here I was supposed to give him before he did that,” Grillby muttered, rubbing his flamed face.

“Do we have to take all of these?” Papyrus looked over the stack of pills, poking one of the bottles gently.

“Yes and no. These are six are for both of you.” Grillby slid the six bottles to the side leaving the other four alone. “These four are for Sans. Most stuff here is for both of you minus those four bottles, that red cream, those two green ointments, and the soap stuff is more for him but you can use it too if you want. It's supposed to help give your bones more strength.” Papyrus hummed, nodding his head as he took it all in.

“Is Sans really sick?” Papyrus inquired, looking up at Grillby who was silent. “I know he doesn't like me to worry about him. He doesn't like to tell me things because he doesn't want to make me upset. But, I still worry. He always listens to me and makes sure I am always okay first. He did that a lot when we lived outside. I didn't like it when he did, though. He'd always give meals to me or give up his jacket if it got too cold. He didn't like it when I protested, it made him sad, but it made me sad too. He was happy if I ate, though, so I did. I made sure he ate too because it made me feel better. Sometimes I'd eat more so he'd worry less, but it made me really concerned.” Grillby remained quiet, allowing Papyrus to talk.

“Sans, he was sick before too. Sans doesn't get sick very often. I only remember him being sick once, twice counting this time. The other time was worse, but I don't know. He's better, though than last time. He threw up a lot when he was sick before.” Grillby frowned, recalling Sans stating that he had thrown up yesterday. “Do you remember what I said about that room? The white one with the alarm?”

“I do,” Grillby replied honestly

“Sans was really sick after we ran away from there. That was the last time I saw him that sick. He kept vomiting up this black goo.” Papyrus made a face of disgust as he recalled the memory. “It was really gross. He was sick for a week before he started feeling better. After that, he was never sick again. Well, until now. Do you think the healer was right? Was it just magic use? Sans used a lot of magic before. He was really scared about something and kept skipping and blinking everywhere until he couldn't move. Did Sans use a lot of magic yesterday?” Grillby took in a deep breath, holding it in for a few minutes before releasing it slowly as he spoke.

“Yeah, Sans used a bit of magic yesterday by accident.”

“...Did he attack the King?”

“By accident.” Papyrus let out a soft laugh, shaking his head.

“Sans doesn't attack people by accident. Sans doesn't make mistakes. I know he probably doesn't want me to know, but thank you for telling me.” Papyrus beamed up at the bar owner. “It makes me feel a lot better when I know he is okay.”

“Can't you tell if he's okay or not? Can you not see his soul?” Papyrus shook his head but shrugged as well.

“Sometimes. Most of the time we can see each other's souls, but sometimes I can't see it. It's usually when he's really upset or spaced out. I couldn't see it too well yesterday. Sans doesn't like it when you stare at his soul, but sometimes it's the only thing I can do to make sure he's okay.”

“Can you see his soul right now?” Papyrus looked up at their shared room and nodded.

“I saw it before he went to bed. It was a lot better than before, still kind of dim, but that's because he's sick. It was really shining when he was making jokes with Ellen. I bet she saw it too. I wish you could see it too, it is really the prettiest thing. Especially when he's really happy! Then, his magic swirls around it and it's just incredible.” Grillby almost envied Papyrus for being able to see the amazing sight he ranted about. “I hope you can see it. I hope he lets you.”

“I do too, Pap,” Grillby stated, rubbing the skeleton's skull gently. “We'll take it one step at a time. First, let's try to get him to take at least one of these.” Grillby pointed to the wide area of medications.

“This'll be hard,” Papyrus admitted, not looking defeated, but very wary. “What if I take it to show him it's okay?”

“I think Sans would kill me if I allowed you to take any medication without his permission.”

“Probably.” Papyrus agreed, rubbing his jaw as he thought. “What if we play a game and if he loses, he has to take them?”

“I'm starting to think I know your brother better than you do.”

“Sans'll never take these unless he's tricked,” Papyrus whined, knocking over a pill bottle in mild annoyance.

“Let's not lose hope yet. Let's try to organize them first at least.” Papyrus sighed, but nodded and the two worked together to arrange the medication in order. They were separated into two piles, Sans' and both of them, each pile ordered from what time of the medication was supposed to be taken. Papyrus set down the final ointment in Sans' pile, the one he was supposed to use before he went to bed, and sat back smiling.

“It looks better.” Grillby agreed and the two admired their handy work. “Surprised your brother is still asleep. He usually can't sleep for too long without you.” The bartender spoke and Papyrus shrugged pushing away from the table.

“Sans loves to sleep. He just doesn't do it a lot because he doesn't feel safe. He never got any sleep outside.” Papyrus informed Grillby as he pulled himself up on the couch and sat down. “Sans sleeps a lot here, we both do. It's safe and warm, like a hug.” Grillby's flame heated up at the skeleton's words. Whether he was aware of it or not, the kid always said the cutest and sweetest thing. Grillby wouldn't know what to do without Papyrus around helping him with Sans. He was also pretty sure the older skeleton would be lost without his brother as well.

“Can I watch TV?” Papyrus questioned, looking around for the remote to the television. Grillby stood up and walked over to him, picking up the remote on the table as he sat down. Turning on the television for Papyrus, handing him the remote. Papyrus happily flicked through the channels, stopping eventually on some cartoon show about being friends? Grillby wasn't honestly paying too much attention to the show, but he was happy Papyrus seemed to be enjoying himself. A few episodes of the show went by in the comfortable silence, minus the television noise was broken.

“Pap?” A voice called and the small skeleton perked up.

“Brother?” Sans shuffled out of their room, yawning as he peeked over the rail to watch them in the living room.

“Hungry?” Grillby asked and Sans nodded, starting his slow descent down the stairs. Sans padded his way to his brother, crawling on the couch next to him, arms wrapping around his sibling. Sans hummed, rubbing his skull against Papyrus' back.

“You are so warm, bro,” Sans smiled, feeling immensely better with Papyrus next to him. Sans opened one socket up and glanced up at the table, spotting the neat array of medication. He frowned, groaning softly. “What's all that?”

“It's our medicine! You fell asleep on Grillby when we picked it up.” Sans whined, smushing his face against the fabric of Papyrus' shirt.

“No,” Sans moaned and Grillby snorted, not use to seeing such a calm and childish side of the skeleton. He bartender suspected the illness might have been playing a role in the behavior.

“Why don't you look it over while I start dinner?” Grillby suggested, but Sans just grunted. Papyrus managed to get the skeleton to sit down at the table and he glared harshly at the prescriptions.

“Why are there so many things?”

“Because there is,” Grillby replied and Sans scoffed.

“This one is your pile! We share this one!” Papyrus informed his brother, pointing to the different piles.

“You didn't take any, right?” Sans asked Papyrus who nodded.

“I waited for you!”

“Grillby,” Sans called loudly, despite the fire element being only a few feet away. “What is all this?”

“Sans, it's your medication. Do you not-”

“No, what is-oh wait.” Sans picked up the bottle and squinted, reading the label. “It says side effects!” The skeleton flung the bottle away as if it had burned him.

“Oh boy.” Grillby sighed, setting down the carrot in his hand. Now that Sans could read the labels, it was going to be a lot harder to get him to take any of the medication with all the warning labels and side effects listed.

“Sans, do you want me to take it for you?” Sans shook his head, picking up an ointment, scanning the label.

“What's a rash?”

“An irritation you get on skin, something you don't have.” Sans frowned, setting the ointment back down, a little closer to him than the other ones. He picked up a cream and examined it.

“This has water in it.”

“Most creams do.”

“You can't take that! It'll hurt you!” Grillby felt a little flattered that Sans cared about his well-being this much, but was quick to correct him.

“Sans, if I feared everything made out of the water I wouldn't be living in a town that only snows.” Grillby picked up the cream and popped the cap off, squeezing a dollop onto his hand. The white substance hissed and sizzled against Grillby's palm before evaporating completely. “It will, however, not work too well on me.”

“Are you okay?” Sans asked, reaching his hand out to examine Grillby's.

“Perfectly fine. Look see,” Grillby picked up the small instructions and information that came with the cream and handed it to Sans. “This explains what it is, what it is made out of, all the possible but unlikely side effect, and anything you want to know about the product. Each of these medicines had one, see?” Grillby motioned to the area of supplies each one having their designated informational packet below it. “You can read it and look it over whenever you want. I can take any medications you want to prove to you it's safe. Except for those tins, that's for bathing.”

“Bathing? What is all this? How much am I suppose to take? I can't take all of this. That's not good. That's bad.” Sans white pupils shrunk slightly as he panicked.

Too much medication was an overdose. Sans hated getting overdosed.

“Sans, calm down, look at me, kiddo.” Grillby knelt down and rested his hand on the child's shoulder, gaining his attention. “You don't have to panic over this. You only take what you want. If you don't want to take it because it scares you then don't. The doctor knows exactly what to do and wouldn't try to hurt you by giving you too much medication. You are right, sometimes too much medication is bad. It's also bad if you mix certain things together, but that's what the pharmacist and doctors make sure to note.” Grillby picked up a pill bottle and looked it over. He pointed to the sticker on the side and showed it to Sans. “See look, this says do not take with any alcohol.” Sans' face scrunched up.

“Why would I do that?”

“Why would the healer try to hurt you by giving you too much medication?” Sans' mouth opened as if he was going to argue, but quickly closed it. “Why don't you look all this stuff over and after dinner you can tell me what you are comfortable taking. Does that sound good?” Sans clicked his teeth together and nodded.

“Okay.”

Bonnie had taken the liberty of doing the food shopping for Grillby while he took the boys to get their medication. Grillby knew how to cook food, season it, and make it pretty taste in his opinion. He didn't know exactly what to purchase when it came to a more healthy and calcium filled died. Bonnie, however, lived off of exactly what the children needed, vegetables. The bar owner tried his best to ensure the children got a healthy serving with each meal, but this new diet was a bit more demanding. Grillby's once half filled fridge was now stocked with leafy vegetables and a small stack of recipes was placed on the counter because Bonnie had guessed Grillby had no idea how to use lettuce in anything that wasn't a salad.

And to be honest, he didn't.

The bunny monster had offered to come by and cook for them when she was free and Grillby had told her he had it covered but had a small hunch she would most likely be over regardless of what his answer was.

Grillby decided to ignore the stack of recipes for today and went with a regular salad. Neither skeleton seemed to mind, but then again, they usually ate anything Grillby made without complaining. The bartender wondered if the skeletons were still getting used to the idea of having meals even after the few months they have lived together.

“Grillby,” Sans called stabbing his fork into a snap pea. “I've bean thinking.” He grinned, Papyrus letting out a snort.

“About?”

“The medicine,” Sans replied, fork piercing though some lettuce. “Lettuce discuss what I would like to take.”

“Are you going to be making vegetable puns the entire time?”

“I can switch to fruits if that's more ap-peel-ing.” Papyrus let out a loud laugh, almost choking on the carrot he was swallowing.

“Kid, I'll shove this cucumber up your nose if you keep this up.” Sans giggled and Papyrus beamed beside him. When the three finished their meal Sans reorganized the pills and creams into what he was willing to try and what he wasn't. Grillby was surprised that Sans was willing to try most of the liquid products. He seemed to agree to take most of the medication Papyrus needed to take as well, avoid his own pile for the time being.

“Do we take it now?” The younger skeleton asked.

“No, I think the only thing you take during the day are pills.” Grillby read the bottles and nodded. “Okay, so we have a few options here. First of all, do you want to start today or tomorrow?” The fire element directed his question to Sans

“Today.”

“Okay, do you want to take it all today or just pick a few things out. Right now after dinner, you are supposed to take one calcium supplement.” Grillby picked up the bottle and twisted off the cap, setting three pills down onto the table. “Ready?” Sans watch intently as Grillby picked up the pill, bony hands gripping the table. Grillby tossed the pill into his mouth and felt it dissolve in his the heat of his body.

“Are you okay?” Sans interrigated the second the pill was down. Grillby looked himself over, spinning around to show Sans he was fine.

“Golden.” Sans waited a few more minutes before he took the pill, swallowing it down with some water. He sat and waited for something to happen, but nothing did. The brother then allowed his sibling to take it as well.

“Is that it?” Papyrus questioned.

“Depends, you want to take a bath now or later?”

“Now!” Papyrus answered and Grillby nodded.

“Then, let's place this into the okay pile.” Grillby set the Sans approved medicine to the side and picked up the plastic bag he filled with all the bathing medication. The guardian led his children to the bathroom and closed the drain before turning on the water

“Okay, Sans this is the part I'm going to need your help for. I can't test this out for you or touch it for that matter. In a life or death situation, I'd jump into the largest body of water for you kids, but I'm not losing an arm for this.” Grillby admitted lining up the contents of the bag so he could look them over. “You sure you want to do this?”

“No?”

“You don't have to. I can just put in some bubbles.” The bartender offered, but Sans shook his head, rubbing his arm slightly.

“No, I just…'m scared.” The skeleton confessed.

“I bet you are. Which is why you are in control right now. You tell me what you want and I'll make it happen.” Grillby looked over at Papyrus who was splashing his hand around in the water. “You too, bonehead.” He informed and Papyrus gave him a thumbs up. “If you're up to it, you can put this one in first.” Grillby pointed to the large, indigo tin with a picture of a flexing skeleton arm on the cover. Sans nodded and carefully pick the container up and peeled back the lid. The skeleton peaked inside, lowering it slightly so his brother could stare at the lavender color powder inside.

“It smells nice,” Papyrus noted and Sans nodded.

“Two cups?” The elder brother asked, picking up the small plastic cup within like it was about to bite him.

“Two cups.” Grilby agreed and Sans nodded once more, taking in a deep breath. He winced as he scooped the power up, feeling it brush against his hand as he did so. He poured it in the tub and quickly repeated the process, closing the container once he was done. All three watched as the powder dissolved in the water, turning it a rather pleasant milky, lavender color. Sans gripped the edge of the bathtub waiting for Papyrus to turn off the water before he moved. Inching his hand over the liquid, he extended his pinky out and dunked it in the water. Flinging his hand out seconds later, he examined it, Papyrus watching as well.

“It...feels funny,” Sans stated, rubbing his thumb over the phalange. “Like-….like gritty.” Sans went back over and dunked his hand inside, allowing Papyrus to do the same. “Like a powdery film.”

“Is it bad?” Sans shook his head, looking over his hand, clenching it and unclenching it. It actually felt pretty nice? The skeleton picked up the other container and glanced over the instructions before popping it open. He examined the small purple rock salt like rocks inside and scooped up two cups, dropping them inside.

“They didn't go away.” He started feeling around the water.

“Think you need to let it dissolve,” Grillby instructed, placing the two containers under the sink. “You two can get in or wait for it to dissolve. You need to soak for twenty minutes before you drained the tub and wash off in the shower with the gel there. Can I leave you to it, big guy?” Papyrus had already tugged off his shirt and Sans gripped the bottom of his, teeth grinding together.

“C-Can...can you stay? Just-just don't look.” Sans fidgeted, but the bartender nodded.

“How about you two get in and I will check the time and wait right outside. That sound good?” Sans nodded and Grillby lets them change and get in the tub. He waited right outside the door with his book, elbow poked out slightly so Sans could see from the open doorway that he was still there. Twenty minutes later, Grillby informed his children to drain the bath shower. Ten more minutes passed before the shower turned off and the skeletons dried off.

“Is it okay if I turn around?”

“Yes!” Papyrus confirmed and Grillby stood up and turned into the room. Papyrus was naked minus the towel around his shoulders. Sans too had a towel around him but he had pulled his dirty shirt back over him, covering his chest and hips.

“You both feeling okay?” They nodded, Papyrus rubbing his hand over his arm surveying the bone.

“It feels nice!” He commented with a grin. “Like someone is giving every inch of me a hug!” The older brother nodded in agreement.

“You ready for ointments?” Sans yawned and nodded, eyes dropping slightly as he held out his hand for one of the tubes.

“Where does it go?” The skeleton asked, turning the tube over. Sans felt a lot safer using the ointments and creams than he did the pill. He could feel what it was doing to him the second it touched his bone rather than having to wait for his magic to dissolve the tablet.

“That one goes around your eye.” Sans nodded and twisted off the cap and plopped a small dab on his finger, rubbing it into the bone, looking it over. He then squirted another tiny drop and summoned Papyrus. The elder brother carefully rubbed the cream around the socket, making sure to hit all the areas he knew Gaster had gotten his little brother. Papyrus held out his hand for the cream so he could help his brother, but Sans just set it aside.

“I'll do me later.” He stated not wanting his brother to see any of the damaged marks hidden within his socket. The older brother knew Papyrus was aware of all his marks, but that didn't stop him from continuing to hide them as much as possible. Sans took care of Papyrus first, applying the cosmetics to his arms and dabbing the ointments over the small needle marks as the instructions ordered. The elder brother was careful and precise. Sans knew where every scratch was on Papyrus' body the story behind each one playing in his mind as he patched his brother up. Once he was done, Papyrus looked himself over and smiled, hugging his brother tightly.

“Do you need help?” The smaller skeleton asked, but Sans shook his head, forcing a smile.

“No, I got it. Go get ready for bed, I'll be there in a sec.” Sans rubbed Papyrus' head and the skeleton dropped the town as he fled the room to get dressed. The skeleton glanced over the assortments of creams he needed to use and sighed.

“You sure you got it?” Sans jumped, forgetting Grillby was in the doorway. The white pupils darted up to look at him before he nodded.

“I got it.”

“Let me know if you need any help,” Grillby stated before closing the door to the bathroom to give Sans his privacy.

Sans took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he pushed the towel off his shoulders. Sans climbed onto the toilet, using it as a stepping stool so he could climb onto the sink to see his reflection. His eyes bored into his own, deep frown on his face. He closed his eyes and turned away, grabbing the socket cream and getting to work.

Sans took a lot longer patch up. He was extremely tired and still a pretty nauseous. The bath had actually managed to remove his soreness but replaced it with exhaustion. That added to the soothing feeling of the cream and the calming feeling of his bones being massaged had him practically asleep. Halfway through his right arm, Sans groaned, resting his head against the mirror. He just wanted to sleep, but he had to take care of his bones. The skeleton whined knowing he wasn't even halfway done with himself and already wanted to call it quits. He trusted the medication, at least these ones. Sans also knew that applying this gunk despite his sleepy state would make Papyrus happy, Grillby happy, and hopefully down the road Sans happy. Sans trusted Grillby and his faith in the medication. The skeleton only wished he had fewer wounds to cover.

Sans' eyes drifted shut when he was almost done with rubbing the milky ointment on his ribs. He wasn't aware he actually fell asleep until there was a knock on the door that startled him awake. One of Sans' jagged ribs had wedged itself between his radius and ulna, causing the skeleton to let out a grunt.

“Sans? You okay?” Grillby questioned and Sans nodded his head.

“Fine.” He replied, pulling his arm free and rubbing his socket before looking back down at his body. Sans could just walk out and act like he finished applying all the stuff to his bones, but he really didn't feel like lying. He also wasn't awake enough to think up a good reply in case Papyrus decided to call him out. In his lethargic state, Sans pushed aside all his doubt and insecurities and called out for his guardian.

“Grillby!”

“Yea?”

“...come 'ere.” Sans rested his skull against the wall, eyes closing. Sans heard the door open and felt a familiar warmth near his dangling feet. “'m tired,” Sans informed and Grillby kept his eyes focused on Sans' skull.

“Want me to carry you to bed?” Sans shook his head, waving an arm in the direction of the medicine, one eye cracking open.

“Didn't finish.”

“That's fine. If you want to go to bed you can. I'd rather you get over one problem before working on another.” Grillby began putting the caps back on and Sans whined loudly.

“They won't heal. I won't get better.” Sans covered a yawn, hand blindly reaching for the cream Grillby had taken.

“You will get better by going to bed. Come on, Papyrus is waiting for you. I can only read him so many stories.” Grillby delicately picked Sans up, trying his best to avoid touching the bony parts the skeleton was insecure about.

“Did you read him the bunny one?” The skeleton questioned, resting his head against Grillby's chest.

“Three times,” Sans grinned, chuckling slightly.

“It's his favorite. He likes the-” the skeleton yawned widely, “-end. Because the mother bunny gets's her baby back and they are happy. He said it's like us, but I'd never let Papyrus out of my sight. That bunny is a bad mother.” Grillby snorted at Sans comment.

“Sans you missed the story!” Papyrus exclaimed, cuddling a stuffed dog in their bed.

“Sorry bro got sleepy.” The fire element helped Sans get changed and into bed. The skeletons curled up next to each other the second Sans was under the covers, content smiles on their faces.

“Goodnight, Grillby!” Papyrus called as the bartender flicked on their nightlight.

“Goodnight, Papyrus. Goodnight, Sans.”

“'Night Grill,” Sans slurred, already fast asleep. With one final glance, Grillby closed the door halfway, smiling as he went off to his bedroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda, fillery type chapter? I wanted it to be more, but it kinda ended up just being a wrap up of the past few chapters. I realized that this story has like 18 chapters now and I'm not even like, halfway done with the fic. Guess my concern about pacing being too quick is now irrelevant. How have you guys not gotten bored...
> 
> Someone who I admire the fuck out of actually started reading this fic and I am loosing it. Why are you all here, there's like a hundred of you! I plan on, before the next update, going back and editing/adding to the previous chapters (just minor things don't worry). Let me know if you see any errors so I can fix them. I have no editor or anything so I often miss a lot when I read over it myself. 
> 
> Thank you all so very much for everything. Considering I uploaded this a few weeks ago for the hell of it, I am overwhelmed by the amount of support it's got. Thank you.
> 
>  
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or comments. I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	15. Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a bit to chapter 13. You might want to go back at look it over (near the end)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to the wonderful Septitrash for helping me edit these chapters. You are too sweet and perfect, holy moly.

Three days had passed since the boys doctor visit and Sans was feeling completely healed. He had returned to school the next day with Papyrus eager to get back to his classroom. Sans had sadly forgotten how basic the class was and his previous excitement quickly faded. He had finished the work he missed within the first hour of class and was left staring out windows and passing notes to Kitty until lunch. A week had passed before Sans teacher finally decided to speak up about the issue. Sans was now in a class far below his level. It has officially gotten to the point where Miss Lyon was running out of material in her classroom for Sans to do in order to keep himself busy while the other students worked. Although the school really didn't want to bump Sans up a few grades in the middle of the school year, after numerous complaints from his teacher they decided to allow Sans into the higher level classes, but Sans would have to be at a different school than Papyrus.

“Well, Sans will need to be moved to the secondary school next door where he will finish his schooling.”

“Can Papyrus come?” Sans asked and the counselor drew in a sharp breath thinking over her words.

“Papyrus isn't ready for that school yet.” Sans looked up at Grillby.

“Why can't I just take my classwork here?”

“That's not how it works Sans,” Grillby told him and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“First, we aren't even in the same grade and now we aren't even in the same school. What if something happens to him?”

“Sans this school is perfectly safe. Nothing will happen to-”

“This school is not safe. No place is safe.” Sans shot back, silencing the Miss Kerry.

“Sans, listen,” Grillby began, running a hand over his flames head. “This school is too easy for you, simple as that. You're a brilliant kid, not saying Papyrus isn't, but you know more than him, you know this. Papyrus is working himself down to the bone trying to catch up, and knowing your brother, I'm certain he'll catch up in no time. Maybe you might even find the next school to be too easy, and then you can graduate and not have to worry about being apart for so long.” Grillby leaned in a bit closer. “Plus, you and I both you the second you find out Papyrus isn't safe you'll be by his side faster than anyone else.” He whispered and Sans looked over Grillby's face trying to detect some lie or false hope but he found none.

“One day,” Sans said and Grillby agreed.

“One day.”

But when the first day was done, Sans was actually surprised by how challenging his classes were. He was also shocked that he appeared to be the only child in the entire school. He was surrounded by teenage monsters all going through different stages of puberty and it made him mildly uncomfortable. He missed having Kitty sitting next to him. Now he just had some guy who smelt like sweat and wore too much black.

Sans found it most amusing when the teachers or student saw him walk in and think it was a joke or that he was lost. His history teacher actually took him down to the office and told them that someone lost their kid. It wasn't until Sans was proving to be the smartest kid in a few of his classes did the teachers realize how serious the situation was. Even if he found some classes to be a bit too easy compared to the rest, he knew he wouldn't be able to skip some classes like he had before. Although it bugged him how slow some classes appeared to be, he was secretly very happy to actually be challenged for once.

“I can't even read what that says!” Papyrus stated as he looked over Sans' math book.

“I can teach you.” Sans offered, scribbling down the equation.

“Uh-maybe later. I'm pretty happy with my addition right now.”

“Let me know if you need help Maybe you can help me with my work too.”

“I know I'm pretty great, brother, but I don't think I can help you with this. It looks pretty hard.”

“Nonsense, bro, you can do anything. I bet you could write my essay for me no problem, how does that sound?”

 

“Haha, very amusing, Sans. I will not fall for that again!” Sans grinned and the two brothers worked together on their work.

Sans also encountered real bullying at the new school. Of course, he didn't care, hell, he found it amusing just like those other kids in his old school. These ones didn't just make dumb faces, though, they kept pointing out things Sans wasn't really aware he did or didn't think were wrong. They did it for no reason and it was confusing to the skeleton. He used to being punished for doing something bad or incorrect, but here he was doing nothing wrong. So why were they harassing him?

“The hell is he writing?” Sans heard behind him, paying attention to the teacher writing up the notes for the lesson.

“I don't know, man. Some weird ass symbols. What a nerd.” Sans glanced down at his notes, Wing Dings, he always wrote his notes like this. Grillby said it was okay, and as long as Sans didn't have to turn it in, the teacher didn't mind either. If it helped Sans with the lesson no one seemed to care except for them. It wasn't wrong. Was it?

“You think he made up his own writing style?” Sans pencil stopped moving.

“I don't know man, but it's so weird. What a total freak.” Sans glanced behind him at the two glaring harshly at his notes. He went back to paying attention to the front when he felt a soft object collide with the back of his head. Sans nearly dropped his pencil, eyes glued to the paper ball that landed on the floor beside him. He quickly turned around and stared at the two teens.

“The hell are you writing?” They whispered, pointing to their notebooks.

“Notes,” Sans replied, tone a bit bitter.

“Why don't you write it like a normal monster?”

“Yea, no need to be a show off all the time, you freak.” Sans focused on the front of the class debating on pulling the same stunt he had in the past but deciding against it. Well, he chooses not to that day, but as the annoying behavior kept coming, the two making fun of almost everything Sans did was starting to annoy him. They seemed to find some way to make fun of everything Sans did or wore, his jacket, how he dressed, his notes, his handwriting, even his voice. Sans was about ready to murder them after a two week of their harassment. He wasn't aware how badly they were affecting his mood until Grillby had pointed it out to him.

“Kiddo, you look like you're about to snap that pencil in two. Something on your mind?” Sans noticed his death grip on his pencil and eased up. Those two idiots in his class bothered Sans every chance they got today. They threw things at him, tripped him, even 'accidentally' ripped his homework in half. The bullying was getting worse and Sans was about ready to lose it.

“I'm fine,” Sans stated, glancing up at the clock on the wall. “I'm going to go take a bath.”

“Sans, wait.” Grillby grabbed the skeleton's arm, but Sans whined and frantically swung his arm around until he let go. Restraints, Sans hated being restrained, held, bound. “Sans, is something wrong? Do you want me to get Papyrus?”

“No, I'm fine!” Sans retorted a little too defensively. “I'm..going to bath.” The skeleton stated more calmly before he scurried off to the bathroom.

Bathing had become one of Sans new favorite thing to do. With each week that passed, both skeletons found their bodies and spirited being energized like never before. Almost all of Papyrus' marks were gone and Sans was slowly making progress as well. The supplements and diet made Sans feel stronger and more stable. His mood swings and depressive episodes had steadily decreased and his overall mood has improved immensely. He was actually starting to feel less scared and hopeless and more open and happy. Well, before the school bullying picked up. Now all of Sans new energy went into hating the two jerks in his class.

 The next two days were pretty much the same as the last two weeks only, this time, Sans was running on three hours of sleep. Yesterday the taller bully had 'accidentally bumped' Sans in his way into the class causing the skeleton to be shoved against the wall, knocking his things all over the floor. He had bashed his skull rather hard against the wall and spent the rest of the day fuming. Sans' bitter mood had sparked numerous nightmares and flashed backs to occur throughout the night and eventually, he gave up on sleep entirely. He now sat in at his desk, eyes glued to the professor ahead.

“Pst, hey freak.” Sans ignored it. “Hey, fre-Sand!” Sans clicked his teeth together, forcing himself to listen to the teacher's dull voice.

Sans snapped his pencil in half when a wad of paper hit the back of his skull. Snapping his head around, he glared at the two teens who seemed to act as if nothing happened. Sans turned back around, taking a deep breath, but let out an agitated growl when another piece of paper hit his skull. A few students glanced back at them, a few choosing to ignore it while some other passed a sympathetic look to Sans.

Sans tried to calm down, feeling his skull get fuzzy as a soft voice entered his head.

**Dodge the attack.**

Sans shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he ignored the phantom voice. He was hearing things because he was tired. Calm down. Deep breaths. It's not real.

**Pathetic.**

Sans winced his focus breaking and his vision becoming cloudy.

 

~*~

 

 _“_ _Why does it keep doing that?” Sans whined, protecting himself against the assault of rubber balls the machine launched at him. Gaster stared through the glass, clipboard in hand.”_

_“Practice 01S. Avoid being hit and destroy the machine with your femur attack.” Sans frowned, another ball bouncing off of his arm. The test was honestly one of the easiest he had ever been given so far, but also one of the most energy consuming. Sans hadn't ever had to avoid being hit before and the small rubber balls being fired at him didn't hurt too bad but were beginning to annoy him._

 

~*~

 

Sans grabbed onto his arm and ground his teeth together, eyes locked onto the board ahead and he tried to repress the memory. He needed to focus. He needed to keep calm and fo-

Sans clenched his hands into fists in his pockets when he felt a hard object hit his skull, causing his head to feel a dull throb. The skeleton pushed himself up, chair crashing against the floor loudly. A loud ringing echoed in his skull along with the faintest hint of laughter. Were they laughing at him? Mocking him? Sans spun around and felt his left eye radiating magic.

 

~*~

 

 _“_ _**Dodge the attack 01S** _ _.” Gaster raised his voice and Sans panted. There were so many, multiple machines shooting a small laser at him,_ _scorching his bones with each hit._

_“Why can't I just attack?” Sans asked, and let out a yelp when he was hit again with the laser._

_“How would you attack?” Gaster pressed down on three buttons, three machines firing and Sans managed to dodge them for once._

_“Bone attack?” Gaster turned a knob and pressed the buttons again. Sans was unable to dodge one, this time, the laser hitting his foot, and he yelped. The burn was a lot more painful than before._

_“ **Incorrectly WD01S** , if you wish to destroy the attackers at once, what do you need to do?”_

_“Bone wall?” Another turn and fire, Sans let out a loud scream as one hit his spine._

_“ **You do not block, you dodge then attack. You are a weapon 01S, weapons do not coward behind walls.** ”_

_“They are too spread out I can't-” Sans paused and Gaster lifted his finger that was ready to press down on the button._

_“Excellent 01S, you know what to do.” Turning the knob fully, Gaster's fingers hovered over the five different buttons ready to launch. “ **Attack.** ”_

 

~*~

 

The two teens laughter stopped as Sans, with one swipe of his hand, threw them and their desks against the wall. A few students ducked and dived out of the way as the bodies flung to the back wall. Spotting his harassers still moving, Sans' sockets narrowed and he Sans flung the bullies into a different wall. The bullies cried out in pain as they bounced off the wall, landing with a loud thump onto the floor.

_**Finish them.** _

****Sans clenched his hand, ready to pull out their souls when his teacher stopped him.

“Sans!” The teacher shouted and Sans left his magic fade, the classroom dead quiet. Sans broke the silence when he let out a small whimper. His head cleared and he glanced around the room feeling ashamed. His eyes darted around from the groaning bullies to the horrified student, his body shrinking as his pupils landed on his teacher.

“Principal's office, now.”

Sans got suspended for two weeks and had to wait for Grillby to come and pick him up from school. His head was throbbing and his bones occasionally rattled as he trembled slightly, recalling the events.

“Sans?” Grillby sounded a little winded as he entered the main office. Sans was all but lying down on the uncomfortable office chair. He glanced up at Grillby but shrunk a little when he heard the principal come out of his office.

“Are you Sans' parent?”

“Guardian, yes.” Grillby corrected and Mr. Flake motioned the two to enter his office. Sans trudged behind Grillby three steps back, head down. He sunk down into the chair next to Grillby, playing with the zipper on his parka.

“Sans got in a fight today at school.” The principal stated bluntly and Grillby's flame rose in shock. “It would appear that Sans was baited into a reaction, but he attacked them with magic and threw the instigators against the wall and almost injured a few students along the way.” Sans kept his gaze to the floor.

“Is he-”

“Expelled? No. Due to the situation and the confession of a few students stating Sans was being bullied in the class for a few weeks now, we are not holding him fully responsible for the attack. However, he did injure students and will be suspended for two weeks. I know it must be hard for you to get adjusted to the new school Sans, but violence is not the answer. You should have told the teacher. If this happens again, I will have no choice but to remove you from the school.” Sans just nodded, knowing better than to try to talk his way out. His old habits returning quickly. Eyes on the ground, answer all questions with no sound unless asked to, follow all commands.

“Thank you, Mr. Flake. I'm sorry for all the trouble.”

“It's quite alright. I'll be sure to inform the teachers of Sans situation. I'd like to try to help him if he is being bullied.”

“Come on Sans, let's go,” Grillby called, picking up his backpack for him. Sans stood up, walking three steps behind him the entire way home. Every passing second making Sans rethink his actions.

He didn't regret knocking the teens around. If he was honest, he liked using his magic and it felt nice to put the bullies in their place. Sans honestly felt like he had done the right thing. Sans was trained to fight back, to stop the attack and terminate the attacker and although he didn't kill anybody, he definitely stopped the bullying.

What didn't feel nice was the silence between Grillby and Sans. Silence was a bad thing. When Gaster was silence it had mean Sans failed and was going to be punished. Although Gaster most likely would have approved of Sans actions, the skeleton knew Grillby did not. It wasn't his fault, though. He was being pressured into the attack the bullies were egging him on. His emotions were unstable and the voice was-…

The voice. Sans insanity spoke to him, or at least that's what he told himself. It spoke and he listened., he always listened. Sans tried to ignore it, but he failed. It was his fault. He should have told someone. He shouldn't have attacked them. He shouldn't have enjoyed watching them cry out in pain as their bodies collided into the wall. It was his fault and Grillby knew it was. That's why he was silent. He was angry at Sans for being such a failure. Grillby knew Sans was pathetic like the voice told him he was. Grillby knew everything just like Gaster. Sans was always being watched, studied, judged. He was never safe. Why had he ever allowed himself to think differently?

Sans couldn't help but begin to tremble slightly as they approached their home. Once inside what would happen? Would Grillby hit him? Send him to be without a meal? Threaten him? Lock him up? Would Grillby think he was defective for hearing things? Probably. Grillby was tired of him and Sans couldn't blame him. Grillby hated violence and this was probably the last straw. Sans had managed to lose his guardian and savior and it was all his fault.

Sans really regretted using his magic on those jerks now.

“Sans?” Sans glanced up at Grillby. The fire monster stared down at him, door held open for him, but Sans seemed to be too scared to enter. His pupils were small and body shaking slightly as his gaze shifted between the open house and the man. Once that door closed, what awaited him? Pain? Death?

Grillby watched as tears began to form in the skeleton's sockets before sliding down his face as a small sob escaped him.

“Oh Sans,” Grillby pulled Sans into a hug. Sans flinched as he felt Grillby hug him and Grillby felt a small tug at his heart. “Sans hush, please, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. Don't cry.” The fire element rubbed Sans' back, the skeleton letting out small little hiccups as he tried to calm himself down. Grillby picked Sans up, allowing the child to sob quietly into his chest.

“I'm sorry. D-Don't hate me. I-I'm sorry. P-Please, don't-t hurt me. Please, I'm sorry.” Sans begged, knowing his pleas were useless. He didn't want it to end, though. The skeleton was so happy here in their home with Papyrus and Grillby. He was so happy to have Grillby protect him and listen to him. He was so happy and now all of this joy would vanish and he had no one else to blame but himself.

“Sans, no, no, no. I am-kid, shh, listen to me, little guy.” Grillby whispered, gently rubbing the back of Sans' skull. “Sans I am not angry at you. I would never hate you. I would never ever hit you, you know this. This is not your fault, you don't have to apologize.”

“It is m-my fault! It's alw-ways my fault!” Sans wailed, bony hands gripping onto Grillby's shirt.

“No, it's not. None of this is your fault. You are a victim. I have never been angry at you before, have I?” Sans shook his head. “Have I ever hit you?” Sans shake and Sans sobs seemed to be lightening up. “So, why would I start now?”

“B-Because I hurt someone.”

“Sans, if you ask me they had a coming. If you hadn't beaten them up I might have done it myself.” Grillby stated, hoping to brighten the mood. Sans opened his mouth to speak but jumped slightly when Grillby's cell phone rang. The bar owner maneuvered the skeleton around and pulled the phone out, answering it.

“Grillz, where are you at?” Grillby cursed softly, forgetting that he left his bar in the care of the most responsible monster there at the time.

“Sorry, Meese, something came up. How busy is the bar right now?” Sans seemed to silence his sobbing instantly and Grillby wasn't sure if it was out of practice or he was just done crying.

“Pretty empty, minus Doggo and GD.”

“I'll be right over,” Grillby said a quick goodbye and ended the call, stuffing the phone back into his pocket. “Sans, I need to go close the bar up. Can you wait here for-” Sans pulled his hood up, shaking his skull. “Okay.” Sans wrapped his arms around Grillby's neck, hiding his face from the outside world. Minus the occasional stutter in breathing and or small burn off water against his flame, Grillby felt as if Sans was coming down from his episode, he just wished the dogs would get the hint and leave quickly so he could go back home.

“There he is, jeez man what took you-oh shi-shoot man, what happened to the little guy?” Meese stepped out from behind the bar and walked over. Sans body remained still but Grillby felt his hand tighten around the fabric they clung to.

“Just wasn't feeling very well.” Grillby lied, feeling Sans relax slightly.  
  
“That's the bad part about school man, kids spread those diseases like the no one's business. Hope he's okay.”

“He'll be fine, nothing a good night's rest can't cure.” Meese nodded, glancing back at the two dogs that seemed to also look worried for the skeletons health.

“Friend okay?” Greater Dog barked, tail hanging low.

“He's fine, don't worry.”

“Jeez, come one GD, let the man get his kid home!” Doggo said, standing up and exiting the bar with a goodbye, Meese following after, all of them wishing Sans a get well soon.

“Maybe I should carry you around more often. Might get to leave work early for once.” Grillby joked, waiting for a response. “Sans?” Grillby glanced down noticing the skeleton fast asleep. The bar owner let out a small huff and decided to clean up the bar tomorrow. Locking up as he left the bar, Grillby made his way back home. The bartender attempted to set Sans down on the couch, but the skeleton was not having it, arms clinging onto the monsters' neck. Grillby eventually gave up and decided to sit down in his chair and recline back, allow Sans to lay against him as he napped. Glancing at the clock, Grillby saw that he still had three hours before he needed to go pick up Papyrus from school and decided to allow himself to follow in Sans footsteps and take a small nap.

Sans woke up first, the small movements he made trying to free himself caused Grillby to wake up as well. Sans sat up on his lap, blinking sleepily as he looked around half-lidded at the room. Grillby lifted his hand, resting it on top of Sans skull gaining the attention of the child.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“Kinda had a little attack there.” Sans looked lost for a moment, pupils fading as he recalled the incident. He just hummed, head bobbing a bit.

“Sorry.”

“Hey, we need to talk about this suspicion, though.” Sans rested his head against Grillby chest. “Sans, why didn't you tell me someone was bugging you at school?”

“Because I didn't care. It didn't bug me before. It was just annoying.”

“How long has this been going on, the principal said a few weeks.”

“Guys nuts,” Sans mumbled, playing with the buttons on Grillby's vest. “It's just been like two weeks...ish. They didn't like how I took notes, but I didn't care because the teacher said I could use Wing Ding it if helped me because he didn't need to see them. They said it was weird though and kept calling me a freak.” Sans grumbled and Grillby felt his flame heat up slightly. “They just kept being annoying. Tossing paper, teasing me, it was childish so I didn't retaliate.”

“So what made you this time?” Grillby questioned and Sans stopped fiddling with the clothes.

“I was tired? I don't know, I didn't sleep too well last night. They kept throwing paper at me and then they threw something hard and-I don't know. Just got upset. I wouldn't have hurt them. I just flung them back to the wall. It wasn't even that hard.” Sans lied, still hiding his face.

“You are pretty careful with your magic, Sans. You must have been pretty upset.” Sans raised his shoulders, dropping them down. He was. He was furious, exhausted, kinda sad, a little hungry, he was a wreck. It was pathetic.

Pathetic...

“I...was,” Sans admitted, face still hidden.

“It's okay to be. Everyone gets a little upset. You know I did when Asgore came by.” Sans frowned at the name.

“Grillby is it-...When you're tired, do you sometimes-...” Sans clenched his teeth together, squeezing his sockets closed as he spoke. “Hear things?”

Grillby was silent. The fire element gaze was locked onto the child, hiding in his arms. Hear things? Was Sans hallucinating?

“No,” Grillby replied honestly, testing his luck by pressing on. “Do you?” Sans didn't reply, debating on his answer. Honest. He needed, to be honest with him. Grillby was here to listen, to help. Maybe he could...

“...Sometimes.” Grillby's flame lowered and he watched his color darken in concern. “Today, I...heard things...”

“Only today?” Sans took in a deep breath, memories replaying inside his skull.

“For a while.” Grillby took a moment to compose himself, not wanting to startle Sans.

“What do you hear? Is it a voice?” Sans nodded. “Is it a random voice?” The skeleton shook his head. “Do you know who it is?” Sans took in a shaky breath, feeling tears beginning to form.

“It's Gaster,” Sans whispered, voice cracking. Grillby's arms tightened around the skeleton who started to tremble in his arms. “I-it's like h-he's there. I-In my head-d and I-he-he's going to hur-rt me and h-hurt Pap-Papyrus and-and-and-”

“Sh, Sans!” Grillby cooed, pressing Sans against his torso as he rubbed the back of his skull. “Deep breaths, kiddo. Calm down, everything is okay. No one is going to hurt you or your brother. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.”

“I-I don't-don't know w-what to do? I-I hear it why-when I'm upset? I-I can't-t stop a-and I don't feel anyth-thing and I hear the-the v-voice? T-Today I-I heard and t-the day I attack-attacked you I-I heard it and I-” Sans let out a sob, covering his mouth as he cried.

He was crazy. Was he? He had to be. Gaster was gone. Sans knew this. Sans watched him vanish. Yet, why did he still appear? Why did Sans hear that venomous tone whisper in his skull, controlling his movements and mind? Sans felt so powerless, so blind when it occurs. He felt as hopeless and weak as he had in the lab. The voice managed to destroy all his progress, reducing him to the pathetic lifeless corpse he was in the labs. The voice alone was enough to break him, and allow the emotions he felt consume him. He allowed Gaster's voice to guide him, order him around and like the obedient slave he was, Sans obeyed.

“H-He's here. He's not gone. He's here.” Sans fingers latched onto his skull, curling around the bone and his fingers clenched around it. “He's going to come back-k. He's go-going to hurt me. H-He's going to kill Papyrus. It-It's all my fault. I-I shouldn't have disobeyed. I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry! He's going to kill me.” Sans pupils vanished and his hands pressed against his skull. “He's back. He's here. He's back. He's back. He's back!”

“Sans! Listen to me, you have to calm down.” Grillby begged, pulling away from Sans. “He's not here. No one but me and you are in this room.” The fainted chuckle ghosted by Sans and he violently shoved Grillby, knocking himself onto the ground.

“You **L I A R**!!!” Sans shrieked, glaring harshly at Grillby. The flame element held onto the arm of the chair, preventing himself from running over to his child. The bartender needed to stop Sans' panic attack. His soul, Ellen warned him about his soul, his magic. Sans could become unstable. Sans was becoming unstable. Grillby needed to act quickly and find some way to soothe the skeleton.

“Do you want me to get Papyrus?” Grillby asked, voice calm.

“ **P-Pap? No. He'll hurt, Pap. No!** ”

Unable to understand, Grillby assumed his first attempt failed and panicked slightly. He felt so useless not knowing how to calm his child down without the aid of his brother. Grillby wouldn't dare try to touch the skeleton in his current condition. What made him happy? What, other than Papyrus, would make Sans calm down?“S-Sans, would you like to hear a joke?”

“ **Joke? No. Can't talk. He'll hurt. Never speak. He knows.”** Sans began to hyperventilate, the whispers becoming louder sound like static inside his skull. It was him. Gaster was coming.

 ****Grillby watched as Sans' hands began to glow slightly, his left eye flashing as he shook, muttering to himself.

“Sans, kid, please I don't know what to do,” Grillby admitting, abandoning his chair to bravely approach the child. “Sans, I promise you no one is here. Gaster is not here. He can't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you. You have to calm down. I don't know how to help you like this. I want to help you, but I need you to talk to me. It's just us here, you are safe. You can talk to me.”

“No.” Sans stopped shaking, the cyan aura around him vanishing. His empty sockets bored into the ground. His body was numb, mind silent. But his soul, why did it burn? Why did he feel so empty? Why couldn't he feel his toes? Why couldn't he feel his sockets as they blinked? What was happening?

Help? Grillby wanted to help? Why? The fact that Grillby wants help almost made Sans angry. Angry? Grillby was even more naive than Papyrus. Couldn't he just tell from looking at him that he was beyond help? Couldn't he tell from how Sans acted that he had seen and done things that would make Grillby regret the day he invited the boys into his life? Grillby didn't want to help. Grillby got upset when he thought about having to hurt all those humans in the war. Sans couldn't tell him what he'd done, what he had to do. Sans wouldn't tell anyone. Sans couldn't be helped. Sans was a failed experiment.

“No,” Sans repeated as he stood up, picking up his backpack that was resting against the chair. Alone. Sans needed to be alone. Isolated. Grillby couldn't help. No one could. Sans was alone. Alone with the voice, Gaster's voice. Why was it comforting? Sans wished he could hear it. Familiarity. Abuse, pain, terror, he needed it. If he couldn't receive it…

 Maybe he would inflict it.

“I heard about those old war stories in class a few days ago.” Grillby frowned, disliking the sudden topic change. “I read that the sights of dead bodies and disfigurements permanently damaged a lot of monsters. Some soldiers are mentally damaged, PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, depression. Even you are scarred by the sight of the humans blistered and roasted flesh.” Sans turned to face Grillby's, hand resting on the stair rail, pupils gone from his eyes. “I think it's cute that you guys suffer from a traumatic incident you signed up for.” A dry laugh escaped the skeleton, his eyes narrowing. “At least you had a choice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and support, hope you enjoy the chapter. I'd apologize for the pain, but that ending was pretty sweet right? Ha ha *screams into the void*
> 
>  
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or comments (don't be shy~). I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	16. Threaten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope your okay with me sharing this art the-prince-of-owls but you guys...[CHECK OUT THIS CUTE ASS DOODLE HERE!](http://the-prince-of-owls.tumblr.com/post/139038885334/some-scenes-i-visualized-from-keelynoelleart-s/)
> 
> I often times reread the chapters and just go: "I am a fucking monster." ...this chapter is honestly one of my favs so far.
> 
> Thanks to the wonderful Septitrash for helping me edit these chapters. You are too sweet and perfect, holy moly.

Sans stayed up in the brothers’ bedroom for the rest of the day. He kept the door closed and only allowed Papyrus in, never leaving himself. The next couple days were exactly the same. Grillby would wake up in the morning and get ready to walk Papyrus to school only to find Sans had already taken off with him. By the time Grillby was ready to leave to open the bar, he'd notice the small, snow covered, yellow boots by the door signally Sans was home. He knocked on the door, ask if Sans wanted to come, get no response, then leave and return later to make him lunch. Despite this trend continuing for three days now, Grillby still pressed his luck and knocked on the door once more.

“Sans, would you like to come with me to work?” Grillby asked, knocking on the door. He got no response and tried the door only to find it locked. Grillby sighed, staring at the door. “I'll be back for lunch to check up on you.” And with that Grillby left, despite not wanting to. The fire element was mildly offended by Sans’ final statement he said during their little dispute. Grillby could not be angry or even blame Sans for saying what he did. It was true, every word. Grillby did volunteer for the war. He knew exactly what he was getting into and still signed off on the paperwork. All those years of therapy and coping with the lost friends and travesties he saw, they were all his own fault. Sans, though, he was forced into it. His pain, depression, all of it was caused by a choice he was never given. Sans outburst was just misdirected rage, an illness Grillby was also a victim of once upon a time.

For now, the fire element could do nothing but wait for Sans to come out. Although Grillby was never completely in the same shoes Sans was currently in. He was depressed enough at one point to know that barging into the room would most likely end up with the bartender missing a limb or two. So for now, he'd wait.

Sans sat in the corner of their room, staring at the door. Grillby had left a few hours ago, and Sans had homework to do, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the room. Every time Sans thought about school he became very angry, but every time he thought about Grillby he only felt sad and scared. The entire bullying ordeal confused Sans beyond belief and he was barely able to contain his agitation and moody behaviour in front of Papyrus, who was unable to make Sans feel better.

When Sans had gone home the day of his suspension he expected the worst, but why? Sans knew if Gaster had seemed the attack the skeleton would have a reason to be scared. Sans also knew that Grillby would never act like Gaster had no matter what the skeleton did. Sans knew hurting things was wrong. He knew that violence was bad, but when it was needed or instigated, it was fine? Gaster forced Sans to kill and hurt so many things. The doctor encouraged Sans to even fight back at times, having moving targets or small machines shoot lasers or rubber balls at him. If someone were to attack Papyrus or even Grillby, Sans would not hesitate to kill the threat, but was it wrong of him to think that way?

Sans knew Papyrus never wanted to hurt anything. Even when forced into it, Papyrus refused to hurt anything, hoping his kind heart would somehow reach out and influence everyone else's. Sans always admired him for it, even the mentality ended poorly for him.

 

~*~

 

_Sans looked over the small, black bracelet-like contraption around his arm. Papyrus fiddled with the identical one on his own arm as well, sliding it around. Gaster had placed the two bracelets on the brothers and left the room. Sans was on edge about the ordeal, not enjoying Papyrus being near Gaster or in this new foreign environment._

_Yesterday, though, Papyrus apparently failed a test. Gaster had wanted to see how strong Papyrus' attacks were, but when the opponent turned out to be alive, Papyrus refused to attack. Papyrus returned to their room limping and Sans feared that was not the end of the punishment._

_“WD02P.” The two looked up as Gaster re-entered the room with a crate. “Yesterday you failed to perform the task I commanded you to do.” Gaster walked past them, setting the crate down and turned to face them. “I hope that with WD01S being present, you will hopefully prevent that from happening again.”_

_Papyrus glanced over at Sans who tried to remain as stone-faced as he could despite the feeling of dread growing in him._

_“01S you are not to interfere with 02P's tests. 02P, you are to do as I say. If either of you disobey,” Gaster pulled out a small control device with two white buttons on it and pressed them. An electrified shock zapped both experiments, causing them to yelp. “You will be punished.”_

_The two boys nodded._

_“02P,” Gaster called and opened up the cage, a small white cat stepping out. “Attack the creature using your femur attack.”_

_“No!” Papyrus shook his head, backing away slightly. Gaster pressed the right button and Sans let out a yelp, a shock shooting up his arm and through his body. Papyrus cried out as well, reaching out to Sans._

_“ **02P,** ” Gaster warned, removing his finger, allowing Sans to tremble slightly in the aftershocks._

_“Please no! Don't hurt-!” Sans tried to fight back the scream but failed, falling over as he tried desperately to remove the shocking device._

_“Femur attack,” Gaster ordered. Papyrus knelt down next to his brother, watching as Sans panted heavily, face contorted in pain. Papyrus quickly summoned his attack, but it quickly vanished as he spotted the cat cowering away from the noise of the room._

_“I-I can't. I won't hurt-” Papyrus let out a sob as Sans convulsed next to him. “Please don't! Stop hurting Sans! Please!”_

_“How selfish of you, WD02P.” Gaster stepped closer, towering over him. “A task as simple as this and you can't even perform it. Not even when the one you care most about is being hurt because of you. You really are my creation, and I always thought Sans was the cruel one.” Papyrus flinched away from the words, eyes watering._

_“I-I'll attack anything else. Anything! Just-I-I can't.” Papyrus shook his head hands clenched into fists. “Brother I can't. I'm sorry I-” Papyrus covered his face in shame as Gaster pressed the button._

_“02P.” Gaster crouched down to Papyrus' level, watching the skeleton glance up at him from between his fingers. “Look at 01S.” Papyrus lowered his hands slightly and looked over at him. Sans was wheezing, body unable to stop shaking. His leg or arm occasionally twitching or kicking out uncontrollably as fresh tears streamed down his face. Papyrus whimpered loudly and Sans cracked open his eye slightly, unable to force a smile through the shocks that fried his bones._

_“Fine…Pap...” Sans breathed out, eyes clenching shut as he felt an aftershock shiver down his spine._

_“You have a choice 02P,” Gaster stated, gaining his attention once more. “Do as I say and attack the creature using your femur attack, or-” Gaster held out the remote to Papyrus, “press the white button labelled S.”_

_Papyrus' eyes widened._

_“After all, you are essentially causing him pain, because of your selfish ways. You have caused him to become that disgusting, twitching mess. S does everything I ask him to because he knows you'll get hurt if he doesn't. Yet, you stand here and make all his hard work for you mean nothing. Do you even care about him? Why would 01S care so much about such a selfish brat? You'll end up killing him, 02P, and it will be all your fault. Go ahead, WD02P, press the button. Prove to me how cruel you really are.”_

_Papyrus didn't react at first but glancing between the cat and brother, he felt fresh tears trail down his face as he slowly raised his hand. Feeling his magic slowly grow, Papyrus lost concentration when he heard Sans scream out. Papyrus looked over, finding Sans hand over the left button, making the choice for his younger brother._

 

~*~

 

Sans shivered as the memory passed, letting out a shaky breath. He'd be damned if he'd allow himself to stand by and watch Papyrus destroy himself. Sans would and did whatever he could to keep his brother safe. His own life meaning nothing as long as the younger one was alive. Papyrus didn't like it when Sans fought for him or fought at all. Always trying to get Sans to choose the non-existent other option that he'd never choose.

 

~*~

 

_“ **Fire the blasters forty percent,** ” Gaster instructed and Sans felt a bit nervous with Papyrus watching but summoned them regardless knowing if he didn't he'd be hurt. Sans fired, the three dummies turning to blackened ash by the end of the blast._

_Gaster hummed, nodding his head before opening a small door and watching as three white rats scurried out of the door. They quickly, but carefully explored the room, looking for the exit that did not exist._

_“ **01S, 02P, summon your femur.** ” Both brothers did as commanded, femurs appearing by their side. “Attack the rats without moving from that spot.” Papyrus frowned and Sans tensed a bit._

_“But I don't-”_

_“Pap,” Sans whispered glancing up at the doctor before looking away. “Don't.”_

_“But, brother it is not right. They do not deserve to-”_

_“Papyrus, please, don't do this. You know what will happen if you don't follow directions.”_

_“No, Sans, no. I will not.”_

_“I do not care who does it.” Gaster watched them with a blank expression. “But they will be dead, or you will be.” Sans didn't need to be threatened twice, hand outstretched as he flung his bone at the rat, missing by the rat's speed._

_“Brother no! You don't have to do this! We don't have to-”_

_“01S, miss again and 02P will not be return to the room with you today.”_

_“Brother this is wrong. I don't care what he does! This is wrong!”_

_“Perhaps an injection of determination will change his thinking, or improve your aim.” Gaster thought out loud and Sans blocked out Papyrus' voice as he moved his arm, crushed the rat with the bone. Summoning two more, Sans easily smashed the other two rats looking only at Gaster when he finished. Sans was unable to look at the horrified face his brother directed at him._

 

~*~

 

**_“Weapon.”_ **

He was protecting Papyrus! He was saving him. He had no choice.

Sans shook his head, banging his hands against his skull a few times to try and shoo the memory and voice away. These thoughts of right and wrong, kill or be killed, Sans hated them. Sans hadn't felt happy killings something for a while, so damn long. Not before Papyrus was aware enough to tell him otherwise. Gaster always liked Sans more back then, when he didn't need to threaten Papyrus to get Sans to listen to him.

 

~*~

 

_“ **01S, launch your attack.** ” Sans, without another word, lined up his shot and fired. A small cry came out of the animal, but Sans just turned to face the doctor, a smile on his face._

~*~

 

Always a damn smile.

 

~*~

 

_“ **Can I use my blaster today?** ” Sans asked as he chewed on the grey vitamin cube Gaster gave him._

_“ **Yes, I had planned on you using it today, 01S,** ” Sans grinned, kicking his legs in excitement._

_“ **Do I get a moving target?** ” Gaster was mildly amused by Sans enthusiasm._

_“ **Multiple moving targets.** ” Gaster finished filling out the report and motioned for Sans to follow him into the room. “Today you will need to fire your blaster in a straight line.” Gaster pointed to the line of X's across the wall in front of them. “Hit all the X's and you will be rewarded. Miss one, and you will be punished. Summon your blaster.”_

_With some concentration, Sans eyes glowed and the blaster appeared._

_“ **Fire,** ” Gaster commanded and Sans lowered his hand. The blaster fired a perfect line, cutting through all the x's perfectly._

_“ **I did it!** ” Sans cheered and Gaster nodded, scribbling a few notes down before he used his magic to open a small panel and a row of creatures walked out looking around the room._

_“ **One blast, kill the targets.** ” Gaster watched as the creatures slowly began to separate, making the task more challenging the longer Sans waited. Sans was ready, though, blaster aimed at the first creature ready to fire when told. The second Gaster allowed Sans to fire, Sans clenched his fist smiling as the blaster cut through and turned all the creatures to dust._

 

~*~

 

Sans gaged, falling onto his hands and knees as he felt whatever he had last night rise up and force its way out of his body. Sans vomited onto the carpet, letting out a groan after each heave. Having very little to eat there wasn't too much to heave up, leaving Sans dry heaving for a solid ten minutes before he gave up and rested his head against the wall.

He needs to stop thinking about him, about that place. He needed to think about Papyrus, how happy he was. He needed to think about school or the homework he needed to do. Anything, anything to keep his mind off of that place. That voice.

Sans was unaware he was muttering to himself in Wing Ding. Repeating reports he had read over numerous times or things Gaster had spoken about that would never leave Sans head.

“ **WD01S shows magic level raising higher** -Stop! Papyrus, think of Papyrus, Papyrus is okay. Papyrus is at school, maybe reading a book or learning about numbers. - **Numbers show to be stable after the overdose of DT yesterday. However, HP has decreased and currently unable to** -” Sans let out a frustrated sound, banging his head against the wall. His voice, the voice, the static, so many sounds were happening. He just wanted it to be quiet. Sans just wanted to sleep.

**_“Sans.”_ **

“Shut up!” Sans screamed bashing his skull against the wall until his head went silent.

He should have gone to Grillby's.

Grillby should have stayed home. The entire time he was at the bar, he was too busy worrying about Sans to pay too much attention to anything. Drinks were mixed up, orders mistaken, food burnt, he was a mess. By the time lunch rolled around Grillby all but ran home, opening the door as normally as possible. He felt his magic pulse as he saw the room to the brothers' bedroom opened up a crack. He hastily made his way up the stairs and knocked on the door gently.

“Sans?” Grillby asked, opening the door a bit, peering into the dark room. He glanced around looking for him, eyes spotting him in the corner of the room. Sans was staring up at the ceiling with empty sockets, lighting hitting his head against the wall. The bartender noticed a small crack in the skull and winced as Sans ignored it and continued bouncing his head off the surface. Grillby stepped inside, noticing the vomited ectoplasm staining the carpet and frowned. Detecting his presence, Sans pupils returned and were watching Grillby.

“Do you think I'm bad for hurting those kids in my class?” Sans asked and Grillby shook his head, feeling the air around him buzzing with some unfamiliar energy.

“No, Sans, I don't.”

“What if I killed them?”

“I'd be a little worried about the outcome, but no. I wouldn't think you were bad.”

“What if I wanted to kill them?”

“Did you?” Sans gazed upon Grillby, the two staring intently before Sans looked away shaking his head.

“Papyrus doesn't like me hurting things,” Sans said, eyes back on the ceiling. “Papyrus wouldn't hurt them even if they begged him too.” Sans’ pupils faded once more and Grillby stepped a bit closer. “Me, though,” Sans began, “I wouldn't hesitate to turn them into dust if they even looked at him funny.” Sans closed his eyes, breathing long and even breaths.

Grillby kept making his way closer, stopping at even small movement Sans made.

“Did you know that Papyrus has never hurt a single creature in his entire life?” Sans looked proud. “Even when he was about to, I stopped him, because Papyrus couldn't handle that feeling you get when you hurt someone.” Sans clenched his fist in his shirt. “That feeling of regret, that feeling of anger, that wave of joy and satisfaction.” Sans turned his head slightly to the side. “Just like war, right? You feel terrible killing people, but pretty happy you were able to use your magic so perfectly.” Grillby hated when Sans brought up the war. “Papyrus wouldn't be good in a war. He's too nice.”

Grillby remained silent.

“Have you ever hurt someone you cared about?”

“No.” The bar owner answered honestly.

“I have.” Sans head stopped bouncing against the wall. “I hurt Papyrus. I hurt you. I hurt everyone because I...” Sans trailed off, going silent.

“Sans?” Grillby asked trying to get Sans to snap out of his daze.

“Do you think monsters were made to have one purpose?” Sans watched Grillby. “Be a leader, a teacher, a mother, a gardener, a weapon?”

“No, I believe you can be whatever you want to be. No one can tell you what you are or are not.”

“What if it's all you know? What if you were raised to be one thing and it's all you've ever known and all you have ever been told and surrounded by?”

“Then that's even worse. How are you to know what other choices are out there if you've never seen them?”

“Grillby.” Sans voice was heavy. “What if you were raised to hurt people? But one day, you are told that hurting people is wrong. You try to adapt, but one day when you end up hurting someone, you don't feel like you normally do. You were raised to feel good about hurting them, but now you feel bad because you know that everyone else will hate you for feeling happy about it.” Grillby got the hint that the story was a little more than hypothetical. “Is it wrong then, to feel that way? You were always thought that hurting monsters was good, that fighting back and standing your ground was the only way to live.” Sans' pupils returned, faded but wide, tears threatening to fall as he continued.

“So is it wrong for me to want to hurt those boys? Is it wrong of me to not feel upset about hurting them? Do you hate me because I don't feel bad? If the teacher didn't stop me I would have killed them. I would have killed them and I wouldn't regret it. You don't like that, though, and that confused me. I was scared that you were going to hit me and hurt me because I did something wrong even though I was raised to think it was right. I was confused and I still am. How can you expect someone to change my way of life? Does it make me bad for not liking the new change? If all I know is how to be a weapon and kill people, then why do I feel like people won't accept me for who I was raised to be. Is it excusable? Will people just understand that I was born this way and let me do what I want? To be punished for doing something I was only ever rewarded for confuses me. I expected others to be upset I didn't kill them or didn't hurt them the right way. But I realized they were upset I had hurt them to begin with.” Sans covered his face, curled up into a small ball.

“I know what I did was wrong, but I also don't understand why I got into trouble for doing something I've only ever been praised for. I don't like it. I hate it. I want to go back to what I know. I want you to be mad at me. I tried to get you to be mad at me, to hit me, punish me, but you didn't. You confused me most of all. I do something bad and you do nothing. Why? Do you know what I did? Why I deserved to be punished? You treat me like a regular monster when I am nothing like them. I deserved all of it, every last thing he did, I deserved. I miss it. The fear, the familiarity, everything I knew. I don't know anything here. I can't expect anything. I can't obey your every word because you don't like that. You ask for my opinion, my thoughts, what I want. I hate it! I don't have an opinion! I don't desire anything! I am a machine! I listen to commands and do them and if I fail I get punished! That's what I want! I want to be treated like the weapon I was created to be!”

Grillby remained silent, the information flooding his head and overwhelming his emotions. Sans was quite as well, face hidden by his arms.

“S-Sans you-”

“You hate me, don't you?”

“What? Sans, no I don't.”

“I bet you would if you knew.”

“I could never-”

“Would you be scared if I hurt you on accident?” Sans head lifted slightly pupils gone.

“No.”

“What if it was on purpose?” Sans eyes flashed blue and Grillby felt uneasy but stood his ground.

“No.”

“I could, you know.” Sans eye sparked dully. “Kill you right now. Shatter your soul and turn you to dust. Does that scare you? Are you afraid?”

“No, Sans, I'm not afraid of you.”

The two watched each other, almost daring the other to react. Sans broke the gaze, curling away from him, pulling his hood up.

“I'm sorry.” He whispered and Grillby finished the space between them, pulling him into his lap.

“Sans, please, talk to me. I don't understand and I want to. I'm trying desperately to connect the dots but I can't without your help. I never pressured you to open up or even talk about it because I don’t want you to be upset. But right now, I don't know how to help you. I want to so badly, but I need your help to do that.” Grillby begged and Sans shook his head, curling up. “Can I ask you why you feel this way?” Sans didn't react and Grillby took it as a sign to move forward. “Do you really want to be treated like some machine?” The skeleton shrugged. “Are you afraid?” Sans nodded. “Do you think I'll be mad at you?” Sans shook his head.

“I'm scared that you'll be afraid.” The skeleton’s voice was soft. “That you'll hate me and kick us out. I don't-” Sans took in a shaky breath. “I'm scared of what you'll think of me, but I'm even more afraid of what will happen to Papyrus if you find out. He-he shouldn't have to go back to our old life.” Grillby squeezed his arms around his adopted child and tried his best to keep himself from crumbling under the depression and terror radiating off of Sans' body.

“Sans,” Grillby spoke, voice so soft. “I need you to listen to me, okay?” Grillby released the skeleton from his grip. “Can you look at me, Sans?” Sans was hesitant but turned around slowly in Grillby's lap. His gaze shifted a bit as if trying to look over every small object available before looking at Grillby. Sans’ small white pupils were faded but larger than normal, cheek bones stained with trails of tears, sockets already forming new ones. Grillby held Sans' head in his hands, ignoring the sting he received as he brushed his thumb over the tear stains.

“I will never, ever, ever, allow you to go back to where you came from, streets or other. This home, the stairs, the kitchen, this room, they are all yours. That roof over your head is your roof, this ugly purple carpet is your ugly purple carpet. This home is your Sans, yours and your brothers and no one, not me, not the king, no one can ever take that away from you.”

Sans eyes grew bright as tears slid down his cheeks, stinging Grillby's hands.

“Sans, you and your brother, you two are one of the best things I could have ever let into my bar. You and your brother make me so happy. I could never imagine what my life would be like without you anymore. Waking you two up every morning for school, getting you ready for school, making you breakfast, packing your lunch, picking you up from school, helping you with homework, making you dinner, tucking you both in at night, every little thing makes me so happy. Nothing, nothing in the whole Underground or beyond, could ever make me even think that the choice I made was anything but right. I don't care what you or your brother went through. I don't care what you two have done. You could burn my entire bar down and I'd only care about whether or not you two are okay. Your past does not label you, Sans. You are not what you were, you are whatever you want to be. What do you want to be Sans? Do you want to be happy?”

Sans nodded and Grillby had to move his hands, the tears like waterfalls down his face.

“Do you want to be a good brother to Papyrus?”

Sans whimpered, bobbing his head.

“Do you want to live here with me and Papyrus?”

“More than anything.” His voice was broken and small but heard.

“You don't like who you were before coming here, right?”

“No.”

“Who do you want to be? Who do you, as your own self, want to be?”

“I want to be a good brother to Papyrus. I-I want to live here with you and go to school. I want to be happy and not be afraid or scared. I-I want to be able to be who I want to be and not-not what I was made to be. Not what he wanted me to be. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to be bad. I just want to be a normal monster like you.” Sans rubbed uselessly at his face, trying to push away the endless tears.

“Then be that Sans,” Grillby smiled, rubbing his hand along Sans’ back.

“Wh-What if I can't?” Sans sounded so defeated as if he has already given up. “I-I don't know how. I don't know what to be or what to do. I-I just know what he wanted me to be. I just-I just know how to be bad.”

“But you don't want to be bad, right?”

“No.”

“Then don't be. Sans, I'm not going to pretend to know what you are going through or what you are really talking about, but I can tell you that you don't have to be what he wanted you to be. You may not know how to get to who you want to be, but you know what you don't want to become. You don't want to be a bad brother, so you don't right? You don't want to hurt people, and you don't. You don't need to be taught to be a good person, kiddo. You already know what is right and wrong, you just need to make the right choices. Everybody messes up sometimes, that's a part of life. Nobody is perfect, and that's okay. You are trying, and that's all that matters. If someone picks on you again, will you fight them or tell a teacher?”

“Tell.” Sans sniffed, finally getting his tears under control.

“Look at you,” Grillby smiled, tickling Sans ribs and getting a few loud giggles out of him. “You are already getting the hang of it! You're a great kid, Sans. You don't need help being a good monster. You already are.” Sans reached out and hugged Grillby, squeezing him tightly. The two remained in the tight embrace for a few moments before Grillby realized his break wasn't forever and needed to still have lunch. Grillby also recalled the crack in Sans' skull that Sans was either ignoring or was unable to feel.

“Sans, uh-go to the bathroom and clean yourself up while I tidy up the room, okay?” Sans gave Grillby a confused look. The fire element tapped the top of his own head and Sans' slowly raised a bony hand, grazing over his skull. He winced when touching the crack and pulling his hand away.

“Ow...”

“Yeah, it looks pretty painful. You probably got some stuff from the healer to use on it so go patch up.” Sans nodded his head slowly. The skeleton stood up, making his way to the door before stopping for a second. He wiggled a bit in the doorway, facing Grillby with a soft blue colour on his face.

“Grillby?” He called getting his attention.

“Yes, Sans?”

“Thank you,” Sans said before smiling shyly and running off, leaving Grillby smiling at the doorway, flame flickering happily and brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright nerds, here's the diddly darn dealio. I am fresh outta chapters! All pre-written chapters I had are officially done and published! All I have now is a giant document of around 10,000 words titled "Babybones Clustfuck" which is well...a clusterfuck of shit. 
> 
> So, because this is chapter 20 (fuck man...) and ends on a rather positive note, I decided to take a week off. I'm doing this 1) to prepare myself for the Gravity Falls finally and hopefully be out of my depressive stupor once it's over. 2) To start planning future chapters so I'm not up until 4am writing like before. 3) Because stopping at 21 seems awkward. And 4) Because I have ideas of what I want, but I need to connect the dots and make it flow~! So! In a week or...well, let's say sometime between February 17-19, this fic will be back. Until then, I'm free to answer any questions or comments you have on my Tumblr or in the comment section. 
> 
> But for reals, you guys are real swell. I expected like 7 people to be reading this max, but you guys keep coming. I hope I can continue to keep you entertained and happy. 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or comments (don't be shy~). I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	17. Suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [YO GUYS CHECK THIS SHIT OUT! Cute.](http://minish-mae.tumblr.com/post/139094598354/omg-ok-guys-so-listen-keelynoelleart-is/)
> 
> Thanks to the amazing Hannah for helping me catch my many errors...

Sans refused to go to the hospital to get the crack in his skull checked out. Although Grillby did not agree with him, the fire monster was not going to force him to go. Sans instead allowed Papyrus to rub one of the many prescribed ointments and creams onto the skull before bandaging it. Sans seemed content with it after popping a few painkillers and Grillby wasn't going to argue. Grillby was honestly a bit nervous to do anything around Sans. He tried to act normally after the episode, but it was very difficult to ignore the fact that Sans had admitted to hearing voices. He'd watch the skeleton closely, looking for any signs of...well, abnormality. Grillby knew what to look for, but Sans was difficult to read. The skeleton was even more impossible to figure out when Papyrus was around. He was usually completely void of all distress to not worry his younger sibling. Unfortunately for Grillby, Sans was around his brother a lot. The bartender managed to get Sans alone once while Papyrus was asleep, but he wasn't aware of how to bring up a topic this sensitive without it sounding too forced. And to no one’s surprise, it ended up being pretty useless.

“Sans?” Grillby called, Sans looking up from his book to stare at him.

“Yeah?”

“Are you-We kinda didn't have a chance to really talk after what happened. I just wanted to make sure you are okay.” Sans glanced down at his book and placed his marker inside of it.

“I'm fine.”

“Okay, good, uh-yeah.” The flame monster rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You'd let me know, right? If you weren't feeling good or something.” Sans closed his book, a bit pained by how tense the air felt. Sans was hoping to avoid the topic completely, but he should have known better. All he could do now was try to find a way out. He appreciated how hard Grillby tried to help, but he really didn't want to talk about it.

“I'm fine, really. Nothing is wrong. I'm not hearing things or anything. I'm-I'm tired, I think I'm going to go to bed.” Sans picked up his book and made his way past Grillby and up the stairs. “'Night.” He muttered before closing the door. Grillby sighed, looking at the clock and noticing it was a bit too early for Sans to be going to bed. Great, he was avoiding him.

Grillby took off his glasses and rubbed his face groaning. Grillby liked to think he was pretty good at keeping himself level-headed. Being a bit of an unstable force himself once, he figured he'd be able to help Sans, and to some extent, he has helped him. Now the flame monster was just receiving a blast of karma right in the face for all the times he avoided topics with his own worried family and friends. Grillby was in a low place once in his life, he dares say lower than Sans. He knew how to help him, but he never imagined it would be this awkward just trying to bring it up. The fire element was a big supporter of the 'let the kid come to me and chill out' motto. Growing up with a family who breathed down his neck all hours of the day, Grillby knew exactly what not to do for Sans. However, being the laid back parent wasn't going to work forever, and already was failing. Sans already barricaded himself behind a thousand walls, even if Grillby managed to break down a few, it seemed like the closer he got to the skeleton the thicker and sturdier the walls became. But the fire element couldn't allow Sans to make the same mistakes he had. Grillby couldn't stand by and just allow this issue to pass by like so many others. No, he had to help Sans. He just needed to first get Sans to want help which would be the hardest challenge yet.

Sans’ two-week suspension was almost over and Grillby hadn't mentioned a word about the episode to him after his failed attempt. The two haven't talked about it at all and it was slowly killing him. The guardian was hesitant to mention it, fearing Sans might have a panic attack or just flat out ignore him like before. But knowing today was his final day to talk to Sans alone, Grillby decided to take a chance.

“Sans?” Grillby asked during his lunch break. Sans sat at his usual booth, a large puzzle spread out across the table. “Can we talk?” Sans frowned a bit, white pupils looking away from his work.

“About?” Grillby tossed out his half-eaten lunch, his appetite vanishing.

“About the uh-...voices.” Sans hands slid off the table, curling up in the fabric of his jacket. “I just- I hope...I think you know that it's not exactly common to hear stuff like that.” Sans shrugged.

“Yeah, so?”

“I am worried.”

“Why? It only happens when I'm upset.”

“Kiddo, you don't exactly get upset every once in a while.” The skeleton did not respond. “I just want to-” Grillby paused for a beat, “help.”

“You do help,” Sans stated blankly. Purposely being as difficult as possible in hopes that Grillby would drop the subject. Of course, his attempts were useless.

“Sans, I appreciate the thought, but we both know I am worthless when it comes to helping you,” Grillby recalled the panic attack and how hopeless he was. He was unable to do anything to calm Sans down. “How I have been helping you doesn't seem to be working anymore. You've gotten better, I mean- shit kid, you are far from the skeleton I found banging on my back door. But I can't help you when it comes to these types of things.”

“So? You help me in other ways. You listen.”

“Ki-Sans, please,” Grillby begged, resting his hands on his bar. “I am concerned. I can't beat around the bush anymore. I want you to get help. Before it was fine, it was manageable. You had Papyrus to help you and I was there to listen like you said. But now, with your brother at school, I have no idea how to help you without him. I can deal with the panic attacks and mood swings. I can deal with the occasional breakdown. But this, these voices, this isn't something I can just ignore. You are hallucinating.” Sans flinched, hiding in his hoodie. “That's not -that's not okay. I thought you were getting better and that it was under control but it's not. You cracked you damn skull open, kid. I mean, come on, that's not okay!” The skeleton pulled his hood up, head cast downward.

“Look, I said it before and I'll say it again. I can't make you get help. I can't force you to do anything. I can choose to let some things slide and I have, but this is not one of those things. You won't like it, I know you won't. It would require you to talk to people you are uncomfortable with and maybe extra medication. But Sans, this- I... I've been there, okay?”

Sans' head raised slightly and Grillby took a deep breath. God, it's been ages since he's talked about this. “I know what it's like to be upset and depressed. I know what it's like to just feel so worthless and miserable all the time. I know what it's like to hear things that aren't there. I've been suicidal and even attempted it before, but kid, you can get better.”

“W-What's suicidal?” Grillby tightened his grip on the bar, holding his breath for a few moments before releasing it as he spoke.

“It means I wanted to die and I attempted to kill myself.” Sans' sockets widened jaw going slack.

“y-...you-” Sans voice broke off and Grillby sighed, resting his head in his hands. This feeling, it sucked. This is why Grillby never forced Sans to speak, why he never forced Sans into anything. Grillby knew what it felt like, he knew it all too well and now, he needed to let Sans know that he wasn't alone. “I didn't know there was a word for it,” Sans whispered. Grillby's head shot up and he gazed at the skeleton.

“Sans, have you felt like that?” Was he too late? Did Grillby allow his child to fall down the same rabbit hole as him? The bartender's flame was low, a softer maroon colour as Sans shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“Sometimes. When I was sick that one time, I did.” Sans stated, recalling his episode in the bathroom. “But I always thought about Papyrus and felt better. I-I'd never do it...” Yeah, Grillby thought that too once. The flame swallowed the large lump that formed in the back of his throat. He felt like crying but was thankful he was unable to. Sans had thought about it. Sans had thought about death, about suicide. In his home, under his watch, Grillby's child had felt and wanted to die.

“Sans,” Grillby whispered, voice cracking like a dying fire.

“Why did you want to-...Why did you?” Sans questioned, saddened by how upset Grillby looked. The flame monster looked back at his bar and took in a few calming breaths.

“Sans, I was very depressed and unhappy for a long time. I did a lot of dumb shit and I'm not proud of any of it, but I was desperate and miserable. Which is why I'm telling you now to please get help because it doesn't get any better. You can't make this go away by ignoring it. It will only get worse. What we both went through is completely different. I can't understand what you have been through, but it doesn't matter. It's all the same shit in your head, kid. The same voices, the same depression, the same guilt. It doesn't go away. The voices get louder until you can't turn them off. The depression gets worse until you are just numb and desperate to feel anything. The guilt grows until you are suffocating in it. It just gets worse and worse before you just can't take it anymore.” Grillby buried his face in his hands, attempting to calm himself down before he continued.

“I-...I don't ever- _ever_ want you to feel like I felt. I never want you to think that the only way out is ki-...is death because it's not. I could not live with myself if you ever-” The bartender shook his head, taking a deep breath. “It doesn't have to be a therapist. It doesn't have to be a doctor or a healer, or anyone. You could talk to me or a fucking rock for all I care. I just want you to know that this won't go away by ignoring it. You can talk to me about anything and I will always listen. It can be three in the morning or during my busiest hours, I will always make time for you.” Sans was frozen in his chair, white pupils large as the two monsters shared an intense gaze.

“I don't know what to say,” Sans admitted, overwhelmed.

“Just please- _please_ promise me you will let me know if you ever hear anything or see anything or even think about hurting yourself. Please, promise me you will come to me if you ever feel like you can't and I will help you. I promise I will help you. I know I haven't been very good at it before, but Sans I will not let you make the same mistakes I did. You should never feel like that. I never want you to ever be suicidal. Please don't bottle this up. Do not go through this alone because you aren't. You have Papyrus, me, you even have Bonnie. We may not be able to feel what you are feeling, but we are there to listen and try our best to understand. We all love you and want you to be happy, really truly happy. So please kid, promise me you will talk to me or someone- anyone. Just let us know that you are okay, really, truly okay.” Sans swallowed the large lump in his throat, tears threatening to fall.

“O-Okay,” Sans whispered, nodding his head. “I promise.” Grillby relaxed a heavy weight being lifted off his shoulders.

“Come here, doofus,” Grillby said softly, sitting down at the booth and holding his arms out. Sans jumped into them, arms wrapping around him tightly.

“Y-you too,” Sans muttered, looking up at his guardian. “I-If you are upset too. Talk.” Grillby let out a soft laugh, hugging his child tightly.

“I promise, Sans.”

Grillby slept a lot better that night. He had been too worried about Sans doing something reckless these past few days that he had lost a lot of sleep. To finally make it through an entire night without waking up in a panic was refreshing.

Sans made a small attempt to open up as well. The speech Grillby had given him honestly scared the skeleton. He had no idea Grillby had felt that unhappy. Sans' soul felt heavy thinking that his guardian had even felt a fraction of his pain. The idea that Grillby had felt as low as him made the skeleton depressed but also oddly relieved. He wasn't alone. Grillby might not have felt the same pain as him, but they shared the same mental struggles. Sans didn't have to deal with this alone, fearing no one else would understand him. He had Grillby. He always had Grillby and knowing that was very uplifting. So Sans tried his best to open up and walk to the fire element. It wasn't much, but Grillby said it would help, no matter how small the steps toward improvement were.

“The bullying stopped,” Sans said to Grillby while Papyrus was upstairs.

“That's great, right?” The skeleton nodded.

“The other students are a bit nervous around me,” Sans admitted. He was already unpopular before, but now it seemed that people actively avoided him now. “I think they are scared.”

“That happens after a fight in school. You only have two weeks left, don't let it bother you too much. Next year no one will care.” Sans just nodded, staring down at his half completed homework assignment.

“Grillby?” The fire element hummed a response while removing the vegetarian lasagne from the oven. “Why did you try to commit suicide?” Grillby froze, gripping the lasagne tightly before setting it down on the stovetop.

“That's a bit of a long story.” The bartender stated, assuming Sans wanted more details on the matter...

“We can trade stories. I'll answer anything you want.” Sans offered, setting down his pencil. “But my answer will be as vague or descriptive as yours.” Grillby thought over the offer for a moment.

“I guess that's fair. I answer your question and you tell me...” Grillby rubbed his chin, thinking over one of the thousands of questions he had. “You tell me what happened to your arm.” Sans was quick to cover his arm, frowning slightly. “Yeah, uncomfortable isn't it?” Sans didn't respond and the bartender turned off the oven. “Now, do you want the long or short story?”

“Do you want the long or short answer of mine?”

“Well, considering we have about twenty minutes before Papyrus comes down for dinner, why don't we go with an extended short version?” Sans nodded and Grillby sat down next to him, resting his folded arms on the table. “Well, I was feeling very depressed and unhappy. I was under a lot of stress and I wasn't doing too well mentally either. I wasn't seeing a doctor or talking to anyone. I just kept bottling everything up and eventually started feeling suicidal. I had felt suicidal for a year or two and just didn't think it would get any better. So I attempted, a few times actually, obviously none of them were successful.” Sans had a sad look on his face but tried his best to keep it hidden. “So, what answer does that get me?” The skeleton shrugged, glancing down at his arm.

“I made the mark.” Sans started, fingers tracing over the bumpy bone that has been slowly improving with the medication. “He-Gaster, he marked my arm with my name. Well, my uh-his name for me. I hated looking at it so when I left I scratched it out.” Grillby bit back his comments on how 'scratch' was far from what the mark was.

“Guess that's a fair answer. I think there is time for one more before the lasagne has cooled down enough. Want to ask another question?”

“Why were you so depressed? Was it because of the war?” Sans questioned, glancing up at the bedroom door to ensure Papyrus was not coming.

“Yes and no, mainly yes. It's like you said before, war causes a lot of mental problems. I was diagnosed with PTSD once I finally went to see someone about it. But, dealing with it alone can be really...hard.”

“Did you have no one to talk to?”

“Nu uh, my turn.” Grillby pointed out and Sans pouted. “Why doesn't Papyrus also have the mark?”

“He wasn't finished,” Sans answered simply, looking away from the door. “Gaster, he only wanted his name on his completed projects because he didn't want to be associated with failures.” Sans let out a dry laugh at the last word. “Too bad he put his name on the biggest one.”

“Sans, you aren't-”

“I know.” The skeleton stated, cutting the flame monster off. “It's just funny, I guess. Having his pride being damaged by his best work being his biggest failure. He was so narcissistic and arrogant. It's amusing knowing that being alive ruins his name, even if no one remembers. Especially Papyrus, he hated Papyrus.” Sans smirked slightly at how furious Gaster would be knowing his two dirty secrets were free and alive. Showing off to everyone how he was the real failure.

“Did I hear my name? Is dinner ready?” Papyrus called, head poking out of the bedroom.

“It's done. We were just talking about how great you are.” Sans grinned and Papyrus beamed, walking down the stairs. Gaster was crazy for thinking Papyrus was anything less than a miracle. Sans would never understand how someone like Gaster could create a creature as amazing as his brother. Sans would always be thankful that Gaster had made his brother, his one light in his dark world.

“I am pretty great, aren't I?” Sans chuckled, picking up his brother and sitting him down on his lap.

“The greatest.” Sans agreed, pressing a skeletal kiss to the top of Papyrus' head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me. Because I sure as hell missed you. Who knew taking a week off would be so stressful? I kept trying to persuade myself to update somehow instead of chill. Breaks are hard. Although I didn't write as much as I'd like, I'll hopefully try to keep up the schedule but it may end up being every two days. *Shrug* We'll see.
> 
> I hope you all are doing well and had a lovely Valentines day. I spent mine playing Fallout with my cat. To all you GF fans, have your heart's been healed yet? No? Don't worry, mine neither...
> 
> Thank you all so much for the support and everything. You guys are bonkers. Like, 443 kudos? How? Why? I should do something special for 500...Eternal gratitude, guys. 
> 
>  
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or c  
> comments (don't be shy~). I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	18. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gurl Hannah...you alright ;)

“Sans your lunch is on the counter.” Grillby set the lunch down and Sans nodded, mouth full of oatmeal. “Papyrus, are you ready to go?” The fire monster called. Moments later the sound of skeletal feet could be heard pounding down the steps.

“Can I stay home?” Papyrus asked, still in his pajamas.

“You said you wanted to go to work with me,” Grillby replied, recalling Papyrus begging to go to work with him last night.

“Yeah, but I want to stay home now.” Sans pulled the final spoonful of oatmeal out of his mouth and shook his head

“Bro, I don't want you staying home alone.” Papyrus pouted, crossing his arms.

“You did for two weeks!”

“Yeah, but I didn't colour on the walls and drink an entire bottle of honey.” Grillby took the bowl from Sans and set it down in the sink, filling it up with water so the oatmeal wouldn't harden.

“That was one time! I won't do it again.”

“Can't take the chance.”

“Sans!”

“Sans don't antagonize your brother. Papyrus if you really-” Grillby was cut off by a sudden knock on the front door. The three turned and stared, Sans being the first to look away to stare at his guardian. “Sans, get ready to go,” Grillby stated, walking over to the door. The bartender barely got the door opened before it was forced the rest of the way. A green flamed woman stormed in, dropping her bag on the ground.

“Uncle Grillby, what the hell?”

“Fia?!” Grillby exclaimed.

“I called you, like twenty times! First, you never picked up, Dad is in a frenzy by the way. Then, I show up at your bar and wait outside for two hours only to find out you moved. I had to get directions from some guy to your new house and I don't even-” The green flame froze, eyes locked onto the skeleton children. Papyrus took a step forward, but Sans grabbed the back of his shirt. The younger skeleton opened his mouth to speak, but his brother covered it.

“Uh, Fia,” Grillby began, extending a hand to his children. “These are my kids?” Grillby looked at Sans, wondering if the term bothered him but the skeleton just shrugged. “Kids, Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus, Sans, this is my niece Fiora.”

“Hello!” Papyrus yanked Sans' hand away from his mouth.

“Kids?” Fiora mumbled, dragging her attention away to look at her uncle. “Does Dad know about this?” Grillby scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Sans, backpack, now.” Grillby pointed and Sans jumped down and made his way over to his stuff. “I don't need to consult your father on every choice I make, or any choice for that matter.”

“He is really worried. We haven't heard from you in like six months!”

“Yeah, I uh...lost my phone.” Grillby lied, not wanting to say that Papyrus managed to somehow bake it in his cake he made two weeks ago. “I'm really sorry to do this, but I need to take Sans to school. I will be back later to sort this out, but for now, please just stay here and just watch TV or something.” Sans frowned and tugged on Grillby pant leg, nodding his head in the direction of Papyrus.

“She can't stay if Papyrus is staying.” Sans firmly stated.

“Brother, I will be fine! I want to talk to Fiora!”

“Yeah that's great, Pap, but no. Grillby, she has to go.”

“Okay, rude. What the hell is your problem?” Fiora snapped, placing her hand on her hip. Sans glared, not liking the sudden change of tone.

“Sans please, calm down. Fiora, don't curse in front of Papyrus.”

“Uncle Grillby, I can watch the kid. I've babysat before.” Grillby sighed, not having the time to explain the reasons as to why his niece could not be alone with Papyrus.

“Fiora, I am sure you are a fantastic babysitter. This isn't a regular babysitting job, though. Sans, would you like me to call Bonnie and have her watch Papyrus?” Sans clicked his teeth together and nodded. “Fi, let me see your phone.”

One phone call later, Bonnie was waving from the front door as Grillby quickly walked Sans to school. Bonnie turned and shut the door, smiling at Fiora.

“Well, look at you! Just half a year and you have grown so much.” Bonnie pulled the flame into a hug.

“You know Fiora, Bonnie?” Papyrus asked, body radiating excitement about his new friend.

“I've known this flame since she was a just a little spark! How have you been, sweetie?”

“Fine, Bonbon. It's been a bit of a rough morning and all. I didn't know Uncle Grillby moved and uh...got kids? Is he dating someone?” Bonnie snorted and Papyrus gasped loudly.

“Is he?!”

“No! God, could you imagine Grillby in a relationship? I'd pay to see that.” The bunny monster laughed and directed the two over to the couch to sit down. “No, Grillby just uh-found Papyrus and Sans.”

“Found?” Fia repeated, never hearing of someone just finding children. “How do you just find children?”

“Me and my brother use to live outside!” The skeleton announced happily and the flame monster's green body sparked in surprise. “Grillby adopted us when my brother came to him for help because I was sick. Now he's our guardian and we all live together like a family.” Papyrus beamed and Bonnie let out a nervous laugh.

“Yea, that's the story. Did Grillby not tell you guys? I know his phone is broken, but it's only been two weeks since then.”

“How long has he had them?!” Fiora demanded, outraged her uncle had kept this a secret.

“Since December, I think.” Bonnie thought and she winced as Fiora's flame grew, heating up the room.

“Ugh, he always does this! The least he could do is tell my mom! Dad has been worried sick about him. I had to force him to stay home so he wouldn't come and destroy the entire town looking for him! He can be so inconsiderate at times, I swear.”

“Fia, you know those two don't get along too well. I'm sure the last thing he wanted was for his brother to freak out over this. You know he can be a little overdramatic.”

“Grillby has a brother?!” Papyrus shouted, sockets wide. “What's his name? What's he like? Is he like Sans? Why don't they get along? Brothers should always get along. Me and Sans get along great! Did something happen? Why don't they-” Bonnie placed a paw over Papyrus' mouth.

“Please, Papyrus you know it's not right to talk about other people's business. Why don't you go get that colouring book I bought for you and we can colour together until Grillby gets back?” Easily distracted, Papyrus nodded and ran off. Bonnie took this opportunity to lean close to Grillby's niece, voice low as she spoke. “Grillby has been under a lot of stress these past few months and the last thing he needs is your father down his neck. I'm not sure if you really got to meet Sans or not, but he is a handful. Sweet kid, darling angel, he really is, but he has been through some extremely traumatic experiences and is prone to panic attacks and a lot of other things as well. Sans and Papyrus have taken up all of Grillby's time and energy. I have never seen your uncle happier, I really haven't. And knowing the relationship your father and him have, it will destroy that happiness.”

“I still don't understand, why he didn't call? If he's so happy, why didn't he just send a single text over says he's okay?”

“Honeybun, listen, I understand where you are coming from. I really do. He should have sent something. But, I also understand why he didn't. What would your father do if he found out Grillby just adopted two kids? I'll tell you, Fi, he would be over here in seconds scolding Grillby on his reckless behavior and well, that wouldn't end too well for a couple of reasons. One being your uncle would most likely end up punching your father in his face and two being that Sans might attack your father. He can be a little overprotective when it comes to things he cares about. But this is all beside the point. Grillby is happy and safe, you can let your father know this. I won't say any more than I already have, but I assure you that Grillby had a reason not to tell you. I'm sure once he gets home he will tell you all about it.” Bonnie patted Fiora's knee, offering her a smile.

When Grillby returned home, though, he had to quickly go open up the bar. He said goodbye to Bonnie and took both Papyrus and Fia to the bar and opened it up. Papyrus sat at his booth with his colouring book while Fiora helped Grillby out with the customers. A few hours passed before Fiora finally spoke up.

“Okay, so are we going to talk at all because Bonnie said some stuff and I'm really curious?” Grillby rolled his eyes, setting the drink down on the counter for the customer.

“What did she tell you?” That bunny had no concept of privacy.

“Nothing really, just that you were happy, had your reasons for not telling us, said a few things about Sans and Papyrus,” Fiora smiled at the customer, handing them a bottle of ketchup.

“Damnit, Bonnie.”

“So, talk?”

“Okay, look, I'm positive Papyrus already told you about them because that's how he introduced himself at this point, so I'll spare you the story on them. All you need to know right now is that they live with me in the house and I am their guardian. If it's okay with you, you will be staying at the bar unless you want to sleep on the couch.”

“I'll take the couch. This place is creepy at night.”

“Fine, take the couch. But I need you to listen to me very carefully.” Grillby waited until the two monsters closest to the flame monsters left before continuing. “Do not approach Papyrus alone or without consent. Please do not try to touch either of them without their say. And please, for the love of lava, do not ask them about their past. Sans is very unstable and is triggered very easily, so just do as I ask and it'll be fine. Also, don't egg him on or antagonize him. He is very rude and is easily threatened. He doesn't mean to be and is getting better, but he will fight you if you threaten him.”

“Uncle Grillby, what the hell. The kid needs help!” The niece hissed, glancing at Papyrus' warily.

“Fia, you have no idea how hard I have been working to get him help. Seriously, no idea. He used to be a lot worse. Which is why I do not want you mentioning a word to your parents about them. The last thing I want is for your father to come down and ruin all their hard work.” Grillby stated, picking up a glass to clean.

“What the hell happened? Bonnie said he had some traumatic experience?”

“Yes, he did. I can't talk about it because he doesn't like others to knows, especially Papyrus. Do not tell Papyrus any of this, by the way, please if you listen to anything I say make sure this is number one. He stays out of all our talks, period.” Grillby waited until his niece nodded to continue. “But yes, Sans has been through a very rough patch and it's getting over it. So if he looks like he is panicked or anxious, just back away slowly and get Papyrus. If you have any problem at all with Sans, the solution is always to get Papyrus. Even if I am home, Papyrus first, then me.” Grillby stressed.

“Yeah, okay, I get it. Keep the skeletons together. Jeez, I didn't want to talk about them. I could honestly care less. You got kids, cool, whatever. I want to know why you haven't called and why you think it's okay to let Dad worry like that!”

“Fia, you know your father overreacts.”

“It's been seven months!” Fiora proclaimed, voice a bit too loud for Grillby's liking.

“Did you tell him anything?” Grillby whispered, trying to get his niece to calm down.

“That you were alive, yes I did. Perhaps you can give him a call.” Grillby flamed head flickered.

“No thanks, I'll trust you can keep him informed.”

“Uncle Grillby please, this is childish.” The green flame crossed her arms, unimpressed.

“Kid, please, don't even.”

“He is your brother!”

“So?”

“Oh my god, I'm telling Mom,” Fiora announced, pulling out her phone.

“You are such a tattletale,” Grillby grumbled, unable to win against his niece. She had too much stubbornness in her body, most likely from her mother.

“You are five, I swear.”

“Fucking hell. Fine, Fiora! I'll call them. I will even visit them if that's would make you happy.”

“Yes, yes it would.” His niece smiled, body a solid green.

“Fine! Sans gets out of school this week. Give me some time to tell them and I will go down to make it up for not telling you. I'm doing this for you and maybe your mother, just know that.”

“Great, I can't wait to tell them the news.” Grillby was silent as he cleaned off the mug. When he calmed down, he turned back to his niece and frowned.

“I don't really have to go right?”

“If you don't, I'm telling Mom.”

“I'd rather you call your dad. At least I can tell him off-wait, what are you doing?” The green flame furiously tapped against her phone screen.

“Texting mom. I already let her know you are coming down. I'm telling her you'll call--is tomorrow good?”

“Ugh.” Grillby groaned, resting his head against the counter.

“Tomorrow it is.” Fiora nodded, smiling as she texted away. Grillby loved his niece, he really did. They two spent every summer together working at the bar. It's great bonding time and quite honestly one of the only times Grillby can be around his family without wanting to jump into a river. Fiora's mother was a sweet flame, and Grillby enjoyed her company as well, but her husband, Grillby's brother...The bartender’s mood was ruined just thinking about him. Now knowing he was going to have to call him and visit him, Grillby felt like digging his own grave.

This was going to be a long week. Between dealing with his two children and his teenage, almost adult, niece, Grillby wouldn't have a moment to himself. He wouldn't have time to prepare himself for his brother's disappointment and judgmental nature.

The rest of his day was spent dealing with his niece's sass and Papyrus' questions. Grillby all but ran out of the door to pick up Sans from school, telling Fiora to lock up and take Papyrus home.

“Is she still there?” Sans asked as they walked home, holding Grillby's hand.

“Yes, she is.”

“Why? Why did she even come down?”

“It's my fault, I forgot to tell you guys. I've just been so busy with you and Pap that I... Fia, she comes down every summer. It used to be for only two weeks, but since she was old enough to work she's stayed for longer and helped out around the bar. I give her some extra gold for helping and then in late July she leaves.”

“Late July?! That's two months practically!” Sans already wasn't a fan of Grillby's niece. He did not want to have to share his guardian with her for two months.

“Yeah, I know. I don't plan on letting her stay that long. It's nice seeing her and all but you two just won't work in the same house. I'd love to have her stay, but you two take priority right now. I plan on sending her back in a week or so while I visit my brother in Hotland.” Grillby informed, spotting their house up ahead.

“You have a brother?” Sans asked, halting in his movement.

“Yes, I have a brother. Keep moving, I'll answer all your questions with Papyrus. I've avoided his questions long enough. I'll tell you about him and whatever else you want to know together.” Sans nodded, walking a bit faster to get home.

Once home, Sans tossed off his jacket and backpack and greeted Papyrus warmly. Fiora was on the couch watching some program and Grillby hoped Sans wouldn't notice he allowed the two to stay together without Bonnie.

“Okay, both of you sit down, we are getting the questions out of the way.” The children ran to the table and sat down right next to each other waiting for Grillby to sit down before firing their questions.

“Who's your brother? Do you have any other siblings?” They asked in unison.

“No, I only have a brother. His name is Flint and he is Fiora's father. He is seven years older than me and lives in Hotland with Fiora's mother Sulfi.”

“Why did you never tell us about them before?” Sans questioned, glancing over to the green flame that stuck her head in the fridge.

“Never came up. My brother and I don't really get along too well so I never bring him up without being asked.” Grillby admitted and the brothers frowned.

“Why don't you get along? Brothers always get along!” Papyrus stated naively.

“Not always, kiddo. We both tolerate each both and work better at a distance.” Fiora closed the fridge door, making a sound of a disapproval.

“Not always, Dad told me you two used to be really close.” Fiora chimed in, opening up a can of soda. Sans sockets narrowed slightly, disliking that Fiora knew information about his guardian that he didn't.

“Yeah, we were, but stuff happens and people change. We don't get along anymore.” The bartender told his niece.

“Why?” Papyrus asked, instantly and Grillby cursed his niece for opening her mouth.

“Because, we don't Papyrus,” Grillby stated, changing the subject. “I plan on taking a trip up to see them with Fiora a few days after you get out of school, Sans. You two are going to be staying with Bonnie until-”

“I want to come!” Papyrus shouted, eyes sparkling.

“Kid, it's pretty heated where they live. I'm not too sure you and Sans can handle it.” Papyrus and Sans shared the same disapproving look. Papyrus wanting to visit Grillby's secret family while Sans did not want Grillby to be alone with Fiora.

“I can ask Mom to turn down the heat. All you have to do is keep them out of the lava.” Fiora leaned against the wall, idly looking over her hand, biting back a smirk.

“Fiora, you are one comment away from sleeping in the bar,” Grillby warned and Sans clicked his teeth together. Grillby sounded so parental. Grillby never acted like a father or parent to Sans and Papyrus. He was always more of a guardian, never grounding them or acting like any of the other parents both children have seen. So why was he acting like it with Fiora? Sans passed a knowing look to Papyrus who returned a similar one.

“We want to go!” The skeletons announced.

“What's it like?” Papyrus asked, looking more at Fiora than Grillby. “Do you live in lava? Are your houses on fire? Are your houses made of lava and fire?”

“It's a regular house, Papyrus,” Grillby informed.

“Not true, some houses are on fire.” Fiora piped in. “They are built to withstand it, though. We live in the outer area of the residential section. That means we are closer to the lava and more likely to suffer from random fires and whatnot. But it rarely happens, most fires of caused by the monsters themselves. I don't even remember the last time our house caught fire.” The green flame said, taking a sip of her drink.

“Probably when you were little, you always tried to bring magma into the house for some reason,” Grillby recalled and his niece nodded in agreement.

“I thought I could make a real lava lamp.” Sans let out a loud laugh, quickly covering his mouth to stifle his giggles.

“That's so stupid.” He snorted, Fiora rolling her eyes.

“Well, I'm sure you did a lot of dumb things too.”

“Maybe, but not as dumb as that. It wouldn't even work. You'd need some type of quartz glass or maybe Sapphire to contain the lava, but it would be too thick and lack enough transparency to be able to see it move. All that would happen is the Sapphire would light up and the lava would cool down and then your light show would be over after a few minutes. Then you'd have to deal with the after effect of the lava letting out chemicals which would probably end up exploding the house.” Sans chuckled. Papyrus stared at his brother amazed while Fiora looked unimpressed, Grillby just shook his head.

“I think it's a wonderful idea!” The younger skeleton admitted and Fiora looked smug. Sans just shrugged, smiling at his brother.

“Well, if you think it is, bro. Maybe it's not a bad idea after all.” The smug look turned into a scowl.

“This kid's asking for a fight,” Fiora grumbled, but Grillby gave his niece a warning look.

“Sans stop antagonizing her. I don't want anyone fighting. Sans, apologize to Fiora.” Sans looked appalled. Apologize?

“For what? I didn't do anything!”

“For being a smart ass.” Sans pouted, crossing his arms. He didn't do anything wrong! All he did was tell Grillby's dumb niece her real life lava lamp idea was impractical and impossible. Why should he have to apologize? Sans remained silent and Grillby frowned.

“Wow, kid. Bet you made a lot of friends with that award winning personality.” Fiora stated sarcastically. Sans glared, his teeth grinding together at the comment.

“Now who's asking for a fight?” Sans snarled and Fiora's green body flickered blue.

“I'm just stating facts like you. Don't dish out what you can't take.” Sans' eyes narrowed, grip tightening on his jacket.

“You are about to start a war you can't win. So take you own advice, and back off.” Sans growled watching Fiora's flame heat up and turn a sky blue.

“As if I'm low enough to fight some eight-year-old. Sorry kid, but I'd rather not get in trouble for smoking a child.” Sans left eye was blazing but Fiora ignored it and stood her ground.

A challenge. A fight. Sans had to take the bait, he had to win. He was going to win. It didn't matter who she was related to. Sans was going to break her.

 **“Douse out the light,”** Sans smirked, for once willingly agreeing with his insanity.

“I am going to blow that pretty green flame of your out.” Fiora readied herself and Sans eye sparked, preparing to attack.

“Stop it, both of you!” Grillby shouted, slamming his hand on the table to get both of their attention. Sans flinched at the sound, curling into himself, magic vanishing. “Fiora, I told you about this. Act like the adult you are about to be. I don't care what he says or does. You let me handle it. And Sans, you need to stop this right now. I will not allow you to continue to be rude to my niece. I'm already giving up time with her for yours and Papyrus' sake, so the least you could do is make the time I have left with her enjoyable. You two need to get along and both of you apologize to each other right now.” Grillby demanded, being the most parental he has ever been before. Papyrus stared at him with an open mouth, shocked at the sudden change. Fiora appeared to be used to this Grillby and she muttered something under her breath before apologizing.

“I'm sorry, Sans.” She grumbled. Sans' teeth clicked together, body debating on the apology. His order taking nature wanted to obey Grillby and apologize instantly, begging for forgiveness while pleading for Grillby to spare him. Sans newly developed unstable side had other plans, wanting nothing more than to tell them both off and leave the house. He debated each side, his fear battling his insanity in an attempt to decide who would take over. Grillby said he didn't want Sans to obey his every order, right? Sans was allowed to rebel, to speak up. Grillby liked it when Sans was independent. He didn't like pathetic Sans who only groveled and begged, no one did. No, Sans didn't have to apologize. He didn't want to! If Grillby was giving up so much time to be with them, then he could spend every second with her for all he cared! Sans wasn't good company anyways, everyone knew this. This whole fight was his fight, he should apologize, but he'd be damned if he was going to. No, Sans was hurt and furious and he'd let everyone know it. Grillby said to speak his mind and Sans planned on screaming.

“Sans, apologize,” Grillby repeated and the skeleton turned to him, giving him a dirty look.

“No,” Sans said and the bartender's flame rose slightly before it flickered in agitation.

“Apologize to Fiora, Sans.”

“Bite me.” Papyrus gasped, giving his brother a worried look.

“Sans, you are being mean. Why won't you guys apologize to Fiora?”

“Kid, you are not leaving this table until you apologize.” Sans hated how the fire element sounded. He was acting like a parent like he was their father. Grillby wasn't anything but their caretaker before Fiora came. Now he acts like their dad. Why? Why hadn't he acted like that before? Why had Fiora managed to unlock this side of Grillby when Sans and Papyrus were his children! They should have had this side of him opened up by now. Unless-…. Unless Grillby didn't want that. Yea, of course. Grillby was their caretaker, that's it. He had a family and it wasn't Sans or Papyrus. The skeleton didn't understand how he led himself to believe he was anything more. Grillby obviously favoured Fiora, family always came first. Sans was second-no, third, he wasn't better than Papyrus. Why did he feel so angry about this? He should have always known. This should be surprising? This shouldn't feel like this. Why did he feel so hot and frustrated? He didn't care. He didn't care! Sans didn't-he don't...

“Uncle Grillby, come on. It's fine, the kid looks like he's about to blow his top.” Fiora said, but Grillby stood his ground.

“No, Sans has to apologize. He cannot continue to be rude to you and get away with it. You are a guest and my family and I will not allow him to treat you like-”

“We're family too!” Sans cried unknowingly. So that's what it was. Jealously. Sans was jealous. Jealous of Fiora for knowing Grillby better than he did. Jealous of their bond. Jealous that she got to see Grillby in a light he'd never be able to gaze upon. He wasn't mad, he was just jealous. The skeleton turned a dark shade of blue and pushed against the table, knocking his chair against the wall. He stood up and stormed out of the room. The bedroom door slammed shut and Papyrus shot up from his seat, rushing after his brother.

“Sans? Sans! Open the door Sans!” Papyrus begged, knocking against the door that Sans had locked. “Brother please, unlock-” A soft click sound was heard and Papyrus entered the room, shutting the door behind him. Grillby stared up at the door, his previous anger fading and turning into regret.

“Shit.” He cursed, standing up, but Fiora grabbed his arm, hue a bit darker in concern.

“I think you should let him cool off.” His niece instructed and Grillby frowned and let out a long sigh. The bartender sat back down and rested his face in his palm, groaning quietly to himself. After all their hard work, after finally getting Sans to open up and start talking about getting help, Grillby had to blow it.

“I fucked up so bad,” Grillby muttered and Fiora patting his back, attempting to comfort her uncle.

“I'm sure it's not that bad, Uncle Grillby. Just a little jealousy fit. I'm sure he'll be over it in no time.”

“Fi, I appreciate the sentiment, I really do, but I cannot even begin to explain how badly I messed up.” Fiora just continued to rub Grillby's back, unsure of what else to do or say.

Papyrus was in a similar situation upstairs. He sat on the bed, hugging a giant pile of blankets that was his brother.

“You wouldn't understand, Pap,” San said from his fortress of blankets.

“Then help me understand.” Papyrus retorted, squeezing his brother. “You are not acting like yourself. Do you not like Fiora?”

“No. Yes…I don't know,” Sans muttered, leaning into his brother's warm hug. “I don't like what she is doing. You noticed it too, right? Grillby is acting differently. He's acting like a father, but because of Fiora. How come he never acts like that towards us? Why is she so special?”

“Brother I think you are jealous of Fiora.” Sans didn't reply. “But why? Grillby cares about us a lot. I don't understand why you feel the need to be jealous of her. Do you want Grillby to act like a father to us?”

“No, I want him to go back to how he was. He's choosing her side over mine just because they are family, but we are a family too! He just cares more about his related family than us.” Papyrus shook his head, patting what he assumed was his brother's head.

“That is not true, brother. Grillby cares about us equally. Even if he did care about Fiora more, you do the same thing. You care about me more than you do Grillby.” Sans made a small hole in the blanket to peer out of.

“You are my brother.” Papyrus peeked into the hole.

“And Fiora is his niece.” Sans covered the small opening. He hated that Papyrus was making sense. He just wanted to be jealous and pout, but his brother's warm soul was not allowing it. “Sans, you should really apologize to Fiora. She didn't mean to make Grillby act differently. She only retaliated like you do. Grillby isn't taking anyone’s side, you know this.”

“He always agreed with me before! He never made me apologize to anyone. Not when I attacked him, not when I was mean to Bonnie, not when I was mean to Asgore, not once! He was always on my side before.”

“You were never this purposefully mean before. You are mad because Grillby is not choosing you over Fiora, but you know he is choosing no one. He made Fiora apologize as well.”

“Pap, no you don't get it. So what if she apologized? Grillby said he was giving up time to be with her because of us. He enjoys her more! He blames us- me! He acts fatherly with Fiora but not us! He never even tried to! We are his kids! We are the ones he should act like that with! But no, he never tried to act like a dad. He probably never thought about us that way! We are just his problems, his burden! He takes care of us out of some obligation and pity. He doesn't- He doesn't care.” The skeleton's voice cracked. Sans felt tears fill his sockets and quickly wipes them away.

They were Grillby's children, not Fiora. Grillby should act like a dad to them. Sans and Papyrus should have unlocked this side to their guardian, not Fiora. Not unless Grillby didn't care about them like that. No, Grillby didn't see them like that. He may have called them a family, but they far from what a real family was. Grillby didn't want a family like them, but Sans didn't need him. He had Papyrus, his only family. The only family he'd ever need.

“Sans, I wish you could see how wrong you are,” Papyrus said, no longer patting and rubbing him but instead just resting his hand on his brother's back. “I wish you would see clearly, without your jealousy getting in the way. I hope once you've calmed down that you will take back what you said and apologize. But if you don't, that's okay. I will be here, no matter what.” Sans tears began to spill.

“P-Pap please, I want to be alone.” The younger skeleton shook his head, lifting the blanket so he could crawl under and get to his brother.

“I will not leave you alone, but I will be quiet so that you can pretend to be.” Sans sniffed and nodded, rolling over so he could hold onto Papyrus. Within minutes, the older skeleton's jealousy and sorrow were numbed and he nuzzled his skull against his brothers.

“This isn't fair,” Sans muttered and Papyrus smiled, orange hands resting over his brother's soul.

“It's payback for all the games of tag you cheated at.” Sans' face broke out into a grin that the tried to hide with a loud groan.

“No, stop. Let me be upset!” Papyrus giggled, reaching a hand out of the blankets to knock against the bed.

“Knock knock,” Sans grunted, shaking his head.

“Nu-uh.”

“Knock knock,” Papyrus repeated, tapping the wood once more.

“Pap, no.”

“Knock knock,” Sans whined, giving in.

“Who's there?”

“Who.”

“Who who?”

“I didn't know you were an owl.” Sans snorted, grin growing as Papyrus giggled. The older skeleton reached his hand out as well, knocking against the bed.

“Knock knock.”

“Who's there?”

“Canoe.” Sans rested his forehead against his brother's.

“Canoe who?”

“Canoe forgive me for being such a butthead?” Papyrus beamed, tackling his brother and pulling him into a tight embrace.

“Knock knock!” He repeated and Sans laughed, snuggling his brother.

“Come in,” Papyrus whined and Sans snickered.

“Sans no, I am telling a joke!”

“Hello, Telling a Joke. I am Sans. Have you seen my cute baby brother Papyrus? He's shorter than me and brighter too. He is a skeleton like me but just between you and me, I think his bones are way cooler than mine. He's a pretty amazing guy, my brother. But I think I know how to find him.”

“How?” Papyrus asked, playing along.

“Well, you see, my brother is pretty amazing. The greatest guy I know, to be honest. He's pretty magnificent, but he does have one weakness. You see, my brother is real, really, ticklish right around...here!” The small skeleton let out a shriek as his brother tickled his ribs.

“Brother, no! Stop!” Papyrus squealed, unable to stop the tickle assault. Sans laughed with him, picking his brother up and peppering his face with skeletal kisses.

“Hey bro,” The skeleton called, setting Papyrus on his chest.

“What?”

“I love you,” Papyrus smiled, wrapping his arms around Sans neck.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter ready to go and post like "Awesome, let's post this shit, yea!!!" But realized I had to wait another day? I could have swore two days had passed, what the fuck. What even is time...
> 
> I'm a bit worried about this chapter because of the pacing? You all constantly tell me how great the pacing is and what not but not when I feel like it's all junked up I panic like "I never knew what I was doing before, but now they'll know!!!" I thought about cutting it off at the part were Papyrus begins to comfort Sans because it felt like too much has happened and it was just being solved too quickly...Hope it's okay.
> 
> Thanks for all the support. You guys are swell.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or c  
> comments (don't be shy~). I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	19. Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs to get themselves a Hannah, they are nice and keep you company when you eat a large order of pho and enter a food coma.
> 
>  
> 
> [ Papa Grill, yo. Still can't stop laughing at that...](http://excessively-english-little-b.tumblr.com/post/139593894180/more-undertale-doodles-this-time-inspired-by)

After a few hours, Grillby finally knocked on the bedroom door. His orange flame was low and a darker shade of orange than usual. He expected no response, however when the door opened he stepped back, hands clenching nervously at his side. Papyrus stepped out of the room and smiled up at Grillby, closing the door behind him. A lock sound was heard the second the door was shut. 

“Sans would like to pout for a bit longer,” Papyrus confessed. A loud bang sounded as an item was launched at the door. Papyrus just continued to smile as he patted Grillby's arm in a sign of comfort. “Don't worry, he just likes being dramatic.” Another loud bang shook the door and Papyrus giggled before walking away. Grillby watched the door for a few moments before allowing Sans some time alone. Sans let out a sigh of relief when he heard the footsteps retreating.

He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was being dramatic. He just wanted time alone to pretend everything was someone else's fault and not his own until he buried his bitterness away. Then, he'd crawl out of bed and apologize to Grillby and Fiora. Sans, of course, decided to do that at exactly three in the morning.

He had stayed in his room the rest of the day and had missed dinner because he was being too stubborn to leave his room. So once he figured everyone would be asleep, he peeled Papyrus off him and left their bedroom to get a snack. He paused outside, making sure Grillby's door was closed and no one was in the bathroom before he walked over to the railing. Sans frowned, noticing Fiora sleeping on the couch. Thankfully she was facing away from him, but Sans wasn't going to take any chances. Covering his eye to hide the soft glow it illuminated, he teleported to the kitchen. He landed with a soft thud and froze, watching Fiora to see if she awoke. Noticing her fast asleep, he opened the fridge and quietly shuffled around for something quick to eat. Sans eventually settled for slices of bread and a banana, too nervous to heat up any food. Devouring the food, the skeleton poked his head back out of the kitchen.

He really should apologize.

Swallowing the last piece of bread, Sans made his way over to Fiora. Sans stood in front of the couch, wondering how she hadn't woken up yet. Didn't she feel him near? Did she not hear him? Maybe Sans was just a light sleeper still. Taking a deep breath, the skeleton gently tapped the couch cushion.

“Hey.” No response. Sans groaned, tapping the couch once more. “Hey!” Sans clicked his teeth together and nudged the flame’s shoulder. “Fiora.” The green flame grunted, yanking the covers over her shoulder. “Fiora!” Sans hissed and she slowly rolled over, eyes closed. Slowly she opened her eyes and came face to face with Sans' black empty sockets and small white pupils watching her. Noticing the flame’s mouth begin to form and open, Sans covered her mouth to stifle the shriek she let out. Her green flame jumped, almost touching the ceiling, her body temperature rose too quickly and burned Sans' right hand. Yanking his hand away, the skeleton cradled it against his chest, suppressing the cry of pain he wanted to let out.

“Sans?” Fiora whispered, green flame casting a soft light she used to see the skeleton. “What the hell! You scared the shit out of me.” Noticing the hand the skeleton held, she leaned closer. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, 'm fine,” Sans mumbled, glancing at the scorch marks. He just clenched his right hand directed his attention back to the fire element. “...I'm sorry.” Fiora remained quiet for a few seconds, face blank. Sans wondered if he should have waited until he returned home from school to apologize, deciding that three in the morning isn't the best time for apologies.

“Apology accepted.” Sans' sockets widened slightly and the green flame extended her left hand out to the skeleton. Sans' gaze shifted between the two, slowly he extended his left hand out. “I knew it. Let me see your hand.”

“It's fine,” Sans grumbled hiding it, but Fiora wasn't having it. She stood up and nudged Sans in the direction of the kitchen.

 “Move.” Sans scowled slightly but followed her demands and walked to the kitchen. Fiora turned on the faucet and picked Sans up. He let out a small squeak, uncomfortable with being held by her, however, Fiora did not seem to care. “Hand under the water,” Sans growled not liking her tone but he complied. The skeleton uncurled his hand and stuck it under the running water. The cold tap felt amazing against the burning bone. The child leaned close, gripping the counter with his free hand to steady himself.

“...Thank you.”

“Don't mention it.” A few moments of comfortable silence passed before Grillby's niece turned off the water. She set Sans down but grabbed his arm and carefully inspected the burn. “Does Grillby have something for this?” Sans nodded.

“In the bathroom, I have stuff.” Fiora nodded and took the skeleton’s good hand and led him upstairs and into the bathroom. She sat Sans down on the toilet, closing the lid first before she began searching through the cabinets. Sans pointed to the purple ointment and she handed it to him, searching for some type of bandage. 

“Apply that yourself, my hands might be too hot. I'm not sure if I should bandage it considering you don't have skin. Do you normally bandage your wounds?” Sans shrugged, rubbing the medicine on his hand. 

“I've never had a burn treated before.” Gaster had never treated Sans's wounds unless they ran the risk of infection or contamination. The burn marks he caused were always minimal, or at least he thought they were. Then again, everything seemed minimal compared to the determination.

“Then what did you do for those scorch marks on your neck?” Sans yanked his hood up, covering his neck.

“Nothing.” The flame closed the cabinet, setting some wrappings down on the counter.

“Fine, I'll bandage it to be safe. You done? Let me see your hand.” Sans held out his right hand and Fiora began to carefully apply the bandage.

 “It's too loose.” Sans pointed out but Fiora shook her head.

 “It's supposed to be, genius. If you wrap burns too tightly the bandage will rub it and apply to much pressure to the injury. Trust me, kid. I'm made of fire, I think I know how to treat fire injuries.” Sans shut his mouth and allowed Fiora to wrap his hand in peace.

“Fi?” A tired voice called, approaching the bathroom. “You having trouble sleep-” Grillby stepped into view and stilled looking over the scene. His exhaustion vanished as he noticed the bandaged hand. “What happened?” He demanded. 

“Chill, Uncle Grillby, he's fine. I just burnt his hand by accident.” Fiora confessed, ripping the bandage and tucking the loose end away.

“You what?” The bartender snapped. 

“Cool down there, hot shot. He scared me and I accidentally burnt him. It was an accident, he's fine.”

“Why didn't you get me?” Grillby inquired, stepping close to Sans to look over the bandaged hand. “Are you okay?” Sans hid in his hoodie, a bit uncomfortable with Grillby so close. He hadn't apologized or explained himself. Grillby should be mad at him. Grillby should be furious but he wasn't.

“Fine,” Sans muttered, eyes looking everywhere else but at him.

“Did you-”

“Run it under cold but not freezing water? Yes. I applied some stuff Sans said to use and wrapped it. I'm pretty sure I can take care of a simple burn.” The orange flame nodded, directing his attention back to Sans, who found the floor very interesting.

“Can you not sleep? Are you hungry? You missed dinner, do you want me to heat something up?” Sans shook his head, trying and failing to remain still. He should apologize to him. Tell him what's wrong. Tell him what happened. Talk to him. Open up to him. Grillby wanted to help. Grillby would help.

“I had a snack. I just came down...to...apologize.” Sans confessed and Grillby looked surprised.

“Oh...Thank you for apologizing.” The skeleton nodded, rubbing his arm. Tomorrow. He'd do it tomorrow. He was too nervous to talk tonight.

“I-I'm gonna go to bed. 'M tired.” Sans announced, standing up and shifting past the two flames. “Uh-Night. And, I'm sorry...again.” Sans scurried off and the two flames remained in the bathroom listening as the bedroom door closed. Fiora put away the wrapping, allowing Grillby to stand in the bathroom, collecting his thoughts.

“Want me to leave the light on or are you going to stand there all day?” Grillby snapped out of his daze and looked over at his niece. 

“Did he really apologize to you first?”

“Yep.”

“Did he seem okay? Nothing was wrong?” For Sans to apologize this quickly and by his own choice...was odd.

“I don't know, I guess? He still glared and acted stubbornly. Can I go to bed?”

“Yes, sorry. Get some sleep.” Fiora nodded and walked off back to bed. Grillby turned off the light and walked over to the children's room. His hand hovered over the metal knob for a few moments before he took in a deep breath and tried to turn it. To his surprise, it opened and as quietly as he could, the flame pushed it open a few inches to peer inside. He noticed the large lump in the bed under the sheet and let out the breath he was holding. Closing the door, he made his way to his own room, opening up the door and pausing when he noticed the abnormal lump in his bed. Backtracking to his children's bedroom, he walked over to the bed and pulled the sheets back and found the shape to be pillows. Glancing at the empty top bunk, a small smile tugged on at the corners of Grillby's mouth.

Pretending he was unaware of the pillows, Grillby returned to his room and partially closed the door. He laid down in the bed, paying no attention to the lump hiding under his covers. The fire element situated himself, his back to the shape and closed his eyes. After several long, silent minutes, Grillby heard the sheets rustle and felt the fabric being pulled down. A few more minutes passed before the shape inched closer and then stopped. The shape moved over another inch before pausing to ensure Grillby was still 'asleep' before moving once more. The lump pressed against Grillby's back and stopped, pulling the covers back over itself. Now Grillby waited for the shape he knew to be his child to fall asleep before he cautiously lifted the covers enough to spot the sleeping skeleton, face buried in his younger brother. Letting out of soft chuckle, he covered them back and up rested. 

Grillby woke up the next morning with multiple skeletal limbs surrounding him. He somehow ended up in the middle of the bed and Papyrus, even more mysteriously, wound up to the left of him. His small limbs were wrapped around Grillby's arm like a sloth while half of Sans was laying on top of him, face resting on his shoulder as Grillby's arm wrapped itself around his waist. Every ounce of magic in him begged the fire element to not move and allow the two children to sleep and be adorable, but he knew Sans had to go to school. Moving his arm to rub at Sans' back, the skeleton began to stir.

“Kiddo, you got to wake up. You got to school.” The skeleton whined and clung onto his guardian.

“It's review, I know it. It's boring...”

“Probably, but you have to go. Come on, wake up.” Sans groaned but peeled open his sockets. Half open, they peered around, spotting Papyrus before resting on the person he was laying on top of. His brow bone furrowed as his gaze traveled up to Grillby's face. The wheels in his skull began to spin, wondering how he ended up here. As the memories washed over him, he jolted up from the bed, scrambling to stand up and managing to get his leg tangled in the sheets. He fell to the ground with a grunt, leg trapped.

 “'M fine!” He stated, kicking his leg free. He stood up and swiftly made his way over to the door. “I'm fine, I'll get ready.” He said before leaving. Grillby sighed and untangled Papyrus from him, the skeleton still fast asleep, and got up. He got dressed and went downstairs, quietly preparing breakfast for Sans so he wouldn't wake his sleeping niece. Sans came down once ready and stuffed his lunch into his backpack, sitting down at the table. His right hand was fidgeting in his pocket, fingers twirling around the bandage that no longer needed to be applied to his hand. The skeleton took a bite of toast, a bit apprehensive to ask Grillby for help with it. Thankfully his guardian was as observant as always.

“Your hand okay?” Sans swallowed the bread, nodding.

 “It's fine. Just-uh, needs- I uh- couldn't...” Sans squeezed his eyes shut, breathing deeply for a few moments to calm himself down. He carefully removed his hand and set down the wrapping he had in a death grip. Without a word, Grillby pulled the chair closer and folded out the bandage before taking Sans' hand. He examined the grayish scorch marks. They were far from being life-threatening burns. In fact, Grillby questioned if they even needed to be wrapped. It was more of a rug burn against skin than a third-degree burn. The bartender wondered if Sans was aware of this. Although he wasn't too educated on healing medical injuries, Grillby was aware that Sans has had multiple levels of burns and was most definitely able to tell the difference between them. Still, the fire element ignored this fact and wrapped the hand, knowing the skeleton most likely had his own reasoning for it.

“There,” Grillby announced, tucking the loose end away before grabbing the empty plate and setting it in the sink. “Ready to go?” Sans nodded, backpack slung over one shoulder and hoodie zipped up. Grillby wrapped a scarf around the skeleton before the two began their walk. They both were quiet, Sans’ eyes cast downward while Grillby looked ahead, both silently panicking and struggling to form a conversation. Sans eventually lifted his left hand and held it out, eyes glued to the ground. The bartender noticed the offered hand and took it, holding it as they walked.

“G…Grillby?” Sans voiced, spotting the school in the distance. He had to be brave, he needed to speak up. He didn't want another awkward walk home and he didn't want Fiora and Papyrus around when they talked. He just had to bring it up. He just had to mention it. The jealousy, his feelings, what he felt and...and heard…

 “Yes?” Grillby asked, noticing Sans' pace slow down. The skeleton looked a bit lost in thought, but the pressure added to Grillby's hand showed that he was still with him.

 “I'm sorry about yesterday.”

 “It's fine, Sans. I shouldn't have gotten mad. You apologized and I am very thankful that you did. I was not expecting you to so soon, but I'm happy you did. I'm sorry for making you upset.” The skeleton shook his head.

 “No, it was justified. I-I was rude and not...myself. I apologized because I felt bad and I was-...I didn't tell you.” The passed the second to the final street, the school was in sight. Sans had to do it. He could do it. Just say it. Deep breath, calm. Help. Grillby would help. Communicate. Communication was key.

 “Didn't tell me what?” Grillby' squeezed Sans' hand back in reassurance.

“How-How I felt and-and what I...” Sans stopped at the final street and looked up at Grillby with wide and sad pupils. “I heard the voice again.”

Grillby felt as if an arctic wind had just blown him out. How could he not have noticed? Was it his fault? Did he cause this somehow? Was Sans really that upset? He seemed distraught but not as bad as before. Was he getting worse? What if Sans hadn't told him? He would have just dropped him off at school like any other day totally oblivious his child's pain. No, Sans told him. Sans still trusted him. Sans wanted help, he told Grillby so he could help him. The bartender was not about to just drop his kid off at school after this. No, he was going to be a parent and help him.

“What's your first class?”

 “Calculous, why?” Sans looked a bit confused as he answered. Grillby squeezed his hand and made a left, avoiding the school.

 “Good, you won't need to catch up then. We are getting you some nice cream. Two scoops-no three, however, many you want. You are getting something special.”

“Why?” Grillby stopped and spun around. He crouched down to Sans' level and pulled him into a hug.

 “Because I thought I really fucked up, Sans. I thought I ruined everything but you told me. You still trust me and you told me you were hearing things and that means so much to me. I am so relieved that you still trust me and want me to help you because I want to help you. I just want you to-” Grillby sighed and picked Sans up, holding him against his chest. “I just want to hold you and let you know that I love you, okay? I'm just going to hold you all the way to the stand, alright?” Sans nodded, feeling this never before a rush of warmth spread throughout his entire body. It was cold, freezing even despite it being summer. Even with Grillby's heat Sans should not logically feel this hot but he did. His cheeks were flushed and he could not remove his arms from around Grillby's neck. Sans assumed this feeling was love but it felt so different compared to Papyrus' and even previous times with Grillby. Papyrus made Sans feel nice but not like this. The skeleton felt as if he was basking in the warmth of Hotland, but minus the sweating and uncomfortable heat. This was new. Sans didn't know why it felt so different, but he was not going to complain. He loved it.

The feeling remained, even after Grillby had set him down so Sans could order and hold his frozen dessert. That warmth stayed. Sans feared it might melt his frozen treat, but it appeared to only be internal. He was feeling this, this was an emotion. This had to be love, but what kind?

Grillby questioned Sans about yesterday and the voice and Sans answered. He told his guardian about hearing the voice for a few seconds but not since then. He told him that he was jealous of Fiora for multiple reasons. She knew Grillby better than he did. She brought out a side Grillby had never shown the skeletons before. Grillby acted differently and it wasn't because of him. Sans was jealous he wasn't getting the attention and he was envious that only Fiora was able to get it out. He was hurt that Grillby hadn't ever acted like that before because they were his kids, adopted or not. They deserved his attention and parental care. They should have seen it by now, not her. 

Grillby apologized, a lot. Unaware of his behavioral change before, he was unable to understand why Sans had acted as he had. Now with an understanding of how the skeleton felt, Grillby was both oddly pleased and mad at himself for not noticing. He found it adorable that Sans was acting childish for once. Jealousy was something Grillby always thought might spark in Sans. Overprotective behavior often led to it when the object or person being protected directed their attention elsewhere. Sans previously had always resorted to concern or worry when his protective hold over Papyrus was being threatened. Even recently Sans had still shown the same signs when it came to Papyrus playing with his school friends. He'd sit by the window, ensuring Papyrus was safe and happy, never glaring at the friends he played with silently wishing death upon them. But now, when it came to Grillby directing his attention elsewhere, the skeleton changed. The flame was flattered in an odd way, that Sans cared so much but he mainly found it both cute and sad. Sans wanted Grillby's attention, his love, his acceptance. He already got it twenty-four seven, but the moments Grillby had begun to focus on someone else Sans got confused, wondering why the spotlight was no longer on him.

“I didn't know what to feel,” Sans confessed, feet kicking the snow below. Sans always had a hard time portraying his emotions. Such complex feelings like love, jealousy, empathy, they were foreign to him. “I didn't know why I felt so angry as Fiora so I acted out. I didn't know why I was so hurt about how you acted so I pouted. Before, I thought you didn't care.” Sans admitted, staring at the crumpled up napkin in his hand. “Like I did something wrong, and that's why you never acted like that before. We are your kids and we are your family, but we've never seen you so parental before. I-I thought that maybe you didn't want to be. That you just kept us to be nice or because you felt bad. That I have been reading this all wrong and allowing myself to believe a fantasy. I know that it was wrong to think, but I didn't know what else to think.” Sans finished, choosing to now fiddle with his zipper.

 Although Grillby had debated with himself in the past if the children would ever view him as a father figure, he didn't actually think it would happen. Sans seemed so reserved and informal that the idea of him calling the bartender father or dad was rather strange. He could imagine Papyrus being on board completely and if Grillby was honest he was too. He already viewed the skeleton brothers as his children. He loves them like they were his own and he treats them a lot better than most parents, he thought at least. Although it would be a bit odd addressing them as his sons, they could maybe work out the preferred names later.

 “Even now, I feel things I don't understand. But, you said to talk to you about things and this...this is one of those things?” Sans looked up at Grillby, hands clenching and unclenching in the fabric of his jacket.

“Yeah Sans, it is. You can talk to me about anything.” Grillby replied and Sans nodded.

“How do you explain-” Sans fidgeted, face contorted in a look of frustration and confusion, “emotions? They are all so similar. How do I know my anger is rage or that my sadness is depression? How do I convey what I am feeling now? How do I know it's not something else I've felt before?”

“Is what you are feeling something you have felt before?” Sans shook his head.

“No, it’s... warm.”

“So, it's a good feeling?”

“Yeah.” Grillby relaxed a bit. “I mean, there are others, but this one won't go away. Not since you took me to get the nice cream. It's a form of love? I think, but...I don't know. It is not the same kind I have felt before. It's not like how I love Papyrus it’s different to this. It's different to how I've felt about you as well. I don't know...it's nice.” A soft smile rested on Sans' face. 

“It sounds like a type of love. I assume it's directed towards me?” Sans nodded. “Maybe you view me differently. Is it stronger than before?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Well, how do you view me? Or, I guess a better question is what do you see me as? How did you view me before and what about that has changed compared to how you see me now?”

“I thought of you as my guardian before. You were, you are. But now it feels too...formal? To call you my guardian now, it feels like that word isn't right anymore. I don't view you that way? I think of you and the word guardian doesn't seem adequate. You are more than my guardian, I... I want you to be more than that.” Sans confessed, looking away, face hiding in his jacket.

“So more like a dad?” Sans blushed lightly and nodded.

“...yeah...” Grillby tried desperately to hide the goofy smile that was making its way onto his face. His hand rested over his mouth and he took a deep breath, composing himself.

“Would you like me to act more parental around you two? I do love you both like my children, very much. But, you never seemed to be interested in anything more before. I guess I assumed with your previous history of parents that you'd never want or be comfortable around one.”

“What previous history?” Sans asked.

“Exactly, it's non-existent. You are always wary of things you are unfamiliar with and since you have no history of anyone even being remotely close to a parental or fatherly figure, it never seemed like you to just jump on board the dad wagon. Papyrus, sure, but your brother isn't you. I'm honestly quite surprised you are bringing this up before him. But then again, I suppose he wouldn't ask about it, would be? He'd just do it.” Grillby mulled over the thought and Sans laughed lightly beside him. 

“That would surprise you, wouldn't it? Coming home one day and having Papyrus just call you dad.” 

“Yeah, guess that would take me by surprise. Can't say I wouldn't expect it to happen sooner or later. I honestly don't know if I would even be opposed to the idea, not that it would matter. He'd do it regardless and I wouldn't care. Same goes for you,” Grillby nudged Sans causing the skeleton to look up at him. “Just say the word, kiddo. I'm not against it at all. If you want me to act more paternal or you want to treat me more like a dad I don't mind. I'd still like to be your friend and I still want you to know that I'd like to help you regardless of what title you give me.” Grillby told his child.

“I want you to be the same, but also like how you act with Fiora. You act like you guys are a real family and not like us. I mean, I know we are a real one too and all but, it's different. I don't want you to...I don't know. I don't want you to be afraid or nervous to act normal around us-around me. I know you get nervous around me because of all...you know. But, you don't have to, I don't want you to. I want to get better and to improve. So maybe acting more like a dad would...be better? I'm not sure. I don't know how regular dads are. You wouldn't be that different, right?” Grillby shrugged, looking up at the rocky ceiling.

 “I don't think so? If I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever be a regular dad but something tells me you two would prefer that. I guess I'd...I don't know. I've kinda been giving you your own space to let you do what you want but maybe I could be more involved? Not sure how, though. I don't want to be all over you all the time but I really don't know. We'll see I guess.” Grillby looked down at Sans and shrugged.

“Guess, I don't know how normal dads act so I guess I can't tell you how to act. The television dads always seem too affectionate and fake.”

“Awe, so you don't want me showing how much I love you every second and then go outside to play catch?” Sans’ face scrunched up and Grillby laughed pulling him in for a hug. “But Sans that's how all dads are! They just shower their children with love.” Grillby kept pressing Sans against him in an overdramatic embrace. Sans giggled and pushed against Grillby.

“Grillby, no!”

“But Sans, I'm your paternal figure! How are you supposed to know I love you without showing you enough love?”

“You can buy me more nice cream.” The two laughed and Grillby released him.

 “As if, you have to get back to school.”

“I don't want to, it's boring.” Grillby snorted and offered his hand out to Sans.

 “I'm sorry advance level classes bore you, but this will be my first deed as your new paternal figure. Let's get you to school.”

“Yes, Dad,” Sans said with a shy smile, taking the offered hand. Grillby flickered pink, squeezing Sans' hand and glanced back over at the frozen treat stand.

“Fine, one scoop.” Sans looked up at him and grinned.

“If I call you dad more often do I get more treats?” Grillby scoffed, shoving Sans lightly.

“Fat chance.”

 “Psh, that's lame, old man,” Sans said, pointing to the chocolate flavour.

“I'm sorry it's lame I don't reward you every time you decide to call me dad.” Grillby chuckled, handing over the money and taking the cone, He held it over Sans head and grinned. “What's the magic word?”

“Grillby, gimmie my cone!” Sans extended his hands, reaching for the treat. Grillby snorted and handed him the treat.

“Close enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I told you guys this or not...but you are all amazing. You're all my Papyrus, guys. I am the lazy and depressed Sans and you are the bright and shiny Papyrus dragging me out of my bed and making my day. I mean like dude. Kudos: 507?! Bookmarks: 98?! Subscriptions: 141?! GUYS! 500?! And almost 100 bookmarks and also 150 Subs?! *curls up into ball* guys come on, no...I can't...
> 
> I like need to do something special. I don't know if I can double update this today, but like...holy moly. I have no idea how to ever express my gratitude. You guys want some spoiler? Some sneak peaks? I don't know man! *Curls up into ball cuddling my cat* you guys are so nice, I can't even... just take the dadsby. Take it and run.
> 
> For reals you guys, anything you need just hit me the fuck up.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got questions I can answer or c  
> comments (don't be shy~). I'll make sure to update on any change of schedule here as well and on there so no pressure to follow.


	20. Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah, you mah rock.

Grillby's blissful mood was shot out of the sky the second he returned home. His new bar schedule of Sundays and Wednesdays off meant he was free to spend time with Fiora and Papyrus until Sans got out of school. Grillby was ready to have a grand time with his family, up until he stepped through the door. Fiora stood by the doorway, eyes tired and phone extended. She showed her uncle the screen and Grillby frowned.

“Seven calls. Twenty minutes. And it's not even nine.” The green flame turned her phone over and pressed a few buttons before handing it to her uncle. “I'm going back to bed.” Grillby took the phone while watching his niece head upstairs to his bedroom.

“Wait, which one did you-”

“Hello, honey!” Sulfi. Grillby silently thanked his niece for being so kind.

“Hey, Sulfi.”

“Oh! Gr-Hello, sweetheart. How are you doing with your uncle?” Sulfi questioned, voice sounding a bit forced.

“She finally answered?! Let me see the phone!” Grillby plopped down on the couch and groaned.

“Flint! Wait your damn turn. Grillby isn't back yet so calm down. You'll burn a hole in the carpet.” There was some shuffling on the other end before Sulfi spoke once more. “Hello?”

“Thanks for that.” Grillby voiced, not wanting to speak to his brother right away.

“Don't thank me yet, he is still livid that you haven't called. I told him you have your reasons, but I don't think anyone knows him better than you.”

“Yeah, I know. Try to keep him at bay for as long as possible. I'd hate to have to rely on Fiora to convey all our messages until I get a new phone.”

“I'll do my best. But enough about him, how have you been? It's been a while.” Grillby sighed, resting his head on the couch.

“Sorry it took so long, I've been busy. Some things have come up and it's been hard to find some spare time.”

“Things? What things?” Sulfi pressed, her gossip-loving nature coming out.

“I'd rather not say over the phone. I don't want you reacting like you usually do.” Sulfi scoffed on the other end. Grillby knew the second he let one-word slip she will scream it out for the entire Underground to hear. He was not about to have Flint find out about his children because Sulfi couldn't contain her excitement. “Just, things. I'll maybe show you when I come down.”

“Show me? Is it a pet? No, you aren't an animal lover. Oh! Grillby is it a girl?! Or a guy, you know I won't judge! You do not have to hide your relationship from me. I am open and accepting of anyone or thing you bring to my home.” Sulfi clarified and Grillby swung an arm over his face. Why was that always where she went?

“Sulfi, no, stop, please. I'm not dating anyone. Please don't try to guess. I'll let you know all about it in person. I just can't have Flint knowing about it until then. I love you and all, but you aren't very good at containing your emotions.”

“Fine, so you have some big secret to tell us when you come up with Fi. That's fine. Besides all that, what's new? How's the bar?” Grillby spotted Papyrus exit his bedroom and he quickly places a finger to his lips.

“Bar's fine, everything is fine. Really Sulfi, nothing new has happened.” The bartender pointed to the kitchen and then his stomach. Papyrus nodded and gestured to his clothes and his bedroom. They each gave each other a thumbs up before going off to do their duties.

“As talkative as usual. Honestly, I have no idea why Flint worries about you so much. I mean, I do, but, you know. Anyways, he's the same as ever, as you can imagine. Between you and Fiora, he is hotter than our lava pool most of the time.”

“You fixed the pool? And why is he so mad at Fi?” Grillby used his shoulder to hold the phone in place as he began cracking some eggs into a bowl.

“Yes, we did! Flint finally called someone. He's so stubborn. Fi, well, she is a wildfire. She's not too sure where she wants to go with her education and Flint is giving her the old dad lecture. 'When I was graduating, I already have seven colleges applied to! Even your uncle had a plan!' I'm not pressuring her. If someone told me I'd be a terasologist when I was older I would have died laughing! Fiora will get there one way or another. She's smart enough to go into any field. She said she's interested in medical, but you know how rough that is for us. I have no doubt she could do it, I mean, she is my child. I just worry she is limiting herself by only pursuing medical studies.”

“She wants to go into the medical field and you say she is limiting herself?” Grillby laughed, beating the eggs together.

“I know it's no walk in the park, but come on, Grillby. Compared to my studies it's easy. Plus, flame elements or any elemental monster is already restricted to a certain degree due to our forms. I think she's going into it because she thinks it'll be less work...”

“Less work? Sulf, do you not know how much work she will still have to do? If she wanted to do less work she'd be like me and not attend college at all.” Grillby began cutting up some vegetables to toss into Papyrus' omelette.

“I suppose you're right. But still, she's not fully committed to a college path yet, so old yellow flame is throwing a fit. I'm sure these few weeks with you are a much-needed vacation for her.” Sulfi said and Grillby felt a bit bad.

“Jeez, if I had known I would have let her stay longer.”

“She'll be fine, I'm sure being away from here is enough of a break for her. She loves to think she is lazy, but she can't stand lying around for more than three days.” Grillby shrugged, nodding in agreement despite her not being able to see him.

“Alright,” Grillby voiced as unenthusiastically as possible. “You want to hand the phone over to Flint?”

“How noble of you to do this so willingly,” Sulfi noted as Grillby poured the egg mixture into the pan.

“Like I really have a choice,” Grillby muttered under his breath.

“Honey? Your brother is on the phone.” Sulfi called, covering the phone. The bartender could practically feel his brother’s heat through the phone and he wasn't even on the line yet.

“He what!?” Flint shouted and Grillby readied himself for the verbal attack. The bartender heard the phone be passed over and held his breath. “Do you have any fucking idea how worried I have been?! Who the hell do you think you are not calling any of your family members in several months?”

“Hello, Flint,” Grillby grumbled, nodding to Papyrus as the skeleton began pouring himself a glass of milk.

“What kind of selfish asshole doesn't-” Grillby muted his end of the line and set the phone on the counter.

“Pap, you like mushrooms in your omelette, right?” The guardian asked and Papyrus nodded.

“Are you talking to your brother?” The skeleton asked as he set the milk carton back in the fridge.

“Yea.” Grillby bitterly stated, tossing in the vegetables a bit too roughly, almost breaking the cooked eggs. The bartender picked the phone back up and unmuted it.

“-was I supposed to know you were okay?! But no, of course, you didn't think about the outcome of your actions. Are you even listening to me? What is that noise? You aren't listening to me are you?!”

“I'm cooking myself some damn breakfast. I'm sorry you think I'm incapable of listening to you scream in my ear and cook at the same time.”

“Do not get angry at me, Grillby. If anyone should be mad it is me! You leave me in-” Grillby set the phone down, glaring at the omelette he was pressing against with the spatula. He flipped it onto a plate and handed it to Papyrus with a bottle of ketchup. Returning to the phone, Grillby was not surprised to hear his brother still nagging.

“Omelette okay?” Grillby asked Papyrus and the skeleton gave him a thumbs up.

“So tell me, brother. What is your excuse this time for not keeping me informed on your life?”

“I don't need an excuse. I can do whatever the hell I want, Flint. I don't need your consent to live my life. You want to know what I've been doing? I've been working, that's it.”

“You've only been working and yet you haven't called or visited at all?”

“Yea, pretty much.”

“You are unbelievable.”

“You-” Grillby groaned, wanting to break the phone in half. “Look, I called for Fiora's sake, alright? I have stuff to do and I am too busy to allow her to stay here the full summer so I plan on taking her back in two weeks. I'll visit as well and maybe bring some things with me. I won't stay for long.”

“Some things? What things?”

“Things,” Grillby repeated, glancing at Papyrus.

“What the hell did you do? Are you in trouble? Are you dating someone?”

“I'm not dating anyone! I'm not in trouble either, jeez. Just calm down. For once in your life stop worrying and trust me.”

“How am I supposed to trust you when you don't trust me?! You keep hiding all these-”

“No, I am not talking about this right now. Two weeks and I'll be up with Fiora. I'll stay for a week max, but if you keep this shit up I'll leave the second I arrive.” Grillby warned.

“You can't just keep avoiding this! You always run away from your problems!”

“Maybe it's not the problems I'm running away from. That idea ever cross your mind?”

“I'm going to ignore that because I know you say things you'll regret later when you are upset. But that is exactly why I let you move to Snowdin!”

“Let me!? Are you--” Grillby cut himself off, his anger rising too quickly. The napkin he was going to hand to Papyrus caught fire and he quickly set the burning paper in the sink, watching it burn. Grillby let out a dry laugh, shaking his head slightly. “Ha, okay, sure. Great talking to you, Flint. It's been a real blast.” Grillby hung up and set the phone down. “Let me move to Snowdin, what a joke,” Grillby growled. The phone rang out and Grillby declined the call and turned the device off.

“You and your brother fight a lot.” Papyrus voiced.

“Yeah, we do.”

“I don't think I've seen you that colour before.” Grillby noticed his bright red flame and took a deep breath, calming himself down.

“Sorry, he just really pushes my buttons.”

“Are we going up with you to see them?” Papyrus asked hopefully.

“We'll see. I'd like for you to come, but I'm not sure if it'll be a good idea. I'm not too sure I'll be myself around my brother.” Grillby admitted, knowing that usually when the two were in the same room things often got heated. “Plus, my brother can be a bit inconsiderate. I'd hate to have him say something rude about you two. Then I'd definitely punch his face in.” Grillby felt like he could hold back his rage well enough around his brother, but if he said one thing about his children Grillby would knock him out.

“I'd still like to go! I want to meet them. Maybe we all can be friends.” Grillby smiled at Papyrus' pure nature. The kid was too good sometimes.

“We'll see how Sans feels about it. He's more of a worry than you are.” The skeleton nodded in agreement, swallowing the last of his omelette.

“Yeah, if your brother is mean to you Sans might try to attack him. That wouldn't be a good way to start out a friendship.”

“Maybe not, but I'm not going to lie. If Flint said something snarky, I'd gladly let Sans kick his butt.”

“Violence is bad, Grillby.” The bartender rubbed Papyrus' skull, taking the plate from him.

“You're right. See? Maybe I do need you to come along. You can make sure I don't end up killing my brother.” Papyrus beamed, kicking his legs happily.

“Yes! I can help calm you and Sans down!”

“On the topic of your brother, me and him had a little chat today. We talked about a few things I should probably also talk to you about.” Grillby informed, pulling on is waterproof gloves so he could wash the dishes.

“Did you talk about things he doesn't want me to know?”

“Kinda, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. We talked about more family type stuff. Things that concern you.”

“Family stuff?” Papyrus repeated, looking puzzled. A light bulb went off and the skeleton gasped, slamming his hands on the table. “Did he call you dad?!” Grillby's flame rose, gloves hand hovering over the soapy pot.

“How did you know that's what we talked about?”

“We talked yesterday about it.”

“Ah,” Grillby said, still a bit shocked. Grillby really needed to stop underestimating Papyrus, even though he never thought he was anything short of brilliant. The kid clearly was more in the loop than he thought most of the time. “So, you're okay with it?”

“Yes, Dad!”

And so the name was official. Fiora slept in till the afternoon and was very confused when she woke up hearing the skeleton children refer to Grillby as dad or old man as Sans said more often.

“Weren't they calling you Grillby like just last night?” The bartender shrugged.

“He's dad now!” Papyrus announced, clinging onto Grillby's leg.

“How does this happen? I go to bed with you being a guardian and wake up to you as a father.” Fiora muttered to herself, raiding the kitchen for food. The rest of the day was just the four of them hanging out. They watched TV, ate, allowed Papyrus to drag them into whatever game he desired to play before everyone started getting ready for bed.

Fiora was in the bathroom checking out her reflection when Sans strolled in and turned on the bath water. Fiora made a face at the sound of the water, it vanished when she felt Sans nudge her leg slightly.

“Move, please.” He said, hands making a shooing motion. Fiora stepped away from the sink and Sans nearly crawled inside the small cabinet. He emerged moments later with two large tins that he carried over to the bath. The flame watched with interest as the skeleton began scooping the contents of the tins into the bath, using his hand to mix the different substances until they dissolved.

“What are you doing?” Fiora asked as the skeleton turned off the water.

“Setting up a bath,” Sans replied.

“No, I meant with that stuff? What is it?” The flame tried to look at the labels, but the skeleton turned them away.

“It's medicine. What were you doing looking at yourself in the mirror? Did you get water on your face?”

“I was checking my glow. What kind of medicine is it?” Sans shoved the tins back under the sink, debating on whether or not he should take out the other creams he used.

“Skeleton stuff, for skeletons. Can't you just see your glow? Why do you need a mirror?” Sans wondered, continuing the back and forth questioning.

“You get the best reading from the face and core where our soul it. That's why it's a different shade than the rest of our bodies.” Fiora told Sans, pointing the lime green tone her face was and then motioning to the bright green the rest of her body was. “That's my normal colour, just like how Grillby's face is his normal colour,” Fiora told Sans who listened intently to the new information.

“Is that why when you get emotional your face changes colour first?”

“Kinda, our chest often changes first, but you can't see that most of the time. Flame monsters are very expressive despite not having a lot of facial details. We are pretty much-living fire with magic, fire to most is just flames if you think about the conditions it's under it can seem alive.”

“A regular fire acts differently, though. You change colour.” Sans pointed out and Fiora shrugged.

“True, but if you think about the basics of it, we are the same. If you were to throw something a fire that it would love, paper, gasoline, what would the flame do?”

“Burn it?” Fiora snorted, rolling her eyes.

“Well, duh, genius. I meant what would the flame look like. How would the flame react?”

“It would continue to burn?” Fiora sighed, resting her head in her hands.

“How does Grillby react when you do something he loves?”

“He gets happy.” Fiora made a motion for Sans to elaborate more.

“What does his flame do?” Sans thought it over for a few moments before finally understanding.

“He gets brighter! And if a fire gets things it like it's burning brighter!”

“See? Not so different. Just like if a fire is dying out or water gets splashed on it, the flame looks weaker and sickly. A flame in a bad environment can't thrive. When we are unwell or in a situation we can't thrive in, we look dim and weak.”

“Do you know all this because you’re a flame?”

“Yes and no. I know most of it because of that, but I also studied it in my spare time. I'm thinking about being a doctor so I'm looking into this kind of stuff more.” Sans face scrunched up and he looked away, taking out the medication he will need to apply after his bath.

“Why would you want to be that?” Sans asked, still having a strong distaste for the word.

“Well, it's the closest I can get to my dream job so I'll take what I can get.”

“What's your dream job?” The skeleton found himself asking.

“I'd like to study humans.” Sans hand hovered over the ointment he was about to grab. He swallowed a large lump in his throat, sweat forming on the back of his skull.

“…W-What?”

“Yea, I know everyone is scared of them, but I just think they are neat. I mean they are so powerful and their bodies work so freakishly! They aren't even powered by their soul, isn't that weird? They have another organ called a heart and that actually does all the work! They are so bizarre. The only monster that comes close to being similar to them is your kind, the skeletons. But even then you are kinda the, no offense, dull part of them. No tissue, muscle, blood, organs, but just the bones. We can't really study you guys in hopes of getting to understand humans better. Not that anyone would study your race like that. That would be pretty messed up, wouldn't it? Treating you like some horrifying human. Keeping skeletons locked up to study them like some experiment?” Fiora let out a soft chuckle but Sans had started to tremble.

Did Fiora know? Was she playing some game? Did Grillby tell her? Did he break his promise? Sans was a fool, he should have never trusted him. They all knew and were mocking him. He should have known. He should never have allowed himself to believe this lie.

“Uh, hey are you okay?” Fiora asked, noticing Sans' pupils begin to fade.

No. Grillby wouldn't lie. He was safe. Fiora didn't know. It was just a joke. Sans loved jokes. He was supposed to laugh, it was a joke. You laugh at jokes. Fiora was laughing at her joke, not at Sans. The joke. You laugh at jokes.

Sans forced out a laugh that sounded way too strained and crazed to be real. Noticing how off it was he silenced himself, unable to calm down. Fiora recalled what her uncle had held her and she stepped back hoping Papyrus was nearby. Sans gripped his jacket tightly, not wanting to be near Fiora. He didn't trust her even though he knew he could. His mind was split down the middle and instability was slowly taking control. He didn't want to hurt Fiora because he knew Grillby would be mad at him. Most likely the most enraged he had ever been when it came to Sans. The skeleton didn't want that.

“Papyrus?”

“Get out.” He ordered. Fiora looked at bit paler, the child's empty sockets frightening her.

“Okay, I'll go. I'm getting Papyrus, so please don't-Papyrus?” Fiora called louder as she backed away more. She stepped through the doorway and fell back as Sans slammed the door shut. The elder skeleton heard Papyrus open their bedroom door the second Sans' slammed the bathroom one. He needed to calm down, now. Without taking off his clothes, he jumped into the tub and submerged himself. The hot water caused his panic to seize, instead focusing on how hot his body was. Sans lifted his head out of the water, and he heard a soft knock on the door. Not wanting to speak, Sans repeated the knock on the tub, hoping the form on the other side of the door would know what he meant. Thankfully they did and Papyrus stepped in looking worried. He closed the door and walked over to Sans, giving his brother a hug. Sans leaned into the embrace, slowly lifted his heavy arms to wrap them around his brother, soaking his pyjamas.

“What happened? Are you okay?” Grillby asked Fiora, voice easily heard through the door.

“I'm fine, he just started panicking. I don't know what happened. We were talking and then he looked kinda freaked out, but I just thought it was the topic so I tried to make a joke and then he just started getting worse.”

“What were you talking about?”

“Humans but I thought it was just regular fear like normal. But I made some joke about-” Sans didn't want to listen and picked Papyrus up, the younger skeleton willingly going into the tub with his brother. The sound of the splashing water covered their voiced and Sans was thankful Papyrus wasn't about to hear them.

“Are you okay?” The younger skeleton asked. Sans didn't reply. “Did Fiora do something to make you upset? I'm sure she didn't mean to.” The skeleton shook his head. “Did she say something?” Sans acknowledged a yes. “Was it on purpose?” Sans signalled no. “You aren't mad at her, right?”

“...I didn't want to hurt her.” Sans whispered.

“You didn't, right?” Sans nodded. “Then it's fine.” The younger skeleton squeezed his brother, his magic providing a warmth that made the steaming bath water seem arctic. “You're getting better.” Sans didn't feel like he was. Even if his attack didn't result in him attacking someone or having violent flashbacks, he still felt just as terrible. He could have hurt her. Sans feared if his insanity acted up anymore he would have. He didn't want to think like that, but sometimes it was hard not to. He knew he was in control over his emotions usually, but he also knew that he easily lost control. His instability wasn't normal, and he knew that. The skeleton was just too scared to find out why. Grillby knew a lot about what Sans was feeling and he was worried about the skeleton. Grillby had gone to therapy and attempted suicide yet he was worried about Sans. Sans must really be unhealthy.

And although Sans felt better physically from all the medication Ellen gave him, he wasn't getting better like he thought he would. Sans thought he would act like Papyrus, happy and carefree. Even if he felt happier than before, his episodes only appeared to be getting worse. Maybe he did need to talk to someone. Even if he really didn't want to, maybe that was push out of his comfort zone was needed? Sans was doubtful since he hated being pressured to speak, but maybe. He didn't know.

The older skeleton drained his bath early and washed him and his brother off, removing their drenched clothes. They finished up the shower and dried off. Sans squeezed the extra water out of the soaked clothes, not wanting Grillby to deal with the problem. Grillby waited to speak to Sans, allowing the skeleton to get dressed and take care of the bathroom before he approached him. The skeleton sat on the toilet, rubbing the cream on his arm, over the wound he hated so much.

“Hey, kiddo,” Grillby spoke softly, noticing how tired Sans looked.

“Hi,” Sans mumbled back.

“Fi didn't know any better, you know that right? She didn't mean to say what she did.” Sans nodded, bony hands now stroking the grooves of the bone.

“I know.”

“You sound pretty troubled. Did something happen with Papyrus?”

“No, I-...” Sans sighed, giving up on words and just shrugging.

“Just not feeling good?” The skeleton nodded, resting his arms on his lap. “Mind telling me what kinda feelings you have? Did you have any flashbacks or hear anything?”

“No. 'M just tired 'n sad,” Sans admitted, unsure of how else to state his feeling. He was just tired and sad. He wanted to sleep for a long time and feel bad. He was being too negative and was deciding to blame it on his exhaustion.

“Want some hot chocolate?” Grillby offered, knowing exactly how Sans was feeling. The skeleton looked up at him, eyes a bit brighter. “I can add some marshmallows too if you want.” The bartender added. A small smile formed on the skeleton's face, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. He nodded and took Grillby's offered hand, smile fading a bit, however, the flame element understood that sometimes smiles were hard to keep up.

Grillby didn't expect Sans to be cured by hot chocolate. He wasn't dumb enough to think that rewards and treats could magically change Sans' mood. Sometimes you were just depressed. Grillby knew that if he tried to cheer Sans up, he'd most likely end up failing and Sans would then feel even worse. All the bartender wanted was to help his child and if hot chocolate at nine at night would help, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to be a big old butt, but updates will now be every two days instead of every other day. I finally readjusted my schedule and between personal junk and free time, I often have to sacrifice some things in order to push out an update, which is something I don't want to do. For some reason these past few, and next couple of chapters, are hard for me to word I guess. I'm not content with them even if I know they are fine. I fear my writing has been impaired because I know what is/what is going to happen and I haven't been leading you the reader in the direction intended. But, I need to chill and stop comparing my story to others and just enjoy writing my fic for what it is. Hence why this chapter is out! I wanted to scrap it all and restart but decided it was fine for what it is and-here we are.
> 
> Thanks an oodle of noodles for all the support! Hope I can continue to keep you around and interested!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got any questions or comments you'd like to ask :)!


	21. Temper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yo Hannah....*wink*

Fortunately, there were no more accidents for the remainder of Fiora's visit. Sans seemed rather depressed at times but he was honest with his brother and Grillby, telling them he just wasn't feeling very good. Grillby was unable to suppress his concern, but the flame did do a good job at hiding it. Instead of hovering over Sans, he allowed Papyrus to do what he does best. At the end of most days, Sans was usually covered in stickers, blankets, and an assortment of Papyrus' doodles. Even though Sans wasn't feeling as chipper as usual, the effort his brother gave did make him let out a few genuine smiles. The day before their trip Sans was finally feeling a bit more energetic, but Grillby had now been infected by his depressive bug.,

The bartender normally felt pretty shitty thinking about the visit regardless of his new lifestyle. But since he had the children coming with him, Grillby was unable to rest easy knowing anything could go wrong. He knew Flint meant well and loved him no matter what he said. Grillby knew his brother well, too well. Flint was unable to deal with his emotions very well and was quick to anger and his anger often turned into worry. Flint's constant worry and overprotective nature sometimes gave Sans' own hold on Papyrus a run for its money. Grillby knew Flint would say something about the children, most likely negative. The bartender just prayed he had the strength to not only hold Sans back but himself as well.

On the day of their journey, Grillby was a mess. He was unable to sleep the night before and skipped breakfast because he was feeling too nauseous to eat. Thankfully Bonnie came over and distracted everyone so Grillby could prepare himself.

“Have you met Grillby's family before?” Sans asked and Bonnie nodded, picking up Papyrus who held out his arms.

“I have met them a few times, but since they aren't a fan of the cold they don't visit much. Sulfi and I talk on the phone quite often, though. I thought about visiting, but with my thick coat I'd be roasting down in Hotland.”

“Are they nice?” Papyrus questioned and Bonnie's smile seemed a bit forced.

“Ha, yes, they are nice.” She replied too quickly and Fiora snorted, stuffing her bag. “Sulfi is wonderful! Flint can just be a bit hard to talk to, but people say that about Grillby and we all know he's not bad!” Papyrus beamed, nodding in agreement.

“Dad's the best!”

“Oh, it is just so cute that you call him that!” Bonnie squealed, the embrace tightening around the skeleton. “Speaking of him, Grillby you better hurry up or you'll miss the boat!” Bonnie called and Grillby groaned from his bedroom.

“Good.” The bartender grumbled to himself before exiting the room with his bag for the week.

“Jeez, Uncle Grillby, try not to blind us with your radiant flame.” Fiora joked, taking in her uncle's low, dark orange flame.

“Don't tease your uncle, Fi. I'm sure he is a lot more thrilled on the inside.” Bonnie stated, setting Papyrus down.

“Yeah, I can hardly contain my excitement,” Grillby stated dryly, fishing out his house key. “I doubt I need you to watch over the house. I don't imagine I'll be staying too long.”

“Hush up, you,” Bonnie demanded, snatching the key from him. “That is not the attitude you should have about your family. Regardless of whatever history you two have, make this visit a pleasant one. Remember, you have your two lovely _sons_ with you. Try to make their _first_ family visit a nice one.”

“Tell that to Flint,” Grillby mumbled, taking Sans' hand once he said goodbye to Bonnie. They all said their goodbyes and headed off to the river boat.

Neither Fiora or Grillby were necessarily a fan of boats. The idea of sitting in a small, easily breakable floating coffin surrounded by water was never appealing to the monsters made out of fire. However, the walk to Hotland was long and boring. Plus, walking through the Waterfalls was even more dangerous than the boat. At least the boat guaranteed some safety. The Waterfalls were unpredictable and most of the time, the paths were flooded.

Sans and Papyrus loved the boat to the flames' dismay. They touched the moving water as they glided down the river. They clung to the edge, rocking the boat a few times and nearly giving the on edge fire elements a heart attack. Eventually, Grillby had to tell them to be still because he was pretty sure he was going to die if they didn't.

They arrived half an hour later and Grillby stepped off the riverboat and frowned. He tightened his grip on his Sans' hands as he watched his niece start the walk down a familiar path. With a deep breath, he followed, both wanting and not wanting to delay the inevitable. He really didn't want to be back in Hotland, even less so with his Sans and Papyrus. Too many memories hung in the air and it made him feel tense. His body went rigid as he passed lava pools and flamed homes, childhood memories flashing in his head both positive and negative.

“Why are you two more impressed by the boat than being surrounded by lava?” Fiora wondered, watching the two brothers just idly take in the scenes around them.

“We can't explore the lava or we'll die,” Papyrus informed Fiora as if she was unaware that the skeletons were not immune to the heat.

“Plus, we've been here before. We weren't a fan, too hot.” Sans added with a shrug.

“I didn't know you've been here before.” Grillby voiced, causing Sans to look up at him.

“Yeah, we've been everywhere.” Grillby hummed continuing his walk, unsure of what to make of Sans' comment. It made sense that the brothers would have explored a few places in their time of homelessness. The bartender just now wondered how far they had gone from their original location. Grillby assumed they must have just passed through Hotland judging by how calm Sans was about the place. If the boys really had come from the royal scientist's labs, they must have been walking for days. Grillby doubted they used any river station to travel about and the thought of Sans carting Papyrus around made Grillby’s legs hurt. That amount of cardio would no doubt give the kid some muscle if he had any.

After a few more minutes of walking, Sans and Papyrus were sweating bullets and Grillby thankfully spotted Fiora's house in the distance. Grillby was relieved to see that it was not set ablaze, a common occurrence in Hotland homes. Considering most, if not all creatures that lived in the residential areas of Hotland were made of fire or impervious to it, seeing a house made of fire or on fire was like seeing an igloo or snow-covered roof in Snowdin. But since the two skeletons were far from being flame repellent, Grillby was going to watch them like a hawk. If they had a heat stroke or got burned, no one in the house would be able to help them without making the situation worse. Grillby was thankful he only had to mainly look after Sans, knowing the older skeleton would ensure his younger sibling did not take a dip in the magma.

“Are you both okay?” Grillby asked and they approached the house. They nodded, already panting.

“Are you?” Sans panted, refusing to remove his jacket.

“About as okay as a fly around Muffet.” Sans did not get the analogy but figured Grillby was not okay.

“Uncle Grillby, I told mom to turn down the heat, but I'm not too sure how cold it will get considering we are surrounded by lava and we'll have four flames in the house,” Fiora announced as she approached the door.

“That's fine, thanks for telling them.” The niece nodded reaching for the knob. The green flame didn't even have time to turn the knob before the door was swung open. A taller, larger, and yellower Grillby stood in the doorway, arms crossed. His eyes were locked on his brother and the bartender held back a cringe.

“Flint.” Grillby greeted. Flint stared, clearly upset by the flickers of red passing through his head.

“I don't even know where to begin.” Flint scoffed, voice firm, ready to scold his younger brother. “Nice to know you care enough to vi-” The yellow monster cut himself off spotting the skeleton children that poked their heads out from behind their father.

“Hello!” Papyrus waved with a grin. Flint's yellow body turn a sunset orange as he directed his attention to his brother.

“Are you fucking-”

“Don't,” Grillby warned, his own orange glow fading into a bright red. The two held a steady gaze, bodies flickering angrily, threatening the other if they dared move. A blue light shoved her husband aside, shooting him a venomous look, eyes flashing violet before returning to an aqua colour. Grillby relaxed slightly spotting the flame.

“Grillby it is so great to see you! It's been so long and- Oh my.” The blue flamed woman's head rose as she spotted the skeleton children. “Skeletons? This is a surprise.” The monster looked up at Grillby. “Is this that surprise? You've started looking after someone's kids? Grillby, honestly, if you were babysitting someone's kids you could have told us. We would have waited.”

“Sulf, I'm not babysitting someone-” Grillby was cut off by his sister in law's voice.

“They are just the cutest things, though. I don't believe I've ever seen a skeleton this young before.” Sulfi smiled as she knelt down, reaching out to Sans who made a small noise of distress as he backed away, Papyrus in tow.

“They are a bit shy,” Grillby stated, stepping in front of Sans.

“I see that.” Sulfi stood up, peering around Grillby to look at the skeleton brothers. “Do they have names?”

“I'm Papyrus and this is my brother Sans!” Sulfi grinned at Papyrus' enthusiasm.

“Hello, Papyrus and Sans. My name is Sulfi, but you can call me Auntie!” Papyrus' eyes sparkled, but Sans looked a little less impressed. “I don't know how he kept you two secret for so long. I didn't know there was a skeletal family in Snowdin. Grillby, you should have to me. Kids, your babysitter is a real piece of work, isn't he?” Sulfi teased, but both skeleton children looked baffled by the comment.

“Babysitter?” Sans asked.

“Grillby's our dad!” Flint glared at his brother and Sulfi flushed in colour.

“Dad? I-well, I just assumed he-uh--” Grillby sighed, shaking his head.

“Why don't we all sit-down, huh?” Flint offered, grabbing his confused wife and moving her out of the doorway. Grillby lead the children inside. “Fiora, take their bags to the spare bedroom.” Fia looked away from her phone, taking the bag from Grillby. She attempted to take the small backpacks from the brothers, but Sans refused to let his go so she gave up, taking Grillby's and Papyrus' instead.

“Well, before this gets any more awkward,” Grillby stated motioning with one hand to the children. “Sulfi, Flint, these are my adopted children Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus, Sans, this is my brother Flint and his wife Sulfi.” The flames were silent but thankfully Papyrus was ready to speak.

“Hello! It is very nice to meet you!” Papyrus elbowed Sans who clicked his teeth together, shooting his brother a stern look.

“Hey.” Sans forced out.

“Adopted? Grillby I didn't know you were even considering adoption. To be honest, you didn't seem too interested in parenthood at all.” Sulfi spoke, shock fading. “I guess this explains why Fiora wanted the house colder. She usually can't stand it below boiling point.”

“Yeah, well, it's been—it's kind of a long story.”

“We use to live outside!” Papyrus announced and Sulfi gasped.

“Papyrus!” His brother hissed.

“I got really sick one day and Sans took us to Grillby's bar! He found us in his trash a couple times but was very nice and gave us food. So Sans went to him for help and we've been with him ever since.” Papyrus beamed, clearly not picking up the sudden depressive mood that washed over the room. Sulfi and Flint were both darker, but for different reasons. Sans covered his face and groaned at how open his brother was while Grillby shook his head, not wondering how he didn't see this coming.

“Thanks, Papyrus,” Grillby said and the skeleton smiled up at him.

“So, you found them, on the streets?” Sulfi asked and Grillby shrugged and nodded. “Oh, you poor things! That is just awful. Thank goodness Grillby was there for you. I told you he was fine, Flint. He saved these two children's lives! They could-oh, I don't even want to think about it. No! Nope, we are changing the topic. This is a happy moment. Happy thoughts. Sans, Papyrus, would you like something to eat or drink?”

“Drinks please, Auntie!” Sans really wished his brother would not be as open as he was. Not even five minutes as he was already acting so friendly and buddy-buddy.

“I'll get you some milk, how does that sound?” The younger skeleton nodded and blue fire monster smiled before walking off.

“Why don't you three have a seat?” Flint offered, looking only at Grillby. The orange flame ignored his brother and lead the children to the sofa. Flint took a seat on the loveseat, Sulfi sitting beside him once she returned with a tray full of snacks and two tall glasses of milk. The skeleton's guzzled down the drinks, dying from the heat of Hotland.

“So Grillby, Fiora has told us that you moved into a home.” Sulfi began, filling the silent air.

“Yes, I bought a place after I got Sans and Papyrus. My bar was too small for the three of us.”

“Grillby bought it as a Christmas present for us,” Papyrus added with a mouth full of cookies.

“That's a pretty big present. Pretty big investment as well, is the home nice?” Flint questioned, tone a bit stiff. Grillby glared, disliking the tone.

“The home is fine. If I recall, you always hated me living at my bar. I figured you'd be overjoyed to hear I now live in a home.”

“Flint.” Sulfi scolded, eyes threatening before returning to their soft expression. “We will have to come visit you sometime! What about these two, when did they become part of the family?” Sans gave Grillby a pained expression, uncomfortable with how friendly Sulfi was being.

“Since December.” The orange fire answered.

“Seven months, that's a long time to keep this hidden from your biological family.” Flint pressed and Grillby's fingers dug into the sofa. “Any reason why you decided to keep it a secret for so long?”

“I had my reasons, Flint. The kids were a bit shy and unfamiliar with a regular life so I wanted to give them time to adjust. The last thing I wanted was for you or Sulfi to come down and startle them.”

“Well, I'm glad you are acting responsibly. I'd hate for you to take on another task you can't handle. There were other ways of handling this type of situation.” Grillby felt his body heat up.

“Flint,” Sulfi warned.

“What? I'm being honest, Sulf. There's an orphanage in the capital. He doesn't need to keep a burden he can't handle.” Both skeletons frowned at the word, looking up at Grillby who was steaming.

“Well, he didn't Flint! The poor kids were homeless and scared! I'm sure the last thing they wanted was to be surrounded by strangers at some orphanage!” Flint's wife snapped.

“Sans doesn't like strangers which is why he went to Grillby.” Papyrus voiced, catching everyone’s attention.

“Pap, don't,” Sans whispered, begging his brother to be quiet for once.

“I've never been to an orphanage, but I'm sure it wouldn't be as nice as Grillby's. Strangers make Sans nervous. He sometimes gets upset around others and might attack-” Sans covered his brother's mouth burying his skull in his jacket. The older skeleton winced as Flint's flame brightened causing Sans hide behind Grillby for protection.

“Attacks? You did make another rash decision. You took in two homeless children and you can't handle it!” Flint shouted finger jabbing Grillby's chest.

“Shut your mouth, Flint.” Grillby snarled, slapping his brother's hand away. The two brothers blazed like a bonfire, and Sans backed away from Grillby' rising temperature, looking frightened.

“I will not, Grillby! You took in two strays! One of which attacks people like some barbaric animal. Are they even-” Grillby hand clenched into a tight fist, embers shooting out as he quickly drew his arm back and punched his brother's face. Flint was knocked back, Grillby's body a blood red as his anger overtook him. He heated up the room, standing over his brother, the colour menacing. The bartender gripped his brother's shirt, pulling him toward him, expression dark.

“Don't you ever,” Grillby began, voice low and deep, “speak of my sons like that again.” The bartender growled, tightening his hold on the fabric. “The only burden I choose to keep in my life is you. These two are not some stray pet that came to my door asking for help. They are monsters like everyone in this room, except you. You, Flint, are the barbaric animal, not them. If you talk to them like that again and I will not hesitate to stomp you out.” Grillby released his hold, Flint fell back into the couch, a pale yellow. Grillby glared for a moment longer before he sat back down. The guardian glanced over at his children, worried he might have scared them. Papyrus was still buried in Sans' jacket, but the older skeleton started at Grillby with wide sockets.

“Sorry about that, Sans. I didn't want you to see that.” The guardian apologized, but Sans shook his head, letting Papyrus go so he could hold onto Grillby instead.

Sans was both terrified and amazed. He had no idea Grillby could be so scary, but that rage wasn't directed at him. His guardian was protecting him, defending his children. Sans didn't need to be afraid here, he had no reason to be defensive. Grillby was here to defend them, to save them.

“That was really cool,” Sans whispered and Grillby lets out a sigh of relief. Distracted by Grillby, Sans was unaware that Papyrus had walked over to Flint and stood in front of him, tugging on his pant leg.

“Mr. Flint?” Papyrus asked, face serious when he got the attention of the yellow flame. “I think you are very rude.” Grillby bit back a smirk while Sans watched his brother intently in case Flint decided to lash out. “I do not care what you say because it is not true. You don't know us at all yet you say such cruel things. My brother and I were never strays. We may have lived outside at one point, but not anymore. We have a home with Grillby and we live together as a family. And Sans, my brother, has never been an animal nor has he ever acted barbarically. I do not appreciate you calling him that because it makes me upset. You do not know anything about him and I never want you to. You have been mean to Grillby and you have been mean to Sans. They are both part of my family and I love them very much. So when you say such awful things, you really hurt my feelings. You are not nice and I hope that one day you can see how disrespectful you have been and apologize to everyone.” Papyrus turned away, every monster shocked by his speech.

“Pap,” Sans whispered, jaw slack.

“Auntie, thank you for the snacks. They were very tasty. You also smell nice and it's very pleasant to be in your company. You are a fantastic host, I'm sorry your husband has ruined the mood.” Papyrus told Sulfi, who was trying to process everything that was happening. “Grillby, I would like to go to our room now and start the puzzle I brought to calm down.” Grillby closed his open mouth and nodded, picking up the dazed skeleton beside him.

“I assume the spare is still the second door on the left?”

“Y-Yes, let me-” Grillby held up his hand and Sulfi stopped her attempt to stand.

“I got it, but thanks. I will be back out later, Sulfi.” Grillby said before giving his brother a firm look. “Keep this up Flint, and it's going to be a long week.” Flint looked away and Grillby leads his children to the spare bedroom. Fiora rested against the doorway, looking up from her phone as she spotted her uncle walking over to the door.

“They're more holes burnt into the carpet?” She teased and Grillby actually felt concerned, wondering if he had actually damaged the room with his temper tantrum.

“Grillby punched your dad in his face,” Sans stated and Fiora shook her head, moving out of the doorway.

“Can't say I'm surprised. So much for a nice family time, Bonnie would be so disappointed.”

“You're not going to tell her, right?” Grillby asked, his niece just shrugged. “Tattletale.” The skeleton children snickered and Fiora rolled her eyes and went off to her room. Grillby set Sans down and closed the bedroom door, not wanting to listen to Sulfi scold her husband. Papyrus removed the puzzle from his bag, setting it on the ground, resting his backpack against the bed. Sans laid next to him, his own bag tossed beside him as he watched his brother dump the pieces all over the ground. The bartender let his children be and instead unpacked his bag. The action didn't take long to do and Grillby found himself sitting with his children, watching Papyrus work out the puzzle.

“Why is your brother such a butt?” Sans asked, holding up a piece Papyrus was looking for.

“He's just overprotective and doesn't know how to deal with his emotions very well.”

“Like Sans?” Papyrus piped in, earning a light shove from his sibling.

“Kinda, but at least Sans is trying to get better at understanding things. Flint doesn't try.” Grillby said, fiddling with a piece of the puzzle before Sans took it and handed it to Papyrus.

“How is he supposed to get better if he doesn't try?” The elder skeleton brother asked aloud and his guardian let out a dry laugh.

“That's the thing, he doesn't get better. He expects others to change for him because he thinks he's right, even though he's wrong.”

“That's stupid,” Sans stated bluntly, his brother nodding in agreement.

“Yeah, I know,” Grillby grumbled, agitated that his brother couldn't understand a concept his children were able to grasp. The bartender's years of therapy and medical help had taught him a lot and gave him the patience to deal with his brother and try to understand him instead of fighting him. And now Grillby did see where Flint was coming from, but it was still no excuse. Whatever Grillby had done in the past was in the past. It had been ages since he had done anything remotely harmful to himself and he had no desire to. The flame received help and got better, but Flint was unable to see that. Flint still viewed Grillby like some ticking time bomb that would blow up if he wasn't in sight. That constant behaviour had put a lot of stress on their relationship and brought them to where they are today. Two visits a year, max, and a phone call every three months. Grillby wasn't happy with it at all, but he wasn't going to sacrifice his happiness for his brother. This rift between them might have been caused by Grillby, but he tried to fix it. Flint just kept ripping and ripping until Grillby gave up on repairs.

The bartender kept his word and returned to Sulfi later on and helped her with dinner. They all ate at the table, a bad idea considering the tension radiating off of Flint and Grillby had started to slowly suffocate everyone. Everyone but Papyrus, who tried his best to keep up the conversation. Sulfi and Fiora tried to ignore the two bruiting flames as best as they could after attempting to get them involved in the conversation but the elemental brothers remained silent. The only interaction between them was odd looks at glares. Sans had to sit next to Flint because he wanted to sit next to Papyrus. Flint would then occasionally steal a glance at the younger skeleton and Grillby would glare warningly until Flint looked away. Sans moved his chair over until it was brushing against Papyrus', uncomfortable with the staring.

Fortunately, after dinner, things were a little better. Flint went off to his study to go do something Grillby didn't care too much about and Sulfi and the boys were in the living room with Grillby. Sulfi was absolutely fascinated by the skeletons asking them question after question. Both Sans and Grillby were tense at first, but once the bartender noticed how just perplexed Sans looked he relaxed a bit.

Sans was baffled as to why Sulfi seemed to be asking every question, but the ones he thought she would. He expected her to question him like everyone else did. Where'd you get that wound? How can you do that with your magic? Why are you so skittish? But no, Sulfi asked different questions that the skeleton answered in a puzzling tone.

“When did you get your magic?”

“I've always had it?”

“Oh your right, skeletal monsters' magic starts young, you probably don't even remember when it started! How strong was it at first? Oh wait, no you probably don't remember that either. How strong is it now? On a scale of one to ten? Six? Seven?”

“Uh...”

“Sans is a ten!” Papyrus answered for him.

“I bet he is! Your kind is so fascinating! All the same, but yet so different. How many bones were in your body? Did more form as you grow older?”

“...206? No?”

“Now if only my assistant was here with me. She believes in the hypothetical origin stories of skeletal monsters like yourself, but it's just ridiculous. I'm a firm believer in the known and proven theory. I mean you are monsters, not corpses, honestly. What are your thoughts on the matter?” Sans and Papyrus both looked lost.

“Wha...” Papyrus muttered, looking at his brother for help understanding.

“I don't...” The older skeleton looked at his parent.

“Sulf, they are eleven and seven,” Grillby told the flame.

“Yes, of course. Gosh, sorry about all the questions. I'm a terasologist and to see a skeleton in Hotland is so rare. I mean, seeing one, in general, is far from normal considering most live in the capital. I think I've only seen one in my entire life and that was because we went to the same school. But never have I seen skeletal children!”

“Teras...” Papyrus tried to pronounce but failed.

“She studies monsters,” Sans told his brother.

“I do indeed! Every kind of monster there is which is why having you two here is just amazing. Grillby you really don't know how lucky you are to have these two. They are going to be so beautiful fully grown. Tall, elegant, respected, you two are very lucky.”

“I'm going to be tall?!” Papyrus gasped, sockets twinkling. Sans focused on a different word.

“Why respected?”

“Sans, skeletal monsters are very high up on the chain of monsters. You are extremely intelligent, have alarmingly high levels of magic, and you are adaptable to any environment. Plus, since your soul and magic function separately, your kind are the best protectors and fighters, even compared to boss monsters like the Kind” Sans frowned a bit at the mention of Asgore. “From a scientific point of view, your race is the perfect monster,” Sulfi stated matter of factly.

“Yes, but am I going to be tall?” Papyrus pressed and Sulfi laughed.

“Yes, Papyrus, very tall!”

“Will I be taller than Grillby?!”

“You will tower over him!” Papyrus squealed, kicking his legs against the couch. Sans sat on the couch, thinking over what Sulfi had said.

Sans wondered if he and Papyrus would grow up to be regular skeletons. Were they even normal skeletal monsters? The only other one Sans had seen was Ellen, and she thought they were normal, or at the very least they looked it. Gaster must have known what he was doing. If what Sulfi said was true, Sans and Papyrus were really the ultimate weapons he wanted. All he had to do was add a few more enhancements.

Sans shivered, shaking away the thoughts. Grillby rubbed the skeleton's back, keeping him out of his head.

The children went to bed a lot earlier than the adults, but Grillby decided to stay in his room with them. The bed they were sharing was rather small but the family is not afraid of getting too close. Both boys were currently facing away from the small light Grillby had on as he read a book he brought. His peaceful reading time was interrupted by a faint knocking. The door opened and Flint poked his head in. He spotted Grillby and then his children.

“They asleep?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

“To apologize,” Flint admitted and his brother gave him a look of disbelief.

“Did Sulfi force you to do this?” Grillby questioned, no doubt the flame had a long talk with her husband

“No, and yes. She was about ready to push me into a river, but I did come here on my own free will. Do you mind with-” Flint gestured to the lumps beside his younger brother.

“My children.”

“Yeah.”

“No, say it. Your children.” Grillby pressed, closing his book.

“You are really serious about them?”

“No, Flint. I have just been keeping them with me the past few months, so I can abandon them at some orphanage for the hell of it. Of course, I'm _raising_ them. They are now my children.” Grillby hissed, tone fading as Sans rolled over, eyes still closed.

“Fine, okay! Can we please talk away from your children?” Flint asked and the orange flame nodded. He set his book down and sat up, but he felt a small hand grip onto his shirt. Grillby glanced back at Sans who had his eyes open, watching him. His sockets were dark enough to show his exhaustion, but his pupils were bright, informing Grillby he was listening to the conversation.

“I'll be right back.” The guardian stated, waiting for Sans to let go of his shirt before the bartender fixed the covers around the two skeletons.

“Don't be too long,” Sans mumbled, shooting a dirty look to Flint before he rolled over, cuddling Papyrus. Flint held open the door for Grillby and the brother exited the door.

“Leave it on,” Grillby stated when his brother went to turn off the light. Flint agreed and started to shut the door, but Grillby stuck his foot in the doorway, preventing the action. “Door stays open.”

“They'll be fine for twenty minutes. Don't be so paranoid.”

“Don't you even dare bring up paranoia, Flint. This isn't for my sake. They like the door open if I'm not with them, so leave it open.” Grillby told his brother, giving him a stern look. Flint let go of the knob and raised his hands.

“Okay, fine, let's move to the living room then,” Flint said and the two flames migrated to the room, taking a seat. It was silent for a few moments until Grillby spoke up.

“You said something about an apology?” Flint let out the breath he was holding and nodded, running a hand over his flamed head.

“Yeah, about earlier with the kids-”

“Your kids.” Grillby corrected.

“Your kids,” Flint repeated. “I shouldn't have acted like that. It was—I was just upset. I hope I didn't offend them at all.”

“You didn't, don't worry. If you really care whether or not you offended them, you should apologize to them and not me. I'm sure you'd make Papyrus' day by doing that.”

“What about the other one?” The bartender paused for a beat.

“Don't worry about Sans,” Grillby replied.

“If I'm honest, he's the one I'm worried about the most.”

“And if I'm honest, you should be. But, if Papyrus likes you he's less likely to attack you while you're sleeping.” Flint paled in colour and Grillby snorted. “I'm kidding, jeez, the kid isn't an animal.” The younger brother stated. “But I do recommend you apologize to them both even though Papyrus will be the only one who cares. Sans loves his brother a lot and if Papyrus likes you then Sans will be polite to you in front of him.”

“And when he's not around him?”

“I'm going to be one hundred percent honest with you, Flint. The chances of you actually being alone with Sans for an extended period of time is about as high as all the lava in Hotland freezing and transforming into ice. He's either around Papyrus or around me and since he's someplace he's not familiar with, nine times out of ten, he'll be with Papyrus. All you have to do is not be a dick to my kids and you'll be fine.”

“I won't be rude to your kids, Grill,” Flint mumbled and Grillby leaned close, staring intently at his brother.

“No, listen to me, Flint. I am warning you as a parent, but I'm also informing you as my brother, be nice to my kids. Sans and Papyrus are both sweet kids, but if you offend either of them, especially Papyrus, Sans will react, most likely violently. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you Sans is harmless because he's not. He's gotten a lot better and if I had brought him here, maybe three months ago and you said what you did earlier today, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he wouldn't have tried to blow your flame out. He's improved, though, which is why I brought them. Sans may be improving, but he's still not able to deal with certain situations very well. He is very troubled and has lashed out at me, Bonnie, and even Asgore. Which is why I am telling you now because you are my family and I care about you despite how much you piss me off. Be nice to my kids.” Grillby stressed the last five words, gaze unwavering.

“Okay,” Flint said, breaking the gaze. “How'd the kid attack Asgore?”

“He came down to plant the flowers. I can't go into too much detail for Sans' sake, but he just got upset. He gets panic attacks and can have some violent flashbacks that mess up his perception of reality. I'm trying to get him help but like Papyrus said, Sans' not a fan of strangers.”

“You think he had PTSD or something? I mean, I don't know what happened to him, but he's sounds like it.” Flint pointed out but Grillby shook his head.

“Maybe, but I don't think so. The kid has been through some awful stuff, but I don't think he matches up with PTSD. He has a lot of the same symptoms I did, but it's not the same. I'd look into it more, but I honestly would have no idea where to even begin. Plus, I don't think it would do much anyways, I'd still need to get him to a therapist or something. I just need to get him to want to go.”

“Have you tried just taking him to a session?” Flint offered and Grillby chuckled humourlessly.

“Yeah, because that went over so well when you did that to me. Also, I think we might have gotten off track. You were saying something about an apology?” Flint frowned at Grillby's initial comment.

“You know I meant well-”

“Not today Flint. It is far too late and there are too many people asleep for me to do this right now.”

“Fine, but I'd like to talk.” The flame stated, earning no response from his younger brother. “Anyway, I'm sorry for being rude to your kids. I'm happy to see you are taking care of yourself and them.” Grillby waited for Flint to continue but he didn't.

“That's it?” Grillby stated in disbelief. Flint looked confused for a second.

“Yes, I'm sorry about being mean to your kids. What else is there?”

“What else?! Are you kidding me?” No apology for being rude to him? No apology for freaking out over nothing? No apology for being an overprotective ass?

“What? I don't know what else I did wrong! You should actually continue this apology though because I'm still kinda pissed you haven't apologized for not calling.” Grillby stared at his brother in disbelief. He was serious. Was he actually expecting Grillby to apologize?

“You are unbelievable.” The bartender blurted, unable to hold back his thoughts.

“How is it unbelievable? You don't seem to care at all about how worried I was!”

“Are you fucking-” Grillby stopped, clenching his hand into a tight fist. He was not going to let Flint get him upset. He would not allow himself to punch his brother again, not twice in one day. At the very least not while his children were sleeping. The last thing Grillby wants is for them to fight and wake everyone up because of it.

“Why are you getting so upset? I don't understand what I-” Flint went silent, eyes trailing off to focus on something behind Grillby. The flame followed the gaze, spotting a San's watching the two, half hidden behind the wall. Sans noticed Grillby's upset and wild flame and glared at Flint, hand curling around the corner of the wall.

“We weren't being too loud were we?” The bartender questioned his child.

“No,” Sans answered, pupils flickering to Grillby before focusing on the yellow fire element. “Stop upsetting my dad.” The skeleton demanded, having no reason to hold back his emotions.

“I didn't mean to-” Grillby held up his hand to his brother, signalling him to be quiet.

“Sans, I'm fine,” Grillby informed his son, preventing his brother from saying something that'll make the situation worse. “Please go back to bed.”

“You're angry. He made you mad.” Sans pressed, not moving from his spot.

“Yes, but it's okay. I can handle it. You don't need to get defensive. We are just talking.” Sans tore his eyes away from Flint, resting on Grillby.

“He bothers me. I don't like him.”

“He bothers me too, but he's my brother. I don't want you hurting him unless it's in self-defense.” The yellow flame scowled at his brother.

“I'm not going to hurt him, Grillby!” Flint snapped.

“Shut up, Flint.” Grillby retorted in an equally bitter tone.

“No, you are making me seem like a bad guy in front of the kid!”

“Would you shut your stupid mouth for ten minutes and let me be a parent?!” The orange flame spat. Sans growled, fingers digging into the wall, his pupils fading.

“Grill.” The elder flame muttered, body flickering between his normal yellow glow and a light shade of orange.

“Flint, calm down, right now. Do not intimidate him. Just shut the hell up and let me convince my son you aren't an asshole.” Grillby warned his brother before directing his attention to his child. “Sans.” The bartender got no response other than a barely visible cyan glow hovering around his hand.

“Grillby.” Sans voice between clenched teeth. The younger flame glanced back at his brother who was definitely a few shades darker than before.

“Flint, if you don't brighten up right now I will let him hurt you.” Grillby threatened, his brother was hesitant but his flame eventually brightened. The bartender sighed and watched Sans' magic vanish.

“Sans, kiddo, look at me please.” The skeleton obeyed, staring at Grillby. His face wavered between anger and fear. “Sans, it's fine. You don't need to be afraid. He's just an idiot. Flint didn't mean alarm you and I'm not angry at you for retaliating.” The bartender spoke calmly, trying to reassure his child.

“Self-defense.” Sans muttered and the orange flame nodded.

“Yes, it was. Which is why I'm not angry. You felt threatened and reacted, but you also told me first before you hurt him. I'm very happy you acted rationally and as calmly as you could. Thank you for doing so. Are you okay?”

“Still mad and tired.”

“Go back to bed then, I'll be right there.” The skeleton shook his head.

“Not without you.”

“Fine, I think we are done here anyways. Pap will probably wake up soon if we continue to argue.” Sans nodded in agreement, looking back at the room.

“He wouldn't like it if I hurt your brother.”

“Probably not.” Grillby agreed, too casually for Flint, who looked a bit worried. “Think over what I said Flint.” The bartender said, focusing on his brother once more. “Because I'll say this, Papyrus hates violence.” Grillby informed his brother, rising from the couch and walking over to Sans. “He'll do everything in his power to prevent a fight if it involves someone he cares about, and Sans will always listen to Papyrus over me.” The flame continued, reaching down to pick Sans up before glancing back at his brother. “So you better have a damn good apology tomorrow. Because with how you are acting, you're going to need him on your side.” Grillby finished and returned to his bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it probably blows for you guys to have less frequent updates now, but holy shit did that extra day help.
> 
> Also, made up the word terasologist because monstologist sounded too fake? So a google search of root words later, terasologist was born. also...FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!!!!
> 
> Sorry I didn't reply to a lot of comments in the last chapter, just wasn't feeling up to it. Thanks for being so nice though! Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got any questions or comments you'd like to ask :)!


	22. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah...I'm gonna hurt dem smol skels....he gonna get so hurt...
> 
> Side not: I typed in the title and laughed for a good ten seconds before staring at my cat and going "What have I done?"

Flint apologized when he returned home from work. Grillby was in the kitchen with Sulfi, preventing her from making something too hot for his children, when Flint entered his home. He greeted his wife and nodded to his brother who focused on the food. Sans and Papyrus were in the guest bedroom, keeping each other company while their guardian was busy preparing dinner. Sans glanced up as Flint passed, the flame pausing outside the door for a moment before he continued walking. He returned a few minutes later in more casual attire and less confident glow.

“What do you want?” Sans demanded, setting down the red crayon he was using. Flint shifted awkwardly under the child's intense gaze. Papyrus raised his head, noticing Flint and his joyous expression shrunk some.

“I would like to apologize for the way I acted yesterday.” Sans scoffed, but his brother looked more hopeful. As if an apology would ease Sans' conscious. Flint would have to beg for his forgiveness and even then he wouldn't accept it. Fortunately, his younger sibling was won over a lot easier than he was.

Flint's apology did sound sincere, Sans actually wanted to believe the fire element's words, but his growing hatred for him kept him from accepting his 'apology'. Whether the apology was genuine or not meant nothing to the skeleton. His opinion would only be swayed once Grillby had accepted Flint and the two no longer fought. Until that unlikely day, Sans and Flint were enemies.

Sans looked bored, wanting to act like the child he was and mock the element, but the look on Papyrus' face told the older skeleton his days of being openly rude to the flame were over.

“Do you really mean it?” Papyrus asked, eyes wide and glistening.

“Yes, I do. I am truly sorry for everything.” Papyrus grinned, scrambling to get to his feet so he could run over and hug Flint. The skeleton clung to his leg and Flint froze, not expecting the sudden affection. The flame gave Papyrus' back a few firm pats, hoping the touch would be enough for him.

“I accept your apology. I knew you weren't as bad as everyone said. You just care a lot and get frustrated, like my brother.” Papyrus eased up on his embrace and Flint sneaked a peak at Sans who watched him carefully, sockets full of hate. “Sans, Uncle Flint apologized! I told you he was nice!”

“Uncle?” Flint repeated and Sans smirked at his obvious discomfort with the word.

“You sure did, bro. Should have never doubted you for a second.” Sans grinned, waiting for Papyrus to turn away so he could glare at the yellow flame. “Papyrus sure does have a big heart, doesn't he Uncle?” Sans used the name mockingly but Papyrus did not seem to notice.

“Uncle Flint, would you like to colour with us? Oh wait, you and Grillby melt the crayons. I think I brought some markers! Oh, but they bleed through the pages.” Papyrus thought about his options and smiled, tugging on his pant leg to get the attention of Flint. “Do you want to play a game?”

“What kind of game?” Flint asked, not wanting to regret the idea immediately.

“Bro, I think he's got other things to do right now.” Sans voiced, closing the colouring book, and rising to his feet. The last thing the older skeleton wanted to do was be forced to play a game with Flint. Regardless of how Papyrus felt about him, Sans was not about to become friends with the element.

“Awe, are you busy? Can we play for a few minutes right? We can play tag! I promise we'll be careful!”

“Flint?” Sulfi called, stepping out of the kitchen. “What are you doing with the kids?” Grillby poked his head out from behind the blue flame and scowled at his brother.

“Uncle Flint is going to play a game with us!” Sulfi smiled in delight, but Grillby snorted, resting against the wall.

“Is he now?” Grillby stated in a taunting tone. Flint frowned, narrowing his eyes before he gave his brother a smug look.

“Yes, I am.” The yellow flame announced and Papyrus cheered, Sans' mouth fell open in disbelief. Flint was either doing this to get back at Grillby or to irritate Sans, or perhaps a little bit of both. Grillby's own confident expression appeared, ready to challenge his brother.

“What are you doing to play, Flinty? Monsters and humans?” Flint's smirk shrunk, not expecting to have to choose the game.

“Isn't it a bit dangerous to play outside?” The elder flame wondered and Grillby shrugged.

“Not if you keep an eye on them. Just stay in front of the house. In fact, I'll join you guys, even out the playing field.” The bartender watched Sans exit the bedroom, looking at bit annoyed.

“Let's play! Let's play! Let's play!” Papyrus cheered, grabbing Flint's hand and dragging him to the door. The older skeleton stayed behind, tugging on his guardian's shirt.

“It's hot outside,” Sans stated, hoping to avoid the game altogether. Grillby tapped Sans' jacket he still had on and motioned for him to remove it.

“Jacket off, I don't want you getting a heat stroke. I'll keep an eye on both of you. The house isn't too close to any hot spots so we should be okay. Just let me know if you're feeling too hot and we'll come back inside.”

“But, Dad,” Sans whined, hoping the name would grant him more leverage.

“Kiddo,” Grillby knelt down, resting a hand on Sans' shoulder. “I know you'd rather be doing a million other things right now than be near Flint, but I really want an excuse to beat my brother, even if it's a game. If you don't want to play you can watch, but you and I both know Pap isn't going to let that happen.” The skeleton groaned, tossing his jacket on the ground as he pouted. Grillby just led him out of the house, hoping Sans was just being stubborn and not actually upset about having to be around Flint.

Monsters and humans was a simple game. Usually, there were only one or two humans and the rest of the group of players were monsters, but the four of them were in teams of two. The humans would have to avoid the monsters like a regular game of tag. The difference between the two games was that instead of being tagged, you were gently tapped over your soul and the soul was summoned causing a fight would commence. The monster would then attack the human once with a low-level attack easy enough to dodge and low enough to not damage the human. If the human dodged the attack successfully, the fight was over and they'd be given a ten-second head start to run away from the monster. After three failed attempts the humans won, if all the humans were captured then the monsters won.

Sans was not a fan of the game at all. In fact, the skeleton would not feel ashamed for admitting he absolutely despised it. At his previous school, almost all the children loved playing monsters and humans, and it was a favoured activity in classrooms as well. It allowed the students to burn off extra energy as well as practice whatever magic they could with supervision. Sans had refused to play the game at school and when his teacher had actually forced him to go play, he shoved anyone who tried to summon his soul, eye flickering warningly. He got put in time out a lot, however, the school learned their lesson and Sans was excused from the activity after pushing three kids down and threatening to dust several others.

The skeleton was fine with Papyrus summoning his soul because no matter how hard he tried, Papyrus was always able to see his brother's soul. Sans had grown accustomed to his biggest insecurity being openly on display and only really tried to hide when Papyrus was staring at it. Papyrus knew everything about Sans, or at least everything the older skeleton was unable to hide. Sans in return knew everything about Papyrus since the skeleton wasn't one to keep secrets. The two knew each other's souls well and knew each other even more which made Sans feel safe. Sans trusted Papyrus, but Sans wasn't at the same level with Grillby and he wasn't ever going to even let Flint touch him let alone summon his soul. But thankfully, Papyrus noticed his brother's apprehension and spoke up.

“I want to be on a team with Uncle Flint!” Papyrus announced, clinging to the flame's arm. “Two against two! Sans, you and Dad can be the monsters first!” Sans fidgeted nervously.

“Bro, I don't know about this.” Although the skeleton didn't want to go against the two adults, he didn't exactly want to be on a team without Papyrus or with Flint.

“Yeah, this kinda seems unfair,” Flint admitted, motioning between the obviously stronger team.

“What's wrong, Flin? Don't want to be on a team with Pap?” Grillby asked teasingly.

“What? No, it's just-”

“It's okay, Uncle Flint! I'll handle my brother and you can handle yours!” Papyrus smiled, but the yellow flame was not completely set on the idea.

“Bro, you sure about this?” Sans pressed, rubbing his arm awkwardly as he tried to back out of the game.

“It's okay, Sans.” Papyrus took Sans' hand and flashed him a reassuring smile. “It's just you and me. Grillby will go after Flint.” Sans looked up at his guardian who was watching his brother, the two both oozed a competitive aura.

“I'm going to kick your butt,” Grillby smirked, rolling up his sleeves.

“It's a game, Grillby. Try not to get so competitive.” Flint stated, crossing his arms,

“Coming from the guy who wouldn't let me win a single game as a spark.” Flint scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Maybe if you ran faster, I wouldn't have always tagged you.”

“Oh, I'm so going to kick your ass. Sans, leave Flint to me.” Grillby told his kid, too caught up in his competitive mindset to notice the skeleton's worry. Papyrus sent a small spark of magic through their held hands before he let go.

“We get a head start! Three, two, one, go!” Papyrus and Flint took off running. Grillby bolted after his brother who looked behind him and spotted the approaching flame and kicked up his speed.

“You cheated, we get a ten-second head start!” Flint shouted.

“You count slowly.” Grillby retorted, reaching out for his soul, but Flint dodged his hand and ran. Feeling more isolated, Sans felt slightly more confident in the game knowing that it really did appear to just be him and his brother. He spotted Papyrus giggling behind a rock and grinned, chased after him. The tiny skeleton let out a loud laugh as he resumed running, glancing back occasionally to see where Sans' was.

The older skeleton could easily win the game. His brother's moves were predictable and simple. All Sans had to do was teleport in front of his brother, summon his soul, and blast him. Of course, Sans would never in a million years do that, so instead, he jogged after his brother, purposely missing when he got close enough to touch his soul. Sans usually always let Papyrus win or think he's winning...Usually.

The younger skeleton glanced behind him and skidded to a stop when he noticed his brother no longer behind him.

“Sans?” He called, looking around.

“Got you!” Sans said, appearing behind Papyrus, closing his glowing eye. Papyrus gasped and spun around giving Sans access to his soul. Gently resting two fingers over the area, Sans summoned his brother's radiant soul, his own sparking to life.

“You cheated!” Papyrus shouted once the battle had commenced.

“You never said I couldn't take shortcuts.” Sans corrected his brother who pouted. “You ready?” Papyrus took his defensive stance, ready to avoid the attack. The older sibling summoned two small bones that made their way casually over to his brother. Papyrus dodged them with ease, gloating for a few seconds before he took off running.

The first round did end up going to the monsters. Grillby had absolutely destroyed his brother, burning a large section of his back and even causing a few points of damage to his health. He apologized immediately, not wanting to actually harm his brother, but Flint's competitive nature only burned brighter. His few dots of health seeming like nothing when he thought about his revenge.

Monsters could only really be damaged life-threateningly by having their souls be summoned. The soul was their heart, their being. For most monsters, it controlled everything they were, which is why it was hidden inside the bodies and had to be called out. A regular hit only did damage to a monster's body and not their soul, but when the soul was exposed, damage could be done to their lives. Exposing your soul was a very intimate and private thing. Of course, children didn't feel that way, but as they grew older they realized how important their life source really was and then treated it with respect. Even a regular fight never involved souls because no monster ever wanted to kill another monster, just rough them up. Most exposed their souls to those they loved in a sign of deep affection and trust and that was it. Sans trusted Papyrus with his soul and even though the two fire elements fought more often than not, Grillby and Flint still trusted one another with their life.

Sans did not trust anyone else with his soul except Papyrus. His soul was weak, in both colour and strength. Papyrus knew this, but no one else. After countless failed experiments with Gaster, Sans soul was left broken beyond repair. Fortunately for Gaster, his skeleton creation didn't need his pathetic soul to fight and humans didn't need to have their souls summoned to be killed. With his soul hidden, Sans was strong. He could take numerous hits and fight back harder. With his soul exposed, he was a goner. Sans had never read or heard of anyone having a soul as pitiful as his. Monsters rarely went below five on their soul-strength stats. Sans...he remembered the days where he had twenty. He recalled the days he had ten. He recalled the days he had four. Now, he lived each day with one.

It was Sans and Grillby's turn to run and run they did. Flint and Grillby had appeared to have given up on the rules entirely and were launching fireballs at each other as Flint tried to capture his brother. Sans avoided the inferno, getting Papyrus to chase him away from the heat. Sans had dodged his brother's attack once, but it was too slow to even fake being hit by it.

Another reason Sans hated playing the game was because if he was a human, the game was unfair. Hardly anyone was able to summon an attack fast enough to actually make Sans' already fake moves seem real. Any attack faster than the speed of snail would risk destroying Sans' one health point. Sans could easily control the level of his attacks, but that's because he was trained to. Papyrus was still trying to understand his magic and his attacks that were damaged less were either unstable and too risky to use or too slow to even be called an attack. This is why the two brothers preferred tag or if they did play monsters and humans, when Sans was the human Papyrus did not summon his brother's soul, but instead they'd pretend he did so Papyrus could actually throw an attack that wouldn't kill his brother.

“Bro, come on, you don't have to do this. Just play it our way.” Sans begged, watching Papyrus summon his soul after he was caught, actually by surprise this time.

“But we are playing it the right way this time.”

“They aren't.” Sans motioned to the flames he heard behind him.

“Yeah, but we are. Come on I got a better one this time.”

“Fine, but if it misses we are playing our way, okay?” Papyrus agreed, his soul out and ready, a glowing beacon of hope compared to Sans dull lump of a soul. “Alright, ready when you a-” Sans was cut off when Flint collided into him, knocking both of them down. The skeleton sat up, glaring at Flint, ignoring Grillby who screamed out his name.

Time seemed to both speed up and slow down at the same time. Grillby watched in horror as the fireball he launched at Flint now was on a direct path to Sans, who's soul was exposed in front of him. The bartender was unable to read the soul, but he knew the attack he launched was not one he'd ever use on his child. The flame called out to Sans, telling him to duck, but the skeleton was too busy recovering from his fall to listen. Grillby's body wouldn't move fast enough, his attack on a direct line to his son.

Sans was suddenly shoved aside by his brother. He grunted as he fell back down to the hard ground, a bit agitated to be constantly knocked around. He pushed himself up once more, a look of annoyance on his face as he turned and frowned at his brother.

“Pap, why did you-” Sans' went numb. Papyrus was crouched down, cradling his arm to his chest, face scrunched up in pain, tears threatening to fall. Sans' wide and empty sockets stared for a few seconds, his soul dark and still before his panic set in. “Papyrus?!” Sans shouted, running over to his brother, hands hovering over him, afraid to touch him. “Papyrus? Pap? Bro? Please, are you okay?” Sans was crying his soul fading out in colour, but his unstable magic began shooting sparks off the soul.

“I'm fine,” Papyrus whispered, clutching the arm. His voice was trembling, obviously trying to hold back his tears. “It's fine.” Sans reached out for his brother's soul and cradled it like it was the most important thing in the whole world, because to him it was. Sans scanned the soul, examining it for marks and reading the damage that had been received.

11/20.

This is the lowest Sans had ever seen his brother's health before. Almost half his health was gone, he was almost halfway dead. What if he had died. Sans’ pupils faded at the thought. His brother had been hurt. His brother had been hurt because of him. Sans wasn't paying attention and Papyrus saved him. Papyrus, Sans' amazing, talented, and incredible brother saved Sans, a pathetic, useless, waste of existence. Why? Why had he done that? Why had Sans allowed this to happen? How could he allow his brother, his world, to be hurt so badly?!

“Papyrus are you-” Dirt crumbled behind him and Sans acted instantly, returning their souls and body blocking his brother, form defensive.

“Don't touch him!” The skeleton shouted his left socket flickering. His brother was hurt, he needed help. Everything around him was dangerous, Grillby, Flint, everyone.

“Sans, please I need to make sure he's okay.” Grillby pressed, trying to reach around Sans, but the skeleton growled, shoving Grillby to the ground.

“Don't touch him!” He repeated, stepping closer to Papyrus.

“Sans, I'm fine. Don't be mean.” Papyrus demanded, rising to his feet but still clutching his arm. Sans spun around hands delicately checking his brother for more injuries but only his arm appeared to be injured.

“Papyrus, let me see,” Sans demanded, nudging his younger siblings hand.

“I'm okay. It just hurt a little.” Papyrus moved his hand and exposed the burnt bone. Sans let out a shaky breath, no longer thinking rationally. He was hurt. It was his fault. Sans should have taken the hit. He should have been paying attention. What if Papyrus had died because of him? How could Sans live with himself if his brother risked his life to save Sans’ useless one? He couldn't. No, Sans would never let this happen again. He was supposed to protect his brother. He was supposed to be the big brother, Papyrus' hero. He failed, but never again. No one was going to hurt his brother, no one would be allowed near his brother. Papyrus was his and his alone. No one loved him like Sans did. No one knew his brother like he did. No one would ever be able to understand and care about his brother like Sans did. No one. No one, but him, everyone else was a threat.

**“Eliminate the threat.”**

Sans heard the dry earth shift from someone behind him and he lashed out.

“Get away!” He shrieked, two pointed bone attacks being launched at Grillby and Flint. The flame brothers jumped out of the way as the bone pierced the ground. Flint remained far away, backing away even more but Grillby stood his ground, inching closer to Sans, hands held up in a sign of peace.

“Sans, please. Let me help. Papyrus needs help.”

**“He hurt him.”**

“He didn't mean to,” Sans muttered to himself, the last amount of his sanity trying to win over his growing anxiety.

 **“He hurt your brother. He could have killed him and all that would remain would be a pile of dust.”** Sans hands trembled, his breathing becoming erratic.

 **“B͏u͢t͠ tḩat ҉wo͠u̷ld̴ b̷e͠ ͘your͞ fa̛ult̛, wouldn̢'t̢ i͝t̸?”** A second voice chimed in and Sans flinched.

“Shut up!” Sans demanded, despite no one around him actually speaking. Grillby was an amber-ish orange, shades of maroon flicking through his flame. Sans was hallucinating. Right in front of him, his child was hearing or possibly even seeing things that weren't there. Witnessing this terrified Grillby beyond belief.

“Sans?” Grillby called, hoping to get his child's attention.

**“Do̶ yǫu̵ se͡e ̴it, ̸Sans̶?̵ D͞o ̛ýou̵ f́ee͟l th̷e̶ ̛d҉u͢st o҉f̷ y͡o͏u̶r bro͝t́h҉er, slip̕p͡įng ̶b͝etween ̧y̛ou̷r fin̵g͞ers?̨ D̕o yo̡u ̧smell i͢t̛ ̶i͏n̨ ̀th͡e a̕ir͜?̵ Hi͏s͝ ̷bo̸d̢y c̴oát́in͏g ̷the͞ ҉o͡nl͟y ̨per̛so̡n ̶ḩe̛ lo͞v͠ed,̸ even if ̨th͠at͢ sǫm̶e͢one͟ w̵a̕s͏ the̛ re͏a̛s͏on͏ he̷ ͘d̸ied̀?”**

**“Pathetic.”**

Sans had gone still. His eyes were locked on the ground and he could see it. He could see the dust piled around his feet. He could feel it sprinkled across his body and face. He could smell it, taste it, feel it. Sans lifted his hands and stared in horror at the dust that slipped through his fingertips.

 **“This is all...”** The familiar voice spoke to Sans' left. The skeleton heard the figure before him step closer. He lifted his head, empty sockets locking onto to the fire element.

 **“H͏i̡s͏ ҉f͞aùl̨t͏.”** The new voice finished to his right, and Sans snapped. The world around him spun and swirled, the only thing remaining still was the orange flame in front of him. Sans didn't know where he was, but the light source in front of him shined bright, taunting him.

“This is all your fault,” Sans whispered, face blank and emotionless. “You hurt him.” Grillby looked guilty, Sans stepped closer. “You killed him.”

“Sans, no one is dead,” Grillby informed his child, but Sans refused to believe him. He was no longer in their reality. “Papyrus is right behind you, just look. You are hallucinating. Please, look behind you, Sans.” Sans refused to look back at the pile of dust. He could feel it on him, he didn't need to be reminded of the pile that was once his baby brother.

 **“I͠t̵'s yo͢ųr ̛fáu͢lt he'͟s ͘de̷ad͝,͏ Sánşy҉. B̢ut, ̸i͏t'̛s ̢no͢t̴ ͝to͞o ̡l̵a͡t̸e t͞o҉ ̢r̡etu̢rn ̢t͠hé fav̸our.”** Return the favour? What did that mean?

Sans felt his head snap in the direction of the older flame who stood far away, fading in and out of Sans' distorted vision.

Oh, that's what they meant. Return the favour. Revenge. An eye for an eye. They took his little brother, so Sans would kill his.

**“Attack.”**

Sans hand sparked as a cyan aura encased his hand. His hearing was blocked by the voice echoing inside his skull. With the wave of has, hand three large bones were sent in Grillby's direction. The flame dove out of the way, looking back to where Papyrus now stood alone.

“Grillby, behind you!” Flint shouted, rushing over to his brother. The orange flame spun around, and Sans stood his hand raised, two large blasters pointed at him. Flint pushed his brother aside, the two falling onto the ground. Sans’ blast missed but he recovered, summoning a large femur that hovered over Grillby and Flint, ready to impale them. The voices were now screaming, ordering Sans to attack. As the bone lowered Flint summoned a large flame that overpowered Sans' attack and knocked him back.

“Flint, stop! Don't hurt him!” Grillby demanded, but Flint ignored his brother, standing protectively in front of him. The energy oozing out of Sans was overwhelming. He had too much magic and not enough stability to hold it back. The skeleton blinked behind the flames, a bone appearing in his hand that he used to bash the orange flame's leg, causing him to fall over with a shout. Flint cursed, and turned around, firing a flame at where Sans was but the skeleton was no longer there. Sans appeared in front of them and Flint manifested a large wall of fire, pushing the shield in the direction of the insane attacker. Sans created his own blockade, forcing it past the flames, and killing the defensive shield. The experiment created another wall behind the elements, pushing them against it and summoning two more, trapping them. He stepped forward, curling up his hand and yanking it back, dragging the two monster's souls out of their body. 

**“B͏l̀às̢t t̛hem͞, S̷an̸s̵y̷! D͝u͏s͢t ̸t́h҉e̴m͏. Du͡s̛t͡ t̛hem̵!̕ ̀”**

**“Summon blasters, one hundred percent.”**

Sans' eye twitched, his glowing magic nearly consuming his face as he started to raise his hand, but something held onto his arms. Sans looked down at the two arms that held him and frowned. Bone? Why was there…

“Sans, stop!” Papyrus pleaded, ignoring the agony he was in to squeeze his brother tighter. Sans tried moving his arm again but the grip was too tight.

 **“Stop it,”** Sans ordered, squirming around. Why was he doing this? Sans was doing this for him! He was avenging his brother, making sure the ones who hurt him were punished. They deserved to be punished. They needed to be destroyed

“No Sans! Stop please, don't hurt them! Stop this please!” Papyrus was now crying and Sans stopped squirming. Why was he crying? Didn't he want this?

**“S-...Stop. Let go.”**

**“Sans, please.”** Papyrus cried in the language only they knew. Sans flinched, his distorted view shifting, allowing Papyrus to crawl through and save him

“...Pap?” Sans grasp on reality was returning, but still horribly altered by his mental state. He knew Papyrus was behind him, holding him. He was safe, alive. He was dead, Sans swore he was, but not anymore? It didn't matter. He didn't care how or why his brother was safe and living and that's all he cared about. The attacks around the flames vanished along with Sans' glowing eye. His sockets were empty, still unsure of anything other than Papyrus.

Where was he? It felt hot but why? Images flashed around him, the large rock a few meters away morphed, changing to the door to the lab, the couch in their Snowdin home, then back to the dry chunk of earth. Nothing made sense, nothing was real. He felt like he was sweating but why was he sweating in Snowdin? Why was the operation table Gaster used in Hotland? Why was he wearing a shirt in the labs? Where was his itchy gown? Where was his jacket? Where was he?

Sans wobbled on his feet, clinging onto his brother for support. He blinked rapidly, pupils vanishing and returning as he tried to focus and ground himself. The skeleton raised his head and spotted the two panting flame and squinted. Flames? Why? Where? He tried to take a step forward, hand extended outward but the yellow light launched an attack in front of him, stopping him.

“No!” Sans flinched, cowering away from the booming voice. Sans was filled with dread as the unfamiliar earth world that had begun to form around him melted away into the labs. Sans stood in the operation room, standing by the door as the form in front of him waited where Gaster would be. He was furious. What had Sans done? This figure before him, it didn't look like Gaster, but that tone sounded like him. No one but the Doctor spoke to Sans like that. It had to be him.

How was he here? Why was he asking that question? Of course, he'd be here, where else did he belong but in the labs? An experiment, a weapon, Gaster's creation.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?!” A recognizable voice shouted and the scared skeleton sought out the voice. That wasn't Gaster, but it wasn't Papyrus. Who was that voice? A figure appeared by the new Gaster and shoved him roughly aside. Sans gasped, the lab room shattering as the orange flame focused more into view. Sans did know him. He was nice. He was good! He'd protect them. He cared about them. A protector. Saviour. Guardian. Guardian!

“Dad?” Sans whispered voice scared and confused. The guardian looked at him, his comforting flame so calming, helping the skeleton regain focus. He reached out for the guardian but the new Gaster glared, flame a blood red and large, threatening Sans.

“Get away from him.” The flame growled, scaring Sans. The skeleton obeyed instantly, scurrying away so quickly he fell over, socket's filling with tears. That commanding tone that warned Sans to obey or suffer. It only belonged to Gaster. Sans' mind was mixed, unable to tell reality from hallucination. All he knew was this Gaster threat towered over him, form shifting and altering as the skeleton's magic flowed uncontrollably. Was this Gaster? No, it wasn't. But could it be? He didn't know. That tone was unmistakable. Sans obeyed that tone, Sans clung to every word that tone said to him. The voice was mad at him, Sans had messed up. He didn't know what, but it was his fault. It was always his fault.

“I'm sorry.” He muttered, afraid to raise his voice. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” Sans began to repeat, tears slipping down his cheeks, bones rattling.

“Sans?” Papyrus called, resting a hand against Sans' chest. The skeleton didn't react, only continue to apologize, pinprick pupils watching Flint who no longer appeared threatening.

“Get away from my son!” Grillby shouted, yanking his brother away from his child and throwing him aside. “Sans? Sans, it's okay. Everything is fine.” Grillby stated, crouching down next to his child who had begun hyperventilating.

Sans was scared, angry, confused, relieved, isolated, horrified and numb. He was feeling too many things. Too many thoughts intruded his head, all screaming different commands and orders. Attack Grillby. Check Papyrus. Run. Obey Flint. Cry. Await order. Scream. Call out for help. Call Papyrus. Go home. Pass out. Attack. Submit. Panic. Where was he? The labs? Labs. Why? How?

He felt a hand rest against his shoulder and violently flinched, a cry of fear escaping him.

“Sans, it's okay.” The orange flame's voice was calm and soothing to Sans. Sans knew him, Sans trusted him. He was their guardian, their dad. He was their friend. He---He hurt Papyrus. No, it was an accident. Friend. Safe. Dad. Safe. Safe…

“Brother?” Sans head turned around, looked at Papyrus. Papyrus. Alive. Safe. Hurt.

“A-Arm,” Sans mumbled, trembling hands extending out to examine the wound. He was hurt. Sans needed to help him. Sans was afraid. Someone could hurt his brother, someone had. Calm down. Safe. Alive. Help.

“Sans, let's go inside, okay? We need to help Papyrus, right?” Grillby spoke slow, the skeleton was watching him pupils fading in and out. Grillby tried to reach out to pick him up, but Sans whimpered, backing away, eyes flickering in fear.

“D-Don't hurt him. N-No-” Flint stepped forward as Sans screamed, magic sparking defensively. The skeleton curled in on himself, hand clutching his brother's shirt, a small sob escaping him.

“Go away!” Papyrus barked, turning away from Flint who looked hurt. Grillby tried his best to ignore the whimpers and cries Sans' let out as he picked up both skeletal children, cradling them against his chest. Sans clung to Papyrus, sobbing into his brother's jacket, muttering apologies.

“Grill-”

“Stay the hell away from me,” Grillby told his brother without facing him, voice far too calm and almost menacing. Grillby left his brother outside and went in. Sulfi was on the couch looking over some work when the flame barged in. She looked up from her paperwork and took in the crying children.

“Grillby, what happened!?” Sulfi gasped, rising to her feet. She advanced forward, but Grillby backed away, Sans' muttering growing louder at the sound of a new voice and Grillby tightened his hold on him.

“Keep your husband away from my children and out of my sight,” Grillby told the blue flame, marching past her. “Fi!” The bartender called and his niece poked her head out of the room.

“What do you-Oh, whoa, what happened?”

“Get me your burn kit, please. Leave it outside the door.” Fiora nodded and went to retrieve the kit. Grillby tried to set Papyrus down alone, but Sans held onto his brother for dear life, giving the bartender had no choice but to set both children down on the bed. The fire element dashed around the room, grabbing Sans' parka, a stuffed animal, and a light blanket. He set the items down in front of the skeletons and knelt down calling Sans' name a few times to get his attention.

“I'm sorry.” Sans voice was broken and small.

“It's fine Sans, see? Look, I have your jacket.” Sans opened a teary socket, looking at the blue clothing article. “Do you want me to help you put it on?” The skeleton nodded and Grillby draped the hoodie over Sans' shoulders slowly and carefully, his arms always in Sans' line of sight. There was a soft knock on the door and Grillby saw Fiora set the kit down and back away. The bartender got up and grabbed the kit, returning to his children.

“Sans? I need you to do something really important for me, okay?” The skeleton did not respond, but his eyes were on his guardian. “First, I need you to tell me how you are feeling. Please be honest, I won't be mad.”

“I don't know,” Sans answered and Grillby nodded.

“Okay, Sans? Papyrus is hurt. You know this right? We need to help him, you and me, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

“We need to go to the bathroom, alright? I'm going to pick you both up, but I need you to hold this for me, okay? It's medicine for Papyrus, it's safe. Can you handle that, Sans?” Grillby held out the kit and Sans peeled his arms off his brother and reached for the kit and cuddled the case instead of his brother. The bartender carried his children to the bathroom and shut the door, he set Papyrus down on the sink and turned on the faucet. Sans sat on the other edge of the sink and held Papyrus' arm under the cold water while Grillby opened the kit and began removing a range of different products.

Sans focused on his brother and his burn. His world was spinning and kept flashing between settings, but the one thing that never changed was Papyrus, who kept his brother grounded. Holding his hand, feeling his magic, tending to his wound, Sans was here with Papyrus. Where was here? It didn't matter. He had Papyrus. Sans was unable to hold still and remain calm, but the small shred of sanity that remained was calling Papyrus and was his body was fuelled by it.

Sans had to take care of Papyrus' injury. Due to the severity of the burn, Grillby was afraid to touch it. The skeleton's hands trembled, making the wrapping a bit hard to do, but Papyrus helped keep his hand steady as Grillby stated clearly what Sans needed to do. When the wound was wrapped, Sans was crying tears of joy, relieved his brother was okay. The bartender carted his children back to the room, tilting Sans out of view when he spotted his brother and Sulfi in the living room, voices hushed. He shut the door behind him and sat himself and the boys on the bed. The bartender immediately got to work, swaddling Sans' in the hoodie, handing Papyrus his stuffed animal, and wrapping the two up in a blanket.

Grillby looked the two over, taking in their exhausted faces. They were both no doubt tired, emotionally drained, and possibly even a bit feverish from all the movement and heat. The bartender wanted nothing more than to let his children nap, but he couldn't help but stare at Sans who shook as if he was standing in the Snowdin cold without a jacket. His sockets were larger than normal, appearing to almost swallow the rest of his facial features by how empty and dark they appeared to be. His pupils were nearly gone, fading in and out as Papyrus moved or spoke. Sans appeared lost when he looked at anything but his brother he seemed either confusion or fearful. Grillby felt his soul rip in half when Sans eyes handed on him and began to waver, terrified. Grillby needed to help Sans, but he wasn't entirely sure how. Whatever had happened to him was an experience Grillby had never seen before. He had no idea how to even go about trying to reassure his child, but that doesn't mean he couldn't try.

“Sans?” The skeleton's half lidded eyes snapped open, darting up to look at Grillby. “Are you okay?” Sans swallowed, eyes traveling down to look at Papyrus who was asleep.

“I don't know.”

“Can you tell me what you are feeling right now?” Grillby tried but got the same answer.

“I don't know.”

“Okay, that's fine.” The guardian reassured, voice remaining calm and collected. “Can you tell me where you are right now?” The brother took in the room pupils vanishing and returning as he scanned the room. They landed on Grillby and for a long moment, the skeleton looked perplexed before he opened his mouth to speak, his face morphing into a look of dismay.

“I don't know.” The bartender took in a deep breath, forcing a smile on his face to prevent Sans from seeing his growing concern.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“Win-” The skeleton went quiet, staring at the wall ahead as if someone was there. Grillby glanced behind him and spotted nothing “...Sans.” The older skeleton answered eventually.

“What about him.” Grillby pointed to Papyrus and Sans responded a lot quicker.

“Papyrus.”

“Me?” Another long beat of silence passed.

“Ga-....” The skeleton's trembling dots of life scanned Grillby's face as if it had the answer to the question. “Dad?” Grillby's smile fell slightly, but he tried not to look too discouraged.

“Yes, but do you remember my name?” Sans fidgeted, fingers tightening around the fabric of the purple blanket and toes curling in the sheets.

“D-...Dad?” The skeleton tried again, voice barely audible and eyes watering.

“It's fine, don't cry. I am your dad. Don't worry, it's fine.” Grillby breathed, a hand running down the side of his face and across the back of his neck. Sans relaxed slightly and the bartender began his next question. “Can you tell me what is on the wall behind me? The whole wall, furniture and everything, okay?” Sans looked behind Grillby, scanning the wall and nodding.

“There's a dresser in the left corner and a shelf above it. It has photo's on it and a shiny rock. T-There's also a desk with...” Sans stared at the backpacks on the desk. His vision blurred, flashing images of his desk in Snowdin and Gaster's counter in the lab. He blinked rapidly, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them to look at the backpacks again. His backpack. Papyrus' backpack. His stuff. Their stuff. Their room-No, the guest room. In a house- Whose house? Why was he here? Wait, he was talking. About what? A question, about the backpacks? Who asked it?

Sans looked at his guardian, his pupils growing larger as his memory returned to him. Grillby asked it. This was Grillby's house? No, his family's house. Visit, they were visiting. He was in Hotland, visiting Grillby's family! Why had he forgotten that?

“...Grillby?” Grillby's arms twitched at his side, every ounce of energy in him held back to not scare his child by a sudden embrace.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

"Where's-" Sans looked down at Papyrus and relaxed. "Pap..."

"Sans? How do you feel?" Grillby asked and Sans thought over his answer. Slowly his shoulders raised and fell, his sockets drooping.

“My head hurts.” Grillby was emotionally spent. His nerves and panic had caused him to start laughing. Sans was extremely confused, but Grillby pulled him into a tight hug that he allowed.

“Ha, it's fine. Everything is okay.” Grillby spoke aloud, more for himself than anyone else. Sans started to get too hot under his jacket, blanket, and Grillby. He fidgeted, but the guardian made no move to let go and Sans pushed against him slightly.

“Grillby, it's too hot.” Sans voiced and Grillby sighed but let go. His orange flame was one of the softest shades Sans had ever seen. His mind and emotions were too fried to process the entire day, but Sans still wondered why Grillby looked frantic.

“Get some sleep, kiddo. You are probably exhausted.” Sans looked down at his brother who was fast asleep and nodded. He laid down next to him, draping an arm over his brother to hold onto him. Grillby tucked the extra blanket around them, knowing they'd probably kick it away in their sleep anyways.

“You tired too?” Sans asked as he yawned. Grillby shook his head, stroking both his children's skulls.

“I'm fine, don't worry. Just go to sleep. I'll be right here the entire time, I promise.” The skeleton yawned once more, eyes drifting shut. “I promise,” Grillby muttered, thumb gently tracing soothing circular patterns on the skeleton's skull, lulling him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't study how fucked up your brain can get in their spare time, let me tell you (you're missing out!) when someone is hallucinating (mainly visually, but also audible too) the best thing to do to help them calm down is 1) Stay calm yourself. 2) Try to get them (for visual usually) to return to reality. Get them to tell you what is outside the window or around the room 3) See if they are actually hallucinating still and if they are tell them they are hallucination. But, do NOT aruge with them and force them to believe it is fake. To them it is real and you saying "It's not real! It's all fake!" makes matters worse. 4) Reasurance. Reasurance. REASURANCE! It's about THEM and getting THEM better. 5) And lastly, you are going to have to say their name and get them to respond to you as best as they can. This is both experience and research talking but sometimes people do NOT want to be touched when they are freaking out so all you can do to keep them grounded is call out to them and do it often. Even if it may seem annoying and repetative, you are getting them to focus on you and to calm down. Your sentances could just be "Hey, Sans? Sans, I need you to respond, Sans. Please, either speak or give me a sign, okay, Sans? Sans, please blink twice for me if you understand, okay Sans?" Said Sans name like 6 times but to the person panicking all they can hear sometimes is "------Sans-------Sans-----Sans----". And panicked or not, 9/10 the person will respond even if it's to tell you to shut up.
> 
> Also the soul bit and what not is kinda just my person thoughts on it? Undyne was able to summon her spears without starting a fight and Papyrus had has special attacks and what not in his room so obviously you can use magic without starting a fight but I feel like to do real damage the soul has to get involved. Again, just my person thoughts on it all, hope it made sense.
> 
> Sorry if the ending seems a bit sudden? Unfinished. I didn't want to go into a big deal about the recovery just yet and also, not too sure how many of you guys have ever had a giant mental attack or just exhausting day, but when it's all over you are out like a light. So the sudden ending although may not feel right (maybe just to me but who knows) it actually makes the most sense (without me adding another five pages of misery).
> 
> Thank you all so very much for the lovely comments, kudos, all that jazz. It really makes me day.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you got any questions or comments you'd like to ask :)!


	23. Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never in all my years of writing (almost 7 years)...have had such a hard time actually just writing a chapter because it was too sad. This chapter was so fucking heavy for me that I actually had to stop writing for a day because I was tearing up..shit dude. All the other ones, naw man, that shit's for babies. It's just a little insanity, little depression here and there...but this shit man...fuck a duck...I'm gonna go lay down...
> 
> You're a trooper for editing this for me Hannah...
> 
> (I forgot to post this[ fanart ](http://mlg-fox.deviantart.com/art/Hearing-Voices-FAN-ART-593899924?ga_submit_new=10%253A1456788440'>%20fanart%20</a>%0A%20Sorry!!\)%20<a%20href=))

Grillby couldn't ever recall a time in his life where he had felt this type of pain before. He had been depressed and was all too familiar with the suffocating sorrow that came with it. He knew all about the incurable numbness that sucked away every emotion, leaving nothing but a hollow shell behind. Grillby knew about pain, about loss, about misery, but never had his entire body felt this type of agony. In the past, if he had begun to feel too depressed his body would just stop feeling altogether. He wished he could be numb now, but deep down Grillby felt like he deserved this.

He watched his children sleep for a while, occasionally stroking their backs or skulls. Sans twitched often, fingers curling or face scrunching up as if he was in pain. Papyrus would nuzzle his brother, a flickering glow appearing around his hand that hung onto Sans' shirt over where his soul was. Grillby turned away when Sans whimpered quietly, unable to face his children who clung to each other for support. Their souls reaching out to one another to ensure they were okay and safe, a faint light illuminating where Sans' soul was made Grillby's own soul ache.

Sans' soul. Grillby had only seen it for a few seconds, but even from where he stood, he finally realized why Papyrus and Ellen had worried so much about it. His soul looked so fragile, so small. If that attack had hit him…

Grillby shivered, squeezing his eyes shut. No, he couldn't even bring himself to think of that. This was all his fault. How could he be stupid enough to suggest that game? Grillby knew how Sans felt about his soul, yet he ignored him. He was so caught up in his stupid drive to beat his brother that he neglected his child. Grillby should have known, he should have done something. Sans wasn't trying to avoid the game because of Flint or the heat, he was self-conscious and scared. The skeleton turned to Grillby, looking for help but the flame dismissed him. He even led his child outside, telling him he had no choice and that Papyrus would make him play even if he didn't want to. The bartender was disgusted with himself.

He should have never gone outside. He should have never suggested the idea. He should have listened to his son. He should have been a better fucking parent, but instead, he was selfish. His neglect damaged his children both mentally and physically. His attack severely burnt Papyrus and did an unknown amount of damage to his soul. He caused Sans to hallucinate. He caused Sans to panic. It was his fault Sans lashed out. He should have been more alert. He shouldn't have allowed Flint to attack and yell at Sans. He should have calmed Sans down more. He should have acted like the father his children thought he was. This entire trip was a bad idea. Grillby should never have brought his children down to see his family. They weren't ready, Sans wasn't ready. He had come so far, progressed so much and now he was even worse than before. Grillby could only imagine the horrors that awaited the child when he woke up. Would he know where he is? Would he remember what happened? Would he be hearing things? Seeing things? He'll be so scared, and Grillby was to blame.

The bartender removed his glasses and tossed them aside, resting his head in his hands. His throat felt tight and his shoulders trembled slightly, an unbearable amount of sorrow taking over his soul. His being ached, and the fire element wanted to scream. The thought of Papyrus waking up with his arm stinging and soul damaged made the bartender's hands curl up, pressing against his face. Imagining how terrified Sans would be, voices in his head, reality no longer stable, body wracked with guilt no doubt blaming himself for everything that happened, it overwhelmed the element. He was unable to suppress the soft sob that escaped him. His hand quickly covered his mouth as he looked over at his children. Still asleep, good, they needed rest and Grillby-...he didn't know if he was strong enough to hold back his emotions when his children woke up.

The fire element needed to leave. He needed to take his children and leave Hotland, maybe never to return. Sans needed someone, someone better than Grillby and Papyrus would no doubt be happier back home. His arm would not sting as much in the Snowdin weather which would set the entire family's minds to ease. But Grillby didn't dare wake up his children, they needed to sleep. Grillby would have their things packed before they woke up, but until then all the flame wanted to do was protect his children like he should have and wallow in his misery.

No coping method worked for him right now. All those years of therapy were useless. He couldn't lie and tell himself he wasn't to blame because he was. He had no one else to blame but himself. He had no hope because he had hurt his biggest source of inspiration and motivation. Grillby couldn't relax and feel like the worst part was behind him because he knew a storm was forming right beside him. He couldn't run, couldn't hide, and he wasn't brave enough to face his problems just yet. Flint was right, Grillby did run and ignore his problems. It's because he ran off to Snowdin that this all happened. If Grillby faced his brother and forced him to listen, they could be civilized with each other. The fight wouldn't have happened, the apology wouldn't be needed, the entire incident would never have existed. But it wasn't that simple, no, of course, it wasn't. Grillby had to be a coward. He was too stubborn and pissy to listen to his brother and family so he left thinking he'd get better. Years passed and he only got worse, he still didn't get help because he was too selfish to see the truth. Even when the flashbacks were so bad Grillby was no longer able to sleep, he still kept to himself.

That's when he attempted suicide for the first time. Grillby was up before anyone else in the town, standing far too close to the edge of the deeper section of the river. Gazing down at the rippling water, his thoughts were plagued with negativity and hate. This isn't what he wanted, to be honest, but it was his only solution. Grillby just wanted it all to stop, the pain, his feelings, his life. He only wished his death could have been less painful. The flame lifted his leg and felt his body begin to lose balance, tilting forward into the river below. He closed his eyes, body tensing as he waited for his body to be charred. Grillby was suddenly yanked back by his collar, preventing him from falling into the river. He landed on top of someone, too stunned to move or speak as the figure stood up and helped the fire element to his feet.

That was the day Grillby first met Bonnie. She was a lot younger then, either just out or school or entering college, he couldn't remember. Grillby had expected her to scold him like Flint would, but she didn't. Grillby waited for her to scream all the horrid words he called himself every day, but she didn't. Instead, her soft eyes looked over Grillby, making sure he was okay before she started to cry and pulled him into a tight hug. She didn't ask why and she didn't make him speak. All the bunny did was hold him in a tight embrace, quietly sobbing until she pulled herself together.

Bonnie took Grillby back to his small home and called Flint. Grillby was too numb to care who she called or told and just answered the few questions she asked. She had no idea at the time the relationship between the two was so bad. Flint came down and was furious at his brother, he shouted and shouted, flame burning holes in the roof and floor until he noticed how lifeless Grillby looked. His flame was low, dark in color, eyes vacantly staring at the floor, he looked as pathetic as he felt. Then Flint's rage turned to worry, he thanked Bonnie for saving his brother's life and took Grillby back to Hotland. He forced the flame into group therapy sessions and multiple different programs the King had started to help those who were suffering from the traumas of the war. Grillby went to all of them but did not participate. He sat and listened to the other monsters talk, he listened as his therapist told him that it was okay to feel sad sometimes but he could get better, he always just listened and never spoke.

“How are you doing today, Grillby?” Terrible. “Are you still feeling suicidal?” Yes. “Do you still have flashbacks about the war?” Daily. “You know I'm here to help you, right? I want to help you get better, Grillby. Can you tell me how I can do that?” Kill me.

Grillby's lack of improvement and will to get better frustrated Flint beyond belief. He would call Grillby selfish and heartless one second and then the next ask if he was okay and if he needed to talk. The constant mood-swings had been the cause of Grillby's next downward spiral. When Flint shouted, Grillby began shouting louder. When Flint apologized, Grillby got annoyed and because he was annoyed Flint got angry once more and start screaming and the cycle would start again. The constant fighting only made Grillby's flashbacks and depression worsen. It had gotten to the point where he'd begun hearing phantom voices or screams, sometimes they sounded like people he knew and watched die, other times he didn't recognize the sounds.

The voices and toxic environment led to Grillby's second suicide attempt. To be honest, Grillby didn't remember doing it at all. All he remembered was that he was lost in a flashback. He was suffocating as the dust of his fellow comrades surrounded him along with the smell of burning flesh. Shrieks of terror and agony rang in his head, echoing around him as the battle commenced. He saw a large human male stand before him, face half burnt and large spear in his hand. Grillby felt the familiar tug of his soul being pulled from his body and the human drew back their spear and plunged it into him. Grillby had awoken from his terror and was in the hospital. Flint was by his side but refused to tell Grillby what happened. Flint only sobbed, begging to know why Grillby had done it and how he could help. Flint apologized constantly, he apologized for being a terrible brother, for not noticing sooner, for not helping, for not being enough, everything Grillby had ever done Flint apologized even though it wasn't his fault. It was smothering the orange flame. They no longer fought even though Grillby only ever shouted or was enraged by his brother. Flint only ever looked at him with pity and concern. It eventually became too much to handle and Grillby fled his homeland for the second time.

He wanted a fresh new start, something big to distract him from his mental state, but also a reason to stay away from Hotland for good. So, be made his bar. Snowdin was the oldest of the towns outside the Ruins, but it was still expanding much like the rest of the Underground. The war had happened long ago, but the memories and hardships lasted long beyond the end of the war. For a long time, monsters relied on the trash the humans would throw down or misplace. Then the Ruins got too small, so they expanded and expanded until they reached where they were today. The barrier was still there, but they had an entire mountain to work with. Numerous metals and rare minerals were found and with the help of magic and science, bit by bit their new home, rightfully titled New Home, was slowly coming along nicely. Grillby was able to ask for a small amount of aid from Asgore, the King was very insistent on rewarding all those who survived the war, almost demanding them to come to him whenever they needed. With his help and the aid of a few members of Snowdin, Grillby's bar was complete. It soon became a local hot stop for the town, and everyone who lived there would come by for either a place to rest or just to chat with the locals. For a long time, Grillby had repressed and ignored his troubles and only focused on getting his bar together and functioning, and it seemed to work.

Flint had come by to try to persuade his brother to go back home, but Grillby rejected him and told him he was happy and better here than with him. Regardless of the lie, Flint eventually left Grillby to do his own thing, but in his place, Bonnie returned to Grillby's life. She seemed overjoyed to see Grillby alive and seemingly well, but Grillby felt a little awkward around her for a long time. Bonnie was the only one in all of Snowdin who knew about Grillby's depression and attempted suicide and that made him uncomfortable. He had slowly begun to hear about how social and open the bunny monster was and had feared the entire town would know about him by the end of the week, but they never found out. Bonnie kept her lips sealed and never even brought it up around Grillby. She only ever smiled at him, the same smile she gave everyone else. It bothered the flame. He had grown so use to Flint's constant worry and fluctuating emotions that for someone to know about him and not hover around him was foreign. He was use to being treated like some mental case and not a regular monster. He eventually brought it up himself, having lost enough sleep over the ordeal and wanting to put his mind to rest.

“Aren't you going to say anything?” The bartender asked when the two were alone at the bar.

“Oh, did you do something new? Did you get new glasses? I thought my cup was a bit larger than before, but I figured I was just imagining it.”

“What? No. I meant about,” he waved his hand around slightly and Bonnie looked puzzled. “About before, when we first met? You know, when I tried to-”

“OH!” Bonnie's eyes were wide, fur looking ruffled. “I-uh...I didn't really think you'd want to talk about it. It seems like a very private-uh...thing. I haven't told anyone! I mean, I told your brother that one time, but no one else I promise! I know I'm social and have a hard time keeping my mouth shut sometimes, and I know the town likes to gossip but really I wouldn't tell anyone. I don't know what you heard or anything but I promise you I wouldn't-” Grillby placed a hand over her mouth, her worried and almost tearful eyes making him feel too guilty about bringing the topic up.

“Nobody has said anything about you, don't worry. I'm sure you'd hear about it first anyways. You're in here every day pretty much and this bar has become rumour central.” Bonnie relaxed some and Grillby removed his hand.

“I just was paranoid, I guess. It's kind of stressful knowing someone I haven't even properly been introduced to knows about my biggest secret. I kinda figured by now I could trust you with it, but I was a little flustered why you never said anything.”

“It's none of my business,” Bonnie answered with a straight face. “I mean, I am really happy I saved you that day and I did worry about it a lot. I honestly couldn't stop thinking about you for a while, both out of concern and mild fascination.” Realizing what she said the bunny blushed a dark shade of red. “B-B-But it's not like that anymore!” She stammered.

“Awe, buddy, you got a little crush?” Grillby teased and Bonnie turned bright pink and shoved Grillby.

“I do not, you ass!”

“Hate to break it to you, but you are just a little too young for me.”

“I don't have a crush, you jerk! And besides, I wouldn't date you anyways! What are you, like three hundred?”

“Oh, so close.” Grillby sighed, looking disappointed. “Add on a couple more zeros.”

“Are you for real?!”

“No, you fuzz ball.” Grillby laughed and Bonnie pouted. “Jeez, I'm offended you think I'm some old man. Do I really look that old?”

“Sometimes, I think I see some grey flames poking out of you.” Grillby let out a dry laugh and Bonnie snickered. "You want to know my biggest secret? We could trade so you can trust me more!"

"What could possibly be so big of a secret at your age? You steal an ornament off the tree?"

"No, I totally did have a crush on you for a while, though." Bonnie groaned and Grillby laughed, a bit flattered. "But not anymore! I have a wonderful boyfriend!"

"Gosh, I am just crushed. And here I thought we'd be getting married without even being introduced."

“Wait, but have we really not been properly introduced?”

“No, in fact, I had to learn your name from that mouse monster you always talk to.”

“Huh, we'll let's change that.” She stuck out her paw, smiling so wide her eyes crinkled and her two large buck teeth were on display. “My name is Bonnie.” Grillby snorted, but extended his hand out as well, taking hold of hers.

“Grillby.”

“Well Grillby, it's been a pleasure, but I have to get going.” Bonnie gave the bartender's hand a few firm shakes before she let go and stood up. “Don't worry about your secret. I'll take good care of it, don't worry.” Grillby just waved as she left and the two formed a strong bond since that day.

Bonnie would come by almost daily and the two would chat whenever Grillby was free. Most of the time Bonnie would stay long after the bar had closed and a few times she even ended up falling asleep at the bar and Grillby had to wake her up and send her home. The two became good friends, but Grillby still did not share anything about his depression that had started to act up.

Nights were now Grillby's least favourite time of day. Once everyone was gone, he was all alone with his thoughts that got louder and louder as the night went on. Bonnie had picked up on Grillby's less cheery mood and tried to ask him about it, but he just told her it was nothing and not to worry. Ignoring his crippling mental health did nothing but make matters worse for the bartender, but he didn't know what else to do. He refused to go back to Flint and suffer his smothering and he really didn't want to talk to anyone about it either. He just wanted it to go away. Ignoring it had worked before, so maybe this little slip up would go away and he could pretend to be normal once more.

Years went by and Grillby was heading down to rock bottom. He was barely able to hold himself together during business hours. His hands would tremble at odd times and he was forgetting orders constantly. His customers noticed his behaviour and were worried, but Grillby just ensuring everyone he was okay and just didn't get enough sleep. Bonnie was harder to fool. She paid a lot more attention to Grillby and noticed small little details Grillby tried to hide. She noticed how Grillby hardly ever wore his gloves when near water. She noticed his flame growing darker as each day passed. She noticed the watermarks on Grillby's arms when his long sleeve would slide up his arm. She noticed she watched, and she was troubled. Bonnie tried her best not to be upfront about it, but being evasive did nothing. Grillby avoided the topic and Bonnie had no choice but to stay till the bar was empty and demand answers.

Bonnie fired question and after question, but Grillby's answers were all lies. He forgot to put on his gloves. He was being careless. He needed more sleep. He didn't eat enough. He just wasn't feeling well. Lie after lie after lie spewed from his mouth until Bonnie gave up. She left the bar in tears and Grillby felt terrible. His one friend had come to him wanting to help and he turned her down and made her cry. He was disgusted with himself and after he locked the door to his bar, he went into his bedroom and didn't come out. The bar remained closed for three days straight. Numerous monsters knocked and tried to see what was wrong, but Grillby didn't have the strength to move.

This was Grillby's final suicide attempt, but to him, it was another accident. He wasn't unaware of his surroundings like before, but he hadn't meant to almost kill himself at first. Still, his therapist had told him about the dangers of depression and what it could do to his soul so Grillby couldn't be entirely unaware of what he was doing.

Souls were a monster's life source, their powers, their will to live. Something Grillby had slowly started to lose faith in. It was incredibly difficult to damage your soul by your depression. The soul was your will, no matter what that was. Your will to live, to die, to fight, to eat, to sleep, to breathe, to do anything was to will, to want, to desire. When you had lost your will, you had lost your soul, and Grillby had lost his will. As each day passed, more of his health had begun to deteriorate. He felt nothing and thought of nothing, he only remained unmoving on his bed, slipping in and out of consciousness and the days passed. He felt hungry but had not motivation or reason to get up and eat. He felt like he should probably get changed and call Flint or Bonnie but he had no drive. He didn't eat, call, change, talk, and barely even moved until he felt his soul grow weak inside him. Grillby was burnt orange in colour, flame was so low he wasn't even a fire anymore, but a large dying ember. His body temperature was so low he was shivering, feeling the chill of his home for the first time ever. Still, knowing the last of his health was ticking away, he did nothing.

As his eyes began to shut, a loud banging was heard at his bar door. Grillby did not bother to answer and only focused on the waves of exhaustion that called him to his final rest. The banging got louder and louder before eventually the door was busted down, and still Grillby did not move. Bonnie could be heard calling out for Grillby. He did not respond, just closed his eyes, ready to fall down. Bonnie's voice got louder and louder before they were right next to Grillby, begging him to wake up and to respond. Grillby felt his soul be removed from him and a soft and warm aura radiated the inside of his body. Bonnie must be touching his soul. It felt nice. He only wished she wasn't crying. Her sobs and pleas were preventing Grillby from falling down. Bonnie kept apologizing, just like Flint. She apologized for not being there, for not being good enough, for letting him down. Grillby wanted to tell her it wasn't her fault. He-...Grillby wanted. He desired. He wished. He willed. The cold hand of death was sliding away, being replaced by dread and panic. Grillby didn't want this. He was terrified.

He must have looked different because Bonnie gasped and called out to someone, saying Grillby needed help. The bartender was unable to stay awake. His panic and anxiety had caused him to black out and he feared it was for the last time.

He had woken up in the hospital once again, but this time alone. It was dark in the room and he felt so weak he could barely move. The doctors were unable to heal his soul without Grillby's help. The flame summoned his soul and looked at it and let out a soft huff of air. It looked even worse than he felt. It was so transparent and somber, he wondered how he was even alive. He checked his stats and shivered as he read the numbers.

3/50.

Grillby let out a soft chuckle, pushing his soul back inside of him. How was he alive? He had no idea. All he knew was that he was happy he was, and so was everyone else. Bonnie had been the first to arrive in Grillby's room. She had actually done a double take when Grillby offered her a weak smile and wave. The bunny burst into tears, dropping her food and dashing over to the flame, holding onto him for a long time. Flint came next and his reaction was very similar but minus the tears. Grillby had expected no one else to come to see him, but it felt as if all of Snowdin had come and brought gifts and love. Everyone wished him a fast recovery and offered to help him whenever he needed it. Grillby was so humbled and touched by their kindness. He had been so depressed and numb for so long that to be surrounded by nothing but love and affection caused the flame to sob and apologize repeatedly for hours.

After his final visitor had left, only Bonnie and Flint remained in his room. Flint had fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed, head on the bed and hand resting on Grillby's wrist. The bartender called Bonnie's attention and looked at her, his gaze firm and steady as he told her he'd get help and get better. He promised no more secrets and no more lies. From that day on, he had kept that promise. Recovery was slow and painful, the constant support of everyone helped him pull through even the worst of days. 

In time, Grillby was reborn again. Although he wasn't the monster he was before the war, he at least wasn't the one he had become after the travesties either. He may be more reserved and quiet than his family remembered, but at least he appeared and felt happier. He stayed with Bonnie until he was allowed to return home alone, but even then Bonnie often stayed long after closing hours, making meals for Grillby and checking in to ensure sure he was okay. The bartender was more than capable of handling the situation himself, but he did appreciate the company.

Even though he was improving and no longer suicidal, Grillby's brother still worried. He called daily, visited weekly, and even wrote letters monthly to make sure his younger brother was okay. For a while, Grillby felt bad about everything that had happened. His actions had caused his brother to react this way and he did everything he could to reassure Flint he was fine. He kept up with the calls, went down to visit Flint, he complied with every demand his brother asked, but Flint never seemed to be satisfied. It was as if all Grillby's improvement were invisible to his brother. Grillby had started to become depressed again, wondering what he was doing wrong. He was trying so hard, sacrificing all his free time in order to make his brother happy, but it wasn't enough. Grillby had confronted Flint about it, but Flint always just blamed it on his worry and fear that he'd lose his brother. They boys had both lost their parents in the war, and Grillby was all Flint had left. Grillby tried to get Flint involved in his therapy sessions, tried to get him to understand he was fine, he tried to get his brother to trust him but he refused. Eventually, Grillby gave up on trying. He refused to feel depressed again. He would not allow himself to be miserable because of his brother. The bartender had improved, he was happy and healthy. He made an effort to get Flint back in his life, but it didn't work.

So the rift between them appeared and Grillby did what he had done so many times before, he ran away from his problems and pretended they weren't there. Now, because of his refusal to force Flint to listen, his children were injured. It just all went full circle. This is what he deserved for not confronting his brother. He couldn't run away now, not even if he wanted to. He wouldn't leave his children. Grillby would stay with them till the end of time. He sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders shaking, quietly sobbing as his children slept and when they woke up, he'd grab their belongings and leave. He was still running from his brother, but Papyrus and Sans took priority. They should have always come first, the one time they didn't they were damaged.

Grillby's fists tightened, eyes squeezed shut as his soul throbbed painfully. He had to stop thinking about it, but he couldn't. He was lost in his poisonous thoughts.

Sans had woken up groggy and feeling awful. He was too hot and too confused to fall back to sleep even though he really wanted to. He felt Papyrus nuzzled close to him, hand over San's soul blinking orange as the young skeleton subconsciously sent pulses of his magic into Sans. The older skeleton's sleepy sockets landed on the one light source in the dark room. Grillby sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. His normal orange flame was almost non-existent. He was a burned sunset orange, his flamed head was so low it looked like he was about to go out. The bartender's shoulders shook slightly, his flame sinking even lower and Sans feared he'd fade away. The skeleton pushed himself up, ensuring Papyrus remained asleep and looked at his guardian.

“Grillby?” The element's head snapped up, head burning brightly at the sound of his child's voice. The bartender looked at the child, opening his mouth to speak, but only an odd crackling sound came out and Grillby cleared his throat.

“Sans, hey, uh-” Grillby's voice was rough and he sounded exhausted. He sat up and stumbled slightly as he turned on the light by the bed before taking a seat once more. “How are you feeling?”

“Are you okay?” Sans' pupils were wide and filled with worry. His guardian had looked so miserable moments ago, and even now he looked unhealthy. His glow was low and looked like a candle burning its final leg of wick. The bartender opened his mouth to lie, but couldn't will himself to be so dishonest with Sans. They both agreed, to be honest with each other. Grillby may want to hide his emotions, but he couldn't, he could only try his best to stretch them.

“I'm...going to be.” The skeleton frowned, not liking the answer.

“What does that mean?”

“Are you okay?” The fire element questioned instead.

“No, you're not okay. I don't like when you are upset. What's wrong?” Grillby groaned quietly, running a hand through his flame.

“No, Sans. Please, don't worry about me. How do you feel? Are you okay?”

“No, I'm not okay. You're upset! What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?” Sans inched closer and Grillby cursed under his breath, obviously getting nowhere if he wasn't going, to be honest.

“No, Sans. I'm not okay. I feel terrible, but that doesn't matter because I'll get better knowing you are okay. Please, kiddo, just tell me you are okay.” Grillby's voice was so broken and sad as if he was about to cry.

“I-I don't know if I am.” The bartender looked pained by the answer and Sans now felt as if he was about to start bawling. “What happened? Why aren't you okay? Did I do something?” Grillby's flame brightened and he reached out to Sans, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“No! You did nothing wrong! Nothing is your fault. You didn't do anything. This is just all my fault. I'm so sorry.” The skeleton stared at the flame. His face was scrunched up and Sans thought that if Grillby was any other type of monster, he would be crying. His shoulders' trembled as he held onto Sans, the occasional shaky breath was let out as Grillby tried not to openly sob in front of his child. Sans felt overheated and uncomfortable, but he didn't say a word. He just sat on his guardian's lap and allowed himself to be smothered and coddled. The flame eventually seemed to calm down, his grip on his child easing up as he rested his head against Sans.

“We are going home today, okay? We'll say goodbye to Sulfi and Fiora and head back home to Snowdin.” The skeleton looked befuddled.

“What?” He noticed their packed bags in the corner and his brow furrowed. “Why? Weren't we staying for a week?”

“We aren't going to anymore. This was just a bad idea. It's best to just go now, this place is toxic.”

“Toxic?” Sans echoed in confusion.

“Yes, toxic. We should wake Papyrus up. He'd be upset if we left without letting him say goodbye.” The skeleton shook his head, gripping tightly onto Grillby's shirt.

“Wait, no. I don't-What's happening? I don't understand. Grillby, I-I'm scared.”

“Don't be scared, nothing is wrong. It's okay, please don't be upset.” Grillby seemed so desperate as he held Sans' hands, not wanting to cause him any more panic. His body temperature was practically normal. No longer providing the constant space heater like warmth, but instead he felt like a regular monster with a slight fever. “There was just an accident. We were playing a game and I wasn't paying attention. It's just- It's just all my fault, but I'm going to fix it. I'm not going to let it happen again.” Sans' pupils faded, scanning his guardian's face.

Game? What happened today?

“Sans, do you remember anything?” The skeleton gave no response. “This morning, what were you doing this morning?”

“Playing...with Pap, we were colouring.”

“Okay, what next?”

“Your brother apologized. We went outside. I didn't want to. I don't like playing monsters and humans. I didn't want to but Pap did, and you looked happy. I didn't want to ruin that.” The flame closed his eyes, turning his head away from the skeleton.

“I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. I was too—I was just a selfish idiot. I'm sorry.”

“Why are you-” Sans voice cut off as his head began to throb painfully. His hands flew up to clutch his skull, eyes clamped shut.

“Sans? Sans, what's wrong? What happened?”

“My- ngh...My head hurts.” Sans admitted, memories of the game they played began flashing in his head. They were running, playing, having fun. Everyone looked happy, so why was Grillby so distraught?

“It just hurts? Is that all?” Sans winced, a whimper escaping as he felt like a hammer just collided with his skull. Hurt, someone got hurt? Who? Flint, he bumped into him. Papyrus shoved him too, and he got hurt. His arm was burnt badly, but he saved Sans.

“Pap...” Sans peeled one eye open, looking at his sleeping brother, injured arm resting above the blanket.

“Sans, is your head just hurting? Do you hear anything? See anything?”

“Why would I...” The skeleton's voice trailed off as the ache in his head vanished. In its place remained the memories he had forgotten. He had attacked Grillby and Flint. He was confused and lost. His vision distorted and changing as the voices spoke to him. He heard a new voice. It sounded so friendly, a lot nicer than the Gaster's voice, but it was crueller. At least the Gaster voice just ordered him around, this new voice was mean to him. They both still ordered him to attack and Sans did. He hurt everyone. Why was Grillby blaming himself? This was Sans' fault. He lost control. He wasn't brave enough to voice his thoughts. He wasn't paying attention and got Papyrus hurt. He tried to dust Grillby and Flint. He hurt them. He hurt everyone. This was his fault.

“I hurt you,” Sans whispered, looking up at Grillby. “You-...I-Your leg. I hurt your leg.” The skeleton's hands were curled up in front of him, fingers twitching as if he wanted to check out the flame's leg but Grillby slid it away.

“It's fine.”

“No, it's not,” Sans exclaimed, voice rising. “Y-You blame yourself! This isn't your fault. This is my fault! I did this! I-I should have-I-I-” Grillby gripped the skeleton's shoulder tightly, gaining his attention.

“This isn't your fault, Sans. It's mine.”

“No, it's not! It's always my fault! You keep trying to make me better, but I only get worse! I keep ruining everything! I ruined this trip. Papyrus got hurt because of me! I attack you because I lost control! You've done nothing but try to help me and I keep making everything worse. I don't know what to do anymore. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I get better? Wh-” Sans voice broke, tears sliding down his cheeks, his pupils wide and trembling. “I-I thought I was doing so well. I-I did everything y-you said, but I-I'm not improving. I'm f-failing. What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?”

“You aren't doing anything wrong! This isn't your-!” Grillby stopped himself, practically shouting at Sans. It was like dealing with a smaller version of himself. The flame took in a deep, shaky breath and it was released just as unsteadily. “You don't just get better, Sans. It takes years of work and during those years you are going to keep messing up. You are going to be right there, right at the edge of recovery and then be yanked back down to rock bottom. It happens, it just does. It's not anyone's fault. You know you are improving not by the number of times you get knocked down, but by how long it takes for you to stand back up and try again. This won't ever go away, whatever it is that is causing these attacks, it's not something that will be gone one day and never come back. It'll be there for a while, and sometimes it'll be bad but it happens. There's nothing wrong with you because you lose control. You are just not...stable. You need help, you know this. But until you are ready to get it, you can't let yourself be discouraged by these attacks. I want to tell you it will be okay and that it's all over, but it's not. Even when you do get help, it'll still happen, maybe less often and maybe a little less violent, but it will still be there. What you need to do is realize that right now, even though you think you keep messing up and that you are a failure, you aren't. You can't think about where you are now and compare it to where you should be. You have to think about how far you have come.”

“But I'm even worse than before!” Sans wept, his entire demeanour seeming defeated. “I hurt you. I attacked you. I'm hearing new voices and I'm seeing things that aren't there. I-I'm not getting better!”

“Yes, you are!” Grillby cried, trying desperately to get a hold of himself but failing. “You wouldn't even let me near you before! You wouldn't talk to me or let me even look at you without freaking out. You never told me anything about how you were feeling or what was happening and now you do! You let me hug you, talk to you, take you outside, introduce you to new people! You let me near Papyrus even when you aren't around. You use to panic and have episodes and then just shut down and crawl into your protective shell, but you don't now! You are here with me, talking, crying, opening up to me because you trust me. You never trusted me before, I think, to be honest, you hated me for a long time, but now you call me your dad. These attacks are nothing when you think about how far you've come without them! It's not good that they are getting worse, but you are getting better at handling them! You can't give up now because it seems like you are getting worse. I won't let you give up. Look at yourself Sans, think about everything you have done since the day you knocked on my back door asking for help. You are not the frightened monster who came to my bar all those months ago. You are improving and everyone sees it, I see it, Bonnie sees it, Papyrus sees it, everyone. I won't lie to you and tell you everything is okay. I told you I would not sugar coat anything, you don't deserve that. It's going to be hard and this is going to happen again, but you cannot let that get to you. We are here for you, no matter what. You just can't give up. You have to want to get better.”

“I-I do.” Sans sniffed, scrubbing at the endless tears that streamed down his cheeks. “I-I do wa-want to get b-better-r. I-I want-t h-help. I-I don't-t li-like this. I'm af-fraid, Dad. I do-don't want to hear t-these v-voices. They are scary and mean.  I-I don't-t want to h-hal-lucinate. I-I-” Sans let out a loud wail, giving up on trying to cover and hide his emotions. Papyrus began to stir at the sound, but even knowing his brother was awake, Sans still cried. “I'm-m so scared-d.” Grillby's own sorrow consumed him and the two clung to one another sobbing. Papyrus watched, hands curling up in the blanket as his wide and worried sockets darted between the two distraught monsters. Still bawling, Sans pulled one hand away from Grillby and reached out for his brother. The small skeleton flung himself at his older sibling, nuzzling his way between them. His entire body radiating an orange aura, hoping his one useful way of helping would work. Although the two monsters did not stop their weeping for a while, they at least quieted down to the point where the rest of the house could no longer hear them.

“I want to get better.” Sans sniffed, arms around Papyrus but his face was buried in Grillby's shirt.

“I know, kiddo,” Grillby muttered, head resting on top of Sans' skull. “It's going to be hard.”

“I-I know.”

“It's going to hurt a lot, to think about everything that happened. You're going to have to talk about a lot of things you never want to talk about, and it's fucking terrifying.”

“I know...”

 “But, we'll start small, okay? This is about you. You have to want to do this. I don't want you doing this for me or for Papyrus or for anyone else. This is your choice.” Sans sniffed and nodded.

“I know. I want this. I want to be normal. I don't want to be like this anymore.”

“You won't be kiddo. You'll get better. I promise you that you'll get better. It's just going to be tough, but I know you can do it. You have been so brave and have suffered a long time, but you don't have to anymore. I'm here for you.” Grillby glanced down at Papyrus who was wedged between them, holding onto his brother. “Papyrus is here for you too. We both are. We're a family.” Sans pulled away from Grillby, looking down at his brother who stared back up at him, eyes still anxious. His small hand reached up, brushing away the moisture on his older brother's face. The corner of Sans' mouth twitched up as he leaned into his brother's touch.

“We're family,” Sans whispered hand gripping onto his brother's.

“Are you both okay?” Papyrus asked out loud. They remained silent, unable to lie to the small skeleton. “...Are you going to be?” They both nodded. Sans pressed his teeth to Papyrus' forehead, absorbing the comforting aura of safety he oozed.

“Yeah, we're going to be,” Grillby stated, exhausted from the day.

“You'll help, right Pap? You'll be there for me, right?” Papyrus' sockets were wide, filled with determination.

“Yes! Of course, I will! I'll do anything and everything I can!” The skeleton's enthusiasm and passion caused Sans to let out a soft chuckle, placing more skeletal kisses across his brother's face until the younger sibling let out a whine.

“You won't be alone, Sans, not anymore,” Grillby told his child who nodded, too tired to let out anymore tears.

“Are we still going to leave?” Sans asked his guardian who let out a long sigh.

“We're leaving?” Papyrus whined, his good arm extended out, holding Sans away so he wouldn't smother him in any more love.

“We-...” Grillby looked at the clock and took in a deep breath. “Let's asleep on it. We'll decide in the morning.” Papyrus didn't seem content with the answer but Sans agreed. “For now, let's just get some rest. It's been a long day.” Sans pulled his brother back up to the top of the bed and tucked them both in. Grillby collapsed beside them, turning off the light and allowing Sans to drape the covers across him.

“Goodnight, Dad.” The skeletons said and Grillby felt a small smile form on his face.

“'Night, kiddos.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Long sigh* Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. It started off happy, ya know? It started off with just Sans waking up, then Grillby and him would talk and shit would go on..but my brain was like "Hey, shitface, guess what? This shit's heading on down memory lane. Pain train full speed ahead!!!!" And then the Grillby shit came up. I never originally intended on 90% of all the REALLY dark shit that happens to actually happen, it doesn't appear until I look it over and go "Yeah, you see, here the problem, Keely. It's too happy." "Yea, but maybe it-" "It's too happy. Make. Them. Suffer." You all think I'm some sadistic bastard but I sat on my bed surrounded by blankets and sipping mango nectar while silently trying not to sob as I destroy these babies. Maybe it's just because this chapter really hits home for me but damn, of all the stuff I've written and have yet to even release, this was sooo hard to write...
> 
> Well, thank you all for reading and commenting. I hope this wasn't too much because, uh--ha..some one you thought last chapter was bad and...ha, well, you know...the road to recovery is a rocky one! Hopefully no more chapters will be this depressing though because fuck that.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	24. Repair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize in advance if this chapter seems a bit fillery/blank. To go into the mental thought of a lot of the choices would just be repetitive since it would just be rephrasing a lot of what happened in the last chapter and you already know what happens.
> 
> Thanks to Hannah for editing this bomb.

Grillby's sleep was interrupted by a soft knock at their door. He grunted and pushed himself out of bed, children still fast asleep. Opening the door just a bit, Grillby looked over Sulfi with exhausted eyes.

“Oh, good morning, Grillby. How are you um-feeling?”

“Like death.” The bartender answered honestly, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep.

“Ah, well, uh-I'm sorry for interrupting your sleep. I just wanted to let you know that I made breakfast. I wasn't sure if you or the kids wanted any so I just came to see if you were awake. But, you aren't so I will let you get back to bed!”

“Who is it?” Sans grumbled and Grillby looked back into the room.

“Sulf, you hungry?” The skeleton just groaned and sunk back into the bed. “Perhaps later, it was a rough night,” Grillby confessed, hand running over his face.

“Yes, we um-...Yes, of course. I will just save you some.” Grillby nodded, wanting to close the door, but Sulfi still stood in the doorway shifting, looking like she had something to say.

“Everything okay?” Grillby asked, trying to sound less exhausted than he felt.

“Yes, I just-um. You see I have to go in today for work and won't be home until later.”

“Okay.” The bartender stated, eyes drooping.

“But, um, Fi, she is going to be out with her friend today as well...”

“Uh huh.”

“And, well, um, Flint, he'll be um...home today...all day.” Grillby's eyes bored into Sulfi's, face blank.

“Perfect. Thanks for letting me know.”

“You're welcome. Um...have a good rest.” Grillby just shut the door and sighed, trudging back over to the bed and collapsing on it.

“What did she say?” Sans asked, voice muffled by the pillow.

“That we are stuck in the room because Flint is going to be the only one home today.”

“Doesn't he work?” Papyrus chimed in and Grillby just shrugged, tossing the covers over him.

“He repairs lava leaks in homes. If there's no leak, he doesn't work.”

“Maybe he'll get called in.” Papyrus yawned.

“One could only hope.” Grillby sighed, falling back to sleep for a few more hours. He woke up again by Papyrus this time. The skeleton was talking to Sans who seemed half asleep still.

“Well, what if the fish could fly?”

“He'd still need water to breath.”

“But what if water went with him and protecting him like a bubble?”

“Then maybe he could get away from the shark.” Sans voice was muffled by the pillow his heavy head sunk into

“But what if the shark could fly too?” Sans groaned.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Grillby chortled, opening his eyes.

“I asked Sans if he thought lizards could have wings and he said no, but I think they could.”

“How does that-never mind.” Grillby chuckled, sitting up. Sans sat up as well, not as awake as he'd like to be.

“Pap, how's your arm?” The guardian asked, sliding his glasses on his face. Sans seemed more alert now, sockets glued to Papyrus' bandaged arm. The younger skeleton shrugged, rubbing the area around the burn.

“Kinda hurts, but it's better than before.”

“Grillby, his arm hurts,” Sans repeated, looking up at the bartender.

“Yeah, I know. We should probably change the bandage first. Actually, you both should shower. Why don't you do that and I'll get breakfast, okay?”

“Okay!” Papyrus agreed, standing up to head off to the bathroom, but Sans stuck a finger in his collar and held him back. “Sans!”

“Is it safe?” The older skeleton questioned, gaze firm. Grillby wondered what he meant for a moment before he understood what Sans' was asking.

“Let me check.” The flame stood up and walked over to the door and opened it. He peered down the hallway and into the open room, spotting the study door closed Grillby returned to the room and nodded. The skeletons rushed into the bathroom with a change of clothes. While they bathed, their guardian was in the kitchen, heating up the three plates of food left out on the counter. The bartender sucked in a deep breath when he heard a door open in the hallway and heavy footsteps approach the kitchen. To his dismay, Flint appeared and looked incredibly guilty and anxious.

“I-uh, see you found the food.”

“It was left on the counter.”

“Yeah, she also left some cookies, I think, in the oven,” Flint informed his brother as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Okay.” Silence took over the room before the microwave chimed and Grillby removed the hot plate and added in the last one.

“Are they both okay?” The bartender was quiet for a moment, actually debating on answering.

“No, but they will be. I plan on taking them both home to Snowdin today once Sulfi returns home.” Flint looked disappointed.

“Oh, I guess that's for the best.”

“Yes, it is.” The microwave went off again and Grillby took the plate out and stared down at the warm food, frowning. “Look, they both aren't sure whether or not they want to leave yet. Sans wants to do what I want to do, but we both are pushovers when it comes to what Papyrus wants and so far, he doesn't want to leave. If we end up staying the rest of the week, this-” Grillby motioned between the two of them, “has to stop. They are my top priority and our petty fighting got in the way of that. If I'm staying, we are either having a long talk or you and I are staying as far away from each other as possible. I am giving this one last shot. I'm not running anymore and I won't allow this to go on. You either listen to what I have to say for once or I'm done. No more back and forth bickering, no more fighting, I'm out.” Grillby voiced eyes locked onto his brother.

“Grillby?” Sans called, making his way out of the bathroom. He spotted Flint down the hall and was paralyzed. The yellow flame turned his head, looking down at Sans and the skeleton whimpered. His body began to tremble, hands gripping his parka and pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks. Flint looked devastated by the child's behaviour and glanced back at Grillby.

“Uh, Grill.” The bartender set down the plate he was holding and stepped over to the doorway, spotting his child.

“Sans, what's wrong?” The skeleton remained silent, eye glued to Grillby's older brother.

“Maybe I should just go,” Flint stated, taking a step back, but Sans jolted away at the movement. He stumbled over his shaky legs and fell on his back with a loud thump. Grillby reached out to his child, but paused, peered over his shoulder at Flint who was unsure of what to do. Turning around, the guardian gently pushed Flint into the kitchen and out of Sans' sight, holding up his hand to tell his brother to stay. Sans visibly relaxed, body no longer rigid and his white pupils grew to a slightly smaller than normal size.

“You okay?” The bartender questioned, tone a bit hesitant.

“P-Pap's...arm...” Sans mumbled, still a bit shook up.

“I'll be right there. Can you wait for me in the bathroom?” Sans nodded, struggling to stand at first, but once on his feet he quickly retreated back to his brother. Grillby waited until Sans shut the door before he turned around and started collecting the plate of warm food.

“Is he okay?” Flint asked and his younger brother remained emotionless.

“I don't know.”

“Grillby, that's not-”

“I know.” The bartender said, cutting his brother off. The last thing Grillby needed was his brother reminding him of how unhealthy his child was. He knew Sans needed help and he hoped to get him some soon, but until then Sans was a wildcard. Grillby couldn't predict his child's actions anymore and that scared the fire element.

“I'm sorry, you're probably under a lot of stress right now.” The yellow flame stated and Grillby sighed. He really didn't want to deal with Flint's apologetic mood swings, not today. “Should I apologize to them?”

“No!” Grillby snapped, not meaning to sound as harsh as he did. “I-Just don't go near them, please. He's not-...We'll discuss this later.” Grillby told Flint before walking out of the room

The guardian spent the majority of his day in the guest room with his children. Sans was nervous about leaving the room, but thankfully Papyrus wasn't up to his usual antics with his injured arm. They ate, coloured, and napped as Grillby paced the room, trying to debate on what to do. He wanted to leave with his children, that was certain. However, Papyrus wasn't a fan of the idea and unless he had a valid reason to leave, his mind wouldn't be changed anytime soon. Grillby could use the extra time to talk things out with his brother, but he didn't want to. Of course, what he wanted didn't matter anymore. They had a chance to mend their bond and Grillby has a solid reason to not give up this time. All they needed to do was talk, but that could still backfire. If Flint didn't change then Grillby would have no choice but to leave with his children, no matter what they wanted. Grillby just needed to now muster up enough courage to go talk. However, that was a lot easier said than done.

Both Sulfi and Fiora had returned home and Grillby still hadn't even attempted to converse with his brother. Flint also appeared to be hiding in his office, no doubt too worried he'd run into Sans or Grillby and cause some sort of trauma.

Grillby groaned quietly to himself, face buried in a pillow. Papyrus had left the room to help Sulfi cook dinner, but Grillby stayed in the room with Sans. The skeleton was propped against Grillby, notebook in hand. The page was covered in Wing Ding characters that Grillby still struggled to understand. At the sound of his guardian's groan, Sans looked up from his work and peered down at the flame.

“What's wrong?”

“I need to talk to Flint.” The skeleton's face scrunched up.

“Why?”

“Because I'm a good brother who wants to try one last time to get my brother back into my life, even though he doesn't deserve it.” Sans made a small noise of displeasure.

“Can I eat in my room? I don't want to be around him.” The bartender turned his face away from the pillow, looking at his child who was staring at his notebook.

“Yes, you can. But earlier in the hallways, what happened?” Sans frowned at the paper, pencil making stray lines and curves.

“He...makes me nervous. I don't like him, he makes me feel-” Sans bit the pencil, brow furrowed as he thought of the word.

“Timid?”

“I would have said cowardly.” The skeleton started dragging his pencil back and forth, looking for a way to distract himself. “The attack, he really scared me. He sounded like the doctor.” Grillby frowned, sitting up.

“Like Gaster?” Sans nodded, drawing a line under a line of characters that spelled out the doctor's name.

“His tone, it was like his. You don't use that tone. You don't ever sound like that. It's what triggered the panic.” Grillby now understood Sans' reaction. It made him feel even worse than before. He had thought it was all just a big attack caused by Papyrus getting hurt. Now he realized that Papyrus had calmed Sans down and Flint had terrorized Sans into a second panic attack. The skeleton now saw Flint as some menace, some horrified beast that was as demonic as Gaster. Gaster was Sans' biggest nightmare, a memory that haunted the skeleton daily and now Grillby's brother was put in the same light as that abomination. The bartender was both sickened by the thought and saddened by it. Flint was an ass, but he wasn't that bad.

“Kid, you know Flint's not...like that.” Sans didn't respond. “Did he really spook you that bad?” The pencil stopped moving, Sans' pupils were glued to the words on the page.

“I thought he was there. I thought I was back in his lab, in that room.” The white dots in the skeletons' sockets faded. “And he stood where Gaster stood. He was mad and-...” Sans took in a shaky breath. “Gaster never spoke to us unless it was a command. Up. Sit. Walk. Follow. Fire. Report. Attack. He demanded and we had a choice, obey or be punished. He had that one tone and nothing else. You never sound like that. You always asked like everything is a choice. Do you, would you, can you, please, okay, alright, you always ask. Flint, he orders, like the doctor did. No. Get away. He...he made me act like how Gaster did.” Sans abandoned the notebook and pencil, curling up into a tight ball. “Like some dog or slave. I don't want you or Pap to see that. I don't want anyone to see me like that.” Sans buried his face in his knees. “I don't want to be that anymore.”

“Sans,” Grillby wrapped his arms around his child, pressing his curled up form against his side. “You don't have to be like that. Flint, he wouldn't-he isn't like that.”

“I don't know if I can believe you. I don't- ngh... I don't know if I'll see clearly. I don't feel very...stable, when I think about it. I don't know if I will...” Sans closed his eyes. “I don't think I can face him without hallucinating. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want you to see me like that.” Grillby rested his head against Sans' skull, rubbing his child's shoulder as he held onto the skeleton.

“Sans, we can leave if you want. I don't want you staying here for me or for Papyrus. If you really don't feel safe here, I want you to let me know and we'll leave. We don't have to stay.” Sans remained silent. Grillby had a feeling that his child was doing exactly what he didn't want him to do. The skeleton would suffer and hide away in this room for the rest of the week, and maybe even guilt himself into leaving the room to make Papyrus happy. He'd keep quiet about everything if it meant he'd make others happy, and that wasn't right. Sans needed to start speaking up and voice his opinion and desires. The kid never had a hard time being honest, but he always suffered in verbalizing his honesty.

“I want to stay,” Sans muttered.

“Don't lie to me Sans. We don't lie to each other, not anymore.”

“I don't want you to be upset.”

“I won't be.” Grillby pulled away and rested a hand against his child's getting him to open up his sockets and look up a little. “I'll never be angry or sad with you for being honest. If anything, it frustrates me when you lie. I can't read your mind, kiddo. I don’t know what you are feeling all the time unless you tell me. We have to communicate or this isn't going to work.” Sans searched the fire element's face trying to find a valid reason to lie or to hide like he wanted to but he, of course, found nothing.

“I want you two to talk and become friends like you want, but I want to leave. I don't want to choose, I can't.” Sans muttered and Grillby sighed.

“Why don't we do this, I'll go talk to Flint and see what I can do. If it starts to look good, we'll stay one day if it doesn't we'll leave. How does that sound? Either way, we'll leave earlier than intended, just one day longer. Is that alright with you?” Sans shrugged.

“If it's okay with you.” Grillby figured that would be the closest thing to a yes that he'd get. He gave Sans a quick hug and stood up. Sans looked up as Grillby made his way to the door.

“Grillby?” He found himself calling before he could stop himself. The flame turned around, giving his child a questioning look and the skeleton stared back, mouth opening and closing before remaining shut.

“Never mind.” He mumbled, shaking his head.

“No, what's up?”

“Nothing, it's-...” Sans just clicked his teeth together, continuing to shake his head.

“Kid, we don't do this any-”

“I'll tell you later,” Sans mumbled and Grillby sighed but agreed.

“Okay, but I'm here for you. Don't forget that, alright?” Sans nodded, gazing down at the floor. “I'm going to go talk to Flint now and you can stay here till dinner is ready, alright? Want me to get Papyrus?” Sans shook his head, rubbing his skull gently. The bartender fled the room and walked over to the room Flint was locked away in. He knocked on the door a few times before he opened it up and glanced inside. Flint sat on the couch, book open in his lap but gaze unmoving. Upon hearing the creak of the floor below Grillby, he looked up, flame lowering and dimming as he looked at his younger brother.

“Hello, Grillby.” He greeted, a bit tense.

“Hey.” The orange flame replied, shutting the door behind him. “Let's talk.” Flint motioned to the open chair and his younger brother took a seat, hands folded in his lap.

“How are Sans and Papyrus doing?” Flint asked, trying to appeal to his sibling by talking about a subject he enjoyed.

“They aren't well,” Grillby admitted, colour darkening with concern. “Papyrus will heal, but Sans is just--No, I came to talk about us. I wanted to let you know that right now we plan on leaving either today or tomorrow. That extra day depends on this conversation. Right now, this is my final chance to break through to you. This conversation will be either the start of our road to recovery or the end of our relationship. If we make any sort of progress, I'll stay another day with the kids and we'll try to salvage whatever we can. If it doesn't and we just fight and argue, I will take my kids and leave and I will not return. Do you understand the severity of this conversation?” The two held a firm look neither one breaking eye contact.

“Yes, I do.”

“Good, now let's try to fix this.” Grillby ran a hand through his flamed head, taking a deep breath. “I think we both know the main cause of this entire feud, right? My decision to join the war and the effects it had on me. Do you disagree?” Flint shook his head and Grillby continued. “I know you hate the whole therapy, medical way of looking at this, but it's the only way I know how to deal with this, so bear with me. Let's just start small for now. When I first arrived, why were you upset?”

“I was upset because you didn't make any attempt to contact me for several months. Then, when you do show up, you act as if your actions are justified just because you have children.”

“Did you ever stop to wonder why I never called or visited?”

“With your history, no I didn't,” Flint replied in a snarky tone.

“I don't know exactly what you mean by that comment, Flint, but I suggest any snippy remarks be held back,” Grillby warned and Flint leaned back in his chair.

“The only thing I wanted from you was a reason why you didn't call and an apology, that's it. You gave me half a reason why and no apology.”

“Here's my reasoning, Flint. I didn't want to call. I didn't want to visit. I didn't want to talk to see you. Instead of dealing with you, I decided to invest all my time in my children, a task you now know requires a lot of effort. That is my reasoning and it is valid. As for an apology, you are not getting one anytime soon until you realize why I didn't want to call and why I didn't want to deal with you. After that, then I will apologize because then I will know you finally understand and deserve one.”

“It's a goddamn apology, Grillby. You don't even have to mean it!”

“Why does that bother you much?” The bartender barked, bothered by his brother's determination.

“Seven months with no contact is a long time, Grillby.”

“I had my phone for five of those months, Flint! I didn't receive a single call so it's not like you were that worried.”

“Don't play that card again. I know you hate me calling all the time, so I laid off and decided to give you some space.”

“Great! Why don't you continue to do that? Give me space.”

“Because you keep shutting us all out! You didn't tell anyone you moved, own a house, are now a parent! You have children Grillby! I think that's something you tell your brother. I know I did!” Grillby winced slightly at the comment, but quickly hid his guilty expression.

“Well, now you know. I don't know why you are making such a big deal about this.”

“You know exactly why I am making such a big deal about this! I was worried half to death when you didn't pick up your phone! I was ready to go down to your place myself to see if you were still alive!”

“See?! This! This is exactly-!” Grillby stopped himself, flame bright red and fuming. He had to stay calm. He couldn't lose his temper, not with the skeleton brothers in the house. Grillby was already worried about Sans. He should really get back to him. “That type of mentality is why I left, Flint!” The bartender hissed. “This constant worrying and over protective thing you always do is suffocating! I'm not going to die. Do you not know how long it's been since that happened?”

“You should know first-hand that healing takes time.” Flint snapped and Grillby glared.

“You're right, Flint. Healing does take time. Heaven knows I needed a lot of time after fighting in a fucking war. Can't really get over watching everyone I know get turned to dust, that smell of burning flesh, watching humans get charred by my magic, being coated in so much dust I-”

“Stop.”

“Or maybe fighting on the same field our parents died in. Maybe even stepping on their ashes, who knows Flint. Maybe a little bit of Mom and Dad are with us after all, let's check out my uniform to see whose dust is who.”

“Stop!” Flint ordered, but Grillby refused.

“No, Flint, because you're right. Old wounds do take time to heal. But if I can get over mine, your pathetic excuse for an issue shouldn't even be a problem anymore. You know why? Because I am still alive, Flint. I got help. I am no longer that depressed monster you still think I am. You got clarity and you have the reassurance. I had nothing. There was nothing to ease my depression. Nothing I could look back on and think, 'well, at least that ended nicely.' Our parents are dead, my friends are dead, we are trapped under some barrier for the rest of time and I had to deal with that! And if I, you selfish ass, can get over that little hurdle and actually pull myself out of fucking bed each morning with a goddamn smile, then you-” Grillby finger jabbed into his brother's chest. “Can get over the fact that I tried to kill myself. I don't care what you saw and I don't care about what you felt. I offered my help, just like you offered yours and funny enough we acted the same. We rejected each other's aid and yet I'm the only one who gets shit on for it.”

Flint remained silent and Grillby huffed, shaking his head.

“So tell me, Flint, why do you think your wounds are deeper than mine? You didn't lose a brother. You didn't try to kill yourself. You didn't feel my misery. The only thing that happened to you, was your brother attempted three suicides and made it out okay. Why does that justify your behaviour?” With no response, Grillby continued. “Have I ever acted like that to you? Have I ever acted harshly or rudely without you acting that way first? No, and if I have I will apologize with all the sincerity I can muster. Can you think of any times I did that?”

More silence.

“I didn't think so.” Grillby leaned back, glancing at the door, wondering how long it would take for dinner to be ready. “You know what really just gets to me, Flint? The fact that I've been saying all this for years and you've never listened. It's only when I shout at you or force you to listen, that you actually do. That's not healthy communication. You want to see how a regular monster with depression or bad mental health talks to those who don't? Look at how I talk to Sulfi, Fiora, and my children. Do they treat me the way you do? Do I in return for their treatment act the same way I do with you? No, and again, if I ever have let me know so I can apologize. That is how you treat someone like they are a regular monster. Everyone, and I mean everyone knows that this is a problem because of you. It's clear that I reached out. It's obvious that I am stable and healthy because no one else in the entire fucking Underground treats me as poorly as you do. I may have done some dumb shit Flint, but I made up for it. I made amends and gave everything I had into us. I tried for years, but you wouldn't listen. I was so fucking miserable because of you. Right after literally giving up on life, you made me feel horrible again and I let you, but not anymore. I stopped myself because I don't want to be miserable anymore. I realized that this wasn't my fault and that I did everything I could, but you weren't having it. You keep wanting me to be involved and to trust you, but when I needed you and reached out to be a part of your life, you turned me away. And now, you expect me to apologize and to just think that everything is okay? Are you an idiot?” Grillby badgered and Flint remained quiet the entire time, head bowed. The silent behaviour was beginning to annoy the bartender.

“Do you have nothing to say?” The orange flame snapped.

“I don't know what to say,” Flint replied and Grillby scoffed.

“Literally anything.” Flint just looked at his brother hopelessly and Grillby lets out a short, sad laugh and stood up. “Unbelievable.”

“Wait, I just-”

“Flint,” Grillby spoke in a warning tone. “The only thing I want out of you is an apology and you can't even give me that. Not even after everything I said. So, no. I'm done waiting. I'm taking my kids and we are leaving.” Grillby turned to leave but Flint grabbed his arm.

“No, wait, please! Just give me time to think!”

“Let go of my arm,” Grillby demanded tugging at his limb but Flint held on.

“Please, I just need some time to-”

“I gave you time!” Grillby shouted, flame exploding outward, scorching the top of the ceiling. Flint released his arm instantly as Grillby's body temperature rose. It would not hurt the fire element, but the sudden heat and dark red colour alarmed him.

“Grillby?” A voice called from behind the door. The knob slowly turned and the door opened a crack. Flint watched as Grillby's body decreased in size and the anger melt away. When the older skeleton poked his head into the room, his guardian was almost back to normal. His flame was a bit darker than usual and more heated, but barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't observant. Fortunately for Grillby, Sans had his socket's squeezed shut, form shaking as the smallest inch of him was peeking out from the doorway.

“Where is Papyrus?” Grillby asked, directing Sans attention to him.

“He's helping Sulfi made dinner still.”

“Please go back to the room. I'll be right there.” Sans fidgeted, wanting to open his eyes, but too fearful of what would happen.

“Are you okay?” Grillby sighed, knowing the entire house no doubt heard his outburst. Even though Sans was terrified of Flint, he still pushed away his fear to check on Grillby. The kid needed to be selfish for once.

“Yes, I'm fine. Come on, let's go help Papyrus and Sulfi.” The bar owner said, turning away from his brother.

“Grillby, wait.” Grillby shot an annoyed look over his shoulder and Sans tensed up in the doorway. Flint took a step forward, but Sans heard the advancement and whimpered, turning his face away from the doorway. The yellow flame stopped, guilt-ridden by the sound. Grillby picked Sans up, preventing him from causing himself a panic attack.

“Let's go help Sulfi before Papyrus adds glue to the noodles again,” Grillby told Sans before he turned and left the room with him. Even though the bartender wanted to leave right then and there, he didn't have the heart to force Papyrus away from Sulfi and decided they'd leave after dinner.

Dinner was both the most painfully tense experience Grillby has ever had and the most uncomfortable. Papyrus wanted to eat with Sans so he wasn't alone and asked if Fiora wished to join them. The green flame agreed, the second the air got so thick she felt as if her flame would run out of oxygen. The three adults remained at the table, the only sound in the air was the scraps of silverware against plates and the idle chatter of the younger monsters. Of course, Sulfi being as chatty as she was, would not stand for the silence any longer.

“So, are you all packed up and ready to leave? It is a shame to see you off so soon, but given the circumstances, I completely understand.” Sulfi gave her husband a look of pure death.

“Yes, we are all ready to leave. I'll help you clean up and we will most likely be on our way.”

“That's good, that's good. Papyrus mentioned a thing or two about the decision and I am happy that Sans is getting help. It's a tough choice to make.” Grillby just nodded. “Will he be going to the same therapist you see or a different one?”

“I'm not sure yet. We'll have to see his doctor first and get her opinion on it before we go see our options. She knows Sans very well and will no doubt be able to find him a suitable doctor.”

“Yes of course. It's always best to get their opinion first. Don't want to just throw him in some foreign environment. It's a bit of a walk, but I heard the capital has opened up an excellent children's hospital. A friend of mine works there, not in any mental health field, mind you. I think she actually specializes in fire monsters, but I could be mistaken. Anyways, I'm just saying it's a thought. I know a family that took their daughter there after she attempted-...had a little accident.” Grillby held back his snort at Sulfi's discomfort with the word suicide. “It was rather recent but she is recovering quite well!”

“Thanks for the offer, but I think Sans would be more comfortable with a place closer to Snowdin.”

“You're right. I just wanted to mention it, but I'm sure you are already thinking about it. Heaven knows it would be on my mind twenty-four seven if it was Fi. I'd have books all over the place trying to figure out what was wrong. He's very fortunate to have someone who is as experienced as you, isn't that right Flint?” Sulfi finished, demanding her husband to speak.

“Yes. You, uh-deal with it a lot better than how I did or would if it was Fiora.”

“Thank goodness she doesn't have anything wrong with her,” Grillby said, finishing his meal. “Wouldn't want two flames in Snowdin, now would we?” The bartender stood up, collecting his plate. “Excuse me, I'm going to check on my children.” He said before setting his plate in the sink and heading into the bedroom. After dinner was finished, Grillby went around double checking the bedroom in case they forgot anything. Papyrus stood by Sans, a deep frown on his face as he pouted. Sans was rather indifferent on the matter but did appear to be a bit troubled by how unhappy his brother was. He tried to convince his younger brother it was for the best but without a non-vague reason to leave, Papyrus was unhappy.

“I want to stay!” Papyrus cried, stomping his foot.

“Pap, we can't. We have to-” Sans tried to explain, but Papyrus continued to stomp.

“No, we don't! I want to stay! Sulfi said we could stay. You two just don't want to.” Papyrus pouted, crossing his arms.

“Papyrus you know it's best to go home now with everything that has happened. To stay here would be bad for Sans' health and my own.” Grillby told his child, fixing the covers on the bed.

“That's only because you and Uncle Flint fight all the time. You two needed to make up and be friends like Sans and I.”

“Not everyone is like you two, kid. Some people don't get along. I tried to get him to talk, and he didn't. You want to be upset, be upset at him, not with us.”

“Did he really not want to talk or are you lying?”

“Papyrus, I have been trying to make this relationship work for years. I told him that we had one last chance at it and when I asked him for his word, he was silent. It wasn't until I started to leave that he asked for time, but I've wasted enough.” Grillby said, tone becoming bitter.

“No, he wants time! Give him time. You give Sans all the time he needs, but when your brother needs is you don't?” Grillby groaned, for once actually kind of angry at Papyrus for being so ignorant on the topic.

“Papyrus, this isn't up for discussion. I will drag you out of here if I have to but we are leaving. Grab your backpack, Sans you too.” Sans slid his bag over his shoulder, but Papyrus threw his to the ground.

“No!” Sans looked worried, unhappy with his brother's unusual outburst. “You can talk. Go talk to him.” Papyrus demanded and Grillby turned around and frowned.

“Papyrus, pick up your bag.” The guardian ordered and but the younger skeleton remained still.

“Pap, come on,” Sans muttered, uncomfortable with Grillby's sudden parental behaviour.

“No!” Papyrus repeated, actually kicking his backpack farther away.

“Papyrus, you have till the count of three to pick up your bag,” Grillby warned the skeleton. Papyrus stomped his foot yet again, turning his head away. “One.” Sans made a small noise of distress. “Two.” Papyrus didn't move and Sans looked close to a panic attack. “Three.” A beat passed before Grillby grabbed a pillow from the bed, pressing it against his face and he let out a scream. He felt his flame burn brightly as he focused all his negative feeling into the pillow before he pulled away and dropped it on the bed. The boys were silent, sockets wide as the unusual burst of raw emotion from their guardian.

“Fine.” The bartender announced, readjusting himself. “I'll talk to him,” Papyrus grinned and ran over to hug Grillby by the bartender held out his hand, not wanting to be touched. “This is his last chance. After I'm done, we leave. End of discussion. Am I clear?” Papyrus nodded happily.

“Crystal!”

“Sans, make sure Papyrus is ready to go before I get back, alright?” Grillby instructed and Sans nodded, body a bit too stiff for Grillby's liking but the flame was not going to try to handle Sans and Flint. He'd deal with one problem before starting another. The orange flame marched out of the room and directing into Flint's office. He shut the door, unable to try to force himself to look anything short of annoyed as he looked at his brother.

“Let's talk.” Flint's flame grew slightly at Grillby's statement. The younger brother rested against the door trying to remain as calm as possible.

“I'm surprised you actually want to.”

“My children forced me to.”

“Ah, that makes more sense.” Flint closed his book and motioned to the open seat beside him. Grillby pushed off the door and sat down. He took a deep breath, trying to rid himself of the negativity he felt.

“I'm getting straight to the point. This overprotective thing you have over me has to stop.” Grillby started and Flint frowned. “I get it, you are worried. I made you worried. I made you overprotective, but now I'm telling you that you don't need to be.”

“Grillby, I can't just stop after what happened,” Flint stated, setting the book on the table.

“You think you can't, but you can. I'm not who I once was and you know this. I haven't been that way for decades. I know it was rough, but-”

“Rough is an understatement and you know it, Grillby. Rough is a few mood swings, not suicide.”

“Call it what you want, Flint. The point is I'm not suicidal anymore. I'm the exact opposite. I haven't been this happy since before the war.”

“That's great Grillby, it really is. I'm so happy that you are happy, but that doesn't stop me from worrying.” Grillby let out an annoying huff.

“You can worry all you want, but you don't have to think I am going to die if I'm not in your line of sight. I don't have a single reason why I would kill myself! I have a family now-”

“You had a family before!” Flint informed, voice rising. “You had a family before, yet that didn't stop you. You think just because you have children that I am going to think that you won't ever hurt yourself again? You had me and that didn't stop you. You have Bonnie yet you still attempted. You had close friends and family yet you still attempted, before all this tension between us happened.”

“It's different! You know it is! You don't love me the same way you love Fiora. The love may be equal, but it is completely different.” Flint was silent, unable to argue. “I get that it is probably really offensive and hurtful that you were unable to help me and they are. You may not think I understand how you are feeling, but I do.”

“How could you possibly understand how that feels?”

“Because of my children, Flint, because of Sans and Papyrus. Those two have taught me so much. Things I could never learn from some therapist. Things that help me understand you better, but the fact that you can't see my point of view frustrates me!” Grillby exclaimed.

“How am I supposed to see your point of view when you don't tell me anything?! Your children talk to you, Grillby! You were never in my position!”

“Instead of wondering why I don't tell you things, Flint. You should be figuring out why I won't. The shrink told you that day one and you never listened. You just get angry and overprotective and that is the worst thing you could do. I don't want to feel like a child, but all you ever do is constantly baby me like I am one.”

“I don't-”

“Yes, you do.” Grillby voice was flat and assertive, gaze hard. “Look at how my children react to each other, Flint. Do they fight? Does Sans treat Papyrus like glass? Does Papyrus treat Sans like he is broken? Do I treat either of them like how you treat me?”

“You keep bringing up your children, but I don't understand why. So Sans is a little unstable, but he was never where you were. You can't compare how you feel with them to how I feel about you. They aren't the same.”

“Sans is borderline suicidal, Flint.” Flint's yellow flame flickered a lime green. “Sans is exactly where I was before I attempted and do I treat him like you treat me? Do you see Papyrus hovering over his brother afraid if he goes to school, Sans'll somehow kill himself in the bathroom? No. That is why I keep bringing them up Flint, because they are exactly how we should be, but aren't. Sans he-...He is exactly where I was only what he had been through,” Grillby let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “He is falling down the same pit I did, Flint. He's depressed, hearing things, violent, self-destructive, everything and despite all that I'm not jumping down his throat like you did to me.”

“Why didn't you get him help sooner?” Flint asked and Grillby's eyes narrowed.

“How well did that work out when you forced me to get some?” Grillby stated bitterly, Flint winced at the tone. “Should I remind you? It resulted with me moving away and not talking to any of you for months. You cannot force someone to get help, you encourage them. I will never drag Sans to the hospital and force him to speak to someone about topics he is too afraid to tell anyone. You know why? Because that doesn't help. Believe it or not, Flint, but the whole overprotective parental vibe you give me only makes matters worse. Because I grew up with you and had to go through all of this, I know exactly what not to do to Sans. I also know precisely how you feel, but I know it won't help. You know what will? Patience, love, and acceptance.”

Flint was quiet and Grillby continued.

“You would not believe how far both of them have come. Sans used to be too afraid to let Papyrus out of his sight. He would attack anyone who got close to them including me. He used to have a panic attack and flashbacks so bad all he could do was scream and cry until Papyrus came and helped him. Those two couldn't be separated or else they'd both freak out. They didn't know how to read or write. They didn't know what a shower was or what a home was. But I helped them by treating them like regular monsters and not glass. They both now go to school and Sans is the brightest eleven-year-old I have ever seen. The two can now leave each other’s side and not constantly worry where the other is and if they are okay. Sans now trusts others and doesn't hurt or attack them.” The bartender paused a bit before adding on, “Usually. Should he still get help? Yes, and I told him this. His panic attacks won't just go away, but they are decreasing. I have helped these two out these past seven months better than you have ever helped me out in the past decade, Flint. I know what helps and what doesn't. So listen to me when I tell you that being overprotective doesn't help us.”

“Then what will, Grillby? You are telling me all these things, but that doesn't help me. I don't know how else to help you! I don't know how to stop worrying.” The yellow flame said, voice desperate and small.

“You won't ever stop worrying,” Grillby told his brother, voice a bit heavy. “But how you feel gets put on the back burner, Flint. How they feel always takes priority. In fact, come here.” Grillby offered his hand to his brother and Flint took it. “Let me show you exactly what would happen if I acted like you do with them.” Pulling his older brother to his feet, Grillby grabbed his arm and lead him to the guest bedroom. Grillby knocked before opening it up, spotting Papyrus and Sans on the floor colouring. They look up at Grillby and smiled, the smile looking a bit forced when they noticed the yellowish glow beside him. The bartender had Flint out of sight and hoped it would be enough to have Sans be at ease. The skeleton looked a little wary but kept his gaze focused on the bartender.

“I got a question for you two,” Grillby announced, resting against the door, blocking any sign of Flint that might be poking through. “How would you feel if I constantly hovered over you two all the time?” They both looked at each other.

“Annoyed,” Sans replied Grillby looked at Flint briefly.

“Kiddo, you love Papyrus right?” Sans looked offended by the question.

“Of course, I do.”

“When you two first started living with me, you wouldn't let Pap out of your sight and he was always by your side. Do you remember that?” They nodded. “Why?”

“I was worried Papyrus was going to get hurt. I wasn't there to protect him and he could hurt himself or someone could hurt him.”

“Do you still worry that might happen?”

“Yes.”

“But not as much, right?” The skeleton shrugged, bobbing his head. “Pap, you worry about Sans too, right?”

“Very much!”

“Now you two both have come a long way since we first met, right? You can leave each other’s side without spending every second panicking. Why do you think that is?” Sans and Papyrus looked at each other.

“We feel safe.” They answered simultaneously.

“Papyrus doesn't like it when I hover over him,” Sans added.

“Sans doesn't like it when I worry about him.” Papyrus continued.

“So you respect each other feelings and listen to one another ever though you feel a different way?” They nodded. “Imagine that.” The bartender stated sarcastically to his brother. “Sans, let's say Papyrus is really upset and has been for a long time. He is very depressed and moody and sometimes acts like you do when you are having a bad day. How would you help him?” Sans looked at his younger brother, pulling him into his arms.

“I'd make him feel better.”

“How?”

“I'd hug him and play with him and make him happy. I'd do anything to make him feel better. I'd read him stories and make him dinner! I'd listen to him and help him in any way I could.” The younger skeleton nuzzled his brother and Sans smiled.

“What if you do all that and Papyrus still didn't get better? Would you be upset at him?” Grillby continued to question and Sans smile faded slightly.

“No, it's not his fault. There's a reason he's upset and I need to find out what that is and try to find out how to help him.”

“Now, what if, after a while, Papyrus gets better. But, you weren't the one he went to in order to get help.” Sans frowned but Papyrus spoke up.

“It's like you and Sans.” The older skeleton looked down at his brother. “I love Sans and try my best to help him, but it doesn't work all the time. Sans feels better talking to you, though, and he's happier.”

“Does that upset you at all?” The guardian wondered as the older skeleton gave his brother a nervous look.

“No, because all that matters is that Sans is happy. If Sans feels better talking to you then that's fine. I worry sometimes because I don't know if he is okay or why he gets upset, but if he doesn't want to tell me then I won't force him. I'm content knowing that my brother is getting better and happy. I do not care who he talks to or how he gets better, as long as he does.” Papyrus squeezed Sans' arms and the elder skeleton placed a skeletal kiss to his brother's skull.

“So Pap, what if Sans gets better and has no more panic attacks or anything. He hasn't had a single attack in five years. Would you worry about him still? Would you watch him and fear he would go back to being sad?” Papyrus looked befuddled and shook his head.

“No, why would I think he'd go back to being sad? I know how to help him and he is okay now. If he ever goes back, I will get you and you will help him feel better.” Grillby locked his gaze with his brother, face emotionless.

“Take notes.” He whispered and Flint just crossed his arm, looking down at the ground.

“Let's roleplay for a minute now.” The bartender stated directing his attention back to his children. “Sans, let’s say you told Papyrus to come back inside at seven for dinner, but he was a bit late and came in at nine.”

“I wouldn't let that happen. I'd leave and find him as soon as it was 7:01.” The older skeleton exclaimed, faster than Grillby could finish.

“Well, let's say for now that you didn't go after him, this is hypothetical. Papyrus came home, perfectly okay at nine, how would you react?”

“I'd make sure he is okay and if he was I'd ask him why he came home late and where he was.”

“I was out playing with Bonnie by the big tree!” Papyrus announced, enjoying the roleplay.

“Why didn't you come home on time?” Sans asked his brother, poking him in the ribs.

“I lost track of time.”

“But I was worried, what if a bear ate you?”

“I'm sorry I made you worry.” Papyrus hugged his brother giggling quietly. “You don't need to worry, though. Burnie is a nice bear, he does not eat skeletons.” Sans chuckled, giving Papyrus a skeleton kiss on his forehead.

“You never apologized,” Flint muttered and Grillby gave him a stern look.

“Now let’s pretend that Papyrus was out getting groceries with Bonnie and it was just me and you Sans. The same situation as before, you came home late. Sans, why did you come home late?”

“I was at the library?”

“They have a clock there. Why weren't you paying attention to it?” The corners of Sans' mouth twitched slightly.

“Because I was busy, I'm sorry I was late.”

“Busy doing what? I asked you to come home at seven and you didn't. I am very angry at you.”

“You don't get angry, Grillby!” Papyrus corrected.

 

“Fine, disappointed. I am very disappointed that you came home late.” The skeleton's brow furrowed.

“Why are you being so mean?” Sans asked, confused by the roleplay.

“I'm not being mean. I'm letting you know how I feel. I was really worried about you, but you don't seem to care.”

“That's not true!” The older skeleton shouted, looking hurt by Grillby's statement.

“See, Flint?” Grillby pointed between the Sans and himself. “See what is happening? We have started to argue and fight because I kept pushing him. Sans and Papyrus managed to end their conversation on a good note because Sans trusted Papyrus and accepted his apology. Sans, how did you feel when I kept arguing with you?”

“Bad, I didn't like it. You wouldn't listen to me and kept jumping down my throat. You made me feel frustrated.”

“Frustrated,” Grillby repeated to his brother. “Both of you, how would you feel if I acted like that all the time?” They both scowled shaking their head.

“I would not enjoy living with you,” Papyrus admitted with a frown.

“Can I say I'd hit you?” Sans asked and Grillby nodded. “I'd hit you, and I would not allow Papyrus to be near you. I don't think I'd agree to stay with you in the bar either.”

“All because I acted like you did,” Grillby whispered to his brother who looked a bit ashamed. “Kids, why do you enjoy living with me?”

“You're nice!” The younger skeleton beamed. “You gave us a home and feed us and take care of us!”

“You help us and always listen and don't get mad,” Sans added.

“And you let us sleep in your bed when we get nightmares and you help Sans feel better and always make sure we are okay!”

“And you don't pressure us to talk or do anything we don't want to.”

“And you introduced us to Bonnie and took us to school and taught us to read!”

“And you believe us when we tell you things. You always put our needs over your own and make sure we are comfortable and happy.”

“You try to understand us.”

“You love us.”

“We are a family!” Papyrus finished, radiating a happy aura. Grillby smiled, his undying love for his children causing his soul to swell, his natural orange flame flickering yellow.

“Thank you,” Grillby said before closing the door and turning to his brother. “Do you see what happens when you treat them like regular monsters? Do you see what would happen if you treated me like a brother instead of a baby? Papyrus is eight and he understands this better than you.”

“Look, I'm sorry alright?” Flint exclaimed, leading back to his office. “I get it, I was wrong. I should have listened and trusted you. I was just scared, Grillby. I almost lost you three times, four counting the war.” The yellow flame told his brother. “We lost mom and dad and instead of sticking together you went to war. The same war our parents died in! I didn't think you'd come back and when you did, you weren't the same. You still aren't the same. I've grown to accept that, though. But I just can't stop worrying. You are all I have left and I almost lost you one too many times. I can't lose you too, Grillby, I just can't.” The yellow flame looked so defeated and tired. Grillby wanted to reach out and comfort his brother but held himself back.

“I am sorry I put you through that, I really am. But you need to know that I am better and I am never going to be that person again. I don't enjoy hating you. I don't want our relationship to be destroyed because of this. I want to have you as a brother and be able to actually want to call and talk to you. However, I'm going to need you to actually treat me like an adult for once and not some dying flame.” Grillby pressed, the two holding a steady gaze.

“I'll try,” Flint promised and his younger brother offered him a small smile.

“That's all I ask.”

“You have to call and keep me informed, though. I'd like to actually know if you decide to adopt any more children.” Grillby chuckled softly.

“As long as you promise not to judge every decision I make.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.” The two shook on it and sat in silence for a few moments.

“Do we-uh, hug?” Flint wondered.

“Don't make it weird. You know I'm not the hugging type.” Grillby replied and Flint scoffed.

“You hug your children at least twenty times a day!”

“Eh.” Grillby shrugged and Flint shoved him gently, the two laughing.

“You still plan on heading out?” The yellow flame asked, face looking both sad and hopeful. Grillby took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I'm not sure.” He answered honestly. "I told Sans if we made any progress that we'd stay one more day, but he really wants to leave. I would like to get him home too, it would be best. But our talk could fall flat if we leave it like this. We'll need to at least stay till morning. I just, don't know yet. I'll have to talk to them." Grillby admitted, thinking over his options. He really should go home, but even if he left right now he still wouldn't be able to take Sans to a doctor. They would be closed and the kid would most likely not be up for it. Grillby would just have to talk to his kids.

“Well, you know I got some fireworks left over from the flower festival in the Capital. We could set a few off as a goodbye?” Flint offered, smirking.

“I thought you were the older brother.” Grillby teased, a smile forming on his own face.

“Doesn't mean I still can't throw some fireworks into the lava and watch it explode. You in, Grill? We could even try to aim at that rock shaped like a Froggit.” Grillby stood up, flame flickering happily as he offered his hand to his brother.

“Course I am, you throw like a Pyrope tied in a knot.” Grillby snorted, grinning as Flint glared playfully at him before taking the hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who commented on the last chapter. I am so happy to see that it helped a lot of you (or just made you feel a lot of pain). Knowing it helped a lot you really made my day.
> 
> Again, sorry this chapter is meh. Everytime I tried to add to it, it always just ended up being a rephrase of what happened in the last chapter during Grillby's mental episode. So I focused on the dialogue and the main focus of repairing the flame bro's bond because this little flame family reunion is coming to and end.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	25. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.

The fireworks weren't as glorious as Grillby had expected. They turned out to not be the giant explosive ones Flint would steal from the neighbors when they were younger, but they still provided a loud enough bang to disturb the houses around them. It was enjoyable, to say the least. Grillby couldn't recall the last time he'd been with his brother for this long without fighting. It was refreshing to be near him and not feel completely exhausted.

When the explosives ran out the brothers headed back inside. It had gotten a lot later than they had realized, but it was hard to tell with the ever-present glow of lava supplying a constant light source. Grillby went to check on his children and found them on the bed. Papyrus was asleep, resting on Sans' lap. The elder skeleton was awake and staring off into space, snapping back to reality once Grillby opened the door.

“Hey, sorry it took so long,” Grillby said and Sans just shrugged.

“Are we leaving now?”

“I'm not sure.” The bartender admitted, resting against the doorway. “We actually made progress, but I know you want to go home. Would you mind staying one more day?” The skeleton's face held no emotion as he thought. Instead of using his voice Sans just shrugged yet again, looking down at Papyrus. “Something bugging you?” Grillby questioned, noticing the skeleton's rather blank profile.

“No.”

“You sure?”

“No.”

“Is it that thing you want to talk about earlier?” Grillby wondered, recalling Sans looking a little troubled earlier that day.

“I guess.”

“What's wrong, kiddo? You aren't acting like yourself.” The fire element strolled over to his child, sitting on the bed beside him.

“I don't feel like myself,” Sans admitted, looking at his hands. “Ever since I woke up I've been feeling funny.”

“What kind of funny?”

“An unstable kind of funny. I feel like I'm here but not really and I can't stay focused on anything and every time something upsets me it feels like I'm about to lose it.”

“Sans, that's not good. Why didn't you come get me?” Grillby really needed to get this kid to stop keeping these things to himself. The bartender could read the child most of the time, but sometimes Sans was rather stone-faced and impossible to read.

“I had Pap and I didn't want to bother you.” The skeleton replied, expression still neutral.

“You coming to get me doesn't bother me at all Sans, you know this. I want you to. That's what we do, we rely on each other.”

“I did, I relied on Papyrus.”

“Kid, you know what I mean. You could have gotten me, I was just with Flint.”

“I know. That's why I didn't go.” Sans bluntly admitted. Grillby sighed, hand combing through the flame burning on his head.

“Sans, Flint isn't a bad guy.” The skeleton remained silent. “He won't hurt you. He's not Gaster.” The child began playing with the zipper on his parka. “Sans, this isn't okay. You can't be afraid of every monster who talks in a firm voice. Not everyone will talk like I do, there are a lot of people who speak in the same tone as Flint. He's not Gaster, no one is. You told me he was gone.”

“He is,” Sans mumbled, recalling vividly the day Gaster was erased.

“Then why are you so afraid? Does he look like him?”

“No.” Sans' blank facade began to crack, mouth twitching downward.

“So you are just afraid of his tone?”

“I don't know!” Sans snapped, aggravated by all the questions. “I don't know! I just am! It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense. I'm just messed up. I don't know!” Grillby leaned back a bit during the outburst, startled for a second before he regained his composure. Papyrus stirred, not opening his eyes, but moving his body to snuggle closer to his brother before he stilled.

“Hey, calm down, kiddo. I'm not upset, I just want to know. You don't have to get defensive.” The fire element told the skeleton in a gentle tone.

“I'm just crazy,” Sans grumbled face twisted into a scowl, but tears were forming in his sockets. “It's-It's all just-” Sans voice cracked and he groaned, furiously rubbing at his sockets.

“Sans you aren't crazy,” Grillby told his son who just scoffed. “You aren't, Sans. You are just easily triggered. There's nothing wrong with you.”

“What do you mean triggered?” Sans questioned, his scowl softening slightly.

“You are just sensitive to things that remind you of your past. It happens to people who've had traumatic experiences, like you and me. I use to be triggered very easily after the war. Just the smallest reminder set me off, but you get better. You just need to take it slow. You can't get better in a day, Sans.” The skeleton grunted eyes cast downward.

“I won't get better at all,” Sans mumbled and Grillby lightly tapped the skeleton's skull with the back of his hand.

“Don't talk like that. You'll improve, bonehead.” Grillby offered Sans a smile, but the skeleton did not return it. He instead turned his head away, tracing random patterns on the pillow. Maybe he should just take his kids home today. Grillby would like to stay another day, but Sans wasn't looking too good and if Flint really was this big of a trigger then it would be best to get Sans away until he is a little more stable. It was almost ten but if they left now Grillby should be able to make it home before midnight. He'd be exhausted but at least Sans would hopefully be more comfortable at home.

“I think it's best if we head home.” The older skeleton gave no response,but he did nudge his sleeping brother who groaned but slowly sat up. Grillby needed to take care of these two first. He couldn't predict Sans' actions and his abnormal behaviour was concerning. The flame thought Sans could play a simple game of monsters and humans and the skeleton ended up a sobbing mess, so Grillby wasn't going to chance it by staying another day. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Sans and Papyrus said goodbye to Fiora and Sulfi but only Papyrus said goodbye to Flint while Sans waited by the door, back to them. The bartender told his brother not to be too offended and that he'd call as soon as he got a new phone. Sulfi asked one last time if they wanted to stay the night, but Grillby refused and just told them he'd visit again. With one final wave, the three were gone and their short adventure in Hotland was over. The family of three would now return home and spend their 'summer' most likely helping Sans through the struggle ahead of him.

Both children had fallen asleep on the boat ride home and Grillby used the silent time to think. Tomorrow he'd most likely get a new phone, call Flint, and then make an appointment with Ellen. The bartender needed to reschedule a check-up for Sans anyways and perhaps now the skeleton would be more open than before. The kid had a long way to go and if Grillby was honest, he didn't believe Sans was ready to open up to anyone yet, or at least not anyone he wasn't comfortable with. Even if the bartender wanted Sans to improve and get help, he didn't want him to have a panic attack the second someone asked him about his past. Grillby really didn't want to have to apologize for his son trying to accidentally kill any more people. Perhaps it would be best to try to see how open Sans was willing to be with his guardian first. That way, at least Grillby could warn or suggest the doctor who ended up with Sans to avoid certain topics.

“Tra la la, there's a chill in the air.” The Riverman sang as the boat docked at the Snowdin stop. Grillby was brought out of his daze and noticed their destination. He picked up his sleeping children and carefully exited the boat.

“Thank you.” The bartender said, adjusting his children and bag so he wouldn't lose his balance.

“Tra la la, when snow piles up for years and years, just the smallest snowflake can offset the balance and cause an avalanche.” The mysterious figured hummed, already rowing away before Grillby could question what he meant. The Riverman was known for offering random advice or little one-liners, but Grillby never took them to heart. He thought them to be as factual as a horoscope, but that comment didn't settle right with him.

Shaking it off, the fire element made his way home. Once he arrived, he was surprised to see a light on and the door unlocked. Bonnie sat on the couch, lounging as she surrounded herself with a large array of vegetables, her one clean finger was flickering through the channels with a bored expression. Upon hearing Grillby enter she glanced up and looked surprised to see him.

“What went wrong?” She asked, mouth full of carrots.

“I'll have you know it ended on a positive note,” Grillby replied, removing his shoes. Sans and Papyrus both began to stir, half-lidded sockets looking around their home. Grillby set them down and they yawned and allowed their guardian to remove their shoes and jackets.

“Hi, Bonnie.” Papyrus greeted and the bunny waved.

“Hey kiddos, have a fun trip?”

“It was fine.” The younger skeleton replied, yawning.

“Go head on up to bed you two. I'll be there in a second.” Grillby told them and Sans nodded, slowly making his way up the stairs with Papyrus in tow.

“So if it ended positively why are you back early?” Bonnie turned down the volume on the TV as the bartender hung up the children's jackets.

“Sans had an episode and wasn't acting like himself. We were going to stay one more day, but I didn't want to chance it.” Grillby informed his friend and she nodded, offering a carrot to Grillby who declined.

“Was it a bad one?”

“Probably the worst one yet, but he agreed to see someone at least.”

“Well, that's an improvement,” Bonnie smiled, pushing herself up and dusting the crumbs off of her, wiping her fingers on her shirt. “Go unpack your bag and de-stress, I'll get the kids in bed.” The bunny monster told the flame who nodded. Sans and Papyrus were both already in the bed, snuggling together on the bottom bunk. Bonnie smiled and went around the room, tossing their dirty clothes in the hamper and tucking them both in. Grillby came in before Bonnie turned the light off making sure they were both okay before he turned on their nightlight and felt the room, door left open just a crack. The two adult monsters went downstairs and Grillby sat down on the small section of his couch not covered in Bonnie's junk and let out a long sigh.

“It's so great to be home.” The bartender admitted, sinking into his couch, flame flickering happily. “This couch smells like lettuce, have you not moved since we left?”

“This is my vacation too! You would not believe how much me time I have gotten.” Bonnie grinned, looking over her nails.

“You didn't sleep here, did you?” Grillby motioned to the pillow on the floor and Bonnie shrugged. “Bon, you know you could have used my bed.”

“How scandalous, Grillby. A grown woman sleeping in the bed of their close male friend? Unheard of.” The bartender snorted, flicking a piece of broccoli at his friend. “I'm joking. I was too lazy to move most nights and also didn't want you finding my fur in your bed for the next fifty years. I'd rather have it all concentrated in one place.” Bonnie patted the couch and Grillby made a face of disgust.

“You're cleaning my couch before you leave.”

“'Course, Grillby, of course. Now, why don't you open up a bottle of your favourite poison and bring in two glasses and we'll have a nice chat about your visit.” The flame did exactly as she asked and began blabbering away as Bonnie poured the drinks.

Grillby told Bonnie all about the trip and she listened, continuing to refill drinks when their glasses were empty. The bartender told his friend about the panic attack, his fears for Sans, his thoughts, everything. Bonnie was the one person Grillby didn't have to hold back with. She had literally seen Grillby at his weakest and stood by him through his entire road to recovery. The fire element had always trusted Bonnie, but after she put up with his suicide attempts, mood swings, and overall shitty attitude, then Grillby could know he could trust this girl with his life.

“But like,” Grillby waved his hand in the air, the first three buttons on his shirt opened due to how hot he felt.

“I get you, By, I do.” Bonnie tried to pat Grillby's knee and missed a few tried but finally got it. “You made the right ch-choice.” Bonnie hiccupped, one ear drooping forward.

“Right? I thought so. Sans comes first, kid needs it. I mean, fuck, who knows what would have happened if I stayed, ya know? I worry, Bun. I'm like an orange Flint.”

“Nooo!” Bonnie attempted to cover Grillby's mouth, but ended up just placing her paw on his face. “You are justif-fied. Sans need-needs you, buddy. You can worry. I worry. It's okay, honey bun.” Bonnie rested her face against Grillby's shoulder. “Gosh, you are waaarm. It's like your-” Bonnie stopped herself and let out a loud laugh. “Grillby!” She shouted and the flame attempted to silence her so she wouldn't wake up his children. “No, no, listen. I-ha ha! I was about to say 'it's like your made out of fire'. But-but Grill,” Bonnie had her paws over her own mouth, stifling her giggles. “You are.”

“You're so drunk,” Grillby exclaimed, and Bonnie giggled, falling back onto the couch, clutching her stomach. “God, what have I done? Why did I put you in control of the alcohol?”

“You made a mistake!” Bonnie grinned, downing the rest of her glass before Grillby could stop her.

“Just don't wake up my kids.” The bartender warned, taking the bottle away from his friend.

“Aw, you're so cute when you act like a dad!” Bonnie squealed and Grillby rolled his eyes, small shades of pink passing through him.

“Tease me all you want. I'm going to taunt the fuck out of you when you are a mom.” Bonnie gasped, sitting up.

“Pssshhh, you're just jealous I'll have the cutest babies in the entire world!” Grillby let out a loud laugh.

“That all depends on who you bond with.”

“Exactly, which is why I'm looking for the right person! I can't just get with someone because we are friends, I mean look at us! Could you imagine flaming bunnies running around? That's terrifying.” Grillby choked on his drink.

“Holy shit, that would be.” The bartender howled, doubling over. “The real question is, would it be a bunny on fire or a fire in the shape of a bunny.”

“Well, that sounds cute! Aw, it would have a little-flamed tail and ears. AW! Grillby, I take it back, that sounds adorable! We should totally bond!” Bonnie flung herself at Grillby and the flame chuckled, pushing the bunny away.

“But what if it turns out to be a bunny on fire? You can't rush into these things.”

“You're right. You know Penny? She had a baby last week with her husband and Grillby, I love babies. You know I am made of nothing but love and mom material, but holy crap, that baby is ugly.” Grillby burst out laughing. “No, I'm serious. You know her husband right? The moose guy? Imagine the hybrid of a moose and pig. Grillby, imagine it. It has this big snout, but with a pig nose and giant antlers and it's covered in some weird wiry fur and just-” Bonnie cringed, shaking her head. “I'm happy for them, really I am, but holy hell that baby.”

“Guess I hit the jackpot then, huh? No partner troubles and two adorable kids.” 

“Those two are adorable, Grillby. I'll give you that. You think I could get them to call me Mom? Then I won't ever have to worry about kids.” Bonnie grinned, eyes closing.

“Pap'll call you anything,” Grillby admitted with a shrug, staring up at the ceiling. “Sans'll probably not. He thinks about it too much, ya know? He still doesn't call me Dad as often as Pap. Maybe you should-” Grillby turned his head and spotted Bonnie curled up, snoring softly. “Bon?” Her ear twitched and Grillby chuckled. “'Night, you dork.”

Grillby and Bonnie both ended up passing out on the couch and ignored the feeling of bony hands poking them the following morning. Bonnie was on her stomach, drooling on the cushion as Papyrus poked her twitching ear. Grillby had one leg off the couch, the other propped up on Bonnie's back while his body was slouched against the edge of the couch with Sans nudging his side.

“They smell funny,” Papyrus whispered, face scrunching up. Sans nodded, kicking at the numerous items littering the floor.

“They've been drinking,” Sans muttered, picking up the open bottle. The skeletons sniffed the bottle and cringed, capping it and setting it down. “I'm hungry,” Sans grumbled.

“Maybe we can make breakfast?” Papyrus offered by Sans shook his head.

“You aren't moving that arm and Grillby doesn't like me using magic in the house.” Papyrus grabbed his brother's hand and tugged him into the kitchen.

“Then we won't use magic!” He pointed to the chair and Sans sighed, but dragged the dining room chair into the kitchen and propped it in front of the stove. “Let's make eggs!” Papyrus handed Sans the carton and grinned. The skeleton brothers searched the kitchen for different utensils and supplies, completely unfamiliar with where anything was. Somehow they managed to find a large pot and Sans began smashing the eggs open causing them to splatter everywhere. After three eggs littered the walls and ground, Sans finally got the hang of it and got one in the pot.

“How many do I add?”

“All!”

“There's like eight.”

“All!!” Papyrus giggled, but Sans shrugged and cracked them all open. Papyrus handed his brother a large spatula and the older skeleton began poking and swirling the eggy mixture together, frowning down at it. Realizing he didn't turn on the stove, he twisted the nob and waited until he heard sizzling. Smiling, he resumed nudging and swirling the eggs together.

“What else should we add?”

“Everything!” Sans stopped stirring, thinking of the suggestion before nodding.

“Give me the ketchup.” One sauce after the next, Sans squirted and added everything Papyrus handed him until the once scrambled eggs turned into some dark brown soup with egg pieces floating in it. It smelt oddly sweet, sour, and poisonous all at the same time and both boys stared down at the pot with blank expressions.

“It needs sprinkles.” Papyrus voiced and Sans doubted it would help but reached into the cabinet and allowed his brother to begin adding copious amounts of heart shaped sprinkles. “There.” He grinned staring down at the thick goop in the pot. “Let's give it to them!” Sans nodded and grabbed the pot's handles and carefully stepped off the chair, carrying it over to the sleeping monsters. Papyrus stood beside him and took a deep breath.

“Good morning!!!” He shouted and both sleeping forms jolted awake. They both nearly jumped out of their skins, Grillby scorching the ceiling and Bonnie's fur puffed out. They shot up and quickly grabbed their heads, groaning. “Good morning, sleepyheads!” Papyrus greeted.

“Fuck, Pap please.” Grillby hissed, his child's voice far too loud for his hangover. Grillby squinted, looking up at his children who peered back at him.

“What's that smell?” Bonnie asked, ears sagging. Grillby's eyes trailed down to the pot Sans held and his nausea grew.

“We made breakfast!” Papyrus announced and Sans stepped forward and set the pot down on the table and both monsters looked down at the bubbling mixture and gagged.

“What is that?” Grillby questioned, covering his mouth.

“Eggs,” Sans replied and if Grillby literally didn't feel like he was about to vomit everywhere, he would have laughed. Bonnie shook her head, rising to her feet.

“I'm going to be sick.” She groaned, stumbling her way to the bathroom. Papyrus frowned, looking worried.

“Is she okay?” Grillby just rested his head in his hands, headache growing.

“Yeah, she's fine. Just, uh...place that in the kitchen for me, okay?” Grillby motioned to the pot as he struggled to stand up. Sans took the pot away and set it back on the stove.

“You two look sick.” Papyrus blurted as his guardian struggled to hold back his nausea.

“Pap, they're hungover,” Sans said and Grillby lifted his head, looking at Sans.

“Who taught you that?”

“I go to school with teenagers,” Sans said with a shrug.

“What's hungover?” Papyrus asked.

“It means he's too sick to eat our breakfast.” Papyrus faced his brother, whining and Grillby mouth a silent thank you. “Come one, Pap. Let's get dressed and we can head outside.” Sans stated and Papyrus gasped excitedly, bolting upstairs to their bedroom his brother trudging after him.

“Thanks, kiddo,” Grillby said and Sans just shrugged, going into his room. The skeleton brothers got ready and Bonnie and Grillby attempted to sober themselves up with handfuls of pills and water for Bonnie. The bartender groaned at the sight of his destroyed kitchen and Bonnie had laughed before she saw the state of her couch home and whined. Sans and Papyrus made their way down the stair and over to the door.

“Where are you two going?” Grillby asked from the kitchen, scrubbing egg off the stove.

“I want to go outside and play!” Papyrus announced, hands reaching out for his jacket that was too high for either of them. Sans used his magic to bring the coats lower, handing his brother his jacket.

“I have plans today, I don't know when I'll be back,” Grillby told his children as they pulled on their jackets.

“I have my key. I'll stay with Pap.” Sans called, wrapping his brother up in his scarf. “We'll be home later.”

“Wait, where will you two be?”

“Park,” Sans replied with a tone flat.

“Alright, be safe. I want you home in a few hours.”

“Okay, bye!” Papyrus shouted and Sans gave a small wave before shutting the door. Bonnie stared at the wooden door, lips pursed.

“Did Sans seem normal to you?” She wondered aloud and Grillby dropped the washcloth in the sink and frowned.

“No, he didn't.”

Sans held Papyrus' hand as the two strolled down the street. Papyrus greeted everyone with a wide smile and friendly hello. Sans simply mustered up the best smile he could manage, which was only the corner of his mouth twitching up, and waved. Yesterday he had felt odd, but today he felt even stranger. He would describe it as numb, but it wasn't as suffocating and depressing as he was used to. He simply did not feel like reacting. He could force a smile or laugh because he did not feel like doing it. Things amused him, yet he didn't show it and he'd say it was bothering him, but he didn't feel bothered. Sans felt like a blank canvas covered in wax. All these emotions kept trying to cover him, but this wax film preventing anything from showing or staying. Sans should have told Grillby but with leaving yesterday evening and dealing with his hangover, Sans felt like he wouldn't be in the mood.

Papyrus spotted a few of his friends playing at the small park and dragged Sans over. The children were ecstatic to see Papyrus and invited him to play their game of tag.

“Sans do you want to join us?” Papyrus asked his brother who managed a much more convincing smile for his brother.

“It's cool, be careful with your arm. I'll sit on the bench and watch.” Sans pointed to the bench behind him and Papyrus seemed apprehensive at first but nodded, allowing his brother to go. A game of tag would require far too much energy that Sans was not willing to put in. Instead, he sat on the bench and watched his brother but of course that grew boring after a while and soon he was lost in thought.

Sans really should tell Grillby how he felt. They promised to tell each other things and to not keep secrets no matter what. Yet here Sans was, holding back. He always seemed to break his promises. He promised to keep Papyrus safe and failed so many times. He promised, to be honest and lied. He promised to go to Grillby if he felt bad but didn't. Sans really should just stop trying.

**_“Promises are hard to keep, huh?”_ **

Sans sockets widened and his body stiffened. His eyes darted around searching for a body, he prayed the voice came from. Detecting no logical source of the voice, the skeleton felt himself begin to panic.

**_“Why do you keep making promises if you can't keep them?”_ **

Sans took in a deep breath, not feeling threatened for once by this new voice. It wasn't insulting him or ordering him around. It just seemed like it wanted to talk, but should he respond?

“I don't know,” Sans muttered both to himself and to the voice.

**_“That's a stupid answer.”_ **

“I'm sorry?”

**_“That's even worse. What are you apologizing for?”_ **

“For everything? I don't know. Who are you?”

**_“Who are you?”_ **

“I'm Sans.”

 ** _“I'm Sans.”_** The skeleton frowned.

“No, you aren't.”

 ** _“No, you aren't.”_** Was his insanity mocking him?

“Shut up.”

 ** _“Make me.”_** Sans glared down at the snow. **_“Didn't think so.”_**

“Go away.”

 ** _“No,”_** Sans grunted shoving his hands into his pockets. **_“I don't like you.”_**

“The feeling is mutual.”

 ** _“You're weak.”_** Sans rested his head in his hands, wondering why he didn't care more about the fact that he was talking to himself. **_“Hey, don't ignore me.”_**

“Tell me something I don't know then.” Sans spat, unaware of the looks he was getting as people walked by.

 ** _“Did you know that Gaster is right behind you?”_** Sans gasped, turning around but no one was there.

“ **Yo͢u i̴di̢o̷t!!̕!”** Voice number two cackled and Sans growled, slouching down in the bench.

“Leave me alone. You aren't real.” Sans mumbled yanking his hood up.

“Papyrus!” One of the younger skeleton's friend called, rushing over to him. “Your brother is talking to himself.” She said and Papyrus' smile fell as he looked up at Sans who was indeed talking to no one, yet still moving his mouth. Although Papyrus couldn't hear his brother, his mouth was moving and he'd occasionally flinch or glare at the ground or around him. The younger skeleton abandoned his snowman he was building with the other children and rushed over.

“Brother?” Papyrus called and Sans groaned, tugging his hood over his face.

“Stop it. You're just being cruel.”

“Sans?” Papyrus tried once more, reaching his good hand out.

“Go-” Sans spun around, ready to shout, but his angry look melted as Papyrus stood beside him, sockets wide. “Pap. Hey-uh, what are you doing? Why aren't you with your friends?”

“Should I get Grillby?” Papyrus asked, brow furrowed.

“No, I'm fine. Go play with your friends.” Sans insisted, but Papyrus refused to move.

“You were talking to yourself. I saw you.” The older skeleton looked away. “I don't think you should be alone.” The younger skeleton admitted, but his brother was unhappy with his comment.

“Papyrus, I'm fine. Go play with your friends.”

“Come with.”

“No.”

“Then I'll stay here.” Papyrus sat on the bench beside Sans and the skeleton groaned.

“This is boring you won't like it. Go play. Look, they are calling you over.” Sans pointed to the friend who was indeed waving at Papyrus but the skeleton's gaze was focused on his brother.

“You haven't been acting like yourself.” The younger brother stated and his older sibling squirmed.

“Papyrus, we are going to have a snowball fight, do you want to play?” Three children ran over to the skeletons, directing their attention only to the young sibling.

“No, my brother isn't feeling alright. I want to stay with him.”

“Pap, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'll try not to be too bonely without you.” Sans forced a smile and a few chuckled. The three boys gave Sans a look of disgust before directing their attention to Papyrus.

“He's fine, Papyrus!” The mouse child said.

“Yeah, we need you to even out the teams.” Papyrus looked torn between the two and Sans knew he needed to step up his game.

“Come one bro. You snow it'll be an ice time!” Sans joked, nudging his brother's side.

“Only for a little bit,” Papyrus said and the boys cheered and dragged him away.

“Your brother is really weird.” The reptile boy in a red shirt said and the others nodded.

“He makes stupid jokes too.” The green-shirted mouse monster added.

“He's not weird.” Papyrus defended, looking a bit offended.

“He's crazy. Everyone saw him talking to himself. Your brother nuts.” The lizard monster in the yellow shirt voiced.

“You're cool, though. You don't make stupid jokes like that.” The reptile snorted and Papyrus stopped walking.

“I do not appreciate you saying that about him. My brother is not crazy and I think his puns are very humerus!” The reptile child frowned, stepping closer to Papyrus.

“Figures you'd be a loser too. Can't believe I thought you were cool.” He spat and Papyrus winced, clutching his bad arm. “You're a weirdo like him.”

“I'd rather be with him than you! You are a bully.” Papyrus shouted and the reptile reached out and shoved Papyrus, causing the skeleton to fall in the snow. Papyrus let out a yelp and Sans looked up and spotted his brother on the ground. He growled and appeared before his brother in seconds. The reptile looked pleased and Sans hands balled up into fists.

**_“For once in your life don't be weak.”_ **

**_“_ Break͠ ͏hįs ̶ar̢ms͠ an͏d̸ ̶rip ̵the͝m̶ ͡o̶f͠f ̶hi̵s ͟b̛o͡dy͡! _”_**

Without speaking, Sans pushed the reptile down and glared. The same venomous look was returned and Sans was quickly cornered by the other two monsters. They were no real threat and in fact, Sans thought he could even have a little fun.

“Sans, don't,” Papyrus demanded, still on the ground.

“Yeah Sans, don't.” The mouse mocked and the skeleton snarled.

“Glad to know one of you isn't too pathetic to defend himself.” The reptile barked, rising to his feet. His hand was sparking with electric magic and Sans' pupils vanished, eyes locking onto the threat. “But I bet you're just as weak.”

**“Trial begin. Eliminate three targets in six hits.”**

**“I ́b͞et͠ ͜h̢e ̧c̛o͏uld͞ d̷o iţ i̛n o̡né,̸ ̕rig̀h͝t͡ San̕s̵y͝?̶”** Sans didn't respond. Instead, his eyes glowed as a large femur appeared in his hand, three more floating behind him. The other two monsters looked nervous, but the reptile stood his ground.

“Hey!” A loud voice boomed and Sans jumped, looking at the monster that marched over to them. Using the distraction to his advantage, the reptile lunged forward and sent a jolt of electric magic up Sans' spine. The skeleton cried out, falling to his hands and knees. Sans felt as if his body was dunked onto a pool of ice water. Every inch of his body went numb and the noise around him turned into a high pitch ringing noise as he felt the last of himself be consumed by the numbing sensation. Sans directed his attention to the smirking monster that prepared for another attack. Sans face was blank, sockets hollow and empty as he stared at the child before him. He felt a fire ignite within him, commanding him to do one thing and one thing only. Destroy.

 **“Y O U ‘R E  D E A D.”** Sans snarled and the reptile gave him a confused look. Sans summoned a bone and used the blunt end to jab the weapon into the child's stomach. The bully cried out, doubling over, but Sans kicked his leg out and knocked the kid onto his back. The skeleton attempted to stab the child with his weapon, but they rolled out of the way. A strong hand grabbed the skeleton's arm and Sans spun around, new femur attack bashing against the arm until it was released. Three large bones poked out of the ground and were launched in the direction of the hand, keeping whatever tried to stop him away. The bully was attempting to stand up, but Sans smirked and encased the boy in his magic, forcing him back down into the snow. The skeleton stood over the reptile, one foot on his hand, crushing it while the other was on his chest. Lifting his hand, a pointed blue bone appeared and Sans positioned it over the child's chest where his soul was.

“ **Don't move!”** Sans sang as he plunged the bone into the child's chest. Sans grinned as the child flinched, crying out in pain before the attack vanished. The skeleton giggled, adding pressure to the foot on the reptile's chest, causing the child to let out a wheeze. The experiment's finger began twitching by his side as he readied another blue bone. The twitching ceased as he felt two warm arms wrap around him and he froze. Sans paid no attention to the force pushing him off the child or the fact that the child was getting away alive. He was unable to shake away the comforting warmth that encased his entire body.

Papyrus.

Sans looked down and sure enough, the skeleton's bony arms were around him, face buried in his back. Sans tried to speak, but couldn't and instead waited for reality to returned. The ringing in his skull vanished and was replaced with the loud chatter of monsters, crying children, and Papyrus. His vision was no longer tunneled and he saw the large crowd that had gathered. Children were crying and asking for their moms and dads and adults glared or looked frightened of Sans.

Sans would say he's scared, but he wasn't. He'd say he felt bad, but he didn't That child deserved what he got and Sans did not feel remorseful in the slightest. In fact, he didn't feel anything at all. Sans rested his hands over Papyrus', looking over his shoulder.

“We should go,” Sans told his brother who peered up at him and nodded. Sans took his brother's hand and began to lead him out of the park, but a large plate of armor stood in his path.

“Hold on a minute, little one.” Sans looked up, staring blankly at Dogamy. “We can't let you go. We need to get a hold of your parents.”

“My brother needs to go home,” Papyrus told the guard, but he shook his head. Sans turned to look at Dogaressa who was talking to what Sans assumed were the parents of the reptile child. The mother was shouting, arms flailing around wildly as the father held onto his crying child. Sighing, Sans looked back up at the guard before he pointed to the bench he was at earlier.

“You can go sit down.” Sans walked over with Papyrus and the two sat down. The younger skeleton cuddled up next to his brother and Sans wrapped an arm around his younger sibling, staring down at the snow. He wondered if they had gotten a hold of Grillby yet. He did say he was going to go run some errands. Sans silently hoped his guardian was not home. He didn't understand why he had to be here either. A shadow loomed over the two skeletons and the elder one glanced up at Dogaressa.

“I want you two to know you aren't in any trouble. We were just informed about a fight and would like to know what happened. Would you like to tell me what happened here, Sans?”

“He pushed my brother, I pushed him, he shocked me, I acted in self-defence.” Dogaressa seemed disturbed by how dull and undisturbed Sans appeared to be. “I won't apologize.”

“Do either of you know where your guardian is at?”

“No, Bonnie should be home, though. She's our babysitter when Dad's not home.” Papyrus said and the guard nodded.

“Yes, we know. However, we'd like to speak with Grillby.”

“Why can't we go? My actions were justified. I didn't do anything wrong. He started the fight.”

“He was being mean to Sans,” Papyrus added and the dog gave the boys a pitiful look.

“I know you boys would like to go home, but Sans really hurt someone and their parents are upset and would like to talk to Grillby.”

“So they can stop by later. Tell the parents to raise a better kid.” Sans snapped, feeling bitter. “It's not our fault their kid is stupid enough to hurt my brother or idiotic enough to attack me.” The skeleton grumbled, leaning back against the bench. “Why are we being punished for his actions?”

“You aren't being punished, Sans. No one is punishing you. But you might be right, it would be best to get you someplace warm until we find your guardian.” Dogaressa muttered the last bit to herself. Her ear lifted up as barking rang out and Lesser Dog bolted into the park, panting happily. Grillby was behind him, flame low. Spotting the skeletons, he rushed over and crouched down in from of them.

“What happened?” He asked, reaching them over.

“Papyrus was being bullied and was pushed into the snow and Sans reacted and a fight broke out between the bully and him,” Dogaressa informed the flame.

“It was self-defence. He shocked me.” Sans added and Grillby frowned, looking up at the guard.

“Why did I need to come down if Sans asked in self-defence? Bonnie could have taken them home.”

“The parents wanted to speak to you.” Dogaressa motioned to the small family who was animatedly shouting.

“They want to try to blame their crummy parenting on you. They're just mad I kicked their stupid son's butt.” Sans muttered and Grillby sighed, standing up.

“Are you their parent?” A shrill voice asked and Grillby turned around, staring down at a fuming reptile woman.

“Yes.”

“What kind of child are you raising? That little demon almost dusted my son!”

“Maybe you should train your kid to be less pathetic,” Sans told her and the mother glared.

“Sans, be quiet please,” Grillby told his son.

“No wonder he is such a problem. All you do is tell him to be quiet? That child deserves a spanking!”

“Don't tell me how to raise my kid, lady.” Grillby snapped, disgusted by her remark. “Your kid attacked mine, he acted in self-defence. Maybe you should raise your child to use his words instead of bullying others.”

“My little Ryan would never bully anyone! Your sons made that up!”

“No, I didn't! Dad, I didn't lie!” Papyrus cried and Sans shot a foul look in the monster's direction.

“Rachel there were several reports from different children all saying that your son was bullying Papyrus and even a few other children.” The guard stated.

“Like I'd trust their word over my own sons. For all I know your child could have terrorized them all and turned them against Ryan. As far as I see it your children are the real bullies here!” Rachel glared.

“Ugh, Grillby can we go? I'm tired of listening to this old hag.” Sans groaned and the lady gasped, hand over her chest.

“You are the most disrespectful little brat I have ever met!” She snapped and turned her attention to Grillby, clawed finger jabbing his chest. “And you are a terrible father. To think you'd allow an animal like that out of your house!” Grillby bit back a remark, flame dark red. Sans let out a small laugh, closing his left eye to hide the glowing magic as he blinked in front of the lady.

“I don't like how you are talking to my Dad, old lady. Apologize.” Sans demanded, voice dark. She jumped back, startled by his sudden appearance. Sans looked up at the monster, empty socket's staring up at her as a grin was fixed on his face. “Or I'll show you how animalistic I can be,” Sans whispered and the woman leaned away, looking frightened. Sans felt heated hands under his arms and he was lifted into the air by Grillby who held onto him before picking up Papyrus.

“We're done here, right?” Grillby asked the guard who hesitantly nodded. “Great,” Grillby said before he left the park. The flame grumbled to himself the entire walk home. Even when they arrive home, he was still furious as he opened the door, setting Papyrus' down. “Papyrus stay down here with Bonnie please,” Grillby told the younger skeleton who nodded and gave Sans a reassuring smile the skeleton did not feel like returning. He just allowed himself to be carried up to Grillby's bedroom and plopped down onto his bed. Grillby remained standing, quiet except for the long deep breath he took and held for a few moments before he slowly exhaled. He could be angry later, but for now Sans was acting off and he needed to find out why.

“You aren't acting like yourself.” Grillby started and Sans just shrugged. “What's wrong? What happened?”

“I just don't feel like anything.”

“You feeling numb?”

“No, like I just don't care.” Sans laid down on his side, running his hand over the fabric of the sheets. “There are three voices now,” Sans said and Grillby closed his eyes, face pained. “They're all different, which is weird. It's like there's a party going on in my head.”

“That doesn't sound like a fun party,” Grillby admitted, trying to lighten the mood.

“It's not. I never said it was. It's more like a party to celebrate how much they hate me.” Sans grumbled, and Grillby sat on the floor, resting against the bed. “I wonder how many can come up, you know? Seems like every day a new one appears. One of them is bound to be nice sooner or later.”

“Kiddo...”

“This one started off nice but turned out not to be. He's nicer than the second voice but about as equal as the first. Should I name them? Probably not, huh? I only named the first one Gaster because it sounds like him. The other two don't have names. I tried to ask, but the third voice just said its name was Sans and started mocking me. When it appeared I didn't panic. Well, I did at first, but then I kinda stopped. I'm not sure if that's good or not. I want to say it is since I'm not longer freaking out, but it's not really good that I'm getting used to it, huh?” Sans finished ranting, hand no longer moving against the bed sheets. “Hey, Grillby?”

“Yeah, Sans?” The flame replied, staring at the unfamiliar skeleton before him.

“I feel like I'm going insane,” Sans whispered and Grillby saw the skeleton he knew break, though. He began to tremble, tears forming in his eyes. “I'm scared.”

“Come here,” Grillby spoke in a soft tone. He sat on the bed and pulled Sans into a tight embrace. Sans silently cried, tears streaming down his face and body shaking, but no sobs or sniffling could be heard. “We're going to get you help, Sans,” Grillby told his child, tightening his hold on him. “Until then, I think it's best to stay with me, okay? You, me, and Pap, we can all do something together. Does that sound fun?” Sans nodded, sniffing and letting out a shaky breath. “You and Pap always talk about the Waterfalls, you want to go there and see the crystals?”

“Y-Yeah, Pap likes the crystals,” Sans mumbled, pulling away so he could rub at his face with his jacket sleeve. “But it's wet there.”

“Don't worry about that. I'll dress for the occasion. Maybe I'll even steal your rain boots.” Sans let out a sad laugh, wiping away the last of his tears.

“Your feet are too big. You'll break them.”

“I think I can fit. Look at these monster toes.” Grillby began tickling Sans' feet and the child lets out a shriek of joy, pulling his toes away from the bartender. The fire element smiled, resting a hand on Sans' skull. “You feeling okay?” He asked and Sans offered him a small smile.

“I don't feel as numb, but I don't feel very stable either. It feels like I'm going to have a panic attack, but less panic and more just instability.” Grillby nodded, rubbing the kid's head.

“I think we better take it easy for now. I don't want you to be triggered somehow if you feel this shaky. We can stay inside for today, okay? We can even let Bonnie stay over if you want. She isn't leaving until she cleans my couch.” Grillby mumbled the last comment to himself and Sans let out an amused huff and nodded. The guardian took the skeleton's hand and lead him out of the room. Sans offered a shy smile to Papyrus and Bonnie who were on the couch.

“Are you okay?” Papyrus asked, rushing over to his brother.

“I'm fine, bro,” Sans told his brother. The elder brother knew his younger sibling could see his shaky soul, but he believed it must at least look more stable than this morning. Papyrus' eyes never left Sans' though, and the skeleton was thankful for that.

“Heard you kicked some butt today, kiddo. I say the kid had it coming. He's been bullying the day he found out he had magic. His parents are rotten too.” Bonnie announced and Grillby nodded but didn't want to get too heated over it.

“Have you finished cleaning my couch yet?” Grillby crossed his arm, giving the bunny a stern look.

“Your couch will get cleaned, you old flame. Jeez, let me congratulate your kid for being a little hero.”

“Congratulate him after you pull all the fur particles off of my cushions.”

“We should celebrate! Let's bake a cake!” Papyrus beamed.

“Now that's an idea, Pap! A nice big chocolate cake! Doesn't that sound delicious, Sansy?” Sans flinched as the name was called, hand gripping the front of his shirt, socket's large as he looked at Bonnie. He stepped back, bumping into Grillby's leg and jumped, scurrying away from him. The other three monsters were still, each one's face held a different kind of sorrowful expression.

“Sans?” Papyrus voiced gaining his brother's attention. The older skeleton's cloudy and distorted vision became clear and steady as he focused on his brother.

“Sans, what's wrong?” Grillby asked, kneeling down next to the skeleton, the tiny white dots now locked onto the element. He was safe. He was fine. It was just Bonnie. No one is here. No voices were speaking to him. He's fine.

“D-Don't...call...me that,” Sans spoke in a loud but shaky voice and Bonnie nodded.

“I'm sorry, Sans. I didn't mean to upset you.” Sans just bobbed his head, letting go of his shirt to instead choose to hold onto his arm.

“Can I go upstairs? I want to be alone.” Sans muttered eyes cast downward.

“I don't think that's a very good idea right now.” The skeleton closed his eyes, expression pained. Instead of arguing he just sat down on the steps and curled up in a tight ball, hood pulled over his head. Sans felt too sensitive and wanted to be locked away in his room instead of being stared at by the people he loved. It was bad enough that he heard the voices make fun of him and taunt him, he didn't want his family doing the same. He must look pathetic. Sans could practically see their expression right now. Grillby would be looking down at him with disgust and hate, Papyrus turned away, ashamed by his psychotic brother, and Bonnie sneering at him already telling the entire town how messed up Sans was. That lady was right. How did Grillby let Sans out of the house? He was a menace, an embarrassment, a freak.

“Sans?” The skeleton did not respond as the guardian called him. “Kiddo, I think it's best if we go see Ellen today. She could help you.” Sans bony digits dug into his pants. He knew it. They did think he was crazy. They wanted him sent to some mental hospital, locked away so no one would have to be seen with him ever again.

**_“I don't know what's more pathetic, you thinking they loved you or you just now realizing how much of a burden you are.”_ **

**“Dòn'̛t҉ ͟w͝ơrry,͟ Sans̴y̶. ͝Y͞o̕u̢ ͘won't b̴e ͜a͠lon̸e̸.͝ Y̵ou'll̢ ̵ha̵v̡e̶ ͝u͡s!”**

**_“You feel that, Sans? You feel their eyes on you? Judging. Disgusted. They finally had enough of you. Are you just going to sit there and let them take you away?”_ **

**“Ǫf c҉ơu͞rs҉e҉ he i̕s͞. ̀San̸sý i̕s ́we͝ak.”**

**_“Fight back. Do something you idiot._ **

**“Let̷'s ̡ge̷t͘ Gas͟t͟er i̢n here, S̢ans̡! ͏He ͠al͝w͠ays mot͠i͝v͏atés͞ ̵litt̛le̸ Śa͞nśy.”**

“You think I'm crazy!” Sans found himself shouting, reacting to please the voices in his head. Sans could live with these two, but he hated the Gaster's voice. As long as Sans acted, he wouldn't get involved.

“No one thinks you're crazy, Sans,” Grillby told his child and Papyrus whimpered, watching his brother's soul fade and flicker like a dying light bulb.

“Grillby,” Papyrus whispered, sockets on his brother, but his hand trailed up, clutching the fabric over his soul. “His soul.” Grillby looked over at the skeleton who had begun twitching oddly, still curled up.

“Pap, what's wrong with it?”

“It's really bad.” Papyrus felt tears prickle, terrified his brother's weak soul would be damaged and he'd be gone.

“Shut up!” Sans shouted, hands gripping onto his skull. “I reacted don't get him involved!” Papyrus whined, his own soul pulsating in response to his brother's stress.

“Grillby.” Bonnie gasped, pointing to the skeleton whose chest glowed slightly.

“Sans.” The bartender called resting a hand on the child's shoulder. “Sans, can you hear me?”

“I can't help it! I didn't mean to!” Sans shouted, phalanges scrapping against his skull. “Go away! It's not my fault!”

“Sans!” Grillby repeated the child's name, shaking him slightly. “Sans I need you to respond. You are hallucinating. What you are hearing isn't real.”

“Shut up!” Sans shrieked, now pounding his hands against his skull. Grillby grabbed the child's hands preventing him from injuring himself. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Sans yelped, yanking and tugging at his restrained hands. “Take it! I don't care! Just go away!” Sans' soul was summoned on its own and the room stilled. All their eyes were locked onto the transparent, almost non-existent soul that hovered in front of the hysterical skeleton.

Papyrus felt his soul burn, his legs moving forward to his brother, hands extended outward until they hovered under the tiny soul. Papyrus moved slowly and carefully as if Sans' soul was made out of a thin piece of tissue paper. The soul rested in his open palms and Papyrus curled his fingers around it, pulling it to his chest where his own soul was open and exposed. The younger skeleton gently cuddled his brother's soul over his own, a warm orange glow radiating off of his soul and surrounded Sans'.

The older skeleton went still as he felt someone grab his soul. He gasped as his entire body was encased in a pleasant heat. Sans yanked his hands away from the grip holding him, his sockets opened wide, searching for the source of the heat. His vision was distorted and spinning, but he was able to focus on the orange aura in front of him. Sans' hand reached out to touch the light, however, a hand rested on his, bony fingers curling around his own, holding his hand. Sans watched as his hand too began to illuminate and his body relaxed, sockets drooping. The skeleton opened his mouth to speak but was suddenly hit by a massive wave of exhaustion. His pupils faded and sockets closed, hand slipping out of the grip as he fell back, collapsing against the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening distinguish guest, this is your captain speaking. I'd like to inform everyone that the fasten seat belt sign is now illuminated. If you haven't already done so, please buckle up and remain seated for the duration of your ride. All doors are now locked and will not be opened until we have arrived at our destination Recovery. This ride is nonstop and will be passing through many wonderful locations such as the Seas of Tears and Insanity Village! I'd like to ask everyone to please remain seated with your hands and feet inside the vehicle until we have arrived at our destination. Tissues and blankets will be distributed to those who will need it. If you are sitting in an emergency exit row, please have an extra tissue box at hand. If you feel as if you are unable to control yourself, please move seats at this time. If you have any questions about our ride today, please don’t hesitate to ask. Once again, this is your captain speaking to you on our nonstop ride to Recovery. I'd like to personally thank all those who have joined us today on our journey today and I will do my best to provide you with an enjoyable and entertaining time. 
> 
> Thank you, and have a lovely ride.


	26. Papyrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Did I catch your attention? Good. I have fixed some chapters as you may or may not have already noticed. This chapter was suppose to be 30 but is now 26. Basically, I was flabbergasted that it was already chapter 30 because I honestly didn't expect this fanfic to be that long without getting to a certain part. However, I was rusty when I started it and cut chapters off that didn't need to be and wrote too small of chapters. Now chapters are very rarely under 7,000 words and in the past chapters were around 3,000 to 4,000. My rusty writing was bugging me and I felt as if I could fix it and make it look better and not dragged out like I felt it was. So, I went back and combined a few. Those chapters are labelled with both chapter titles so don't worry. I honestly felt like I could combine a bunch of them, but I was lazy. Perhaps once this is all over I will go back and fix it, but not today. 
> 
> Cheers to Hannah for editing as always!

“How long has he been out?” Ellen questioned, hand resting over Sans' forehead.

“He passed out at two in the afternoon yesterday and hasn't moved since,” Grillby informed the doctor, hand gripping his sleeve tightly.

After Sans passed out everyone was in a frenzy. Papyrus started crying, Bonnie was trying desperately to calm him down, and Grillby was trying not to have a panic attack. They had placed Sans in the children's bedroom, unsure of what to do. They all waited, hovering by the room, hoping Sans would wake up like he normally did after his episodes but Sans remained asleep. Papyrus kept telling them he'd be okay and that Sans would wake up, but the adults were a little less hopeful. By the time Grillby decided to call a doctor it was too late in the day. So the three monsters stayed up all night, monitoring Sans' soul and making sure he didn't wake up without someone there for him.

Papyrus was inconsolable. At around three in the morning, Bonnie began to fear the worst. She hesitantly told Grillby her fears, but Grillby wouldn't have it. Papyrus began shouting at Bonnie for even suggesting the idea, but as the hours passed his sobs grew louder. He refused to let his brother go, his entire form radiating the strongest amount of his magic that he could muster as he begged Sans to wake up. The skeleton's desperate pleas had caused Bonnie to cry silently and Grillby to go numb. The only sound that filled the house for hours was the younger brother's wails until Papyrus eventually cried himself to sleep with a tear stained face, clinging to his brother. Grillby called Ellen the second the clock read eight and she arrived an hour later.

They had since moved Sans to Grillby's room and explained what had happened to the doctor. Bonnie held Papyrus standing in the doorway while Grillby stood as close to Sans as he could get without disturbing the doctor as she worked. She took advantage of Sans' unconscious state and checked over his torso and spine, popping a few bones and vertebras into place. She also examined Sans' soul and her calm composure faulted for only a second, but it was enough for Grillby to silently panic along with Papyrus who didn't want anyone touching his brother's soul. Ellen went silent, only reading the child's soul. After a long moment, she looked away and began shuffling around in her bag.

“Has his soul always been in this condition?” The healed questioned.

“I don't know. I've never really seen it before yesterday.” Grillby admitted and Ellen frowned.

“Papyrus, you've seen your brother's soul before, yes?” The skeleton nodded. “Has it always been this low?”

“Yes. Ever since I could remember.” Ellen pulled out a medium sized screen, rectangular device and turned it on. She placed the screen over the sleeping child's rib cage where his life source was and motioned for Grillby to step forward. The flame was by her side in seconds and the doctor pointed to the screen that now showed Sans' soul through his body.

“Although I'm not sure this is directly related to what caused him lose consciousness, this soul is in horrendous condition. The worst part is I'm not sure it can be fixed. Do you see the readings?” Grillby leaned closer looking over the numbers and his flame lowered, shades of pink and purple passing through him.

One? Sans had one health point? How was that even possible?

“Do you see this aura around the soul?” Ellen used her finger to hover and trace over the faint light that occasional pulsed out of the soul. “This is residual soul that should be there but isn't. That energy only hovers around souls who are damaged and missing health. However, Sans' health is fine as you can see. Which means logically this aura should be gone, but it's not. Papyrus said Sans' soul has always been like this, but that doesn't make sense. Sans health must have been higher at one point. What is even more troubling being why it's no longer that number. Souls do not loose overall strength like this. There has never been a reported case of a soul depleting in overall health before.”

“But if the energy is still there can you fix it?” Grillby wondered and Ellen took in a deep breath.

“I don't know. As it stands, I would not know a single doctor who is willing to test something like this out considering how there is no room for error. There are ways to have your health be advanced slightly, but never in the overall total and those effects on the losable health aren't permanent. Sans can maybe advance his health to have it be five out of one or even ten, but I don't know if it's even possible to raise that one point. I-...” Ellen looked back at the screen before turning off and sticking it back into her bag. “I can say this much, Sans isn't falling down, so you can all relax. His body just shut down momentarily due to a magic overload and his soul was unable to handle the stress his soul was under and so he passed out. Once his body stabilizes, he should wake up.” All three exhausted monsters felt a weight being lifted off their shoulders.

“But what about the hallucinations?” Papyrus asked.

“I'm not trained in the mental field, but if it's as bad as you guys are claiming it to be, I would suggest taking him to see a someone or at least get evaluated. I'll send over my reports to whatever doctor you choose, but it will be a trial and error type of situation. You'll have to find someone Sans likes and understands which is tricky. If Sans is also as skittish as he was before, I'd maybe recommend starting small. A child psychologist would be best since they are generally more friendly and likable, but some children do not prefer the general vibe they give off and enjoy regular therapists. Again, it will just be up to seeing who Sans likes and doesn't like.”

“Do you think I should prepare him or anything? You saw him before when he feels uncomfortable, but he is extremely sensitive when you bring up his past.” Grillby voiced.

“That would be up to you. I wouldn't know exactly where to begin or even what to suggest if you want to try something here first. I would recommend you see someone professionally trained in this field and see what they have to say. Mental health like this is a very touchy thing, especially with children. At the end of the day, it is all about making sure Sans is comfortable and feels safe. He is the one dealing with this and if he doesn't feel like he is able to speak up about these things, then he won't.” The healer said as she began packing up her things. “There's little I can do for him now. He is physically fine and healing excellently. His magic will have to balance out on its own, though. I do not want to give him anything with his soul in that condition. When he wakes upkeep him away from magic for a week. He may have occasional bursts of energy, but it's only his body trying to balance itself out. If there are no more questions, I think I'm done here.”

“Thank you.” Grillby sincerely stated and Ellen smiled, patting his shoulder.

“He'll be fine. He should be up today if not tomorrow. After a week he'll be stable. Until then, just relax. Keep an eye on his soul and notify me if anything happens.” He nodded and Bonnie walked the skeleton to the door. Grillby sat down on the bed, watching the skeleton breathe gently as he thought over what Ellen had told him. He could not predict what Sans would do or how'd he react when he woke up. The best thing he could do for the kid was have Papyrus by his side in case he woke up panicked. As for his mental state, Grillby was at a loss. He didn't want to have Sans leave the home until he was fully recovered, but with his attacks being as violent as they were becoming, he feared to keep him here with no way to help. Perhaps it would be best to ask someone what he could do, and he had an idea of who to ask.

“Bon?” Grillby called, facing away from the skeleton. Bonnie looked up as she set Papyrus on the bed. “I'm going to go see Flurry. Can you stay here with them and let me know if anything happens?”

“Yeah, of course, Grillby,” Bonnie told him and the flame stood up.

“I'll be back in a few hours. Watch over him, okay Pap?” The skeleton nodded, already curled up by his brother's side. Without another word, Grillby grabbed his jacket he hardly used and left the house.

Flurry was Grillby's therapist. The two hardly see each other anymore, besides the annual visit and check-up Flurry wanted to ensure everything was fine. Grillby wasn't due for another visit until the fall, but he knew Flurry's schedule better than his own and currently they'd be available for a quick chat. They lived in the outer banks of the town closer to the vast forests where it was more isolated. When Grillby first met Flurry, he really didn't think they'd get along. Flurry was an interesting hybrid monster made entirely of snow but took the shape of a snake with legs. They were far more stable than Grillby had first expected, even though they were made of snow their body acted more like a regular monster instead of the frozen water. Grillby had lost his cool multiple times during their visits and he feared he'd end up melting the therapist, but they proved to be far more solid than he'd ever be. They had even shaken hands and to his surprise, he felt no burn and they did not melt.

Flurry worked differently from another therapist the fire element had known. They worked out of their home and held all their appointments in their den, serving snacks and tea. It felt more like a close friend’s house than a doctor’s office and the normality of it had Grillby at ease and more open. Grillby would consider taking Sans to see them, but he didn't feel like Flurry would be the best match for him. They were quiet and soft spoken, but when they asked a question it was often a difficult one. They were very straight forward with their questions and many found it off-putting. Grillby, however, liked the balance of comfortable environment and harsh therapy. Flurry wasn't cruel, though, and if someone was overwhelmed or panicked they'd back off and comfort them before beginning the session once more. Grillby didn't think Sans would be into that type of working style, recalling how difficult it was for himself during the first few sessions.

Grillby knocked on their door, sliding on his coat. This place had always been cold to him, which was abnormal considering it was extremely difficult for him to feel anything that was below room temperature. The bartender was hoping Flurry would be able to give him some advice on what to do. Even though they were a bit harsh during their sessions, they were a professional and knew how to deal with these types of situations far better than Grillby. The door swung open and Flurry stood in casual attire, a puzzled look on their face.

“A few months early aren't we?” They questioned.

“I need some help.” Flurry stepped aside and allowed Grillby to enter their small, cabin-like home. They motioned to the couch and Grillby went to sit.

“Is this personal? Another relapse, perhaps?” Flurry spoke louder as they made their way around the kitchen, preparing some tea.

“No, it's not about me. It's about my son.” The tea tin nearly slipped out of the therapist's hand, eye widening slightly.

“I wasn't aware you had one. Congratulation on the new child. Babies can often cause different reactions in people.”

“No, he's adopted. I adopted him and his brother back in December.” Flurry hummed, filling the kettle with water.

“That makes this easier then.” They muttered, shuffling their way over to Grillby, holding out the kettle. “Do you mind? The stove's broken.” Grillby took hold of the kettle and rested one hand on the bottom, heating up the water with his magic. “You haven't been sleeping. What's not good for your health.” They pointed out, making their way back to the kitchen to retrieve two cups.

“It's been a rough night.” The therapist just hummed once more.

“What are their names?” Flurry asked, setting some crackers and biscuits on a tray.

“Sans and Papyrus. Sans is the one I'm here about.”

“How old are they?”

“He's eleven and Papyrus is eight.”

“Hm.” Flurry's mouth was in a firm line as they brought over a stay of snacks and tea equipment. “Troublesome. Why have you come? What appears to be the problem?”

“He's hallucinating badly,” Grillby admitted pausing as the kettle began to screech and he handed it over. “He's been abused in the past and has had a rough time adjusting to a regular life but he was getting better. There was a small hiccup and he had a giant panic attack a few days ago and hasn't been the same since. Yesterday he had another one and ended up passing out.” Flurry shook their head, adding a homemade tea bag to the cups before pouring in the water.

“You're being too vague. What is wrong with him? Does he just hallucinate?”

“No, he has flashbacks, moody swings, violent, he said he's hearing three different voices, and he's depressed. He's just unstable to the point there he isn't even himself anymore.” Flurry set down the kettle and picked up their cup, mulling over the information.

“And you said he is eleven?” Grillby nodded and Flurry frowned down at the teacup. “Signs of mental instability to this extent do not appear in children until they are at least thirteen and even then the cases of psychological troubles of that degree are rare. You said he has been abused, but it must have been far worse than just abuse. For this amount of physiologic damage to be appearing at his age means he has been through something extreme.” Flurry spoke, bobbing their tea bag a few times before they removed it.

“Even extreme feels like an understatement,” Grillby admitted, resting his head in his hands. “I don't know the full details, but just from what he has told me it's-...horrific.”

“How long has he been having these reactions?”

“He's had them ever since I've met him. They weren't ever this bad before. He'd just have the occasional flashback and moody behaviour, but it really hasn't been until recently that he had gotten this bad.” Flurry took a long sip and removed Grillby's tea bag from his cup for him.

“So he's gotten worse. Do you know of any reason why? Has something triggered him?”

“No, I mean, not out of the usual stuff. His brother got hurt and Sans just lost it. He's always been overprotective, but never like this. Even in the past, he'd be over these hiccups in a few hours but now he just isn't recovering.”

“On a traumatic scale of zero being losing a loved one and ten beings war, where does his past place him?”

“Where does medical experimentation fall?” Flurry stared at Grillby, expression blank. Grillby held their gaze, body stiff. Slowly the therapist set their tea cup down and folded their hands together on their lap.

“If you are telling me your children were part of some medical experiment, I don't think I'm the one you should be going to. I'd recommend you tell a guard or even the king.” Their voice was low, allowing the flame a chance to explain himself.

“Let's say I'm telling the truth. How can I help someone like that?”

“I implore you to inform the royal guard so whoever is responsible can be locked away.”

“Let's also say that the person responsible is dealt with. How would I be able to help someone who was in that position?” Flurry watched Grillby, expression unreadable.

“You get them help, from a professional.”

“I'm working on that. Is there anything I can do from at home?”

“Grillby.” The therapist sighed, running their hands over their face. “I don't even know the situation. Was he born there? Held hostage?”

“Let's say born.”

“When did he get out?”

“I don't know. Let's just assume the worst for everything.”

“God.” Flurry muttered, staring down at their tea. “I don't even know how he would even be able to leave. If he was there his entire life being abused in some manner he'd be too terrified to leave. He'd most likely develop some battered woman syndrome. It's a disorder for those who have been in an abusive relationship for a long time. It basically leads to learned helplessness and psychological paralysis along with many other things. I don't know if he is the one who got himself out or what but either way how and even why he left is puzzling to me. How did he act when you first met him?”

“Scared and aggressive,” Grillby told the monster, recalling Sans first arrival.

“And now?”

“Before his episode, he was actually normal.” Flurry shook their head, fingers tapping against their leg.

“That shouldn't be. To be locked away for eleven or however long it was in that toxic of an environment would not be an easy fix. He shouldn't be able to act normal at all, and scared and aggressive don't sound right either. He'd have a fixed behaviour and that would take years to break. I don't know what child you've been watching over, but I assure you it is not who Sans' really is. He has repressed feeling that are finally coming out. I say right now, his episodes are just the beginning. If you don't get him help he can have full on relapse and release those repressed memories too quickly causing him to regress back to who he was before.” Grillby's flame paled slightly.

“I'm trying, but he can't right now, which is why I'm here. Is there nothing I can do to help him?”

“Grillby, with a mind as unstable as his anything is a possibility. It's just a matter of trial and error until you find out how to help him.”

“This brother helps him better than anything but I want to know how I can help him.”

“His brother, Papyrus? Does he have the same symptoms?”

“No, he's perfectly normal. He doesn't remember anything from before.”

“That's even worse than Sans. He must have completely blocked out the entire experience.” Grillby opened his mouth to correct them but he wasn't sure exactly how. Saying that Sans told him no one remembers but him would sound rather ludicrous. In fact, admitting any of this without evidence would be hard to accept. Any doctor would assume Sans was either making it up or had created some story instead of telling the truth. This just made the search even harder. He'd have to find someone Sans' liked and one that would believe him too.

“Papyrus is fine. I don't know how but he just is. Sans is who I'm worried about. He's the one who needs help now.” Grillby stated and the therapist lets out a long sigh.

“The best thing I could tell you is to keep an eye on him and if he looks like he's having an attack keep him grounded. Keep him distracted and happy. If his brother makes him stable, then keep them together. There's very little you can do in this type of situation besides just offer your help. Whether or not he takes it is all up to him.”

And up to Sans, it was. The skeleton knew something was wrong, but he wasn't entirely sure what. Papyrus wasn't visible and he felt uneasy. He felt shaky and unsteady, but he didn't know if it was because of Papyrus or not. He'd kept telling himself he was dreaming, but he didn't seem to care. Papyrus would wake him up. He thought about trying to wake himself up, but he didn't do anything. Papyrus would keep him safe. Instead, he allowed himself to dream, or whatever it was, away until he began to wonder why he even thought he was dreaming to begin with. Papyrus would be there for him.

He'd always felt this way, right? Why would he feel differently? That instability was always prevalent because Sans was never able to predict the doctor's mood. Stability, certainty, knowing you won't die tomorrow, these were all things Sans had never felt. And why would he feel them? He'd always be here with Gaster. Freedom didn't exist. His one job was to look after Papyrus. Papyrus was his-...Papyrus? Who was that? Why did he care so much about it-them? As far as Sans was concerned, the word didn't even exist and had no meaning. There were only the labs, Gaster, and pain. No freedom. No stability. No Papyrus.

 

~*~

 

 _The skeleton was in the_ _labs alone playing with a colourful cube the doctor had given him. The doctor had been testing Sans' mental capacity for a few weeks now, setting up different puzzles and traps for Sans to solve. Today Sans had passed the test and was rewarded with the cube. Sans was bored most days after the doctor left. Although sometimes the trials were hard or the experiments were painful, Sans still waited eagerly for the door to open, allowing him contact with another life form. The skeleton knew if he worked hard enough, he'd not only get praise but also a reward that would keep him entertained for the remainder of the day and it would make the doctor happy._

_The next time the door opened Sans rushed over, cube in hand. He held out the object with a smile and the Doctor stuck it in his pocket and lead him to a different room than the experiment was used to. This room was wide and bare. The left wall was a window ,peering into a white room similar to the one Sans used for training. In that room was a small form curled up in the corner. The doctor took a few steps back and pulled out a small voice recorder. The second Sans spotted the form he rushed over, pressing up against the glass._

**_“1S has spotted 2P.”_ ** _The Doctor said, watching his experiment closely. **“1 has begun tapping against the glass in an attempt to grab the attention of 2P. 2 has yet to respond. Subject might still be asleep from the soul fusion test.”**_

 **_“_ ** **_In,”_ ** _Sans stated, looking over at the doctor, finger tapping against the class. **“What is that? Target? Puzzle?”**_

 **_“Sans, come.”_ ** _The doctor pointed to the spot in front of him and Sans dashed over to him, standing three steps away. **“Do not harm it.”** He warned and Sans nodded._

**_“I will not attack!”_ **

**_“Bonding phase four.”_ ** _The doctor spoke into the recorder “ **Phase one and two inconclusive, subject too far apart. Phase three was a success, both noticed each other a room away. Please refer to notes on bonding. Phase four, the two will be introduced for the first time. Expectations low. 2 has been unresponsive to anyone, including myself. This phase will hopefully prove whether or not the two are compatible. Previous studies, found in the file, have shown positive for the bond. Theory to be tested. Worse case, 1 will eliminate 2 or 2 will die from overstimulation. Soul is still fragile from beta phase. Phase will now begin.”** The scientist swiped a card and the door opened. Sans' bones rattled in excitement awaiting his order. The doctor held open the door and motioned for Sans to enter. The skeleton ran inside and stopped. The doctor closed the door and watched from the large window._

_Sans clun_ _g to his thin gown, pupils wide as he inched closer to the form. The form did not move until Sans was halfway across the room. The body wiggled and Sans gasped, taking a step back. The figure lifted their head, the stiff blanket around them slipping off their shoulder as they looked around. Sans studied the child in fascination watching as they looked around and slowly sat up before they spotted him. The two locked eyes and the experiments recoiled. The toddler began to tremble, sockets filling with tears and Sans felt his chest ache. Sans was unaware of the fact that his soul had begun to glow, but the Doctor leaned close. The skeleton only gawked at the form that radiated before him, eyes wide. The child stopped trembling as he watched the taller skeleton's soul glow. They blinked away the small moisture that had begun to form, head tilted. Sans relaxed as well, the corner of his mouth twitching upward as the skeleton toddler watched him._

**_“Hello.”_ ** _Sans greeted, waving his hand gently. The child smiled and giggled and Sans felt a burst of intoxicating warmth spread throughout his bones. **“Hello!”** Sans repeated more animatedly. The toddler squealed with delight and Sans grinned. He stepped closer until he was a foot away and crouched down. The toddler extended their hands outward and Sans hesitantly raised one hand and held it out. The child grabbed it and laughed, causing Sans' sockets to sparkle. Their small fingers curled around the child's tiny hand and he could not tear his sockets away from the creature._

_Never before had Sans seen something so beautiful. The child's soul shined brighter than any light Sans had ever stared at. Sans had never felt this kind of warmth and joy. In a matter of seconds, Sans' entire world had been changed. The area around him became muted and cloudy as his attention focused solely on the toddler before him. Everything Sans did caused the child to laugh or smile, overwhelming the experiment. It filled him with so much happiness like Sans had been praised._

_Sans wasn't even aware the doctor was calling him until a shadow loomed over him and the toddler let out a cry, flinching away. Sans quickly stood up and turned around facing the doctor. He didn't appear to be upset, just mildly annoyed which made Sans relaxed slightly._

**_“Come.”_ ** _He beckoned and Sans began to follow, but he heard a small cry from behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and watched as the child tried to stand, struggling to do so. Their arms were held out in Sans' directions, small whines escaping them as they stood up. The child's legs were too weak and skeleton child fell over and Sans stood still, expression sad. His soul ached, begging him to help and comfort the sobbing figure. The toddler looked up at Sans, sockets filling with tears and Sans was about to turn around when he heard the doctor's voice._

 _“_ **_01S.”_ ** _Sans held his breath, eyes squeezing shut as he turned his back to the toddler, who let out a sob, and exited the room. The doctor led his experiment into the surgery room to see if any changes had appeared. Sans was unhappy the entire time, occasionally sniffling as he held back tears. It was at that moment that Gaster had thought of an idea and it wasn't until the following day that the idea because a successful experiment._

 _Sans sat in front of a device of_ _Gaster's own creation. It was a simple puzzle, or so the doctor thought. It was covered with different kinds of locks all requiring a certain level of magical energy to unlock it. Although his experiment had gotten used to summoning weapons of different strength, he was still rusty when just channelling it raw. Out of the ten locks, Sans had only opened three before he was stuck. After twenty minutes of failed attempts Sans but the box down, looking defeated._

 **_“If you finish it in thirty minutes I'll give you a reward.”_ ** _Gaster bribed, but Sans looked over the box before shaking his head. **“If you do it in twenty, you can see 2P.”** Sans straightened up, eyes bright and hopeful. The doctor set down a timer and readied twenty minutes. **“Go.”**_

_Sans finished in ten minutes._

_From then on, 2P, or Papyrus, was Sans' new reward. Gaster did not believe his second experiment would be very useful to him in comparison to his first, but he'd milk all the information he could out of him before he became useless and disposable._

_Sans had become an even greater_ _prodigy than before. He accomplished all required tasks in record time and no longer bothered the doctor for special rewards or things to do to keep him bored. Instead, the second his testing, training, or trials were over the first word out of his mouth would be Papyrus. The doctor would gather his work and allow Sans to see Papyrus until he was finished. Even though Gaster believed Papyrus was completely useless compared to Sans, he was curious to see what would happen if they two continued to see each other. Papyrus' once fragile soul had gotten stronger every time the two met. In the time span of a week, Papyrus was no longer pathetically weak and was allowed out of isolation._

_Gaster had pondered over the idea of moving the two experiments into the same room, but he hadn't allowed them to be alone with each other before. The two spent an hour or two together every day with Gaster's supervision, hardly enough to judge how they'd react overnight and alone. So the scientist decided to take a day off and focus on a maintenance problem his core was having, allowing the two skeletons to be alone together under his watchful eye. Gaster wasn't sure entirely what to expect. He originally thought Sans would grow bored or maybe even be too aggressive with the child, but he seemed to be acting the exact opposite. He adored Papyrus and Papyrus in return loved Sans back. Gaster thought over the negatives of their bond often, however, nothing would be clarified until Papyrus became more intelligent and active. The child still struggled to speak and was too new to everything around him. Gaster had barely done anything to the subject except examine and run a few tests. He, so far, seemed more attention seeking and chatty compared to subject one. Gaster hoped time would cure that, but he was doubtful._

_Creating experiment two was Asgore's idea. Gaster had shown the king what Sans could do and what he would be capable off, but the boss monster was too soft. He made the mistake of looking at Gaster's subjects like they were monsters, but they weren't. Sans wasn't a monster he was a weapon, a creation made by Gaster_ _with one purpose and that was to kill. But the idiotic king was hopeless and demanded Gaster create another 'child' for Sans to keep him company. Gaster had almost laughed until he realized how serious Asgore was. But with the risk of his projects being disposed of, Gaster complied and went to work creating another subject. The king had requested a less violent one since Sans' obedient behaviour had bothered him. Gaster tried to tell him that was how Sans was supposed to act, but the fool wouldn't listen. Gaster had loathed making Papyrus but at least he was getting information out of this mistake._

_The Doctor had allowed Sans and Papyrus three full days together in the time span of a month. The Core was breaking down in odd places, taking precious time away from his scientist experiments. At the end of the day, Gaster was stressed and agitated. The same steam pipe had broken three times now and he was close to losing his cool. He opened up the door and called Sans, the skeleton came rushing over in seconds detecting the doctor's mood._

**_“No!”_ ** _A voice echoed and Gaster paused. Sans covered his mouth, eyes on Papyrus who stood in the room with a frown. Sans shook his head, begging his friend to be quiet but he didn't. **“No!”** Papyrus repeated and Gaster spun around._

 **_“No?”_ ** _Gaster echoed, hands clasping together as he gave the subject a hard stare, allowing him a chance to back down._

 **_“No! Sans stay! You go!”_ ** _Papyrus shouted acting like his opinion mattered. Gaster had no idea where his subject had gotten such a rebellious and self-aware mindset, but he'd crush it._

_Gaster stepped forward, the only sound echoing in the room was his shoes clicking against the floor. Sans remained where he was, eyes wide in fear as he watched Gaster, knees wobbling. Gaster towered over his creation, expression cold. All confidence within the small skeleton vanished instantly and he bowed his head, body lowering in a submissive stance. Gaster bit back the amused smirk he felt growing. His little experiment was no better than a dog, all bark with no bite._

**_“Did you tell me no?”_ ** _Gaster asked, but got no reply. **“Look at me.”** Papyrus' eyes remained on the floor and Gaster glared. Sans flinched as he watched Gaster's magic begin to appear. A black inky tentacle immured from his shadow and with the flick of Gaster's wrist, collided into Papyrus knocking the skeleton into the wall behind him. Sans’ cry was muffled by his hand, but Papyrus' yelp was loud and sharp. The doctor took another step forward._

 **_“Look up.”_ ** _Papyrus obeyed, frightened eyes on the monster before him. **“You have no voice.”** The inky limb smacked the skeleton skull. **“You have no power.”** Another slap. **“You have no say, no right, no will, no nothing.”** A painful blow followed each item listed. Papyrus was sobbing by the end, but Gaster was not finished. His magic wrapped around the skeleton throat and lifted him into the air, raising him so he was at Gaster's height._

 **_“I do not obey you, subject. I command you and you obey me. If I tell you to sit, you sit. If I tell you to walk, you walk. If you fail to do as I say, you will be punished.”_ ** _Gaster dropped the skeleton and he fell to the ground, trembling in fear. Papyrus looked up at Sans, begging for help._

 **_“S-Sans.”_ ** _The skeleton wailed and Sans bit back a sob. Too terrified to move despite his entire being breaking in half at the sight of Papyrus broken before him. Gaster reached down and picked Papyrus up by the back of his gown, holding him like a young animal. Did he really believe Sans was capable of disobeying him? Was his experiment that moronic? Gaster wanted to laugh._

 **_“Sans will not help you,”_ ** _Gaster told the skeleton who continued to call out to his friend. **“I will not help you. No one will help you. No one will save you. You can cry and scream, but nobody will come because nobody cares. Do you think you are worth caring about? Do you believe that you are a monster like me? You are not a monster. You are a failed experiment and nobody cares about failures.”** Gaster told the blubbering skeleton._

 **_“Sans!”_ ** _Papyrus wailed and Gaster growled, dropping his subject again._

 **_“Too thick-headed and pathetic to even listen. Must I show you everything? Do you want me to show you how helpless you are?”_ ** _Papyrus paid no attention to Gaster and the scientist was done. **“Fine. I'll show you exactly how alone and meaningless you are to us.”** Gaster faced Sans and the skeleton stilled. **“Come.”** The skeleton was by the doctor's side in seconds, barely able to stand on his shaking legs. **“Hit him.”** Sans' stared at Gaster as if he was insane. His pupils shrunken to the point where they were almost non-existent. His hands were still over his mouth, unable to trust his voice. He stole a glance to Papyrus who watched Sans in both fear and hope and the skeleton shook his head._

_No, he couldn't hurt him. Sans would never hurt him._

_Gaster lifted his foot and brought it down on Papyrus' leg. The skeleton shrieked and Sans cried out, tears forming in his sockets. Papyrus tried desperately to remove Gaster's foot, but the doctor kept it held down._

**_“Disobey me again, and I break it,”_ ** _Gaster warned, adding enough pressure to feel the bone bend under his foot. **“Summon your weapon and hit him. Now.”** Sans opened his mouth to beg, but Papyrus' scream silenced him and he squeezed his eyes shut. He had to obey. He had no choice. No will. His life meant nothing. Sans listened to Gaster and this was just another test. A small bone hovered beside Sans and Gaster smirked. Papyrus watched in horror as Sans wrapped his hand around the bone, an endless stream of tears cascading down his face._

 **_“Sans, no,”_ ** _Papyrus begged, ignoring Gaster completely. Sans raised his hand, eyes opening to look down at his friend who stared back up at him in fear. **“SANS NO!”**_

 **_“I'm sorry,”_ ** _Sans whispered before he brought his arm down and bashed the bone into Papyrus' shoulder. The experiment fell to the ground, screaming and crying out, begging Sans to help him even after his attack. Gaster removed his leg and stepped back._

**_“Again.”_ **

**_“Sans, no! Please, no! Sans please!”_ ** _Sans felt like he was about to be sick, but he obeyed Gaster and attacked Papyrus again...and again…and again._

 _After five hits, Papyrus stopped begging for help and only shrieked in terror. He flinched away at every movement, bones rattling together as he blabbered incoherently to himself._ _Sans was a mess, unable to think or feel as he watched Papyrus breakdown. Gaster had to drag Sans to his room and didn't return to him for two days. In those two days, Sans did nothing. Refused to eat, he refused to sleep, he refused to feel. He played over the scene in his mind, unable to forget a single detail. He had cried and screamed all alone in his room. His soul throbbed and felt so painful he wanted to rip it out and kill it. Everything hurt in a way he'd never felt pain before. Sans always knew he was a creation and a weapon, but never before had he felt so inhumane. He was a weapon, exactly as Gaster had told him over and over again. His soul was nothing to him except a source of his power. He had no heart, no kindness, no mercy. He was a hollow shell._

_When Gaster had finally pulled Sans out of his room the skeleton obeyed his every command emotionless. Gaster seemed pleased by the behaviour, but for once, Sans did not care. His eyes remained on the ground as Gaster checked his stats and body. Sans was so lost in his cloud of misery that he hadn't even noticed he had followed Gaster into Papyrus' room until his soul began to pound in his rib cage. Gaster closed the door as he left and watched through the glass as the two stared at each. He had expected Papyrus to be the terrified one, but Sans appeared to be more distraught. He backed up hitting the corner farthest from Papyrus. The younger subject was curled up in his own corner, trembling as he watched Sans. For an entire hour, they did not move and Gaster eventually opened the door and allowed Sans to leave._

_Visit after visit, everything remained the same. The skeletons would stay in their corners, unmoving until Gaster came and took Sans away. The scientist wondered if his bonding experiment was now over. The two were terrified of each other and after two whole months of visits made no sign of becoming as close as they once were._

_Gaster was about to give up on the phase when Papyrus moved for the first time. The movement caught the attention of both Sans and the scientist. Sans pressed against the door, watching as Papyrus got to his feet. Seconds ticked by and Gaster watched intently as Papyrus began slowly making his way over to Sans. He took one step forward and stopped, waiting a few moments before taking another. Each step had Sans panicking. He clawed at the door, whimpering loudly before Papyrus stood a few feet away and Sans clung to the wall, breathing heavily. Papyrus tried to advance forward, but Sans winced and the sudden movement startled Papyrus, halting him in his place. The two stood, Sans shaking while Papyrus remained still. His body remained in a submissive stance, unable to hide the fear he felt as he spoke._

**_“...No hurt?”_ ** _Papyrus asked, voice barely loud enough for Sans to hear. Sans didn't want to hurt him. Sans felt so much pain, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to go through it all again. He was certain he wouldn't be able to. He'd never hurt him again. Sans would rather die._

 **_“...n-no...hurt...”_ ** _Sans more or less mouthed, his voice failing to create an audible sound. Papyrus then did something Sans would never in a million years expect him to do..._

_He smiled._

_The older experiment_ _'s sockets began to water until they overflowed and began falling down his face._

 **_“I-I'm s-s-orr-ry.”_ ** _Sans cried his body crumbling before the skeleton. He curled up in a tight ball, wailing and apologizing repeatedly. Gaster leaned back, expression blank. Sans felt something brush against his shoulder and he jolted away, lifting his head to see Papyrus standing right next to him. Sans remained still, watching as Papyrus wrapped his arm around the skeleton and held onto him. The experiment's jaw began to tremble, tears returning in full force. He sobbed, clinging onto the skeleton beside him, refusing to let go._

 

_~*~_

 

Sans eyes opened slowly, blinking repeatedly to clear his fuzzy vision.

It had been a while since he had thought about the labs, even longer since he recalled his first encounter with his brother. It wasn't shortly after where his dream, or rather memory, left off that the two were moved into one room and their daily life together had begun.

Sans turned his head to the side and spotted his brother beside him, curled up and looking rather exhausted. Detecting another soft snore, the skeleton glanced around and spotted Bonnie on the floor fast asleep. Sans frowned a bit in confusion, but carefully sat up, looking for his guardian who was nowhere in sight.

Grillby was on his way home from his therapists. He had gotten too hopeful and expected Bonnie or Papyrus to call by now telling him that Sans had woken up but he received nothing. He felt so exhausted he was about ready to just pass out in the snow. He knew as soon as he got home, though he'd be unable to rest, too busy worrying about his child to sleep.

Grillby let out a loud sigh, sticking his key in the door and unlocking it. He opened up the front door and froze, gawking at the sight before him. Sans too stilled, foot hovering in midair, a piece of bread sticking out his mouth. He looked like he was caught in some scandalous act, eyes darting between Grillby, the bread, his bedroom, and then back at Grillby. The bartender only stared questioning if Sans was really in front of him or if he was just so exhausted he had started hallucinating. It wasn't until Sans removed the hand that held onto the bread and offered a small wave, giving the flame a confused smile that the bartender accepted the reality in front of him. Grillby ran forward and scooped his child up, holding him in a tight embrace. Sans recoiled away at first, startled by the sudden movement but quickly relaxed and looked down at his piece of bread that slipped out of his mouth and now was on the floor.

“Oh my god.” Grillby breathed, basking in the feeling of his child awake in his arm. “God, Kid-Sans, I-you-oh my god.” Grillby couldn't form any sentences, pressing the skeleton against him. Sans slowly moved his arm up, hugging his guardian back. Grillby let out an airy laugh, body flooded with so much relief he felt like he was about to start sobbing. “You scared the shit out of us, kiddo.” Grillby murmured, clinging onto the skeleton. Sans rested his head against the fire elements shoulders, nuzzling it slightly.

“I'm sorry?” He questioned, not sure what to say. Grillby only laughed, shaking his head.

“When did you wake up?” Grillby asked after a long pause.

“I don't know, maybe twenty minutes ago. Everyone was asleep and I was hungry, so I went to get a snack.”Grillby regrettably pulled away and Sans offered him a small smile. The bartender rested his forehead against the skeleton's, unable to let him go completely.

“How do you feel?”

“Okay, better than before.” Grillby nodded, finally detaching himself from the skeleton. “Everyone looks really tired.” Sans pointed out and Grillby rubbed the back of his neck, taking in a deep breath.

“We've all been too worried to sleep. We really didn't know what to do and-”

“SANS?!” Grillby's bedroom door was swung open, bashing against the wall. Bonnie jolted up from the floor as Papyrus dashed out of the room. His worried sockets landed on his brother and he gasped, running down the stairs and almost tripping several times before flinging himself at his brother. The force of the skeleton colliding into Sans' knocked him over, but the younger skeleton refused to release him.

“Hey, bro.” Sans greeted, resting a hand against his brother's skull.

“You're awake.” Papyrus' voice was thick and shaky overwhelmed with emotion. “You didn't wake up a-and-”

“I'm up now,” Sans told him, a gentle smile on his face as he tried to reassure his brother he was okay. “You know I dreamt about you, right? Must have heard you talking while I slept.”

“Really?” Papyrus sniffed. “I-I talked to you a lot. Was it a good dream?” Sans' face became tense for a moment, recalling the memory. Was it a good one? He didn't think so when he thought about everything that had happened, but the underlining theme of meeting Papyrus and forming their bond was something Sans never wanted to forget, no matter how painful. He had made mistakes, but never again. The skeleton would never allow himself to be in that situation again. He didn't care who it was, Bonnie, Grillby, even the king, Sans would not ever hit his brother again. Once had been enough, twice had been too much, but after that attack, Sans had become physically incapable of using his offensive moves on his brother. There had been multiple times during Gaster's training that Papyrus had fallen over or accidentally moved into Sans' range of fire and without even becoming fully aware of himself, Sans called off the attack causing it to fade away before it even got close to his brother. Sans didn't think he was capable of even hurting Papyrus if he tried, he feared the outcome too much. Sans would lose all traces of the small little sanity he had left and he wouldn't trust himself to be near Papyrus again.

Papyrus was the only one capable of calming his brother down because his soul reacted with Sans'. Gaster had made the two compatible with each other and their bond made them almost reliant on the other. Even if Sans wasn't paying attention or was too lost in an episode to even know where he was, his soul was there. It felt it saw, it called out to its mate. It provided a solid source of stability and a reminder that Sans needed to calm down or else he could risk hurting his brother. And like magic, it always worked. Without that constant force keeping him grounded, Sans wasn't sure he'd be able to ever recover from his flashbacks.

“Yeah, it was a good dream,” Sans replied, clicking his teeth against his brother' forehead. Even if it was more of a nightmare that ended on a good note, it was still one he'd treasure. Papyrus may be unaware of what had happened, completely forgetting everything about Gaster and the labs like everyone else, but Sans wouldn't. And secretly, he didn't really want to. He wished he could forget some of the more painful moments, but the day he met Papyrus, the first time they shared a room together, teaching him to read Wingding, the happy moments when the doctor wasn't around, Sans never wanted to forget those.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Papyrus wondered but Sans just shook his head, burying his face in Papyrus' chest, drinking the comforting feeling.

“No, I have you. That's all I need.” Sans muttered and Grillby looked up at Bonnie, who was leaning against the stair rail.

“What did Flurry have to say?” She asked once Grillby walked over to her.

“Nothing too great. Pretty much the same advice I've always known. Keep him happy and keep him near Papyrus.” The bartender told his friend, taking a seat on the steps, watching the two skeletons talk softly to each other.

“We'll have to handcuff those two together, won't we?” Bonnie joked, sitting on the steps next to the fire element.

“You know you can go home, right? You don't have to deal with this.” The bunny flicked Grillby's glasses.

“I'm here because I care, dumbo. You need someone too.” Bonnie's voice was firm, gaze steady before she cracked a smile. “Besides, I think there are still pieces of lettuce stuck between the couch seats.” Grillby let out and exhausted laugh and shook his head. “Hey.” She called, nudging the bartender's side, getting him to look back at up at her. “We'll be okay.” Grillby tried to offer her the best smile he could manage, which wasn't much. He watched Sans lay on his back with Papyrus on his stomach, hands waving and moving around frantically. Although his gaze on was his younger brother, his pupils were a bit faded, zoning in and out of the conversation. Papyrus seemed to notice this as well and would tap Sans nasal cavity or face to keep him focused but did not mention it. Those two had a bond Grillby didn't think he'd ever be able to have. They acted like one person that got split into two. They were able to notice the smallest details that even Grillby wasn't able to catch. There had been days were Sans had been completely fine to the fire element, but then Papyrus would see his brother and hug him or ask him to read him something and Sans would seem happier like the burden Grillby was blind to was no longer there.

Grillby wanted to help him. Grillby wanted to be there for Sans, for both of them. But he knew he'd never be able to replace or even come close to the level of trust and affection the two brothers shared. And Grillby wouldn't let that get to him. Grillby may not be able to help Sans like he'd want to, but Papyrus could and that was enough. Sans didn't need a thousand different methods to cope if he had one that worked as perfectly as his brother. It may not be the most reliable at times, but for now, it was enough.

“Yeah,” Grillby murmured, watching as a genuine smile broke out on the older skeleton's face. “We'll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha *sweats* So, uh, I'm a big old dummy. My friend bought a plane ticket to come visit last month and I misread it as May and well, turns out it is actually March...March 11th....Today...Fuck. So, she'll be here till the 20th and I don't know if I will be updating during that time (most likely not, but there might be one or two, don't hold me to that). So, enjoy the early update, I guess? To be honest, I was not expecting this at all and even thought to myself on different occasions "Man, I hope I'm not writing any fanfic when she comes down to visit." Blah, oh well. I have an apartment to clean, I'll catch you guys later. Be good, stay in school and don't do drugs.
> 
> Also, the amount of times I had to go back and reread my own work to see what I wrote down is insane. So I don't think I mentioned Papyrus and Sans first encounter or hinted at it. I tried to glance over the chapters, but I didn't want to read them in depth so if I mentioned this before LET ME KNOW, I'll either fix this or go back and cut it out. Either way, enjoy and thanks for the lovin'. See you guys on the flipside. 
> 
> (Also also. In case anyone feels like it's weird for Sans to totally lose it last chapter and now just wake up feeling happy. There is a reason!!! It may just be my own paranoia acting up but if it doesn't feel like it flows let me know so I can try to fix it.)
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	27. Preparations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Hannah's computer. Take your time, buddy. 
> 
> *Rather long end note, but please at least glance over the first paragraph marked with "*". It has to do with future updates and the progression of the story.

“Why does talking about it help?” Grillby glanced up from his book he was not paying attention to look at his child. Sans sat on the floor in the living room, eyes glued to his socks, toes curling and uncurling. “If talking about it hurts and thinking about it causes panic attacks, why do I have to talk about it?”

“You don't have to.” The bartender corrected, closing the book and setting it aside.

Two weeks had passed since Sans' episode and he has yet to see someone. The skeleton had gotten cold feet after his week was up and refused to see anyone. Grillby had gone to receive some paperwork, but Sans wasn't being as willing to cooperate as he once was. The two weeks have been hard on everyone and no one felt like themselves. Sans hardly felt anything at all and had been caught multiple times arguing with himself or just openly chatting with no one. Grillby had gotten very little sleep as of late due to Sans having more nightmares than usual. It was a rare occurrence now for the skeleton to not wake up screaming or crying and it was often impossible to get him back to sleep. Grillby took it upon himself to stay awake until Sans eventually passed out. Papyrus usually was glued to his brother's side at all times. He had begun treating Sans like a child, holding his hand all the time and even helping him with the most basic of tasks like walking down the stairs or getting dressed. Sans did not complain nor try to stop Papyrus, but Grillby found the behavior a bit strange. However, nothing about these past two weeks had been normal at all. Today was another commonly occurring day where Sans was up before Papyrus. Even though Grillby got very little sleep the night before, leaving Sans alone was a new rule no one openly stated but was put into place after Sans had been caught talking to himself for the third time.

The flame element was growing more and more exhausted with each passing day. He tried his best to keep up with his usual appearance and attitude, but he knew he didn't appear as lively as he once had. Multiple people had confessed their concern at the bar, but Grillby just told them he was tired the honest truth. The bartender would gladly continue to sacrifice his sleep if it meant making Sans' sleepless nights pass by easier for him. Grillby could always nap when Papyrus was awake or when Bonnie came over. Sans took priority. Grillby troubles and desired were pushed aside, not exactly the healthiest situation, but one he had grown to accept as his new one.

“I just don't see how it helps,” Sans muttered, laying on the floor.

“It just does. Talking about it and being able to speak to someone about it feels so refreshing. Do you not feel better when you tell me things?”

“I guess, but you aren't a stranger. You're my dad.” The skeleton voiced and Grillby was too tired to pay attention to the dull flutter in his chest. “Why can't I just tell you everything?”

“You can, but I'm not qualified to help you. Therapy and whatnot is more than just talking. It's understanding why and how and just learning how to deal with it.” The bartender forced himself to sit up, his position on the couch causing his eyes to droop.

“I understand why and I know how.” Sans began picking at the carpet below. “I just don't know how to deal with it.”

“That's why you talk to someone who can help you.” Grillby told his child who sighed. “It's not fun, but it helps. I don't know how many more times I can say this, but it's all about you right now. You are going to have to want to do this for yourself and because you want to. Durig the session you'll talk about what you want and what you feel comfortable with. You are in control here, no one else but you.”

“How can I be in control when I don't feel in control? I can't even control my own head.” Sans draped an arm over the side of his head and frowned. Grillby exhaled, looking down at his son.

“Are they bothering you again?” Sans' voices have begun to appear more frequently than before. The skeleton had told Grillby they were almost always speaking to him, but usually just comments he tried to ignore. He no longer got scared when he heard them talk, only exhausted. Everyone knew when the voices would appear because Sans just suddenly look very defeated and tired. It was painful to watch, but the only methods Grillby knew to help were not working and Papyrus did very little to vanish them without using magic.

“Yea.”

“What are they saying?”

“They're just talking. Now they are insulting.” Sans knocked his hand against his skull, hoping to silence his head but got nothing.

“You got to stop focusing on it. Come here.” Grillby motioned for Sans to come over, but the skeleton didn't more.

“I don't want to get up,” Sans mumbled, burying his face in the carpet. “He does not shut up.”

“Hey.” Grillby lightly tossed a pillow at Sans and the skeleton grunted. “Don't talk to it.”

“I don't like it when they insult you.” Sans groaned.

“Don't care, don't talk to them.” Grillby pushed himself up and stood over his child, nudging him gently with his foot. “Come on, get up,” Sans whined. “Lazybones, get up.” The skeleton let out a long exhale. “Sans you will not lay on the floor all day again, get up, please.” With no response Grillby huffed. “Sans, up!” Sans flinched, curling in on himself. His eyes were squeezed shut, but after a few moments slowly peeled open and he looked up at Grillby, sockets both scared and betrayed.

“...don't.” He whimpered, barely audible. “Don't say that,” Sans mumbled and Grillby looked guilty and crouched down next to his child.

“I'm sorry, Sans. I didn't mean to use that tone.” Grillby apologized, his exhaustion getting the best of him.

“Your tone was fine, just don't-don't say that.” The skeleton muttered, still forming a tight ball, hood pulled over his head. “Don't…Don't command me. Don't.”

“I'm sorry,” Grillby said and the two were quiet for a moment before Sans started to sit up. “You don't-it's fine, Sans. You can lay down if you want.” The fire element told his child. He laid down beside the skeleton, placing an arm over his face. “I'm sorry. I was just tired you don't-it's not...I'm sorry.” Silence filled the air and neither monsters moved.

“Are you okay?” Sans asked after a while.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Grillby stated, still covering his face. After a few minutes, he heard the rustling of papers and looked around to find Sans sitting at the coffee table filling out the paperwork for the physiologist. “What are you doing?” Sans did not reply and only continued to fill out the entire packet before he held it up.

“I fill out the work and you tell me what's wrong.”

“Kid, don't. I don't want you to fill out this paperwork because of that.”

“And I don't want you to be upset. I want you to be happy and getting help will make you happy.” Grillby sat up, trying to take the pencil out of Sans' hand but the skeleton held it away.

“It won't make me happy if you don't want to. I don't want you to do this because of me.”

“I don't want you to be upset because of me!” Sans countered and Grillby groaned.

“I'm not upset because of you!” The bartender argued.

“Then why?” Sans held the pencil against his chest, sockets wide and boring into Grillby's.

“I'm just tired.” Sans frowned, glancing down at the other packets, but Grillby snatched them up before he could grab them. “I'm just tired, that's all. I'm not upset or even unhappy, I'm just exhausted.”

“Gaster made the Core.” Grillby looked confused, flame curling slightly. “Gaster worked on the Core a lot when I was younger.” The skeleton blurted, fist curled uprightly.

“Sans what are you-”

“I use to think Gaster was a lot nicer when I was younger, but that was because I didn't know what real company was until I met Papyrus.”

“Sans why are-”

“Gaster never liked Papyrus. He always hated him and he was going to kill him the day we left!” Sans voice started rising, eyes widening, shiny and brightly.

“Sans-”

“Gaster fell, I pushed him into the machine!”

“Stop-”

“He dragged me in and it exploded and everyone died!”

“Sans, stop!”

“I killed Gaster!”

“STOP!”

“NO!” Sans was panting, sockets the size of saucers, body shaking slightly. Grillby leaned away, taken back by Sans' shout. “Don't lie! I know about lies! I know how to lie! I know how to tell if you lie! You can't lie to me!” Sans took in a trembling breath, defensive posture slouching. “We don't lie to each other.” Sans' voice shook as he spoke, sockets beginning to water. “You promised, Dad.”

Sans knew it was hypocritical of him to get upset about Grillby lying to him, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed and hurt. Sans tried his best, to be honest and truthful. He failed a lot of the time, but the constant knowledge of having a reliable crutch like Grillby was always a necessity. Sans depended on Grillby's reliability, his word. Without his guardian's trust and voice, he didn't know who to turn to. He didn't know why Grillby felt the need to hide how he was feeling, but it hurt to know he did. Sans didn't care about his own mental state. He wanted to know if someone was upset regardless of that, especially if his instability was the cause of the rift. Sans knew Grillby was always right, in everything he said. Even if he needed time to see it, he understood now and that's all the mattered. Grillby knew how to help him and the skeleton needed to start listening because even if no one wanted him to seek out help for their benefit, Sans could not live with himself knowing that the ones he loved the most were unhappy because of him. Damn his fears, his panic, his anxiety, his family was suffering and he needed to be the one helping them now.

“You told me if you were upset you'd talk. You said you wouldn't treat me differently because of what happened. So don't. Don't lie because you think I can't handle it or because you think I am too unstable to deal with it. Don't make them right.” The fire element's soul felt heavy under the weight of Sans' gaze. His word cut through him and he wasn't sure what hurt more, the words or the expression. “You told me they aren't real and that everything they said is a lie and I'm trying to believe that. So don't make them right, because-because they aren't.”

“Sans, I-” Grillby closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “I am just worried, that's all. Just worried and tired.”

“You haven't been acting like yourself,” Sans told him, body going a bit lax. “No one has.”

“It's hard to just,” the bartender waved his hand around trying to formulate his sentence. “We just don't know what to do. It's not a justifiable excuse. Nothing in this situation is because we should be trying to make you feel better instead of treating you differently.” The fire element leaned against the table, back hunched over as he stared down at his folded hands.

“Are you scared?” The skeleton asked, unable to read how Grillby felt for once. Papyrus was scared. He never let it show, but Sans could tell by how his soul fluttered when Sans got distracted or wasn't by his side. Still, despite his fear Papyrus remained positive and hopeful. Papyrus always remained hopeful and positive, at least now with his memories of the past forgotten.

“I'm not afraid. I have no reason to be. I am just unhappy with myself. I should be doing something to help you and I'm not. I don't know how, and I feel so useless.” Sans wanted to argue, but he wondered if he could make Grillby fear him or pin all the bartender's negative emotions on him. He had already attacked the bartender and exposed himself at his weakest, but Grillby remained by his side. Everyone stayed with him, Bonnie, Grillby, Papyrus. Sans had done nothing but hurt them all over and over again, but they held onto him just as tightly as he wanted to be held. Sans didn't deserve them, but he was thankful they were by his side.

Sans reached out and gripped onto the corner of the packets Grillby had his hands on. The bartender lifted his hands, allowing Sans to slide the papers over to himself. The skeleton began filling out more of the work and the fire element lightly grabbed the pencil, gaining his child's attention.

“You don't have to do this. I don't want you to for-”

“I want to.” Sans cut him off, voice small but firm. “You-...You were right.” The skeleton said, looking down at the packet. “Talking, it-it helps.”

Although Grillby was happy and slightly relieved Sans was back on board for getting help, the skeleton still didn't seem to know exactly what to do when it came to talking or expressing himself in a normal manner. Most of the time he just ended up blurting out random things at even randomer times. When Papyrus was around Sans would usually talk about their time outside, but with his brother away Sans would speak of Gaster and the Labs. He never really went into too much detail on the matter. The skeleton would just inform Grillby of a little fact like it was common trivia knowledge. Grillby had asked Sans why he was suddenly so informative and the skeleton had told him talking made the voices stop. Although Grillby was ecstatic Sans had found a way to deal with his problems, he was alarmed by how often Sans had begun his blurting outbursts. The bartender had thought Sans was hearing things more often before, but now that the skeleton was openly confessing every time he hear something the fire element just felt sick. Yesterday alone Sans had started talking about his past fourteen different times. Grillby did not want to rush the skeleton in his recovery process, but things seemed to be getting out of hand.

“Dad?” Sans called one night as he opened Grillby's bedroom door. He poked his head in, one hand curling around the door while the other held a blue packet.

“Yeah?” The bartender asked, flicking on the light beside him. “Nightmare?”

“No, well-no. Just couldn't sleep. Um, this,” Sans held up the paper and Grillby slid on his glasses to see it. “I don't know how to answer a question.”

“What does it say?” Sans glanced down at the words, hesitating before reading it out loud.

“Have you had any involvement with the criminal justice system revolving incidents known only by the guard or the king?” Grillby remained silent and Sans stole a peak in his direction before continuing to read. “If yes, is the cause of your visit related to that involvement? If yes, please consult with the king before continuing with your treatment.” The skeleton turned the paper around to show his guardian. “Then it asks for his signature and that he notify the hospital for confidentiality purposes.” Grillby took the paper and looked it over. Rereading the questions numerous times, he sighed loudly.

“Crap.”

“Do I answer yes?”

“I mean, maybe?” The element looked over the packet again.

“Would it count? No one remembers. No one knew.” Grillby groaned, running a hand over his flamed head.

“Maybe so, but you need to be able to talk about everything, including what the king didn't want you knowing about and his involvement. But making a claim like that with no evidence or without Asgore even being aware of it is dangerous. It's not illegal to speak poorly of the ruler, but it is illegal to withhold information regarding a corrupt situation like this. If the king or anyone in the higher royal ranks were in the wrong, then it's your duty as a citizen to speak up about it so the can be removed. And with you, both Asgore and the Royal Scientist were keeping secrets. Even if one of them is gone, for you to confess these things is very serious.” Grillby ran a hand over his face, exhaling loudly. “I totally forgot about this.” The two were quiet for a few moments. Sans didn't know what to say and didn't interrupt Grillby as he thought so he remained silent. “We have to go see Asgore.” The skeleton frowned at this.

“Can't I just say no?”

“And how would that help you? You can't lie or avoid the truth.”

“Why would he believe me?” Sans grumbled, kicking at the ground.

“He doesn't have to believe you. He just needs to agree and to sign the paper.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I know you don't believe this, but he is usually very cooperative, especially with children.” Sans scoffed, unamused. “I know you hate him, but you'll probably just have to answer a few questions and that's it.”

“Why?”

“Because he probably wants to know what you are going to say about him before you just start confessing. If he is going to agree he needs to know what you are going to be saying so he can prepare.” The skeleton face contorted into a wary expression.

“Prepare for what?”

“Prepare the therapist or whoever. A, like, vow of secrecy or something like that. With a topic like this, confidentiality is important which is why we need to see Asgore. The hospital needs to know it is okay for you to talk about it and to make sure he knows about it so they won't get in trouble. It's just laws and stuff.” Grillby removed his glasses, running a hand over his face. “Do you think you could handle that? Talking to him.”

“I don't know,” Sans answered honestly. “I don't want to, but if I have to I will. I know you won't make me, but if I have to in order to get help then I will. Do I have to answer everything?” Grillby shook his head.

“No, only what you want.”

“What if-...what if he wants proof?” Sans mumbled, rubbing his arm. Grillby opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The skeleton stared down at the ground, expression pained. “The labs. I don't-...I don't know if there's...I don't want to-I can't-”

“You won't.” The guardian spoke, his tone sincere and honest. “You won't ever go back. I won't allow you to.” The child stared up at his guardian, expression lost. “If he wants proof he can get it himself. He can search the labs. You aren't going near it. I'll make it clear to him what out intensions are. Before you say anything and before anything happens between the three of us he has to agree to sign the paper first. After he has signed, then we can see what happens. You won't have to worry about holding anything back or him not keeping his word. I won't let him make you do anything you don't want to. Do you think you can do that?” The skeleton just nodded, fidgeting where he stood. “What time is it?” Grillby wondered.

“Two in the morning,” Sans replied.

“Still not tired?” Sans shrugged, climbing into the bed.

“Yeah.” Grillby covered his mouth as he yawned.

“You want to talk?”

“You're tired.” Sans pointed out and the bartender nodded, setting his glasses and the packet on the bedside table.

“I am, but I'll live. I don't want you staying up alone. Something on your mind?” The skeleton crawled under the covers, cuddling up to his guardian.

“Not really. Can I talk about Papyrus? He helps me stay calm.”

“Sure, kiddo.”

And Sans blabbered away about his brother until he fell asleep an hour later. He talked mainly about the good times only touching briefly on the bad memories. The skeleton told Grillby about how they met, when they moved in, their life together. Grillby remained quiet, only nodded or occasionally rubbing Sans' back or shoulder if he seemed too upset. Sans nodded off and Grillby soon followed after.

The following morning Grillby dropped Papyrus off at Bonnie's house before he took Sans to go to the castle. The trip was long and Sans was unable to hold still. He clung to Grillby once in the capital and the bartender eventually had to pick the skeleton up and carry him. He asked multiple times if Sans was okay and wanted to go through with it and although Sans said yes Grillby had a feeling standing in front of Asgore's door was the last place he wanted to be. All of Sans apprehension and nerves vanished when the king stood in front of them. His worry and fear turned only into hate and disgust that Asgore felt instantly.

“Hello.” The king greeted, eyes darting between the two of them. His friendly demeanor, trying its best to shine through his discomfort. “Would you like some tea?”

Twenty minutes later the three were sitting at the table with a hot cup of golden flower tea. Sans watched the cup wearily waiting for Grillby to take a sip before taking one himself. Asgore sat waiting patiently for Grillby to explain his business, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible to ease Sans' emotions.

“Sans has decided to get help from the health clinic in Snowdin.” Grillby started and Asgore looked pleased.

 “I'm very happy to hear that. I doubt you traveled all this way to tell me that, though.”

 “We need you to sign this.” Grillby looked over at his child and Sans pulled out the paper he folded and slide it across the table. Asgore straightened the packet out and scanned the document. The boss monster hummed, expression serious.

“I'm in a bit of a pickle here, old friend.” The king announced, hands folding together. “I'm afraid I have no idea why I would need to sign this document. If you do not recall, I know nothing about what happened to your children.”

“I am well aware of that. Sans has agreed to speak with you to the best of his ability if you agree to sign the paper and cooperate with any future issues regarding Sans recovery process.” Asgore nodded, hand reaching up to stroke at his beard.

“What would he speak of exactly?”

“Everything. Every single thing he knows about including what I did not tell you and whatever he knows about the souls.” The king tensed up at the mention of them. “Sans needs to be able to speak about what has happened freely and openly and in order to do so, we need your cooperation.” Grillby's body was tense, refusing to seem weak or negotiable.

“May I ask a few questions first? It doesn't seem fair to go into this blindly. I understand your feelings, but I wish for this to be a debatable agreement and not so one-sided.” Sans peered up at Grillby, teeth clicking together. “I am more than willing to sign and to cooperate, but only if I do have a say in the matter once I understand the situation,” Asgore stated, back straight.

“I don't see why you need a voice in the matter. This is about Sans, not you.”

“I do not know what I'd like to stay on it. I know nothing and to promise total obedience is foolish.”

“I told you,” Sans mumbled his magic engulfing the paper, but Asgore held onto it.

“Sans, please listen,” Asgore begged, expression soft. “I want to help you.” Sans glared. “You may not believe that, but I do. You are under my watch, all the monsters are. It is my duty as king to ensure you all are as happy and safe as you can possibly be.”

“Liar.” Sans hissed socket's hollow.

“Why do you believe I would lie to you?”

“Because you let him do it. You let it happen.”

“Let what happen?” Asgore pressed.

“Asgore, enough!” The fire element snapped, flame darkening.

“You-!” Sans slammed his hands on the table pushing himself up. He shot Asgore a foul look, teeth grinding together. Grillby reached out to calm his child down, but the skeleton leaned away from him. His pupils returned, eyes trailing down to the table. Slowly, Sans body relaxed and he sat back down, face annoyed. “Okay.”

“Sans?” Grillby questioned.

“You can say what you want, but sign the paper first. Also,” the skeleton stared the boss monster down, “I want you to promise you won't make me talk about or do anything I don't want to.” Asgore looked hurt by the comment.

“Of course, Sans. You know I wouldn't-”

“As king,” Sans ordered. “Your word as Asgore is useless and a lie. You value your title above everything else. Promise me as the King of the Underground, not Asgore.” Asgore remained seated for only a moment before The king rose to his feet and Grillby did the same. The boss monster advanced forward, stopping a few feet in front of Sans. Sans gripped onto the table, refusing to let his fear get the best of him. Asgore placed his right hand over his chest, kneeling down on one knee before the skeleton. The two held a steady gaze before he began to speak.

“Sans of Snowdin, I solemnly promise to you as King of all Monsters, ruler of the Underground, and your king to help you in whatever way I can regarding the topic of your health. I shall not demand answers to questions you do not wish to answer, nor will I command you to fulfill a task you have no desire to do. I swear to you as king. I vow to keep my promise as long as you,” Asgore removed the handover is chest and held it out to the skeleton, “agree to allow me to help and stay informed on all matters concerning my kingdom and its people.” Sans eyes darted down to the offered hand. Carefully, he extended his hand, dwarfed by the size of Asgore's. The King gently shook the skeleton's hand, a soft smile on his face.

“Okay,” Sans mumbled, pulling his hand away the second it was released. Asgore rose with a huff, sitting back down and Grillby followed. The fire element watched Sans with concern, but the skeleton just seemed more conflicted than anything else. The King signed the packet and handed it back to Sans who folded it and stuck it back into his pocket.

“May I begin questioning?” The skeleton nodded. “What made you change your mind?” Sans gave the boss monster a confused look. “You always appeared to openly hate me. Yet, now you seem so agreeable. Is there a reason?” For a first question, Sans had honestly expected worse.

“It's because of you that Papyrus was made,” Sans told him, ignoring his puzzled expression. “It's also because of you that any of this happened. But, you gave me Papyrus. I agreed for him. I think you are terrible and selfish and stupid.” Sans face fell a bit, staring into his hardly touched tea. “But because of that, you gave me happiness and a reason to live. So, thank you.” Asgore looked touched.

“Sans, I-”

“Shut up.” He grumbled face flushed. “Just ask your questions.” The boss monster held back a laugh but the light feeling hardened as the room got more tense.

“How did we first meet?” Once again, Sans was surprised by the questions. No one seemed to ask what he thought they would.

“He introduced me to you.”

“He?” Sans finger tapped against the table, teeth clicking together.

“Gaster. Doctor WingDing Gaster, former royal scientist.” Asgore seemed perplexed, brow furrowed.

“I don't recall the name.”

“No one does,” Sans stated, picking at the table cloth. “No one but me”

“Why?”

“Too vague.” The skeleton said, shaking his head. “Ask another question.”

“What happened to him.” Sans watched the king, expression blank.

“Ask another question.” Asgore then began to ask the questions Sans expected him to. Unfortunately, those were all the ones he didn't know if he could answer. Sans tried his best, but when he felt his magic start to flow and Soul throb he shook his head. This followed for several minutes before Asgore began to ask questions pertaining to himself. The skeleton answered those easily, only occasionally stopping or grabbing Grillby's hand if he felt overwhelmed.

Sans told Asgore everything that related to him. He told him about his relationship with Gaster. Sans went into details about what Gaster had planned for Sans and Papyrus, the souls, the injections, the training. He only stopped once the boss monster told him to. The skeleton went on for a while about Papyrus and always reverted back to talking about his brother if he felt too stressed. Sans informed Asgore about his visits and what happened with the experiments. Grillby remained supportive the entire time, allowing Sans to hold his hand and even occasionally speak for him when he didn't want to finish sentences. By the end, the king was very pale, expression sorrowful and heavy, face reflecting his age.

“I just don't understand.” He whispered, holding his tea cup. “Why would I...”

“He said he could get your family back.” Asgore looked up at the skeleton who continued to fiddle with the lace on the table. “Break the barrier, stop the war, free your people.” Sans pupil traveled up to meet the king's sad eyes. “And you believed him.”

“Could he? Was I believing a lie?” The skeleton shrugged.

“He probably could. The next ones would be better, less alive, more strength.” Sans rested his skull on the table, phalanges tracing odd patterns. “Don't think it matters, though. You wouldn't care either way.” The boss monster looked pained by Sans' comment.

“Sans, I-I'm sorry.”

“No, you're not.” Sans shot back, voice dull. “You feel sorry now, but you aren't. You're sorry now because I'm free and I'm viewed as a monster. But down there you saw me as a creature, an experiment. One life to sacrifice for the good of the people. Don't apologize to me, Asgore. I know what you are and I know you would do it again. I know where you stand and what you value most which is why I had you promise to me as King, because above all else, you value that more than life.” Asgore looked ashamed, head hung low.

“May I ask another question?”

“Just ask, you don't need my permission,” Sans muttered.

“You said this all took place in the labs. Do you mean at the Core?”

“Not your Core.” Sans sat up, resting against the chair. “I mean, the-you don't know about it. It's under the Core.”

“Under?” Grillby asked and Sans nodded, looking more lively as he talked to his guardian.

“The Core has four main floors. You know about those, the electricity and labs and whatnot are all there. Gaster worked below that. He made the Core and built his own private lab.” Sans used his hands a lot as he explained, acting out the different labs and floors.

“How do you get in?” The guardian asked.

“I only focused on getting out,” Sans said with a stiff voice, body rigid. “I don't remember a lot. I was too panicked. I used a lot of magic. There was an elevator and went up to his home. Used too much magic after that, I just took Papyrus and ran.”

“His home? Do you mean the Royal Scientist's home?” Asgore questioned and Sans just shrugged, rubbing at one of his sockets. “That must be the room Tur can't open.”

“What do you mean?” The bartender demanded. “You know about it?”

“Perhaps, there was a room that refused to open when he moved in. He has tried everything to get it open, but it is coded by odd symbols.” The skeleton cringed.

“WingDing.”

“Do you know about it?” Sans nodded, rubbing at his arm. “Can you open the-”

“No!” Grillby spoke before Sans could. “Sans is not allowed near that place or the labs. If you want to do this, you'll do it by yourself. Do not get him involved.”

“Grillby, I understand your apprehension, but I just need to know what the code says. He will not have to-”

“He is not going near that building, Asgore. End of discussion.” Asgore looked desperate.

“Please, old friend. He just-”

“Is it this?” Sans asked, holding up the small napkin he drew on that Asgore gave him with his tea. Asgore leaned closer to read the napkin and nodded.

“Yes, that's it. Do you know the code?” Sans turned over the napkin staring at the lock system that was on all the doors in Gaster's lab. A number lock system in WingDing. Gaster changed the code often and rarely used it, having a card he preferred to use instead.

“It's just numbers, like a regular number lock. I don't know the code, but I can write down the ones I remember him using. He liked using a keycard, though.”

“I see, Tur did not find a keycard at all.” The boss monster said out loud.

“He won't,” Sans whispered, pen scribbling away every password he had memories from his many years of living in the labs. “The doors are sealed by magic, aren't they? If you try to open it you'll get shocked?” The king nodded and Sans hummed, setting down the pen. “A magic attack stronger will break down the doors, but fry the circuit to the elevator. In case the passcode doesn't work just do that. With enough force, you'll get to it.” Sans slid the napkin across the table.

“Thank you,” Asgore said. “I cannot thank you enough for being so cooperative.” Sans appeared to be unimpressed. “And I am sorry, for everything. I will speak to the hospital and ensure Sans gets the treatment he needs.” Asgore told Grillby who just nodded.

“You done questioning?” Sans asked.

“Yes, I think I have done enough damage for today.” The boss monster rose to his feet and Sans hopped off of his chair. Asgore walked them to the door and said goodbye. On the boat ride home, Grillby pulled Sans into a hug, smiling down at him.

“You were very brave today. I'm very proud of you.” Sans blushed and hide his face in Grillby's side. The fire element chuckled. He did not understand how he was necessarily brave or why Grillby would be proud of him, but the praise had him feeling giddy.

“Grillby?” Sans mumbled into the bartender's shirt.

“Yea?” Sans was quiet for a beat, his arms snaking around Grillby's middle.

“...love you.” The fire element felt his core heat up, spark-shooting out of the top of his head, sizzling as they fell in the river. He tightened his hold on his child, flame bright and shining.

“Love you too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I'd like to take this time to let everyone know if I miss an update or anything, I am sorry. If any of you keep up with the news, there are a lot of attacks in Brussels at this moment and my mother lives there along with a few people I know. I spent a good 4-5ish years living in Belgium only an hour away from Brussels, and seeing all these attacks in Brussels and Paris (1 and 2 hours away from my home) is very terrifying considering my family lives and works in areas that could be targeted next. I am just very worried about their safety and if it gets in the way of my writing, please be understanding and considerate. Thank you.
> 
> Felt kinda bad about not updating considering the only thing making this past week any different from any other day of the week was that I had someone in the corner of my room saying either "Hey Keely, check out the post on Tumblr." or "ALEXANDER HAMILTON!" or "Is that another skeleton dick? Keely, come one what the hell is on your dash?" (in my defense, there was an abnormally large amount of UT smut on the dash this week.). But it's great to be back because shit man, the amount of ideas I have been dying to write down...
> 
> I am back and hopefully no more interruptions (for at least a week). Hope all is well and thank you for all those who have been commenting and just, everyone. You are all incredible. As of late, it seems that a lot of fanfic writers have been getting a lot of shit from their 'fans' or whatever and I honestly expect that to happen all the time. A very, very close friend of mine has recently deleted his fic and is gettign death threats and...fuck, that's so not okay. I don't care who you are or how offended you get, don't send that to people. You are disgusting if you do. Although I try my best to keep mine as factual and real TO ME as possible, the fear of me writing about something I don't have personally is a concern of mine. It's why I do so much research because I do not want to make light of any topic I plan on bringing up, especially since they are as sensitive as mental health topics are. Although I personally would never really get offended by these types of people, it does worry me as I delve deeper into the more darker parts that something bad will come of it. But, that is why I am sticking to what I know. If someone has a problem I try to fix it. I read all of the comments and take into consideration what you guys enjoy and don't. Someone you didn't like Grillby cursing so much so I cut back, others didn't understand why I didn't do this or that for certain parts and it does helps me see things in a different light and I change a few things because of that. I am very glad I have yet to recieve any rude readers. The amount of support is overwhelming and amazing and I cannot thank you enough for that. If anyone does have an issue with how I write or is confused at all please tell me. I am keeping this fic is 100% factual as I can possible make it (while also being interesting as well). Please also keep in mind that with topics like mental health, things are different for everyone. Just because these things did not happen to you or that coping method worked for you, does not mean that same for these characters. I guess that's why I prefer sticking to these types of fic, it's often hard to mess them up considering everyone experiences depression and whatnot differently. Blah, I rant. Thank you. Just, thank you.
> 
> Also, I want you guys to let me know what you'd like to know about Sans and Papyrus' past. Of course the obvious of what happened to Gaster will be revealed as well as the black slime, but is there anything else? Hit me up, yo. Tell me what you'd like to know :)!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	28. Disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do excuse the errors, Hannah's laptop's in the shop!
> 
> I am so sorry I forgot to post this adorable [fanart](http://segamew.tumblr.com/post/141075670880/help-him-from-the-awesome-undertale-fanfic#notes) last chapter!!!! Thank you so much!

“Grillby.” Sans whimpered, clutching his middle. “I don't feel good.” The bartender turned around, frowning at Sans' appearance. The skeleton was trembling, his socket's larger and darker than usual. His expression was pained as he stared at the hospital before them.

“We can try again tomorrow, Sans,” Grillby told him and the skeleton just let out a distressed noise.

The two had tried three times now to see a psychologist, but every time Sans had gotten cold feet or made himself sick with stress. The fire element was just thankful the psychologist was understanding. They had even offered to come to the house, but Sans was not having it. He would say that the home was his safe place and that he'd go to the hospital he just needed time.

Sans seemed stable enough on the outside but had become quite moody without Papyrus. He only felt the extreme of emotions or no emotion at all. It was starting to upset the skeleton knowing he was visibly changing in a way he had no control over. He missed feeling just happy and not elated, sad and not depressed, angry and not enraged. Every situation was made ten times worse by the skeleton's uncontrollable emotions. Sans wanted nothing more than to just march into the hospital and settle this once and for all but his brain and panic made him believe that entering the hospital was some sort of death sentence.

“I-I just-I don't-” The skeleton fidgeted nervously, voice small. Sans wanted to enter the building, but the fear of the unknown had him too frightened. Grillby had reassured him countless times and had even told Sans in detail what was going to happen yet the skeleton still was apprehensive. He didn't know if he could handle reliving the moments he tried so desperately to forget.

“It's okay, Sans. We can try again some other time.” Grillby told his child, directing him away from the hospital doors. The skeleton refused to move, clicking his teeth together as he watched the door. His hands began curling and uncurling by his side and the bartender reached down to pick him up. Sans adhered himself to his guardian, face hidden in his shirt.

“Let's go.” He mumbled and Grillby started to walk away, but Sans shook his head. “No, i-in.” The bartender hesitated before he faced the building.

“Just let me know when you want to leave, okay?” The skeleton nodded and the bartender entered the hospital. Grillby knew his way around the hospital pretty well, but he knew the mental ward even better. Taking the elevator up to the second floor, Grillby made his way down the long hallway occasionally nodding or greeting recognizable faces. Sans poked his head up every now and then quickly retreating back to the safety of Grillby's neck whenever he got frightened. The receptionist, a leaf-like monster, looked up and smiled at Grillby as he entered the waiting area.

“Hello, Grillby. Is this the one Kawa is seeing today?” Sans grip tightened and the guardian nodded.

“Yes, he is.” The fire element replied, attempting to soothe the skeleton's nerves.

“I'll let him know you're here! Please have a seat.” She smiled, picking up the phone beside her.

“Thank you, Lee.” Lee just waved and Grillby turned to sit down. Sans looked up to see who Grillby was talking to and flushed when he saw Lee watching him with a friendly smile on her face. “You okay?” The bartender asked his child once he sat down. Sans just moaned, trying to will his nausea away. “This is an easy visit. He's just going to ask questions about what you have been feeling. You can answer those, right? It'll be simple questions, don't worry. I'll be there with you, okay?”

“Okay,” Sans said, taking in a deep breath. “Okay. Okay.” He muttered to himself, hoping to calm his nerves. He began carefully pulling away from his guardian, breathing heavily. “It's okay. It's okay. It's-”

“Sans?” The skeleton squeaked, his progress of detaching himself from the bartender destroyed by the sound of a new voice. Grillby looked up spotting Doctor Kawa looking guilty in the hallway. “Oh dear, I am so very sorry. I did not mean to startle you. Is he alright?” Large, beady, black eyes stared up at Grillby and the fire element found himself feeling oddly calm. The doctor was adorable. He was no taller than Sans and quite thin. His body was covered in a short, white fur that looked so soft and heavenly. His voice was high pitched but still masculine, sounding more like a young boy than an adult monster.

“He's just nervous,” Grillby told Kawa, hoping he wasn't noticeable staring.

“Oh, I see. We can reschedule. I'm booked tomorrow, but I do think I am available in the afternoon Thurs-” Sans let out a loud whine shaking his head. “Oh, is Thursday a bad day? I'm sorry, I can try Friday.”

“No, he just-today is fine. Please,” Grillby held out his hand, motioning for the doctor to lead them to the room. Kawa led them to his office just off the waiting room and gestured to the two chairs. The bartender took a seat, rubbing his son's back as Kawa made his way around, collecting a clipboard and file.

“Alright, let's see.” Kawa paused to look back up at Sans. “Are you sure he's okay? I really don't want to force him into this.”

“Sans? Kiddo, you can hold onto me, but I'm going to need you to at least ease up a little.” The skeleton squeezed his sockets shut, pulling away an inch only so he could turn his head enough to see the doctor. A single socket opened just a fraction of an inch before both eyes were opened. His once fearful expression morphing into a look of total confusion. The pupils took in the doctor's beady eyes, red nose, rosy cheeks, and soft body. This was a doctor? He looked like a stuffed animal. He oozed a comforting aura Sans could not put his finger on.

“Hello, Sans.” The skeleton leaned away from his guardian, head cocking to the side, narrow sockets darting between his guardian and doctor. Kawa offered the child a bright smile and Sans found himself detaching completely from Grillby. The bartender watching in amazement as Sans faced the doctor with no fear. But in the skeleton's defense, he felt no reason to fear him. Kawa radiated nothing but joy and warmth, posing as no threat or a force to be afraid of. Sans couldn't be afraid of him if he tried. Sans wanted to cuddle him. The skeleton extended his hand, hoping to pet the soft fur.

“Uh, Sans I don't think-” Before Grillby could finish his sentence, the doctor leaned forward and allowed Sans to pet his head. Sans gasped, sockets shining.

“Grillby!” He whispered, face mimicking the look of pure joy. “Grill-Pops! Hey! He's so soft!” Kawa giggled and slowly began to pull away.

“Er-I'm sorry?” The bartender apologized in a confused tone. The doctor just chuckled, shaking his head.

“It's quite alright. It helps the children feel better, right Sans?” The skeleton nodded, holding the hand that seemed to tingle after touching the fur. “I can properly introduce myself now.” Kawa offered a hand that Sans grabbed immediately. “My name is Doctor Kawa. I will be your psychiatrist as long as you want me to be! Would you like to introduce yourself?”

“Sans!” The child practically shouted, clinging to the hand. “Sans! My name is Sans!”

“It's so very wonderful to meet you, Sans. Do you know what my job is?”

“No. Can I continue to hold your hand?” Sans questioned and Kawa laughed.

“For now, you can. My job today is to help you find a name to how you are feeling and help select a good therapist for you to go to.” Sans frowned.

“Can't I just talk to you?”

“You can if you want, but I work more with medication and the boring part of this process. A therapist is better suited to help you understand and cope with your feelings. Once you find your therapist, I will have a chat with them and decide what is best for you. I am your personal representative here. No one is allowed to diagnose or prescribe you anything without my permission! It's my job to make sure I give you the best treatment possible. Does that sound okay with you?” Sans agreed and Kawa took his hand away with a guilty expression when the skeleton whined. “I will be your personal psychiatrist and have spoken to the king about your situation. He has allowed me to help you with Grillby's permission of course. But, if you would like to see someone else all you have to do is ask.”

“No! I like you!” Sans blurted and Kawa smiled. Sans could not describe it, but Kawa felt like some living stuffed animal. He gave off such a happy and soothing feeling that the skeleton desperately tried to absorb.

“I like you too Sans! I'm happy you are allowing me to help you. Unfortunately, I need to start asking a few questions now. They will only be about the packet and how you are feeling today, alright? I just need you to answer me honestly and to the best of your ability. Does that sound alright with you?”

“Yeah.” Sans complied.

“Wonderful! I'm going to start off with some simple ones, okay? Do you know what depression is Sans?” The skeleton nodded. “Good, have you ever felt depressed before?” Another nod. “Do you feel depressed right now?” There was a pause before Sans bobbed his head. “Have you been feeling depressed for a while?”The skeleton shrugged. “Can you remember the first time you felt depressed?” Sans inhaled slowly, teeth lightly clicking together as he thought.

Sans didn't know what depression was before he met Grillby. In the past, he just always thought he was sad. Gaster had tossed the word around, but never explained what it was. He wasn't sure exactly when he first felt depressed. He supposed he always felt it, but Sans also felt as if he really noticed himself becoming visible more miserable was when Papyrus was four. The age where Papyrus started to become more aware. They had only begun sharing a room for a year or so. Papyrus was smart, though, he knew what was happening. He didn't like seeing his brother hurt and didn't like Gaster's experiments and trials. It was at seven that Sans had realized what he was becoming. Killing without mercy, obeying without questions, a slave. He revolted, but it resulted in Papyrus' harm and Sans had come to terms that day of who he really was. He was an object. He'd be an object, he'd be whatever Gaster wanted as long as his brother was safe.

“When I was seven,” Sans answered.

“Did the depression ever go away?” Had it? Sans always felt like it didn't. He felt happy with Grillby and there were moments when he did feel normal, but not anymore. The imprinted behavior that was drilled into him was always there. His happiness never lasted long.

“No.” 

“That's alright, Sans. Some monsters just feel depressed, it's perfectly normal.” Sans wanted to tell Kawa that nothing about his depression was normal but he decided against it. “Sans, do you know what suicide means? To be suicidal?” Grillby took in a sharp inhale as his child ground his teeth together softly, expression troubled.

“Yes.”

“Have you ever felt that way? Is there every a time that you wanted to hurt yourself or even attempted to?” The skeleton stared down at the ground as he felt his guardian's body temperature drop.

“...Yes.”

“Yes to both of them?”

“No.”

“Just the first part?”

“Yes.” Grillby tried his best to remain calm and steady, not wanting to ruin Sans' meeting by his emotions. Still, it was hard for him to hear his child admitting to these things. The thought made his soul ache.

“So you still feel that way?”

“No, not really. I-sometimes, but not-not a lot. Not like before.” Sans curled up in Grillby's lap, looking close to tears. Grillby gently rubbed his shoulder and the skeleton took in a deep breath. “Not like before.” He repeated, leaning into Grillby's touch.

“That's very good, Sans. Do you think you would ever act on those thoughts?”

“No.”

“Good, very good. That is wonderful. Have you ever before? Is there ever a time where you tried to commit suicide or self-harmed?”

“No.”

“That's very good, Sans.” Kawa rested a hand on the child's knee and Sans looked up. “It takes a lot of strength to not fall victim to those types of feelings. You are very strong. Is there something that prevented you from doing those things?” Sans sniffed, bobbing his head. His soul pulsed as tingling sensation in his knee grew.

“Papyrus. I didn't-I didn't want to. I don't want to. He'd be alone and sad. I don't want to do that. _I_ don't. I-I don't want to-to die.” Sans feared death, he truly did. Even though it seemed like an easy way out, and the best solution to ridding himself from everyone's lives, he wasn't sure if he could ever commit suicide without the influence of his insanity. Sans liked life and he enjoyed living. Being able to see the world outside the Labs was a dream Sans had never thought would come true.

“Of course, you don't. Feeling like that isn't fun, right? You don't want to be depressed or unhappy. You don't like feeling this way, do you?” Sans shook his head, wiping at the moisture that formed in his sockets.

“N-No. I don't.”

“I know you don't. We all know, Sans. That's why I am going to help you. I know it's not fun feeling like this. It hurts, doesn't it? Sometimes it's even scary and you can feel very alone. Maybe you even tell yourself you are better off alone or that you maybe are a burden on other people.” Kawa said and Sans let out a quiet sob.

“Y-Yea,” Sans whispered voice cracking.

“Do you tell yourself these things? You marked on the packet that you heard voices. Do they tell you bad things?”

“Yea. They a-are mean. They insult-t people and-and make fun of m-me and s-say a-awful-l stuff.”

“But you know they aren't right, don't you? When we are alone we can think some really awful thoughts, but they aren't true. Sometimes you can even feel alone all the time, but you aren't Sans. You know that, right? You have your father don't you?” Sans nodded, and Grillby lightly squeezed his child's middle. “You have Papyrus too, right?”

“Uh-h-huh.”

“Can you think of anyone else?”

“B-Bonnie cares-s a lot. 'N-N F-Fiora and Sul-lfie and-and-” The skeleton let out louder sob and Kawa squeezed his knee once more.

“I care Sans. I care a whole lot. I bet a lot of people do, but sometimes it's hard for us to see that. The people of Snowdin are so friendly and care about each other a lot. There may be a few yellow snowballs out there and the town loves to gossip, but everyone is there for each other. Even if you don't want to talk to them or don't trust them, just remembering that someone out there really cares about you is enough sometimes.” Sans furiously rubbed at his face, agreeing with the doctor. “I have a few more questions I'd like to ask, but if you want to stop we can. Would you like to talk about something else?” Sans denied the offer, pulling his hands away from his face.

“C-Can I hold your hand?” He asked in hopes of the warm and comforting feeling intensifying as he held the doctor more.

“Of course, you can.” Kawa stood up and sat back down next to Grillby in the other available chair. Sans reached out and took hold of his arm, holding it like a stuffed animal. “Good thing I'm left handed.” The doctor joked, well aware he was not getting his hand or arm back anytime soon. “Would you like to continue?”

“Yea.” Sans agreed, his soul feeling light and stable.

“Just let us know when you'd like to stop alright?” Kawa stole a glance at his notes before continuing his interrogation. “Do you hear multiple voices?”

“Three.”

“Are they recognizable to you?”

“Kinda, the first one is. The others aren't.”

“The one you recognize, do you know them as a friend? Is it someone who hurt you?” Sans shivered, squeezing the doctor's arm, absorbing the energy it radiated.

“He hurt me a lot.”

“We'll I'm going to make sure all of them go away for good. Just a few more questions. You are doing very well, Sans. How long have you heard these voices?”

“I don't know, couple months maybe. I heard the first one a lot before, but the other two are new. Like, this month new.”

“You also said that you have hallucinated visually as well. Do these voices sometimes appear to have bodies?” Sans shook his head.

“No, just during attacks I forget where I am. I don't-I'm not here, I-” Sans looked up at Grillby for guidance.

“His perception of reality gets warped. He has a hard time distinguishing his surroundings when he get's upset.” The guardian spoke for his child who nodded along.

“I see, okay then. Well, why don't we take a break for a minute, yeah? I can talk to you two about the therapist situation. Give you some time to breathe, does that sound okay?” Kawa asked waiting for the two to agree before he went on. “Due to Sans' issues being connected with private information, the therapists cannot all be informed about Sans' situation. Only the one Sans chooses will be briefed on the case. So when you are looking for your therapist of choice, your meetings will be very basic and simple. It will mostly be very easy and calm exercises trying to get Sans and the therapist to know each other. This could take a few visits or a few weeks, it all depends on how Sans feels. You want to know them first, right Sans?”

“Yea.”

“This will also make it easier at first for you as well. You do not have to worry about jumping into this right away and expecting very personal questions. It will be gradual and smooth so you can grow accustomed to it. It can be pretty scary telling people your secrets, huh?”

“Yea, it's scary.” Kawa offered the skeleton an empathetic smile.

“That's why you don't have to worry about that. You'll be able to talk about fun stuff that you like for a bit. What do you like talking about the most?” The psychologist asked, trying to make the skeleton more comfortable.

“Papyrus!” Sans blurted and Kawa giggled.

“What about Papyrus do you like the most?”

“Everything!”

“How does he make you feel?”

“Loved and safe and happy! Very, very happy.”

“See? Talking about stuff isn't so bad. It can be a lot of fun, right?” Sans agreed and Kawa discussed the topic of the therapist for a few moments longer before returning to Sans' mental health. The skeleton was a lot more calm answering them and Kawa continued to praise him which made Sans ecstatic. After discussing his emotions and stability for a while the three were now just chatting in hopes of getting Sans more comfortable and on board with the recovery process as possible. Grillby was absolutely amazed at how relaxed and childish Sans was acting in front of the doctor. He almost found it bizarre and uncomfortable in a way, it was as if his child was under some spell.

“I've never seen him this comfortable around someone, not at first at least. I'm really perplexed. Is it part of your magic or treatment of some kind?” The skeleton was acting like a cat with catnip. He held onto Kawa's arm, nuzzling it and acting like it was some childhood blanket instead of a person's limb.

“I guess both, but usually, it's never like this. My magic and body aura change to counteract my patients. Every soul, magic, and creature have different strength and properties that they feel stronger or weaker for. Skeletons are always more challenging due to the lack of connection between the magic and soul, but it appears my body has no trouble finding a match. Usually, it just provides more of a warm and homelike feeling. The average enjoyment you get from being in an environment you feel comfortable in. I don't think I have ever seen it be this intense before, it's very fascinating if I'm honest. Monster magic, soul, or anything really doesn't tend to normally gravity this strongly to anything. I can't exactly tell what it is I am giving off, but golly, whatever energy it is must have an overwhelming effect on him.” Grillby thought about what it could be for only a second. There was only one thing in the entire Underground that Sans clung and loved as much as this and that was Papyrus.

“His brother.” Sans gasped, his hold on the doctor's arm tightening.

“Papyrus!” The skeleton shouted, grinning. That's why he felt so warm and safe. Papyrus and Sans were made for each other. Their souls and magic reacted to only each other's soul and magic like this. The doctor had managed to mimic that feeling so perfectly.

“Oh, is that who I remind you of?” Sans nodded, looking pleased.

“He only acts like that around him,” Grillby informed Kawa, feeling a little envious of the look of utter bliss Sans had. Grillby too felt calm around Kawa, but not even close to how Sans felt. “The two are pretty inseparable. Nothing else seems to calm Sans down except his brother.”

“Hmm, that is very interesting. Usually, siblings have similar structures and wouldn't give off this type of energy.” The psychologist stated, appearing lost in thought.

“We were made for each other,” Sans said, and Kawa looked perplexed while Grillby remained expressionless. The doctor was about to question the skeleton when he glanced up at the clock.

“Oh dear, it seems our time is almost up. I'm sorry Sans, but I'm going to need my arm back.” Sans reluctantly let go and Kawa looked generally heartbroken about taking his arm away. “You have been very helpful today,” Sans smiled bashfully and Kawa directed his attention to Grillby. “I can recommend a few therapists to try out first, but in the end, it's Sans decision. We have two therapists we recommend here for cases like Sans but anyone is available and willing to help. Would you like me to schedule an appointment with them?”

“Can you tell me about them first? I'd rather not make an appointment if I know Sans won't like them.”

“Oh of course! There is Doctor Clow who can be rather difficult to get adjusted to at first, but those who stick with her show positive results. The other one is Doctor Gunk. He is more on the sensitive side of things. I'm not too sure what Sans would feel more comfortable with so I am a bit lost when it comes to directing him to the right options. We do have a variety of options to choose from, though. I'm certain we will find someone San can open up to, right?” Kawa beamed down and the skeleton who appeared a bit hesitant but nodded. “And again, due to the situation, these visits will be more of a trial than anything else. It will just be introductions and basic questions before you have decided on who'd you like to see. Then, they will be briefed on Sans' full case and the process can begin!” Kawa scribbled a few things down on his clipboard before standing up.

“Sadly, I can't pinpoint exactly the big cause of all this is. Psychological cases like this are very sensitive and without a proper evaluation can be mistreated and incorrectly diagnosed. Even once I do narrow it down, I've looked over Ellen's medical report and am wary of starting him on any medication right away. It may be rough at first, but in order to keep Sans healthy and safe, we will need to take this very slowly. There isn't a whole lot I can do right now, but I will try my best to narrow it down as much as possible so I can resolve this as quickly as I can. Do either of you two have any questions?” The bartender glanced at his son who shook his head.

“No, I think we are good. Thank you very much.” Kawa just grinned, rosy cheeks seeming to darken.

“Oh, it is no problem at all! I'm happy to help! I can't wait to see you again Sans. It was so lovely getting to meet you. I will have Lee call you once I've scheduled the appointment. Until then, do take care. Remember Sans, stay positive. Your family cares about you a lot and will always be with you, right?” Grillby reached down to pick his child up, resting him on his hip.

“Right.” The bartender said. Sans smiled, burying his face in the crook of Grillby's neck.

“Right.” They said their goodbyes and picked Papyrus up from Bonnie's. Sans told his brother all about the visit and Papyrus was very envious he did not get to meet this magical duplicate of himself. The elder skeleton promised his brother, he'd bring him along next time and Grillby was curious to see how Papyrus would react. Although the younger skeleton was not nearly as reliant on his brother, he did care more than the usual amount. The bartender feared Kawa would be crushed between the two skeletons' loving embraces.

Grillby received a call a few days later informing him of Sans' appointments. The first one was with Doctor Gunk tomorrow and Doctor Clow was the following day. Sans was very excited to meet them and the flame element tried his best to be optimistic. His experiences with previous therapists had made him very skeptical. All it took was one bad therapist to turn Sans off on the entire help idea completely and Grillby was all too aware of this. He wished he could meet with them privately at first, but his opinion wasn't Sans'. Maybe Sans would enjoy a more harsher therapist or maybe he'd enjoy one that babying him. Grillby just needed to be careful and observant. The moment the meeting went wrong he'd leave before Sans could react.

Grillby had an internal battle the day of Sans' first appointment. Sans wanted Papyrus to stay home with Bonnie but the bartender secretly wanted the younger skeleton to tag along in case something bad happened with the meetup. In the end, Sans comfort won and the two went alone. Papyrus was not pleased with this but agreed anyways to make his brother happy. Fortunately, his magical skills were not needed. That does not mean that the meeting went well, in fact, it was the opposite. Doctor Gunk was a gelatinous monster with a soft voice. He spoke to Sans as if he was about to have an attack and it made the skeleton very uncomfortable.

He was a large monster that intimidated Sans. When Sans heard his gentle tone he thought it would be better, but his hesitation just turning into annoyance. Everything was followed up with a question. Sans couldn't just be happy there had to be a reason for it. Sans couldn't reply with just no, there had to be a reason for that no. Sans had never thought too much into why he felt the way he did, but he was almost certain he wasn't supposed to either. Emotions were just feelings. Sometimes Sans could place a reason to them, but if he woke up one morning happy without no reason he wouldn't question it. Apparently, this therapist thought differently.

“What is your happy place, Sans? Someplace you can always escape to when you feel stressed.” They hadn't even been in the room for twenty minutes and Sans was already prepared to flee. It had felt like an eternity, but Gunk was very insistent on them spending at least half and hour together to ensure Sans' feelings about him. Grillby had protested, but Sans had said he'd try to make it that long. He wasn't crying or overly emotional because of the therapist. He just really wanted to tell him to shut up.

“Can it be a person? I say, my brother. He makes me happy.” The topic of his brother made Sans' sour mood lighten.

“Why exactly does he make you feel happy?”

“He just makes me feel safe and warm.” Gunk nodded slowly.

“I see, I see. Why do you two get along so well?” Sans bit back a groan.

“We're brothers?” Sans replied in a questioning tone. He never knew how to answers these. What response did they want? Did they want what Sans believed or what Gaster had told him? The skeleton hated questions.

“Yes, yes, siblings can be very close. Why-” Sans let out a groan. After three more 'why' questions Grillby, as politely as possible, informed the therapist they had to leave and took his child and left.

“Are they all like that?” Sans asked and Grillby shook his head.

“No, just the bad ones.”

Sans did not feel nearly as excited as he once had during the next meeting. He had expected these therapists to be like Kawa, but no one seemed to compete with him. Maybe Sans was being a bit unfair, no one could compete with a second Papyrus. He had hopes that Doctor Clow would be nicer or at the very least more entertaining. Sans still wanted to get help and find that special therapist, but only after one try he was feeling discouraged. Gunk had been so boring and annoying that the skeleton couldn't feel the same excitement he once had as he waiting to be called. Grillby had tried to make the last meeting more positive by saying they were narrowing down the personality Sans liked and the skeleton assumed he was correct. They were narrowing it down, but how many more incorrect matches could Sans take before he gave up?

“Sans?” The skeleton looked up at the monster that called him and felt more hopeful. She looked nicer at least, appearing to be a cloud of some kind. Her tone was flat and she didn't smile as much as the other doctors did, but maybe she would be better.

They were lead into her office and Sans took a seat next to his guardian. Clow introduced herself and informed them of her practice and years of experience, none of which Sans really called about. He couldn't muster the effort to be interested in her degrees, he just wanted her to be nice. The skeleton had expected some connection to form the instant he saw the therapist but felt nothing. She gave off no soothing feeling like Kawa or not even a friendly one like the monsters on the streets. If Sans had to describe what he felt, he'd say the therapist was unimpressed.

“Sans, you have gotten panic attacks before, correct?”

“Y-Yea?” Sans mumbled, visibly uncomfortable with the therapists dull voice.

“How do you react during these attacks? Do you cry or get upset?”

“Um, both? I get sad and angry something?”

“Would you say you get violent when you're angry?” Sans took in a sharp inhale, pupils darting around nervously.

“Um, no? M-Maybe? N-Not often?” The skeleton couldn't form a statement. He was unable to answer honestly and everything sounded like a question, like he was waiting to be told he was correct.

“Have you ever hurt someone due to anger?” Grillby straightened his back, ready to intervene.

“Um-I-Yes?” His boney fingers dug into his jacket.

“Why?” Why? He-he was upset? He was angry? He wasn't aware of himself? What response did she want? Why couldn't Sans please her? Why wouldn't she smile? What was he doing wrong? He was taking too long to respond. He needed an answer, but which one?

“I...was upset?” Upon seeing no change in her demeanor Sans shrunk in on himself. Bad answer.

“Do you feel powerful hurting others?” No? Yes? Respond! Too long!

“I, uh-no. Um, yes? I-I'm uh, good at it?” Clow's face twitched and Sans grip tightened. She liked the answer. Sans had gotten a reaction!

“What do you mean by that? Tell me why you think that way.” Sans whimpered, pupils large but faded. Did he mess up? Why did she command him? What had he done wrong? He thought he was doing well, he saw her react. Why did she sound more upset? Couldn't she see he was uncomfortable? Did she like seeing him this way? Did she enjoy bossing him around?

“Sans isn't comfortable answering that,” Grillby spoke for his child and the skeleton trembled in his chair. He wasn't comfortable. Grillby was speaking for him. But Clow, she sounded so cold, so demanding.

“Is that true, Sans?” She didn't even sound like she was asking a question. It was as if she was commanding Sans like she knew he'd obey. She was using that tone Gaster used when he asked rhetorical questions. They didn't want his opinion, they just wanted him to agree.

“I-It's okay,” Sans mumbled, feeling the need to please the therapist.

“Please answer my question then.”

 **“What are you, 01** **S** **?** **”**

“I'm a weapon, I hurt people,” Sans muttered answering the voice.

“I think it is best to change the topic. Sans is very uncomfortable with it.” Grillby insisted, trying to give the therapist a chance before he stormed off.

“Sir, please. Progress is painful. Sans, why do you think that way?”

 _**“** _ _**Say something, you idiot.”** _

“H-He-I-Ngh, I don't like-” Stop talking! Stop thinking! Calm down. Breath.

“Sans really doesn't want to talk about it.” Grillby pressed, agitated with the therapists' persistence. “I do not think you are suitable for him. It's best if we leave.”

“Sir, you cannot constantly baby him. The process of recovery is very uncomfortable and painful, but you have to embrace that. He has to learn how to talk about these issues, regardless of how he feels or else he never will.” The flame scowled, his color darkening to a burnt orange that flickered in anger.

“I understand that, but Sans had a history of being rather violent and prone to panic attack. I do not want my child upset or in distress. This is supposed to be a very easy and simple introductory meeting, but you are starting to upset him and I do not want you to-”

“Grillby, Sir, have you not seen his soul readings? I have looked over his medical reports. Sans is not a threat, his max attack is one. I am trying to understand why your child thinks he is some weapon when he isn't.” The doctor stared with a rather bored expression and Sans felt his fingers begin to curl into tight fists. She wasn't supposed to be talking about this. They promised him it would be easy and fun. He wasn't ready to talk about Gaster. He didn't want to. He couldn't. “I'm unaware of where you got this idea of Sans being some big threat, but it is simply not true. This idea he had planted inside of your head of him being a creature to fear or weapon is simply all in his head. You cannot keep feeding that unhealthy thought.” Grillby frowned, body tensing up. Sans was watching her with empty sockets.

 

~*~

 

_Sans was panting, barely able to stand as Gaster entered the room. The scientist walked over to the dummy on the ground and examined it, taking notes. Sans felt so much hatred and rage bottled up inside of him. He wanted this to stop. He wanted to hurt Gaster, to kill him. Everything hurt. His body was sore from the overdose, his soul ached with the thought of his brother being hurt, he as so tired. He was fed up. He was strong. Gaster had spent all this time preparing Sans and making him into a machine. Sans could hurt him. Sans could use his power to hurt Gaster! Without moving his hands, a blast had formed behind him and took aim at the scientist._

_“ **Attack is the same as the health. There has to-** ” Sans fired his blaster at him. Due to his exhaustion and lack of strength, the attack hardly did any damage and did not last as long as Sans would have liked. The skeleton felt smug, but when the light vanished with his attack Gaster stood before him unharmed. His eyes were narrow face contorted in a look of anger and thought. The doctor faced away from the dummy, using his magic to allow his clipboard to hover beside him as he approached the skeleton. Sans whimpered loudly, cowering away. _

_Mistake. This was a mistake. What was he thinking?! He couldn't kill him! How could he have been so stupid?!_

_“Do you wish to fight me, S?” Sans was unable to respond. The scientist continued to tower over the frightened experiment, but the irritation he felt morphed into mild amusement. “At first, I thought you were an idiot or perhaps have given up and attacked me in hopes of me terminating your existence. But maybe you are not as foolish as you seem.” Sans lifted his head slightly, terrified of the repercussion for his actions. “A weapon must be trained in all fields after all. **Take note.** ” The magic around the clipboard morphed into two hands one holding the work as the other wrote. “ **Physical training on 01S. Attacks in need of strengthening. After DT incident, soul and stats have been unable to recover.** **I must** **f** **ind** **a** **way to** **restore** **that power.** **All options are available.** **Test one, combat.** **Attacking unthreatening object** **had no effect** **.** **Stronger** **target to be tested now. Opponent, me. Trial begin.** ” Gaster flicked his hand and Sans was knocked onto his back with a yelp. “ **Fight,** ” Gaster ordered his inky magic lashing out once more. Sans barely avoided the attack. “Attack 01S. Attack me, now.” With a yell, the skeleton charged the scientist, but Gaster brushed him aside with a black tendril. “ **Take note. Halt all tests. New objective, combat defense and offense. 01S is unable to** **strategize** **a plan, defend against moving object, and attack stronger opponent. Observe effects of DT while subject is continuing the trial, lower the dosage if need be, but do not stop.** ” Gaster stepped aside as Sans launched a large femur at him. _

_The one-sided fight continued for a few minutes before Sans was too exhausted to fight back. He lay on the ground, panting heavily as Gaster peered down at him in disappointment. The scientist knocked him around a few more times to ensure all his energy was drained before he faced away from him._

_“ **Subject continuing to surpass initial stages of exhaustion. Can be worked to the point of unconsciousness without death. Motivational influences might speed up the-** ” Sans screamed as he ran at the scientist and pulled out his soul. Gaster looked surprised and remained unmoving as Sans first a blaster at him. The skeleton collapsed on the floor halfway through that attack and Gaster watched his own health in fascination. His stats turned pink depleting him two points of extra damage before returning to their yellow color. He clasped his hands together, eyes locked on the unconscious skeleton._

_“Oh, Sans,” Gaster grinned as a few dark chuckled escaped him. The menacing smile grew as he watched his experiment twitch. “I designed you perfectly.”_

 

_~*~_

 

 ****He passed every test. He worked to keep himself and Papyrus alive. Sans was a force to be reckoned with. Sans was a threat. He could prove it. He would prove it. He had trained for this. He was proud of this. All his hard work, all the hours he spent being abused and beaten repeatedly until he could no longer move! She knew nothing. She knew nothing of Gaster and his training. She knew nothing of the countless attacks and broken bones Sans dealt with. She mocked his pain, his fear, she thought this was all in is head? Sans could show her, he would.

“You have no idea what you are talking about. You do not know my child! You-” Grillby was cut off once more and he was starting to lose his temper.

“I know this, Sans is not a threat to anyone. He couldn't hurt anyone even if he wanted to.” Sans socket's narrowed, his anxiety turning into rage. “He is a weak monster and needs to realize that. He's built up some very high ego that is simply not true. It's unhealthy and a cry for attention. He is manipulating you and everyone else. This behavior can lead to abusive tendencies as he get's older. You need to see that Sans is not a threat.” The skeleton teeth began to ache at how much force he used to keep his mouth shut.

“Shut up,” Sans growled, but the doctor did not look afraid.

“Sans, you need to admit this to yourself. You are not a threat and never will be.” Clow looked so confident. He wanted nothing more than to prove her wrong. Sans hated confidence, it reminded him of Gaster. He was so cocky and vain, but Sans proved him wrong.

“I don't think you need to say that to him,” Grillby said, tone aggressive. “I believe we should leave. Sans?” The skeleton did not respond. His attention was only on his target.

“I am a doctor, sir. I understand you have a history of dealing with mental health struggles, but please do not think that your knowledge is better than mine.” Clow told the bartender in an arrogant voice.

“Don't talk to him like that.” Sans snarled.

“We just need to let him vent and realize how weak he is.”

“I could dust you in seconds.” Sans glared, pupils vanishing.

 **“** **Cha̶llen҉g̷è he͢r!͞ Dest́or̢y̨ h͢e͡r͞! H̵ùrt h͝ȩr̴!̡ ̷D̢o͡ ̨it̸, San̴s̨ỳ!̨ D́O͢ I̸T!”**

_**“** _ _**He won't. Too pathetic.”** _

“No, you could not.” Sans stood up, staring harshly at the doctor who remained still. “You are not a weapon, Sans. I will not believe your lies. You do not have to lie to yourself like this.”

Lie?! Sans was a weapon! He is one. Sans is a weapon! She was challenging him! Taunting him! He had to attack. He wanted to attack. He needed to attack. Too many voices were around him. He was unable to listen and obey them all, but the ones in his head influenced him to most, using his emotional state against him.

  _ **“**_ _ **You are so pitiful. Do you just let everyone step all over you?”**_

 _**“** _ **S̸he too̡k͏ the ̢b̧ai̢t!͠ Sh͏e͝'s̕ be͢gg͏ìng҉ ͘f͠o͠r i̸t!”**

“Sans, please calm down. Look at me, Sans.”

“Sir, do not stop him. Let him vent.” Sans focused on the therapist's voice. Let him. She wanted him to. So he would.

 **“** **She ͠sa̸íd̷ t͡o! ̸She̡ ̀àsked!̨ Do it!̸ ̧** **”**

_**“** _ _**You even have permission yet you still hesitate. How sad. Are you going to stand there like an idiot when Papyrus get's hurt?”** _

**“C̀ours͠e͠ no̶t! Hè'd̵ ̕b̢e t͡h͞e̛ on͢e̕ h̵ur҉t̶i͠ng͢ ̶him̕ af̶te͝r̸ a͠ll͞. Sans͘y̶ is҉ ͠s͞o gre̵at at ̴ki̧l͟liǹg,̕ hur̵t̨iņg, ̸br̡ea̛ki̴n̶ǵ.̸ ̶B̨r҉e̕ak her̡.̀”** The second voice cackle echoed inside his skull. **“Yǫu li̧k̀e ̵t͞a̷king̢ ͘or̛d͟e̷r͏s̀ r͟igh̴t̨,̶ ͠S̴an҉sy͡?҉̧H͘e͞r̕e'̡s one͝,̸ ͝K I̶ ̵L̷ L H̀ E R! Pl͟ea̷s̀e͞ m҉e! I̶'m̨ ͢yơur̨ ͜f̷rie͘n͟d̷, ri͡ģht?͘ Fri͟e̛n͞d͝ ch̷e̡er͢ ͘eac͟h͝ ot͞he̕r͞ up ͞and ͘rig̴ht̡ ͜now I̡'̀m ͜p͝rętt̢y ͏u͜ps͞et́.̢ ̷B̀ut́ if ýou̡ ҉hur͞t he҉r̡,͡ ͞I'll̛ be s̢ǫ h͟a̕p͝py. ̡You li̢ke m̵e bei̛ng̸ ͢ha̶pp̢y͝ ̡d͏o҉n't̸ yoų?̵ Yo҉u͜ k͡no̡w ̶w͠h̛at ̡h͘a̵ppen͠s͏ w҉h͜en͏ I'm no͞t͢,̀ ͝rig̡h͜t?͢ I͝ ̧h̕ave̴ ͟to̸ go͞ ge̷t ̷Gast͏e̷r̕.̷ Aņd ͡b̨oy,̧ t̡h̶at'̸s ҉n҉o̧ţ ҉fun. ̧Be̢ a ͝p͡a͏l͠, Sa̛ns҉y. ҉Hur̨t h҉er ҉fo҉ŕ ̡lit͜t̵le҉ o͘l͠d ͠me.҉ If̡ yo͘u ̀d̵on͏'̢t̕,̛ I̶'͏lĺ ge͞t́ s͟o͝m̧e̴o͠n̷e̡ ̀who̡ ̸ẃill.̵”**

Sans face went blank and emotionless, mind clear and empty except the one thought that rang out in his mind. Attack. Sans hand twitched at his side before his head snapped up socket blazing. Still, the therapist looked unimpressed. She was mocking him. She really didn't think Sans could kill her. Did she really didn't think that he was powerful enough to pull out her soul and stomp it into nothing?

 _**“** _ _**Maybe she's right, you pathetic sack of bones. You are weak. Old Sansy has lost his fight. Pathetic.”** _

“Shut up,” Sans mumbled and Grillby watched his son carefully.

 _**“Pathetic. Useless. Ugly. You are a failure, Sans! FAILURE! EXPERIMENT FAILED! You** _ _**puny**_ _**,**_ ****_**little sack of bones. You want to prove yourself? Kill her. Make her scream. Make her cry. Make her suffer. Don't be a wimp. Do it.”** _

He'd do it.

_**“DO IT!”** _

**“** **D͡O͆̒͂́ ̨ͩͪ̔͂͂̚Iͧ̉̓ͫ͑͌͠Tͥ͒̌͆ͯ͌͆̀!ͣ͂͢”**

He'd show her. He'd show them. He'd watch her form convulse as he ripped her soul to shreds. He'd smile as her shrieks filled the air. He'd laugh as her body faded away into a pile of dust. He'd kill her. He'd make her understand how much of a threat he really was.

Sans' hand shot forward and the doctor was sent flying into the wall behind her. No damage but this was a warning. Grillby reached out to grab Sans but the child teleported onto the doctor's desk, his shadow looming over hers as he pulled out her soul.

“Are you afraid?” He asked.

“No.” The doctor replied and Sans smirked.

“Good.” Four large femurs formed in the air behind him pointed at the doctor. “I'll make you.” Sans launched the bones at the doctor and she stood still and took the hit. A big mistake. She expected four points of damage, but instead she received twenty. She cried out at the pain as she watched her health slowly deplete. 

“Sans, don't!” Grillby begged, trying to get to him, but once again, Sans blinked away, this time right in front of the doctor who was panting on the ground. “Sans!” The element shouted, advancing forward, but Sans summoned a wall of bones and held them up blocking the passageway.

“Are you afraid?” Sans asked again, but he didn't need a response. Her pupils were pinpricks, entire body trembling with fear. She had nothing more than ten health left, but Sans wasn't even close to being done. He wanted to play a nice little game of cat and mouse. He wanted to chase after the doctor as she ran, screaming and begging for the help that would never come. He wanted to destroy her body, leaving her at the edge of consciousness before he'd blast her away. Memory after memory played in his head offering him new creative ideas and ways to hurt the therapist.

“Are you,” Sans raised his hand and a jagged bone manifesting in his hand, “afraid?” Sans leaned forward, inches away from the doctor. “Do you still think I'm weak? Do you still think I'm not a threat?” Sans reached out, gently tapping against the doctor's soul with the tip of the bone. “Answer me, are you afraid?”

“Y-Yes.” Sans chuckled, pupils vanishing from his from his eyes.

“Good.” The skeleton brought his arm back, the other limb abandoned the wall to reach out for the therapist's soul. “I'm going to kill you,” Sans whispered and the doctor's soul darkened in color. “It's going to hurt and I am going to enjoy watching you scream as I slowly drain every little inch of your health away.” Sans took a step back, cyan eye returning. Grillby rushed forward and yank the skeleton away from the terrified doctor. The attack vanished and Sans growled, pushing against the unnaturally warm person.

“Sans.” Sans pupils returned as he scowled at Grillby. “Can you hear me, Sans?”

“What are you doing?” The skeleton cried, pushing again the fire element's chest.

“Answer my questions, kiddo, please. Can you hear me?” Sans whined, clawing at the constricting force on his arm.

“Yes.”

“What is my name?” The skeleton growled, tugging his hand, his mind too fogged by rage to think straight. “Sans, I need you to answer me. What is my name?” Sans moaned, trying to pry Grillby's hand away.

“I don't-Stop! Let go!” Unable to pull his hand away, Sans stopped squirming and stared at Grillby. “Ngh-You're Grillby. Your name is Grillby.” The skeleton's rage was melting away, but his annoyance was still prevalent.

“And what is your name?”

“Sans.”

“Where are we?”

“The hospital.” Grillby relaxed and let go of Sans' hand, but still had an arm wrapped around his waist. His child pouted, but allowed the flame to pull him forward. Sans rested his head against Grillby's side and the fire element lifted him up and held him in his arms.

“You are not the help we need.” The bartender told the therapist who still remained on the ground. “I'd apologize on behalf of my son, but quite frankly, you deserved it.” The doctor glared.

“Get out of my office. That freak needs an asylum, not a therapist.” Sans turned around, gaze harsh and the doctor cowered away. Grillby rested a hand against his skull and Sans grumbled. Without another word the parent left the room. He walked away from the room before he eased up on his grip to look his child over.

“Sans, you know what she said was-”

“I just want to go home,” Sans muttered, no longer wanting to be near the hospital. Sans felt discouraged, furious, and depressed. All he wanted was to go home and let Papyrus surround him with blankets as he slept.

“Talk to me, Sans. You aren't okay.” Grillby told his child as they rode the elevator down. “What happened in the room?”

“I just want to go home!” The skeleton screamed before the elevator door opened. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to deal with his voices or his insanity. Sans just wanted to go home and stay there for a long time. He hated this place and he detested the people inside. He shouldn't have asked for help. It was foolish of him to think he could get help, that he was normal or could ever be normal. This is what he got for having hope, for believing in the impossible.

Grillby's voice along with the ones in his own skull could be heard, but Sans just tuned them out. He was tired of everyone, the false hope, the lies, the insults, the disappointment, the pain. Sans didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted nothing more than to sleep and never wake back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wether its true or not, I read somewhere the human immune systems are attractive to an opposite immune system? Anyways, true or not, that's how I kind of imagined Kawa like. The matched up with the monster's energy to make their body kinda be like "Oh hey, that's nice. Don't worry about that guy, he's cool!"
> 
> Also, I'd like to say most of these situations are based off of my own experiences/those close friends have been through. I got medical treatment from a hospital that wasn't exactly normal. It was on a military base and suitable for over 20 different nations so...it may be different? I don't know how these types of things are handled in normal hospitals so if this seems odd to those of you who have been to therapy, uh sorry? I've been told therapy is different in the states or other countries.
> 
> Thanks you all for the comments, they are lovely. I hope this chapter flows and makes sense. A week of no writing can really throw you off. Do inform me if you guys think I should fix it! As the author I always think it could be improved or is *insert fart sound*. Can never know if it's good or not without you guys!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	29. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Han, wasn't sure if your laptop was still wonky. Decided to let you have some free time because after rereading my own work more than twice, I've realized how horrific I am when it comes to checking for mistakes. Dear God, how do you put up with me. I want to set my computer on fire.
> 
>  
> 
> [More rad art!!!](http://somnikat.tumblr.com/post/141806480192/are-you-afraid-ok-i-was-never-reading-any)

Papyrus perked up at the sound of the front door opening. He fled the couch he was sitting on with Bonnie and went over to the front door. Sans looked distraught and Grillby's flame was low. The younger skeleton watched as his guardian set down his brother who refused to look at him.

“Sans? Is everything alr-” The elder skeleton brushed by his sibling without a word. Papyrus spun around, trailing after him, but he wasn't as fast as his brother. By the time Papyrus climbed the steps Sans was in their bedroom and wordlessly slammed the door closed. The smaller skeleton marched up the steps and rushed up to the door knocking on it. With no response, he tried once more only to have the same result.

“Sans?” Papyrus called as he reached up for the knob. He twisted the knob, but the door had been locked. “Brother?” The skeleton tapped his fingers against the door, expression anxious. What had made him so upset? Sans never locked the door like this, at least not without letting someone else inside with him. If his brother was upset Papyrus had to be with him. Papyrus had always clung to his brother when the older skeleton was upset. It was his job, his one good skill. Every since his episode, Papyrus refused to leave his side and stressed constantly about his brother's health and safety. He kept his feeling to himself because he knew better than to voice them out loud. He didn't need the attention, Sans did. Papyrus had no right to feel that way, not with his brother in this state. He had to be brave, stay positive! He had no idea what was happening or what was causing his sibling so much pain, but that didn't matter.

Well, he'd like to know. He'd like to help. Papyrus couldn't think of anything else he could ever desire more than his brother's happiness and maybe if the younger sibling knew, he could help. If-...If they just told him something--No! Positive! Sans! Focus on Sans! Sans doesn't want to tell Papyrus and he accepted that. He had to. 

“What happened?” Papyrus asked after Sans refused to open the bedroom door. Grillby stood by Papyrus and the skeleton allowed the flame to rest a hand on is shoulder.

“The meeting didn't go very well. He's just a bit tired. Give him some time.” Grillby didn't want to allow Sans to be alone in his room, but he knew nothing harmful was inside. He'd give the skeleton some time alone before he'd demand either a response or that Sans at least unlock his one entrance.

“He's really upset, Dad. He doesn't lock the door. He doesn't like locked doors. What happened?” Papyrus needed to know. Sans looked so depressed and miserable. He hadn't even given the young skeleton a chance to help before the door was closed and locked.

“He just had an attack.” 

“Why? What happened?”

“I--...I think it's best if Sans tells you that.” Grillby didn't want to spill his child's feelings knowing Sans could listen in. Sans didn't want Papyrus worrying about him. Grillby didn't enjoy secrets amongst his family, but he didn't want to make matters worse. Papyrus seemed understanding enough before. He knew his brother liked his privacy.

“No, you tell me.” The skeleton mumbled, socket's watching Grillby, begging him. “Tell me.” He said again in a louder voice.

“Pap, I don't think that's a good idea. You know Sans likes his privacy.”

“Papyrus why don't we finish our book?” Bonnie offered, climbing the steps. Papyrus shook his head.

“No, I want to know what happened. Tell me what happened.”

“Papyrus he doesn't-”

“He's my brother! I have to help him! Tell me what's wrong!” Papyrus demanded, pushing away from his bedroom door. Papyrus loved Sans, he was his brother, his friend, his family. He wanted nothing more than to take all his sadness away and he would if he could, but he had no idea how. Grillby refused to tell him what Sans confessed and Sans never told his brother anything. Papyrus had accepted it for so long. Sans' comfort was his top priority, but he was so tired of being kept in the dark. He had no idea what was happening to his brother and that terrified him. Sans seemed to be losing his mind and everyone knew what was wrong except him. He was always able to make Sans feel better, but now the elder child refused to let him help. Sans locked the door, locked Papyrus out. Papyrus felt so useless.

“Papyrus, please calm down. You know Sans just needs some time.” Papyrus gave them so much time! He kept waiting and waiting for them to tell him, but they didn't! He just wanted to help! Why wouldn't they let him do his one job?

“No, you don't know how I feel! How any of this feel! Sans is upset and I don't know why. I can't help him. You two won't tell me anything. I'm trying so hard to be there for him and to support him, but no one thinks to tell me anything!” Papyrus cried and Grillby faded, flickers of blue passing through him. “I'm not selfish and I try to put everyone else's needs before my own. Sans takes priority. He needs it more than me.” The skeleton sniffled, rubbing at his face. “But you both act like it doesn't hurt me seeing him like this. I have to accept this because I have no other choice. I have to stay positive because no one else will. I'm okay with that. I'm good at it. Just stop treating me like I'm stupid and that I don't know what's going on! I know he's not okay. I know when he is just flustered and when he is unhealthy. I know him better than anyone yet you both act like I'm just here to be something for Sans to use to feel better!”

“Pap, Papyrus, no. We don't think that!” Grillby told his child, but Papyrus knew better.

“I know you do and that's fine. I'm only skilled in making him feel better. I'm not good at a lot of things, although I try. I've tried to do my best to help Sans, but I can't when you both don't tell me things! I'm scared, Grillby. I'm scared of what will happen to Sans. I'm afraid that he won't wake up or that he won't be able to recover from an attack. He's not well. He's not healthy. I know there's something going on I'm not an idiot! I don't want to be upset. I shouldn't be. I don't have the right to be. I should be focused on Sans, but I'm just so frustrated! I don't like that my one solution being to relying on you! He gets all panicked and all I can do is use my stupid magic and go find you. This-” The skeleton looked down at his hands, “this isn't a solution. I'm not a permanent fix. I hardly do anything at all because I have no idea how to help other than magic and I can't use that. Right now, I can't do the one thing I know how to in order to help. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help. I-I just feel so useless! And I can't even hide in my room until I feel better!” Papyrus' short-lived anger just melted into sorrow. “I can't be upset. I can't be. I just-I'm just-” He trailed off, sobbing softly into his hands.

Grillby felt horrible. He had been ignoring Papyrus completely. The poor skeleton had remained optimistic and supportive throughout everything. He had stood by and watched his brother become an unstable shell of who he once was and had no explanation for it. The guardian abused his son's good nature and positivity. Now Papyrus was denying himself the ability to feel and express himself freely. He should be upset. He should be furious. He just blamed himself for feeling anything that didn't pertain to his brother and that was wrong. He was doubting himself and compared his actions only by how useful they were to his sibling. And now, standing outside the locked door with no way of aiding his brother in his time of need, Papyrus must be feeling so distraught.

“Papyrus, I'm so sorry.” Grillby apologized and the skeleton just shook his head.

“I just need a moment,” Papyrus mumbled. He needed to calm down. His attention should be on his brother, not himself. When had he become so selfish? He was a horrible brother.

“Hey, no, it's okay.” Grillby knelt down next to his child. “You don't have to be happy all the time. It's okay to be upset. You can be frustrated.”

“No, I can't be.” The skeleton snapped. “I have to be strong. I have to be. I just- I need to be alone.” He pushed Grillby away and walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

The house was quiet for a few hours. Sans made no noise in his bedroom but had unlocked the door when Grillby had asked. Bonnie spent an hour calming Papyrus down until the skeleton had opened the bathroom door. He apologized to them, an apology he did no need to say and that no one deserved. Papyrus had been right, they did abuse him and treat him like an accessory and not a person. He was a child who had emotions and feeling that were being pushed aside for his sibling. Even when Grillby tried to talk to him after he left the bathroom Papyrus just continued to say he was sorry and that he was being selfish.

Papyrus did not waste time on himself. With the bedroom door unlocked he had spent a large portion of the day in the room trying to get his brother to talk to him. Sans had curled up on the never before used top bunk with the covers pulled over his head. The younger skeleton tried to help him with his magic but was gently shoved away. Although Sans did end up being asleep most of the time when the smaller skeleton checked up on him, the few times he was up he was unresponsive. He had only responded to Papyrus once the entire day and that was at night.

Papyrus couldn't recall a single night where he had slept alone. He felt like the bed was too big. He rested again the wall in hopes of it providing some sort of comfort, but it was a poor replacement for his brother. Papyrus couldn't sleep without him. He missed feeling his weight on the bed, having an arm draped across his body holding him close, he missed hearing his brother's soft snores or mumbling, he just missed his brother.

“Sans?” Papyrus whispered, laying on his back, arms holding onto a stuffed dog. “Sans? Can I come sleep with you?” He had not expected a reply, but to his surprise, he got one.

“No.”

Papyrus did not sleep well that night. The next day was long and miserable. Grillby had wanted to stay home, but Bonnie told him staying home and waiting on his children would drive him mad and demanded he go. The bunny spent the day with Papyrus who took many naps due to his sleepless night. Bonnie and Papyrus both tried talking to Sans but had no luck. With each passing moment, Papyrus felt more and more upset.

What had happened?! It had been a day and Sans looked as if he hadn't moved since he locked himself away. He didn't respond to Papyrus' magic, his jokes, Bonnie, Grillby, or anything. If it wasn't for the faint glow Papyrus saw, he'd assume Sans' was gone. There had been multiple times where Papyrus had almost lost control of his emotions. Tears would begin to form, but he'd wipe them away. He'd swallow back the sobs and pleas he so desperately wanted to let out. He had to be brave. He had to be positive. He had to be Papyrus.

But, who was Papyrus without his skill? Everyone relied on his optimism, acceptance, and his ability to help Sans out. Now, he couldn't do any of those. Papyrus doubted himself more than ever, he no longer accepted being kept in the dark, and he could do nothing to lessen his brother's pain. Papyrus wasn't himself, he wasn't who he was supposed to be-who everyone thought he was. Papyrus didn't feel like himself, but he could pretend to be. He would pretend to be. This wasn't about him, it was about Sans. Papyrus didn't need to feel like who he should be in order to do something. He just needed to smile and act.

“Sans?” Papyrus clung to the small rail used to reach the top bunk. “Sans? It's time for lunch. Are you up yet?” The small skeleton watched the lump in hopes of seeing his brother rise up from beneath the covers. “Bonnie made sandwiches. She even cut up a hot dog and put it in one for you. She cut mine into a bunny shape. Maybe she can make yours into a shape.” The blanket was pulled further over the elder brother's head. “Would you like a star shape one?”

“Go away.” Papyrus frowned, glancing over at the doorway. He pulled himself up into the top bunk and sat at the edge. Another day had passed and still, Sans remained in the bed. The younger skeleton had no idea if Sans ate during the night, but he was getting concerned. He could stay in their room, but he had to eat. Well, he didn't have to, not if he didn't want to...

“You can eat it later.” Make him feel better. If he didn't want to eat, don't force him to. “Only Dad's had a sandwich that wouldn't taste good if you microwaved it. Bonnie also brought some Cinnamon Bunnies too. She said her sister made them and they are still warm. Would you like one?” Sans did not reply. “I, um, I drew a picture of the Waterfalls. Do you want to see it?” No response. Papyrus let out a soft whimper, hands wringing together. He felt a lump form in his throat, but he swallowed it down. Stay strong. Be strong. “W-Would you-um, like me t-to let you sleep? You were up really l-late last night, I-I think. I heard you moving around.” The urge to cry would not be ignored and Papyrus shook his head, taking in a shaky breath. “I-If you sleep all day you-you won't be able to-o sleep later. I-It's not goo-d-d to-to sleep this much.”

“Papyrus, leave.” The younger skeleton squeezed his sockets' shut as he began taking in deep breaths. Don't cry. Don't cry. He needs you. Be strong. Be brave. Don't cry. Help. Try again, there's always a way. He can help. He has to help. Be there for him. Help him! Be Papyrus!

“Y-You don't want to talk to Grillby. I-I get that. I also know you-” The skeleton voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “You don't like talking t-to me too. B-But I'm here. I will always be here for you.” Please talk. “S-Sans?” Please get better. “Are you okay?” Please! Please please please please-

“NO!” Sans slammed his fist against the wall as he screamed. Papyrus flinched away, fingers digging into his pajama pants. The elder brother's fist went lax, sliding down the wall and landing on the bed. The covers were tossed aside in his outburst exposing a portion of the skeleton's skull. “No,” Sans repeated in a broken tone. He was facing away from his younger brother and the smaller child was unable to see his brother's face.

“Boys?” Grillby called, most likely hearing Sans outburst. “Everything alright?”

“Yes!” Papyrus shouted back before Sans swung his hand in the direction of the door, slamming it closed. “Fine!” The skeleton shouted louder to ensure his guardian that they were okay. The younger child watched his brother lay curled up tightly, abandoning the blanket that fell to his shoulder's. “Do you want me to pull the blankets back up?”

“It doesn't matter.” A response!

“I think it does. You like the blankets over you.”

“I don't care.” Try again.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“Do whatever you want. I don't care. You don't need my permission.”

“I want to make you feel better.” Please. How can he help? Tell him how to help. 

“Papyrus I don't care!” Sans shouted facing his brother for the first time in three days. Papyrus felt crushed at his exhausted and hopeless appearance. “I don't care! What I want doesn't matter! Nothing about me matters! Stop trying to help me! I'm hopeless!” The skeleton's sockets began to water. Sans turned away, bringing his hands up to cover his face. “I'm hopeless.” He whispered.

“Why do you think that?” Papyrus asked, his tears beginning to trickle down his skull.

“Because it's true! No one can help! I'm worthless!”

“That's not true!” Papyrus blurted, crushed his brother would think so lowly of himself.

“You don't know that! You don't know!” Sans barked back.

“Yes, I do!” The younger skeleton yelled refusing to let his sorrow get the best of him. He needed to stay strong, be positive! “I know you! You aren't worthless or hopeless. You're my brother! You're amazing and strong and-”

“YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING PAPYRUS!” Sans shirked launching a pillow across the room. The smaller child winced, startled by his brother's tone. Still, he was determined.

“So tell me!” Tell him! Tell him what he didn't know. Tell him how to help. Tell him!

“You wouldn't understand.” Sans murmured, sockets refusing to meet his brother's

“Try me!” Please!

“No. You won't. I know you won't.” How? Why? Please, Sans, please! Stop hiding. Stop with the secret! He could handle it! He could help! Papyrus just wanted to help him! Just let him help!!!

“How do you know? You never tell me anything! Nobody tells me anything!” Papyrus blurted and Sans glared, foul expression on his face as he challenged his brother's emotions with his own. Sans was so tired, so defeated, so miserable. He just wanted to release all these emotions that were tearing him apart. Unfortunately,Papyrus was  the tipping point and Sans began to shout.

“Because you can't handle it! I know you can't because I've seen it! You don't remember, but I do! He broke you!” Papyrus was silent. “You always believed in doing things the right way. You thought there was another choice but there wasn't! There isn't! You can't solve everything by believing in it and staying positive! I had to do everything for us-for you! And when I didn't and tried it your way he hurt you!” Sans was feeling so many emotions, but none of them could be directed to Papyrus. Papyrus saw his brow bone scrunch up in anger, his sockets water in sorrow, his voice crack from the overwhelming feelings. Sans felt so many things, but when his eyes met his brother's Papyrus saw only sadness and love. It was like looking into his soul. All of Sans' body told the younger skeleton to stay away, he'd even tell him too as well. But Sans' soul and pupils begged him to stay. It hurt. His brother continued to ramble on about things Papyrus did not understand. He was scared and wanted Sans' to stop, but he didn't speak.

“I know you won't understand because you can't and never have! You can't handle stress! You can't handle knowing!” The larger skeleton let out a defeated sob, curling up. “You don't fight back. You don't hurt people. You never hurt him, I had to. I always had to do it. I had to for you. You wouldn't, so I did. If I didn't you'd be dead.” He sobbed, shoulder shaking. Dead? Who did Sans hurt?

“Sans, what are you talking about?” Papyrus whimpered horrified by the information his brother was shouting about. “W-What do you mean? Brother, I don't understand.” Sans just crumbled before his brother, bones rattling together. Sans wanted him to go away, to leave him. He didn't deserve him. Papyrus was free, he could do and be whatever he wanted. He wasn't held back by the burden of the past. “S-Sans? What do you mean? I'm scared. Who hurt me?”

“I lied.” Papyrus looked confused.

“About what?”

“Everything.” The younger skeleton breath caught in his throat.

“W-What?” With all the energy he could must Sans faced his brother once more.

“Everything!” He repeated with a loud voice and cold expression. “We didn't grow up in the Waterfalls. We never had parents. I never lived outside until we left that day. I didn't know there was and outside. You aren't my brother. We aren't monsters. We're experiments. We were made in a lab. We were supposed to be weapons. We were abused and experimented on our entire lives until I killed Gaster. I killed him because he was going to kill you. You forgot, everyone forgot, but me because of the machine. I lied about everything Papyrus. Everything I told you was a lie!” The skeleton finished and took only a second to absorb his brother's terrified expression, body petrified by fear. Sans' sockets were hollow, unable to retract his words. He was afraid to move or to speak. The air felt still and the house was quiet. It felt like hours had passed before Papyrus finally spoke.

“Why did you lie?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“...I didn't want you to remember.” Sans fisted his hands in covers. “He hurt you before it all happened. He hurt you a lot and you gave up.” His sockets began to water once more. “You wouldn't smile, or laugh. You wouldn't move. It was my fault. I was supposed to help you, to protect you. I always protected you. You always believe in me and then you found out I couldn't save you.” Sans was never able to save him. He hurt people, not help them.

“W...We aren't brothers?” Sans closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“We were made to match each other's souls and magic. Gaster made me and then he made you because he was forced to. He said the word brother by mistake. We started calling each other that for fun.”

“B-But if we match a-aren't we related? Aren't we-”

“We were made out of similar materials, that's it. He used the DNA of the human skeletons, his own body and magic, and the souls to make our bodies. We are two separate skeletons magically. We were fused with magic and soul energy in order to live. We only feel attached to each other because our bodies were made to be. Without that energy, you wouldn't care. You wouldn't care about me. It's just-”

“That's not true!” Papyrus defended, cutting his brother off. No. No, that's not true! “I don't care about what I'm made of! You're my brother. You always have been. You always will be! Grillby is my dad and we aren't the related. Family isn't bound by relations. We choose our family. I've chosen mine, it's you! It's you and Grillby and Bonnie and even Sulfi, Fiora, and Flint. You-You keep talking about how you don't care and I don't either! I don't care that you lied! I don't care about what we are or were suppose to be! I don't care about any of that! I don't know what happened and I don't know if I ever will. But, I don't care. What it was is gone! I don't how or why, but we aren't there anymore, you got us out, you saved us. Us, Sans, _us_. You keep talking about how you did everything for me, yet you are here too. You got out. You save me. You helped me. You got Grillby when I was sick. You decided to stay. You decided to go to school. It's because of you that we are alive. You got us this home, a dad, a family, a life! You think it's stupid of me for always being positive and believing that there is good in the world no matter what, but you never gave up! How am I suppose to think negatively when the one I admire and love the most never did? If you didn't care you wouldn't have done any of that! You would have listened to whatever that guy said but you didn't. Do really believe we wouldn't care about each other without being made to? Do you only care about me because you feel obligated to? Did you lie about that too Sans? This whole time, were you doing it just because you felt like you had to?”

“No!” Sans cried. “No! Never! I never felt that way! I always cared. I hurt you. I beat you because he told me to and I was afraid. I didn't want to go near you because I knew you hated me and I hated myself because of that. But you came up to me and you smiled and forgave me. I didn't deserve it, I don't deserve it now, but I always cared. You always loved me no matter what and I felt the same. It's not because of the energy. I did this for you. I always thought about you first!”

“How is that any different than me? I always try to help just like you did. So why am I wrong and you aren't?”

“Because I wasn't able to protect you and keep you safe! I failed!”

“No, you didn't!” Papyrus shoved his brother and Sans fell back onto the pillows behind him. “How have you failed?! Am I dead?! Are you dead?! NO!” Papyrus didn't mean to be as furious as he was but he was so angry. “I always tried to be there for you, but you never came to me. Did I fail? You have been in this bed for days and wouldn't talk to anyone and I couldn't do anything about it! Am I a failure? I haven't been able to help you at all, so am I a bad brother? Did I let those things discourage me? No! No, Sans, no to all of them! We can't be perfect! You can't save me from every broken bone and I can't help you feel better all the time and that's okay! Because look at us now, brother!” Papyrus snatched up his brother's hand, waving their entwined fingers around. “We both are getting exactly what we want! How is that a failure? You are finally talking to me and I can finally be a good brother like you! And you Sans,” Papyrus placed his brother's hand over his soul. “Am I dead Sans? Did you protect me? Did you save us?” Sans hiccuped, vision blurred by tears but nodded. “You don't have to suffer alone anymore, Sans. Do I look like I've given up? Because I haven't. I won't. I'm more determined than ever before. I can't lose hope, I won't. You've proven to me that I can't. I have to keep believing and so do you. You aren't hopeless, nothing is. Everything will be okay.” The older child's eyes were like mini waterfalls, his pupils large and desperate.

“How can you be so sure?” Papyrus smiled softly, bony hand extended outward to rest against his sibling's cheek.

“Because as long as I have you I know it will be.” It took only a moment for the words to sink into Sans' mind. He let out a soul breaking wail, flinging himself at his brother. The two clung onto each other, crying until no more tears could be shed.

Sans knew everything wasn't okay. He'd be dumb to think so. But still, at that moment he felt as if things were going to be. The thoughts of doubts were always there in his head. They told him the negatives to all of Papyrus' hopeful words. Sans didn't focus on the thought or the words, he just allowed himself to feel. He so rarely had the ability to anymore. Everything required him to turn off an emotion, or not feel this or overreact to that. Right now, Sans just cried and it felt amazing. His brother's arms, his soul's warmth and energy, the comforting words he whispered, the covers on his legs, the fabric of his clothes, everything felt so alive and real. It was like the time they found the twinkling rocks in the Waterfall. The brother's lays on the ground watching them for hours. Sans knew as he laid on the dirt, that that moment was temporary. He needed to find food, shelter, and to keep his brother safe. But staring up at those starlike crystals, shimmering and displaying an array of color he had never known existed, he felt so free. No fear of tomorrow, no burden of yesterday, just that moment. Sans was there once more, just in the moment. Time didn't drag by or fly by, it' simple ticked on without a single thought.

Sans hated his thoughts the most because they prevented him from being rational. What Papyrus said was true, but because of his illness, he was unable to believe it. Sans believed every single thing his brother told him, however, the moment he was alone his insanity would tell him else. Sans knew Papyrus would no longer stand for his past behavior. Papyrus would never abandon him, not anymore. The younger skeleton was more demanding that their guardian. Grillby always let Sans go at his own pace and while Papyrus wasn't a fan of rushing Sans either if he wanted something he'd be more vocal about it. And now that Sans had broken down the final wall that he had built between them, there was no stopping his baby brother. Papyrus finally got the boost he. He had been wrong to doubt himself and feel, even if only for a moment, that it was hopeless. Although it was the doubt that got him here, his underline belief and optimism had pulled through.

Because even if they both desperately wanted to put their faith in Papyrus' words, it was hard to. But they both knew one thing for sure, as long as they had each other, things would always be okay.

“Grillby,” Sans called, standing on the threshold of their kitchen.

“Sans? Is that-” Grillby took in both of the skeletons' red sockets, tears stained faces, and wet shirts. “What the-”some water splashed against his arm and he hissed, turning off the faucet. “What the hell happened? Are you two okay?!”

“I want to go see the other therapists.” The elder skeleton squeezed his brother's hand who held it back with just as much force. “With Papyrus.” Grillby was stunned, eyes darting between the two of them. He was unsure of what happened upstairs, but he was not about to question it.

“Okay.” He agreed, removing his gloves and setting them on the counter.

“Papyrus knows about it.” Detecting the flame's confusion Sans' elaborated. “About Gaster, about everything. Well, most of it.” The smaller child shot a questioning look to his sibling. "He knows I've been lying to him."

“Oh.” Grillby's flamed head lowered glancing at his youngest son who wore a small smile in hopes reassuring his guardian. “That's good.” The element rested a hand on each of his children's' shoulders. “No more secrets between us. We are all there for one another now, no matter what.” They nodded and the bartender pulled his children into a tight embrace before he released them. The guardian glanced over at the food Bonnie had prepared for the larger skeleton before she left. “Hungry?” Sans grabbed the front of his shirt below his ribs and bobbed his head eagerly.

“Starving.” Sans watched the plate with hungry eyes and Grillby went over to it.

“How about I make you a nice salad?” Sans looked crushed.

“But isn't that-? Pap said I had a sandwich.”

“Yeah, you did, but I was really hungry.” The guardian slides the plate out of view.

“Grillby!” Sans whined reaching up for his meal. “Come one, I saw it!”

“Jeez kiddo got no idea what you are talking about. All that's up here is some freshly made Cinnamon Bunnies.” The flame picked one up and took a bite out of it. “Really good too.” Papyrus giggled and Sans let out another loud whine.

“I want one!” The younger one cried and Grillby handed one over to him. Sans watched in horror as his family member ate the mouthwatering treat in front of him.

“Guys!” Sans groaned before he laid on the ground with a grunt. The element knelt down and placed a bunny on his skull. He reached snatched it and shoved the entire thing into his mouth at once.

“That's how people choke, Sans,” Grillby told his child, flicking him gently on his forehead. Sans spoke with a mouth full of food and earned himself another soft flick. “Come on savage, I taught you manners.” The child grunted, struggling to chew, but after a few minutes he managed to swallow it down.

“I said I was hungry!”

“Clearly, you bonehead.” Grillby chuckled, picking up the tray of treats and Sans' meal before he nodded in the direction of the table. The two sat down and waited for their food. Grillby held the plates up and cleared his throat. Sans reached up for his plate, but he was too short. Slowly, the bartender set the plates down and right before Sans was about to snatch up his sandwich he took it away.

“GRILLBY!”

“Sans, you are forgetting something.” The fire element teased.

“What?” He asked, glancing at his brother who mouthed the words 'thank you.' He clicked his teeth together and rolled his eyes. “Oh.” Grillby eased up on his grip and Sans sighed, but straightened his back and smiled politely. Before the bartender could react, the skeleton jumped onto the table and encased his sandwich in blue magic. He teleported onto the coffee table and took a large bite with a smug expression, letting out a loud laugh.

“You little butthead.” Grillby chuckled, shaking his head.

“Hey, hey, Grillby,” Sans called after swallowing. The flame looked at his child and Sans grinned. “Thanks for the meal, old man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Paps been feeling kinda lonely, huh? Shame on you readers, there is more than one smol skele in need of love and affection. 
> 
> Hello one and hello all! I'm quite beaten up over this, but I no longer believe I can keep up with my current posting schedule. I have not lost interest or ran out of idea for the fic, but for some reason writing it isn't the same as it was. When I started this fic I made my schedule only so I wouldn't end up posting five chapters a day. But now, I have more expectations for myself. Writing a chapter use to take a day or so, but now it usually takes me two to three days to do it spread out amongst my other activities. However, now I am focusing more on other things at the moment and had to stop that in order to get this chapter out. For some reason the my dull life also decided to suddenly start becoming more active and for this chapter especially, I've had to stop myself from having some me time in order to get this out on time. That does not mean I am giving up on a schedule and leaving you guys with a "see ya when I see ya!" In fact, I have to have a schedule or else I'd never be motivated enough to post anything. Instead, updates will now be either every three days or four. I hope I can keep it at three, but I'd rather be safe than sorry and go with both. That way you guys can know if I don't post a chapter one day it'll just be out the next and I don't have to force out a chapter. I don't know how you guys feel about it, but when an author posts a chapter they hate, you can kinda feel it ya know? I'd rather post what I am proud of and I know you will enjoy rather than tossing some half-assed trash your way. I hope you all can understand. 
> 
> Thank you all so very much for your comments! You guys have become so vocal and given me so much constructive critisism and I appreciate it a lot! If you have an issue with a chapter or a question, please do tell/ask! I would be more than happy to fix an error I made or try to help you understand. I always take into consideration what you guys would like to see which is why I asked what you'd like to know about the characters. I plan on using the therapy sessions as a way to help fill in more backstory and hopefully be able to answer some questions you guys left or have. Your opinion and desires (to an extent of course) help motivate me and banish any traces of writers block that sometimes arise. But please, do not at all feel pressured to comment! I'm a silent reader myself and know how stressful writing a comment can be at times. I just appreciate you being here and enjoying the story regardless of the kudos, comments, or anything else (but we did just reach 200 subs though, and that rad as fuck thank you guys so much). 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	30. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannah my homie, welcome back.

“Boys, hurry up. You're almost late Sans.”

“Pap is thirsty!” Sans called, holding his brother up so he could drink from the water fountain.

“Go ahead, it's just right there.” Sans nodded to the waiting area, but Grillby remained a few feet ahead not a fan of leaving his children behind in the hospital. A door opened up behind Grillby and he felt a small figure bump into his leg.

“Oh dear, I am so sorry! I didn't look-Oh, Grillby!” Kawa grinned and Grillby took a step back so the doctor didn't need to break is neck trying to see him. “I was hoping I'd see you. I am so very sorry about what happened with Sans last time. Clow was out of line and did not follow her instructions. They were all told under no circumstances that they were able to cause Sans any sort of stress or panic. Her behavior was unacceptable and the folks in charge are looking into the situation. I cannot apologize enough. I only hope Sans' experience isn't ruined. If there is anything I can do to help, anything at all please-”

“Pap! Pap, come on!” Sans dragged his brother away from the fountain once he spotted his psychiatrist. “Come here, this is the guy!” Sans pointed and Kawa poked out from behind Grillby's leg. Papyrus looked skeptical at first, but as he got closer his jaw dropped and he let out a gasp.

“Wowie!” The older skeleton stopped a few inches away from the adult.

“See that I mean? That's the thing! That's the energy!” Kawa looked utterly lost, but still kept a smile on his face.

“I see what you mean. But,” Papyrus trailed off and latched onto his brother's arm, giving it a tight squeeze. “Not as great as you.”

“Oh!” Kawa squeaked, his eyes sparkling. “They are so precious.” The psychiatrist snapped out of his daze and stepped out from behind Grillby's leg completely. “Sans, I am so happy to see you here. The last visit was so horrific and I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been. It was never my intent for this to happen. Your dedication to self-improvement is truly remarkable, Sans. You are very admirable for being strong enough to pull through and continue.” Kawa bowed slightly and Sans blushed.

“Um-Uh, I had some help.” The skeleton stated bashfully, squeezing his brother's hand.

“I bet you did! You must be Papyrus. Sans had told me so much about you.” Papyrus shook Kawa's offered hand absorbing the aura he radiated. “Oh, I am sorry. You must be on your way somewhere, yes? I don't want to be the cause of your tardiness, do excuse me. I just wanted to apologize and wish you the best of luck. As soon as you find the right therapist we can start the process.” With a final goodbye Kawa wandered off and the three checked in a few minutes late but the therapist had been tardy as well. Actually, they all saw her, but she had ran by so quickly no one could see her.

“Lee please take them to my office. I have to do something real quick!” She shouted and Lee rolled her eyes but pointed to a door left open down the hall.

“It's the open door to your left. The name Foli should be on it.” Grillby went into the room and sat down while Papyrus and Sans shared a chair despite there being enough for everyone. A minute or so passed and Sans gave Grillby a questioning look, but all the flame could do was shrug. Rushed footsteps could be heard and sure enough, the monster appeared in the room.

“I am so sorry! I really didn’t mean to be lat-AH!” A shrublike monster tripped over her own feet and landed face first on the tile below. The papers she held scattered across the room along with a few leaves that flew off her body. Papyrus gasped and rush over to help.

“Are you okay?” He asked with genuine concern.

“Oh yes, fine! Just fine. Jeez, I can’t believe I did this again. I’m sorry. My pants-They didn’t have a small and the legs are too big! I-Oh my papers! Shoot!” The frantic therapist desperately tried to gather her lost papers. Sans leaned on the edge of his chair watching her in fascination. She appeared to be a small shrub of some kind. The more she frantically flailed about, the more noise she caused by her leafy body rustling with her movements.

“Do you need some help?” Grillby offered, rising from his own seat.

“What? No! I have it under control! Please have a seat!” She stood up, awkwardly trying to straighten her document. “Gosh, this is such a mess. What next the room will be set on fire-“ She looked up and spotted Grillby and hid her face in her papers. “OH MY GOSH! I HOPE THAT WASN’T OFFENSIVE! I AM SO SORRY SIR!” Grillby glanced over at Sans and he swore the kid had stars in his eyes.

“I-It’s-uh, fine. Really.” Grillby decided to sit back down and he pulled Papyrus back over to his shared seat. Sans turned to him but watched the therapist try to gather herself from the corner of his sockets.

“Grillby,” Sans whispered, leaning closer to the flame. “She’s perfect.”Papyrus looked between them and the bartender's flame curled with interest.

“Yea?”

“Yes.” Sans agreed before he faced his dream therapist. “What’s your name?”

“Oh jeez. I am so sorry. I am Foli. Doctor Foli? Uh-feel free to just call me Foli. I like to keep it more comfortable if you don’t mind. And-um, oh, uh...” Her gaze darted between the two skeletal children. “Um...are you Sans?” She pointed to the elder skeleton with a branchy arm and he nodded.

“Yes!”

“A-And you are his guardian, Grillby?”

“Yes.”

“And uh-...you are?”

“I'm Papyrus! I'm Sans' brother!” Papyrus informed her and she nodded, sitting down in her own seat.

“Okay, well-good. Um-Yes, okay. So, I'm Foli, you already know that.” The therapist let out a nervous laugh. “Um, I am a new therapist here and in general I suppose. So, um, I'd like to apologize in advance if my methods are um-” She waved her hand around, a few leaves falling gracefully to the ground. “Scattered? I suppose that would be the correct term. A lot of therapists here have a very set way they do things I've noticed and I am still trying to figure that out myself. It can be rather difficult taking what the textbook says and turning that into something more lively. I do enjoy keeping the environment very friendly and comfortable, though. I, uh-I do believe comfort is very important in this type of situation. Not you or your situation specifically! I meant more as an overall-”

“You're perfect!” Sans blurted beaming at the nervous monster.

“Oh! Um, thank you. I am glad you think so.”

“Why do your leaves fall off?” Papyrus questioned. “Are you dying? Are you okay?”

“That's not a rude question is it?” Grillby asked, well aware his children had no filter and were almost impossible to control at times with their constant word vomit. “You don't have to answer that if it is. They just don't really have a grasp on mannerisms when it comes to speaking.” The boys scowled at their guardian who gave them a knowing look.

“Oh no, it's fine. It's not personal or anything. They just fall off sometimes.” Foli demonstrated by waving her arm and causing a few of her green colored body to fall off. “It's just like with hair or fur-oh, but you don't have any of that. How stupid of me. It's just-uh, natural. I tend to shed more during the summer as it faded into autumn. I actually should have a few...” She scanned her visible body, brushing through her branchy arms before she spotted what she was looking for. “Ah ha! See?” She plucked a leaf that was turning orange and showed it off. “Changed with the season.” The two skeletons marveled at the plant.

“That's amazing.” They said in unison.

“It's more a pain for me. The cleaning is endless. For every leaf I pick up two more fall off.” Foli said with a laugh, brushing off a few from her desk. “I'm surprised the cleaning staff isn't out to get me.”

“How are you not bald?” The older brother wondered.

“Magic!” Foli whispered in an enchanting tone, letting out a soft chuckle. “Um so,” she said when the room got quiet, “Sans would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself? Nothing personal or anything, just, uh hobbies and whatnot. You guys live in Snowdin?” The skeleton nodded.

“Yeah, we live in a nice house in town. It's right around the corner from the big area the tree is hung.” The therapist hummed.

“Yeah? You like it there?”

And the conversation continued on from there. Sans and Papyrus chatted away for the entire session. Grillby merely observed, for the most part, occasionally speaking, but never taking the attention away for too long. Foli seemed interested in the two and the entire room radiated a happy aura.

Sans was in love with his new therapist. She was so awkward and nervous! Usually, it was him who fumbled over his words or managed to embarrass himself.She was nothing like the other ones he had seen or been to. He didn't exactly have a large history of past therapists but compared to the ones he had seen she was an angel. All the others seemed so fake or lifeless, but she was real and alive. It made Sans feel like she genuinely cared about him and his health. Her laugh was real and her smile made Sans almost as joyful as Papyrus'. That special click Sans always thought he'd feel was there the second she fell through the door. He no longer felt so depressed being near the hospital. In fact, he actually looked forward to coming back.

“She can be my therapist right?” Sans questioned as they waited for the elevator. Grillby had to all but drag the skeleton out of the room going twenty minutes over the scheduled time.

“If you like her, she can be. We have to go two more times first. If you still like her by the end of it, she'll be your new therapist.”

“No one else here is like her. They all are bad, all but her.” Sans grinned, unable to contain his excitement. “I want to go again! When can we go back? Can we go back soon?” Sans stopped suddenly looking devastated. “Grillby, did she like me? Was I okay? What if she doesn't want to be my therapist. Oh no, Grillby what if she hates me! She's going to! Grillby I don't-” The bartender placed his hands on the side of his son's head and forced him to look at him.

“Sans, calm down. Breathe, in,” Sans did his best to take in a deep breath. It helped when he focused on Papyrus' hand in his own.“Hold. Now, release.” Slowly he let out his breath and repeated it a few more times before he calmed himself down. “Sans, I'm sure she loved you.” The bartender reassured by the skeleton did not look convinced.

“But what about when we have to start talking?”

“Sans, these therapists-well, her specifically, she won't hate you or dislike you for talking. She's there to help you get better. It's her job to listen and help you out. What matters most is that you like her.”

“I do, but-”

“No buts, numbskull.” Grillby knocked Sans' skull lightly. “Did she seem like she hated you?”

“No.” Papyrus led them both into the open elevator.

“Then, why worry? You two got along great. Let's just take this one step at a time, alright?” Sans took in a deep inhale and let it out, nodding.

“Okay.”

Sans only grew more and more fond of Foli as each session went. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she wasn't the one for him. Kawa seemed apprehensive at first knowing Foli's newer status, but in the end accepted Sans' request. Foli was informed of the situation and during their next meeting seemed a bit on edge. Sans had barely gotten any sleep the night before, terrified he'd scare her off. She was jumpier than usual and more leaves fell off than usual as well. Sans had really feared the worst before she openly confessed to being nervous about her new position. Meeting Asgore so privately had set her on edge and her lack of practice in the field had managed to just push her over completely. She kept apologizing and hoped that she'd be suitable for Sans however the skeleton wanted to be the one apologizing to her. He had forced this upon her and she was clearly unhappy because of it.

“You-...You don't-” Sans stopped himself, rubbing at his arm. Papyrus had decided to stay home with Bonnie when she came over with a new recipe for pancakes, but Sans really wished he had come now. The room didn't feel as lively as it once had and he wasn't sure if it was because of his absence or just his own discomfort. “Um, you don't have to...agree? I-I forced this on you. I'm sorry.”

“Sans, what do you mean?” Foli asked, not understanding why Sans was apologizing.

“You're not happy with this situation. You are stressed because of me. I don't want you to be. You don't have to be. I can try to-uh...find someone else or...” Sans stared down at the ground as he trailed off. He knew he'd never find anyone as great as Foli. Though, the idea of him keeping her for his own personal use seemed wrong to him.

“Sans? Can you look at me more a moment, please?” The skeleton obeyed, watching her with large pupils. “I've been a bit stressed, but it is not because of you. Well, more of the entire situation as a whole, but it's because of my own inability and experience. You are a lovely monster and it was been so much fun getting to know you. I just worry that I won't be enough to help you, that's all. I'm thrilled that you accepted me and I thank you for that. I just hope I can do you justice. This whole situation is a bit overwhelming and a lot to take in, but if you are willing to let me try to help then I will do whatever I can too.” The skeleton gazed up at her with uncertain sockets.

“You aren't burdened by this? By me?” Foli shook her head.

“Not in the slightest.” She smiled and Sans returned the expression.

Although Sans did love having Foli as a therapist, his nerves were still present. It took a few more sessions before Sans finally opened up. He was more informative with Papyrus around, but the smaller skeleton was on and off with his visits. He tried to attend as many as possible, but his childlike nature often distracted him. Foli started with smaller questions and whenever Sans got too uncomfortable she'd revert back to topics around Papyrus or Grillby. Grillby understood where Foli was coming from with her questions and was well aware of how abnormal Sans was being about them. His own therapist had asked him similar questions about his childhood or life growing up as a child, but those were a more difficult questions for Sans. Sans had no trouble talking about the present or even his time homeless, but that large chunk in between was off limits. Off limits, however, crucial to the entire process.

The hardest part for Sans was trying to answer the questions. He was either unaware of the answer or had already said it and felt like he was repeating himself too much. No one else seemed bothered or seemed to notice the skeletons apprehension until they realized it for themselves. After Foli had asked him where he was born, everyone finally grasped how difficult this was going to be by Sans' answer.

“I-...wasn't?”

Foli had since gotten very specific with her questions. Questions like where he was born, who were his parents, if he had any genetically related family, they were all called 'awkward questions'. Sans was well aware his answers were abnormal, but he wasn't sure if he should answer the questions truthfully or not. Thankful Foli changed her ways and Sans no longer had to worry about the truth so much. She asked more questions like where he was before Grillby's, if anyone was with him, who those people were. The skeleton had a harder time answering, but at this point, he truthfully struggled to answer any question.

“Was growing up in the labs alone different from having your brother there?” Foli still knew very little about the events that took place within the labs. Sans had told her about the labs, a general idea of what went on, and a lot of mild and tame things that went on in his earlier years. He only mentioned Gaster's name once usually referring to him as doctor.

“Um, kinda, yes. It was always the same routine, but I saw it in a different light. Papyrus saw things differently than me. It was like all of a sudden, everything I knew was wrong.” Everything he had known was wrong, or at least in the eyes of those who lived outside the labs.

“In a good way?” The skeleton shrugged, clicking his teeth together.

“Depends. I guess in the long term it was. For you guys it was.” Sans motioned to Grillby and his therapist, thumb gently stroking his brother's hand. “But for us, it wasn't. I'm um...conditioned a certain way and that was the right way. Papyrus didn't turn out that way.” The younger sibling tightened his grip momentarily, reminding his brother to breathe.

“Can I ask what the 'right way' was?” Sans inhaled sharply, pressing teeth together.

“Um…no,” Sans mumbled, averting his gaze. Grillby and Foli had told him multiple times that no was an answer. Sans had caused himself mild panic attacks over his inability to turn Foli down in the past. Now, instead of stressing he just said no, but still felt bad.

“Okay, can I ask what the 'wrong way' was? Why was Papyrus wrong?” Foli was always observant, almost scarily so. The moment Sans' brow bone furrowed or his breathing increased she'd stop and change the subject. There had been no severe incident in the room yet, however Sans wondered if she was always prepared for one.

“He cared? He-...Papyrus didn't listen a lot of the time. He wouldn't obey and do all the tasks he was asked to. He didn't hurt anything and wouldn't kill. I-um...I wasn't like that.” Sans focused on the tiles below, tracing their square shape in his mind.

“So the doctor thought Papyrus was made incorrectly because he was nice?” Foli continued, hoping the subject of Papyrus would allow her more leeway.

“Yea.”

“Do you think that way?” Sans looked surprised by the question.

“No. No! I don't! I don't think so at all!” Sans always knew Papyrus' way was better and nicer, never incorrect or wrong. Papyrus was just trying to be nice and find the peaceful solution to everything. Sans never thought that was wrong, just sometimes stupid or pointless. It was a hopeless way of thinking that only made Sans' job harder, but he wouldn't change that for anything. Papyrus was perfect.

“Do you think that the way you were taught was wrong?” Sans opened his mouth to agree but couldn't form a yes. His body was split, one-half telling him he was wrong for being so cruel, but the other half told him he was right. For that situation, Sans had acted correctly, right? In the labs, he was a slave and acted as such. Outside he tried to be more like his brother, but it was hard. His rooted behavior was always present. He believed that there were times for both.

“...No,” Sans admitted removing his hand from his brother's, but Papyrus just clung to his arm instead. “I-I don't.”

“It's hard to forget things we were raised to believe, right? We are all kind of machines at first in a way. Our parents raise us to be a certain way until we are free to think for ourselves. Some rebel others like who they are. Do you like who you were?” No. He didn't.

“N-...No.”

“Do you like who you are now? Ignore the things we are trying to fix. Who you are without the problems, do you like that skeleton?” Sans thought it over for a moment. Without his illness, did he like himself? He didn't hate himself, but he wasn't exactly fond of himself either. In fact, he leaned more towards dislike at times, but that may be because of the illness. On days where he felt normal and happy Sans was content with himself. He hadn't ever taken the time during those moments to think of himself either. Happy moments were so rare and thinking selfishly ruined them.

“I don't know.”

“Do you know who you are Sans?” Foli questioned and Sans gave her a perplexed look. “If you had to describe yourself how would you? Because a lot of people don't know how to. Just focusing on you is hard. Some people think that their status, job, or family makes them but it doesn't. Grillby is a father and a bar owner, but is that who Grillby really is? Is that who this monster is?” She motioned to the flame and Sans shook his head.

“No, he's more than that,” Sans answered and Foli smiled and nodded.

“We all are. I am not just a therapist and you are not just a brother. We are our own monster when we focus just on us and what we are. Can you focus on just yourself? When you think of the word Sans, what comes to your mind?”

_**“Worthless.”** _

**“M̢a̢c͡h͞ine”**

“I don't know,” Sans mumbled, ignoring his head.

“Sans, can I tell you something?” Foli crossed her arm on the desk and leaned closer.

“Yes?”

“When I was younger, I had no idea who I was too. Well, I had a little idea. I knew I liked helping people. But everyone else at school seemed to have more of an idea. They had their whole lives planned out when I didn't even know what I was having for dinner. I felt really bummed that everyone had found themselves but me. I tried a bunch of clubs and started picking up hobbies. None of them lasted very long though because I wasn't interested in them. I eventually found myself, but you wanna know how long it took.” Sans nodded and Foli leaned forward. “Five years.” She whispered and Sans looked devastated.

“It's going to take that long?!” He cried and Foli sat up.

“Nope! You wanna know why? Because I'm here to lead you on the path I had to find myself. You're still so young Sans. In comparison to how well you have adapted to your new surroundings, you are incredible. It's no wonder you haven't found yourself, yet. You haven't had a moment too! Between taking care of brother and trying to keep yourself stable your schedule is full. But here Sans, this room, these sessions, this is your time. Nothing else in here matters except you.” Foli smiled and Sans was about to before another voice spoke up.

_**“Weak.”** _

Even in here, could Sans really be alone and think of only himself? His voices wouldn't go away. He wasn't ever going to be alone because of that. His thoughts weren't his own. Nothing felt safe when he knew that he was his own problems. Sans couldn't run away from himself, even if he wanted to.

“I have a question.” Sans voiced in a neutral tone. “When will this all go away.” He gestured to his head. Maybe with those gone, he could finally feel safe enough to open up. The skeleton wasn't too confident in that idea, but maybe. 

“Well, um-it's hard to put an exact date on it. You see these things take-” Sans cut Foli off.

“Yeah, they take time. I know. But, can you not like, do something?” Anything.

“I'm not entirely sure what you mean.” The therapist stated and the skeleton felt his sibling squeeze his arm.

_**“Keep that mouth shut.”** _

“Sans is everything alright?” Grillby asked when Sans winced for no reason.

“Yes-No. No. It's not-stop.” Sans rubbed his skull, glaring in frustrating at the ground. He needed to leave. He should leave. “Can we leave?” The bartender appeared concerned, flamed head burning rather low.

“Kiddo, this is where you should be if you something is wrong. Talk to us, we'll help you.” He reassured, but Sans could not believe that.

_**“Leave. Now.”** _

“No. He doesn't like this. Can we go?” Sans immediately froze when he realized what he had spoken. He suddenly feared his now silent skull.

“He? Who do you mean?” Foli asked speaking everyone's mind. Sans whimpered, shaking his head. He shouldn't answer that. Should he? No-Yes? She was here to help. Foli was going to fix this-them. But, the voice didn't sound happy and that frightened Sans. The skeleton wasn't sure if his silent mind was a good thing or not. Any other day he'd kill for this quiet but now he wished for anything to speak.

“Um-...t-the-the-” The skeleton fidgeted before taking a deep breath. He was safe. He was fine. Papyrus was here and Grillby too. Everyone was here to support him, to help him. He just needed to be vocal. “The-ngh, Sans. Sans doesn't like you.” He rushed out, closing his sockets.

“Sans?” The therapist repeated.

“Yeah, he-uh-he...I'm sorry.” His bony hands bunched up the fabric of his jacket. “You told me not too, but I did.” The older skeleton said facing his guardian with a broken expression. “I-I named them?”

“Sans-” Grillby mumbled, but the skeleton cut him off, body tensing up.

“I-I'm sorry! I know you said not to but they just wouldn't stop and calling them different numbers was hard. So, I figured, maybe, if I just gave them names it would be easier to deal with and it was kinda.”

“Sans, please take a deep breath,” Foli told him calmly and Papyrus leaned closer helping his brother calm down. “Sans it is alright if you name your voices. Some monsters do that. I'm just a little, um..the name. Is that not confusing to you?”

“No, they don't call me Sans.” The older brother admitted.

“What do they call you?”

“They all say different things. Sans just calls me names. Bun calls me Sansy. Um-uh, the f-first one just-um, G-G-He-” He shook his head, bones rattling together. “I don't want to-just...I don't want them there anymore. I want them gone.” Sans didn't care what he called them or what they called him. All he wanted was them gone!

**“You̧'̸ll ͘b͟e ͘lonelỳ** , **̶ ̵Sànsy.”**

_**“You think we're the problem? No, even without us you'll still be crazy.”** _

“Sans, are these voices bothering you right now?”

“I want to go,” Sans announced, his voice too loud.

“Perhaps it's best if we leave.” Grillby agreed but Foli seemed nervous.

“Um-Yes, I do understand your wish to leave. But-um, you see it would be best to talk and-”

“I want to go now, please! Now!” Sans demanded, feeling his growing instability rise. He felt too cornered like he was suffocating almost. The anxiety mixed with his illness and the tension in the room were only making his panic grow.

“Sans, it's okay. We're leaving. Can you hear me?” Grillby spoke slowly as he turned the chair to face him, gently resting his hands over the skeletons'. Sans nodded but shrunk away from his touch. The attention directed at him was overwhelming.

“Um-Could you wait? I just would like to erm, try to help? I just-Sans?” She called and the skeleton whimpered.

“I understand that you wish to help.” The bartender said sympathetically. “However, it is really best if we end the session for today.” Grillby stood up ready to go but the therapist became frazzled. Her body made far too many noises as she shuffled around her desk.

“Yes, okay. I get it, but just one second, please. Sans? Can you tell me what color this is?” Foli held up a red apple and Sans looked up at the fruit.

“R-Red.” He answered shakily.

“Yes, red and um-what kind of fruit it is?” Foli held the fruit out more and Sans' only watched her with worry.

“An...apple. I don't understand.” What are these questions?

“What about this.” She tapped her branches against her desk. Sans panic was fading into uncertainty.

“A desk?” Was he answering correctly? What did she expect from him?

“Good, yes. Um, your brother. What pattern is his shirt?” Sans stole a glance at his brother's yellow stripped shirt.

“Strips.” Why was she asking these questions? Why?!

“How-How many monsters are in the room?”

“Four. Why?” The skeleton's voice was firm and Papyrus' grip eased on him.

“What color is that wall?” Foli pointed to the wall behind her and Sans was getting annoyed.

“White! Why do you keep asking these questions?!”

“Do you feel panicked?”

“No! I'm just-” The skeleton's mouth remained open, but not words came out. He wasn't feeling panicked. In fact, he didn't feel anxious at all. He was a little annoyed, but that was washed away by how amazed he was. He could have sworn an attack was coming. How did she manage to calm him down by asking such pointless questions? “What...what did you do?” He questioned unaware how she managed to calm him down.

“Sans, when you get panic attacks like that you tend to um...I guess, bubbled up.” The therapist demonstrated by making a circle with her twiggy hands. “That bubble is your thoughts, your anxiety, and panic. It starts off small but the more you stress the larger it gets before you are trapped. It just traps you and you can't focus on anything else but that, right?” Foli paused in her hand demonstration to look at her patient who nodded. “What you need to do is start practicing on focusing on things around you. Grasp onto what is reality and what isn't. I'm not talking about telling yourself that what you see or hear is real or not. I'm asking you to focus on small things. Look at the colors, pattern, shape of things, tell yourself what those are just like what I did. You tend to lose yourself, right? But when you look at your brother's shirt, the apple, or the desk it keeps you grounded. You have to direct your attention away from here,” she pointed her her head, “and focus on this.” The therapist motioned to the room around her. “Some people count body parts or you could even name your bones but just pulling yourself away from your head and on what is in front of you can help, I believe. Um, yeah. Do you think you can do that for me, Sans?” The skeleton wasn't too convinced he could alone, but that did not mean he couldn't try.

“I can try.” He stated not sounding too convincing.

“I bet you can,” Foli smiled, relaxing some. “And Sans, I will ask Kawa if there is anything he can do right now. At least he should be able to try some antidepressants.” Foli mumbled the last bit to herself.

“Kawa said he'd like to wait before diagnosing anything. He didn't want to give Sans an incorrect diagnosis.” Grillby voiced and Foli bobbed her head.

“Yes, I know, but you see. Well-I'm not an expert, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything but for most cases, a simple antidepressant is often recommended. Most patients in the more severe category are often taking both an antidepressant and another pill as well since we have yet to create one super pill.” Foli forced a rather painful laugh.

“What will an antidepressant do?” Papyrus questioned.

“It just-You know, I think it would be best to ask Kawa about it. I'm not an expert in that field. I don't want to try to talk about-..yeah. Um, anyways, it looks like we are out of time. I think this went very well, all things considered.” Foli rose to her feet and Sans gave her a skeptical look. “I'll see you Friday?” Grillby nodded, rising to his feet.

“Yes, see you again Friday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Grotesque sob* Guyyyys, you are all so nice!!! There was such an overwhelmingly warm response last chapter. I'm sorry I don't reply to everything, but holy moly, you are all just so lovely.
> 
> Also, maybe it's just me, but I imagine Sans being able to cope with things kind of like how I explained it. Grasping onto what is reality and what isn't and focusing in on that. Because like, (Spoilers for Geno run or Sans in general) he gives up, ya know? Later he is aware of what his reality is and how almost pointless it is and just gives up because he knows there's nothing he can do.
> 
> Anyways, sorry this update feels wonky. I vastly underestimated how difficult writing these scenes would be. I either cut everything or it's just dialogue. Beside being really excited about what I have planned next, it would have been a lot simpler to end it or at the very least timeskip this, but bleh. Learn from my mistakes, friends! 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	31. Relapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH JEEZ I MEANT TO UPDATE TWO DAYS AGO HOLY HELL!! Sorry you guys, shits been heading south recently and I lost track of time. Life's decided to throw me a bone for once and things seem to be back to normal now, so yay.
> 
> Thanks you Hannah for the edits, you da bomb.

One month into therapy and things were both the same and different. Everyone wanted to say Sans was getting better, but the word 'better' didn't seem accurate. Sans still had panic attacks, still heard voices, and was still very unstable. However, he had been making great strides in his therapy session and ability to calm himself down from attacks. He was more open and vocal about almost everything. Foli knew about Sans' years alone, the day he met Papyrus, their time together, the training, the injections, the trials, the experiments, almost everything. Sans still struggled with getting too detailed, but he at least was able to get a very basic and slightly evasive reply out instead of flat out rejections.

Kawa had also started the skeleton on an antidepressant. Grillby was all too familiar with the pill and was relieved to finally be able to relate to his child's struggle. Sans had been very wary of the medication because of its side effects and overall change it did to him. But after a few weeks on the medicine, he became used to the drowsiness it caused and had even allowed Kawa to up the dosage. The pill didn't act how Sans had expected it to. He didn't feel happier or even more relieved. He felt very neutral and almost numb in a way. He had voiced his effects to his doctor, but Kawa told him that it was normal. The antidepressant wasn't a happy pill. The medication simply helped balance Sans out which caused him to be more emotionless and numb instead of depressed and anxious. It would help give Sans the emotional stability he had lost and the skeleton was okay with that.

Having his brother more secure had also eased Papyrus' internal burden as well. During therapist sessions with his brother, Foli or Grillby would get Papyrus to speak his mind as well. Papyrus had a bad habit of internalizing his emotions and acting very self-reliant beside not being able to handle his problems alone. Papyrus still struggled to express his more negative emotions, but he was trying. Even if he said 'I am a little bit bothered by-' instead of 'I am upset that you-' progress was still being made. Both skeletons were improving.

School would be back in session for the two children in a few weeks. Last week Kawa had told Sans he'd like to see him for a check up on his medication and to hopefully give him a full diagnosis. Papyrus was the most excited out of the small family. Sans and Grillby were more nervous, but still trying to focus on the positive aspect of finally being able to understand what was causing the older skeleton so much trouble.

“So, how has the medication been? Any issues at all?” Kawa asked with his usual smile.

“Been the same,” Sans replied with a shrug, kicking his legs back and forth to settle his nerves.

“Great! That's wonderful news!” The psychiatrist beamed before he appeared more calm and reassuring. “Now, after talking with Foli and reading over her reports, I can confidently say I have pinpointed Sans' mental illness down. I'd also like to add that situations like this are difficult to name solely because very little is known about these more severe problems. The difference between some of these illnesses can be so small that it is overlooked. Especially with an illness like schizoaffective-disorder.” The three started at the doctor with puzzled looks.

“He has schizophrenia?” Grillby asked, suddenly feeling heavy.

“No, schizoaffective-disorder is not schizophrenia. Schizoaffective-disorder means he has symptoms of both schizophrenia and another major mood disorder such as depression or anxiety together. Usually most disorders such as ADHD or schizophrenia cause depression or mood swings by themselves. However, schizoaffective-disorder is not having schizophrenia that causes depression, but having schizophrenic symptoms and depression symptoms as well, which Sans has. You see schizophrenia itself is often misdiagnosed as PTSD or another extreme psychological disorder. But, as I'm sure you are aware Grillby, Sans doesn't suffer from PTSD. Sans also does not suffer from schizophrenia, anxiety, or depression alone. He has schizoaffective-disorder. I've had my assumptions as first that Sans was more schizophrenic than anything else but due to how severe that assumption is, I had to make sure before even bringing it up and I'm glad I did. To just label him as schizophrenic would be incorrect entirely.”

“I don't understand. If I have the symptoms why don't I have the disease?” Sans questioned

“Illness Sans, not a disease.” Kawa politely corrected. “And just because you have a runny nose and sore throat does not mean you have a cold. The thing with schizoaffective-disorder is that it isn't one illness, but two separate ones together, or rather their symptoms at least. Depression is an illness, schizophrenia is an illness, panic disorder is an illness. Although having schizophrenia can cause depression or overall sadness and loss of interest and mobility, depression is still an illness by itself. You do have it, depression the illness and that means that you aren't just schizophrenic, but that you have schizoaffective-disorder.”

“How exactly did you come to this conclusion?” Grillby wondered, trying to process the information.

“Sans' symptoms are pointing at severe mental illnesses or disorder. Psychosis is a type of mental state that directly impairs thoughts and perception which is Sans' symptoms specifically. Schizophrenia, bipolar, clinical depression, these are illnesses that can be related to a psychosis mentality. Common schizophrenic symptoms can be delusions, hallucinations, disorganized thinking, odd or unusual behavior, lack of emotional expression or movement, poor motivation, communication issues, and an over lack of will. Sans may not have all of those but he has enough to help label him.” Kawa took in a deep breath, unable to fully hide his uneasy expression.

“I do feel like I should tell you right now that this is a lifelong illness that currently has no cure.”

“What?” Sans whispered, his face contorted into the look of utter devastation.

“However, that does not mean that it has to affect you're like this forever. We can help with treatments.” Kawa quickly added.

“Why won't it go away?!” The elder skeleton cried terrified by the idea of being stuck with his instability forever.

“Sans, please take in some deep breaths for me. I promise you I will answer all your questions and help you.” Kawa told the frantic skeleton. “The cause of schizoaffective disorder is unknown, but there are things we have studied that can be a factor in it. Genetics, Magic and Soul structure and functions, and environmental factors can all be a cause. Since your genetics are unknown to an extent, we have no way or linking that connection. But, due to what you have told us about your--erm, construction, it is likely that it could be a link. Also, your environment and overall upbringing are no doubt a large possible factor in all this as well. That toxic and stressful environment is-” Kawa's mouth was left open as he struggled to find a word to match how horrific the entire situation was. “Sans, it seems like right now that this is bad and overall horrific news, but you don't know how lucky you are to have just this one illness. That transition, your entire journey so far has been a miracle and seemingly impossible. To walk away from all that with, as odd as it is to say, with the just schizoaffective disorder, is remarkable. Even Papyrus, you two are mysteries to the medical field. I wouldn't have thought it possible to see you two as alive and happy as you are now given your past.”

“What do you mean?” Papyrus asked in a soft voice. “Why are we so mysterious? How is it a miracle?”

“Because I or anyone is aware of how Sans came to the decision to just leave. Because Sans has still not talked about it the choice is unknown, but regardless of what it is he still ended up leaving. To only know one area your entire life and live in constant fear and oppression like that takes a toll on you mentally. You over time developed a sense of helplessness and acceptance of where you are and who you are because of what is around you and told you. This is what Sans is currently trying to get over in therapy. Breaking out of what he had always known and becoming who he should have been. Destroying that ingrained mentality is far more difficult than people realize. To make a decision to go against everything you have ever known and every instinct that has been drilled into you is a painfully hard thing choice to make let alone act upon. For Sans rebel against his terror and helplessness and leave is almost unheard of given the situation.”

“Even now, Sans should not logically be acting the way he is now. Looking at who Sans once was when he first had met Grillby is astonishing and perplexing. To comparing that Sans to the one now is fine. The transition is normal, it makes sense. I can logically follow his feelings and choices and comprehend them. That transition between the Sans in the Labs and the Sans you first met Grillby, doesn't make sense. And I fear how and what caused that transition because it is not healthy.” Kawa paused for a second, his expression serious. “In an instant, Sans had managed to repress everything and force out a new part of him. Doing that brought him to where he is today, alive, with you, and extremely unstable. You can't repress things forever. The more you bottle it up and the more you repress, the stronger the force of it all coming back will be. Sans had managed to create some spontaneous remission. Now those memories and feeling are returning and Sans is mostly likely still on his way towards a relapse. Judging by a number of repressed feelings and thoughts, the size of the relapse will be massive. San's own ability to cope and deal with it may not be enough to help him and he could end up having an overall mental breakdown that could not only set him back to the beginning we know but bring back old habits that were prevalent during his times in the Labs.” The room was painfully still and silent. The family of three all shared a different look of pure horror and sorrow. The doctor sat up, fueled by his passion and determination.

“But, I am going to do everything I can to not allow that to happen. If Sans continues to go to therapy and progress as he has been there should be no trouble at all. The hardest part of this entire ordeal is the medication for schizoaffective disorder. They can either be a mood stabilizer, antipsychotic, or an antidepressant. We already have him on an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer tend to be more for bipolar but are still an option just in case. I would like to start him on an antipsychotic right away. Other ways to help are psychotherapy and educating him in ways so he can help himself, but he is getting enough right now with his current therapist. The psychotherapy can be done with me when or if Sans feels like he would like to do it. It is different from regular therapy. Psychotherapy revolved more around the apply scientifically valid procedures to help Sans develop healthier and more effective habits. That is a step for later. Right now, the big hurdle is the medication. There is no one specific medication for Sans' disorder and the ones we have varied from monster to monster. The challenge will be finding the right antipsychotic. It often takes a few tries, but some really struggle with the side effects which makes this more challenging. With these medications, you cannot just stop taking it right away. Sans will be on the lowest dosage possible, but these antipsychotics alter and attempt to balance out the magic, soul, and energy levels that are out of line. Because it is so directly related to a monster's life, stopping it could cause withdrawn symptoms and even damage to the monster which is not a chance we can risk with Sans. It is crucial Sans,” The doctor stared at his patient with a firm gaze, “that the moment something negative happens to you while on the medication, you have to come see me or get help. I would also recommend while Sans is trying these medications out that he is not left alone. This may result in him missing some school, but it would be best. The medication can take anywhere from three weeks to four months to really take effect, but some see improvement or symptoms within a week or so. It all depends on how Sans reacts to the medicine.”

“Each new pill-well, I say pill, but there are other methods. Sans had been very good about taking his medication daily so far, but if he becomes more forgetful some of these medicines do come in an injectable form.”

“NO!” The skeleton cried scrambling away from the edge of the chair, desperate to get away from Kawa at the mention of the word. Kawa raised his hands trying to appear peaceful.

“Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I knew you would not be interested in that, but I needed to inform you. Your medication will be in pill form and only that.” Kawa reassured, but Sans remained cowering behind his family. “I-, I'm just going to move along. Not mentioning it again, alright? Okay. So, the medicine will have a different effect and Sans will be continuing his antidepressant while on it. The antidepressant should not have an effect or react negatively to the medication, but I may lower or up the dosage depending on the reaction he gets. These new medications will be a lot stronger than your antidepressant, Sans. Minor symptoms could include headaches and the regular ones you experience now. But, some do have common major issues like an increase in instability and vivid hallucinations. Those major ones tend to form as the dosage gets higher and shouldn't occur during the smaller dosages, but I do want to tell you everything that could happen. Even on the smaller dosage that seems effective, raising it could turn negative very quickly. This is why you will continue your therapy during the medication and if possible, find other outlets to help cope as well.” The doctor folded his hands together taking in a deep breath and releasing it slowly.

“This Sans will be a challenge,” Kawa admitted unable to lie. “You have been very brave and strong up until now, but your limits could be tested while we try to find you the best medication. Of course, in the end, it's up to you to take it or not. It's a big leap that I do recommend for you, but I cannot and do not want you doing unless you want to. Do you have any questions right now?”

“W-Why is the medicine like that?” Sans whimpered, visibly frightened. “How is that safe? Why does it do that? Those side effects are bad.”

“They are safe because they will not hurt you physically. But these pills aren't your regular medication. These are things that if abused can hurt you which is why we doctors have to be really safe and sure when we prescribe them. Sans do you-oh hold on.” Kawa turned over a paper on his clipboard and pulled a pen out of his pocket. “Alright, do you remember when we talked about your antidepressant? How I told you about the effects and how it works?” Kawa began drawing a half-decent body shape with a soul inside of it. “We are made of magic, right? Magic and all of its properties is what makes us function and what form us. Your bones, my face, how Grillby burns, and how you stay together. It's all done with magic. But, sometimes magic is funny, yeah? You need some medicine that helps your magic stabilize itself.” Kawa drew a wavy line as he talked before he straightened it to the best of his ability near the end of his talk. “Your antidepressant helps give you a little bit of magical help. It's very mild, right? You feel different, but it's not drastic. These antipsychotic do change you to a degree. Sans if your voices and panic attacks, and all your troubles went away that would be pretty big wouldn't it?”

“Yeah...” The skeleton answered uncertainly.

“A pretty big change needs a pretty big solution. Those who live Above ground have different bodies. They have organs, blood, a brain, all these things that create them. We do not have that. Externally, we do, you have bones and I have fur and what not, but internally all we are is magic and a soul. That magic works in mysterious ways that have yet to really be discovered until this day. We know there are different kinds and that magic can form an attack, but we are not able to separate that overall magical energy into smaller subgroups. It's your overall magic, the magic within you, that controls you, that is out of balance. Because of that, these medications have to be so safe and so carefully watched and given because we are trying to stabilize  _you_. That process takes time.”

“When we give you a pill to try first, it will acclimate itself to your magic. Once it does that, it will begin to stabilize and try to make it look more like this,” Kawa pointed to the straight line, “and less like this.” He moved the writing utensil to the wavy line. “You see, the medication has a hard time, sometimes, finding the right things to fix and stabilize because remember, magic as a whole and not parts. We don't know how the medication will react until it does. All our products are safe, they work, and there are monsters who use them. Just like with your antidepressant, there are different kinds because sometimes one doesn't work for another. Fortunately, we were lucky with our first try and I hope we can be that fortunate once more. If not, we will try again as long as you want to.”

“For your situations Sans, remember, you aren't just one issue you are two. Your depression situation we took care of.” Kawa wrote down the word 'depression' and set a straight line next to it followed by a smiley face. “Now, we are dealing with your schizophrenic symptoms.” Kawa wrote down the word 'symptoms' and a wavy line next to it. “I know I can help you again. Everything I talked about that is scary is only the worst case scenario. Most don't experience those just like you didn't on your antidepressants. You don't have to be afraid and you aren't alone. I will tell you everything I know and can about the medicine so even if that worst case happens, you can be prepared for it. Nothing will be a surprise and you won't be suffering from something you don't know how to fix. I will tell all of you what to do, how to help, and who to contact. Anything at all, just to ensure that you feel safe. And Sans,” Kawa rested the clipboard against his legs, his eyes locking onto Sans in the most sincere and meaningful faze the skeleton had ever held.

“Sans, do you trust me?” The doctor asked and Sans took in a sharp inhale.

Trust. Sans handed out trust to few and held the word sacred above all else. Sans didn't believe in kindness and the goodness in everyone. Everyone was a threat and an enemy, even still. Having Sans' trust meant more than anything. Sans trusted Papyrus, Grillby, and even Bonnie but did he trust Kawa? Would Sans believe in a doctor? Would he put his life, his soul, his crippling stability in the hands of someone he not only knew very little about but could also hurt him and end up breaking him just like Gaster?...No.

“Yes.” But he'd try to.

Kawa patiently answered every question the three had. He went into detail about the illness, medications, effects, every little question Papyrus would ask was answered. Sans had warily agreed to start the new medication the doctor had prescribed to him. Kawa went into great detail about it, explaining when to take it, what to take it with and what to do during any worst case situations. It was a lot of information to take in but Sans absorbed every word.

“Please, do remember Sans,” Kawa told the skeleton once their meeting was over. “Do not stop taking the medication. If there is an issue come to me right away. Are you sure you don't have any more questions?” Sans shook his head, his legs a little shaky.

“No, I got it,” Sans told him.

“I'm here whenever you need, alright? I'll see you again in a week.”

The next morning Sans spent a solid hour staring at the pill bottle with his antipsychotics inside. He was directed to take them in the morning with food. Sans' appetite was nonexistent, though, and he ended up forcing down a piece of toast before taking a deep breath and swallowing the small blue pill with an entire glass of water. Grillby and Papyrus were both keeping themselves busy, but Sans knew that just like him, they were waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. In fact, nothing happened for a few days. Sans continued his therapy and Foli asked about his medication and he told her it had no effect. It wasn't until a week had passed that he felt something.

Sans felt extremely lethargic and twitchy. He could not find the strength to get out of bed and his toes and fingers would oddly convulse and wiggle without being ordered to do so. Sans also felt more panicked and uneasy but tried his best to remain calm. It felt as if it took the entire weight of the world to get up, but he forced himself to and slowly made his way to Grillby's room where demanded they see Kawa right away. Sans was eased off the medication and started up on another one. He was less nervous this time but still wary.

This one Sans had started calling pill B, seemed to be working fine. There was occasional twitching but nothing Sans couldn't handle. It wasn't until three days before he was supposed to return to school that the medication went south and caused a mood swings and frequent bursts of panic that more often than not, lead to a mild or large attack.

Now on pill C, another name of San's choosing, the skeleton was emotionally drained of the entire ordeal. He had no faith in the medication but still continued to take it by his inner Papyrus hoping that maybe one of them would work. School was in session now and Sans did not attend. Alternative methods of education were discussed, but Sans was too overstimulated and exhausted with his mental problems to deal with his education. He spent his days with Grillby or Bonnie, being handed off to whichever one had more time to watch him. Sans did not mind or complain knowing his inability to be left alone was a burden on everyone.

“Alright, so no issues?” Kawa asked on Sans' second check up. Four weeks had passed and so far, the medication was doing its job.

“Nothing bad like before,” Sans told him. “Still twitchy and sleepy but nothing bad.”

“Excellent, now, the next dosage is the one I want you to be on. Most of your mild symptoms are gone, but on the next dosage your hallucinations should be gone as well.” Sans smiled at the thought of his skull belonging to him once more. “So, you will continue to take the new one just like you are. We will see the effects and how well it works and move on from there. Please do remember what I told you, Sans. The larger side effects we discussed are more likely to occur as the dosage gets higher and as you continue to use the medicine. If I can treat them like the twitching or more moodier side effects, then that is fine. It seems a bit bizarre to treat medication with more medication, but if this works for you and I can help minimize the negatives then it works out, don't you think?”

“Yea, I understand.” The skeleton said and Kawa sent him off with a new prescription.

Sans continued his life, as usual, feeling no effect yet, positive or negative. It was currently Saturday afternoon. Papyrus and Sans were in the living room playing with some toys. Bonnie had come over to help Grillby sort through Papyrus' clothes. She had noticed the young skeleton's pants and shirt riding up and demanded a new shopping trip at once after donating the old clothes. After hours of trying on clothes, Papyrus demanded a break and they gave him one.

“Hey, Sans?” The smaller child called, pausing in his car movement.

“What's up?” The sibling replied, clicking the toy car together.

“What did Gaster do that made me give up?” Sans froze, pupils faded and grin tense. He could not have prepared himself for that question even if he knew it was coming. The happy aura faded and Sans' smile fell. His body remained tense as he set down the toy, eyes glued to the floor.

“He hurt you.” The skeleton told his brother who looked torn between shutting his mouth and continuing on.

“Y-Yes, but...how?” How? Sans didn't know how. He knew the cause, he remembered it well. Those screams were unforgettable.

“I messed up. I didn't listen and you got hurt.” The skeleton fingers dragged against the carpet as his hand curled up. His sockets were hollow and empty, his breathing becoming shallow. “I didn't...listen. He told me to hurt them, but I didn't. You didn't want me to and so he-” Sans struggled to breathe as a sudden pulse of magic spark within him. Overwhelmed. Overstimulated. Stop. Breath. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about that day.

He couldn't.

“Sans, I'm sorry. You don't have to talk about it.” Papyrus apologized reaching out to his sibling, but Sans flinched away, an airy laugh escaping him.

“Y-You screamed so loudly. It was-It was my fault, but he hurt you. H-He broke you.” Sans rambled.

 

~*~

 

 _“_ _Brother!” Papyrus_ _shouted_ _as Gaster stepped closer, needl_ _e_ _hovering over his eye socket._ _The contents shimmered and radiated a haunting colors Sans could never forget._ _It was so small but so agonizing._ _The older skeleton_ _pounded against the glass, screaming but unable to do anything._ _He had disobeyed. He refused to kill the creatures before him and Gaster was fed up with his behavior. Sans quickly_ _summoned the blasters like he was supposed to. “Sans! Help me, Sans!” Papyrus struggled against the restraints and Gaster grabbed his head_ _to steady him._

_“Stop! STOP! I'll do it! I'll kill them just stop!!!” Sans begged, his blasters already charging and taking aim. Gaster raised his arm for a second, waiting before shaking his head._

_“This is what happens when you disobey,” Gaster spoke in a clear and calm voice. “Remember 01S, you have only yourself to blame. This is all your fault.” With a swift movement he brought his hand back down piecing Papyrus' skull, the child shrieked as Sans blasters fired screaming along with his sibling._

 

_~*~_

 

“SANS!” Sans snapped out of his daze. He spun around eyes landing on Papyrus who looked terrified. Sans raised his hand feeling his burning eye and quickly covering it up as he tried to will it away. Papyrus seemed too afraid to move, shaking where he sat on the ground his eyes darting between his brother and something behind him. Sans turned to follow the gaze. His blaster was behind him pointed at two bodies on the floor. Sans looked at the stairs that had been blackened and were smoking after a blast. His pinprick pupils dragged along until he spotted Grillby on the ground in front of Bonnie. Grillby had remained as calm as possible, eyes darting between Sans and the blaster pointed at him. Bonnie looked horrified, cowering behind the element who was using himself as a shield preventing any attack from touching her.

 **“** **Dár͞n̨, ͞y͠ou almost ̛h̴ad͟ ͜them!”**

Had Sans tried to hurt them? Was he about to kill them?

 **_“_ ** **_You could still.”_ **

The skeleton stepped away, his legs giving out. He fell on his back, body rattling loudly. The blaster vanished and the two adults visibly relaxed.

 **“** **G͢r̷e̵át,̡ t̷h͝e ͡fùń is ̵over.͢** **”**

 ******_“_ ** **_Way to go, psycho.”_ **

He had lost control. His anger, his fear, his rage had consumed him. Sans lost control. He didn't even remember summoning his blaster or firing it. He didn't even recall losing his hold on reality. His insanity just took over. He didn't have a choice he-

 **“** **You allowed me to.”**

Sans jumped, at the sound of the voice. He let out a yelp when someone touched his shoulder. Papyrus stood by him and Sans watched him, unsure of what to do.

“Pap,” Sans breathed out, suddenly feeling very weak. What had happened? He was about to kill them. He was going to kill them and he would feel no remorse. He wouldn't have even been aware. Sans felt Papyrus wrap his arms around his brother and Sans latched onto him.

“Papyrus, I'm so sorry.” Sans apologized unaware of what else to say. The memories, the flashbacks, they poisoned his vision, his mental state. The fear and memories controlled him as the voices continued to whisper, voice echoing in his skull.

 **_“_ ** **_You failed.”_ **

**“** **Com̡e ǫn̨, Sa͡ns̀y. ͟I̡t's̸ all ̷f̕u̢n an҉d͢ ͟gam̕es!”**

He ignored the voices trying to focus on the world around him. He was safe at home. Grillby was here. Grillby would help. No one was hurt. The voices weren't real. Gaster wasn't alive. Gaster wouldn't get him here. Gaster wasn't here.

 **“** **Aren't I?”** The skeleton released a loud whimper.

“Sans, are you okay?” The element asked, inching closer to his child. Sans gazed at him, mortified by his own uncontrollable actions. Sans could not find his voice. He shook his head and mouthed the word 'no'.

“Sans,” Grillby began, but Sans let out a loud sob. He pushed away from his brother, curling in on himself as he wailed.

“I didn't mean to!” Sans cried out and Grillby crouched next to his child. “I-I didn't know what-H-He-I-I couldn't-” The skeleton couldn't form coherent sentences over his heavy sobs.

“Sans, deep breaths, breath with me.” Grillby gently uncurled his son, holding his head in his hand as he looked into Sans eyes. “In,” Grillby took a deep breath, Sans attempted to but it was very shaky and a sob escaped halfway through as he heard the whispers in his skull.

 **_“_ ** **_Pathetic.”_ **

**“** **C͞r͡yb͡a̢by.”**

 **“** **You've gotten so pathetically weak. Sniveling like a spoiled child.”**

 ****He flinched, head snapping in the direction he heard Gaster's voice. Grillby looked as well, staring at the empty space in concern. Sans pupils vanished, mouth moving as he muttered to himself.

“He's not here. Safe. Grillby will help. He's not here. Safe. Grillby will help. He's-”

 **“** **No one will help. You know that. Do I need to remind you, 01S?”**

“Sans?” Grillby shook his child lightly and his white dots returned with more tears.

“He's in my head. Grillby he's there.” Sans whispered and Grillby felt his body heat lower drastically. “They won't stop talking. He's there and made me do it I know he did.” Sans said in a shaking voice.

“Sans, it's alright. Everything is alright.” 

 **“** **You were always so easily manipulated, 01S.** **Sit, stand, walk, kill.** **”**

“He's here!” Sans cried, clawing at his skull. “I thought he was hurting Papyrus but it-it was just a memory and I-I almost killed you.” Sans shivered violently despite Grillby natural warmth enveloping him. “I didn't know. I didn't know it was bad. I never wanted to, I had to. I had to or else Papyrus would-he had Papyrus and he hurt him and he-” Sans gagged, his entire body shaking, bones rattling. “I had to. I had to or else Papyrus would-I had to. I-” The bartender hushed Sans rocking him as Sans muttered to himself.

“Sans, you need to calm down. Remember what Foli said.” Grillby spoke softly into Sans skull. “You are with me, in your home with Papyrus and Bonnie. No one is going to hurt you. You are safe.”

**“You will never be safe.”**

Sans sobbed, face buried in Grillby's shirt.

“H-he hurt Papyrus because of me and I had to or else he'd do it again. I didn't want to kill the creature, but I had to. I had to. I was supposed to. I'm not a monster, he said I wasn't. I was a weapon, I was made to hurt people. I never wanted to hurt them. He made me, he made me do it. I killed all the subjects because he told me to. I killed him because he told me to. I had to. I had to or else Papyrus would have died.  **It's all my fault. It was all my fault.** ” Sans was lost, staring off as he rambled to himself, words fading into the unfamiliar tongue Grillby knew nothing of. The bartender tried to catch some of the words, but his lack of understanding made it pointless to even try. Sans shoved him aside, the tips of his fingers scratching his skull as he rambled.

 **“** **Don't speak. Don't breath. Don't move. Obey. Three steps back. Head down. Up. Leave. Enter room. Remove robe. Report. Table. Injection. Report. Robe. Room.”**

“Sans please, I don't-”

“I wanted to die,” Sans whispered, black hole eyes burning holes in the carpet. “It hurt so bad.” Sans scraped his hand down his arm, scratching the area his scar once was. “My name, he carved it. I hated it. I wanted to die. He marked me, I was property. I was his. He wanted to make Papyrus his, I could-I could-It hurt so bad. I had to get rid of it, I had to. I shaved it off, Papyrus couldn't see it. Couldn't see what I was, what he was supposed to be. I could let him see that. Property. His weapon. His. Gaster's Experiment.  _His_.”

 **“** **WD01S,** **introduce** **.** **”**

“Sans,” Grillby held Sans' hand, preventing him from carving into the bone. Sans gaze snapped up to Grillby. His sockets were black holes, boring into Grillby's soul.

“WD01S, Font series WingDing, experiment 01, Sans. Doctor Gaster. WingDing. WD02P, Font series WingDing, experiment two, Papyrus.” Sans spoke in an alarmingly neutral tone despite his tears and trembling. “WD01S, Wing Ding, experiment 01, Sans. Doctor Gaster. WingDing. WD02P, Font series WingDing, experiment two, Papyrus. WD01S, Wing Ding, experiment 01, Sans. Doctor Gaster. WingDing. WD02P, Font series WingDing, experiment two, Papyrus! WD01S, WINGDING EXPERIMENT 01-”

 

~*~

 

 _“_ **_Preparing second determination injection. Subject 01S are you ready?_ ** _” Sans nodded_ _uselessly_ _,_ _eyes squeezed shut as he felt the needle piece the bone. “Try not to scream so loudly_ _this time_ _._ _”_ _I_ _n_ _a matter of_ _second_ _s_ _felt a rush of energy followed by burning. As if his entire body was on fire, Sans screamed,_ _convulsing_ _and tugging at the straps_ _th_ _at_ _held him down._

 _“It hurts! Stop! PLEASE STOP!_ **_STOP!!!_ ** _” Sans screamed, but his begging did nothing. When he felt another wave of fire wash over him, he released another shriek that echoed off the walls. Gaster leaned away, covering the sides of his head as he winced. The only feeling and thought in the experiment's mind was the pain in his body. After another way, the agony vanished as the world blackened and Sans' prayed he wouldn't wake up._

 

~*~

 

Grillby held Sans down as he screamed, thrashing around. Words were useless and this was all the bartender could do to prevent his child from hurting himself. As suddenly as it started, Sans went limp, passing out on the ground. Grillby went still, watching Sans remain motionless before noticing the slow rise of his chest and relaxing. The room was silent, the air still as everyone watched the skeleton on the ground. The guardian delicately picked the skeleton up after several minutes had passed. Sans remained unconscious and unmoving as the flame rose to his feet, cradling his child against his chest. Papyrus and Bonnie followed Grillby as he awkwardly stepped on his ruined stairs and entered the children's bedroom. He placed Sans on the bed, pulling the covers over him and stared. 

“Bonnie.” The element spoke in an exhausted tone. “Please get me my cell phone.” Bonnie was gone in a flash and Papyrus stood next to his guardian, gripping onto the front of his shirt tightly.

“W-...What happened?” His voice was almost unheard, tears rolling down his face.

“I don't know,” Grillby answered and Papyrus swallowed, shoulder shaking as he repressed a sob.

“Is he going to be okay?” Grillby's flamed head lowered as he bawled up his hands. His body flickered between dark blue and orange giving the younger brother the answer he already knew.

“...I don't know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ending was not suppose to happen AT ALL! The next few chapters were suppose to happen in a COMPLETETLY different way but hey, shit happens. Actually, the next chapter and that little end bit of flashback was one of the first things I wrote for this fic. Maybe I'll post what it was suppose to be later but you guys..haha...it's finally here...AT LONG LAST MY BIG PLOT IDEA IS FINALLY COMING OUT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Couch* Anyways...
> 
> I'm nervous for this chapter because of two reasons. 1) My knowledge is google based only so if there are error or you have anything I am mentioning and I am making it out to be something it's not please tell me! 2) This is also my experience with certain topics discussed to an extent. Although I was never a fan of antidepressants, the effect Sans has is the effect I kinda-sorta-not really had mixed with the feelings people I knew experienced. That feeling was just and overall neutral/numb type feeling. Antidepressant very often void you of emotions (in..a good way?) in my experience with them, but for the sake of the fic and for those who didn't have my experience/those I know, Sans is more neutral instead of just void of everything. Basically, everything actually medical with the disorder, info about it and medicine is google and the magic stuff is just my head and I mixed the two together. The side effects are also all stories I have read when looking through antipsychotic medication. None of this is 100% certain or doctor approved and these topics are indeed iffy because antipsychotic, schizophrenia, and such are very different for people. So, yeah. I hope...it's all good?
> 
> Guys for real, over 1,000 kudos. That's unreal. Thank you much, I just...can't even. Thank you so much! I might try to do something for that since I have some free time due to my tablet breaking *shed a tear*. Sad, but there's little to do and I have more time to write which is a plus(ish). Thank you all so very very very very very much! I hope you all are well and if not, hang in there. You guys make my day 10 times brighter with the comments and support and I can only hope and wish you all the best no matter what it is. Test, school job, work, whatever it is I wish you the best of luck.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question


	32. Gaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheers to you Hannah, you devilish human you.

_Papyrus didn't speak to Sans after_ _he was returned to their room two days after the injection_ _. Once Sans fired the Blasters at the_ _creatures_ _, killing them instantly, Gaster stopped operating on Papyrus. The injected_ _determination_ _was already inside, though, and Papyrus had not moved since h_ _e passed out_ _. Gaster had one of the scientists take Sans to his room, where he waited for_ _days_ _before Papyrus returned. Papyrus' face was bandaged on the left side. His gaze was glued to the ground while his face m_ _irrored the same_ _look Sans saw_ _whenever he caught his reflection in the metal surfaces around the rooms. That broken, beaten look, it killed Sans. All his brother did was curl up in their sleeping corner, not moving or speaking until the next day._

_When the door opened the next morning, Sans stood up expecting his name to be called, but to his horror it was Papyrus'. Sans was about to argue, but he stopped as his brother just stood up and walked over to the door like a machine. One injection and his brother was gone. How could he not be? Papyrus' only hope in the world was Sans, and now he knew that his older brother could do nothing to protect him. The hope that Sans would come and save the day was lost, because Sans was weak and useless. Gaster could and would do anything he wanted no matter what Sans and Papyrus had to say about it. They weren't monsters, they didn't feel, they didn't act. They only obeyed._

_The next few days Gaster had only called Papyrus out of the room. By the third day, the bandage was gone, but Papyrus was weak, barely able to move. The fourth, Sans had to carry him to the corner, the younger sibling falling to the ground unable to get up. When the fifth day came, Papyrus didn't wake up and Sans was finally called out of the room._

_“_ **_Weak,_ ** _” Gaster muttered to himself in his language. Sans sat himself down on the table, awaiting the doctor's requests, watching him prepare the paperwork. Gaster had a small orange folder open with very few papers inside. The scientist pressed down on a button to a machine and continued scribbling on the sheets muttering words to himself._

 _“_ **_Too weak, lacks the ability to handle determination. 02P Unable to handle magic injections. Too frail to use as a weapon._ ** **_Scrap._ ** _”_

_Sans' breath caught in his throat as Gaster pulled a large red marker out of his pocket and drew a big 'X' over the orange folder. He pushed it aside and pulled out a new green one along with a thick blue one with Sans' name on it._

_“_ **_01S complete success minus attachment. Body withstanding determination and_ ** ******************************************************************************************************_magic_ ** **********_e_** ** _nhancements_** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **_._** **********_WD01S, report_** **** **** _._ _” Sans stiffened as his name was called, but quickly answered._

_“All senses are functional. No pain or discomfort of any kind can be felt. No stiffness, problems with movement, or determination side effect felt. No magic out-” Gaster held up his hand and the skeleton silenced himself._

_“_ **_Two more tests to be completed before subject is ready for the king. Begin process of new partner once tests are complete._ ** _” Gaster picked up his pen and Sans watched as he wrote down 'WD03T'. “_ **_H-P not_ ** **_too aware_ ** **** **_and_ ** ******************************_not strong enough to handle determination injections. Creations of R and T will begin if 01S is successful._ ** _” Gaster stopped the recording and Sans gripped onto his small hospital gown._

_“Sir?” A blue monster knocked on the door and entered, causing Sans to look away._

_“Is the machine ready to be tested?” Gaster asked, not looking up from the file._

_“The machine is functional Doctor Gaster, however, our calculations regarding the amount of determination to magic needed to withstand the leap were off.”_

_“WD01S is more than capable of handling the changes. That's what I have been training him for. The amount I injected was far above the amount calculated before hand anyways.” The scientist stated in a dull tone._

_“I understand that, but you should really look it over the report yourself. They are extremely strong, even for Sans.”_

_“S,” Gaster corrected in a harsh tone before continuing. “01S is capable of handling anything. He adapts, I made him adaptable. You can manage, can't you 01S?” Gaster turned to the skeleton who nodded, never looking up. “We need a new subject. Remove WD02P and recycle as much as possible to decipher what went wrong. I want a full evaluation by the end of the week. There's no reason why 02P is unable to handle .2ml of determination let alone one magic infusion. Tell the king his idea has failed as I expected it to.”_

_The experiment's head shot up, eyes wide at the unknown knowledge just given to him. Recycle Papyrus? Went wrong? Nothing was wrong with him! He was perfect before Gaster ruined him and now he wanted to get rid of him because of his mistake?_

_“Extracting the variables will kill 02P. Would you like us to go ahead and continue?”_

_“Kill?!” Sans cried out and Gaster turned around and glared. Sans cowered away, ignoring the pitiful look the blue monster gave him._

_“No, nevermind. I will remove it after I've finished here. I don't want anyone else touching the variables.” With a nod, the monster left and Sans began to shake under the gaze of the doctor._

_He was going to kill his brother. That's all Sans had left, that's all he ever had. He couldn't take him away! Sans won't allow that to happen! But he was weak, useless, pathetic. He was property, Gaster's property._

_“_ **_Up._ ** _” Sans remained still, more out of fear than anything else. He felt a large shove from behind, knocking him to the ground. “_ **_Stand up._ ** _” Sans tried, but his limbs were jelly. Feeling the doctor's magic wrap around his throat, Sans was dragged out of the room and down the hall. Gaster swiped his card on a door Sans had never entered before. The only object in the room was a large machine that hummed with energy. The doctor stood in front of it, dropping Sans to the ground as he marveled at the machine. Gaster opened up the large, heavy door, grinning at the blackness inside. Sans shrunk back, feeling the intensity radiating out of the black void. Gaster turned to Sans, the same horrifying grin on his face that haunted his dreams._

_“You don't even know how lucky you are to be part of this machine 01S. Prove to me how strong you really are, and I will let 02P live.” Sans knew it was a lie. Gaster didn't keep useless things. Papyrus was worthless in his eyes and even if he was his only bargaining chip with Sans, he still wouldn't keep him. Papyrus made Sans happy, and Sans wasn't allowed happiness. Things didn't feel happy._

_“Ready?” A voice called from behind the glass Sans just now noticed. His large sockets darted between Gaster and the machine that practically crushed him by the amount of power oozing out of it. The skeleton couldn't even kill or stand up to Gaster and the scientist wanted to throw him in there?! He'd die! He'd die and then Papyrus would have no one to be with before his own death. This was suicide. Sans could do nothing to save his brother and nothing to save himself. All options lead to death. There were only dead ends._

_“_ **_Testing Void on subject WD01S. If successful experiment will be able to withstand the stress of time tearing and dismantling. Subject will then be ready to undergo final test of time jump before being completed. If failed, Subject will be torn apart. If subject is to die, make note to separate T and R from each other until completed. Allowing attachment failed._ ** _” Gaster finished and pocketed the small recorder. The skeleton couldn't help but whimper as the scientist's shadow loomed over his small frame._

_“Prepare yourself 01S,” Gaster said with a smile. “Lives depend on it.” But not his, not Papyrus'!_

_“You're going to hurt Papyrus, aren't you? Even if I live, you'll still hurt him.” Sans whimpered his emotions in turmoil._ _Shut up! Be quiet! He's going to hurt Papyrus! Run! Run! RUN!_   

_“Not if you cooperate,” Gaster stated calmly, trying to toy with Sans' emotions like he always had. They both knew Sans grew out of that phase years ago._

_“You're lying.” Sans took a step back, glancing between the machine and Gaster. “You always lie.” Run!_

_“_ **_WD01S, Stop._ ** _” Gaster commanded, and Sans ignored him for the first time in years. He continues to inch away, unsure of where'd he'd run to, but not to that machine. He was scared, he was terrified, but not of Gaster, but for Papyrus. If he didn't act now, he'd lose him. He'd lose himself. No one would know and no one would care. Sans had to_ _act now or it would all be over. He was afraid. He mortified, but he couldn't be. He didn't have time to be. He had to be who Papyrus thought he was, who he should have always been. His savior, his big brother, his friend. He should have never hurt him, never let him be hurt. Sans had failed time and time again, but now he couldn't. Now, he had one choice and he refused to let his fear get in the way of that choice._

_“Let Papyrus go!” Sans shouted in a weak and trembling voice. Gaster clicked his teeth and Sans saw the familiar shadow seep off of his form. “No!” Sans screamed, a pulse of his energy radiating off of him, causing the shadows to shrink back._

_“_ **_Enough!_ ** _” Gaster hissed, lashing out, but Sans blocked it with his own attack. It wasn't strong enough to withstand the attack, but the shock of the blue bone caused Gaster to step back toward the machine. Attack. Dodge. FIGHT! He trained Sans to attack. He trained him to do exactly this. The skeleton could never beat him before, but this was different. Sans didn't fight like his life depended on it like Papyrus' life depended on it. He had no reason to hold back. Glancing between the doctor and the machine, Sans summoned another bone, launching it at his target._

_“Let us go!” Sans demanded, his eye burning and spark shooting out._

_“_ **_WD-_ ** _”_

_“My name is Sans!” The experiment screamed. Several large femurs were thrown in his enemy's direction, but Gaster destroyed them with a smack of his black magic._

_“_ **_You are what I wish_ ** **_for_ ** **_you to be._ ** _” Gaster's voice dropped, a raspy, echoing voice filling the room and causing Sans to lose confidence in his actions. “_ **_You will go into that machine, by your own will or not._ ** _” A black tendril wrapped around Sans' neck and shoulders. The skeleton kicked against it, squirming and shouting._

_“No!” Sans cried clawing at the magic to no use. “No! No! NO!” Gaster's grin vanished as a large beam of cyan light shot at him and his machine. Sans was dropped to the ground, crawling away as he glanced over at the blaster he had summoned. The doctor growled, once the attack was over, his body singed and smoking mildly. Sans had an advantage. This was his moment to strike if he failed he'd die along with his brother. If he won, he had no idea what would happen. He had more power than he had ever realized, and he had control. He was trained to be in control, to summon and vanish attacks, to control the levels, to work until all the magic was drained out of him. Sans was a weapon, designed to kill and be very good at killing. Never before had he realized that he had control over himself, over his own power. That he himself had a mind of his own. Now he realized, with the threat of Papyrus on the line Sans' fear of pain and the doctor were pointless. What mattered to him was getting Papyrus and keeping him safe, protecting him like he tried to. Protecting him like he always should have, and now he could. He would. He had no choice but to._

_Gaster watched him with careful eyes. His creation finally coming to terms with himself and Gaster cursed himself for mentioning the destruction of Papyrus around him, but he would have reacted anyways even if he just called Papyrus out of the room like normal. Sans wasn't easy to trick anymore, and after a while, he'd catch onto the fact that his brother was dead and revolt against Gaster. In the end, they'd be dead and the scientist would start again._

_“Stop,” Gaster said, trying to control his emotions, but Sans could see his anger. Sans glared, the blue magic beginning to glow as he summoned three more blasters. “You are just as foolish as 02P.” Gaster snapped and Sans felt a bit of his courage return. “Do it, Sans” Gaster mocked. “I made you for this exact reason. Kill me like the weapon you are.” The experiment winced and the scientist bit back a smirk._

_“I'm not a weapon!” Sans defended._

_“You're the perfect weapon, your other half couldn't even withstand a little determination let alone use it to kill. You passed all my tests, Sans.” Sans shook his head, hands curling up causing the skulls to charge. “You killed every subject, passed every test, absorbed every drop of determination and magic I gave you. You are exactly what I created you to be, a killing machine.” Sans felt tears well up._

_“No, you made me do that!” Sans never wanted to be like that. He had to. Gaster made him. He had no choice!_

_“You volunteered to. You knew you had a choice.” Sans faltered, his rage faded into uncertainty. He did. He could have died, given up, made Papyrus take the torment. He always had a choice and he decided to become this-this--_

_“I-I'm not a weapon.” Gaster chuckled at Sans' feeble attempt to defend himself._

_“Then what are you?” Gaster asked, taking a step forward. Sans flame began to die out slightly. What was he? He was Sans. He was a skeleton. Was he a monster? Where did he come from? Where did Papyrus come from? Monsters had families, backstory, he had nothing. “I'm waiting 0-Sans. What are you and Papyrus?” Gaster slowly crept his magic closer as Sans contemplated the answer. He'd reach around, latch on, and shove him in. By now he didn't even care if the experiment survived. WD01S had failed in his eyes. Next time he'd keep the two separate, a bond didn't work out like he had planned. The two were supposed to be connected like a team, not a family. Papyrus' self-thinking and morality had soiled Gaster's perfect creation. Never again. Next time would be different._

_“I-I'm..”_

_“You're my creation,” Gaster told Sans who continued to deny the words. “You are exactly what I-” Sans eyes shot open as he felt a form grab his leg, "-created you for!”_

_“NO!” In seconds Sans fired, and watched in shock and horror as the machine caught fire and began shooting out sparks and black ooze. Gaster turned around to face his machine. The skeleton took the moment and ran at him, but Gaster spun back around and wrapped his magic around the child as Sans shoving him into the open door. Sans reached out to grab the machine, but Gaster was pulling him into the blackness with him. The skeleton's skull entered the void and he couldn't breathe._

_There was nothing. No sound. No light. No smell. No air. Absolute darkness and Sans was petrified. Gaster let out a scream and Sans chocked as the scientist's body began to melt. He reached out to his experiment and the skeleton felt the magic around him begin to seep into his bones. He could not scream or even move. He could feel the void and Gaster enter him through the crack in his bones, his sockets, his mouth. It wasn't until Gaster's melted form began glitching and charging forward that Sans shrieked. An unexplainable pain jolted through him. It shocked his skull, traveling down his spine and limbs, taking over his magic and being. The bizarre pain made the determination seem like a mild burn. The experiment could not withstand more than a few seconds before the skeleton lost consciousness. The melted form of his nightmare suddenly vanished and the skeleton was fired out of the machine. The machine released an ear-piercing noise, shattering the glass on the far wall before exploding. Sans flew back against the far wall, bashing his head before he crashed into the floor, unmoving._

_When he came to, the world was a blur. His senses were blurred and numb. His vision was foggy, hearing a loud ring, nose and mouth unable to take in enough air. His body had felt like it had been through hell and back. The skeleton reached up to touch his skull and flinched when he felt a patch of slime. His vision cleared and he stared down at the black puddle under him. Struggling to lift himself up, Sans watched as more inky goo dripped into the puddle below. He suddenly gaged and nearly fell over as he vomited. He squeezed his sockets shut, puking until he was left dry heaving. Peeling his eyes open, he gazed into the black mess his reflection staring back at him. Patches of the mixture were sliding off his face and the skeleton panicked, jumping away from the puddle and wiping at his head. Upon moving, he let out a cough and struggled to inhale a sufficient amount of air. Sans looked around the room and noticed it was filled with smoke, an alarm was ringing and particles of what Sans thought was dust or maybe ash were falling from the air. He fell over and vomited once more, black ooze pouring out of him. Sans whimpered, scrambling to his feet, yanking the door open and running. His legs gave out and he fell forward with a cry. His body was trembling too much for him to stand. His skull throbbed and he wanted to cry._

_The events replayed in his head and the skeleton struggled to understand and grasp onto the situation in his delirious state. Sans wheezed, resting on his hands and knees, panting as he struggled to form a cognitive thought. What was he doing? Where would he go? What would happen? Why had he-Papyrus. The skeleton stilled. His head snapped up staring down the empty hallway. No one was in the hallways, no one was in the open rooms, everyone was gone. Sans shot up and bolted down the hall. His footsteps echoed in the long hallways as he sprinted, tripping over himself multiple times. Falling over the seventh time Sans sobbed, exhausted and emotional. He forced himself up, taking in a deep breath as he envisioned their room. He was so close, just five doors down. He could do it. Sans pushed away from the wall completely unaware his magic had begun to spark and illuminate. He pushed his foot off of the ground and felt weightless. He was blinded by a flash of something that passed too quickly for him to take in. His breath was sucked out of him and his skull felt as if it was going to explode. Sans wasn't even sure what happened until he felt himself slide across the floor after being aggressively shoved. His frightened eyes scanned the area staring at the spot he once was at. He was a door away from his brother, but how did he get here? What just-_

_Sans heard a shuffle coming from their room and scrambled to his feet._ _He_ _came_ _to a halt when he saw a figure curled up in the corner of their room. Frightened sockets landed on Sans and the skeleton felt his soul swell up._

_“Papyrus!” He ran toward the scared child who reached out, allowing Sans to pick him up and cradle him._

_“Sans, where are we? The doors opened, but I couldn't find you!” Papyrus cried, but Sans just shushed him, holding him as he exited the room and took off running._

_“We are getting out of here Papyrus. We are leaving.” A strange feeling began to flutter inside the skeleton. “We're leaving. We're never coming back. We're free.” The tingle grew. Free. They were free. Free! No more tests! No more injections! No more pain! No more Gaster! FREE!_

_“Sans? Sans, what's wrong? Why are you crying?” Papyrus touched his brother's face and Sans realized he had begun to cry. “Are you hurt?” Sans shook his head, his feet moving on their own as he ran._

_“We're safe, Papyrus.” He sobbed, grip tightening on his brother. Sans flung himself into a metal box of some kind, his legs giving out on him as the doors closed on their own. He cradled his brother close, his wails echoing off the walls. “I saved us. We're safe. It's over Pap. I won't let them hurt you ever again.” Papyrus allowed himself to be held. He didn't know what his brother was talking about or what had happened, but judging by how hysterical the skeleton was, the younger sibling could only imagine how traumatic it had been._

_“Thank you.” The younger skeleton said. If Sans had done something to help them, then Papyrus was thankful._

_“He won't hurt you.” Sans sobbed, bony fingers digging into his brother's gown. “We're free.”_

 

~*~

 

Sans' sockets snapped open and he shot forward, barely able to turn his head to the side before he began puking onto the floor. The dream flashed inside of his skull and he shivered, digging his hands into the sheets. He took in a deep breath, staring down at the ectoplasm vomit and his pupils faded slightly as he spotted globs of black inside.

It was still there. Still in him. The blackness of the void, the melted form of Gaster's body. It invaded him and still clung to him in areas Sans could not react. Why wouldn't it leave? Why was it still there? He had thrown up so much yet it still remained. The skeleton ground his teeth together as he started at his bile. A drop of inky liquid fell into the puddle and Sans' breath caught him his throat. Nothing fell from his face or dangled from his mouth, yet two more drops fell into the puddle. The skeleton's microscopic pupils traveled upward and landed on a figure right in front of him.

Black goo.

Sans eyes were glued to the dipping mass, splotches landing on the carpet below. A white face with cracked sockets stared at the small skeleton. The twisted grin permanent and eyes as black and soulless as the Void. Two large cracks ran over the face, one from the left eye to the forehead and the other to the right eye down to the top of the grin. The two held a steady gaze. Sans body refused to move as the figure inched a step closer. Only when the figure was no more than a few feet away did Sans move. He pressed his back against the wall, a soft cry escaping his mouth.

**“Sans.”**

WingDing. The creature was speaking in WingDing. That language Gaster created and made. That black ooze, that white face, it was exactly who Sans feared. The mass Gaster had melted into after the void ripped him apart. How? How was he here? How was he alive? Gaster wasn't powerful enough to withstand the machine, that's why he had made Sans. Gaster was weak, weaker than Sans. Standing before him, though, was a figure who Sans knew too well. Was the scientist stronger than the skeleton expected? Had Sans actually convinced himself that he could beat Gaster when the doctor had beaten him over and over?

Sans flinched violently as two white hands, those hands, appeared hovering near the black tar body. The skeleton could feel his eye pulsating, his breathing heavy, body trembling. Would fighting be worth it? Gaster was strong enough to surpass whatever awaited for Sans beyond the machine, something the doctor didn't even know Sans could pass through. Sans had determination and magic within him, but it was useless now. Everything was useless. Everything was a lie. Sans had believed he was free, that he was safe. Childish. Pathetic. Weak.

Tears were in his sockets, his body shaking violently as he stared at the form that stood in the room with him. He couldn't be real. It was impossible. It had to be. This was all in his head. A side effect of the medication. Not real.

“You're not real,” Sans whispered, voice barely audible.

 **“Aren't I?”**  The form replied and Sans' tears began to spill. Not real. He couldn't be real. Sans' couldn't handle that. The labs. The room. The torture. It was over. It had to be over.

“No...” Sans sobbed, a yelp left him as the form inched closer. A menacing grin spread across Gaster's white face, inky goo seeping out of the grin and dripping onto the bed.

 **“You think they care about you, Sans?”** The form asked, leaning closer, body dripping onto the covers.  **“Nobody cares about you.”** Sans shook his skull, covering his the sides of his head with his hands.  **“Not Grillby, or Papyrus, or Bonnie, not even me. Do you know why?”**

Not here. Not here. Not here!

 **“Because they know what you are, 01S.** **What you did.** **”**

Sans felt a hand wrap around his arm, tracing over where his name once was. His entire body went numb as if he had been dropped into the Snowdin River.

 **“** **My creation.** **”**

Sans shrieked, yanking his arm away. The figure vanished, but Sans felt no relief. It touched him, this wasn't a hallucination, it was real. He was there, he was real. Gaster was real. He hadn't died. He was there. Real. He'd be back to take him away. To inject him, cut him, break him, over and over until Sans died-No. He wouldn't be allowed to die. Sans had confessed everything. He had done so many bad things. Gaster was going to punish him. This had all been a lie. The house, the safety, the happiness, all gone. Sans wasn't supposed to have happiness. He wasn't supposed to have or be anything.

Sans legs were jelly, his entire body rattling and his strength was gone. He wanted to run, but he was unable to. Gaster would find him. He'd be back, Gaster would be back for him. Sans had disobeyed. He should have stayed. He shouldn't have left. He didn't belong outside the labs. He wasn't meant to be a real monster. He wasn't a real monster. He was property. An experiment. He should have never forgotten his place.

Sans sobbed, grabbing the blanket and throwing it over himself in a pathetic attempt to hide.

“Not real,” Sans whispered to himself, his fingers digging into the fabric of the blanket. “Not real. Not real. Not real.” Sans began repeating, praying he would be able to convince himself like he had this entire time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crazy 80's/90's zoom in and out* WooAAAOOOHH, another update?! Radical! Ha, here's my small token of thanks. Also, this chapter was shorter than the rest and didn't feel like a regular update, but to mix it with the next would be too much. So. erm. yea.
> 
> Gosh it feels so good to finally have this out. Like...so good. This has been sitting in a pile of ideas since December, now it is free!!! Backstory! Mystery! Stuff! Now time to sit back and panic about the reaction. Next update will be on the usual schedule. Thank you guys so very much.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	33. Meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for editing, my dear!

“I'm going to run home real quick,” Bonnie announced after Grillby had gotten off the phone with Kawa. The bartender rested against the doorframe, gaze lost, but he still nodded.

“I'll come with.” Papyrus voiced from beside his sleeping brother. The flame's attention was brought back and the adults mirrored a concerned expression.

“Are you sure? You don't have to.” The flame spoke.

“I just-” The skeleton stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “I'd like to go with you, Bonnie." He said again, still watching his sibling.

“Papyrus talk to us,” Grillby begged, pushing away from the doorway.

“You won't take long, right?” The skeleton asked the bunny, ignoring his guardian. He didn't want to talk.

“Yeah, I just want to grab some things for the night. Twenty minutes tops.” Papyrus nodded lacking the ability to keep his usual enthusiasm and smile on his face. “Come on.” Bonnie motioned to the door and the skeleton left. The fluffy monster rested her paw on her friend's shoulder, giving it a firm pat. “I'll talk to him.” She whispered, tossing Grillby a weak smile before she left.

The two exited the home and Grillby did very little besides watch over his child. The flame planned to continue that act until his child awoke, but a knock came from his front door. With a huff, he stood up and slowly made his way to the entrance. The element cracked open the door and peered out spotting the guard member. Lesser Dog sat panting heavily on the front step with a letter hanging from his mouth. The dog reached up and handed it to the element who was mildly amazed at the lack of slobber.

“King!” The guard member barked. “You'll visit the king?”

“Um, no, not right now.” The bartender replied.

“The king asks for you to come. The letter explains. You'll come?” The bartender examined the front and back of the envelope before shaking his head.

“No, I can't right now. Tell him I can't.” Grillby shifted towards the outside, bringing the door with him to not disturb his resting child by the dog's barking. “Why didn't he come down himself?”

“Asgore is busy with the Royal Scientist. Captain said it's very secret. I'll tell the king you are busy.” With a happy bark, Lesser Dog ran in a circle before bolting off. Grillby stood and watched for a moment before his attention was drawn to the letter. Using his magic to burn the side, he pulled the letter out and flipped it open.

_Grillby,_

_Sorry my methods of communication are so 'old fashioned'. I haven't gotten used to these newer electronics. They all appear to be too small._

_Returning to the point of this letter, I have sent Lesser Dog with this letter to inform you that we have opened and began looking through the lab. Tur and I both are struggling to comprehend and piece together all the information. I think it is best for us to meet so I may show you in person. I recommend leaving Sans behind._ _Even if he may help us with piecing together everything, the state of things is rather grim and I do not wish to cause him any emotional harm._ _I'd like for you to see everything if you are up for it._ _Perhaps you could help._ _Please get a hold of me soon._

_I hope all is well,_

_Asgore Dreemurr_

Grillby frowned, rereading the letter before he folded it and entered the house. The bartender shut the door and set the paper on the living room coffee table. Asgore and whatever he found was the last thing he needed to deal with right now. He had half a mind to just write a letter telling him to buzz off for a while, but he knew better than to let his emotions get the best of him. Still, he couldn't ignore him completely. Perhaps he ought to-

The element felt the magic drain from his body as a loud shriek rang out. His body heated up, color a bright red as he darted up the stairs. He threw open the door in his blind panic and flinched as another scream tore through the air.

“Sans?” Grillby panted, stepping close to the bed. The skeleton lay curled up in the corner of the bed, his bones rattling together. He was breathing erratically, muttering to himself from under the blanket.

“Not real. Not here. Not real. Not here.” Grillby searched for an opening to peer into but found none. Sans was hidden under the blanket and the flame could make out the outline of his bony digits through the fabric.

“Sans, what's wrong? What happened?” The flame asked. The skeleton continued to ignore him, but his chanting was interrupted by his sobs. “Sans, what happened?” Grillby repeated as he tried to peel the blankets back but Sans only began to scream.

“NOT REAL! NOT REAL! NOT REAL!” Despite every instinct telling him to let Sans be, the element pulled the blanket away and Sans shrieked, curling in on himself, crying out as if he was in pain. “NO! NO! NO! NO!”

“Sans! Sans look at me, calm down. Everything is fine.” Grillby told his child, reaching out to hold him. Sans' body shook with each sob, his wailing grew louder when the bartender grazed his arm. The fire element did not let go of the skeleton, he stroked the back of his skull, trying to coax him out of his ball. The skeleton eventually peeled open one socket after detecting no threat from the voice and touch around him and looked at the form touching him. Spotting Grillby his sobbing stopped. His expression was a mixture of terror and confusion. The skeleton's eyes darted around the room to ensure they were alone. With the absence of his nightmare, Sans felt his tears begin to form for again.

“Grillby?” Sans whispered, both overjoyed and horrified his guardian was near him.

“Yeah, Sans. It's me.” Grillby spoke in a hushed tone, continuing to rub his back.

“Dad.” Sans whimpered, his composure crumbling. The skeleton flung himself at his guardian wailing into his chest, clinging onto him like his life depended on it. Grillby's arms wrapped around his child, pressing him tightly against his chest.

“You're safe, Sans. I'm here, you're going to be okay.” Grillby told his child, who continued to let out the most pained and heartbreaking cries Grillby had ever heard.

“H-he was here! He g-grab-bed m-me and-and h-he's going to t-take me-e back to-to the labs b-but I-I can't Dad, I c-can't. I can't g-go back-k I can't. I-I was s-so scared. I'm st-still scarred. Dad, h-he's here. H-He's going to h-hurt me.” Sans forced out, barely understandable through all his hiccups and wails. Grillby shook his head, arms tightening around his child.

“No one is going to hurt you,” Grillby promised, stroking the back of his skull.

**“Liar.”**

Sans screamed, hiding his face in his guardian's chest.

“Grillby he's here! Grillby he is here. Help me, please. He's here. He's here! He's going to hurt me! Please Grillby, help me!” Sans begged. The element's flame was colored a ruby red, shades of a golden orange passing through as he turned around ready to fight the intruder but the room was empty. The red flame faded quickly to a pale orange.

“Sans, where? Where is he?” Grillby asked urgently, praying his child was mistaken. The skeleton pulled his face away from his guardian, looking over the room. His eyes stopped at the desk and he let out a whine, trembling as he cowered once more. Grillby stared at the desk area, spotting nothing but the furniture and coloring books. Hallucinating. Sans had begun visibly hallucinating.

The bartender wasted no time. He grabbed the lightest blanket off the bed and wrapped it around his child. He rose to his feet, ensuring his hold on his child was secure as he spoke.

“Sans, I'm going to need you to listen to me, okay?” Grillby stated calmly, walking to the door and exiting the room. “We are going to go to Bonnie's okay? Is that okay with you, Sans? Please let me know if it's okay.” The skeleton nodded, clinging to Grillby. “You are going to be fine. We'll get to Bonnie's and she is with Papyrus and it's safe. Does that sound good?” With another nod, Grillby fled the house barely managing to shut the door behind him. He sprinted down the streets of Snowdin nearly tripping multiple times and getting many concerning looks from the few monsters on the streets, but Grillby could care less. He focused on holding Sans steady, ensuring the skeleton was alright. Once at the bunny's small home Grillby pounded on Bonnie's door, heating up his body as Sans trembled from the cold and fear.

“Lizzie I told you I was busy with-” Bonnie yanked open the door, looking at Grillby before her eyes trailed down to Sans. “What happened?” She questioned ushering them inside.

“He woke up and had an attack. Where's Papyrus?” Grillby eased up his death grip over his child, but Sans hung onto him terrified his guardian was abandoning him.

“No, Grillby! No! He'll get me. Please don't let go! Please, Ican'tIcan'tIcant! Don't let go, please!” Sans pleaded and Grillby made a pained sound, his soul breaking at how desperate his child sounded.

“Okay, it's okay. I won't let go. I'm sorry, please calm down.” Grillby hushed the skeleton.

“What is he talking about?” Bonnie demanded, but Grillby did not answer.

“Bonnie, please can you get Papyrus?” Grillby sounded frantic and the bunny monster was honestly a bit scared.

“He was right-”

“Sans!” The younger sibling gasped, running out of Bonnie's bedroom. The elder skeleton twitched shaking uncontrollably. He took in quick breaths that sounded more like gasps of air. Sans was lost in his panic, unable to focus on anything around him. Grillby sat on Bonnie's small couch, rubbing Sans' skull and back in an attempt to calm his child down. Papyrus stepped closer, but remained distant, face contorted into a look of utter distress.

“Sans, can you hear me?” The skeleton nodded, his small hands quivering as he tried to hold on tighter to Grillby. “Sans, can tell me how you feel? Are you afraid? Confused?”

“I-I'm scared, Dad. I'm so-o scared-d. He was the-ere. He-He-” Sans' voice broke out off as he sucked in a gasp of air that caused him to cough.

“Sans, it's okay. I promise you it's okay. I need you to listen to me, okay Sans? Are you listening?” The skeleton suppressed his cries, nodding his head. “Sans, no one was in the room. You were hallucinating, but that's okay.” Sans shook his head.

“N-No, he was there! H-He was!” He had to have been. Sans saw him, felt him. He was there!

“Kiddo, I know you are scared, but I need you to do one last thing for me, okay? Can you please tell me if anything's here? Do you hear or see anything?” The skeleton refused to budge. “Nothing will hurt you, Sans. It's just us here. Your family is here and only us, but I want you to see that, okay? It's just us.” Sans opened one eye, turning his head to look at half the room. His pupils trailed over every object, scanning the empty room. Spotting nothing, Sans turned more and examined the rest. He glanced over Bonnie and Papyrus as if they weren't there, pinprick pupils lingering in the darker areas.

“Just...us...” No Gaster. Safe. He was safe. Empty head. Empty room. Safe.

“Yes, just us. See? No one is here, but your family, okay?” Sans didn't respond, still observing the area around the room expecting something to appear. He was confused. His anxiety had blinded him. He agreed to whatever Grillby had said without paying attention to his words. Where was he? How did he get here? Where was here? Where was Gaster?

“W-...Where are we?” The skeleton mumbled, unfamiliar with his location.

“We are at Bonnie's house, remember? I told you we were going to Bonnie's.” The skeleton stared at the carpet looking lost in thought. Bonnie's house. Not theirs. This house felt safe. No memories, a fresh location. Sans feared his old home would not be tainted by the thought of Gaster. It didn't feel safe anymore. Here was safe. Gaster wasn't here.

“Bonnie's house.” The skeleton muttered. Bonnie's house with his family. His family. “Pap,” Sans whispered under his breath before he pushed away from Grillby in a new frantic fit. “Papyrus! Where's Papyrus?!”

“Sans.” The smaller skeleton grabbed his brother's jacket and Sans faced him. His entire frame sunk as he reached out, pulling his brother to him in a tight embrace.

“We're safe here,” Sans whispered, still trembling. “You're safe. We're safe.”

“Sans I don't understand,” Papyrus stated, but his brother said nothing to rid the younger sibling of his confusion.

Sans remained on edge for the rest of the night. He clung to his brother, regressing back into his overly protective manner. His insanity continued to toy with his vision occasionally distorting or flashing images of the labs what would cause the skeleton's eye to glow and body to become tense. When Grillby mentioned returning home, the unstable child entered a mild frenzy and refused to leave.

Bonnie's house was small and had two bedrooms but the second one was currently a mess and unusable. The bartender debated if he'd honestly be able to get any sleep that night and decided that if he was tired enough, the floor would make a perfect bed. Bonnie had all but insisted they stay the night and she agreed to look after the boys as Grillby took a trip back to his home. He went back home alone and collected an overnight bag and cleaned San's vomit before he returned to his friend's home. Sans and Papyrus were both already asleep on the couch when Grillby returned and the flame decided not to wake them for the sake of pajamas. Bonnie had draped a blanket over them and turned off the light which was enough for him.

“Hey.” She whispered when Grillby set the overnight bag on the ground. He looked up and spotted her in the bedroom doorway waving him over. “Should I close it?” She asked hand on the knob.

“No, leave it open a crack.” Bonnie nodded and almost closed the door before sitting next to her friend on her bed.

“You know you aren't sleeping on the floor right?” The fluffy monster said trying to lighten the mood.

“Doesn't matter. I doubt I'll be able to sleep at all.” The flame mumbled into his hands, the memory of his child's terror causing him to shiver.

“It'll get better, Grill. What did Kawa tell you?”

“He told me to continue his medication but cut one of the pills in half. After three days he can be taken down to half. Kawa doesn't want to shock San's body at all and wants to gradually take him off the pill as fast as possible without hurting him.” The element sighed, running his hands down his face. “He hopes that doing that will prevent any withdrawal from the drug with his magic. Even off the pill, it'll take a week to ensure the magic is back to normal and not influenced by the medication. Kawa offered to come over if Sans was up for it. Doubt he will be, though. The kid can barely grasp onto reality right now.” Grillby stated recalling the few incident Sans had hours ago.

“That's good, though. I think it would be best to have or at least try to get Sans to his therapist as well.” Bonnie added.

“I'd normally agree, but I don't want this happening in her office or outside the house where he will get overwhelmed.” Grillby countered.

“I know you don't, but you can't trap him inside until the medication wears off.”

“Bonnie you don't-” Grillby groaned frustrated the monster didn't understand the situation he was too bothered to explain. “Sans isn't better because he'll be on a lower dosage. He won't get better until he is back on half the dosage and still he'll be frantic. This whole thing can happen again at any moment because of the medication and he can't just stop taking it. And if he refuses to take it tomorrow I-” The bartender huffed, closing his eyes. “I don't even know.”

“Hey, come on. Grillby look at me.” Bonnie rested her paws on the sides of the element's head, forcing him to face her. “Stop doing that.” She removed one paw to nudge at his frown. “We've hit a rough patch, but he'll get better.”

“Bonnie you don't know what it's like-”

“I don't know what it is like to be in his shoes or even yours, but that doesn't matter. We can and we will get through this. It'll take two weeks max and the first part is only three days.”

“I'm not worried about the medication Bonnie!” Grillby shouted, pulling away from his friend. “He's hallucinating visually! He believes Gaster is out there trying to take him away. I'm terrified of that effect on him. He said he saw him that he touched him, but I couldn't see anything. Sans is so traumatized by that sick fuck and what he did to him that I don't even know once off the medication he'll be able to feel safe in our home. He is hallucinating his biggest fear and has no control over it at all and while he's on this medication it will only continue.” Grillby stared at the small crack in the doorway, hoping his outburst didn't wake his children. “There is so little that we can do to actually help him.” The flame spoke in a soft and sorrowful tone. “His coping methods in therapy did nothing to help him today. Nothing we said or did worked either. He's so fragile and is too delusional at times to ground himself. I don't know if tomorrow he will accept it all as some delusion or if he will really believe Gaster is out there. He's made it this far thinking he was gone and that it was safe. But now with that security net ripped away from him, I can't even imagine how he is feeling or what he'll do. He's already so sensitive and fragile and now he-...Do you know-” Grillby shook his head, taking on a shaky breath. “Do you know how easy it is to go from this to suicidal?”

“Stop!” Bonnie demanded and the flame turned away from the door, expression pained. “Stop that right now. Don't you dare even think that, Grillby.”

“How could I not?!”

“By being there for your children, Grillby!” Bonnie snapped, pointed to the door. “Both of them, Grillby, not just Sans. I understand Sans in a predicament right now, but you can't forget about Papyrus. He's upset too, and you acting like this won't help him or anyone.” The flame dimmed, shame washing over him. “Being a parent means acting like one. Your children need you to become someone they can depend on upon. Don't treat Sans like glass and stop blinding yourself by focusing on him alone. You are allowed to worry and you are allowed to be afraid, but don't act like your brother. They come to you for support. How is Sans supposed to rely on you when you think he's going to die? How is Papyrus supposed to open up and start expressing himself if you continue to rely on him instead of asking him how he is feeling. Do you know how he is feeling Grillby?” Bonnie hissed and the flame couldn't look at her.

“I-...No.”

“He blames himself Grillby. He thinks Sans' episode is his fault.” The bartender spun around, expression shocked.

“What? It's not!”

“Try and tell him that, especially now after this whole episode. Do you know why he didn't want to tell you how he felt? Because he wanted you to focus on Sans. Do you know why he went with me instead of staying? Because he thought it would be better if he wasn't around. You worry a lot about Sans, Grillby, but Papyrus is just as troubled.” Bonnie led the flame back over to the bed, placing a paw over his hand. “I'm not his mom or his parents. At best I'm an aunt, but I'm not the one he should be going to with this. You need to connect with him more. You have built a strong bond with Sans. Now, you need to build one with Papyrus. Just because his problems aren't as bad as Sans' does not mean you can brush the aside or treat them like they are.” Bonnie took in a deep breath, her ears drooping.

“Look, tomorrow is Sunday. Let's all stay home and talk, alright? If Sans is up for it maybe we can get Kawa or Foli if she does home appointments. You will listen to your children and talk to them. Explain the situation, help them understand, and be their dad. You aren't the only one who's distraught about today. We all want to help Sans and we all will. We can't do that if his dad think's he's going to die somehow and his brother is blaming himself for everything bad that happens. We'll all be alright, okay?” Bonnie offered her friend a soft smile and Grillby stared into her honest and sincere eyes. He inhaled deeply and held it for a few seconds before he released it and nodded.

“Okay.”

Okay was what the group lived by. No matter the event that took place each day, as long as everyone was alive each member felt a mild amount of relief was through them.

The following day was more bearable than the previous. Sans was jittery and jumpy, but his hold on reality was stronger than the day before. He was moodier, though, but that was easy to deal with. The skeleton still feared the threat of Gaster but had managed to convince himself that Bonnie's home was some safe haven. This made it difficult for anyone trying to get either skeleton to leave the home. Sans refused to step outside and forbid Papyrus from leaving his sight and at times, his arms.

When it came to taking his medication, Grillby had to explain what Kawa told him over the phone in order for Sans to take his pills. Sans wanted to stop, but after recalling the effects that could happen to him he begrudgingly swallowed them down.

Due to Sans' new found agoraphobia, Kawa came over to have a small talk with Sans about what had happened, but the skeleton was reluctant to admit too many details. Despite the home being his sanctuary, details of what occurred were off limits. He admitted to seeing Gaster and to feeling the touch, however, when Kawa tried to tell him it was a side effect Sans become agitated and hostile. He refused to accept the thought that Gaster was anything but alive and out to get him. No one tried to force him it was an illusion, but the doctor did tell Grillby alone to pay more attention to him. He believed Sans had touched his own arm in his fit of delirium and simply did not recall it.

The rest of the day everyone tried to act normal, however Sans made it very difficult to walk around in any other way but on eggshells. Fast movements caused him to flinch and a voice louder than an inside voice created panic. Mentioning Gaster or talking about the event at all resulted in the skeleton becoming defensive and snippy, but blatantly ignoring it made him believe everyone thought he was making it up. The simplest solution to Sans' moody behavior was to just keep him distracted. Either by conversation, games or just being around him. Preventing the elder child from getting lost in his thoughts was the best short term solution. Distracted meant no hallucinations and no attacks, and that was a plan everyone could agree upon.

Foli came over Monday afternoon to talk to Sans and Papyrus. The elder skeleton was experiencing severe mood swings Kawa said were caused by his magic becoming adjusted to the lower dosage. It made the therapy session more emotional than usual, having Sans waver between anger, tears, and fear. Mentioning their home caused anger as well as saying his vision of Gaster were hallucinations. The topics often resulted in Sans screaming that everyone thought he was crazy and didn't believe him. He often broke down into tears when describing the incident and trying to talk about what had happened the day the skeletons left the labs. He repeated over and over that he was not allowed to talk about it and that if Gaster heard him he'd be in trouble. Fear came when Foli asked to speak with Papyrus alone. The fear quickly turned into threats and magic outbursts. It took a lot of convincing, but Foli managed to get Papyrus away from his brother as long as Grillby was in the room.

The bartender had mentioned his concern with the younger skeleton and Foli wanted to allow Papyrus to speak freely without feeling the need to hold back with his brother around. Papyrus was as tricky and vague as Sans was at first. He never lied, but confessed or told small details until he just began blurting out his feelings. He confessed to blaming himself for Sans' outburst. He regretted asking him about what had happened and wished he never asked, to begin with. He cursed his curiosity and even resented the progress he had made with becoming more expressive.

“I always thought about Sans first and when I didn't he had an attack and now he's worse.” The skeleton sniffed, trying to wipe away his tears that had formed. “Thinking selfishly made everything worse. I don't care about how I feel if Sans get's hurt because of it.”

“Papyrus, your actions didn't cause this,” Foli told the child who shook his head, refusing to believe her. “It's true. Sans is in a very unstable state right now. Anything could have upset him or triggered this. You have to understand that this isn't your fault.”

“But it is!” Papyrus cried. “I made him think about it. I made him upset.”

“And if you didn't then someone else would have by accident. This situation is a giant accident. Is Sans angry at you? Does he blame you?” Papyrus stared at the floor.

“N-No, but he wouldn't. He'd never tell me if I upset him.”

“Did you try talking to him?” Foli asked.

“No,” Papyrus mumbled, looking away from Foli. “It doesn't matter. It's not important. I don't want to upset him.”

“Would it bother him if you were upset Papyrus?” The skeleton gave no response. “When Sans is emotional, you feel it too, right?” The child nodded, gripping onto his humerus. “And we know Sans doesn't like you worrying about him. That's why he sometimes keeps things secret. But you are doing the same thing. You don't want to bother him so you are pushing those feelings aside, but we know that's not good. It causes connection issues and fights. You had an outburst because you weren't speaking your mind. Everyone needs to vent and to be able to communicate with one another. It's the most important thing in any situation. Without communication how are we suppose to know how to help or if there's an issue? Why don't you try talking to Sans and tell him how you feel? He may be a little emotional right now, but nobody likes to be treated differently because of how they are feeling. You just have to be patient and calm. Do you want to talk to your brother?” Papyrus bobbed his head, wiping at his face.

Grillby got up and retrieved Sans who was by his brother's side in an instant. Papyrus told his brother how he felt about the incident and that he blamed himself. Sans was mortified his brother had even thought anything the elder skeleton did was his fault. The two began passing the blame back and forth trying to get the other to understand it was their fault until they both agreed to not blame themselves as long as the other didn't as well. Foli left after one last failed attempt at getting Sans to open up, promising she'd visit again.

Sans had another attack the two days later in the evening. He was in Bonnie's living room when out of the blue he began screaming. Grillby attempted to calm him down, but it resulted in Sans lashing out and attacking him. His vision had warped the flame into Gaster's nightmarish, inky blob form. Even after his magical attack, dispersed reality flickered forbidding him from thinking a logical thought. His own voice was drowned out by the throbbing and screaming inside of his skull. His soul was beating rapidly in his chest, his eyes bright and flickering as access magic sparked out.

Sans took a step back, instantly feeling his brother beside him. The evil form remained still, perhaps speaking, but the insanity spoke louder. It drowned out the world around him whispering and screaming insults, threats, and horrific things that raised the skeleton's panic. There wasn't a thought of sanity left in his mind. It became too much. He hadn't meant to, but as Grillby's distorted form inched closer Sans grabbed his brother and blinked them out of the house. The reaction had been so accidental that he had no control over their land. Sans fell onto his back in a small lake with Papyrus on top of him. The chill of the water jolted him out of his panic. Papyrus remained on top of him looking around the Waterfalls as Sans panted, trying to collect his breath.

“Sans, where did you take us?” Papyrus questioned, pushing away from his brother to stand in the lake. It wasn't that deep, the water coming up to the skeleton's knees. Sans' head was out of the water as he still remained barely sitting up.

“I-I don't know,” Sans mumbled, managing to somehow stand on his trembling legs.

“Well,” Papyrus looked around not recalling the deeper parts of the watery caverns too well. “Take us home. Sans, I want to go home.” The younger sibling demanded, the chill of the water already causing him to shiver.

“No!” Sans barked. “It's not safe.” His haven had been tainted. Gaster had found him and would be lingering in his home, in Snowdin. It was only a matter of time before he found them in the Waterfalls.

“What? Yes, it is! Sans, I want to go home!” Papyrus cried, his wet pants and shoes making him irritable. “I miss my bed and our room and our house! I'm tired of sleeping on the sofa. I want to go home.” He demanded and Sans scowled.

“You aren't going home. It's not home anymore.” Why was his brother being so stubborn? Why didn't he understand that their home wasn't theirs anymore!

“Stop that!” Papyrus stomped his foot, water splashing around him. “Stop saying that! It's my home! It will always be my home!” The younger skeleton's patience was wearing thin. He had missed school for his brother and had been living with Bonnie for the past few days despite not wanting to do either. He was tired of Sans always getting his way.

“We don't have a home, Papyrus,” Sans said, trying to pinpoint where he sent them.

 **_“_** **_Your home is the labs. Underground, out of sight, locked away so no one can get hurt.”_ **

“Shut up.” Sans hissed.

“No, I won't!” His younger sibling replied, offended his brother told him to be quiet.

“I wasn't talking to you.” The taller skeleton confessed, not wanting to offend his brother.

“Then who? Your voices? You aren't supposed to talk to them. They aren't real!” Sans winced, split between yelling at his sibling and biting his tongue. “You keep imagining everything and I don't like it.”

“Papyrus, stop,” Sans warned, fists clenched by his side. His brother didn't understand. He had no idea how Sans felt or any clue how dangerous Snowdin was. The older skeleton was just trying to keep him safe.

“No! I want to go home!” Papyrus announced, refusing to let his brother's illness take him away. He loved Sans and wanted to be there for him, but running away from Snowdin and Grillby wouldn't help anything. His brother was losing it.

“We can't go home!” The elder brother shouted and Papyrus pouted.

“Yes, we can! You just don't want to because you think Gaster's going to hurt us. But Gaster is gone! You are just making all this up in your head!”

“No, I'm not!” Sans screamed silencing his brother. The two were quiet, fuming as they glared at one another.

“I'm going home,” Papyrus said in a low tone. He turned and began marching off, but Sans cut him off with a wall of bones. The smaller child scoffed and went to move around them, but more were summoned. This continued for a few moments before Papyrus let out an annoyed scream and stomped around in the water. “Stop it!”

“I'm trying to save you!” Sans told him, unable to comprehend his brother's frustration. When had his little brother become so spoiled? So selfish?

“There's nothing bad in the Waterfalls. There's nothing bad anywhere. No one is trying to hurt us!” The exhausted skeleton barked, unable to hold back his aggravation and bitterness.

“He's out there,” Sans spoke and Papyrus stormed over to him.

“No, he's not!” Papyrus shoved his brother causing him to fall down into the water. Sans sat in the water stunned for only a moment before he forced his brother over as well. Papyrus gasped as the freezing water soaked his clothes. His sockets narrowed and he kicked a waved of water at his brother. Sans turned away, covering his face as the liquid covered him. He opened his sockets, ready to splash his brother back, but saw the skeleton booking it in the opposite direction.

“Papyrus!” Sans shouting, running after his brother. Papyrus stumbled forward into the lake allowing Sans to catch up to him. The two wrestled, pushed and pulling at each other in a one-sided battle. Sans easily had the upper hand and Papyrus knew it.

“Why won't you listen to me?!” The younger one cried as he tried to pry his arm free. “You aren't even my brother anymore! You are acting like some mean stranger! All you do is shout and cry! I don't like this Sans, I want the old one back. I want my Sans back!” He sobbed and Sans sharply inhaled. Sans hadn't changed at all. He was always this way. If anyone had changed it was Papyrus.

“Why are you so selfish?!” The elder skeleton releasing his brother. Their soul reacted against one another, repelling them away due to their bitter emotions. “All I ever do is try and protect you! I always have to be your big brother and you don't ever try to return the favor! You never helped me with Gaster. You never listened to me. You always had to do it your way! I did everything for you and you don't appreciate any of it! I'm saving you from so much torture and pain, but you don't care. So guess what? Neither do I! Go, Papyrus!” Sans exploded pointing to the opening. Papyrus looked terrified, paralyzed where he stood. “I said go!” Sans shoved him but Papyrus remained standing.

“I-I-”

“GET OUT OF HERE!” Sans launched Papyrus away from him, unaware of how close he was to the wall. Papyrus smacked into the cave wall, his skull bashing against the surface with a sickening crack. The crack echoed in the cave and through Sans' mind, traveling down his spine in an icy chill that made the water around him feel like lava. His rage vanished as a numbness overtook him. His pinprick pupils watched in horror as Papyrus sunk down to his knees, his body hunched over as he cradled his skull. The air went still. It was so quiet Sans believe the entire world had vanished as he focused only on his injured brother. The brother he injured. Sans lacked the ability to breathe.

The silence was shattered by a quiet sob. The soft sobs escaped the younger skeleton, his shoulder's gently shaking with each one before he curled up and wailed. Each wail stabbed at Sans creating a new level of self-hate and misery. What was wrong with him? What kind of brother was he?

 **“** **Br̸at ̕ha͠d̛ it͢ ͟coming҉, ̕right S̨a͟ns̡y͏?̵** **”**

 **_“_ ** **_Maybe he'll quit acting like such a spoiled brat.”_ **

Sans stepped away, his breathing sounding like painful wheezes.

 **“** **He was never meant to survive.”** Sans flinched as the melted form appeared beside him.  **“But then again, neither were you.”**

His mind was silent, wide, hollow socket gazing up at his nightmare.

 **“You are a mockery of who you once were.** **Your mental state is so fragile, it's pathetic. The slightest trigger sending you into a hysterical panic attack!** **My appearance** **alone** **paralyzed** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **you despite it being all in your head. Truly, a pitiful creature you have become.”**

 ** _“Break him.”_** The form inched closer and Sans remained still, watching the grin spread.

 **“Do you remember the time in the** **lab** **s** ******Sans? Your first determination injection? Or the first time you killed those lab rats?”**

Sans covered the side of his head with his hands, falling down to his knees.

“ **The time I watched your body melt from an overdose. The time your brother got his first magic injection. The time your brother collapsed in the room, unable to move? The time you knew you failed at keeping the only thing you cared about alive? The day Papyrus lost** **the** **hope and the will to live? He gave up so easily, Sans.** ”

Sans didn't react, his eye now flickering between cyan and yellow, panting heavily.

 **“** **Do you think he** **believe** **d** ******that it was all your fault? The injection, the pain, the burning, his existence, his misery was all because of you. Did he beg you to kill him? Did he Sans? Did he ever ask you to? To spare him the pain to come, or were you too much of a coward to do anything about it? Too selfish to help your brother and spare him that final injection. And right now he's crying** **ou** **t** ******in pain,** ******a** **nd** **it's all your fault. You blame me for quite a lot, Sans. But who's fault is it really? You have just as much blame as I. You knew he'd suffer. You knew he'd die. You knew he would fall victim. Yet what did you do, Sans?”**

“You alright in there?” Papyrus looked up at the sound of a voice, spotting a monster a decent number of meters away. He looked up at his brother who looked petrified, his magic sparking and flicking around him. Sans' hand traveled up, gripping onto his own shoulder, causing him to flinch away and yelp as he stared at an empty space beside him.

“Sans?” Papyrus whimpered, his head throbbing painful, causing him to wince and look away. Sans did not respond, locked away in his own head as Gaster spoke to him.

 **“Nothing. You kept him so you wouldn't be lonely. Even when you knew his fate. That's as demented as what I did.** **Keeping him alive for your own personal gain.** **Perhaps you are still my creation. Maybe you'll take after me and finish my wor** **k** **. Fix the machine, create the perfect specimen, beat them into submission.”** A menacing laugh echoed in his skull. Sans felt his head be lifted, hollow socket glued to his brother. **“I mean, you already started after all.”**

Sans screamed out, falling to his knees. His eye burst into flames, his blasters appearing and firing away in every direction. Papyrus yelped as a beam came to close. He stood up too quickly, his head spinning and causing him to collapse in the water. The world around him spun as Sans' shouting and shrieks bounced off the walls and hammered at his skull. Papyrus whimpered, crawling to his sibling in hopes of getting out of range of the blasters. He turned to call out to the monster he had seen, but a large blaster formed in front of the exit and fired at the cave ceiling. Papyrus gasped and cried out as large chunks of rocks fell into to the ground. Loud cracks could be heard and in seconds their exit was covered by the cave in. Papyrus sobbed, terrified and scared. He was trapped in the cavern with his sibling who had given in to his insanity and was more likely to end up hurting him before he saved him. The skeleton whimpered, sobbing into his knees as he called out for someone to save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I finally see the endings. In fact, I actually started writing it. Not exciting for you, but a major celebration for me. Sadly, I have yet to narrow it down enough to say there are this many chapters left. Probably great for you guys since you don't have to count down the chapters. 
> 
> But, uh, yeah. Thanks for the love and support. You are a couple of swell peeps. 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	34. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Han, got antsy with the delay. Don't worry about it.

 “Are they there?!” Bonnie shook her head, hands resting on her knees as she panted. Grillby groaned, his body agitated and flicking as he looked around the empty streets of Snowdin. “Where are they?” The bartender moaned.

Upon Sans' disappearance, Grillby entered a state of panic. He frantically searched Bonnie's house, demanding the rabbit search his own home as he looked over his bar. They both had come up empty and the flame was out of locations. With the entire Underground as an option for his children's location, Grillby had no idea where to even began. Searching Snowdin alone would take days with the vast forest stretching out for miles. Each section had its own obstacle making the search more difficult as it went on.

“You sure you don't know where he could have gone?” Bonnie asked once she caught her breath.

“If I did I would be looking there Bonnie!” The flame snapped and the bunny ignored the tone. “They could be fucking anywhere. I have no idea how his magic works. I don't know if it has a range or limitations or even if the guards could track him.” Grillby blurted, the snow around him melting and evaporating as his body heated the air. “It'll take days to search all of Snowdin alone even with the entire guard looking and they could be somewhere else! Do you know how many caverns are in the Waterfalls? How many levels Hotland has?! What if he went to the Core?!”

“Grillby calm down!” Bonnie ordered, backing away from her friend's bonfire-like appearance. “Panicking won't help. I'll calm some people, we can start looking here. Maybe Flint can start in Hotland. Let's get a guard and see if they can-”

“BARK!” Bonnie jumped at the sudden noise and the two watched as Greater Dog ran past them.

“Hey!” Grillby called, sprinting after the dog. The guard member skidded to a halt and spun around tail wagging. “I need your help!”

“I am sorry, Grillby. I am busy. Gerson reported a cave collapse in the Waterfalls. He said some children got locked inside. All guards are demanded to report-”

“WHAT CHILDREN?!” Grillby and Bonnie demanded in unison. Greater Dog leaned away, ears pressed against his skull.

“I do not know. Civilians are told to avoid the area for their safety.”

“It's them, it has to be,” Grillby mumbled, a sickening mixture of terror and relief forming within him. “It's my kids! Please, tell me where they are!”

“If it is your children then you can follow me. I shall lead you to-”

“Grillby stop! You can't go there like this!” The bunny told him, grabbing his arm.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Grillby snapped, trying to tug his arm free.

“It's the Waterfalls, Grillby! Water! You need to get dressed.” The flame groaned, freeing his arm with a firm pull.

“Bonnie are you fucking kidding me?! I don't have time to-”

“I do recommend bundling up due to your um-...body. It is flood season after all.” The guard member informed and the element grumbled.

“Fine! Okay, I'll get it!” Grillby hissed, furious at his own stupid body. Every second he wasted getting his water repellant and resistant clothes was a second more his children were trapped and scared. Who knew what state Sans was in and Papyrus was no doubt hysterical.

Once fully dressed in pants boots, a jacket, and gloves, Bonnie and Grillby sprinted behind Greater Dog who slowed down his own pace to not leave them behind. They exited Snowdin and entered the Waterfalls where another member waited for them. Lesser Dog stood by the entrance and ran alongside Great Dog once he darted past him. The two barked at one another in a language the other monsters did not understand. They received barks back as they approached the location and the other guard members were standing outside Gerson's shop. The fellow dogs of Snowdin yapped to the dog members that joined them.

“Everyone here?” The captain of the Royal Guard called in his full suit of armor. Each member sounded off and the leader nodded, removing his helmet to reveal his crocodile head. “Lesser, Greater, I said no civilians!” The swampy colored captain snapped.

“He the children's father, Al!” Bonnie announced and the Al narrowed his eyes.

“Gerson reported the children were skeletons.” He informed, looking at the fire element skeptically.

“Guardian, I'm their guardian.” Grillby correct.

“It's true!” The canine members defended and the captain relaxed, expression sympathetic.

“I see, I apologize. Still, I insist you remain here. There are abnormal magic tremors that threaten to cause another cave in. I cannot risk your harm, especially if you are their guardian.”

“No, you don't understand,” Grillby stressed, about to continue but he was cut off.

“Sir, I do understand you are their parent. I know this must be hard for you, but we will rescue your children as soon as-Ow!” A wooden cane smacked the crocodile across the head.

“This ain't no regular town dweller, you knucklehead. This here is a war veteran. He's no rookie to danger, seen more than you, kid.” The old turtle stated, shaking his head. “Grillby.” He greeted with an old smile, showing off his missing teeth.

“Gerson.” Grillby breathed, thankful the monster was here.

“How've ya' been, soldier?”

“Gerson, sorry, but the children you saw were they alright?” The turtle pursed his wrinkled lips as he thought.

“Well, they were pretty far, couldn't see much. Smaller one-”

“Papyrus.” The flame corrected.

“Yea, him. He saw me, but the taller one-”

“Sans.”

“Don't be rude, hot man. I may no longer be your general or the captain of the guard but I still got some juice in this old shell.” Gerson pointed his cane at the flame, ready to be tested. He lowered the cane when Grillby motioned for him to continue “Sans, he was screaming like an animal. Kid was either scared out of his wits or throwin' one hell of a temper tantrum. Tried to get to them, but the damn kid went mad and these skull lookin' things started appearing and firing magic all over the place. Sans, or whatever, must have lost it because whatever that thing was fired at the ceiling and caused a cave in. The way in is blocked off and by the sound of it, kid's still not doing well.” Grillby was a daffodil yellow, his flamed head small.

“Where are they?!” He cried, horrified, flared up a bright orange. “Why are you just standing around? Why is no one getting them out?!”

“We're working on a plan to safely get your children out sir.” The captain stated calmly.

“We don't need a plan.” Gerson scoffed reaching over his shop counter and pulling out a large hammer. “I got a plan.” The crocodile shook his head.

“Sir, the rubble could-”

“You telling me I ain't skilled enough to bust a hole in a couple of rocks without hurting some kids? You know I carved out these very caverns you are standing without a single casualty! Grillby, tell these guards how my handiwork saved the lives of thousands during the war.”

“I really don't care! I'll break the wall myself if I have to! I want my children out of there now!!!” The element roared, Gerson remained the only monster who didn't flinch from his expanding flame.

“'Course, Grillby, 'course. Runnin' my gap, come on.” He waved him on before he paused when Bonnie followed. “Sorry Missie, I'm gonna have to ask you to stay behind. Nothing personal, just don't wantcha' getting hurt.” Bonnie's ears sunk, but she nodded. The captain, Gerson, and Grillby all made their way to the collapsed passageway. Grillby could feel the tremors of Sans' attacks. Even through the rock, he could hear his screaming along with loud wails that were no doubt Papyrus'.

“Sans! Papyrus!” Grillby shouted, rushing to the wall. The water only up to his heel in the stream and the flame prayed it didn't exceed his knee.

“Dad?” A faint voice called. “Grillby! Grillby, help!” Papyrus cried.

“We're going to get you out! Just stay calm! Are you two okay?!” There was a paused as another blaster fired. The caved shivered, pebbles and dust falling down splashing into the liquid below.

“N-No! Grillby, I'm-” The skeleton let out a shriek and a loud splash was heard. The bartender pounded his fists uselessly against the rock, calling out to his children. “Dad help!!!” Papyrus begged and Gerson placed a hand on his elbow. He nodded behind him and Grillby backed up. Gerson took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He lined his hammer up and tightened his grip. With a firm look, he straightened up and drew his hammer back and collided it into the rock twice. He stepped back and watched as a large crack emerge from his impact point and traveled up the wall and spit in two. Like magic, the rock shattered and a new passage was made.

“Didn't think I could do it.” Gerson snorted, shooting an arrogant look at the captain who looked impressed. Grillby sprinted forward and scanned the room. The lake was deeper than the small steam, already rising to halfway up his shin, getting deeper as he went. His ridiculously looking, but life-saving boots went up to his knee and although his pants were waterproof, the gap between the boot and pants left him exposed. The flame could not worry about the water for now and focus on his sons. Papyrus was cowering behind a fallen rock a few meters away while Sans was in the corner silent and unmoving. Papyrus looked up from his position and sobbed. He used the moment of calmness to his advantage and rushed over to the opening.

“Dad!” He wept, darting over to his guardian. Grillby scooped his child up, holding him tightly against his chest.

“You're okay.” Grillby chanted, secretly thankful he was forced to put on his clothes due to Papyrus' soaked body. Although his neck and face were exposed his nature heat vanished any that lingered on the skeleton's skull. “Are you hurt?” The flame asked, pulling away from the hug to look his child over.

“Y-Yes, but S-Sans he-” Papyrus turned his head to look at his brother and Grillby gasped.

“Papyrus your head!” A large crack ran down the back of his skull, small branches spreading out at the point of impact. “What happened?!” The younger one mewled, his head injury forgotten until mentioned.

“W-We had a-a fight 'n I shouted a-at Sans and he-he got mad and p-pushed me an-nd I hit my h-head.” Papyrus choked out. “B-But then h-he got q-quiet and then he-he start to scream and he-he-” His voice broke off as he sobbed and the flame hushed his child. He lifted his head, staring at Sans who had remained abnormally silent. He was standing, staring at a wall with empty sockets as his hands clawed against his skull. His mouth moved but the bartender could not hear a sound.

“Sans?” Grillby tried and the skeleton twitched. Hollow eyes face him, his sockets wide and empty, practically swallowing his entire face. “Sans, it's me Grillby.” The element spoke slowly. “Grillby and Papyrus, Sans.” The older child's fingers twitched.

“ **Pap.”** The elder child murmured. He recoiled away from his left as if someone had touched him, his left eyes illuminating. Sans appeared torn between whatever he was hallucination and Grillby but as his black eyes traveled down to Papyrus he snarled. “ **Don't touch him!** ” He boomed, a blaster appearing and firing at the element. Grillby gripped onto Papyrus and dove out of the way. “ **SHUT UP!** ” Sans shrieked, another blaster going off in a different direction. The element hissed as water splashed against his exposed face and neck as he landed on his back in a shallow part of the lake. He shot up, the death liquid migrated down his leg and stringing his foot. He ignored it, choosing to run over to the boulder Papyrus was hiding behind earlier. The element glanced down at his leg, feeling it for any serious damage before concluding he was fine for now.

“Papyrus,” Grillby said, watching Sans glare at a wall in front of him. “Papyrus, go to Gerson. He'll take you to Bonnie.” Grillby tried to let the skeleton go, but he held on.

“No! I want to help!” He voiced.

“Papyrus please, you head is too injured. I don't want you getting hurt.”

“I don't want you getting hurt!” The skeleton flung his arms around the guardian's neck.

“Kid, it's too dangerous. You are hurt, you can't risk injury over this. You don't have to always be his safety net. I can handle this.”

“No, you can't! Not alone, you don't know what to do!” Papyrus shouted and let out a yelp as a blast fired at the wall next to them.

“ **STOP CALLING ME THAT!** ”

“You don't know what he's saying!” Papyrus added, latching onto the thing that gave him the upper-hand. “You can't talk to him! You don't know WingDing!” Grillby cursed under his breath, his child painfully correct.

“Grillby?” Gerson called, still standing by. “Report, what's going on?”

“I got it handled! Do not come in here!” Grillby shouted back before facing his youngest son. “You stay behind me, got it? Listen to me if I tell you to do something, no questions. Do you understand me?” Grillby stressed and Papyrus nodded eagerly. The flame turned to face his broken child who was talking in a low tone to the space beside him. “What is he saying?” Papyrus leaned closer, attempting to listen in on his conversation.

“I don't know. I can't hear him.” He muttered. “ **Sans!** ”

“Papyrus! What did I-” Grillby snapped but went silent as the skeleton faced them. He looked surprised, hands lowering from his head. Papyrus noticed this as well and inched out of his hiding spot.

“ **Sans? C-Can you hear me?** ” The rippling water filled the air and Papyrus took in a deep breath. “ **I-I'm going to get closer, okay?** ” He waited a moment before he nudged Grillby and the two stepped closer. They managed to get halfway across the distance between them before Sans reacted. He backed away, hands pressed against his chest.

“ **N-NO! S-Stop!** ”

“Stop,” Papyrus told his guardian and the two went still. Grillby stole a glance at the lake, the liquid dancing inches away from the top of his boot. He swallowed, inhaling deeply, looking away. Surrounding himself with water was one of the more moronic things he had ever done. Standing in a lake with his unstable son who could quite literally kill him by simply knocking him into said water had definitely stolen the number one spot.

Sans watched the two forms before him carefully. His own body trembled, his breathing erratic. He was exhausted from his magic overuse but his blind panic kept him alert. A long shadow loomed between them and Sans snarled at its appearance.

 **“** **Still in the way,”** Gaster stated, looking at the monsters before Sans.

 **“** **Śo͞ anno̧yi̷n͞g.** **”**

 ****_**“** _ _**All those blasters and you still missed. You're so useless.”** _

****The skeleton growled, bony digits cracking as his fist formed, a blaster manifesting and shooting the area the shadow lurked. Papyrus and Grillby flinched away from the light, but the water movement startled the frantic child. Sans' wrapped his arms around himself, taking a step back.

“ **S-Sans?** ” Papyrus stuttered, inhaling deeply to calm his nerves. “ **U-Um, c-can you-** ” The younger sibling extended his hand outward, but his brother pressed himself against the wall.

“ **D-DON'T TOUCH!** ” He yelped, his cyan magic lighting up in defense. “ **N-Not real. Don't touch. Can't touch. D-D-Don't t-touch-** ” The skeleton gasped, flinging his own arm away when it gripped onto his elbow too tightly. He squeaked, falling over in the water. He sunk under, shooting back up with a wheeze when the water covered his skull. “NO!”

“Dad, what do I do?” Papyrus whispered, unaware of how to approach the situation. Grillby lowered the arm he used to shield himself from Sans' splashing.

“Get his attention on you.” The bartender told his child, locking his gaze onto Sans who was muttering to himself. “Keep his attention on you, okay? Get him to talk to you.” Papyrus squirmed but nodded with a whimper.

“ **S-...Sans? B-Brother?** ” The skeleton covered the sides of his heads, shaking his head.

“ **I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. Not real. Can't hurt. I'm sorry.** ” The skeleton was unaware of where he was. His vision lied, his hearing lied, nothing made sense. His body was shivering from the cold but he didn't know why he was cold. He felt heavy and wet but had no idea why. The world around him spun and shifted. Shadowed figured appeared and disappeared, haunting him and mocking him with familiar faces. Voices spoke to him, tormenting him. Whispering and screaming for him to attack, to die, to give up. Images and words flashed by, none of it connecting or making sense. Labs, Grillby, home, Papyrus, Gaster, therapy, water, cold, fear! Sans felt like his head was about to explode. Too many thoughts swirled and appeared, not one lasting longer than second before five more appeared. His soul felt constricted and tight as if it was about to give out, unable to handle and keep up with his mind.

He couldn't recall who he was or where he was. For all, he knew everything around him was real or fake. It could be a dream he'd wake up from. Or it could be a reality he needed to escape. At this moment, it did not matter. The distorted vision was making him nauseous and his anxiety was making it impossible to breathe.

Sans sobbed, unable to gather enough air. He hunched over, gasping for it, his hand clinging to the front of his shirt over his soul that was bright and pulsating. The skeleton gagged, lacking anything to throw up but continue to dry heave and wheeze. He just wanted it to stop. He didn't care how, just as long as it ended. As long as everything just went away, if that resulted in his death then so be it.

Limbs wrapped around his neck and the skeleton froze. Papyrus ignored his gut and Grillby, taking advantage of his brother's distracted mind to step forward and hug him. He held on, the two waiting for the other to do something. Sans reacted first after minutes of silence. He shifted to pull back but the arms held on.

“ **I'm sorry, Sans.** ” Sans let out a low whine, pushing against his capturer.

“ **S-Stop. Let go! I-I didn't mean to-y-you can't-** ” Sans continued to shove, uncomfortable with the friendly contact. He didn't deserve it. He didn't earn it. He shouldn't get it. He had to be alone.

“ **I'm sorry.** ” The voice said again and Sans moaned, sockets shut tightly. Stop apologizing. He didn't deserve apologies!

“ **Don't! Can't take! Don't deserve! Stop! Stop it! Hurt! I hurt him! It's all my fault. Don't touch me!** ” Who did he hurt? Someone he cares about, someone he loved. Disgusting. Vile. Demonic. Abomination.

“ **I-I'm sorry.** ” Crying. They were crying. Had he done this? He had to have. He was always at fault.

“ **I didn't mean to!** ” Sans cried out, bawling like a child. “ **Failure. Failure. Failure! Failure!** **FAILURE! WORTHLESS! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!** ” He yanked and tugged, screaming as he tried to free himself.

“Papyrus let go of him. He's going to hurt you.” Grillby stated, stepping closer and wincing as the water sunk slightly, weeping into his shoes.

“No!” Papyrus hollered. He yelped as Sans began clawing at him, screaming illogical sentences.

“Papyrus let him-”

“No! **Sans! Sans, please calm down!** ” The younger child begged and Sans refused to calm him. “ **Sans, brother, please. You're hurting me. Stop, Sans please, I'm scared.** ” He sobbed and Sans stopped his clawing.

“ **Scared. Scared. Scarred. Hurt. Broken. Bones. I'm scared. I'm scared. I hurt. Useless. Useless. Useless.** ” Sans babbled and Papyrus eased up as his brother stopped his assault.

“ **Why are you scared? Brother, talk to me.** ” Papyrus pleaded and Sans wheezed.

“ **Brother. Brother. Papyrus. Papyrus. He hurt him. I hurt him. He made me hurt him. Gaster. Gaster lied. Gaster made me hurt Papyrus. Hate. I hate him. Papyrus hates me. Worthless. Dead. Just die. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't.** ” Papyrus released Sans' arm and he pulled in close. His brother sobbed, weakly rejecting the embrace he did not deserve.

“ **Brother, I love you and could never hate you. I am sorry I got upset, I did not mean to hurt you like this. I am so very sorry, Sans.** ”

“ **Don't forgive. Hate. Hate. Don't deserve. Hurt.** **Pain. Terrible. Terrible. Better off. Better off dead.** **Stop. No!** **Don't touch! DON'T TOUCH ME!** ” Sans lashed out shoving Papyrus away. The younger skeleton fell back into the water with a holler and Sans winced as the water splashed against him. Papyrus ground his teeth together, the freezing water acting as no helpful resource to his head injury.

“ **S-Sans stop-** ” The taller skeleton kicked out splattered the lake at his sibling, keeping him away. Papyrus remained distant and Sans sloshed more water at him causing him to jerk away. The older skeleton paused, taking in the movement before he began beating against the water, hoping to force the figures away with enough splashing. Grillby bit back a shout as the liquid shot at his face, dousing part of his flame. He backed away instinctively, standing no chance again Sans' bizarre form or attack. Papyrus remained close, his injury only throbbing with every movement he made. The constant splashing was beyond irritating, however, and Papyrus was tired of getting water in his nasal cavity.

“Quit it!” Papyrus whined, flicking the lake water back gently.

“ **Go away!** ” The child demanded, dousing his sibling with wave after wave of water.

“ **Quit it!** ” Papyrus complained, bringing his own hand down on the water to drench his brother. Sans choked, pupils flickering back into his empty sockets momentarily, the icy temperature stilling him momentarily. Papyrus had not noticed, instead feeling rather self-satisfied with himself. “ **It's cold, isn't it?** ” He taunted, sprinkling some more water on at him. Sans moaned, leaning away, the coldness causing his mind and body to freeze up. His previous horrified expression was morphing into one or mild annoyance and uneasiness as his began focusing more on his shivering instead of his mind.

“Splash him again,” Grillby told Papyrus, noticing Sans' demeanor change. Papyrus did as he was told, slapping his hand on the water.

“ **Stop it,** ” Sans grumbled, shivering where he sat. When had he gotten so cold?

Papyrus noticed the change now. His brother's soul not longer shining through him, his pupils acting like a bulb about to go out. His gaze darted between the water, his hands, and his brother unsure if he should do what he was thinking. Papyrus had never been one to think through his ideas, though. He let his faith and beliefs guild him, knowing even if his idea failed his heart was in the right place. The younger child sucked in as much oxygen as he could and propelled himself forward at his sibling. Before Sans had time to react, Papyrus had latched onto him and pulled him down. The two were submerged in the deeper section of the lake, barely able to fully emirs themselves in the shallow water. Sans' world went white as he was encased in an arctic chill. His hearing was drowned out, vision gone, and mind silent. His attention only focusing on the water that yanked him back to reality.

Sans kicked against the ground and his head broke the surface. He scampered out of the deeper section until the water rested below his hips. He gasped for air, a heavy weigh released him and he was thankful, allowing him the ability to take in deeper breaths. He rested on his hands and knees, coughing violently before his eyes opened to take in his surrounding. The skeleton's pupils returned completely, small and trembling as he surveyed the room, landing on the two monsters before him. Papyrus stood inches away, dripping and observing him while Grillby remained farther away but with an equally intense gaze. Sans noted the lake and tension in the air, his gasps of air fading into deep breaths.

“ **Sans?** ” Papyrus tried, getting no response other than his older brother just looked at him. Papyrus stood up slowly, skull feeling as if it was splitting in half but brushed it off. He stepped closer to his sibling and Sans remained motionless. The two were inches apart when Sans blinked, tears forming in his sockets. An avalanche of exhaustion washed over him, draining him of all his strength. He slumped forward, nearly knocking Papyrus over. Papyrus held onto his brother, figuring out what to say but his sibling beat him to it.

 **“I'm sorry,”** Sans whispered, shoulders shaking.

 **“It's okay. I forgive you.”** Sans shook his head, sobbing softly.

 **“Why?”** He cried, clutching at the fabric of his brother's jacket. **“I hurt you. I hurt you so much.”**

 **“I love you,”** Papyrus told his brother. Sans' sockets closed, arms wrapping around his brother tightly, burying his face in his neck as he wept.

“Papyrus.” Sans wailed fingers clinging to his sweater, sobs shaking his entire body.

“Sans,” Papyrus smiled, his boney arms surrounding his sibling. His warm, glowing hands providing such a familiar and comforting feeling.

“I'm sorry, Pap. I'm so sorry.” Sans bawled, unable to control the floodgate of tears. His insanity had consumed him. He panicked, lashed out, hurt his family. Yet, before him, they stood refusing to abandon him. He did not deserve this. He'd never deserve this for what he had done. Papyrus should hate him. He should be shoving Sans away telling him all the awful things the voices told him. Sans had felt like he needed to give up, die, anything to make up for what he had caused his brother. Maybe deep down he still believed he deserved it, but in this moment, he could not care nor bring himself to. Now, in his arms was his forgiving brother telling him he was okay and that he loved him, and Sans couldn't control himself. “I love you, Papyrus, so much,” Sans whispered and Papyrus squeezed him holding him closer.

“I love you too, Sans. Very, very much, too much even. Tons of tons of love.” Papyrus grinned nuzzling their skulls together. “A skele-ton.” Sans did not laugh but just continued to cry.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” Sans cried, repeating his apology over and over again. He only stopped to let out wails, attempting to continue only to end up a blubbering mess.

Grillby's practically collapsed with relief. He raised his head and watched his children cling onto each other for dear life. The flame made his way over but stopped when the water risked getting too high. Papyrus noticed this and awkwardly shifted the two skeletons closer until Grillby could pick them up.

“Come on.” He muttered, carefully lifting them up. Sans continued to lightly cry into his brother while his sibling held on. Grillby's regular temperature was lower due to the water damage that spotted across his body. As much as he wanted to provide his children with a warm fire to dry in, he could barely keep their dripping clothes from dousing more of his flame. The guardian took his time exiting the shallow lake, avoiding more injuries than what had already been done. Gerson and Al waited patiently by the entrance. They seemed to relax spotting everyone unharmed, but Gerson hid a look of concern Grillby was familiar with spotting. His wrinkled green skin would twitch, his grip tightening on his cane, almost unnoticeable to those who had no seem him during troubled times. Grillby must have looked as worse as he felt. The captain stood with a more pitiful and wary posture, clearly not use to dealing with children or intense family matters.

“Dogamy called a medic,” Gerson informed, trying to not stare at the bruises marking across the element's face. “Looks like you all could use a glance over.” He added, noticing the crack in Papyrus' skull.

“Would you-uh, like me to-?” The captain stepped forward to assist the flame with the children but Grillby tightened his grip and backed away. His body sparking weakly, in a threatening manner.

“No.” The element voiced in a cool tone. Sans whimpered and the flame inhaled deeply. “Sorry, no. I got it. Thank you, though.” The crocodile nodded, backing away before more damage could be done. “Do you mind telling everyone to back off, please?” Grillby voiced, spotting some snooping guards poking their heads out from behind a wall.

“Yea, soldier.” Gerson agreed. “Can't have those damn dogs jumping on them.” He nodded to the captain who marched off, telling his members to fall back. “Let's get you out of the water, flame man.” Gerson cautiously approached Grillby and aided the flame in exiting the stream. The flame had not realized how exhausted and physically weak he had gotten until he felt himself leaning on his old friend. The dogs and fellow guard members were hovering a few feet away from Gerson's shop. They whispered loudly and watched as they approached the store. Bonnie's foot beat anxiously against the floor, her fur wrinkled in lines or worry. A calm and professional fish-like monster stood by her, that Grillby assumed was the medic. Upon approaching Bonnie rushed forward only to stop herself once taking in her friend's appearance. The bartender attempted to offer her a smile but it turned more into a grimace. The old turtle bypassed them, steering Grillby and his children into Gerson's shop and out of the nosey eyes of the guard.

“Minnow here is a fine on call doc'.” The old turtle informed, motioning to the fish who waited patiently a few feet away. “Helped me out a few times when I fell over stocking the shelves.”

“Hello,” Minnow introduced with a slight bow and Grillby nodded. Her oval pupils scanned the three, lingering longer on the element. “If you don't mind, I'd like to take care of your wounds first.”

“I'd prefer it if you did his.” Grillby motioned to Papyrus, who looked up.

 “I can do both.” She snapped on some gloves and opened her bag on the counter.

“Grillby, I'll take Sans.” Bonnie insisted, holding out her hands. Grillby was reluctant, to let either child go but if he didn't nothing would be done. It took some coaxing, mainly on Papyrus' part to get Sans' to release his death grip on his family. However, once he felt Bonnie's soft fur and cinnamon bun smell he latched on, absorbing her body heat. Papyrus was set on the counter and Grillby sat on a chair beside him. Minnow instructed Grillby remove his gloves, shirt, and shoes so she could get to work. While he did so the medic delicately applied a soft pink cream to the skeleton's skull. She used tweezers to pull a seaweed like leaf out of a jaw of yellow oil and rested it on the wound, instructing Papyrus to hold it down as she attended to Grillby's wounds.

Bonnie watched from afar, stroking Sans' back and occasionally rocking him out of her baby carrying habits. Sans did not seem to mind it for the most part only tugging on her fur and making a soft noise when he felt motion sick. Gerson's thumb idly traced random patterns on his cane, watching the skeletons. His long, thick nail scraping against the many lines carved in from years of habit. The continuous silence was getting to him and being as straightforward as he was, decided to do something about it. He made his way over to his crabapple stand grabbed one at random. The turtle felt it around before proceeding to advance towards Bonnie's direction. Grillby noticed his path and tensed up.

“Gerson.” He warned but the turtle ignored him. “Gerson, don't.”

“Keep your flame down, Grillby.” The turtle dismissed standing before the skeleton, equal height with him in Bonnie's arms. “Kid knows me, don't cha?” Gerson held out the fruit and smiled crookedly at the skeleton. Sans' peeled open his tear filled sockets, sniffing as he gazed at the red object. His wide pupils shifted between the apple and the turtle, recollection dancing across his features. His tremble hand released Bonnie's fur and shirt, reaching out to gently graze the apple. Upon contact, he retracted his hand as if expecting a trap. Gerson remained still and the skeleton tried once again, this time closing his small hand around the fruit. He watched the turtle and Gerson released his grip, his hand coming back to rest on his cane.

“I stole your crabapples.” The skeleton rasped out, voice shredded from the screaming.

“That you did.” Gerson agreed in an amused tone and Sans brought the fruit to him, examining it. “Stole twenty-six of them if I'm correct.” The skeleton's brow bone furrowed.

“I stole nine.” He corrected and Gerson grinned.

“Sharp memory, squirt. I was testing you, you passed.” Gerson pulled out another apple from behind his back and Sans blinked, his sparkling eyes making up for the emotionless face. Gerson tossed it at him and the skeleton flinched but caught it, fumbling with it momentarily. “Always wondered what happened to you two. Glad to see you got a home, and with Grillby no less. Surprise, surprise.” He laughed and the flame shot the turtle a puzzled expression, wincing as the doctor applied the medicine to his face, muttering out an apology.

“You knew them?” The element asked and the turtle nodded.

“Yeah, everyone asked around about them. Folks 'round here talk, not like Snowdin, mind you. They talk but it ain't ever gossip. Anyways, couple 'a  kids always saw them in the dumps. The town runt always asked me about 'em. But it's not like I know everyone in the Underground. Try telling that to a kid.” Gerson chuckled, shaking his head. “A feisty one like her too. Little twirp would bring me all sorts of stuff labeled 'evidence'. Actin' like some guard member on the case of the stolen crabapples. Even brought me to some place she claimed was your base.”

“She's the one who stole our fort!” Papyrus shouted, recalling a small fish monster who hijacked their Waterfall fort and watched it for days.

“Yeah, sounds like Undyne.” Gerson snorted, stroking his beard. “Kid comes by every day asking for a fight. I'd be scared she'll end up beaten some day but she's kicked almost every kids' butt in the whole area, even some adults too. Actually, I'm surprised she isn't here now.” He hummed, looking at his door. “Must be bothering old Asgore, today Tuesday? Kid always wonders off one Tuesday, or was it Thursday? Bah,” the turtle waved it off. “Point is, I know these two. Snagged some of my apples, pretty good at it too. Only caught 'em twice.” He winked at Sans who looked away, slightly embarrassed. “But hey, maybe now I can charge you for the damage, Grillby.” The turtle joked. “Hey, eat up, kid.” Gerson tapped a nail against one of the crabapples Sans held onto when he noticed he hadn't eaten them yet. “You're already on your way to a cold. You'll need all the magic support you can get to push it off.” 

“I don't get sick,” Sans stated.

“Yeah, and flames don't go swimming” Gerson pointed a thumb in Grillby's direction. “But some stuff happens. You aren't some super monster, squirt.” Gerson pulled out a handkerchief and reached up to wipe at Sans' nasal cavity, pulling back to offer it to him. “Your runny nose there says so.” Sans reached up to touch his nose, unaware of how stuffy it had gotten.

“Please give them both a hot bath,” Minnow ordered, bandaging Papyrus' head as Grillby dressed himself. “They'll no doubt be under the weather, but at least you can try to prevent a serious illness by getting them out of these wet clothes and into a warm bed.” Grillby nodded and Minnow began cleaning up her supplies.

“Thank you,” Papyrus smiled and the medic offered the same expression. Papyrus was still dizzy and his guardian carted him over to his brother who offered him an apple.

“Here,” Gerson tossed a patched blanket at Grillby who caught it. “Got no clothes but at least that'll keep them from turning into popsicles from the Snowdin air.”

“Thanks.” Grillby wrapped the blanket around Sans, choosing to provide Papyrus with warmth from his own rejuvenize body. With a final exchange of thanks and goodbyes, the two adults left the shop with the skeleton children in tow. Al stood by, keeping the guards in check as they walked through, bidding them a good night.

Sans' sockets drooped, bags dark under his sockets from the exhaustion of the day. He wasn't even able to stay awake for the short walk home and had even fallen asleep in the bath. Each time he was woken up he yelped, forgetting his environment momentarily before he'd ease up. Grillby wasn't one hundred percent certain Sans was aware of his place in reality or not. He had instinctively led them back home and hadn't even recalled the skeleton's previous discontentment with the location until Bonnie pointed it out when the skeletons were bathing. Sans made no comment about it and honestly looked too exhausted to care. Grillby decided to prevent any incidents in the morning by allowing the children to sleep in his room. The second they were set down on the plush material they were out cold and Grillby offered Bonnie a bed as well but she declined.

“Hey, Grill.” The bunny voiced before the flame shut the door on her. She looked completely drained with a small smile but still honest and sincere even with her dark beady eyes shadowed by exhaustion. “You're a great dad.” Grillby paused, the two holding a firm gaze as scattered snowflakes fell from above, sticking to her cream fur.

The element never thought about his fatherly rating with his child often. He more often than not just envisioned himself as their friend unless situations called for the title to be known. Even still, over the past few months, the flame's confidence in his parental abilities was fading. Blame was an easy thing to pin against someone. Everyone in the household blamed incidents on themselves including Grillby. He should have paid closer attention to Sans, given Papyrus more affection, found better coping methods, got them to help sooner, so many problems he could have avoided but failed to. He did question his ability to raise Sans and Papyrus, even without truly realizing it. He had never wanted children and the closest thing he got to raising one was spending a couple weeks with Fiora. But he had never raised her, Flint and Sulfi did. Grillby hadn't even really raised his own children as well. It hadn't even been a full year since they first encountered one another and comparing those skeletons to the ones inside, Grillby couldn't tell which one was worse. The element even believed he may have done more harm than good. He saved them from starvation but at the price of their emotional stability.

Yet Bonnie said he was a great dad. She had not seen every episode and attack that happened but had seen enough to know Grillby was far from 'great'. The bartender supplied Sans and Papyrus with material possessions, but that didn't make him great. Reactions were what mattered. Memories they'd cherish and recall on dark days. Perhaps even memories Grillby reminisced about. Purchasing their home, watching the two skeleton squeal with excitement as tears of joy rolls down their face. The first time they called him dad and every time after. Even the smaller ones of him holding their hands as they walked to get nice cream or tucking them in at night. Grillby held every memory of them close for they had become a part of him now. The idea of them vanishing from his life, returning to his quiet bar and empty bed was nightmarish. He'd miss hearing them laugh or speak. He'd feel so empty staring at the cold floor they'd be laying on coloring or playing with one another. His appetite would vanish sitting alone at his table without Sans' witty comments about whatever food they were eating filling the air. A part of him would be gone without them there, bringing out new forms of happiness he had never known before.

And he hoped that they felt the same as well. He believed they felt the same, even just a little. From the therapy session to just talks, the skeletons viewed Grillby in a way no one came close to. Sans began to rely on him and trust him, putting the safety of his brother and himself in the flame's hands. Papyrus trusted him to be there for his brother when he was too afraid to speak. The two would crawl into his bed at night with horrors of the past haunting their dreams and be there the next morning clinging onto him so the element wouldn't be able to move. They believed in his word and guidance, choosing to go to therapy and take medication despite Sans' fears. They latched onto one another in times of need, leaning against Grillby relying and believing he'd protect them when they count not protect themselves. They cared for Grillby, even after his blunders they did not blame him for. The bartender may doubt his skill and ability but he could not confuse their certainly. Not after feeling their trembling limbs cling to him, placing their lives in his hands. He was their guardian, their friend, their savior, their father.

They all blamed themselves for what had happened, though, that hardly mattered. For after the blame, the anger, and tears, it was Sans and Papyrus who dove into Grillby's open and awaiting arms and Grillby who would always have them open.

“Thank you, Bonnie.” The element whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear.

“You're welcome, Grillby.” She replied, and with one last smile, left listening to the door click shut quietly behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. If you couldn't tell, I had the choice to do a lot of things with this chapter and didn't know if doing those were a good idea. 
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and support, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	35. Sleepy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Hannah for editing as always.

The next day Grillby woke up later than usual, but still earlier than this children. They didn't so much as twitch when Grillby got out of bed and dressed in casual attire. They remained relatively close together, skulls nuzzling and limbs tangled. The guardian flicked his wrist a few times, trying to lower his temperature as much as possible before he rests the back of his lukewarm palm against their foreheads. Although Grillby was hardly affected by temperature and often judged it based on how badly it affected his flame, he did notice his children were warmer than usual. Whether that was due to his own hand or not would have to wait until he could take their temperature. Still, the likelihood of them waking up to a slight fever would not surprise him at all. Everyone had been completely depleted of all their physical and emotional strength after yesterday's events. Grillby wouldn't be surprised if his children slept in until the early afternoon, and he was not about to stop them from that either.

The guardian fled the room leaving the door open as he left. He went downstairs and called the school to inform them Papyrus would not be in before heading out the door. The flame quickly marched to his bar, checking it over to ensure everything was in place before he hung up a sign in the bar door informing the town it would be closed for family matters. During the walk back, Grillby pondered over his lost revenue since his children entering his life. Considering how many days the bar had been closed this week alone, the bartender assumed a lot. Not that it truly mattered to him in any way. Material positions were not really something he cared too much about. The bartender was more than content with a simple minimalistic lifestyle with a possible decoration here or there. Over his years, most of his money either went to his bar or spent on gifts for his friends and family. Of course, now it all went to Sans and Papyrus, buying new clothes, toys, and overall spoiling them. Perhaps spoiling wasn't the best word, at least not to Grillby. They boys felt like they were being spoiled and living like kings despite having an average child's room. Maybe Papyrus had a few more toys than most, but both children focused more on the clothes and bed when they thought of things that they truly appreciated. When Bonnie blabbered about her cousin's pregnancy, Sans and Papyrus both volunteered to donate a majority of their possessions despite Bonnie telling them they didn't need to. His children believe they were spoiled, but when Grillby watched them play with every toy and use every item given, ensuring none of them were left alone long enough to collect a speck of dust, he knew they weren't. They used their belongings until they broke, and even then they tried to convince Grillby they were still good. Their charitable mentality was bittersweet, making the guardian both proud his sons understood the evils of wasting or being unappreciative but also sad that they had a slight hoarding mentality.

With a loud sigh, the flame shook away the thought as he returned home, he checked up on his children ensuring they were alright. They remained in the same position he left them in and Grillby envied their comfortable appearance, wanting to crawl back into bed with them. Though he wasn't in pain or sick from the event, his body was sore and he was still emotionally exhausted. The element decided to rest on the bed with a book after realizing he really had nothing else to do until his children woke up. He hadn't realized he dozed off till he felt the sheets below him shuffle. He opened his eyes, glasses askew as he looked to his left. Papyrus had sat up, leaning over with half-lidded eyes, staring at the blanket.

“...gonna puke,” Papyrus muttered, unmoving. Grillby jumped out of the bed and rushed over to his child but it was too late. With vomit covering the comforter, the skeleton apologized but Grillby reassured him, handing him a bucket before he removed the comforter from the bed shoving it into the wash. The flame returned to his child only to find Papyrus fast asleep, resting on the bucket he gave him. Grillby shook his head, resting his child back on the bed before continuing to his previous position, staying awake this time.

At around eleven Papyrus woke up again but did not drift back to sleep minutes later. His head was throbbing so painfully he wanted to cry and any fast movement or loud voice made matters worse. Grillby had tried to get him to eat and take some medication but nothing would stay down. Still, Papyrus continued to stay hydrated as his guardian asked, occasionally nibbling on a plate of crackers that seemed to be the only thing that didn't want to force its way out of him seconds later.

“Here,” Grillby held out an icepack, barely touching it to prevent it from melting.

“I don't want to.” He mumbled cringing at the thought of it coming in contact with this head and the flame offered him a sympathetic smile.

“It'll help,” the flame told his son wrapping it in a town. “Can I?” The element held it over Papyrus' skull and the skeleton whimpered but nodded. As delicately as he possibly could, the flame pressed the icepack against the child's forehead at first, easing his fever. Papyrus relaxed, the cold providing a wonderful relief for his hot body. Carefully, the flame dragged the icepack back and rested it over Papyrus' freshly bandaged crack. He moaned, wincing but not pulling away. It stung at first, the contact unwanted and unwelcomed but as the cooling feeling seeped through the bandage it eased the throbbing and started to numb him. Papyrus released his bucket, using both hands to hold onto the ice pack himself, sockets closing as the soothing sensation grew.

“Has Sans woken up yet?” The smaller one asked eyes still shut and Grillby shook his head.

“No, think he'll sleep for a couple more hours. He used a lot more energy than we did.” Papyrus nodded in agreement. “Want me to ask Bonnie to pick up the school work you missed? I know you aren't a fan of being absent.”

“No.” Papyrus answered too quickly, flinching as his hand pressed too tightly against his wound, body tensing up. “Um, no it's fine.” Grillby watched his child who avoided his gaze.

“You sure? You hate missing school.” With the topic in the air, the guardian noticed his son's unusual silence on the matter. Papyrus would normally complain about missing school and not being able to see his friends but as of late the skeleton hasn't spoken a word about it. Grillby figured it was due to the whole Sans incident but his son's reaction said differently.

“Yeah, I'll get it later or when I go back. It's fine.”

“It doesn't sound fine. Is every-”

“I'm tired,” Papyrus announced, refusing to look at his father. “I'm just sick is all, I'm going to take a nap.”

“You don't have to tell me why you're lying, Papyrus.” Grillby told his child. “Just don't lie to me.” Papyrus didn't respond, just closed his eyes, pulling the blanket over his face. Grillby did not fight him or pressure him to speak. He instead, rested against the side of the bed and pulled out his phone. He thumbed away at the small keypad typing out a message to Bonnie about picking up Papyrus' school work and asking the teacher if something was wrong. His finger hovered over the send button, tapping it against it as he contemplated sending the message. Stealing a glance at his child, he sighed and deleted it, closing the phone and tossing it aside. If Papyrus didn't want him knowing right now, he wasn't going to go snooping around for it.

That did not stop his curiosity from eating away at him. What could be happening? Snowdin wasn't exactly a bad area, no place in the Underground was. Papyrus was getting good grades so it wasn't a failed test. He didn't come home missing things or beaten up so physical violence wasn't it. Was someone bullying him verbally? Did a teacher not like him? Did he like someone in class? Ever since returning to school Papyrus had usually stayed inside and with Sans and Grillby couldn't figure out if that was because of school or not. Papyrus had chosen Sans over his social life on multiple occasions but had been vocal about it or at the very least tried to get Sans to join him. Grillby hadn't heard the skeleton mention any friend at all or hardly anything about school. Grillby would ask when he picked up Papyrus after school what he did and he answered normally, saying what he learned and what homework he had to do. Then he'd get home, finish that homework and spent time with his brother. It had never occurred to him before that something could be wrong until now. 

The flame exhaled, resting an arm over his face. Maybe he should ask Bonnie for help. She knew kids better than he did. Grillby would barely even have to explain the situation before Bonnie told him the issue as if it was the simplest thing. And maybe to a monster who spent most of their life around children it was, but Grillby was still painfully new to the normal raising and parental part of his job. He could help his children mentally and be their best friend but when it came to those common troubles every child had, Grillby was the type of father who would direct his children to his spouse and make them solve it. Unfortunately, he had no spouse and didn't want to have Bonnie be his go-to mom.

There was a soft thump behind the flame and he turned to find Sans face first in the mattress, curled in some sort of loaf position. It appeared as if he tried to sit up and then proceeded to give up. The guardian waited, listening to the sporadic crackles and pops his body gave. When Sans remained still, Grillby reached over and nudged him. The skeleton let out a grunt and the element poked his child again. Sans weakly pushed himself up into a sitting position, sockets still closed but head tilted in his father's direction.

“Gonna be sick?” The flame asked, bucket at the ready.

“W-” Sans voice came out raspy and hoarse, completely damaged and gone from his episode yesterday. As if realizing his voice was gone, the child growled, which sounded more like an annoyed huff, and rested his head in his hands. Finger dragged down his face, sockets barely opening to look at his guardian with exhausted eyes. He blinked lazily, faded pupils dragging him to his brother who had actually fallen back asleep before returning to his guardian. The older child pushed himself up but regretted it immediately when a wave of nausea crashed into him. He doubled over and Grillby lunged forward, barely making it in time with the bucket. Sans hurled, sockets squeezed shut as he clung to the bucket. Grillby rubbed his son's back as he continued to vomit. Sans eventually leaned back, only hacking occasionally. He spit in the bucket removing a string that dripped from his mouth. He cringed, wiping it off on his shirt before exhaling loudly. 

"You all good?" The flame asked reaching over to take the bucket. Sans shrugged, obviously not caring about much more than sleep. Grillby focused on his child's mouth where a black stain appeared. He frowned reaching out to turn his son's head to face him getting a closer look at the unknown substance. Grillby looked down at the bucket, turning it to face him so he could glance at the vomit. Upon seeing a similar coloured mixture inside, swirling among the sick like some black plague, the element's concern rose.

"Sans? Sans, what is this? Why is it black?" Sans just shrugged once more, far too tired to explain. "Hey, no, do not fall asleep. What is this and why did it come out of you? Answer me or we're going to the hospital." The skeleton scoffed and peeled open his sockets, scowling at his guardian. 

"I-" he winced, grabbing his throat face contorted into a look of pain. Sans swallowed, shaking his head, he snapped his fingers and pointed to the bartender's book. The flame got up, setting the bucket down and digging through his nightstand, removing a pen and notebook for his child. Sans snatched it up and flung it open to a random page, scribbling the pen until the ink came out. He wrote down some words before handing it to the flame.

 _It's normal. Happens sometimes. Don't worry. Side effect. _

"What do you mean side effect? Sans, you are vomiting black goo, that's not normal." The skeleton stole the notebook back.

 _Tired. Machine. Gaster. Side effect. Fine. Not deadly probably._

"Probably?!" Sans let out a loud sigh, throwing his head back. He pointed to the first word in the second sentence but Grillby wouldn't budge.

 _Can't explain. Doctor won't know. Day we left, fell in machine. Void. Gaster. It happens. Not bad._

"Has this happened before?" Sans nodded. "Since when?" Sans underlines 'day we left'. "Sans this isn't healthy." The skeleton bobbed his head. "You're okay, though? It's not going to like, kill you?" Sans just shrugged not making the flame feel better in any way. "Can you explain this to me, please? When you feel better?" The child agreed and pointed to his throat making a drinking motion with his hand.

“Water?” With a nod, Grillby went over to his bedside table where he had set up an array of supplies for when his son woke up. He set the pen and notepad down and carted his child close to him, handing him his medication and the water. Sans swallowed down his pill and a few more Grillby handed him before downing the rest of the glass. “Want something to eat?”

“No.” Sans croaked out, voice more audible with the water. The skeleton fell back into the bed with his eyes shut and the element thought he had fallen back asleep, but his bony arm was raised to tap against his skull before pointing to his brother.

“He's fine. Just a headache and sick.” Sans gave him a thumbs up before coughing violently. He cringed, his coughing racking through his sore body, doing more harm than good. He whined, trying to breathe through his stuffy nasal cavity resulting in a small fit of sneezing that turned into one more round of coughing. Sans moaned, shivering despite his body feeling abnormally hot.

“...dead...” The child breathed and Grillby pulled the covers over him.

“Not yet, kid. I'm going to get you some cough medicine, try to stay up.” The skeleton let out a grunt and Grillby fled the room. He shuffled around the bathroom cabinet until he found the syrupy medicine and strolled back over to his bedroom. The flame paused, attention on the living room table where the letter from Asgore remained unanswered. Grillby's finger tapped against the bottle, the letter completed forgotten about over the past few days. Asgore had said he managed to get inside the area Sans and Papyrus had freed themselves from. He eagerly waited his response yet Grillby hadn't so much as called him. He reached for his phone and realized he left it in the bedroom. He was getting far too lost in thought as of late, most likely due to his still ever present exhaustion.

The flame entered his room, setting the medicine aside when he noted Sans was already asleep once more. Retrieving his phone, he double checked both skeletons were asleep and breathing before making his way downstairs. He took a seat on the couch looking over the letter as he dialled Asgore's number. The bartender waiting, several rings passing before the line picked up.

“He-shoot,” some shuffling sounded on the other end and Grillby waited patiently for the King to situate himself, knowing his distaste for the small devices. “Hello?”

“Hello Asgore, it's Grillby.”

“Oh! Hello, Grillby. I had no expected you to call, but I'm glad you did. Are you and your children alright?” The flame was about to question why he was asking but realized Al must have reported back to Asgore after the ordeal was over.

“We are all safe. The boys are asleep, a bit ill from the water.”

“I am sorry to hear that. I do hope they recover soon.” There was a beat of silence that passed between them. “Are you by chance calling about the letter I sent?” Asgore wondered, bringing up the topic for him.

“Yes, I am. I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner but things have been rather hectic and I haven't had the time.”

“Is Sans' recovery going well?”

“It's-...We're getting there.” There was no need to lie to Asgore but also no need to be so honest over the phone as well. “We are just trying to find the right medication. The one he is currently on isn't working out so Kawa is looking into the next option.”

“I understand. Let's return to the topic of my letter.” Grillby folded the paper up, setting it on the table. “Tur and I, mainly him, have been going through the area. There is...a lot. Things that neither of us can explain nor understand.”

“What do you mean? What's in there?” Grillby wondered, wondering how the royal scientist could be unfamiliar with laboratory equipment.

“Hardly anything, yet quite a lot. It looked like a regular research lab like the Core, but just empty of life. Most of the room were completely untouched except for a few empty ones and numerous testing rooms.” Grillby's grip tightened on his phone. “There was a room with a bizarre contraption in it. It appears to have gone wrong since there have been dust particles throughout the room and odd, black stains and this machine itself appears to be destroyed." The flame's gaze snapped to his bedroom door the discovery clicking instantly with what Sans had told him minutes ago. Machine, this machine. Sans fell into it and somehow it got destroyed? Had Sans been the cause of that destruction? And the black stains, was it the same as whatever came out of his son? "I don't really know what to make of it all, to be honest. Tur has been trying to gather any information but it-well, I don't know how to explain it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there were files and information inside of a room that I no doubt suspect was used for experimentation. These files are practically overflowing with material but half of it is unusable. There are voice recorders but all of them appear broken. When played they just sound like static and a bad radio connection.”

“Do you mean, glitchy or staticy?” Grillby pressed wondering if the King was familiar with the skeleton's made up language.

“Just static, it doesn't sound like a voice at all. We've tried playing it backwards and everything but it's just nothing. There are also papers but large chunks of text are just gone. It is all written in that language Sans knows but words are just not there, like they just vanished. It is all written in ink and yet someone how chunks or random words are gone as if they had just never existed in the first place.” The bartender took in a deep breath.

“But there is still some writing?”

“Very minimal, but yes. There is more, however, I...” Asgore trailed off and Grillby frowned.

“What?” More silence followed and the flame felt an uneasy feeling bubble within him. “Asgore, what else is there?”

“There are files on both Sans and Papyrus.” There was a soft noise in the background and Asgore inhaled. “I've taken them both into custody and have them at my home. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see them or not. There are things inside that are hard to--...that are hard to forget.” Grillby hand rested over his mouth, gaze locked with the wall in front of him.

“What's in them?” Grillby asked in a low voice, afraid of the answer he was about to receive.

“They are extremely different in size, but contain the same things. Sans' is a dictionary while Papyrus' is more like a short story, though.”

“How do you know which is which?”

“...There are photos inside.” The flame tensed, an uneasy chill jolting through him. “Photos, reports, graphs, a lot missing but all in those symbols. Papyrus' folder is crossed out, perhaps something went wrong.” Memories of Sans' episodes travelled through the Grillby's mind. Sans always said he had to save Papyrus, that Papyrus would be dead if he hadn't left. Papyrus was a failure in Gaster's eyes, perhaps that's why the folder was marked as such and knowing that, Sans reacted. “I-There is information here and I don't know what to do with it. I wanted to inform you of our findings but I was not sure if you would want to see them yourself. It would be beneficial to us if you did, since both Tur and I both have no idea what to do with this. I'd like to make sense of Sans' story and try to understand what had happened however that is proving to be difficult being so out of the loop.”

“I...” Grillby hung his head, a hand running over his waving flamed head. “I can't come right now. I'm not sure when I can come either. I can't leave Snowdin for too long right now and I'm not taking either of them with me.”

“Would you like me to come to you?” Grillby thought over the offer but decided against it.

“No, I don't want those files here.” Heaven forbid Sans spots them even if Grillby drops them off at Bonnie's. “Asgore, I can't deal with this situation right now. I'm sorry to have to leave you wondering and all, but I don't have the time right now with everything that is going on. Sans and Papyrus are both sick and I don't want anyone looking after Sans at this current moment in time. I want to come down and see all this myself but I just-”

“Grillby, old friend, please.” Asgore said cutting the flame off. “I'm well aware you are needed there right now. I do not and could not expect you to come down with your children in need of you. All this will remain here when you are ready. Perhaps Tur will have make some sense of it all by then. I'll let you return to your children now. Do tell them I wish them well.”

“I will.” Grillby replied knowing he wouldn't. “Goodbye Asgore.” The element hung up the phone and sighed, resting against the couch.

The thought of actually being able to see the place Sans feared from so much had Grillby on edge. His mind has always went overboard with imaging the place, everything covered in filth, rusty hinges and machines glowing as flickering light reflected off of them. His sons strapped to metal tabled by worn leather straps as some deranged psycho hacked away. Perhaps he had watched too many horror films. Fiora did enjoy watched whatever human movies she saw on T.V, including the more disturbing ones.

Maybe the setting wasn't the biggest fear of his. The files definitely had him feeling green. Grillby didn't know if he had the strength to look at the photos Asgore spoke of. Imagining the horrors Sans spoke of was enough to disturb the flame, the visual representation would only forever scar him. The information, no matter how scarce it was would be difficult to read. Grillby's knowledge of the written language of Wingding was mediocre at best. He knew the alphabet but read at a toddler's level. Perhaps if he practiced a bit more he'd be have the ability to skim through the files quickly. But if chunks were missing how helpful could they be? Those missing words and distorted audio recorders had to be Gaster's handiwork.

Sans had said Gaster was gone. That he vanished and no one recalled him. Was his disappearance the cause of the vanishing information? When he was erased, did it take everything that could be related to him as well? Were the voice recorders him? The missing words his thoughts?

A plush bunny was launched at the wall beside Grillby. The flame let out an audible noise of bewilderment before staring up at the stairs. Sans sat, propped up against the wall, hand reaching into a container of toys. He weakly chucked one, the stuffed animal landing on the steps in a thud. A trail of toys were scattered around telling the flame Sans had been trying to get his attention for quite a while. Finally having it, Sans pointed to his mouth, opening and closing it.

“Hungry?” His child nodded. “Is your brother up?” Sans threw a toy at Grillby's door.

“What?” Papyrus whined and his brother looked back at his father.

“Get back in bed. I'll bring you up some soup.” The skeleton just plopped down on the ground, still far too exhausted to care about anything. Grillby went to the kitchen and heated up some soup he made earlier. He went up the steps, scooping up his child before setting him down on the bed. He set the tray of soup down, demanding them both eat over it in case they spill. Papyrus drank his slowly, not wanting to upset his stomach any more than it already was. Sans chose to ignore all table manners and his spoon by just picking the bowl up and swallowing down large mouthfuls of soup, pausing only to chew the noodle and vegetable bits. After finishing, Sans watched his brother who had barely managed to get through half the small bowl before stopping. He nudged him with his elbow, nodding to the bowl.

“Hurts.” The younger one mumbled, clutching his middle and Sans frowned elbowing him again, causing his sibling to let out a whine.

“Eat.” Sans choked out, pointing to the crackers.

“Not hungry, you eat it.” Sans was not pleased with the answer, bothered by his brother's inability to finish his meal.

“Sans, come one, don't force him.” Grillby told his child, removing the tray. “Both of you, here.” Each child was handed a glass of water and another round of medication. “You both okay?”

“Head hurts.” Papyrus muttered and Sans closed his socket's, demonstrating his sleepiness. “It's hot.” The younger skeleton complained, pushing the covers away.

“You have a fever, that's why. Let me check your temperatures again.” Grillby took Sans' first, pleased to see it had gone down a little. Though, Papyrus' has raised which was less pleasing news. The flame tucked both of them in tightly despite their complaints.

“Too hot!” Papyrus whined trying to free himself.

“Sweat it out, kid. If you aren't better by tomorrow we're going to the hospital. For now, get some sleep.” Sans had no problem with that command, burrowing under the covers and falling asleep instantly. Papyrus less so, icepacks resting on his forehead and injury.

“I'm not tired.” He announced and Grillby sat next to him.

“You wanna talk?” The flame offered

“About what?”

 “Anything.” The flame shrugged. “If you could invent a new flavour of nice cream what flavour would you invent?” Papyrus remained silent for a while before his sockets slowly began to narrow.

“Spaghetti.” Grillby let out a laugh and Papyrus smiled, giggling to himself. While Sans continued to sleep, Papyrus and Grillby chatted away. Grillby wasn't sure if it was because of his fever or not, but the longer the conversation went on the more vocal his child became. His short little answers turned into rants that the guardian had a hard time controlling himself during. Their flavour topic morphed into one about kitchens, to Hotland, to fur, before managing to make its way to basements.

“Not a fan.” Grillby stated and Papyrus pouted. “Usually, get all dark, damp, wet, kinda smell like mold.”

“This girl who sat next to me in class last year who smelt like mold.” Papyrus grunted, resting an icepack on his face. “And she always leaned in like-” he lifted his hand to reach out and touch the flame's face. “And like, she was fine but...”

“Why didn't you just asked to be moved?” Grillby questioned and Papyrus sighed, the pack sliding off his face.

“Because no one in class liked her. Everyone bullied her. The teacher asked me if I'd sit next to her because she knew I was nice.” The element frowned and the skeleton stared down at the sheets. “I just don't get why they do that. I mean, she doesn't smell bad really, just different. And she's kinda invasive but that's not an excuse to be mean.”

“Why don't you be her friend?” Papyrus was silent, face sinking. The element didn't expect an answer but the skeleton finally spoke.

“She said she doesn't want to because she's not bullied anymore.” He announced, his gaze was glued to his lap, head hung low so Grillby could not see his expression. “Instead, they all pick on me.”

“They do what?” The flame hissed. “Papyrus are you being bullied? Why didn't you say anything?” Grillby was heartbroken to hear his child had become a target.

“I didn't want Sans to know. He'd blame himself.” Papyrus mumbled.

“Why would he do that?” The child's hand rubbed at his face, huffing oddly like he was trying to hold back his tears.

“Because no one wants to be my friend because they think I'm crazy like him.” The flame opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. “I tried telling them they're wrong but the kid he beat up is in my class and he doesn't like me very much.” Papyrus sniffed, thumb stroking the ice pack. “It's not bad or anything. It's just, bothersome. They don't know him at all. He only lashed out at them because they were bullying me but no one believes me.”

“Why didn't you tell your teacher?”

“I didn't want her telling you because I didn't want you worrying about me.” Grillby exhaled, deflating.

“Pap,” The flame started but stopped when Papyrus reached up to wipe away tears that had begun to form. “Hey, Papyrus don't cry.” The element begged, reaching up to cup his child's face, brushing away the tears. “Pap, it's my job to worry about you two. I'm your parent. I'm supposed to be there for you and to help you when you need help, no matter the situation. I don't care if it’s a stubbed toe or you set the house on fire, I want you to be able to come to me and tell me these things. You know you can't handle them by yourself. We've talked about this so much in therapy, kiddo. You get frustrated when Sans keeps things from us, so why do you do the same thing.”

“C-Cause I feel bad. I don't want to bother you.” The skeleton confessed.

“And what did I tell Sans when he said that?” Papyrus sniffed and Grillby raised his child's head to face him. “You can never bother me.” The flame stressed, thumb tapping against the skeleton's prominent cheek bones. “I'm here for you, doofus. Don't you think I'd care if you were being bullied?”

“Y-Yes.”

“You're damn right I'd care. You can't keep putting off your feelings for your brother or for my sake. If something is bothering you tell us, tell me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, and I can always help you Papyrus. I want to help. Because this,” the element poked the child's frown, “isn't something I want to see on you. I want you and your brother to smile so much your face hurts.” Grillby gently pinched his son's cheekbone causing him to giggle and pull away. The bartender smiled, picking up the ice pack and pressing it to his child's face. “Don't stress yourself out too much, kiddo. You'll make your fever worse.” Papyrus nodded, reaching up to press the chilled pack against his forehead as he suppressed a yawn. “Get some sleep. We can resolve this when you're better, alright?”

“Okay,” The skeleton yawned once more, nuzzling the pillow. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you.” 

“Love you more.” Papyrus grinned, lightly shaking his head.

“Love you the mostest.”

“That's not even a word.” The flame pointed out.

“Because there's no word to describe how much I love you.” The element laughed, flickers of pink passing through him. The element surrendered and the skeleton snickered but it faded off as sleep began to wash over him.

“Love you times a million.” Grillby whispered when he figured his child had fallen asleep. Papyrus opened a tired socket and watched his guardian, a cocky smirk forming on his skull as he added one last comment.

“Million plus one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit fluffy and fillery but hey, sometimes you need those.
> 
> I'd like to let you guys know I plan on taking a small break to do some personal things. I shall be returning with regular updates on the 30th. I'm hoping to wrap this story up by the end of May. During my time off completely plan out the rest of the fic so I'm not stuck with plot A and C but B decided to take a vacation to the back of the brain and not return until 2am. 
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments. You are as lovely and supportive as always. I shall see you again in a week or so. 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question


	36. Avoidance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for catching my many errors Hannah
> 
> Yo, thank you so much for [ this](http://starshoop.tumblr.com/post/143199154978/kind-of-an-experimental-doodle-what-i-like-fics) [ rad](http://starshoop.tumblr.com/post/142982384263/ive-been-reading-this-awesome-fic-on-ao3-my) art!!!

Sans was milking his illness for all it was worth. In his defence, his voice was ruined for a couple days after the episode. Speaking hurt and although he tried to spare his shredded voice any further damage his coughing did not. However now, his voice was practically better but he still pretended it wasn't. 

Bonnie watched over Sans when Papyrus was well enough to return to school. Grillby had gone in with him and often returned ten or so minutes later than usual. Sans had overheard him talking about Papyrus' teacher but as for it was about he had no clue. It was hard to hear through his closed door and opening said the door was a big no.

The older skeleton had taken refuge in his bedroom, mainly on the top bunk. He came down only when asked or when Papyrus was home. He did this because he-….Well, he really didn't know, or rather he did know and was too embarrassed to say. The cause of his embarrassing actions was unknown, but admitting to the acts was what Sans hated the most.

Sans was finally off his hellish medication but had yet to see Kawa or Foli. It had only been a day since he was free of the drug's influences, however, something else took its place. It wasn't the voices that appeared at random times and it wasn't any hallucination or nightmare he feared, it was just a feeling. A particular feeling that was only this prevalent and noticeable in the Labs. So many emotions all mixed together to create the perfect anxiety formula that Sans had tried so desperately to rid himself of. The fear of every little thing, the uncertainly of tomorrow, the shame of his thoughts and actions, the disgust of who he was and what he had done, and that eternal agony of the unwavering dread that no matter what he did He was always watching. The cocktail of misery and self-loathing was Sans' influence for every action he did and had done. It caused him to react in ways he had forced himself to abandon. The old mannerisms those years in the Labs etched into him were slowly rising back up and the skeleton didn't know what to do.

Sans had started to act involuntarily in odd ways that he felt embarrassed about. Ever since his illness faded enough for him to become aware, that uncertainty and anxious feeling was set in place and had yet to vanish even for a moment. Sans noticed it first when he was in his room with his brother working on a puzzle. He had felt slightly off but blamed it on the medication, his actions were not appearing too out of the ordinary from his usual side effects. It was only when Grillby had knocked on the door and opened it that Sans realized what was wrong. Upon hearing the first knock Sans rose to his feet and waited, for what he waited for was unknown at first. His legs and arms moved on their own, pushed him up, form stiff. Papyrus remained on the floor, shooting his brother a questioning look while Grillby mimicked the expression. It took a moment for Sans to realize his actions before he snapped out of it and shrunk in on himself, cheeks flushed in shame. Neither seemed to understand what had happened and they both had asked him about it but he refused to answer and spent the rest of his day burrowed under his blanket.

This had only been the start of these little quirks, or at least that's what everyone else called them. Sans, though, he knew they weren't quirks, they were habits, old, old habits. He stood when Grillby or Bonnie entered a room out of habit, expecting Gaster to appear and demand Sans and Papyrus be alert and ready to follow. He stared at his food while his family began eating, waiting to be told he could as well. When walking he no long clung to his guardian's hand but remained three steps back with his head bowed. He acted so unknowingly without a single thought that what he was doing was wrong or unnecessary until it was too late. It was only when the haze faded and he realized his actions that he felt disgusted. The disgust grew into borderline self-loathing which his insanity loved to pick at. Sans had become quite good at ignoring them and their hateful words but of course, he sometimes slipped. Unfortunately, his family had caught him during those moments often enough to cause more concern. These were not the only times his family would see these incidents either. They had actually caught him doing it so often, causing his embarrassment and habits to arise, that Sans had decided it was best to hide away so he could spare his family the concern.

His brother had since woken up multiple times to Sans standing in their room doing nothing. He even caught him whispering in that forgotten language, sockets empty and expression blank. Each time he would gentle touch Sans' arm, bony features contorted into a look of deep empathy and worry. Sans tried to laugh it off but it sounded far too forced to be believable. Fortunately, Papyrus did not question it too much, not usually seeing the more extreme cases. No, those moments only happened when around Grillby and Bonnie.

The older skeleton began avoiding his guardian like the plague. Not for any reason other than his own inability to control his actions well enough around him. Grillby had only brought out a mannerism on accident but it was enough to form a large tear between them. Grillby felt guilty and Sans felt so ashamed it was hard to look at the bartender's face.

Sans had sat at his usual spot in the bar head rested against the table. Grillby told him he could lay down in the back but Sans decided against it for some reason. He instead chose to rest in his spot as the bartender did his job. It was around lunch that a large rush came in but it wasn't something Grillby wasn't used to. The bartender picked up his pace, filling drinks and collecting dishes. He let out a huff when the guard members came in for their lunch testing his skills to the limit. As he filled up their drinks he lightly cursed forgetting about the fries he had stared in the back.

“Sans go take care of the fries!” Grillby quickly told his child, not wanting the potatoes to burn. Sans jolted up, sockets wide and alert, soul racing anxiously as he followed the bartenders order. He raced to the back and lifted the fries from the bubbling oil, struggling to do so with his height. He stood on the tip of his phalanges his bony digits barely curling around the edge of the basket. The child leaned closer, releasing a hushed yelp when he brushed against the hot metal. Sans whimpered, clutching his hand as he looked around for something to stand on. Grillby had told him to take care of the fries and he couldn't because of his stupid height. He tried reaching for it once more but failed. The skeleton's body rattled as his breathing picked up, eyes darting between the door and the deep fryer. The tip of his right hand illuminated with magic as he reached out to take care of the fries but his magic was too unstable. His nerves took over and the glow flicked until it vanished. The basket fell back into the oil and splattered. Sans flinched away, his jacket absorbing the boiling oil that splashed against him. Staring at the fabric Sans balled up the blue cloth in his fist and rested it against the metal. Still warm, but the make-shift oven mitt would do. Sans pushed up on his hand and snatched one of the basket handles. He grinned, immense satisfaction coursing through him as he passed the test.

Test? No, this wasn't...Why did he think that...

Sans' sudden doubt sent an icy chill down his spine causing his arm gave out and Sans lost his support. With a loud cry, he fell to the floor, basket clattering as it bounced off the ground fries littering the floor. It was only as he stared at the ruined fries that Sans' senses returned. He knew he was too short to handle the deep fryer. Grillby was just a little overworked and forgot about that. He knew this but still tried to do it. Sans should have just reminded the bartender and this whole thing could have been avoided. But no, he blindly tried to do a task he wasn't able to and failed all because he couldn't stop himself from obeying. Why had he done this? It just made everything worse. He was being an inconvenience to everyone! So what if he had managed to do it. What would he receive, praise? Was that what he was becoming? So fearful of failing a task, desperate to receive the praise like some dog? Sans wanted to be sick.

At the sound of footsteps, Sans turned to face the doorway where Grillby stood in. The flame seemed confused at first, no doubt wondering what had happened. Sans watched the element connect the dots, unable to control the tears that began to form. Grillby's orange flame darkened to an indigo, flame head fading as he realized what he had asked Sans to do and how Sans obeys it without a word. The expression of utter devastation and guilt was too much and the skeleton turned away.

“Sans, I'm sorry. Are you okay? I shouldn't have asked you to-” The element stepped forward and Sans recoiled. His teeth were grinding against each other, suppressing the sob he wanted to release. Stop flinching! Stop crying! Stop acting like this!

Unable to trust his voice, Sans quickly rose and rushed out of the room, pushing past Grillby to lock himself away in the former bedroom. That's all he ever did to spare himself the embarrassment. Lock himself away so he didn't have to explain, so he didn't have to make everything worse. He could hear their questions. Why did he do that? He was scared. Why was he scared? He didn't know! It was humiliating enough to have these old mannerisms back. He didn't want everyone's guilt to bring him more shame. Sans believed they all were letting him off the hook because of his 'voice', but that could only last so long. His family wasn't easily fooled. Grillby and Papyrus knew too much about what had happened and were probably already aware of the situation they just didn't know how to handle it.

Sans wasn't sure if he'd even tell anyone even if his household was onto it. Admitting these habits to himself made him want to vomit. Knowing his family were going to look at him with such pitiful expressions would make everything so much worse.

_**“Quit moping you pathetic baby.”** _

**"Pl̡ease,̛ yòưll** **͟** **ma** **͞** **ke ḩi** **͡** **m** **͢** **cr̨y ag̕ai̛n."**

Sans nervously glanced over to the kitchen. He could see Bonnie's back and Grillby's ever present luminosity but neither were facing him, both working on preparing lunch. His small pupils trailed down to Papyrus who was scribbling away on some colouring book. Sans just felt too overwhelmed. The adults looming in the shadows whispering, his brother just lying there quietly, the only sound being his voices mocking him, it was too much.

“I-I'm going to take a nap.” Sans quietly told his brother. Papyrus looked up, seeming surprised but nodded.

“Want me to let Dad know?” The younger sibling questioned and his brother nodded.

“Yeah.” Papyrus had become Sans' voice. He had become his translator and spokesperson when dealing with Grillby or Bonnie or when he just didn't want to speak.

“Want me to wake you when lunch is ready?” Sans clicked his teeth together, stealing a glance at the kitchen.

_**“Got to wait to be told what to do, dog.”** _

**"Ba̶r̨k̵!** **͡** **"**

 “...No, I'll eat later.” Papyrus just smiled, nuzzling his skull against his brother's for a second before Sans retreated to his room. Papyrus watched him, even staring at the closed door for a few minutes after it had closed. When Sans made no noise or indication of his need, Papyrus let out a soft sigh, deflating against the floor.

“Did he go up?” Bonnie questioned and Papyrus nodded. “Is he going to eat?”

“I don't think so,” Papyrus admitted.

“He didn't eat breakfast either.” The bunny noted with a frown.

Sans was acting strange. Papyrus believed strange wasn't the correct word when Bonnie brought it up to Grillby. The flame agreed with his son saying Sans was definitely acting more reserved if anything, perhaps even uncertain. Papyrus disagreed with him too and told them both Sans was not acting strange, reserved, or uncertain but was just acting like himself. Of course neither adult agreed, because the skeleton was far from acting like his normal self. Papyrus then corrected them by saying that they did not understand him. He never said Sans was acting like his normal self, but that Sans was just acting like himself. Because Papyrus had seen Sans in so many different forms, to judge his brother based on what he was now was wrong. He had watched his brother transform, regress, outgrow, and abandon different form of himself so many times. His odd behaviours and quirks that appeared had been there before, but just never seen.

“So, Sans seems fine to you?”

“You didn't ask me if Sans was fine.” Papyrus corrected, picking up a yellow marker. “You said he was acting strange, and he's not.”

“How is it not strange to you?” Bonnie asked.

“Because I have been him like this before.” The skeleton confessed, colouring in a yellow rain jacket. “He is acting uncharacteristicly to you because you have not seen him like this before. But if I were to tell you this was the first form I saw him in, would it seem odd? If anything, how he has been acting is uncharacteristic to the Sans I first have memories of, regardless of the ones I have forgotten.” Papyrus stuck the marker back into the box and looked up at the two adults. “You can't look at my brother and judge him based on how he reacts or acts. I know Sans is the same Sans I've always known because he's the same without the emotions. He's sometimes too overprotective, wary, silly, curious, smart, everything you see him as when he's not clouded by his emotions, including happiness. If there's one thing you've taught me it is that happiness is not a part of you. You cannot be defined as someone who is always happy because then, when you aren't you don't know who you are. And you also cannot say someone is acting strangely because they aren't happy. Right now, if I were to wake Sans up and ask him to read to me, he would. If I ask him to tell me a joke, he'd tell me twenty. If I peeked his interest and made him start questioning things, he'd question them. Sans is still Sans. It is when I ask him for help and he declines me that I worry. When I tell a joke and he does not laugh. When he loses his curiosity and no longer cares about why things work or how. That's when Sans is strange. That is when I worry, because he isn't my brother. I've seen him like that, in a light so unfamiliar I don't even recognize him, and this is not that same light.” Papyrus pulled out a blue marker and popped off the cap, the horrific memories of being trapped inside the cavern flashing by. "It's not even close."

Papyrus wasn't happy with the current situation, but right now he was Sans' voice. Papyrus knew Sans was faking his illness so he could use it as an excuse to not speak and avoid talking as much as possible. That would be so bad if his hadn't changed quite a bit in a way that was unfamiliar to anyone who wasn't Papyrus. It only made Papyrus' job harder having to try to explain his brother's actions even more challenging. Especially when Papyrus got most of his answer when he listened to Sans talk to himself late at night. To explain that to his guardian would only make matter worse.

Sans was jumpy and on edge more often than not now. He'd regress into old habits that no one was familiar with even Papyrus at times. The behaviour itself made Papyrus both uneasy and a little dizzy. It was as if he was familiar with it but the reason was gone. Of course he had an idea, they all did, it's just no one wanted to say it. Because the idea of Sans' returning to old habits was a thought no one wanted to go near or think about. 

It's was something Papyrus thought about quite often because Sans never acted this around him alone. When the two were alone, Sans was without fear and without his new habits. It was only when Grillby and Bonnie entered the picture that these quirks sparked, sunken head, fixed pace, expressions gone, pupils dilated. Papyrus internally called this 'Pre-Sans Mode'. Of course in the past, Papyrus had no idea why his brother acted oddly. Papyrus vaguely recalled him acting like this when he was being led from the Labs. Sans was a wreck. He would flinch at every touch and have such a delayed response to his actions. He'd take a second to eat, or lay down and Papyrus was never allowed to leave his side or sneak up on him. Although Sans never told his brother directly to never speak in a demanding tone, he learnt not to on his own. Early on whenever Papyrus threw a tantrum or fit, demanding something from his brother Sans would tense up and begin to cry and would often have to be left alone for a while. Sans would wake up from naps, staring and trembling or spot someone in the distance and become paralyzed with fear. Weird little hiccups that occurred usually when his brother was not in the right mind and Papyrus was content with leaving it at that. But now, knowing of the forgotten past, the rise of the abandoned habits connected dots the small skeleton had left unresolved. Papyrus, for once, was the only one aware of the situation and the only one who knew what was happening.

He knew the full story. Grillby and Bonnie just had a feeling Sans was developing old habits but Papyrus knew that those habits had never truly left. Papyrus had watched Sans' bottle himself up, becoming a story book big brother. That included his habits vanishing as well, but from Sans' previous episodes, he knew that they never really left. Sans had just become an expert at hiding them. If Grillby raised his voice Sans would listen. If Grillby ordered him Sans would obey. Because deep down Sans had never truly managed to deal with these issues properly, and for that, they never truly went away.

It wasn't all bad, though. Even if it had only been a few days, Sans had been very different each new day. Sometimes days he could react normally and appeared fine minus a few odd twitches. Then other days he wouldn't leave his room. Of course, those days were worse, his insanity often playing tricks on him and causing him to panic. Shadows morphed into figures and Papyrus was frequently summoned to his room by Sans' shouts followed by a loud crash. Everyone had tried to speak to him about it, hoping he'd at least see Foli but Sans would lock the door forbidding entry for a few hours.

“What do you mean you've seen him like this before?” Grillby questioned.

“When we left the Labs he was like this for a while.” The skeleton answered and Bonnie's brow crinkled in lines of worry.

“Grillby do you think he's adapting old habits?”

“Yes,” Papyrus answered for his father. “It's not as bad as before, though.” He added but neither monster looked relieved.

“You seem rather calm about this, Papyrus. Is something wrong?” The flame asked but Papyrus just sighed, setting down his marker and closing the colouring book.

“He's just scared and becomes embarrassed because of that.” The child admitted, frowning down at the book. “You keep making him seem like he's changing or that he is regressing to some old self and he's not. He's just afraid, I'm just unsure of what. He's not telling us something and I don't like it. But he's doing that because he's humiliated by his actions because you guys keep looking at him funny.” They two looked at each other with a guilty expression. “See! You do that. He feels bad enough, you can't keep doing that around him. It makes it worse.”

“Has he told you this?” Grillby wondered and Papyrus shrugged, unable to tell his father he heard Sans' talk to himself about it.

“Not in so many words. His voice is practically healed but he's using it as an excuse for as long as he can. Just stop feeling sorry for him or bad that you did something. He just...” The skeleton trailed off, unsure of what his brother needed. Sans resolved this issue himself by ignoring it but that didn't do a whole lot now. His brother was also not up for talking about it either even if it would help.

“We will try to make him more comfortable,” Bonnie announced, elbowing the flame who nodded. “For now, we'll let him rest. Papyrus, how's school been?” The skeleton grimaced, fingers tracing the line that remained from his cracked skull.

“Fine.”

“Any problems with those bullies?”

“N-...” Papyrus took in a deep breath. He didn't need to lie, he shouldn't. His family just wanted to help. He didn't need to handle this alone. “Not any more than usual.” He admitted and the adults frowned.

“Did you teacher do nothing?” The bunny questioned.

“She can't be everywhere.” Not in the lunchroom, or on the playground, or when her back is turned.

“Maybe you should go to the principle, Grillby. He really is against this type of behavior.” Papyrus tensed, grabbing at his shirt.

“D-Don't.” He mumbled, squirming under the larger monster's gaze.

“Why not? Papyrus he can help.” Bonnie insisted.

“No he can't, it only makes it worse.” The skeleton blurted, nervously yanking on the fabric.

“What do you mean? Has it gotten worse?” The flame pressed and Papyrus whimpered quietly, not enjoying the topic.

“Not a lot, it's just-” Papyrus was cut off by a loud thump from upstairs followed by a small yelp. Spotting the escape route, he scrambled to his feet and up the stairs. Grillby and Bonnie were close behind but avoided entering the room, knowing Sans’ reaction when they entered. Papyrus didn't bother knocking, instead choosing to open the door enough for him to squeeze through. Sans was on the top bunk, eye blazing and panting heavily. Upon seeing the door open, he flinched away but relaxed when spotting Papyrus. Sans' gaze returned to the corner where the open door cast light upon a knocked over a chest of toys. Papyrus stared as well, hand reaching out to flick on the lights.

“Are you okay?” Papyrus questioned, leg sliding back to shut the door. Both skeleton's seemed at ease in the privacy of their room. Avoiding responsibility and honestly, only focusing on the truth and comfort the two gave each other. No lies no secrecy, a motto they tried to uphold but of course, each brother kept their struggles hidden for as long as possible.

“Y-Yea, s-sorry,” Sans muttered, wary pupils darting to the scattered toys. “Thought I-...Though I saw something.” His magic dispersed, body slouching against the wall.

“Was it Gaster?” The younger brother asked boldly. His brother's skull faced away, nodding.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, curling in on himself. Papyrus watched the door for a moment before stepping away, choosing to instead climb up the ladder to the top bunk. He crawled across the mattress, snuggling up next to his sibling who leaned on him as well, the two holding onto each other's hand.

“Sans?” Papyrus called, earning his brother's attention. “I get why you hide in here.” The child continued, snaking his free arm around his sibling. “Don't have to talk or lie or be honest. It's like everything outside is gone.”

“What are you hiding from?” Sans asked but Papyrus only shrugged. The older sibling would be naive to think his brother would open up so easily. He knew the feeling too well to believe that just asking would grant him answers. Instead, the skeleton rested his skull against' his sibling's, eyes dancing around the room.

“Kinda like the Labs.” Sans voiced, Papyrus moving under him to face him. “We'd hang onto one another like this hoping the door never opened even though we both knew it would whether we wanted it to or not.”

“But for different reasons.” Sans pulled away to looked at his sibling who watched him. “Grillby would open the door because he cares and is worried about us. That's not what Gaster would have opened the door for.” Papyrus lifted their entwined hands, magic glowing softly, sparking Sans's own energy to flicker to life. “And I do this because it's comforting and soothing, not because I am afraid. Are you afraid?” Papyrus held a steady gaze, watching his brother's pupils shrink and grow as he thought about his answer. Sans' shoulders sunk, pupils large but fading as his grip tightened on his brother.

“I don't mean to be,” Papyrus smiled at his brother empathetically, untangling their hands so he could hold his arm open allowing Sans to fall into them.

“I know,” Papyrus told his sibling who latched onto him. “Why do you feel scared?”

“I don't know.”

“Do you think Foli would know?”

“Would she?” The older boy wondered.

“Maybe, she's helped you before right?” Sans was silent, recalling the memories of his therapist aiding him through troubled times. She provided him with information Grillby couldn't helped him when no one else knew how to. But would his habits act up around her as well? Would he feel as embarrassed about them around her?

“Do you think she could help?” Papyrus nodded, pressing a skeletal kiss to his brother's skull.

“I think so.” Sans pulled away from his brother, face firm, brow bone sunken in a look of concern.

“What about you?” Papyrus' mood shifted an appeared more strained.

“I-...I don't need her to fix my problems.” The skeleton admitted, fascinated with the crumpled sheets below. “I just need to work it out myself.”

“What do you mean?” Papyrus didn't answer, instead, he asked his own question.

“How do you change someone who won't listen to reason?” Sans clicked his teeth together, unsure where his brother was going with his question.

“You show them.” He replied earning his brother's attention.

“What if that doesn't work?”

“Papyrus what are you talking about?” Sans demanded, tired of his brother's vagueness. “Is someone bothering you?”

“Ngh, kinda...” The younger sibling admitted, finding it difficult to lie so blatantly to his brother. Sans was smart, he knew what to do for these situations. Sans resorted to violence more often than not, but he was more likely to give Papyrus a hint as to what to do that didn't result in him confronting anyone from school.

“Who.” The taller skeleton ordered an answer.

“It doesn't matter.” Sans grabbed Papyrus' hands, squeezing them as his bright and alert specks of light in his sockets bored into his brother's.

“Who?” He repeated in a less menacing tone. “Is it someone at school?”

“They won't listen to me,” Papyrus stated, refusing to answer his brother. “I tried to tell them and show them they were wrong but they don't listen.”

“Then words won't work. I'll make them stop.” Sans threatened but Papyrus huffed, yanking his hands away.

“No! Don't fight them! I don't want that.” Sans' socket's narrowed and Papyrus mimicked the expression. They held the stare, neither one wanting to pull away but the elder skeleton gave in.

“Does Grillby know?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“He tried to help but it didn't do much.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Why hadn't anyone told him? Why had no one thought it would concern him his brother was becoming a target?

“Because I didn't want you overreacting,” Papyrus mumbled.

“If someone is picking on you I want to help.” The younger child huffed, yanking his limbs free form his sibling's hold.

“You don't help me, though. You go out and fight them and that makes it worse. You both do. I don't want you to fix my problems for me. I just want them to go away.” Sans was quiet, thoughts racing as he tried to figure out a way to help his brother that wasn't violent. His solution was often force. He had learnt that there was no other way but action to win a situation like this. Gaster had never listened to words and could never be persuaded. Violence was required, pain and fear were easily understood by all. Dominance, power and strength were forces everyone respected and listened to. That wasn't Papyrus, though. Sans couldn't defeat his brother's enemies by attacking them or striking fear in their hearts. He couldn't hurt anyone, but that doesn't mean he couldn't defend his brother.

“Let me walk you to school tomorrow.” Papyrus fidgeted, unsure if the idea was good or not.

“Wouldn't you rather stay home?” He asked, wary of his family joining him at school. The children had already picked on him when they saw Grillby, he couldn't imagine their taunts with Sans.

“I'd rather be with my brother. Come on, let me walk you to school.” The younger skeleton teeth were pressed in a firm line, searching for a reason to doubt his brother.

“Only if you go to Foli.” Now it was Sans' turn to squirm, but for the sake of his brother he agreed.

“Fine, but I'm walking you home too.” Sans settled and Papyrus nodded. Neither were truly happy with the arrangement, however, both were ready to sacrifice their own happiness if it meant the other would be better off.

“Do you want some lunch?” The smaller skeleton asked changing the topic.

“Okay,” Papyrus smiled, grabbing his brother's hand and the two climbed down from the bunk and walked over to the door. Papyrus took the lead, swinging open the door. Grillby and Bonnie jumped back, acting as if they weren't attempting to eavesdrop. They both looked surprised when Sans emerged as well, standing behind his brother.

“Lunch ready?” The younger child asked brightly, snapping the adults out of their stupor. Grillby lightly smacked Bonnie, turning away from his children.

“Yeah, Bon. Your salad done yet?” The bunny scoffed.

“If you cut the vegetables faster it would be.” Papyrus giggled, flashing his brother a grin and Sans tried his best to return it but it felt rather forced.

“Grillby, can I talk to you?” The younger skeleton asked as he squeezed his older brother's hand reassuringly.

“Yeah, of course.” The flame shooed his friend away, waiting until she was in the kitchen to return his attention to his children. “Everything okay?”

“Sans is going to walk with us to school this week.” Us? Sans' sockets widened, yanking on his brother's hand but was ignored. “He also wants to go see Foli.” Grillby faced Sans and the skeleton wanted to run back into the room to hide.

“Do you want me to schedule an appointment with Kawa as well?” Sans swallowed and nodded.

“O-Okay,” he stuttered, avoiding his guardian's gaze.

**"** **͞** **Wh** **҉** **o'́s** **͝** **a** **͠** **good** **͞** **li̸t̀tl** **͏** **e mu** **͝** **tt,̧ San̛sy** **͏** **?"**

_**“Maybe Gaster can get him to bark for us or do a few tricks like beg.”** _

“Sans?” The flame called and Sans took in a sharp inhale, slowly raising his head to face the element. “Do you want me to cut up a hot dog for your salad?” The anxious son blinked, taken aback by the innocent question. His voices were silent, no longer lingering in the depths of his mind. This was Grillby, his dad, he didn't need to be this nervous. He didn't need to hold himself back, he shouldn't. He shouldn't feel compelled to please and keep his mouth shut. After all, they wanted his answer, they wanted his honestly. They weren't Gaster.

“Yeah,” Sans answered, appearing more confident now than he had been in days in front of his guardian. Grillby flickered happily, not pushing his luck and deciding to just head to the kitchen.

The rest of the day was one of the better ones the small family had experienced in a while. Sans was still very jumpy and nervous but he hadn't had any major uncomfortable habits arise which was a relief to everyone. Grillby called up the hospital and scheduled an appointment for Sans with both of his doctors. They were more than pleased to hear of Sans' arrival, both of them having yet to see him since the skeleton was off his medication.

Grillby really hoped things would start turning around from here on out. One issue after another arose and at times if feels like for every step they take, they are pushed back seven. With Papyrus' bullying issue, Sans' anxiety, and the secrecy of both of them the flame was feeling uneasy. Bonnie suggested Grillby talk to the principle but the flame was reluctant. If his talk with Papyrus' teacher had backfired somehow he did not want to make matters worse, yet if the issue still remained it would be wrong of him to ignore it. Perhaps his children had discussed it while in their room, leading Sans to want to walk Papyrus to school. The element didn't know exactly how it would help, but he still wasn't aware of what they discussed. Still, the two could help one another better than anyone else most of the time. Grillby could only remain as he was, supportive and accepting often times intervening only when necessary.

The following morning, Sans seemed far too focused on his own thoughts to pay much attention to the business around him. He was walking with his brother who was holding onto both his family members' hands. The older skeleton's gaze remained ahead, for once walking along side Grillby instead of behind him. When the school came into view, Sans' grip tightened on his sibling, pupils darting around for anyone who may be looking at his sibling badly. Sans took a step toward the playground, his brother's usual go to location before school started, but Papyrus remained still. Turning around, Papyrus flashed his brother a nervous smile and the older skeleton frowned.

“I usually wait inside now,” Papyrus admitted and Sans' sockets narrowed, glancing between the door, his brother, and the playground. His attention was caught by some whispering children who were watching him from afar. Once spotted they turned away but Sans already tensed up, uncomfortable with their actions. Papyrus noticed this and leaned over hugging both his family members before pulling away. “See you after school.” He said cheerfully before making his way into the building. Sans watched as the door closed, uneasiness setting in his bones.

“Sans?” The skeleton faced his guardian who was eyeing him. “You ready to go?” With one last glance at the door, Sans nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked a step behind the flame.

Sans spent his day in the backroom, anxiously watching the time tick by until he could go pick up his brother. The skeleton felt off by his brother's actions and the children who stared at him so intently. He wasn't sure if it was his nerves overreacting or his actual thoughts but Sans didn't want Papyrus near that place. Especially knowing someone there was bullying him, the school wasn't a safe location. He wished he knew what to do or how to help in a nonviolent manner. His thoughts and voices all told him to act as he normally would, removing the threat and saving his brother but it wasn't realistic.

When it was almost time for school to be let out Sans was standing by the bar door, soul racing as his foot tapped eagerly against the ground. His habits had regressed momentarily, thoughts only on his brother as he waited for the bartender to tidy up before flipping the open sign to closed. Sans swiftly walked down the street, multiple steps ahead of Grillby who had to pick up his own pace to catch up to his child. The two waited off to the side while the bell rang, a flood of children darting out of the school. The skeleton perked up, expecting his brother to rush out first like always but as the minutes ticked by and the influx of children dispersed Papyrus had yet to be seen. When the families left, leaving the flame and skeleton standing alone they began to fidget. Sans was about to enter the school himself when the door open and Papyrus poked his head out. He glanced around before spotting his family member and exited the school. Trotting over, he stopped before them with a forced smile and tired eyes.

“Sorry, I had to redo some work I lost.” He lied knowing neither of them believed him.

“You don't lose things.” Sans corrected and Papyrus averted his gaze.

“I did today.”

“And last week,” Grillby stated and the skeleton shrunk, grip tightening on his backpack. “Did you get in trouble for it?” The younger child shook his head. The flame sighed, crouching down to level himself with his kid. “What's going on, kiddo? How are you losing your work?”

“I'm not,” Papyrus mumbled, tugging at his sleeves.

“Then what happened to it? Did someone take it?” The skeleton mumbled incoherently under his breath, toes curling in his boots. “Pap I can't hear you if you-”

“Someone ripped it.” He stated, refusing to look at anything other than the snow below him. “Someone keeps destroying my homework and I can't turn it in because it's ripped or burnt or soggy and I have to redo it after school.” Sans and Grillby were upset at the news.

“Does your teacher know about this? How long has this been going on?” Papyrus shrugged and Sans stepped forward to pull his brother into a tight hug. “Papyrus I know you don't want me to but I can't let this go on. I'm going to talk to your principle tomorrow.” Papyrus straightened up, head raised to stare at the flame with begging eyes.

“Don't! It's fine! It won't happen again!”

“You can't promise that, Papyrus. I can't continue to let this go on, it’s bad. You shouldn't be treated like this.” The child seemed desperate, reaching around his brother to grab onto Grillby's pant leg.

“No, it won't! I promise, Grillby-Dad, don't! Miss Lumie wants me to turn in my work before school so it won't happen. It's fine!” He reassured.

“Pap,” Grillby rubbed at his face, exhaling loudly. “Do you not want this to go away?”

“I do but...”

“Then why won't you let me help you?”

“Because you don't.” Papyrus stressed, grip slipping and the flame deflated. “You told the teacher and it got worse. They all call me a tattle-tale and a baby. No one wants to be around me because they all think I'm going to cry about to you or get Sans to come in and beat everyone up.” The two looked guilty and watched the skeleton try to control himself.

“Papyrus, we can-”

“It's fine, just don't make it worse.” The younger brother mumbled, retreating to Sans' embrace.

“We'll talk about this later,” Grillby told his child. “For now, we need to go to the hospital, alright?” Papyrus just nodded and Sans felt a tiny amount of nausea form, forgetting about the hospital. His nerves returned at full force and he held his brother's hand as he walked behind his guardian. Sensing the mood change Grillby made no attempt to try to comfort Sans out of his funk and just slowed his pace, and holding the elevator open for him when he was too slow.

They had an appointment with Kawa first and Foli right after. Each minute that passed added another pound of pressure and anxiety. By the time Kawa did arrive Sans wasn't sure if he could stand. Kawa smiled and greeted them as usual, seeming a bit perturbed by Sans' lack of excitement. With Papyrus' support, Sans made it to his room, choosing the farthest chair possible to sit in, even debating standing in the corner.

“So you've been off the medication for three days now,” Kawa began, his usual comforting gaze making Sans anxious. “Have you noticed any lingering side effect?”

“No.” The skeleton mumbled.

“Good, that's great news. Well, I do have another brand I'd like you to try, a much milder one, but I don't think we should start it right now.” Sans felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He had always been sceptical of medication and its side effects, but after the last trip, he wasn't confident in the drug anymore. “Grillby told me you had been feeling a bit off, is this true?” Sans didn't respond, instead choosing to fidget in his chair, a soft inaudible whisper appearing behind him but he ignored it. “Is this because of the medication or something else?”

_**“Because you're insane.”** _

Sans attempted a shrug, rubbing at his arm.

“Is something troubling you then? You said you hadn't experienced any side effects but are your other symptoms still prevalent? Voices or occasional distortion?” The doctor pressed earning a slight nod from the child.

**"W̨ȩ'll̀ ̶nev̕er l** **͠** **eav** **͞** **e ̷yo** **͢** **ù,** **͝** **San** **҉** **sy̧.̧"**

“Yeah.” The child answered quietly and Kawa decided to ease up on his interrogation.

“Has he spoken to either of you two about the issue?” Grillby shook his head and Papyrus felt Sans' grip tighten, his brother' faded pupils burning holes in the side of his head.

“No, not really,” Grillby answered glancing over to his children.

“Papyrus?” Kawa asked and the skeleton stole a glance at his brother who watched him with pleading eyes.

_**“Better keep his mouth shut.”** _

“No.” The doctor smile fell only momentarily.

_**“Good.”** _

“It's okay to be honest you two. We can't help unless we know what the problem is.” He informed them and the skeletons' hold on one another was almost painful.

“ **Don't,** ” Sans whispered and Papyrus seemed hesitant. “ **Please.** ” The shorted skeleton inhaled, facing the doctor.

“He hasn't told me anything.” Kawa did his best to mask his disappointment but nodded. “ **Talk to Foli,** ” Papyrus mumbled to his brother when the doctor faced away from them.

“ **Talk to Grillby.** ” Sans shot back and his brother huffed.

“ **You promised.** ”

“ **I promised I'd go, not talk.** ”

**"** **͢** **Suc̢h a** **҉** **go̶od** **͠** **b** **͝** **o** **͝** **y, ̛San** **͡** **şy. ̴Keep t̕hàt mouth** **͟** **shut.** **͝** **"** **͡**

“Sans,” Papyrus snapped catching the other's attention.

“What are you two saying?” Grillby questioned and Papyrus turned to his guardian but his brother snatched his arm, pupils small and trembling.

“That's not fair,” Sans muttered, displeased by his brother's actions. It was so impossible to please his mind and brother. “ **If it's so easy why don't you talk to Grillby about your issue?** ”

“ **It's different.** ” Papyrus defended and Sans scoffed. 

“ **How?! You don't want to talk about it and I don't to! You're being hypocritical! If it's so easy to talk why don't you?** ”

“Hey!” Grillby called silencing his children. Kawa watched in fascination, never hearing of such a language before. Papyrus' jaw was in a firm line, thoughts racing to come up with a response to counter his brother's comment but could not. So instead, he swallowed down his nerves and straightened his spine out.

“I will if you do.” Sans had not expected the response but felt challenged by his brother's sudden strength.

“You'll tell him?”

“If you tell her.”

“Today?”

“Today.” Papyrus agreed, sticking out his hand. “Promise?” Sans stared at his hand soul pounded in his ribcage. Save himself or his brother? Face his fears or allow Papyrus to continue being bullied? Go against his fears and voice or be a good brother?

“Promise.” Be a good brother.

“Are we situated?” Kawa asked once the boys seemed done.

“Yes,” Papyrus answered.

“Well, I think our time is almost up as well. For now, I'd like Sans to continue seeing Foli until he feels ready to start back up on a new medication. I'll be checking in with her to make sure everything is in order and on track. Does that sound good?” The doctor beamed and Grillby nodded.

“Yes, thank you.” The flame stated, slightly distracted by his children who were both shooting looks at one another. “We'll see you soon, I guess.” With one last smile, the family left right as Foli exited her room.

“Oh, hey! You're here, great.” She announced grabbing their attention. She motioned for them to enter her room and they did, sitting in there usual spots. Sans felt paler, wanting nothing more than to book it and run as far away as he could. Yet he remained seated, his promise weighing him down.

“Promised.” Papyrus reminded him and Sans grunted.

“I know.”

“So, a lot has happened since our last visit huh?” Sans gave her an unamused expression. “Heh-uh, so, why don't we just start with uh, what has been new? Anything interesting happen?”

“No,” Sans mumbled.

“Sans,” Papyrus stressed and Sans glared, emotions on edge.

“Yeah, lot's of stuff with Papyrus.” Papyrus gawked at his brother's statement.

“Hey! You promised!”

“I don't feel good. Can I go?” He felt claustrophobic, like the walls, were sinking in on him. The air was too dense, room too hot, it was difficult to breathe. Why was he so clammy? Had his jacket always felt this heavy? Was his collar always this tight?

“Sans please, calm down,” Foli told him calmly, concerned by his sudden panic. Sans took in a deep breath, doing very little for his unstable mood. “Let's take this slow, you don't need to jump into the issue. We can just talk, like before, right?” Sans didn't want to talk. He didn't want to be here with his family watching him panic and embarrass himself.

_**“Please, you're an embarrassment just living.”** _

“Sans had just been a little nervous lately around everyone,” Grillby informed Foli who nodded as if she understood, interested more in her patient who suddenly appeared rather somber.

“Is there a reason for that Sans? Do you want to talk about it right now?” No, stars no he didn't. Sans wanted to do anything else but talk about it. He'd rather spend the entire session talking about Gaster and all the horrific things he did than admit to his family what he was feeling. But he had to. His promise, his brother's troubles, if he didn't speak then neither would Papyrus. But was that so bad? Forcing things weren't good, right? If Papyrus wasn't ready to talk about who was he to force him? Who was Papyrus to pressure Sans into speaking?

**"You're** **͝** **ri̛ǵht̴ Sa̢n̡s̨y** **͝** **, y̡o** **͡** **u** **͢** **'r̶e̢ ̵r** **͞** **i̡g̢h** **͟** **t. Iţ's̀ ̧no** **͢** **t fai̡ŕ ̸f̨oŕ yo** **͢** **u ̶to̧ ́p̵r̡e̢s** **͝** **suré h̶i** **҉** **m̨ an̵d̕ ̶it'** **҉** **s m** **͏** **o** **͝** **r** **͝** **e unfa̧ir** **͜** **҉** **for** **͏** **him̴ to** **͢** **d̵o** **͜** **th** **͢** **e** **͘** **s̕a** **҉** **me̕.̸ Yo** **͝** **u j̀u̡st̀ go** **͝** **t** **͘** **͞** **t̀o tell** **͝** **a̡ litt** **͘** **le̢ l̶i̸e** **҉** **is̸ al** **҉** **ļ. ̨Y** **͡** **ou've̵ done̕ it be** **͘** **fo** **͞** **re̷, ̨it'̧s̢ s̢o e** **͢** **as̴y̵.̵"**

_**“You're already a horrible brother. Why bother like you actually care for once? Just lie, life was so much better when you never opened your big, fat, mouth, you repugnant abomination!”** _

Sans just wanted to be alone. He didn't want his family by him as he spoke, feeling their empathy and gentle touches like he was broken. He didn't want his voices insulting him for every action and thought. Foli didn't treat Sans like either of them. She supported him and offered him solutions, not to say his family hadn't but maybe not as well. Foli wouldn't give him any pity or sorrowful expression as he confessed his habits and why he thought they were emerging. She wouldn't hate him and call him horrific things until he broke down. Maybe...Maybe if he just-…

“Um...” Sans swallowed, voice trembling, hands tugging at the fabric of his jacket nervously. Just ask, just ask! He could do it. He was allowed to ask. “C-...Can I talk t-to you-uh….alone?” Sans' wavering pupils looked only at his therapist, unable to bring himself to face his family. Sans had yet to truly be alone with Foli, but now Sans didn't know if he could handle his family in the same room with him. His voices were bad enough.

Grillby immediately looked at Foli who watched him with a look that read 'get-the-fuck-out-he's-making-progress'. Directing his attention to Papyrus who appeared sceptical but hopeful the two shared a slight bob of the head.

“Of course, you can Sans. Grillby, Papyrus, if you would be so kind as to take a seat in the waiting area until the session is over.” The flame took his younger child's hand and led him to the door. He glanced back at his oldest one last time, his body facing away completely, hunched over.

“We'll be right outside, Sans.” The bartender told the skeleton who barely acknowledged the words. Sans waited for the sound of the door clicking shut before he curled up. His knees were pressed rightly against his chest, arms wrapped around them to hold his position. His head rested on his knees, sockets watering despite him not even beginning to express his emotional state to his therapist.

_**“Cry baby.”** _

**“I'l̛l̕ giv̸e** **͠** **̡yo** **͠** **u** **͢** **som̴e̢th** **͠** **i̡n** **͞** **g** **͏** **͞** **t̡o** **͞** **cry̸ ̧ab** **҉** **o̶u̡t̢.** **͝** **you ̡ba̛ćks** **͠** **tabb** **͢** **ing** **͟** **lit̡tl̕e̶** **͡** **s** **҉** **ḩit.”**

“Sans?” The skeleton sniffed, slowly raising his head to look at his therapist. “Is everything alright?” The moisture accumulated and began to overflow, tears trickling down his face. He wanted to cry and wail but repressed it. Instead, he sucked in a few awkward breaths, tears streaming down his cheeks as he admitted his feeling in a timid and small voice.

“No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry to do this, on an ending like this as well, but updates may be delayed significantly for the month of May. I can't promise anything on time due to personal health reasons that came up just yesterday. To sum it up quickly without going into too much detail, turns out my body isn't as healthy as I thought and I have to get some tests done as well as change a lot of my usual habits including diet and medication. These changes will be rather difficult for me when it comes to performing my usual tasks or any task that requires my attention/concentration/and mood which includes writing. Due to possible and likely side effects, I may not be in the right mind or mood to write a decent and sufficient chapter and I do not wish to post something with a bad mind or force some short chapter out when the next few chapters are rather import and crucial to wrapping the story up. So yea, sorry. Again, it won't be on hiatus nor be stopped in any way. I would just like to take the extra precaution and inform you as to why the update is late in the event of it being so.
> 
> Sucks because I really wanted to try to wrap this fic up this month, sigh. But thank you guys for you kind words and support. Sorry for the wonky schedule and whatnot, hopefully this can be resolved sooner than later...
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	37. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for editing, my dear :)!
> 
>  
> 
> [Cute art is cute!!!](http://humanfont.tumblr.com/post/143731492369/after-reading-my-fault-by-keelynoelleart-on-the)

**“One _word you little mistake. One word and you're dead.”_**  

**"Do̢n̡'̴ţ bȩ ̷a̴ snítch,́ S͢ans̴y. B̢e a ǵoơd lit̀t̶l͏e f̡u̴c͡k͏i͢ng a̵b͠ǫḿin͘a̛ti͠o͞n a͝n͝d l͡ie."͠ ̢**

 “Sans?” The skeleton flinched, pinprick pupils darting up to meet the leafy hollows of Foli's face. He hadn't been paying attention to anything she had said, if she had said anything at all. She appeared concerned, he must had missed something. Sans just couldn't focus. Not with his soul beating so erratically, his magic pulsing through him, his bones filling with the spastic and uncontrollable magic. The child's body trembled in his seat, toes digging into the material at the bottom of his boots as his fingers gripping his humerus so tightly he feared he may snap it in half. He was petrified. Sans regretted opening his mouth, regretted having his family leave, regretted agreeing to come. Sans regretted every action that ever lead to him ending up in his current position. 

He regretted it, yet deep down he cried out. He wanted help, affection, praise, to be loved and normal once again. He wanted to open his mouth and tell Foli everything he felt and everything he feared. Tell her about his nightmares, the voices, Gaster, the labs, everything. Sans didn't want to suffer alone anymore. He was tired of his mental abuse. He was so tired of his misery. He didn't know how much more he could take. Sans sought out Foli's wisdom and guidance. A way to free himself of his own mind even just for a moment. He craved her answers and knew she could help. She could help him overcome his fears, his habits, his hatred, his insanity, his pain. Someone had to. Someone had to be able to help him, because Sans couldn't take it anymore.

**_“You feeble little brat. If you hate yourself that bad then end it.”_ **

**"̨Pitif̕u̕l͝ s̴c̵uḿ, ̡t̕oo w͟ea̴k ̡ţo ev҉e̵n ͠t̀akę ͠the͠ cowar͡d's̶ ͟wa͜y ̡óut̴."̧**

No more words. No more abuse. From himself, from his mind, from his nightmares. If Foli could grant him this salvation, Sans would be eternally grateful. He prayed for a day he could wake up with a smile. Where his body did not feel like lead, and the thought alone of simply rolling onto his back was too much for him to even muster. A time where he could sit down at the breakfast table, laughing, smiling, enjoying the company of his loved ones. Where he did not flinch at there every movement and wait for his family to order him like he was their dog. A day where he didn't cower away from Grillby's presence but accepted it. A morning where his brother didn't find him talking to himself and a night where he didn't fall asleep with Sans clinging onto him as if he were to vanish at any moment. A life where he didn't fear the shadows and could sleep without dreaming of the hell he had endured. A life Sans wasn't sure he'd ever have. 

If Foli could grant him this fantasy, this dream, his unobtainable vision, then, Sans would finally be free.

**"͏No ̧one c̛a̶n ̸s͝áve̸ ̢you, frea͏k.͏ ̢N̷O ͟O̷NE͏!́!!̀"̕**

It seemed impossible. And if Sans had to be honest, he didn't believe it was possible to free him of his mind. He'd be trapped within it forever, lost in his insanities cruelty. It would take a miracle, maybe even more. Foli could do nothing, Papyrus could do nothing, Grillby could do nothing, Sans could do noting. There was no help, no aid, no salvation. Nothing but this hell...

**_“No one will help you, you trash heap! You're stuck with us. The only way you'll get rid of us is by ending it. Maybe you should, you roach. YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD!”_ **

 The thought made tears prickle at the side of his wide, sorrowful sockets. Sans didn't want to die. He didn't want death to be his solution. He didn't want to say goodbye to his family and the world he had barely gotten to know. He didn't want to lose faith in his dream of sanity and a clear mind no matter how fictional it seemed to him. He just wanted all his suffering to stop, even just for a moment.

**“I͝t̷ can a̡l̶l̸ ̡s̀ţop̀,̀ ̨San̵s͡y. You̷ ҉can̸ ̵m̀ak͠e ̢it al̴l ͏go a͞way. ̶I͠t ͜w̨o͞uld b͢e b́e̴tt҉ęr ͞for ͟e̴ve̢ryo̢ne.̢ Thi͞nk of all t̷h͟è m̸i̷s͝e̷ry yo͡u pu̸t ţhem̕ th̀roug̷h́.”**

**_“All the pain they endured because of you.”_ **

**“Look at all the damage you caused 01S.”**

Sans felt empty.

**_“You just keep making everything worse. How selfish of you. You don't care about anyone but yourself, you spoiled brat.”_ **

**"͝Y͠ou͝'͝re bab҉y ̨b̸r҉o̕t͢h͏er's̶ ̢cracke̕d͡ h̡e̶ad̀ an͏d̛ hea̛rt͜.̷ You'v͠e͡ ͜r͟u̸in̴e͠d ͡h͢įm̕, ͡S͝a͝nsy. H͢e̵ said͝ it ͢h͟i̵ms͟elf ҉d͢i̛dǹ't͟ ́he? ͟'Y̛o̧u are͟n̢'t ęv͏e̶n m̵y̡ ͜bro̸the͟ŕ a͟ǹy̷m͡o͟re'. Hiş exa͟ct ͏w̵o̴r͏d̢s,̡ h͠ow sad̸. ̕A͏n͏d ͢G͝r͡illby,̴ po̵o͠r ̢G̷r̢i̡l̕lby͡ ̷h͜áv͠ing' t͢o dęal ͜w̶ith͜ t̡he͟ e͝mbarr͠as͝s͢m̀ent óf h̕àv̷ing y̡où as͞ a͝ ̛so҉n.͠"**

**_“If you hate yourself so much, trash bag, imagine how they must think of you. You must be the most pathetic, vile, disgusting creature they've ever seen. I bet they just take pity on you. They don't care. No one cares about you.”_ **

No one…

**“Wouldn't this have all be better 01S if you didn't exist?”**

**"̴Yo͡u̴'d c͠aus̢e̴ ̧n̶o͠ mor̨e͡ pa͢in.͏ ̡F̡eel̸ no ͟mor҉e ̸p̢ai̵n.̴"̵**

  ** _“Your family could be happy and normal. So much better off, without you.”_**

**“Your life forgotten, no more than a pile of dust floating away in the wind...”**

**"͟N̴o ̕mor̢e͞ ͟a̷nyt̶hing,͘ ͠San͞s͜y͠. N̡o͡ mo͏re ̨tea̡rs, ̀pain͘, hu̷rt̢. ̡You'ḑ ̢b͏e ̵free. ̡T̛hey'd̢ be f̕r͡ee. W̕e'͡d͏ ̶a̸l͠l be͘ f̨re̸e͘ and͏ ha͡ppy.҉ ̢Isn'̧t҉ that̢ ̴w̢h҉at ̧y̧ou͜ ͠w̷an͞t? ̴D͞òn't̀ yo̵u̧ ͘w̴ant e̕v̀ȩryone t͜o ͝b̛e͡ ̕h͠ap̷p͝y̸?̢"̀**  

 **_“_ ** **No more Gaster.”**

**_“No more damage caused._ **

  **“Jusţ bliss̕.̸.̨."͞**

No more?...Everything gone? Was it possible?

No more pain. No more hurting his family. No more tearful eyes. No more pitiful looks. No more stressful dinners. No more depression. No more voices insulting him. No more of their harassment and cruelty. No more memories of the labs. No more fear of Gaster. No more Gaster at all. No more phantom burns of the determination. No more sleepless nights. No more hurt. No more tears. No more anything! No more **_selfishness_** , more more **i̷n̷s̛àn͏ity,** no **him**. It would be gone, everything gone! Every would be better, everyone would be better! He caused it all, everything was always his fault. But if he wasn't there anymore, it would all go away. Their suffering, his agony, everything! His death could-

Sans' soul pulsed inside of his chest with so much force his eyes snapped open and he doubled over. His magic flared up in response to his thoughts, eye glowing as his hand became engulfed in a faint cyan glow. Sans sucked in a deep breath, gasping for air as his trembling eyes locked onto the tiles floor beneath him.

“Sans?” His skull raised to stare at Foli who was on her feet, leaning over the desk. “Sans, can you hear me?” Sans did not respond, his panic still too fresh and his reality far too jumbled with his thoughts.

How could he think that? Why had he? Why did part of him believe it was still the right thing to do? Why couldn't the other half stop shaking? Sans was so tired of feeling like this. So tired of his exhaustion, his panic, his insanity. He just wanted it to stop.

“Why won't it go away?” Sans breathed out, shivering despite the warm temperature of the room.

“Why won't what go away, Sans?” Foli questioned, still standing. 

“Everything,” the skeleton cried, pupils becoming faded but large. “I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want to, I can't.” He said in a defeated tone. 

“Sans what's wrong? Are your voices bothering you? What are they saying?”

“They hate me!” Sans snapped, slamming his fist against the chair. “They hate me and they want me dead and I do too! I don't want to be like this anymore! I can't! I-I just want it to stop.” The skeleton sobbed, burrowing into his jacket.

“I know, Sans. I know you don't want to deal with this.” Foli replied almost instantly, stepped out from behind her desk.. “It's going to be alright, Sans. I can help you, but I need you to let me. Please Sans, I promise you it'll be okay.” She spoke as she approached the skeleton. 

“What if it won't?” He countered, tired of hearing the lie. It wasn't getting better. He'd never be okay. He wasn't okay. She couldn't promise him it got better when he knew it wouldn't! “I...I don't w-want to feel like this anymore.” His faith was draining by the second.

“I know, Sans. Stars, I know.” Foli grieved sounding close to tears and Sans wondered if the leaf monster could cry or lacked the ability to like Grillby. “It hurts, it hurts so much doesn't it? It feels like no matter what you do nothing will make it go away. That no one can ever make it go away. You can't see tomorrow and don't believe that there is a way out. You don't want to try and don't want to believe. You feel so lost, scared, and hopeless because you think that this pain will last forever and that there is no escape.” The therapist was knelt right in front of her patient, offering a comforting form support.

“There isn't.” Sans sobbed, cutting his therapist off. Foli shook her head, leaves flying out as she grabbed his knees tightly.

“There is Sans!” She stressed, her leaves tickling him oddly. “This isn't forever. This will go away. There will be a day where you can wake up with a smile and fall asleep without crying. I promise you this Sans, I promise you it'll get better.”

 “W-When?” He demanded, refusing to accept this fairy tale.

 “I can't tell you that Sans, no one can.”

 “Because it won't!” Sans shouted refused to be swayed with his therapist's words.

"Just because I can't give you an answer doesn't mean it won't come true or that it will never happen!” Foli clarified, refusing to give up. “Everything you are feeling right now is temporary. I can help you, Sans. I can help you find your smile. I can help you overcome your past. I can help you vanquish your demons. I can help you Sans,” Foli's foliated hands rested over Sans' own. Sans' gaze followed up the therapist's arms to her face. He took in her shrubby features, slightly discoloured leaves crinkled to form her pleading expression.

Letting his sockets droop before closing completely, Sans inhaled quietly, soul no longer beating so erratically. As his soul relaxed he shivered, his extra magic dispersing leaving him feeling empty for a moment before the weight of his emotions crushed him. As if the sudden pressure was too much, Sans arms fell to his side and he collapsed against Foli releasing a loud wail. Foli released a silent sigh of relief, body wilting as she wrapped her branch-like arms around the skeleton.

Sans clung to the figure before him, sobbing and crying as he began to confess. He told Foli about his episode, how he panicked and hallucinated and ended up in the Waterfalls. He spoke of his insanity and how the voices mocked him and how Gaster stood, taunting and influencing his actions. He wailed as he spoke of pushing his brother and hurting his head and of his mental collapse that followed soon after. About losing control, blasting the caves and almost his family in his moment of blind hysteria. He spoke of the days after and how his habits had returned. How disgusting he felt and how foul his actions were. His self loathing and loathing of his entire being that always followed after every humiliating wave of shame that flooded him with his mannerisms. He confessed his moments with Grillby and Papyrus. How he believed they'd hate him and viewed him as lowly as he viewed himself and even how he deserved it. Sans spoke of his doubts and how lonely he felt but knew he was better off away from his family to spare them his presence. He spoke of his hallucinations and constant mistaking of Gaster's haunting shadow and how his voiced never shut up. How they mocked him, teased him, hurt him, destroyed him. How they were right, how they have always been right. He told Foli about his thoughts just moments ago. The voices that lured him into believing his death was the solution, and how he almost believed them. How he kind of did believed them.

Everything. Every thought. Every action. Every word. Sans confessed them all, exposing himself completely before his therapist who had yet to utter a single sound. And when he was finished, when he could no longer think of anything else to say, when no tears fell, no sobs shook his shoulders, no whimpers escaped, he apologized. He continued to apologize, never specifying what for. Foli too, did not interrupt him during this as well. She continued to hold Sans protectively, providing the comfort he craved and the attention he so desperately needed. It was only when the apologizes stopped, that Sans went silent. He did not sniff or cry or vocalize a single syllable. His grasp on his therapist slipped, his arms falling into his lab, eyes closing. In that moment, Foli pulled away, hands lingering on Sans' as their eyes met.

“I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask,” Foli announced honestly, leaning back in her chair. “But first I have to ask you, Sans, are you suicidal?” The skeleton sucked in a deep breath.

“N-No.” No? Sans wasn't. He didn't believe he was. Sans didn't want to die. But he did just-...

“You said you believed your voices when they told you your death was a way out. Have they said this before?” The therapist questioned, watching her patient.

“No, never before.” Just insults and threat.

“Have you ever thought about committing suicide? Did you ever have a plan, an idea?”

“N-No, I-I don't want to. I-I don't-” Sans became flustered, bothered by the topic. He didn't want to die. H-He just wanted it to stop. He didn't mean to believe the voices, he was just desperate.

“Sans, I know you don't want to. A lot of monsters don't want to die or fall down but they do because they believe it is the only solution. Do you realize that it is not?" 

“Yes.” Although it was hard to believe, it was true. That wasn't the only option, there were others. He just had a hard time putting his faith in them.

“Do you think these thoughts will happen again?” Foli watched as Sans' frame shrunk, curling in on himself.   

“I…I don't know.”

“That's fine, I want you to be honest Sans. Do you think this you can be trusted alone not to harm yourself in any way?” Sans mouth was small, pressed into a firm line as his white balls of light shifted down to the floor with his bowed head.

“I don't know.” He didn't. Sans never thought himself capable of doing it the first time, but here they were. He couldn't promise anything because he wasn't in control of himself any longer. His mental stability was so weak his hold on reality was broken by a whispering voice. Sans wanted to promise he wouldn't and that he was fine, but he couldn't. 

“Okay, thank you for being honest Sans. I want you to be safe and your honestly helps me do that. Do you understand the situation, though? If I asked you to be placed under a suicide watch would you understand why I did that?” The skeleton's back tensed, feet rubbing together.

“Y-Yes.”

“I don't plan to, right now.” The therapist stated, allowing her patient to relax. “Because you told me and because you did not try to do any harm to yourself you do not need to be placed under any watch here at the hospital. However, I am going to have to tell Grillby about this and ask him to make sure you aren't alone anymore. No more closed doors, or locking yourself away, okay?” Sans nodded, gaze now shifting over to the wall. Sans wasn't allowed to be alone regardless really. He was always taken to work with Grillby or Bonnie. Even though he was in his room a lot, the entire family check up on him often ensuring he was alright.

“Okay, I think we should try to resolve the immediate problem now. Can you tell me more about these habits Sans? You gave a few examples but is that all?” The skeleton shook his head as his therapist crossed her legs.

“N-No, there's...a lot. I don't know how to describe them all they just keep popping up.” And that they did. Seemed like everyday Sans managed to find a new way to embarrass himself. It was humiliating.

“Are they always old mannerisms? Have you developed any new ones?” Foli pondered debating on keeping notes but remembered Sans' discomfort with that.

“No, just the old one. They just...I don't like them. They make me feel like how I was in the labs. I'm always scared and alert when I know I shouldn't be. I don't see anyone at home like Gaster but I act like I do and it disgusts me. I wait to be ordered, walk behind them, don't look them in the eyes, flinch when they come near, it's humiliating. I don't want to be that anymore. I don't want them or anyone to see me like that.” The child whimpered, curled up in a fetal position. Sans wasn't in the Labs anymore. He wasn't being harmed, and he was free. Yet, he still acted as if he wasn't. And why?

 “Why do you think these mannerisms are returning?” Foli wondered having a few ideas herself.

“I don't know,” Sans mumbled not trusting the few options that came to mind.

“Do you really? There wasn't a single thought of why or how?” Foli just received a shrug. “Something had to spark this Sans. Was it the incident?” The skeleton swallowed thickly.

“I guess, it happened right after.” Sans hadn't felt the same after the incident. He felt more unstable than ever before. It felt as if his reality and delusions had become one. He could no longer comfortable say what was and wasn't real, and because of that, he was afraid. His collapse had terrified him beyond believe. The voices, the visions, everything had been so real and so prominent that it continued to haunt him now.

“What about it? The voices? Perhaps Gaster?” Sans tensed at the mention of the monster. “Are you still afraid of what you say?” The therapist asked and Sans looked away.

“Of course, I am.” He admitted in a defensive tone. How could he not be?!

“Do you realize what you saw was a hallucination?” The skeleton did not answer. “Sans, do you think what you saw was real?" 

“He's out there,” Sans mumbled, barely audible. 

“What do you mean? I thought you said he was dead?” Foli leaned closer, stealing a glance at the clock to check for time.

“He...is.” Gaster was dead, or rather gone. Sans was unaware if the Void had truly killed him, he just assumed. But after the episode, Sans was beginning to doubt Gaster's death.

“Sans, I don't understand. You said multiple times that Gaster was dead, were you lying when you said that?”

“H-He's...not.” Sans murmured socket's closing.

“So Gaster is alive? Sans if he is you need to tell us. We have to-”

“Y-...You can't get-...I'm going to sound crazy.” Sans gasped, grabbing at his skull. “You're going to think I am more insane than I already am.”

“Sans, no one thinks you are insane. Don't lock up like this please, take in a deep breath for me.” The skeleton took in a shaky inhale, releasing it with just as much unease. “Sans, where is Gaster?” Foli questioned and Sans watched her with pinprick pupils. 

“He's in the Void.”

“The Void,” Foli repeated, “where is the Void?”

“In the machine.”

“Where is the machine?”

“In the labs.”

“Is this machine working?”

“N-No it's broken, I broke it.” Foli stared past Sans for a second, processing the information.

“So, Gaster is in the Void that is in the machine that you broke.” Sans held his breath and nodded. “So, he's not here in the Underground?”

“I don't know.” He didn't. He had no idea what the Void is or where it went to. Nothing about it was known, Sans barely understood why he was going to be shoved into it.

“If the royal guards were to go investigate this machine, would they find Gaster?”

“No. He's not here. He's gone.” One again the therapist paused, leafy lips pressed together.

“So, he is dead?”

“He's gone,” Sans repeated. Dead meant dust, and Sans saw no dust when Gaster vanished.

“Okay Sans,” Foli straightened her posture and uncrossed her legs. “I'm going to ask you some questions and I'd like for you to answer them to the best of your abilities, okay?”

“Okay,” Sans agreed hesitantly.

“Can you take me to where Gaster's physical body is?”

“No,” the skeleton confessed.

“Do you believe he is dead?”

“...I-No.”

“Do you believe that the Gaster you saw during your episodes was real?" 

“Ye-Yes.”

“Why do you think he's back?”

“He wants to hurt me and Papyrus.” Foli sighed, looking over her shoes before returning her gaze to her patient.

“But Sans, I don't-...If he is gone and not presently in the Underground, how can he hurt you?”

“I-I don't know. The Void it-it does...I don't know what it is or does. H-He could be anywhere it-it's not normal. T-The void it's here, it's-he's still here it-” Sans whimpered, tugging at the end of his sleeves. It was so difficult to explain the Void and what happened because Sans still was so unknown about it himself.

“What do you mean it's here. What exactly is this Void?”

“I don't know!”

“Okay, that's fine, but how is Gaster still here?”

“The voice and him...they...merged-or he-he melted and...went i-i-in-insi-side--” He gagged, limb shooting up to cover his mouth. Foli lunged over for the small waste basket snatching it up and barely making it in time for Sans to grab it and vomit. Very little came out and Sans was left dry heaving and hacking into the bin for a few moments. Foli handed him a tissue to wipe his teeth with, hand remaining offered long after the tissue was taken. Her hollowed out eyes locked onto the ebony liquid he wiped off his teeth. Sans noticed the still-extended arm and followed it up to his therapist's face. They two stared before the skeleton broke the gaze to peer into the waste basket that contained a small amount of inky ooze. A hush fell over them, the only sound being the agonizingly loud clicking of the clock.

“Does this happen often?” Foli asked unsure of how to directly ask what the hell the substance was.

“...Sometimes,” the skeleton admitted.

“W-...What, um...what is it?” Sans bony digits curled around the rim of the trash bin.

“T...The Void and...G-Gaster?...I...H-He's inside me? I-It-It's in-inside-de me?” An unnervingly calm expression washed over Foli's face and Sans found it difficult to make eye contact. The therapist eventually relaxed her tense shoulders and folded her hands together on her lap.

 “Sans, will you let me help you?” The skeleton blinked, unsure of the sudden question.

“Y-Yes?”

“Will you help me understand everything that is making you so unhappy? Will you help me understand and get to the deeply seeded root of this problem, even if it hurt?”

“Yes,” Sans stated again.

“Do you promise not to lie and hold back on every detail no matter how awful?”

“Yes,” the child answered one final time.

“Then Sans,” Foli began in a gently tone, pulling the chair closer beside his and sitting in it. “Please tell me about the day you left the labs.”

And he did. Sans spoke of the entire ordeal in great detail. So much so, that Foli had called Lee to inform her that Sans would be staying for another session. As Sans confessed his tale, the therapist mimicked her behavior from before and remained silent. She only spoke when she wanted Sans to be more descriptive or was confused about a topic. Instead of backing away from the questions like he normally would, the skeleton answered each one only crying a few times during the whole ordeal.

The machine, Papyrus, Gaster, the Void, the black ooze, all of it came out and was exposed to someone for the first time. Sans didn't know if he felt relieved or terrified. His body wouldn't stop shaking, his voice kept cracking, and his soul had begun beating erratically once more. Every time he felt like smiling his nausea grew but when he felt depressed a burst of adrenaline burst through the mood. She knew, finally, someone knew everything. Sans had no more secrets, no more lies, no more past Foli was unaware of. She knew his entire life and Sans, he...loved it. Someone knew. He couldn't hide anymore. He didn't need to hide anymore. His dirty secrets were exposed and no one punished him for it. He expected someone to. Boy did he expect someone to. He could practically envision Gaster towering over him, his purple magic reaching out to rip his limbs off, but he wasn't here.  

It was just him and Foli. The first monster to ever know what fully happened. The first monster to learn the truth. And even after finding out, she stayed with him, supportive and determined. 

“Is that everything?” Foli asked when Sans had gone silent.

“Yes,” Sans answered with a mildly hoarse voice. “You know what happens after that. The homelessness, the running, the hiding.”

“So before, when you threw up the black liquid, you believe it's Gaster?”

“Not fully? It's...s-stuff? It's...whatever went inside me.” Foli nodded, head resting on the top of her entwined fingers. 

“When you fell into the machine, this Void matter went into you?” Sans nodded, “and Gaster 'melted', to say, and also went inside you?”

“Yes." 

“And when you left said machine, you threw up this liquid? Was that the first time?”

“Yeah.”

“And, how many times have you done it since?”

“I don't know, a lot I guess.”

“Uh huh, okay. And, has it been progressively getting less each time? Is it always black?”

“Um, kinda? I guess it's less but it's always black.” The therapist continued to bob her head, leaves popping off every once in a while.

“And after falling in the machine you have changed? You said as you were looking for Papyrus you teleported a few rooms ahead. Have you always been able to do this?”

“N-No, it's just been there since I fell in.”

“Has anything else weird happened because of it?” Sans thought it over, rubbing at his arm.

“Um….I don't know? W-Weird stuff happens a lot. I don't know if it...relates to that or not.” Weird stuff was normal for Sans. It could all be correlated to the Void but also not at all.

“Okay, okay-uh...So, um...Can you still teleport?” Foli wondered trying to fully grasp onto the situation and the information that flooded in.

“Yeah, I'm not that good through. I kinda fall a lot because I don't know where I'll land.”

“So you don't have any control over it?”

 “Not really, no. I mean, I can do it whenever I want but when I panic and do it I tend to not really think about where and just go. It's kinda hard to land because I'm not very good at it. I don't like practicing because it makes my head hurt and takes up a lot of energy. It's easier to do than before though. Before it kind of just happened whenever I got to scared. I couldn't go very far either, usually just a couple meters but now it feels less...unstable?”

“Do you think that's because you've been expelling more of this liquid?” Foli gestured to the trash bin and Sans shrugged. 

“Maybe?”

 “Do you think that one day it'll go away completely?” Sans stared out the window behind them.

“...I hope so. I don't...like it. It's a reminder of what happened. I hate it, it's-” Sans huffed, knees rubbing together as he thought about the substance within him. “It's there and it can't get out. I can't get rid of it. I don't know what it is and every time I see it I'm forced to remember what happened and what inside of me. How he's still in me and I can't get him out.” 

"Do you feel like it changed you? Did falling into the machine impact you or change you on some level? Did you perhaps see something beyond Gaster?” The skeleton shivered as he recalled the vast emptiness of the Void.

“No, there was nothing. It was just black and cold and suffocating. I couldn't see or breathe or speak and it just felt so overwhelming. It was so large but so small and so empty but so cluttered. It's like if a window was covered with a black curtain so you couldn't see it or know it was there. All you saw the was black curtain and could only feel like maybe something was beyond it but the black curtain was so dark and vast that it sucked up anything that could get through. I don't get it and I never want to. But every time I think about it my head hurts and I hate it.”

“Okay, I understand,” Foli said, causing the skeleton's fidgeting to ease up. “So, because Gaster is inside of you, you feel as if he is not dead and gone?”

 “Is he?” Sans questioned and Foli didn't know how to answer. “I don't know what to think,” Sans admitted, staring at his phalanges. “You guys keep saying it's a hallucination but what if it's not? You don't know what the Void is or what it can do, I don't know! All I know is that he was there.”

“But Sans you said to me that he appeared in both forms and he admitted to not being real. Isn't that a sign that it wasn't?”

“But why would he appear in both forms? Why wouldn't he just be his normal one, that one who he always was? Why was his Void form there?”

 “Because it is a traumatic experience Sans. Both forms of this monster have impacted you greatly and have damaged you psychologically. You could see any number of forms of Gaster, but they'd all be hallucinations.”

“But what if it wasn't? Nobody else went through the machine, nobody else remembers anything but me! How do I know it's not a side effect from the machine? How do I know it's not actually Gaster? He's smart, he's clever, he's vengeful! He's inside me and he wants to hurt me and Papyrus!” Sans voice was raised, becoming frantic. 

“Sans, please, calm down.” The therapist instructed calmly, reaching out to sooth the patience who flinched away.

“D-Don't!”

“Okay,” Foli raised her hands in defense, leaning away from Sans. “Sans breathe and think about this. Think not about your panic and your anxiety but logically. Have you ever seen Gaster before the medication?”

“N-No.”

“Did Papyrus and Grillby tell you that when you thought Gaster was touching you it was yourself? You grabbed your own arm, not Gaster. Papyrus and Grillby both saw this.” Sans recalled them mentioning it but had a hard time accepting it. Gaster had appeared so clear that it seemed so impossible for him to not be real. 

“S-So?” He mumbled.

“Has anyone ever heard or seen Gaster when you claimed to?”

“No.”

“But, you did say that Grillby saw the black matter you threw up, right? I did too, right there.” She pointed to the basket that still continued Sans' vomit. 

“Yeah, so?”

“So, Sans, we can see whatever it is that got inside you. Whether it be Void matter or Gaster, those who haven't been into the machine can see it. So why wouldn't we be able to see the Void Gaster too?” The skeleton did not respond, just stared. 

“You don't have to agree Sans, but I'd like for you to see where I am coming from. You said you never had this happen before when you weren't on the mediation, including currently. Your voices are still there, but we can both agree that those are part of your schizoaffective-disorder. Seeing Gaster frightened you, it disturbed your mind and now you have a hard time accepting that he is really gone and that's okay. You have suffered a lot because of him and it is only natural for you to feel this way. Your habits are a side effect of that. You're afraid because you saw him when you shouldn't have, and now you can't accept that he is gone. Your old habits are returning because you expect him to as well, but he won't. You need to be able to understand and see that. We should be able to see him too and we didn't. This isn't about the machine and who fell in. This is you realizing what is reality and what is in here right now. Do you agree with everything I've said?”

“Yeah,” Sans muttered. “B-But it's hard. W-What if he does come back?”

“How would he?” Foli asked out of curiosity. “You said you watched his body melt and disappear. That alone would mean he is gone, but also, the machine is broken. If the only way out is gone so how could he escape?” 

“I...I don't know.” Sans admitted, feeling embarrassed about his paranoia.

 “It's alright to be afraid Sans. You just can't let this paranoia get to you like this. Today I want you to step out of your comfort zone and stop hiding away in your room. Be around your family because they do care about you Sans and they are worried. They want to help. Their reactions to you aren't out of pity but concern. Sans, recovery revolves around communication. If you don't talk to your family how are they supposed to know what you are thinking?”

“What if they get disgusted? What if they hate me?” Sans whimpered and Foli grabbed his hand, rubbing the top affectionately.

“Sans why would they ever think that? Have they ever said that to you?” 

“N-No but...” 

“Sans you cannot live in fear and you cannot allow your negativity and illness to rule over you. Do you want your family to love you and accept you?”

“Of course.”

“Then let them, Sans. You know just as well as I that they are so desperate to help you. You just need to stop believing these lies and just let them. Your soul might race, your anxiety might spike, even habits might return just from a simple hello but it's progress and it'll help. Do you not feel better after our talk today?”

“I do!”

“Would you feel the same way if you could talk about these things comfortably with Papyrus and Grillby?”

“Yes.”

“Sans, I want you to try for me right now.” He whimpered as Foli pulled away. “We only have ten minutes left and I want you to tell Grillby and Papyrus how you feel and why you are afraid to tell them these things. Do you think you can do this for me?” Sans just moaned quietly.

“I-I'm scared.” Terrified. It was one thing to tell these to Foli, but not to his family. Not the people he feared would hate him if they found out. Not the only two family member Sans had. He couldn't risk them leaving him.

“We can practice. Pretend I'm your family, Sans. Now, why is it hard to talk to us?”

“I'm afraid,” the skeleton whimpered.

“Afraid of what?”

“That you'll hate me a-and that you'll thi-think I'm ugly and disgusting." 

“Why do you think that?”

“B-Because I-I think that about-about myself and I'm a burden and-and a bad brother and gross and ruined b-because of Gaster. A-And you know th-that and you hate me because I make everything worse. Y-You'd be so much happier without me.” Sans cried out, desperately rubbing at his face with his sleeves as moisture began to form.

 “And they'd respond by telling you how wrong you are Sans, but it would be best to hear it from them. Can I go get them?” Sans nodded, scrubbing his face uselessly. He had already cried so much, yet only more kept coming. Foli opened the door and called out for Grillby and Papyrus. The two barely had time to make it into the doorway before Sans whipped around, eyes welling with fresh tears. The skeleton jumped off the chair, releasing a loud wail as he sprinted over to his guardian who scooped him up immediately.

“I'm sorry, don't hate me!” Sans begged and Grillby's flamed head lowered as he sent a questioning look to Foli who just gestured to the chair.

“I don't hate you Sans. Why would you think that?” The element asked, pulling Sans away enough to look into his face.

“B-Because I thi-think you do. Because-Because I hate-ate myself a l-lot and-and I'm-m vil-le and gross and I-I r-ruin-n every-everything. You-Y-You two would-d b-be h-happ-ppier with-without-out me a-and I'm sc-scared-d you'll-you'll hate m-me like Gaster did.”

“Oh Sans,” Grillby whispered, immediately pulled his child close once more. The skeleton latched onto his neck, sobbing loudly into the crook as he continued to babble on about what he thought. Papyrus climbed into the chair as well, snuggling up to his brother who removed on of his arms to cling to Papyrus' scarf like a lifeline.

“-And-And I'm so-so s-scared you'll b-both-both hate me. I-I'm sorry but-but please, _please_ don't hate me, Dad. I-I'm s-so sorry. Pl-Please, don't I can't-I-I don't want to be alone, please.” Sans pleaded, entire body trembling. He was so scared, so terrified of what was to come next. They held him, comforted him, listened, but Sans still expected to be thrown aside. His fists were shaking as they clung to his family, petrified they'd try to pull him off.

Papyrus was silently crying, his soul aching in his ribcage as Sans cried. His brother sounded so small and broken and that fact that he thought for a second that Papyrus or Grillby hated him or would ever hate it made both family members feel ill. Grillby wrapped his arm securely around his oldest son, ensuring him that he was safe.

“Sans we-...Stars, Sans we could never hate you.” Grillby said in a gently but convincing tone. “Never would I ever think of you like that. Hell, kiddo I-” The flame's voice cut off as his natural crackling tone shined through. He took in a shaky breath, pushing aside his emotions to focus on his son. “I love you Sans. I love you so damn much. I will never leave you. I won't ever be like Gaster. I don't want you ever thinking we will ever be like that because we won't. We'll always be here for you, kiddo.” Papyrus nodded, holding onto the hand that gripped onto his scarf so tightly. “I-I'm sorry if I ever made you think that, Sans. I love and care for you both so much.” 

“Y-You are-You aren't m-mad-d? Y-You don't h-hate-hate m-me?” Sans choked out, hesitantly pulling away to stare at his guardian with overflowing sockets.

 “Never, Sans. Never,” Grillby stressed.

 “Y-You won-n't l-leave?”

“You couldn't pry me away if you wanted to Sans.” The skeleton let out a small hiccup, his teeth clattering together as he tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. 

“I-I'm sorry,” he sniffed but Grillby just shook his head, resting his forehead against his son's.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” The element told his child scooping up Papyrus and pressing them both against his eternally warm body. Foli gently smiled at the touching scene. With little time left and her working hours quickly coming to an end, she needed to sadly break up the family bonding to inform Grillby of the topics discussed.

“Sans is currently in a very contradicting state right now. He wants to get better but doesn't believe he can. He wants to be able to rekindle the rift between the family, he believes he caused, but also thinks things would be easier for you and Papyrus without him there. With no medication to help relieve some of his more severe symptoms, a lot of his paranoia and fears are surfacing and he doesn't have the mental stability to fight them as much as he wants to. He's resorted to locking himself away and hiding because he is embarrassed and ashamed. However, when he does this is he is isolated and alone with his thoughts which makes his paranoia and instability grow.” Glancing down at her file on Sans, Foli frowned momentarily before returning his gaze to Grillby. 

“I don't have the time to continue this session for long. The hospital itself closes in twenty minutes, this wing in ten. But I will let you know that he confessed everything which is why our session ran a bit over. He discussed a lot of things, how he felt, how he thought you two felt, the incidents, his view and thoughts, many things. Sans also told me about what happened the day he left the Labs and, well I would still like to talk to him and you about certain topics retaining to that area more depth since we did run short on time. Perhaps is Sans feels up for it he can tell you himself, but he had a very eventful and emotional session. I think he is ready for a long nap.” The therapist flashed an empathetic expression to her patient who burrowed deeper in the warmth of his family. 

“Sans did also inform me that he was feeling suicidal.” Grillby's entire body went rigid. “It-well, it is as mild as this type of thing can be. He said he has never felt like he wanted to commit suicide or that he had thought about it or tried to before other than today. Because he hasn't tried or is self harming and had told me this before it escalated I won't request or ask of you to consider an overnight stay so he can be watched. I also don't think that would be beneficial or helpful all things considered, however I will ask for you to watch him. Actually there are a few things I'd like for you to as a collective group.” The therapist voiced, hands folded together. 

“Firstly, I want you to schedule for Sans to see me tomorrow for two sessions. I'll free up a third just in case, but I want to get to the bottom of everything especially with how Sans is feeling right now. So, I will allow Sans to return home with you but he is not allowed to be left alone. Secondly, no more allowing Sans to be locked away or hide. Sans, this is also for you too. If you feel overwhelmed or upset, say so. You can't keep running from confrontation and you two can't allow him anymore. Thirdly, you and Papyrus need to get Sans involved more. I'm aware you are working and Papyrus is at school, but again, you two can't allow him to hide away. He is embarrassed about his actions and you two allowing him to hide away isn't helping him to overcome these problems but instead grow more disgusted with himself. Sans is craving attention and he wants to be accepted and loved now more than ever. He may flinch and act out from habits but it is not what he wants and truly thinks. Become involved, be around him, hug him, comfort him, socialize with him, treat him normally because that's what he wants. If he acts out, tell him it's okay and move on, don't dance around it or keep the topic going just move on. The more he sees you two accepting him and ignoring these habits, the likelier he is to overcome them. Is that right Sans?”

 “Yeah,” he mumbled weakly.

“Sans has told us all he thinks you two view him as lowly as he views himself. He thinks you two hate him, are disgusted by him, and find his mannerisms to be grotesque and incurable. Allowing him to lock himself away in his bedroom alone, makes these thoughts fester inside him. Your guys' presence helps him stabilize himself and his hallucinations. With those gone, he can think more clearly and rationally, but the moment you show him pity or any sort of overbearing expression this instability returns. If you focus on those negative parts of himself that he hates, he will to.” Foli glanced at the clock, knowing her time was up. “I'm hoping tomorrows session will shed more light onto the more deeply rooted causes of these mannerism and actions as well as help you all understand what is wrong and how we can fix it. I also would like to work with Sans more on coping and handling himself in his moments of embarrassment and panic. I apologize for loosing track of time, there is really so much more I wanted to talk about but it will have to wait. Do you have any questions at all about any of this.”

“No, thank you.” The flame stated.

“I'm happy to help. And Sans,” the skeleton pulled away enough to peek out at his therapist, “no more being alone, alright? Until tomorrow, I want you to always be around someone okay? Let your family help you, because they want to.” Feeling his guardian's and brother's arms wrap around him he nodded.

“O-Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, wasn't this a bitch. This chapter sucked, ha. I wrote 2-3 pages of Sans panicking then scrapped it because he wasn't as nervous as I wanted. Then, I rewrote 18 pages of Sans becoming suicidal, like more so than here, it was bad. But then it went so off road that I scrapped it (kinda still kept bits but fixed them). And now, we are here. 18 more pages of promising ups but still many downs. Jeez, this was a trip and a half.
> 
> Health is fine, to those who were worried. Sadly my medication has been lowered making my ADD more of an issue than I'd like for it to be, but hopefully with time I can maybe get it bumped back up. That or learn how to cope with it and that sucks. I'm confident now with this cross road of a chapter out I can finally start knocking the other's out as well. After this the pieces just start coming together and can easily be lead and directed. *Deep sigh* I'm ready. 
> 
> Thank you all for the support and patience, you are amazing.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	38. Limit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Hannah for looking this chapter over for me!

Grillby squirmed as he felt a force nudge his arm. He tried to ignore it, rolling onto his side and pulling the covers over him more but the nudging progressed. Cracking his eyes open, Grillby glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost four in the morning. Turning his head, he glanced behind him to see Sans' two white dots of light watching him. His arm was extended, ready to nudge his guardian once more before noticing he was awake. The limb fell on his lap as the flame sat up and ran a hand down his face.

“What's up?” Grillby croaked out, stifling a yawn and he rubbed at his eyes, trying to will the sleep away.

“Foli told me to not be alone.” The skeleton answered. He honestly wasn't alone being surrounded by his father and brother, but he understood what she had meant. Sans wasn't supposed to be without someone watching him. With both his family member asleep, no one was there to stop him from doing something he'd regret.

“Something wrong? How long have you been up?” The element questioned, stealing a glance at his youngest who was still asleep.

After returning home from therapy a few days ago, the small family of three spent some quiet time watch television. It had been slightly awkward and mildly uncomfortable at times, but everyone tried their best to be and act normal. Sans had a few slip ups and would always step away, his entire body flinching as if he was ready to run upstairs but he didn't. Instead, he'd step away from the two and curl up, mumbling an apology. Papyrus and Grillby would then bring him back over to them, tell him it was okay, and resume watching the television. Sans would remain tense for a while, but eventually uncurled himself. His hands would gently slide over to his family's, curling one finger ever so faintly around it as if asking permission. They both responded by squeezing the hand back and nuzzling closer. Getting the sight of conformation, Sans would latch on and wedge himself as far as he physically could between them. It was comforting for Grillby and Papyrus both to have Sans act so affectionally. Although they did wish he didn't feel so nervous about touching either of them, they knew that this habit could be looked over and worked through like all the others.

As a few more days past, the behavior remained the same. Sans was struggling to overcome a lot of his mental barriers. Without proper medication to aid his illness, he often failed to listen to reason. The skeleton did try his best to and often did listen to Foli's instructions and different methods to help cope but they didn't seem to work. Sans would spend far too much time debating about the consequences of simple tasks or questions, constantly thinking of himself as a bother or annoyance. Most of the time his voices didn't even play a part in this thinking. Although they did linger and taunt him, it was often just Sans' own mind that made him act so cowardly. All those years of abuse and neglect were back to haunt him and the skeleton thought himself to be as disgusting and small as he had once been under Gaster's watch.

When he spoke it was always in a small voice, sometimes breaking off or pausing to rethink his words to ensure they weren't too offensive or annoying. Similarly, his touches were just as gentle and soft. Papyrus would always throw himself at people, grabbing onto hands and latching onto legs or torsos for hugs. Sans, however, barely touched someone and was so soft about it, Grillby didn't even feel it half of the time. He'd have to look down at his pant leg or hand to see Sans standing close, index fingers hooked ever so gently around the fabric or limb, wary pupils darting up to ensure it was okay. It was heartbreaking to see at times, but of all the habits this was the easier to handle. The physical connection was the most understood and simplest to offer. The smile was always genuine. Both Papyrus and Grillby wanted to ensure Sans knew they were happy and delighted to hold his hand or give him a hug. The family has never been one to shy away from the affection of any kind, but with Sans' new found craving for it, there was hardly a time either member was left alone. They were always seen carrying or holding the hand of the elder skeleton.

Foli had told both of his family members of what Sans had said about his past and during the time span of a few sessions, all details and questions were covered and Sans no longer had a single secret left to his name. It was a blessing for Grillby, now knowing exactly the full story and no longer needing to avoid topics he was unsure of. It was easier for him to help Sans during small panic attacks, finally having the knowledge of why Sans was panicking or what could have set him off. A majority of the time it was Sans' own thoughts that triggered these moderately frequent attacks, but compared to his more severe episodes, these were a piece of cake to deal with.

Grillby was also thankful to know what had happened the day the boys left. Although Papyrus had seemed not to be too hung up on it, even after being told, it had felt as though a hole in his child's life had finally been filled in. It also made him extremely curious and interested to see what Asgore had found. Foli and Kawa were both to report to the king of any information that regarded this unknown lab or anything that could prove to be a danger to their small society. However, with still very little known that didn't breach the doctors' confidentiality agreements, the flame knew Asgore was most likely still very much so in the dark. Without the ability to read Wing Ding or any clue at all to what anything in that lab could hold or mean, Grillby wanted to visit the king just to lend a hand. But he needed to wait sadly, and the flame had told the king that himself. As always, he was very understanding and accepting. He insisted Grillby take care of his family first and with Sans still unstable, he wouldn't dream to ask the flame to take time away from his children who needed him.

Sans mood had yet to really improve and his instability was the same as it had always been as of late. Sans could agree it had become easier to talk to Papyrus and Grillby, but only because he no longer had a barrier between them. Due to Sans' lack of mood improvement, he was not allowed to be left alone still. Sans always felt a little uncomfortable talking about suicide or if he had any thoughts about it. Nothing else had occurred since that day but Foli still requested he sticks to his family. Sans did not mind it too much, but on nights like this where he had to go wake someone up because he could not sleep, he did feel bad.

Grillby had suggested they all sleep together for a short time. Grillby had his own concerns with Sans waking up and not wanting to bother either of them, so the flame offered they all share a bed for a bit. Most of the time he allowed Sans and Papyrus to build forts and tire themselves out or would read to them until they were fast asleep. Sans had woken up on numerous occasions when Grillby was moving them to the top of the bed and offered his guardian a smile, thankful he was able to know what he wanted without having to voice it.

“Only twenty minutes of so. I just had a weird dream. I don't remember what it was about, it just...felt weird.” Sans mumbled, clutching at where his soul was. He truthfully didn't recall his dream at all but just recalled being jolted away by a disturbing feeling. The skeleton had scanned the entire room, thankful for Grillby's eternal light that cast all shadows away. The room was empty, but Sans' soul still felt panicked and uncomfortable.

“There was an old story I always heard about that.” Grillby voiced and Sans looked up at him. “I guess more of a legend or folklore? Kinda like how you hear that thunder is just Asgore stubbing his toe?”

“That doesn't make sense,” Sans stated and Grillby snorted.

“Yeah, but it's supposed to help you not be so afraid of it.” The skeleton still looked confused and the flame waved it off. “So anyways, a lot of monsters were really scared and broken after the war, and night terrors were a common thing. A lot of us would wake up without really remembering what happened but our souls would be going nuts. The nurses would always tell these silly stories like the Asgore one but it didn't help me too much. I found it difficult to latch onto the idea of fairy tales or legends since I wasn't a kid anymore. Flint was the same way when he had trouble sleeping as well. Our mom and dad both died in the war, and when our dad died Flint couldn't sleep very well. So our mom always told him it was just his soul reminding him he was alive and that it wasn't ready to fall down yet. And when our mom died and I went to war, he'd always remember what she said and it helped him sleep. So when I started losing sleep, Flint always use to tell me that it was just my soul panicking because I was too inactive and it thought I was falling down. It would start racing and beating trying to wake us up because it was scared we were going to turn to dust when it wasn't ready to. Flint would always sit by me and just remind me that my soul is just letting me know it's not ready to give up and that it was telling me to not give up too.” Grillby's hand rested over his stable soul. He glanced over at his son who was staring down at his lap with a blank expression. “Yours is just doing the same. Letting you know it's not ready to fall and still has a lot left in it.”

“That too doesn't make sense,” Sans said, hand coming up to grip the front of his shirt. “But, it is comforting.” A faint smile danced across his features before he released his shirt and looked up at his guardian, “I just wish it wasn't such a hindrance, though. I just want to sleep but can't.”

“I kinda said the same thing, funny enough. Then Flint would say some monster just keep sleeping and sometimes don't wake back up and your soul doesn't want to take that risk.” Sans frowned, pupils bright and shrunken for a moment of fear before returning to normal. He curled up into a tight ball, back pressed against the headboard and head resting against his knees.

“...I'm sorry for waking you up.”

“It's fine,” The flame answered positionally himself more comfortably, knowing he'd be awake for a while. “Rather be awake with you than have you be up alone.”

“D...Do you miss your parents?” Grillby inhaled deeply and let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, at times. I tend not to think about it too much. Monsters live for a long time, elementals live longer than most but not as long as boss monsters. I've had plenty of time to mourn and heal, but you can't really stop missing someone. You just learn to remember who they were and what they did. And as time goes by, instead of crying about them you just smile as you remember them. My dad was a bit of a stick in the mud like Flint. But my mom was nice, bet you two would have liked her. Her top priority was her family. She didn't seem like the friendliest of faces, but fire elements are always told they can be kind of intimidating. She would have spoiled you two rotten and beaten me when she found out I didn't tell her about you guys.” The flame reminisced and Sans watched his distant but gentle expression.

“Do you think you would still be here if they didn't die? Would you be the same as you are now?”

“Probably not,” the guardian answered honestly. “Even if I still moved out here and got the bar, I wouldn't be the same. Because of everything that happened I did change. I'd say for the better. I gained a lot of experience and dealt with a lot of demons that I wouldn't have had to ever deal with if they were still alive. I wouldn't know what to do with you two or how to even go about trying to raise you let alone help you. I'd like to say I would have made the same choices I did, but I'm not sure. In both situations I'm the most unqualified monster there is when it comes to raising children. But in one situation I'm unaware of how valuable trust is and how you can't just expect someone to get better because everything seems to be okay. At least because of everything that has happened I can try to help you or your brother and I'm able to grasp onto at least a portion of what you are going through. But, I'm happy with where I am now. I'm happy with you two and with who I am and that's all that matters.” The skeleton just nodded and the two were silent. Grillby attempted to think of a conversation that wasn't redundant but with his sleepy state and comfy bed, the only thing that came to mind was rest. Looking back over at his son, who seemed to be lost in thought, the element pushed away from the headboard.

“Want a snack?” He asked, earning his child's attention.

“It's not meal time,” Sans stated, brow bone furrowed. There were times to eat, the food was regulated. Everything was planned out, time to eat, a time to sleep, a time to work. Gaster was never late. Even though Sans didn't have a clock or understand the concept of time, he picked up Gaster's schedule very quickly and adapted to it.

“Meal time is whenever you want it to be. You eat when you're hungry.” Grillby told the older brother with a shrug.

“No, that's not-” Sans stopped himself. No, Grillby was right. Sans didn't live off a schedule anymore. He didn't sit around and wait for things to pan out like he knew they would. Room, food, Gaster, room. That was all his day was and all it ever would it if he had remained that is. But Sans was no longer there, and the schedule no longer mattered. If he was hungry, he ate. If he was tired, he napped. Sans had just forgotten and instead went with what he knew to be certain instead of what he had forgotten was right. Realizing his error, Sans turned away, sockets closing as he mumbled out an apology.

Grillby's natural instinct was to coddle his child, grab him, hold him, and tell him it was okay. However, Foli's words ran through his mind and he repressed that urge. Instead, he pushed past Sans' slip up and focused on his original intent.

“Hey,” the flame called, nudging his child. Sans flinched slightly but peered up at him. “You hungry?” Sans watched his guardian, trying to search for that pitiful expression that would make his misery grow. However, nothing was there to ward him off. Trying to remain as neutrally expressive as possible, Sans nodded.

“Yeah,” he answered honestly. Normally his depressive moods often made food sound repulsive or just ruined his appetite in general. But waking up and having a few minutes to think and calm down helped wash away some of the more hunger stopping emotions he felt.

“Come on,” Grillby offered his hand and Sans winced. He cringed at his reaction, his small desire to eat fading quickly. The flame remained determined. “Kiddo, relax. It's okay,” the guardian reassured. “Let's go get some hot chocolate.” The skeleton still very much so hated his reactions and what it made him look like, but with Grillby reacting so undisturbed and supportive...it was so comforting.

Sans cautiously reached out and gripped onto the element's fingers weakly. The bartender waited for Sans to move, shuffling on his knees to get to the edge of the bed before hopping off. Keeping his grip reassure yet mindful, Grillby slowed his pace to keep his son by his side. The skeleton wasn't walking as distant as he had before but he still lagged a step or so behind. Knowing Sans' usual discomfort in his pace, the flame made a small game out of the short walk. He'd take one massive leap forward and stop, allowing Sans to quickly walk after him their hands still connected. Sans appeared confused at first, pausing as well and even slowing down. But the playful looked his guardian shot him informed him it was nothing to fear. Grillby' continued to take overly dramatic steps and Sans eventually smiled, pace picking up to be his guardian. As they got closer to the kitchen, Sans trotted behind in a very adorable manner occasionally taking a jump to chase after the bartender. He'd let out a small giggle when Grillby mistook his step and almost fell over, but the flame would gladly take a slip up over his child's happiness.

Once in the kitchen, Grillby picked Sans up and placed him on the counter. He snagged a leftover cinnamon bunny and cupped it in his hands to get it warm. He gave it to his son with a napkin before pulling out two mugs and taking a bite of his own sugary snack.

“You want regular or dark?” The flame asked, pulling out two bars of chocolate.

“Regular,” The skeleton replied with a mouth full of food.

“Psh, you're loss,” Grillby mumbled placing half the bar of milk chocolate in his palm and crushing it over the mug watching it drip into the cup below.

“Dark is bitter,” Sans stated, face scrunching up.

“Well yeah, but not when you add stuff to it.” The flame commented, pouring the milk with one hand while his chocolate covered one flashed bright red burning off the residue. He melted his own bar for his cup and repeated the process bringing them both over to Sans and setting them down beside him. “See right now, it's bitter.” He stated, quickly string the cups with practiced ease. “But, when you add some marshmallows, whipped cream, and cinnamon...” Grillby listed, added each ingredient as he stated them. “It balances out,” he finished displaying his perfectly crafted cup of hot chocolate. “Try it.” The flame held out the cup for his son who took it into his hands. He took a small sip after looking it over and shrugged, a hint of a smile on his face.

“Still bitter.” He said and the element scoffed taking the cup away to replace it with the other one.

“You're too young. Your taste hasn't been refined to appreciate the stronger things.”

“Bonnie hates it too.”

“Bonnie ate an entire head of lettuce yesterday in my bar. Her opinion doesn't count.” Sans let out a soft chuckle, sipping at his mug. The two fell into a comfortable silence, enjoying the company of one another as they sipped away at their beverages.

Halfway through his, Sans stared into the brown liquid watching his rippling, distorted reflection. Although he was enjoying the silence, he felt compelled to say something but was unsure as to what he should be saying. He didn't feel like forcing a conversation or having to react to one either. Was conversation always forced between them? Sans knew there was a time just months ago where he'd be able to talk to Grillby about anything. Now, he could barely even look at him at times. He missed their bond and their friendship. He wanted to have it, but his anxiety sparked at the thought of opening his mouth. Now, he feared he'd lose it forever. Maybe he'd never have that friendship ever again. The thought depressed Sans.

Grillby glanced over at his child, taking in his darkened pupils, slouched posture, and a deep frown. His own sorrowful expression formed. Sans always so easily slipped between happiness and depression. It was taxing at times when hours of work getting his child to smile were ruined by a simple thought or action. Grillby would try so hard to ensure he was comfortable and that the flame said nothing that could offend or set his child off. However, that hardly did anything because the issue was never with Grillby or Papyrus, but with Sans himself.

Sans' mind had no filter and he was unable to tell what was truly right and what was wrong. The skeleton had stated numerous times that he was aware of what he was thinking and knew it was wrong but just couldn't believe it. He felt the love his family gave him and knew his actions were never troublesome for them. Yet his first instinct around them was to cower or apologize for things he hadn't even done.

The thought of Sans thinking Grillby hated him in any way made the flame ill. Grillby knew just how powerful a mind could be when it was against you. But even with his own history, he could not begin to compare it to the burden Sans carried. It was a burden that the bartender worried about constantly, for it wasn't getting any lighter. At least in the past, Sans was able to bounce back relatively quickly from his episodes. There'd be a week or so of moody behavior but Sans would manage to find himself again and stand up to try again. It seemed now that Sans was struggling to even push himself back up. And with the thought of suicide on his mind, Grillby couldn't just sit back and let Sans work this out alone. The fact that his child had even thought of suicide terrified him. Grillby wondered if this was how his brother had felt hearing the news of his younger brother's actions. He supposed it might be worse, Flint had found out after Grillby had attempted. At least the bartender had a chance to spare his child the horror of suicide. He only wished he was confident enough in his parental abilities to prevent it from happening. He had failed so far, he didn't think he had a chance to do it again. Grillby did try to do all he could, but perhaps he was missing something that would make this whole thing easier. Maybe his experience wasn't enough to raise Sans and Papyrus correctly. Hell, given their current situation, Grillby thought that alone was enough to dub him as an unfit parent.

“P…P-Pap-um...” Sans spoke up, his finger digging into the mug in his grasp. Grillby snapped out of his daze, his low and dark flame shooting up and illuminating almost as normal. The skeletons skull was cast down, pupils wavering but bright. “D-Did Pap talk...to you at all-um, about the...the-uh, bullying?”

“A bit, yeah. Why?” While Sans had been asleep napping, Grillby questioned his youngest about the bullying problem he was having. Papyrus continued to be as determined as ever to avoid the topic. He'd try to change it and when that failed he'd be as vague as possible. There had been a few cases where Grillby got information out of his child, but that was only when he was two seconds away from marching into the school and telling the principal about this issue. Papyrus was adamant on keeping Grillby from entering the school. He'd constantly reassure his guardian that everything was fine and that he was okay but Grillby wasn't a fool. When lost in thought Papyrus would look so miserable, and there were multiple times that Grillby caught a glance at his son's school work to find it partially destroyed. While Bonnie watched Sans one day, the flame had gone down to talk to the school about this but there was little they could do without knowing the harassers or seeing them bully Papyrus. The principal did, however, promise Grillby he'd have the teachers and aids pay more attention to Papyrus. He offered the idea of the skeleton talking to the school counselor but when the flame brought it up to his son, he declined. Grillby coaxed him into going to one meeting, but after Papyrus returned home with a soggy backpack he refused to talk to any member of the school again and even ignored Grillby for an hour. The flame was about ready to take Papyrus out of the school himself and find him another alternative source to get his education, but much like everything else he suggested, Papyrus refused. Grillby still kept to the idea and had asked Bonnie to look into homeschooling his child and even debated the elementary school in the Waterfalls. Although it was painstakingly frustrating how stubborn Papyrus was being about keeping Grillby out of his bullying issue, the element refused to stand by and let another one of his children suffer.

“H-He-um, he didn't keep his promise,” Sans stated, attempting a smile that seemed far too forced to be convincing. “Papyrus promised me he'd talk to you about the bullying issue if I talked to Foli. Guess he forgot.”

“He's…very adamant on not letting me help for one reason or another,” Grillby mumbled, running a hand down his face. “I just am a bit unsure of what to do. He won't leave the school. He won't let me help. He won't talk to anyone about it. Every time I try to lend a hand he refuses to take it and I just don't know why.” The element couldn't ignore this issue. He always tried to listen to his children but this request was one he just couldn't do. His child was miserable and standing by idling wasn't a choice, no matter how much Papyrus wanted him to.

“Um, we can-uh, talk to him about it tomorrow? You and me?” The skeleton offered and the flame nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied dully. He stared blankly at the floor before forcing his depressive behavior aside. Perhaps Sans could do what he failed to. “Hey, why don't we do something tomorrow? After your therapy, we can take Papyrus out of school early and we can all go somewhere?”

“Sure,” Sans stated with a more convincing smile. Grillby tried to return one as well, but they both were clearly struggling to keep the expression. Instead, they turned to their drinks, deep frowns on each other's features.

Grillby wanted to kick himself for casting such a sorrowful expression upon his child's face. He shouldn't be moping he should be helping. He shouldn't be sitting here wallowing in self-pity but making his son feel better and open up. He shouldn't be acting like such a horrible father but he couldn't stop. Bonnie had tried on multiple occasions to get Grillby to lighten up but failed. She insisted she watches over the kids so he could go talk to Flurry but the bartender was more than reluctant to let either of his children out of his sight if it wasn't absolutely necessary. And to him, his health did not take priority. He was fine. He just-...He wasn't sure what he needed.

Sans continued glancing up at his guardian nervously. His lost and mournful look disturbed the skeleton, causing his mind to stir. Fingers began pointing at him in his mind and his self-worth shrunk. He desperately tried to figure out what he had done wrong to cause this but couldn't come up with anything. He tried thinking of a conversation but nothing came. Frantically searching for a solution, Sans only found his options were to leave. He set his mug in the sink and hopped off the counter.

“Um, Pap will wake up soon and, um...yeah...” He glanced at the kitchen entrance, shuffling over slightly. The element clutched his mug and inhaled deeply before dropping it into the sink as well. He'd hate himself for not soaking them later when he was scrubbing off the hardened chocolate but for now, he didn't care.

“Sans, wait I-” Grillby sighed, hanging his head as he gripped onto the sink. Sans grabbed his own arm, squeezing it tightly as his frightened eyes watched his guardian, soul beating. The flame turned to face him, body tall and Sans shrunk, the lights of his eyes shrinking to pinpricks.

“I'm sorry.” They both blurted at the same time. Grillby paused and Sans hands flew up to his mouth.

“Wha-”

“I'm sorry!” Sans blurted again, taking a step back.

“Wha-Sans, no don't-” Grillby inched forward and the skeleton flinched away. The flame clenched his fist by his side, aggravated by himself. “Okay, stop. Sans, don't apologize. You should have to-” Grillby noticed his child's frightened and defensive position and stopped. Everything he did just made matters worse. The flame just lets out a deep sigh and sank to the ground. Sans remained distant, clinging to his nightshirt. “Can you come here, please?” The bartender asked weakly and the skeleton seemed apprehensive.

“I'm sorry, I-”

“Sans please.” Grillby silenced him, running a hand through his flamed head. “Can you please just come here? I'm not angry at you. I'm not angry at all. You don't need to be afraid or apologize, just...” He trailed off as the child inched closer, sitting on the floor a foot away.

“...I-I'm-”

“Nothing is your fault,” Grillby stressed eyes on his son's. “You don't have to apologize, you shouldn't ever have to apologize. Nothing about this situation in any form is your fault. I'm not upset because of you. I'm not angry because of what you did. I'm not hurt because of your actions or words. Nothing, Sans, is your fault. Do not apologize, please.” The skeleton nodded, pupils dancing around the room whenever he looked away from his guardian. “I'm just upset with myself, that's all.” Once again, the child nodded, intently staring at his feet that rubbed together. “But I shouldn't be thinking about this, huh?” The flame stated, forcing a sad smile. “Feels kinda selfish to think about myself when the ones I care about are troubled.” Sans glanced up at him, teeth clicking together.

“You can't...push aside your feelings for others.” He said and Grillby lets out a soft huff.

“Yes, guess all three of us need to work on that, huh?” Sans clamped down on his lower jaw, taking in a silent breath as he wrung his hands together.

“...Do we make your life harder?” Sans asked, swallowing a thick lump in his throat. “D-Do we-...Have-Have I made everyone's lives wor-”

“Stop.” Sans' sockets closed, fingers digging into his humerus. “No, you have never and will never make anyone's life harder or worse. You and Papyrus do not negatively affect anyone's life.” Grillby nudged his child's shoulder trying to get his attention. Fortunately, it succeeded. “Talk to me, kiddo. What's on your mind?”

“You look so un-unhappy.” Sans whimpered, unintentionally shaking under his guardian's touch. “I-I just-...M-Maybe you, I-I think, would be-um...would be happier without us...sometimes. I-I bother-er you and cause you st-stress and I'm-I'm more trouble than I'm worth. I just f-feel like I ruin-”

“You-Sans.” Grillby rested his head in his hands, pausing for only a moment. “Kid, are you really that unaware of how much you have impacted my life? You, just you alone, not Papyrus, have done so much for me. My life would be so boring and repetitive without either of you there. It was the same thing Sans, work then bed over and over and over. And I would have been blindly unaware of how dull that life really is without you two there to show me what a family could be like. Without you, I probably would have never been able to even be on speaking terms with my brother. Because of you, I had to finally stand up and no longer tolerate his behavior because it upset you so much. And because of that, I was able to rekindle the bond that had broken between my family. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to grow as a person. I wouldn't know what it felt like to have a house like this or how rewarding it could be to bring a smile to your face when you are having a bad day. I wouldn't have anyone here to kinda relate to or even attempt to help and understand. You've made me a better monster, Sans. You've helped me cheer up when I was feeling down. You've tested my cooking skills to the max with your weird obsession with hot dogs. You've shown me how important family is and how determined I really am to protecting that family. I haven't been more terrified than the day you just vanished with Papyrus. I was scared out of my mind, unsure of where you had gone or if I would be able to make it to you in time before something horrible happened. You've helped me realized my own self-worth and it baffles me every day why either of you two chooses to stay or think of me as any sort of fatherly figure. But you do, so even though I may not think it I'm clearly doing something right and I know that because of you.”

“You are a great dad!” Sans proclaimed and Grillby lets out a small, dry laugh.

“And you're a great kid, but it's not always easy to see that, huh?” The skeleton gave his guardian a troubled look. “Everyone gets down days, Sans. I think Papyrus is proof not everyone can be a positive ball of sunshine forever. Everyone has doubts and everyone has fears, you, me, Bonnie. It's just what happens. The only thing we can do is make sure we are there for each other and when the mood passes, we take those offered hands and stand back up. You know we are there for you and I know you two are always there for me. But it's sometimes easier to wallow for a few hours than force yourself to rise.”

“I want you to rise. I think you're a great dad. You are the best dad.” Grillby rubbed the back of Sans' skull.

“I know, Sans. I'm glad you think so. I care about you two a lot and it's nice to know you both feel the same.” The child clicked his teeth together, mouth opening before shutting. He did this for a few moments before finally taking a shaky inhale and speaking.

“Do-” the skeleton stopped, making a small noise of pain before continuing. “Do you care...about us because you took us in?” The element didn't respond, seeming confused by the question. “I mean, like, do you...would you care if we were taken in by someone else? Would you have even noticed?” The flame sat up, face morphed into a look of the offense.

“Of course, I would still care. Everyone in this town did I'm no exception. Whether you were in my custody or not doesn't change that. I'd still notice you two and be able to see your progression and see how much you change as time goes. Just because you wouldn't be in my care doesn't mean you wouldn't be in my thoughts.”

“And you think that others feel the same way?”

“Judging by how many questions I get from you two, yeah. Monsters care in this town, not all of them show it, but they do care.” Sans sat on the ground, head resting on his knees.

“Yeah.”

“But again, it can be hard to notice it,” Grillby added, staring up at the ceiling. “Even if they tell you every day that they care or that they aren't bothered by you, you still can't really believe it.” His gaze fell to his son who watched him offering him a slight smile before he returned his watch to the ceiling. “It took me a while to notice. Some may argue too long and by a poor method as well. But when you find yourself in such a depressive state,” he paused eyes closing, “you really can't help but feel like no one cares or that you are doing them a favor by disappearing.”

“But you aren't?”

“Not in the slightest.” Opening his eyes once more, Grillby rested his head against the cabinet behind him. “And it shouldn't take a room full of monsters worried you died to tell you that either. But hey, here we-or rather, I am, right? Three failed attempts later and all of Snowdin crammed into my hospital room it finally sunk in.” Grillby's expression fell, his flamed body swaying gently as it dimmed in color. “I just hope you realize it too before you even try to-” a force clung onto his arm and Grillby jumped. He peered down to find Sans watched him, tears falling down his bony cheeks.

“I don't mean to be. I don't want to be. I don't want to.” Sans whispered and his guardian wrapped his arm around his middle, lifting him into his lap.

“I know, Sans,” Grillby reassured his child, gently nuzzling the top of his skull. “You want to get better, that's all that matters.”

“I do,” the skeleton confirmed. “I-I'm just scared, b-but I shouldn't be.”

“We should all feel something, Sans. It doesn't mean we do, though. You feel what you feel. The only thing that matters is whether or not you let those feelings get the best of you or if you let them consume you. A fly is always going to fear a spider, but that doesn't stop some bug folk from strolling past Muffet's den.” Sans sniffed, pulling away from the guardian to stare at him in confusion.

“Who's Muffet?” Grillby snorted.

“She runs the spider bake sale.”

“There's a spider bake sale?”

“Surprised you haven't heard of it. Fiora always told me that kids at school would always joke about Muffet using kids in her baked goods.” Sans' socket's widened as his body tensed.

“Does she?!”

“No, she's harmless. Seen her a few times around Hotland, her treats aren't half bad. Majorly overpriced, though,” Grillby finished. Sans looked over at the front door, small frown etching onto his face.

“I thought I knew all about the Underground before. Papyrus and I went everywhere and I didn't think there was a place I wasn't familiar with but there still is. Everyone always comments on how small the Underground is, but to me, it's almost too big. Everyone talks about the surface and the sun and the stars, but I'm still exploring Snowdin. I didn't know about Muffet, or the deeper cavern of the Waterfalls, or the open clearing in the Snowdin Forest. Everyone dreams of a bigger world and freedom, but I already have that.” Sans said and his guardian hummed.

“People often dream of what they don't have. There's only a handful of monsters who are even aware of what the surface really looks like. And even then, it's been so long who knows what's up there now. Guess that's why you always hear people talk about the stars or the sun. The things we don't have and maybe never will. A sky, the moon, to not be limited to the caverns of this mountain. There's only so much to explore down here, and once you've done it you've done it. It can feel very claustrophobic. They feel just like you had.” Grillby stated, looking over his child. “Trapped in one place for too long, knowing there's more out there but never knowing if they'll ever see it. You're lucky enough to have gotten to see it. The rest of us are still waiting.” Sans frowned, hand extending to tug at his guardian's shirt.

“Do you miss the surface?” Grillby thought over his answer for a while before finally nodding.

“Yeah, I do. As one of the few monsters who remembers what it actually looks like...well, it's hard to explain I guess. Looking at it as a child or teen, nothing was new. My memories are from a point in my life where I never expected them to mean anything. I recall the night sky just as it always was, nothing special. It's odd now looking back because I remember feeling how I always had, but also how I feel now. I suppose I'm more curious as to see if it matches what I remember. If I'll stare at the stars and moon and forget how bright and luminous they were or if they'll just seem like dots in the sky. I wonder if I'll act like everything is brand new or just see the same old world and just shrug it off. But also, I guess I'm afraid of what might happen if the barrier is torn down. Last time we saw humans we were at war. They are stronger than us in a lot of ways. What if the barrier comes down and they come in and kill everyone? Most monsters don't have to worry about humans. All they know about them is what stories say. Kids fear them, adults are wary, some just don't care. You can assume and think all you want about the unknown, but until you see it for yourself you don't really know how you'll react. But, I guess you can relate to that as well. You had no idea what to expect outside the labs. You took what you knew and thought that was all it was. You thought everyone was Gaster and that everything had a price and everyone wanted to hurt you. Then, you realized it wasn't like that at all.” The element finished and Sans fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Are you afraid of humans?”

“Not...afraid,” the element stated. “Well, at least not in the sense of them hurting me. I don't fear a human might dust me because I have a bit of a natural advantage.” Grillby lifted his hand, watched the sparks of his flame fly out and swirl around his eternally burning body. “Humans are really weak on the outside. Hell, I recall as a kid burning one's hand just by touching them. Most monsters down here aren't as fleshy as humans are, but they aren't a threat either. Without my magic, I could harm one and that worries me. I suppose that's why I'm not exactly the most eager to leave. I don't enjoy being a walking hazard. I never have to worry about that down here because monsters are more tolerate than humans.” The flame placed his hand on Sans' skull, the skeleton glanced up at it feeling its warmth. “It's a weird feeling knowing that this alone could set a human on fire and kill them. Humans are...” the hand slid off falling onto the bartender's lap, his eyes distant. “Humans get really hurt by fire. Really, really hurt,” the element trailed off and the child noted his guardian's pained expression and mirrored the look.

“Are humans really as bad as people say they are?” Grillby shook off the look.

“Some are, Monsters are nice. Monsters aren't scientifically made of kindness and love but there isn't a monster alive who wouldn't use their voice instead of a weapon. I can't say the same for humans.”

“If a human were to fall down, would you be afraid of it?” Sans wondered and his guardian inhaled sharply.

“I'd fear the destruction it could cause more than the human itself.” He admitted apprehensively. The skeleton decided to drop the topic, choosing a different one instead.

“What do you miss most about the Overworld?”

“Probably the seasons. We don't get any down here. It's always snowing in Snowdin and it's always hot in Hotland. No rain, no winter, no fall. We say we have them, and some stuff does happen, but not like above.” Grillby faced his child, nudging his ribs. “What do you enjoy most about the Underground?” Sans thought it over, recalling everything outside the labs that ever gave him happiness and could easily think of one.

“This,” Sans glanced around the home, his home. “You, Papyrus, this house. This home, a home with a family. Two things I didn't know existed and never thought I'd ever have. But now, the thought of having either taken away terrifies me more than going back to the labs.” Sans' grasp tightened around Grillby's shirt. The flame cupped his child's shaking hands and earned his attention.

“You aren't going to ever lose either of those things.” The bartender told the skeleton who watched him with sunken eyes. Sans was going to open his mouth to speak but halted when he heard footsteps upstairs.

“Sans?” Papyrus called out as he made his way down the stairs. “Dad?”

“Kitchen,” Grillby replied and the little skeleton poked his head into the room.

“It's early, why are you two up?” He asked, clearly not fully awake himself.

“Couldn't sleep,” Sans answered with half a smile.

“Is everything okay?” Papyrus questioned, glancing between the two.

“Everything is fine. We were just talking and didn't want to disturb you.” Grillby answered and Papyrus stepped into the room.

“Why are you on the floor?” The bartender lifted one arm, shifting Sans over to the other.

“Care to join us?” Papyrus let out a small laugh, shaking his head.

“I'd rather be in bed than on the floor.” He admitted but still sat down and leaned close to his guardian. “Did Sans have a bad dream?” The younger brother wondered.

“Yeah, but it's fine now. You have one too?” Papyrus shrugged, extending an arm to latch onto one of his brother's hands.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Um...No, it's fine. Just stuff,” he mumbled and Sans squeezed his sibling's hand.

“Promise,” the skeleton muttered and Papyrus tensed up. He looked away, visibly uncomfortable with the remembrance of his promise he vowed to keep.

“We can discuss that tomorrow,” Grillby told his children, lifting himself and his kids up from the ground. “For now, let's try to get a few more hours of sleep. I don't want you both exhausted tomorrow. We can talk about this in the morning, alright?” Sans nodded and Papyrus just sighed under his breath.

“Okay.”

Papyrus, however, did not utter a word of the promise that morning but instead promised to do so after school. They both were reluctant to agree, not wanting the small skeleton to go to school if he was being bullied as badly as they fear, but Papyrus' optimism and confidence deterred them away from the subject. Papyrus knew they only wanted to help, but the thought of his family stressing over an issue he could handle alone made Papyrus feel like a burden. The bullying was bad, but not compared to his brother's situation. Papyrus could handle a few bullies for a while.

Or, at least he thought he could. Standing outside his teacher's door and realizing she wasn't in today made Papyrus loose confidence fast. Due to his teacher's absence, Papyrus had no choice but to spend the remaining morning outside with the rest of the children. With a deep breath and audible swallow, Papyrus pushed open the school door and quickly made his way over to the edge of the playground. He clung to the wall closed to the door, head down and sitting alone on the bench outside.

Despite his desperate attempts to go unnoticed, within seconds, he was spotted. His jacket was yanked back and he let out a yelp as he felt cold snow be dropped down his collar. He shot up and frantically shook out his jacket, removing the snow. Cackling was heard behind the bench and Papyrus glanced up to find Ryan, Mich, and Gek laughing at him.

“Hey Papyrus,” Ryan grinned, leaning on the bench. “Surprised you're here. You always go hide in the classroom before we even get to say hello.” Papyrus didn't respond. “Guess Miss Lumie isn't here to save you today. You know what that means, tattletale?” The skeleton let out a grunt as he was roughly shoved by the mouse monster and fell back in the snow. “Means you got no one to run and cry to, freak.” Ryan kicked at the ground sending a spray of snow in the skeleton's direction. The bell rang and Mich smirked, picking up Papyrus' backpack he left on the bench and dumped its content on the ground below and proceeded to stomp on it with his dirty boots.

“See you in class, Papyrus.” Ryan snickered and the three ran off, trampling over the skeleton's belongings as they did so. Papyrus clamped down on his bottom jaw, tears prickling at the corner of his sockets as he pushed himself up. He dusted off the snow that clung to him before attempting to clean off his soggy and stained school supplies, but most of it was ruined. Shoving it all into his bag, the skeleton lazily made his way to the classroom arriving late. The substitute didn't seem to care, though, just telling him to take his seat. Walking to his desk, Papyrus set his wet bag on the ground and took a seat. There was a note on his desk but he didn't bother to read it, already knowing it most likely was just insulting him. He just tossed it in his bag like everything else. The skeleton pulled out a folder containing his homework, but with one glance inside he knew it was destroyed. The paper was completely soaked from the snow and the dirt made the entire top half impossible to read. His head sunk down onto the desk and remained there until the teacher came by to collect his work.

“Work?” The substitute asked and Papyrus raised his head.

“I don't have it.” He stated and the woman frowned, marking something on her clipboard before moving on. Papyrus heard snickering behind him but ignored it.

The bullying was bad enough with Miss Lumie here, without her it was just unbearable. No one was there to stop the bullies and the substitute seemed completed blind to what was happening. When her back was turned, papers and any small item were launched at the skeleton. He was pelted by a slew of random items and Ryan, Mich, and Gek all made it their life goal to make his life miserable in any way possible. They'd all group around Papyrus, taking turns kicking at his desk or chair.

“Heard your brother snapped and lost his mind.” The lizard child whispered to Papyrus.

“Careful Gek, he might cry to his dad again and get the principal to come in and have another talk about bullying.” Mich voiced in a mocking tone.

“Grillby isn't even his real dad. I bet he doesn't even care about you. He probably took you two in out of pity. He probably regrets it now that he knows you two are psychopaths. I feel sorry for him. I bet your real parents probably tossed you two out as well.” Papyrus remained still and silent, every ounce of his strength going into not publicly crying in front of his entire class.

The day hadn't even started really and the harassment went on. Notes were chucked at him, whispered insults were passed around the room, and Papyrus even found his pencil stolen when he went up to solve an equation on the board. Gek, who sat behind him, constantly kept kicking the chair out from under him causing Papyrus to fall down and get laughed at by the entire class. It happened so often the sub thought he was doing it on purpose and sent him out in the hallway.

Not even two hours into the day and Papyrus was ready to start crying. When he was allowed back inside, he knew he would not be able to endure lunch or recess without his teacher to help him. He already found his lunch missing from his backpack when he reentered the classroom and after one last insult to his family was thrown at him and with a harsh kick to his chair, he crumbled. He quietly tore out a sheet of paper and folded it neatly before shoving the paper and a pen into his pocket.

“May I use the restroom?” Papyrus asked his substitute who just nodded, waving him off. His legs carried him swiftly to the bathroom, desperate for an escape from his bullies. Locking himself in the stall he unfolded the paper and pulled out the pen. He couldn't stay the rest of the day. Papyrus was desperate. He had to do something because staying here was a thought so horrific, tears automatically began to form.

With a deep breath, Papyrus flicked off the cap, steadied his hand and began to write. He didn't know if his plan would work but quite honestly, he didn't care. He tried. He tried so hard to be brave and to handle it by himself but he couldn't anymore. He didn't care how much trouble he'd get into. He didn't care about who found out or if someone caught him. All Papyrus cared about was leaving and if that meant forging a note home, so be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh, characters are hitting too close to home...But hey, at least it still flows. Heavy dialogue chapter, but communication is needed, right?
> 
> Thank you all for the comments!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	39. Enough

“Can we get some nice cream?” Sans asked, holding onto Grillby's hand as they walked down the semi-busy streets of Snowdin.

“After we pick up your brother.” The flame replied back, pausing to check the time to ensure their therapy session didn't run too late.

The session had been a rather eventful one but as of late every session had been. With all the secrets out, Foli now focused more on getting Sans to cope and work on his emotions and how to express them. Sans would spend a majority of the time speaking of every little thing he had felt in the time between their last meeting and the one currently. He'd say what caused the feeling to rise and what made it linger. He'd state how he felt and what helped make the feeling go away, but sadly there was often no answer for that. The skeleton seems very incapable of shutting off his own mind like he had in the past. Ignoring the voices or his feelings wasn't possible. Foli had stated she believed this happened because Sans no longer needed to feel like his strength was what would keep his brother and him alive. Sans felt comfortable and safe in his environment enough to no longer repress everything that rose, but instead let it overcome him. However comforting that was supposed to be for the flame, Grillby had felt very little.

Grillby had gotten very good at hiding his own emotions as and because of that, Sans felt more relaxed around him. Without his guardian's constant worry or concern, everything the skeleton didn't no longer felt like it was pitiful or disgusting. His family was supporting him and not treating him like some broken puppy, but like the skeletal monster he was. That had made Grillby feel more relieved than any of the other news he had heard in the past weeks. For once he was finally doing something right with Sans, and he had no plans to mess this up again.

Self-doubt and depressed lingered in the back of his mind still and more often than not he had to snap himself out of it before his flame dimmed and his cover was blown. Bonnie had already begun questioning him but Grillby continued to ensure her he was okay. He was just so tired of messing everything up with his children and now that he finally was getting at least one thing right he needed to cling onto it for dear life. His depressive mood would pass, it always did. Grillby didn't matter right now. His problems were his children's problems and once they were gone his own would be too. At least that's what he hoped for. And with Sans already showing signs of improvement, Grillby began to think less and less of his own emotional state devoting his time and energy to supporting him and his brother.

The confidence and support had Sans feeling stronger than he had been as of late. He was a lot less fidgety and could manage to hold a gaze longer than a few seconds when he talked to Grillby. He felt more capable of ignoring his insanity but of course, Sans still needed a lot of work. They all did truthfully, but at least he was getting better. The skeleton was still nervous and jumpy but after a few pointers from Foli he had a better understanding of how to cope with everything he was feeling.

Not everything was his fault. No one hated him. He wasn't annoying. Gaster wasn't coming back. And-

 _**“** _ _**Pathetic waste of-** _ _**”** _

And the voices _were not_ real.

Foli was still unsure of how to go about solving Sans' paranoia with Gaster. Although her talks with Sans had all sounded convincing, Sans still kept that fear of Gaster returning for him. She stated that a new antipsychotic medication would help, but due to the previous experience, it was a short term goal. Sans did say he was willing to try it in perhaps a week or two, but as for now it was too soon. Foli did say she would prefer Sans start it by the end of the week given how severe his hallucinations had been but understood where Sans was coming from. Sans said he'd try to, but made no promises.

Foli had privately told Grillby she did fear Sans hallucinating about Gaster again. It had been so severe last time, that if Sans were too see him again now, her chances of getting the skeleton to believe it was just a horrible side effect would be gone. Although Foli had believed it was extremely unlikely Sans would ever see a hallucination to that extreme as he was now, because of his worsening conditions in his mental health, it was a growing concern. She had simply ask Grillby to find some way to influence Sans into taking the medication sooner rather than later. At least once a stabilizing drug had been found, she could finally begin getting Sans the aid he needed to overcome this hurdle without his paranoia and fear.

By the end of the session, Sans felt more relieved than anything else. His over-exaggerated fears were being slowly pushed aside momentarily and it felt almost liberating to have a moment of mild clarity. He still felt immensely unstable and insecure, but at least now he didn't feel like dying every time he messed up. Instead, Sans just felt really, really disgusted, then ashamed, then depressed, then would need to remind himself it was okay and how to cope, before finally settling for extreme discomfort and a half fake, half awkwardly smile. They were to meet again in a few days and Sans was asked to repeat the same homework he had received for the past few sessions.

Now on their way to get Papyrus, Sans felt more openly expressive than he had before around his guardian. He occasionally found himself lagging behind a step but for the most part remained side by side with his guardian. Talking was still a struggle, but Sans soon discovered asking odd questions invoked conversation and found himself asking about anything or anyone that came to mind when he felt the air get too tense or quiet. Fortunately, that didn't happen too often. Grillby seemed to be in a brighter mood and it made Sans feel less guilty and need to please the flame. The silences no longer felt so horrible and instead of forcing a conversation, Sans would just remind himself that silences were fine and that he was okay.

He was okay.

Grillby held the door open for his son and the two entered the school. Grillby quietly led his child down the hall and to the front office. Opening the door, a short mouse monster poked her head up from behind the desk and smiled at the two.

“Can I help you today sir?” She questioned and Grillby nodded, glancing down at the sign out sheet below.

“I've come to sign Papyrus out of class today. He has a doctor's appointment.” The flame said with a genuine smile. The mouse looked surprised for a second before her features twisted downward.

“Papyrus had a note from you saying he was allowed to leave school two hours ago.” Sans' body tensed, hand gripping tightly onto his guardian. His gaze snapped up watching as Grillby face became void of all expression. For a brief moment, the flame was overcome with extreme panic and fear, and a single rush of indigo flashed through his flame. It remained so for a fraction of a second before he smiled.

“Oh, yes, I forgot.” The element forced out of a laugh and the woman seemed more relaxed. “Children, right? Keep track of one and lose the other. It slipped my mind that I gave him a note, ha. Sorry to bother you, have a good rest of your day.” Grillby fled the room before even waiting for a response. Sans now lagged behind by the swift long strides his guardian was taking. Noticing his child's struggle Grillby scooped up his son and continued his brisk pace.

“Did he mention this to you?” The flame questioned and Sans shook his head, pulling up his hood to protect his skull against the frigid wind. The element tugged out his phone and dialed Bonnie's number, waiting for only two rings before she answered.

“Yes, Grillby?”

“Is Papyrus with you?”

“No, should he be?” Grillby cursed and Sans held tightly onto his shirt. “Is he missing?”

“No-He...probably isn't. I'll call you back.” Grillby ended the call and shut the phone, handing it to Sans as he picked up his pace. “He didn't say anything to you? Not even a hint?” He pressed but Sans shook, pupils shrunken and shaking.

“N-No, nothing.” The skeleton answered in a weary tone and Grillby let out a deep sigh.

Grillby practically ran all the way home and marched up to his steps to his front door. Testing the knob, he was mildly relieved to find it was unlocked. Pushing it open, he set his child down and was instantly focusing on the light shining through the bottom of the children's bedroom door. The two climbed the steps two at a time and nudged open the door. Sans entered first, spotting his brother in the corner, wedged between a pile of stuffed animals and their closet. His head was buried between his knees, arms wrapped firmly around his legs. Upon hearing the door open, his grip tightened. He hadn't even removed his jacket or shoes, the fabric shifting under his movements. No one spoke for minutes all fearful of saying the wrong thing that could trigger any number of outcomes. Finally, Papyrus cut through the silence first, still not looking up at his family.

“...I'm sorry.” He mumbled and Sans and Grillby mimicked the same worried expression.

“Pap, what happened?” The flame asked, stepping closer to his child.

“Miss Lumie wasn't there today,” Papyrus answered with a thick voice. Sans shuffled over to his sibling, kneeling down next to him. “I just-...” A soft hiccup escaped the younger skeleton, followed by a loud, stuffy inhale. “T-The sub didn't...They wouldn't stop...I-” Papyrus sobbed loudly, crumbling before them. “I-I don't want to go to school anymore!” He wailed and Sans reached out to hold onto his brother. Papyrus clung to him, crying into his chest. The older brother looked up at his guardian for help unsure of how to reassure his brother. Grillby closed the distance between them and sat on the floor. He pulled his children to him and rubbed at Papyrus' back.

“Will you please let me help you Papyrus?”

“What can you do?” The skeleton whimpered raising his head to stare at his guardian with a hurt expression. “Tell the principal again? Talk to my teacher? Nothing works, Dad! Everything you've done just made everything worse!” The flame winced at his son's words.

“You haven't given me a chance yet, Papyrus. I'm trying to do everything I can but you won't let me help you.”

“I did and it didn't work! I let you talk to Miss Lumie and they started calling me names! I didn't yell at you when you talked to the principal and he came into the class and told everyone that bullying was bad and everyone knew why he said that! Then, everyone started picking on me and throwing stuff at me! I talked to the stupid counselor and now everyone calls me a crazy and a freak and thinks I'm going to attack them like Sans!” Now it was his older brother's turn to flinch, teeth clicking together. “You made everything worse!” Papyrus freed himself from their loving embrace stepping away from his family.

“Papyrus I am sorry. I didn't want this to get worse for you. Tell me how can I help you?” The flame was desperate to help his child. Papyrus had always been so uncooperative in the past and it left Grillby with very little options of what to do. He thought he had been doing the right thing but apparently he was wrong.

“Just go away!” The small skeleton shouted, crawling onto the lower bunk and threw the covers over him. “Go away,” he repeated in a defeated tone. Grillby and Sans both stood up watching the lump under the covers shaking as Papyrus' soft sobs filled the room.

Sans shuffled over to the bed, his eyes flickering gently as his magic sparked to life. He stood by the bed, unsure of whether or not to get closer to his brother after the damage he had already unintentionally caused. Grillby clenched his hands by his side before sighing and slouching.

“Okay,” he said in a gentle tone. Sans looked nervous, watching his guardian with desperate eyes. “I'll give you some space,” Grillby announced in the most sincere voice he could muster. “Sans please watch your brother. I'll be back.” The skeleton seemed apprehensive but nodded. He climbed onto the bed, sitting next to his brother and the flame flashed him a small smile before he left their room. He exited the house, pulling out his phone as he did so and flipping it open to dial Bonnie's number. He walked around their house, resting against the side of the home out of sight of the town. Bonnie had answered on the second ring and sounded as chipper as usual.

“Did you find Papyrus? My cousin said she thought she saw something in the forest but she said it could have also been a bunny so I'm not too sure if-”

“I think I got in a fight with Papyrus,” Grillby admitted cutting his friend off. He reached into his pocket for a cigarette but realized he had not purchased any since adopting his children and had been out for a while.

“You got in a fight with him? Where are you?”

“More of I made everything worse and he told me to go away. I'm melting snow.” He answered with a phrase he often says to tell Bonnie he was sitting outside.

“Do I need to come over? No, scratch that. I'm coming over.” Grillby could hear shuffling on her end.

“Rather you didn't,” the element answered truthfully. “I'm not feeling up for the company right now and I doubt they are as well.”

“Have you spoken to Flurry?” Grillby scoffed rolling his eyes. Bonnie had been so insistent that the bartender was in need of his therapist that it was starting to bug him. He told her countless times he had no time to go but still she refused to listen. Not only was Grillby fine but he hadn't a second to spare when it came to his children and taking an hour or two away to indulge in a useless therapy session was a waste of time.

“I don't have time to-”

“I told you to make time. I will take the kids. Do not make me get Flint, Grillby.”

“So I go to therapy, then what Bonnie? Sans is still unhappy, Papyrus is still being bullied and is spiraling down his own depressive path, and I continue to fail as their guardian. All Flurry'll do is make me feel like a positive piece of shit and all Flint will do is make me drive off the edge of this anxiety mountain.”

“Well, it's better than how you are now!” The flame laughed humorlessly flicking sparks at the snow.

“Yeah, because that's a good role model. I'll tell Sans and Papyrus the wonders of just pretending to be happy while slowly dying inside. That'll make me the parent of the year.”

“You are being unreasonable right now, Grillby. I can't talk to you when you refuse to even listen. And I will not stay on this line and listen to you speak negatively about yourself, that's Flurry's job.” Grillby didn't respond, choosing to stare up at the cave ceiling. “Grillby, what happened with Papyrus? If you won't talk to Flurry then at least talk to me.”

“Bonnie, I'm really starting to doubt myself.” The bartender admitted, resting his head in his hand. “Like, what if someone else had found them? Someone more qualified? What if I had just given them to the guards and let them find a home for them? They'd probably be so much better off with-”

“Quit it!” Grillby flinched as the snow was kicked at him. It melted before even touching him but he glanced up to find Bonnie fuming a few feet away, phone in her hand. The element turned his own phone away from him, ending the call before shoving it in his pocket. “Your flame is low.”

“Probably, I'm depressed.” Grillby blurted and Bonnie stepped closer.

“No, I mean you look sick.” Her paw brushed against his face and he turned away. “Grillby you feel-”

“I feel fine,” he insisted cutting his friend off.

“Talk to me.” The element hung his head, hands coming up to rub against his face. 

“Bonnie, be honest with me please,” Grillby glanced over at his friend, “would they be happier with someone else?” Bonnie released a deep breath, brushing some snow out of the way so she could sit next to her friend.

“No,” she replied honestly and the flame scoffed, turning away. “And here's why no one is born a parent. No one is ready to be a parent. No one is prepared to raise children. You learn through raising them and through having them how to be good parents. It's why the more you have the easier it becomes. You are still new to this. You didn't have them as baby bones. You didn't get to raise them and learn how to be a dad through Sans and be a better dad for Papyrus. Some parents are better friends than dads. Some are just crummy parents in general. You, Grillby, are learning. You are a great dad to them and an even better friend. What you aren't is a bad parent.” The flame looked away, a deep frown on his features.

“One thing you have above all others is your knowledge.” The element cocked his head slightly, shooting the bunny a confused look. “You may not have eleven years of parenting under your belt. Instead, you have exactly what those two need and that is patience and smarts. Your years of depression and everything else is far greater than anyone else in this town, Grillby. Just look at the time Sans freaked out at the park. Monsters are still afraid of him and I guarantee most of these bunny parents wouldn't be able to look at Sans the same way you did. They'd be afraid of him and treat him differently, Papyrus too. Folks around here don't know how to deal with that kind of stuff, but you do. Instead of fearing him, you accept him. Instead of kicking them out, you embrace them and love them. Sans had disappeared without a trace, blasted a hole in your wall, threatened you and had episodes so extreme it's scary but you never hated him or feared him because of that. Papyrus snaps at you and you don't ground him. Papyrus keeps this bullying thing a secret and you don't order him to tell you what's wrong. You treat your kids like they are monsters and no one in this town would have done that. And I hate to tell this to you Grillby, but your boys don't want some nine-to-five dad who comes home, makes dinner, and tucks them into bed at night. I know a lot of parents Grillby. I know this town better than I know myself. I can guarantee you, no one is a better fit for these boys than you.”

“Then why do I keep making everything worse? Why do they both keep getting more depressed and unhappy if I'm so qualified to raise them?”

“We mess up, stupid.” Bonnie shoved Grillby lightly. “No parent is perfect. You fight with you kids, just like you fight your spouse or your friends. It's not about how often you fight, but if you are able to make up afterward. And I know as soon as Papyrus cools down he will probably be pushing through the front door crying his little eyes out and apologizing.” Grillby didn't want to state his lack of faith in Bonnie's words. Grillby's worst fears were already coming true, he didn't need and probably couldn't handle them getting any worse.

“Then we are back to where we were. Papyrus keeping secrets and me not being able to help. Papyrus isn't like Sans, Bonnie. He needs a dad that I'm not. I can at least try to understand Sans and help him because I can sorta relate or get into his head. I know Sans and what he wants and what he expects. He expects monsters to fear him and he expects everyone to hate him. Even if I was afraid of him I'd never show it. Papyrus isn't like that. Papyrus doesn't have these internal issues like Sans does. I can't read him and know what's wrong or how to help. If Sans is upset I just have to talk to him and he opens up. I've tried everything with Papyrus and he still won't open up to let me help. I can't relate and all my attempts to take control and be 'dadish' have failed.”

“Maybe instead of trying to act 'dadish',” Bonnie mocked Grillby's air quotes, “you could ask one how they would deal with it. Moms usually always have tips on what to do and it helps a lot of new parents get ideas and stuff. You should try talking to a parent about this and how to go about talking to Papyrus. I can offer my advice but I'm not a mom and I can't really give you the best help like they could.”

“Who would I even talk to? I have no parent friends.” Bonnie stared at Grillby, her mouth pressed into a firm line. Her paw gently tapped against her phone and the flame allowed his eyes to travel down to the device before slowly making their way to his pocket. “He's not-”

“He's a dad.”

“He's wouldn't-”

“He would.”

“Are you serious?”

“I'll call him myself if I have to.”

“Flint?” The bunny nodded. “You want me to call my brother and ask for help on how to parent when his own daughter comes down to me once a year and complains about how naggy and overprotective he is?”

“Oh, all kids say that. If Fiora hated your brother so much she would have come down here like you did and moved in.” Grillby was silent, eyes narrowing.

“You're serious about this.”

“Didn't Fiora have a bullying problem too?” Bonnie pondered tapping her chin.

“Yes, but she ended up setting their hair on fire and Flint congratulated her for sticking up for herself.”

“Huh, Sulfi said it ended differently.”

“Yeah, she smacked them both,” Grillby grumbled, retrieving his phone from his pocket as Bonnie rested a paw on his shoulder.

“Grillby listen, like it or not Flint is a dad. If you want help or even just to learn from what he did then you need to talk to him. You've already grown and learned so much about what not to do with Sans because of how he treated you during your depression. Maybe as a parent, he can teach you a thing or two about Papyrus.” The flame stared down at the device in his hands.

“I'll call him,” Grillby told her and Bonnie smiled. “I haven't spoken to him in a week or so anyways. He's probably throwing a fit about it.”

“Good, also,” Bonnie pulled out a sheet of paper and attempted to work out the wrinkles. “I've been looking into that homeschooling thing for you. I've got a few who are a maybe but due to that park incident, most aren't too welcoming of the boys due to the classes since it'll involve at least one other kid." The bunny flashed her friend a sad smile. “I've also looked into doing it myself since I wanted to homeschool my own kids one day but it'll take a while to do the whole process.”

“I can't ask you to do that Bonnie,” Grillby said and Bonnie brushed him off.

“It's fine, it's only if these other options fail. Even if he doesn't like them there is always the Waterfall's school. Those kids have been known to be rowdier but I heard they are very strict and against bullying there. A friend of mine even said some of the children act as little safety patrols and I thought that was just darling.” Grillby sighed, looking over the list of course not recognizing a single name. Grillby knew a lot of people, but not a lot of the gossiping moms that spent more time at home and in his bar.

“It's a half hour walk,” the flame told the bunny.

“Ten by boat and two other kids from town go there as well. Both of them live on the outskirts and aren't into the rumors of the town,” the bunny added and Grillby huffed.

“Great, sounds perfect. Oh wait, but there's still the issue of Papyrus not allowing me to transfer him. If I take him out will he even go to this new school or just fight me on it?” Bonnie reached over and patted his cell phone.

“Talk to Flint, work things out with Papyrus, and call me tomorrow. Papyrus can't avoid this forever. Even if he refused to talk to you or me, there's no way Sans will let him out of his sight after today if it's this bad.” Bonnie pushed herself up, brushing the snow off of her legs. “Sans' protective nature and love for his brother is probably the most dependable thing in the whole Underground. Even if Papyrus runs away and ends up getting lost in the forest, I'd be willing to bet a shiny gold coin Sans'll be by his side faster than anyone else.” Bonnie retrieved a gold coin from her pocket and flicked it into the air. She caught it midair before tossed it over to her friend.

“Another parental perk, you got siblings and two who'd rather die than be without one another as well. Folks round here are a fan of one child. But that means more time devoted to them and less time to yourself. You may not think that's a bad thing, but everybody needs alone time. At least you can trust those two to look after each other without you around. Plus, you and I both know we'll never come close to replacing either one of them. Whenever my sister and I fought with our parents we'd always go to each other because it was easier and we understood each other better. I know you want to be there for them and have them rely on and go to you, but you know when all else fails those two got each other. Both of them have slammed the door on our face multiple times but Sans can't lock Papyrus out just like Papyrus can't lock Sans out. Sometimes you don't even need to worry about fixing things or getting them to talk. They can work these things out together then come to you."

"Just call you brother, have a chat, then head back inside.” Bonnie gave a small waved before turning around and starting to walk off. “Stop focusing on what you did wrong.” She told him, glancing over her shoulder. “They love you just as much as you love them. Quit forgetting that.”

Grillby watched his friend leave, body disappearing behind the next home and let out a deep breath. The turned to stare up at his home debating if he should give them more time to be alone or if he should walk back in. Feeling the weight of his phone, the flame sighed and flipped it open. He pressed in the number to his brother's cell and waited. The flame stuck his finger into the snow, watching it melt before he came into contact with it.

“Are you okay?” Grillby smirked, silently laughing at his brother's never failing concern for his wellbeing.

“Do you suspect I'm not?” He wondered and heard a grunt.

“You tend to call at night or early morning. Excuse me for getting suspicious when you call midday.”

“Well, you aren't wrong I suppose. I do-er...I'd like to ask you something.”

“You are in trouble aren't you?” Flint joked but his younger brother rolled his eyes.

“No, shut up. Don't make this weird either.”

“Are you dating someone? Are you sick? What color is your flame?”

“Shut. Up.” Grillby snapped and the line went silent. Grillby took in a deep and calming inhale not wanting to let his emotional state get the best of him. “I'd like to ask you about stuff,” he paused near the end of the sentence.

“Stuff? What stuff?” Flint questioned.

 “Like, you know...” Grillby trailed off staring down at the numerous holes he had made in the snow. “Like...dad stuff.”

“Grillby, are you asking me for parental advice?”

“Yes.” Even through the phone the hesitation and uncertainty between the two was felt. Grillby felt as if his gaze at the snow would cause it to melt.

“Wouldn't Sulfi be a better choice for this? She knows more people in that area. I'm not sure if I should really be trying to help with Sans after last time.” Flint mumbled awkwardly.

“It's not Sans, it's Papyrus.”

“What? What's wrong with Papyrus? Is he relapsing too?”

“No, there's nothing wrong with him. Or either of them, for that matter. He is just being bullied and I'm not sure what to do. I've talked to the principal, his teacher, and his counselor about it but so far it's only made matters worse. I've tried to get him to talk but he won't and I don't really know what to do. I can't offer the same support and be as helpful as I am with Sans. I fear I don't have the skill or experience needed to be a good father for either of them right now. I've tried to talk to Bonnie but she told me to ask you about it.”

“Have you talked to Flurry at all?” Grillby groaned. “I'm just asking. You know you can fall into these depressive moods when you stress about these things too much. I just don't want you collapsing because you stressed your soul out too much. Maybe talking to Flurry can help prevent you from being bed ridden from a stress-induced illness or something.” The yellow flame told his brother who flicks embers into the ground.

“I'm fine! Stars, both you are Bonnie won't shut up about that.”

“Did she say something?” Flint pressed and his sibling growled.

“Only the same shit as you. Look, I'm fine. I can handle myself. One little depressive mood isn't going to make me collapse. I'll just need to focus on my kids right now.”

“You can't exactly help them if you worked yourself sick. What color are you?”

“Flint, I'm fine! I'm orange and burning! Fuck, I knew calling you was a bad idea!” Grillby barked and tossed a small fireball as a large pile of snow melting it instantly.

“What the hell do you want from me, Grillby? I'm worried. I'm sorry I can't just ignore my concern for your self-being when I know it's decreasing. I'm not telling this to you so you can get pissy but to inform you. You've been stressed every since the incident and haven't had a moment to yourself to relax. You are spending every waking moment worrying about your kids. They need your help and you can help them but you can't let yourself do this whole doubt thing. You are doubting your parent's abilities and it's making you depressed because instead of focusing on the big picture and solving this by trial and error you are sulking and moping about the negatives. Being stressed and overworked will make everything worse. I'm just letting you know, before you scare your kids half to death by passing out on them, to calm the hell down and stop being such an asshole about it.” Flint shot back in an equally bitter tone.

“I'm not being an-”

“Shut up. If you want my help with Papyrus here it is, gets him to talk. You can't try to solve the issue if you don't know what it is. Find out who is bullying him, when he is being bullied, and tell the principal. With a who and a when he can narrow it down and have Papyrus be watched more closely as well as keep an eye on his bullies.”

“Telling him made it worse Papyrus said.”

“If he didn't tell you about it like you said, the principal can't do a whole lot. If the issue still remains, transfer him out.”

“He said he doesn't want to be,” Grillby grumbled.

“That's not his choice. You're his father. It's your job to take care of your children. If the school is bad, take him out and put him in a new one. You are doing everything you can right now. Papyrus is the one at fault. If he doesn't let you help you can't do anything besides go to school with him and watch him all day which isn't an option. You either understand him through Sans or someone and tries to work it out at this school or get him a new one.

“Also, If he feels so strongly about this, find out why. If he doesn't want to talk about the bullying ask him why the kids pick on him. If he still doesn't want to talk about it asking him why he doesn't want to. Being a dad isn't as hard as you are making it out to be. There's no secret. There is no life changing moment where you hold you child and become this father figure. You got a kid so raise it knowing it depends on you. Both of your kids look up to you and want you there to help them, hold them, and love them. Maybe instead of trying to get into Papyrus' head and figure out why he isn't telling you these on a personal level. Start asking why he isn't telling you them from an overall perspective. There's a reason why he's not speaking so find that out. Fiora once wouldn't tell us about her school troubles because me and Sulfi had a fight in front of her and she feared she'd end up splitting us apart. We had to sit her down and talk to her about how we're going to split up and that nothing was her fault but you need to get that message across because the situation could be the same. Sans is a giant attention magnet and he doesn't mean to be. You feed into that and Papyrus sees it. I wouldn't doubt it if the reason he isn't letting you help is because it'll take time away from Sans. Think about it Grillby, you focus on Papyrus, then the attention given to Sans is cut in half. You can't hang around him if you are looking for a new school, or busy talking to the school staff about this problem. Now, Papyrus feels guilty for taking you away from Sans and no doubt feels like he's some big bother because you are wasting your time on an issue he thinks he can handle by himself or won't ever go away. You all are painfully ignorant to how each of you literally acts like exactly the same with your mentality. Jeez Grillby, you don't need to be a dad to figure this shit out. Get your head out of your depressed ass and stop being so ignorant before you make yourself sick.” The flame's head burnt low quivering at his temperature drop.

“Wh...Why would he think that? He knows better. We've talked about this in therapy.”

“And you learned about the dangers of overthinking too but look where you are. Just because we know we shouldn't do it, doesn't mean we still don't. I can't stop you from feeling depressed just like you can't stop him from putting his brother over his own needs. From what you've been telling me, Papyrus grew up raised on keeping his smile big and mouth shut. His job was to make sure Sans was happy just like Sans' job was to make sure Papyrus was alive. Papyrus sacrificed his emotions and selfish thinking just like Sans gave up his food or warmth. Sans has issues to work out, but Papyrus does too. They both and even you as well all seem to put someone else's needs before your own. You'd all rather give up your happiness and lives if it meant someone else would be happy because of it.”

“Their happiness is my happiness!” The bartender argued and he heard his brother's flame crackle against the phone.

“That's bullshit and you know it Grillby. If them being happy was enough those moments where you see them smile should wash away everything you feel that is negative, but does it? The last time either of them smiled at you, did you feel just as happy if happy at all?”

No. Sans was happy just this morning and Grillby still hadn't gotten over his slump. He had believed that once his children were happy and healthy again that everything else would just fall into place. Their intoxicating happiness would influence him just like it always had, but was he wrong? Did he feel silly for trying to believe someone else's happiness would make his own sadness vanish? Was it so wrong to believe in? Would it work? What else...what else could he do?

“Thought not,” Flint said in a dry tone. Grillby shivered, his temperature barely high enough to balance out the Snowdin air. “Don't get me wrong, it helps, but it's not a cure. Those two will get better and happy but you'll still sit in bed at night and lose sleep over all the wrongs you did because that's who you are and you know it too. So here's what I want you to do, this will be my dad advice. Hang up the phone, go to your kids, talk to Papyrus, figure out what's wrong, and work out a plan from there. Either go to the principal and tell him everything or get him out of that school. Once that's taken care of, schedule an appointment with Flurry and go.” Flint ordered and his brother closed his eyes.

“I don't need to see her,” Grillby argued weakly.

“I swear, I will personally throw you into the damn river if I get even a rumor that you stressed yourself into a fever, Grillby. Do not test me.” His sibling threatened and the bartender was beginning to get frustrated. Just because Papyrus was in a new school didn't mean his problems were over. What if they bully kept on? What if there were new bullies at the new school? What about Sans' depression? These children were so far from okay that to even waste a second thinking of himself was so selfish and ridiculous!

“Look, once this whole situation is worked out and Sans is more comfortable being around others I'll go. But until then, I don't want either of them to be alone.”

“Bonnie said Sans is fine around her.”

“He still gets panic attacks very easily. Plus, if the principal thing doesn't work I'll need to look for the new schooling and make sure that's okay too. There's too much to be done right now. I can't take time off to see Flurry until they are okay!”

“You'll keep on finding petty excuses and delay it!” Grillby's weak flame ignited shooting several feet up. 

“How the hell is Sans being suicidal and Papyrus being bullied to the point where he forged a note home a petty excuse?!” Grillby shouted, his pathetically sad mood being replaced by burning rage.

“What? You didn't tell me that! Grillby what happened with Sans!?” Flint asked with genuine concern.

“My shitty fucking parenting happened, Flint! Why on earth would I be this depressed if not for a valid reason!? You think I'm so pathetic I just start feeling down just because my kids scrap their patella?! One of my children is being horribly bullied because of me while the other is one episode away from killing himself because of my inability to be a good parent. Do I seem unreasonable now, Flint? I'm a fucking wreck who should have never been given custody of two children who need a far better home than I can offer. Everything I've done to help these kids lately has backfired and it has become painfully clear that it's not their fault. I just-...” Grillby rubbed at his temples, shaking his head as his anger depleted. “I'm lost, Flint. I don't know what to do anymore.” A silence hung between them for a long while. Grillby sulked, head resting in the crook of his arm.

“I'm coming down,” Flint announced after minutes of silence.

“What?” The bartender asked, lifting his head.

“I'll stay at the inn. Don't worry about preparing a bed.” Grillby could hear shuffling through the other end and became more alert.

“Do not come down!”

“Grillby, this isn't up for discussion. You need-”

“I need you to stay in fucking Hotland before you come down and scare my son.” The shuffling stopped and the guardian relaxed.

“Grillby...”

“You can come down but please, just wait,” The bartender instructed, praying nothing else goes wrong. “Let me just make sure everything is okay first, alright?” He offered and was given a long sigh.

“Okay,” Flint agreed and Grillby hung his head, thankful to avoid a possible disaster. “I'm still worried,” the older brother confessed.

“Don't be,” Grillby said in a poor attempt reassure his brother. “Look, I got to go check on the kids. Thanks for the help and all. I'll uh...call you again soon okay?”

“Sure, Grill. Look after yourself okay?”

“I will. Love you, bye.” Grillby hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket. He remained outside for a few minutes, pondering as he stared at the small town around him. He could have stay outside all night just melting snow and avoiding responsibility, but he couldn't. With a deep breath, he made his way to his house and through the front door. Closing it behind him, he stole a glance at his children's bedroom and noticed the door was now closed but the light was on. The flame kicked off the extra snow on his shoes before removing them and setting them beside the door. His feet led him across the living room and up the stairs, not bothering to turn on any lights to help against the coming darkness of night. The bartender waited on the door hand hovering over the wood debating on knocking or just entering. He listened to any voice but heard none. The flame decided to just knock and cracked open the door slightly before tapping against it lightly as he poked his head in. Sans lifted his skull and relaxed as he spotted Grillby.

“Pap fell asleep,” the skeleton informed him and the flame wasn't sure if he felt relieved or not. He entered the room and sat down next to the bed taking in Papyrus' sleeping form resting on Sans' lap. The older brother was gently petting his skull with one hand while the other resting on his sibling's rib glowing faintly.

“Are you okay?” Sans asked his guardian who nodded.

“I'm fine.”

“You don't look fine.” The two locked gazes and the bartender were the first to break it. “Papyrus is really sorry about what he said. He didn't mean it. He was just upset.” Grillby forced a small smile.

“I know Sans,” He told his child who watched him closely.

“I...I know you're not okay,” Sans said as the faint glow vanishing from his hands that slowly curled around the fabric of his brother's shirt. “W-Was it something I did? Is that why you won't tell me?” Sans bit back a whimper as Grillby's flame lowered, his core flicking maroon. “I'm sorry.”

“Please don't apologize, you didn't do anything,” Grillby informed his child, trying to push his guilt and depression aside. “I'm fine, just tired.”

“You're a bad liar.” The flame faced his child who no longer looked at him but his brother instead. “You've been trying to hide but you're bad at it.”

“What do you mean? I haven't been-”

“Why do you keep lying?” Sans questioned, expression pained. “I'm fine. I'm tired. I said those to Papyrus over and over again. He never believed me and I won't believe you. You can't lie about being okay with someone who had to fake it their entire life.”

In a flash, Sans' pained and sorrowful expression was gone. A large smile broke out across his face, pupils bright and shining as he beamed at his guardian. Grillby swallowed unable to remember the last time Sans had ever look that happy before. The flame couldn't even tell he was faking it. There were no lines of worry, no forced or tensed spots, his smile wasn't wavering, pupils weren't shaking or small. Sans looked happy, truthfully and honestly happy and knowing he wasn't internally scared the bartender.

“You can't just tell me you're okay when you can't even offer a convincing smile.” As quickly as it appeared the happy grin vanished and Sans' sunken and defeated expression returned. “Don't insult me, Dad. You're telling me it's okay if not better to hide your own emotions for the sake of others. If you want to play this game then fine. But Grillby,” Sans let out a small, sad laugh grin returning and holding that joyous expression, “you won't win.” The smile felt heavy and as his mouth pointed downward it felt like a weight had been removed. “I don't hide because I don't have to anymore. I don't need to stay strong and I don't need to be brave when I don't want to be. You don't have to talk about it and you don't have to be open like last night. But the least you could do is be honest, even if it means telling us you aren't okay or that we did something.” Sans paused, focusing all his attention on his brother for a moment, allowing Grillby time to speak but he did not. “Are you okay?”

“No,” the flame answered honestly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” The element deflated momentarily before inhaling.

“You just get down sometimes and I'll bounce back in a day or so. You, Bonnie, and everyone else doesn't need to worry. It just happens.” Sans nodded, pausing in his petting as Papyrus rolled over, snuggling into his side before resuming once more. “Did you and him have a talk?” The bartender gestured between the two children.

“Yeah, he didn't say much at first because he was mad. But once he cooled down he just kept saying he wished it would stop and that he was sorry for getting upset.” The skeleton gestured to the backpack in the corner, “he said there was some stuff inside but I didn't want to look at it right now.”

Grillby stood up and walked over to the bag. He unzipped the pockets and began carefully laying out the contents besides him. His ever so present frown only got deeper as he pulled out ruined school supplies. His folders were drawn on, everything soiled, and most of it ripped in one way or another. Most of his pencils were broken and most of the other small items were no longer there despite Grillby recalling buying them for him. At the bottom of the backpack was a layer of folded notes or ripped up sheets of paper that the flame was hesitant to touch. Papyrus was organized. Papyrus liked things neat and orderly so seeing an array of loose papers at the bottom of his bag was perplexing. Slowly, the element reached inside and pulled out one note. The front had the word freak written on it and the inside looked just as similar. Dropping it back inside he shuffled around looking each one over, scanning them to find that they all read one horrific comment or another. He clenched his fist, the note within catching fire as his body heated up to a dark red.

“What is it?” Sans asked.

“Nothing,” the flame mumbled flicking the ashes of the note aside

“What does it say?” Sans pressed, sliding away from his brother.

“Nothing,” Grillby repeated more sternly but before he could hide the bag Sans was before him snatching it up and blinking a few feet away. For once he hadn't lost his balance and instantly shoved his open hand inside pulling out a piece of paper. His sockets narrowed and teeth ground together as he scanned over the hateful word. He flicked the note aside and pulled out another followed by another before he dumped the entire bag out and began shuffling through all of the papers.

Freak. Tattletale. Cry baby. Weirdo. Crazy. Psychopath. Abomination. Useless. Unwanted. Go die. No one likes you. Waste of space. Just-

“Sans.” The skeleton turned away from the notes face contorted into a look of utter devastation and rage.

“Who wrote this?” He demanded but Grillby had no answer. Sans growled, crushing the paper below him as his fingers curled into fists. “Who wrote this?!” He shouted causing Papyrus to stir.

“I don't know!” Grillby whispered not wanting to wake his child up. “I was hoping he told you that.”

“He said you knew about the bullying! Why did you keep this from me?!” Sans threw the notes at Grillby and Papyrus whimpered softly, sockets slowly opening. “How long has this been going on?” The furious skeleton barked to only be answered by silence.

“Brother, why are you-” Sans spun around fuming with misguided rage.

“Who wrote this?” Papyrus flinched away as Sans help up the notes.

“No on-”

“Who wrote this Papyrus?” Sans repeated more as a warning, note already crinkling under his iron grip. Papyrus was looking flustered, fidgeting nervously.

“Just...”

“ **Papyrus,** ” Sans spoke and his younger sibling lowered his head, glaring at the blankets. He hated when Sans spoke to him in Wing Ding. “ **Papyrus, tell me** **right now who wrote this.** ” Papyrus bit down on his lower jaw and felt a small spark ignite inside of him. “ **Papyrus if you don't tell me-** ”

“EVERYONE!” He shrieked launching a pillow at his sibling. “EVERYONE WRITES THEM! EVERYONE HATES ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME SANS?!” The older skeleton's rage left him quickly being replaced with a wave of regret. “You going to go down and beat up my entire class? That'll only make everything worse! They already make fun of me because of-” Papyrus bit down biting back the words he was going to regret and never be able to take back. Sans swallowed back his fear, body tense.

“Because of what?” Sans pressed but Papyrus refused to answer. “ **Because of what?** ” He voiced and Papyrus wanted to tear the blanket in his hand apart.

“Both of you stop,” Grillby demanded, standing between his children who gazes' were unbreakable. “Don't-”

“Because of you.” Sans took in a sharp inhale at his brother's words. “They all make fun of me because of you. Because you are the freak. You are the one who attacks people. You are the one who writes weirdly. You are the crazy one. You are the lame brother nobody likes and everyone is afraid of. It's because of you that I even got picked on because you decided to go out and beat up that kid in the park!” Tears formed in the younger skeleton's sockets as he watched his brother stare at him with large and horrified sockets. He caused that expression to form. He hurt his brother. Why did everyone think Sans was the bad guy? Papyrus was the real enemy. He was always so selfish.

Papyrus sniffled wiping away his tears he'd knew would just continue to flow.

“They hate you. They mock you. They make fun of you. I have to go to school each day and get bullied before I'm the brother of the crazy skeleton! But do you know why they really bully me, Sans? Do you know what really makes it all just so much worse?” Sans looked away, hollow eyes facing the ground. “Because just like that day at the park, I keep sticking up for you,” Papyrus continued as tears trickled down his cheeks. “Everyday they say awful things about me and I don't listen and I don't react but when they talk about you I get so mad because they don't know you. I always stick up for you and because of that it makes it worse. I never wanted to tell you because you'd blame yourself like you are now.” Papyrus knew Sans was probably filled with so much self-hate and disgust it was consuming him. He blamed himself, hated himself, thought his existence was the cause of all of this and it wasn't. It's not his fault, though. Papyrus should have been strong enough to fight his own battles. He shouldn't have let it get this bad but he did. He shouldn't have let them bully him for this long but he was too cowardly to fight back. If he acted like Sans this wouldn't have happened. If he listened to his brother and fought back he wouldn't be here.

“I'm sorry,” Papyrus cried practically filled to the brim with disgust for himself. “I'm sorry I shouted. I'm sorry I got upset. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I didn't let you help. I'm sorry I was too weak to handle this myself. I'm sorry that I'm not strong like you. I'm sorry that I can't fight back. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I'm terrible and selfish. I'm sorry I'm so useless. I'm sorry.” Papyrus wailed loudly, hunched over as his sobs tore through him.

Sans peered up at his brother with empty sockets his brother's tears making his guilt grow. He shouldn't be crying. He shouldn't be apologizing. Sans was the one to blame. It wasn't Papyrus' fault. Papyrus was perfect. Sans shouldn't have lost his temper. He shouldn't hate attacked that child at the park. He shouldn't have been such a complete and utter outcast. Sans never cared for what other said to him, but had he known his bizarre behaviors had such an effect on his brother he would have never left the house. If Sans had just been a normal brother or a normal monster Papyrus could be happy. He wouldn't have to deal with these bullies and he wouldn't have to be so miserable.

Grillby was lost. He went over to Papyrus who was desperate for his affection and held onto him. Sans remained distant but had begun silently crying by himself. The bartender attempted to get his attention and offer his support but the older skeleton refused to move.

It had taken a solid hour to get Papyrus to stop mumbling out apologies and crying. When he did, it was his turn to try to comfort his brother, however, it did nothing. Sans remained unresponsive and the only movement he made was to back away from his family when they tried to get close. He had pressed himself up against the far wall with his legs inside his parka and head covered by his arms that pressed his knees together. If Papyrus or Grillby approached him he'd summon a wall of bones barricading himself to prevent them from getting any closer for he could not go back any farther. With Sans being as uncooperative as he was, there was little either family member could do. Words, promises, praise, and even touches did nothing and Grillby and Papyrus were left to sit in the room and wait.

Fortunately, they had much to talk about. Papyrus began confessing more detail about the bullying. He told his guardian names, when they were bullying him, how they bullied him, and why he didn't tell anyone or want help. Papyrus honestly believes he could handle it. He had faith that his perseverance and determination could win over the bullies and they'd no longer harass him but it was the opposite. Everything he did earn him a mock in some manner and every action he took was rewarded with one of their own. Grillby's attempts to help the situation had ended up only adding more fuel to the fire and every time Papyrus attempted to defend himself or his family that fire became more unstoppable. Their harassment was incessant and unwavering, every chance his classmates got to torment him they took it. It didn't matter where or when as long as the teacher wasn't looking.

The gossiping town of Snowdin did very little to ease the bullying as well. Though Grillby and those who knew were very private about their hospital visit and personal struggles, that did not stop bystanders who heard words from whispering. Those whispers got out of hand and the children were always by their parents listening to what the town was saying. Then, they'd flock to the playground ready to use their new found knowledge for blackmail and to offend.

As of late, Papyrus had stopped trying. He was trapped. Defending himself did nothing, telling his teacher did nothing, ignoring them did nothing, there was no winning. All he could do was sit there and take it refusing to give in and fight back. Ryan was already ready to fight him. Papyrus wasn't too sure as to why the reptilian monster wished to engage him, but he was persistent. Papyrus was one of the very few monsters to have any control over his magic, but he still wasn't very good at it. It took far too much energy summoning one bone and even more to get it to move. He couldn't just charge an attack like Ryan nor could he cast one as effortlessly as Sans. Papyrus had asked Sans why he wasn't as good if he had to train with him at times in the labs but Sans had no answer. He suggested it could be that since Papyrus had forgotten the times in the labs that included his memory of his magic but it was still unknown.

Papyrus wasn't too interested to know either. He didn't like fighting. He hated other getting hurt and he never wanted his own attacks to be the reason for it. Papyrus was also so frightened whenever Sans had lost control or would so easily threaten someone with a powerful attack. Violence wasn't needed. His brother didn't agree with him, but Papyrus clung onto that belief. He could act. He could use his voice. He had no need to learn magic or try to recall his forgotten past because it wasn't important anymore. Papyrus wanted to solve his problem without violence, but it appeared the idea was too far-fetched.

Papyrus wondered if it would be easier if he had just punched Ryan. If instead of being pushed down he pushed back. Would Ryan have stopped bullying him? Would Papyrus be feared? Would he be a hero? He didn't feel very heroic now and he didn't think about having to fight to do so. Either way sounded like a bad end. He either hurt his brother and put stress on his entire family or stopped his bullies by force and was no better than them.

“Papyrus,” Grillby started with a deep inhale and let it out slowly and ran a hand through his flamed head. “What do you want me to do? I'm at a loss here.” The skeleton just frowned, resting on the edge of the bed and staring at his feet that didn't touch the ground. “Do you want me to try to tell the principal again but with more information? Bonnie said he really is against bullying. I'm sure he can do something to help you if he knows who is doing it.” Papyrus sniffed, peering up at his guardian.

“And if he can't? Then what?”

“Then we find you another school,” Grillby answered.

“What other school? There are none.”

“There's not technically another school like yours in Snowdin, but there are other methods. We can look into homeschooling or even the school in the Waterfalls. It's a bit of a walk but it's better than this.” Papyrus whimpered unsure of the idea. The whole thing sounded like so much work. Papyrus already knew Grillby was worried about Sans, he didn't need the stress of his bullying issue there as well. The last thing Papyrus wanted to be was a burden.

“I don't know. I'm scared,” he admitted curling in on himself. “I don't want to transfer or whatever because it's too much work for you.”

“Pap you can't-” Grillby began but Papyrus cut him off.

“It matters. I can't be selfish right now. I can't think of myself and act on my own because this isn't a me situation. My choices affect others, it's selfish to think only of my benefit. Especially with...” Papyrus trailed off watching his brother sadly. He closed his sockets and shook his head. “We can try to talk to the principal again,” Papyrus spoke. “If it's still bad we can just...try something else.”

“If it's still bad you're out of that school. We're going in tomorrow to talk to him if it doesn't improve I'm finding you a new school. And you better call me to let me know if anything happens. I don't care if someone just kicks your chair, I want you out of that school so this doesn't happen again.”

“I'm sorry I forged your name,”Papyrus said and Grillby just lets out a huff of air.

“I'm more impressed you were able to write so neatly. I didn't even know you knew cursive. That must have been pretty damn convincing if they let you out of school with it.” Papyrus smiled weakly and shrugged suppressing a yawn. “Get some rest. I'll watch him,” Grillby told his child who seemed hesitant but nodded. Papyrus curled up next to his pillow and fell asleep leaving Grillby alone with Sans who remained unmoving throughout the entire ordeal. The element knew his son was filled with toxic thoughts right now after what Papyrus had told him. Grillby also knew that with how fragile Sans already was, the choice to let him sulk and wallow in his misery was not an option.

“How are you feeling?” The bartender asked breaking the silence. Sans tightened his ball, hands coming up to rest against his chest and the flame wasn't expecting an answer.

“I'm not,” the skeleton muttered before he slowly raised his head, sockets void of light. “I'm numb.” And he looked it too. Grillby slid onto the floor and rested against the bed. He couldn't get closer to his child and needed to somehow cheer him up without Papyrus or touch.

“You can't blame your-”

“Shut up.” The flame obeyed his son's harsh tone for only a moment before trying again.

“Sans please, let's talk about-” a low growl sounded from the skeleton as his left eye flickered to life. “You can't threaten me, Sans. I'm not afraid of you.” The child's magic depleted returning the vacant hollow stare. His empty voids stared at Grillby for a long time before they looked down at his hands. The arm pulled away from his chest revealing a faint glow that caused the flame to lose the ability to breath momentarily. Sans held his soul in his hand staring at the pathetically weak thing before peering up at his guardian.

“Now you are.”

Sans wanted to smile but couldn't. He wanted to joke but thought of none. He felt so empty and numb that nothing but his illness and all the evil it caused rang through his skull.

“You're afraid now and because of this.” Sans turned away from his guardian's frightened expression. “So I can't hurt you. So I can't get you to be afraid of me hurting you. Me harming or even killing you doesn't scare you but this does?” The skeleton's grip tightened over his soul and Sans' felt it become difficult to breathe. Grillby's body felt cold at the sight of his child's soul held in his hand. His own pounded almost painfully terrified of the outcome. Sans let out a pained noised that sounded like a cross between a sob and a laugh. His soul was pressed back into his chest and he shook his head.

“I can't even do it. Not even when I made everyone's life miserable.” The skeleton retreated to his fetal position. “I'm sorr-AH!” Sans yelped as he was picked up from the ground and pressed tightly again a trembling body. The child tried to push away from the grasp but it was too tight trapping him until he was let go.

“Don't you ever do that again,” Grillby sternly told his child. He was unable to stop shaking and his flamed body was almost similar to that of a regular monster. The little stunt had him so frightened he could barely breathe. Now with Sans' soul away and his body in the bartender's arms all the flame wanted to do was cry. “Don't,” Grillby pleaded pressing his face into Sans' oversized parka.

Sans was quiet, unsure of what to say. Grillby held onto him so tightly he could barely inhale. He was worried for Grillby was uncharacteristically cold but he wasn't sure if that was because he was afraid or something else. Sans wished he could see the color of his flame but with his face pressed into his guardian's chest he was blind to the world around him.

“We'll be okay. It'll get better for all of us.” Grillby's voice sounded thick, his natural crackle he often suppressed coming through. “Please don't ever-” he was cut off by a sob he was unable to hide. His body shuddered as he attempted to will away the negative thoughts.

“I won't,” Sans mumbled unsure if he meant it or he was just trying to please his upset father. Grillby shook his head, pulling back to look at his child. Sans' face fell as he took in his guardian's low flame and dark color. The skeleton wasn't sure if he had ever seen Grillby look so wilted. The worse he remembers seeing him was in Hotland visiting his family but even then he was at least still been orange. The flame before him was a dark purple his core an even darker shade. Sans was honest spooked by the sight, so unnerved and off-put he almost couldn't believe it was the same monster he called dad before him.

“Promise me,” Grillby implored. “Promise me you won't ever do that again.” Sans' rock was breaking before him. Grillby was always strong for Sans. He always protected him and stood by him offering his hand and comforting words even if he didn't feel good himself. Now he sounded so broken and afraid. It was as if their roles had been reversed. Sans was now the one to comfort Grillby but he wasn't sure if he could. The skeleton nodded, not trusting his voice. “No Sans, I need you to mean it. You can't-God, what would Papyrus have-No. Fuck, I'm not supposed to guilt you or pressure you but hell Sans, you scared me so badly. I need you to really mean it.”

“I won't do it again. I'm sorry,” Sans blurted willing to do or say anything if it meant making his guardian happy once more. “I won't do it ever again. I'm sorry, please don't be sad anymore. I'm sorry.” Sans sniveled his sockets watering. Grillby just pulled him back into a hug as the two softly cried in one another's arms.

"It's okay, Sans. It's going to be okay," the flame said to his child in a hushed voice.

"I'm sorry! I don't want to hurt people anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I hurt him and it's my fault he's so unhappy. I hurt Papyrus. I'm bad. I'm horrible. I'm disgusting. I don't know what to do! I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I ruined everything. He was right. Gaster was right. I shouldn't have left. I should have never been here. I don't belong. I just hurt. I'm not a monster. I'm not meant to be with others. I'm a weapon. I should be locked away!" Sans wept and he felt his guardian's grasp tighten around him.

"No, Sans. You do not. You are not any of that. We make mistakes, we all do. You can't give up when you do. You have to keep going because it's temperature and you need to mess up in order to grow. We all-We all are guilty, Sans. Not just you. We've all done bad things but instead of focusing on those we need to learn from them."

Hypocrite. Grillby was such a hypocrite.

"You aren't the same as you once were. Because of your brother's outburst, you are more aware. You know what you do affects other and you can work on that. You can control your temper. You can control your emotions. You can stand up and be there for your brother just like how he stand by you. This whole situation gives us something to work on, all of us. We all can learn from this and stand up to rise and become better monsters than we once were." Grillby rested his head against his child's skull, taking in a shaky breath. 

"I-I'm sorry," Sans whimpered, still gently sobbing.

"You're a wonderful monster, Sans. You are an amazing brother. You are a tremendous son. You are so smart and brave and have such a kind and gentle soul." The skeleton's hold on his guardian tightened as he suppressed a sob. "We both love you so much. We don't hate you. We don't want you gone. We don't think you're disgusting. You never bother us. You could never stop either of us from loving you. You are such a wonderful gift to this world, Sans. I love you so much," Grillby told his child who let out a wail that was muffled by the flame's shirt. 

They were all a mess. The night was spent with all of them crying and clinging onto one another constantly reassuring their love and apologizing for everything.

All three of them woke up the next morning sore, tired, and depressed. Grillby debated keeping everyone home and closing the bar for the day but with Bonnie and Flint most likely to call in concern he knew he couldn't skip. Getting both his children motivated and ready was a challenge. Papyrus seemed uncharacteristically slow with his movement while Sans barely moved without being asked more than once. All three of them couldn't stomach the thought of food so with breakfast skipped, all three were out the door bundled up. Papyrus and Sans shot their guardian a worried look when he slid on his own long coat, hardly ever touching the article unless there was a blizzard. Grillby just told then it was supposed to be windy before taking their hands and beginning to march to school.

Papyrus fidgeted nervously and Sans shook away his own lethargic and depression to focus in on his brother's growing anxiety. Sans didn't like the idea of Papyrus returning to school. He hated it so much he actually debated the idea of sneaking his brother out once Grillby was busy with his bar work. However, his brother was either painfully optimistic and just blind to the negative outcome that was sure to happen and just smile at Sans promising it would be okay. He said it, but no one really believed him.

The principal was very pleased to find Papyrus being honest about his bullying problem. The skeleton just tried to get through the task of confession as fast as possible. He told him the names when he was being bullied and answered all Mr. Snew's questions.

Mr. Snew did seem genuine in his offered hand, though. He vowed to do all he could to eliminate this bullying issue and promised to keep on eye on Papyrus during the times his teachers could not. Papyrus seemed hopeful but was very much so worried. Grillby and the principal chatted for a bit longer before it was time for them to leave. Papyrus walked his family to the front door where he gave each of them a hug and forced a smile on his features to let them know he was fine.

“Call me if anything happens Papyrus I mean it,” Grillby instructed his son. Sans was a few steps back staring at the playground with a deep frown. The skeleton clicked his teeth together, glancing at his brother with a thoughtful expression.

Sans wanted to do everything in his power to make up for what he had done. He wanted to be the big brother Papyrus deserved and not the sad, worthless, pile of bones he was. He wouldn't sit and mope about yesterday despite it eating away at his mind. Instead, he'd devote himself to making up for his faults by being there for his brother. Nothing else would happen to him and if something did, Sans would handle it like an adult and not with violence. 

“I will Dad. Love you two, bye!” Papyrus gave them one last hug before Grillby took Sans' hand dragging the child's attention away from the playground. Papyrus waved from the door as his family walked away. Once behind the closed door Papyrus' joyous expression melted. He slouched against the door, staring at the hallway before him with dread. He recalled the day where school was once exciting and he was quite popular with all the children. Now school had turned into a chore.

Gripping onto the straps of his backpack, Papyrus made his way to his classroom. His teacher sat at her desk, looking over some papers. Papyrus quietly made his way to his desk, removing some supplies before resting his bag behind his chair. His teacher looked up, offering him a smile before returning to her work. There was once a time where Miss Lumie would question Papyrus' actions, wondering why he wasn't outside or why he wanted to come in. But after a while, she stopped asking and after the talk with Grillby, she only smiled at Papyrus with a pitiful expression.

When the bell rung and the children began piling into the classroom, the skeleton shrunk in his chair. Ryan glared at him from the doorway before taking his seat a few seats behind Papyrus. The last one in the room was a tall penguin-like monster with a short beak. She nodded to the teacher who offered the same gesture back before starting the lesson. This woman stayed in the back mostly and monitored the classroom ensuring no student acted out. For the first time in weeks, Papyrus made it through and entire lesson without a single thing happening. Gwen, the new teacher aid, went around the classroom helping students here and there but her presence warded off any bullying. Papyrus actually felt hopeful for once. He didn't know what his principal had in store for him but if Gwen was here forever maybe he could still attend this school.

Lessons went by and class activities passed with no harassment not even a kick to his chair. When no one wanted to be in his group Gwen sat with Papyrus and kept him company. Papyrus expected laughter or mockery to come but nothing did. Papyrus was almost unsure of the behavior his classroom was giving him. He so used to Ryan or anyone making fun of every little thing he did that to receive nothing was almost frightening.

Although Papyrus was safe in the classroom, it was always lunch that sourced the most misery of his day. When the teachers were distracted and the children were free to waste away the extra energy within them. There was usually one aid outside monitoring all the children but today Papyrus didn't see anyone and it worried him. The skeleton took refuge on a small bench near the door counting down the minutes until the break was over. Gwen wasn't with him and he had no idea if Mr. Snew had some grandiose plan on saving him in case Ryan found him. Upon hearing the crunching of snow he grimaced, looking up at the three boys who tormented him. Looks like he wasn't safe…

“You little snitch,” Ryan sneered and Papyrus leaned away from him. “Think you're safe now because you got some aid in the classroom to protect you?” Mich shoved Papyrus to the ground and laughed. “Ain't no one out here today, tattletale,” Ryan smirked stepping around the bench. “You just made this harder for yourself. Seriously, why do you even bother showing up to school anymore? Do you like being treated like a loser?”

“I heard his brother got kicked out of school because he went crazy and attacked his classroom,” Gek voiced and Ryan snorted. Papyrus frowned, staring blankly at the reptile child.

“That's not true. He chose not to attend school for this semester,” Papyrus said as he pushed himself up, ready to defend his brother.

“Probably because he was too dangerous to be allowed near monsters.” The mouse monster scoffed earning a few chuckles from his peers. “Maybe you should follow after him, Papyrus. Before you snap and dust someone.”

“Bet your brother is the reason you two are all alone huh? That or your own parents didn't even want him. That's probably how you ended up with Grillby, huh? You brother lost it and dusted them or just threw him out like trash.” Papyrus went rigid disgusted with Ryan's words.

“Shut up,” Papyrus snapped but Ryan smirked.

“Did I touch a nerve? You going to run home and cry to your daddy again?” Mich let out a fake sob taunting the skeleton.

“He'll probably go tell his brother,” Gek voiced and Ryan seemed a bit nervous but remained confident under his friend's eyes.

“Ha, probably. Surprised you let him out of the house without a leash nowadays.”

“Don't talk about him like that,” Papyrus demanded and Ryan stepped closer.

“Like what? Like he's an animal? Like he's a psychopath? Your brother belongs in a straight jacket, and I bet you'll end up in one too. Only a matter of time as I see it. Your new dad will give up and toss you guys aside like your real parents.”

“No, he won't!” Papyrus shouted, shoving Ryan. Ryan looked surprised but it quickly morphed into a maniacal grin.

“Finally standing up for yourself, Papyrus?” He questioned, sparks shooting from his hand. Papyrus would never give in so easily, but Ryan had never been so personal before either. It hurt him to hear such awful and untrue things. It made him so mad that the bully just spewed these lies. A few children gathered, catching sight of the tension.

“Think you really hurt his feeling, Ryan,” The lizard teased.

“Truth hurts sometimes,” Ryan said with a shrug. “Not my fault your brother's nuts. I just feel sorry for you dad and for you. You're doomed to fall down the same path as him. Then we'll have two crazy skeletons' running around town, but that's not new for you, right Papyrus?” Papyrus watched the monster, sockets narrowing. “I heard you and your brother use to live out on the streets and even ate out of the trash.” His fists clenched tightly, a few children snickering. “You two really are like wild animals. I don't know how you've managed to trick everyone into thinking you two were monsters. I guess sometimes we just forget our place,” Ryan's grin grew, eyes darting behind Papyrus.

Before the skeleton could turn to see, he felt an avalanche of unknown items being dumped on him. The child around him gasped and laughed as two monsters lifted up a garbage can and dumped it onto the skeleton. Papyrus' waited until it was over, staring at the trash below him. Ryan suppressed his laughter, instead of stepping forward to pick up a discarded apple core. He held it out to Papyrus and the skeleton was at his limit.

“Here Papyrus, want a snack?”

Papyrus saw red.

The skeleton punched the reptile in his face and knocked him down. The children gasped around him and Gek and Mich jaws dropped. Ryan rubbed his jaw but laughed as he pushed himself up.

“I've been wanting to break your bones for months.” The reptiles hands sparked by his side. Papyrus stood and raised his hand and summoned a white femur. Ryan charged at him but the skeleton stepped aside and swung around to bash the bone against his opponents back. He let out a yelp and fell over but Gek and Mich came out of their stupor and ran at Papyrus. The skeleton grabbed the middle of his bone and used each end to smack Gek and Mich's face. Ryan scoffed as his friends fell.

Papyrus took a stance his arm raised to strike his bully again. Ryan was prepared, this time, hand already shooting out electric magic as he ran forward. He reached out to shock the skeleton and but the white bone blocked the attack. Taken by surprise, Ryan took a step back and Papyrus summoned a blue bone. The reptilian child looked frightened of the weapon, recoiling away from his opponent.

“H-Hey Pap,” Ryan raised his hands in a sign of peace. “N-No hard feelings, okay? It was just a little joke. I never meant to hurt you.” Papyrus just snarled clouded by rage.

Weeks, months of his harassment. Papyrus stood by and allowed himself to be abused. He let himself be used, manipulated, stolen from, and insulted but never again. Never again would Ryan torment him during lunch. Never again would he bully Papyrus and made fun of him. Never again would he utter Sans' or Grillby's name. Papyrus was done. Ryan had no right to mock him about his past. Sans has given up everything to make Papyrus happy. Sans sacrificed food, warmth, shelter, his own happiness all for Papyrus. He would never forgive Ryan for mocking Sans' sacrifice. No, he'd pay for it.

The skeleton positioned his bone in his hand taking aim. He swung his arm back he launched the blue bone at Ryan without hesitation. Ryan let out a high pitch yelp and cowered petrified of the attack.

Before the attack could hit him, though, a wall bone formed from the ground below and stopped the blue attack. Papyrus growled and prepared another but his wrist was snatched and a voice by his side spoke to him gently.

“Pap.” In seconds, his vision cleared and Papyrus spun around looking at his brother.

“Sans?” The playground was quiet, no child moving as they watched the scene. Sans nodded to the bone Papyrus had forgotten about.

“Drop it.” Papyrus released his hold instantly, the bone vanishing before it touched the ground. Sans took in brother's appearance, expression blank as he dragged his pupils over the garbage staining his sibling. His pupils trailed down to the reptile who stared back at him filled with absolute terror. The elder brother released his brother's hand and stepped in front of him. He continued his advancement and cast aside the bone wall he summoned before he stood in front Ryan. With the flick of his wrist, Ryan's soul was summoned. Another flick and he was turned blue, his body crashing to the ground with a pitiful shout. The skeleton knelt down, pupils vanished as his fingers curled around the child's collar and pulled him to him.

“Sans,” Papyrus voiced warily but his brother held up his free hand silencing his younger sibling.

“I hate you,” Sans told the child voice low practically dripping with venom. “I want nothing more than to take this bone,” a large femur manifested in his grasp, “and pierce your body over and over and over until you are nothing.” Each word earned the reptile a gentle poke which caused him to whimper each time. “And I will,” he pressed down, the bone flat against his scaly skin, “if you touch my brother again.” The attack faded and Sans leaned closer. “If I see you near him again or even hear the rumor of you looking at him, your family will have no dust to mourn over and no one will ever find your ashes.” Sans' magic flared causing his eyes to glow it's brilliant cyan light. “Got it?” Ryan nodded, tears streaming down his scaly face. The skeleton released him and he fell to the ground still under the influence of the blue magic. Sans went back to his brother, brushing away some of the garbage that clung to him.

“Sans?” The elder sibling shushed his brother, looking back over at Ryan's goons.

“Pick up this trash,” He demanded and the two scurried forward to do as he commanded. “Come on, Pap.” Sans grabbed his brother's hand and lead him to the closed playground gate. With a flick of his finger, the gate was opened and pushed aside and they left. Papyrus felt his sibling's body trembling, grip almost painfully tight as he all but dragged him away from the school.

“Why aren't you at Grillby's?” Papyrus asked, tripping over his feet at he tried to keep up

“Because I knew this would happen,” Sans said through clenched teeth.

“Does Dad know?”

“No.”

“You didn't need to come, the teacher would have come.”

“No, they wouldn't, it's someone's birthday and they are all busy gossiping over cake to look out the stupid window. I overheard someone say it on the playground before school. Trust me, I wouldn't have interfered if I didn't have to.”

“Why did you?” Sans stopped, spinning around to grab onto his brother's arms.

“Because you don't ever hit someone, Papyrus.” The younger one scowled.

“You do all the time!”

“I said _you_. You're better than that. You're better than me,” The older skeleton scolded.

“Well, what if I'm not?” Sans' grip tightened.

“Don't,” He warned. “Don't you ever say that about yourself.” Papyrus looked away but Sans released one hand to make his brother face him. “No, listen to me, Papyrus. I don't want you ever saying that, do you understand me?”

“Or what?” Papyrus challenged and Sans mouth fell open but nothing came out. Sans would never hit his brother or shout at him. If Papyrus wished to disobey him Sans had no method of punishing him off he did disobey. Sans had always relied on his voice to work never failing him before.

“You wouldn't ever hit someone, Pap. This isn't you.” Papyrus tried to take his arm away but couldn't.

“I was defending you! You always told me to confront my problem and I did. Why are you so upset that I finally stood up to them? I did it for you! Am I not allowed to change? Do I always have to be the same happy little brother to you? Everyone changes Sans! You know all about change, I hardly even recognize you!” Sans looked hurt, his grip slipping. Papyrus squeezed his socket's shut and sobbed. “I'm sorry!” Papyrus wailed, pushing Sans away. He sobbed, hunched over as his emotions took control. “I-I'm sorry. I just-I just want to go home.” Sans felt his soul ache at his brother's appearance. He reached out, pulling him into a tight embrace willing away his offense from Papyrus' insult.

“I'm sorry, Pap. I'll take us home,” The skeleton promised, picking his brother up. He struggled for only a second, Papyrus had grown a few inches and carting his younger sibling around was proving to be more difficult. Still he managed, wondering how many more moments like this there were. “Hang on, okay?” Papyrus held on as Sans blinked them to Grillby's bar. Sans stumbled a bit as he landed but fortunately the bed was behind him to prevent him from falling over. The older brother set his younger sibling down and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just upset. I shouldn't have directly my anger at you," Papyrus sniffed but Sans just shook his head."

"It's okay, Pap," he mumbled, rubbing his brother's skull.

“Sans, do you want a hotdog for lunch or hamburger?” Grillby swung open the door dividing the back area from the front. He stopped in his tracks, staring at the skeletons before him. “W-What happened?” He rushed forward, kneeling down next to his children. Sans held onto his brother who cried softly in his jacket.

“Bullies,” Sans answered for his brother.

“Did he run home? How did he get here?” Grillby questioned resting a hand on his youngest child but retracted it quickly when he touched a sticky substance.

“I went to the school and got him. I didn't trust them and well...” Sans trailed off trying his best to ignore his brother's off smell.

“What is he covered in?” The flame asked burning off the stickiness on his hand.

“Trash.”

“Tr-” Grillby stopped himself, clench fist resting over his mouth as he turned away. His body heated up and flashed bright red, a large puff of black smoke billowing out of him before he turned to his normal color. Or, normal as of late. “Okay,” he breathed directly his attention back on his children. “Let's get you into the shower, okay Pap? You too Sans.” The sniveling skeleton nodded and allowed Sans to cart him to the bathroom where he helped him undress before turning on the shower and stepping in once it was warm enough. Grillby brought them some spare clothes they changed into once clean of the filth.

The bartender paced outside the door of the bathroom listening to Sans comfort his sibling as he washed away the garbage that was poured on him. The flame became nauseous and had to sit down when he felt ready to pass out. His soul ached painfully but when he heard the door open beside him he quickly stood up and blinked away the sudden wave of sickness. He instead carried his children to the bed where he set them both down. The skeleton curled up together on the bed. Grillby covered them both in a blanket and helped Sans get Papyrus to stop crying and eventually fall asleep. Once fast asleep Grillby could see Sans' face morph into a look of pure hatred.

“Did you...” Grillby didn't finish his sentence knowing Sans understood.

“No, but I wanted to.” The skeleton admitted, bringing his brother's closer. “Papyrus hit them. He was going to attack them with a blue attack. He had a weapon summoned and everything.” Grillby looked shocked but Sans calmed himself down, not wanting to loose his cool and wake his brother. “If it wasn't him, if it wasn't Papyrus doing it I wouldn't have stopped it. Anyone else, and I would have let them attack, let them beat his face in. Not Papyrus, he's too good for that. He can't fall down that path. I won't let him.” Grillby sighed and sat on the bed next to his child.

“You were right, I should have listened to you when you warned me this morning.” Sans had trotted after Grillby to tell him he didn't feel right about leaving Papyrus at school today. He said he overheard the playground aids talking about a party during lunch and didn't trust them. Grillby, however, had believed the principal wouldn't be so foolish as to allow the aid to be distracted by their talk. But as always, he was wrong and because of that Papyrus suffered.

The flame winced as his soul ached and vision blurred momentarily. Shaking it off, he inhaled deeply.

“He's not going back,” Sans said, thumb running along the faint scar Papyrus had from when his skull had cracked.

“He won't,” Grillby assured, slowly rising to his feet. “Do you want me to close for the day? I can take you two home.” Sans shook his head, nuzzling his brother. “You should get some sleep too, kiddo. I'll be back later to check on you two, alright?”

“Okay,” Sans answered and Grillby exited the room bumping into the doorway by mistake but continued to on. Sans snuggled his brother, pressing a skeleton kiss to his skull as his sockets began to droop.

“You okay, Grillby?” One of the bar goers asked loudly. “You're looking kinda purple actually. Hey, maybe you should-” a loud thud sounded from inside the bar followed by the shattering of glass. Both skeletons shot up, grabbing one another's hands as the sound of the chairs scraping against the hardwood floors rang out with concerned voices.

“Grillby?!” Papyrus gasped as the guardian's name was shouted and Sans flung himself out of the bed. The skeletons rushed over to the bar door and tossed it open. Every monster in the small establishment hovered around the bar. Sans pulled his brother close, pupils shrunken and body trembling as he shoved at the taller monsters in his way. Papyrus let out a yelp as a knee collided with the back of his skull and his brother tensed, pulling him closer. His anxiety was growing with each rising voice and his breathing had become heavy. He squeezed onto Papyrus' hand, unable to cut through the crowd.

Sans hadn't been this close to this many monsters in a long time. His anxiety and fear were rising far too quickly. He needed to go.

“Pap,” Sans wheezed becoming paralyzed as a panic-attacked washed over him. Too many people. Too many voices. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. If he didn't escape now he'd lose it. Papyrus squeezed his brother's hand sending a jolt of magic through his bones before letting go to cover the sides of his sibling's skull and taking in a deep breath.

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!” The small skeleton shrieked as loudly as he could. Every monster winced at the high-pitch scream but it worked. The bar got quiet and the crowd made a path for the small skeletons. Papyrus grabbed his brother's wrist and dragged him forward until he spotted their guardian who lay pass out on the ground. Papyrus whimpered and released his brother as he crouched down to examine the bartender.

“Dad?” He asked, gently shaking his guardian's shoulder but got no response. Sans whimpered, kneeling down beside his brother. "Dad? Come on," Papyrus said.

"Grillby?" Sans whispered, his trembling hand delicately nudging his guardian.

“Back it up!” The guards broke through, armor shining and bodies tall.

“Give them space, move!” Dogamy ordered, shoving a few monsters who gawked.

“Space!” Greater and Lesser Dog repeated, blocking the open entrance to behind the bar. 

“Sans? Sans is he okay?” Papyrus grabbed at his guardian's hand panicking. “Dad?” Grillby's flame burnt a dark red and was worryingly warm. He radiated no heat like he normally would and his sickly appearance has the skeletons terrified. Sans soul was racing, bones rattling together as his anxiety spiked. The people, the noise, his brother, his dad, the stress, it was too much. Sans couldn't process it all and felt ready to collapse. He needed to stabilize himself. He needed to breath, ground himself. He needed something-anything to distract him to cling to.

“Boys?” Dogaressa passed through the guard dogs. “Children let me help you-” She stepped closer and Sans swirled around stance defensive.

“No!” Defend. Protect. Guard. No one allowed closer. Everyone was a threat. Sans' couldn't focus on the world around him and his panic blocked all rational thinking. Sans needed to stay stable and he found a way how. He didn't need to focus on the world, only his family. Sans didn't need to know who was in the bar just who got too close. The bar was hazy and blurry but Grillby and his brother were bright and there, all Sans needed to do was protect them.

“Sans please, I know you are afraid that we need to move him to the back. Just let us-” she tried to reach out to touch him but Sans growled eye flaring.

“NO!” He repeated and Dogaressa seemed troubled.

“It's okay,” the female guard member said in a calm tone. “I just want to help.” She raised her paws in a sign of peace but Sans felt no comfort. No one near. Too many people, too many threats. Everyone was dangerous. No one was allowed close. “Grillby needs to be laid on his bed, right? He would be better there, yes?” Once again she was greeted by silence. “I'm going to make sure he gets to the bed and that you two are okay.” She lowered her arms slowly taking a step forward. “Just let us-” Sans brought his hand back and summoned a white bone. He swung forward bashing the attack against the metal legs. Dogaressa barked and stepped away. The other members all advanced causing Sans' hands to glow, blasters already called and pointed at the group. Sans growled in a deep and frightening tone. His pupils vanished, grip painfully tight around his a freshly summoned bone. Dogaressa looked nervous and worried. She stepped back, hand itching to reach for her weapon but she refused.

“He's scared please don't fight him!” Papyrus begged not wanting to leave his guardian's side. “Just stay back!”

“Papyrus please calm him down. We need to make sure Grillby is okay,” Dogaressa told Papyrus but the skeleton just whimpered shaking his head as he glanced at his brother's soul.

“I can't. Please just stay back.”

“Out of my way!” A cream bunny shouted from inside the crowd. “Move it, Tony! Watch the tail, Peggy. Move it! Move it!” Bonnie popped out of the crowd and went up to the guards who blocked her path. “Hey! Let me through I'm family!” She snapped but to no avail.

“No one is allowed-”

“Bonnie, why won't Dad wake up?” Papyrus sobbed frightened by the overwhelming crowd and his brother's unsupportive behavior.

“Hold on Papyrus, don't be scared,” Bonnie called before turning back to the guards. “Why don't you do something useful and get this crowd out of the bar? We got two frightened children who don't need all the attention. I want this bar closed now! Everyone out!” She demanded to glare harshly at the crowd.

“Out!” Doggo repeated, directly the crowd out the door. “Come one, nothing to see.”

“Dogaressa,” Bonnie voiced, “get away from Sans.”

“I need to-”

“You need to get away from that skeleton before that bone ends up through your skull and that blaster fries your soul.” Bonnie pointed out and Dogaressa seemed reluctant but stepped down. “And tell these two to let me pass.” With a wave, the dogs granted the bunny access. She advanced forward but the female dog stopped her.

“Bonnie, I don't think approaching him is a good idea.” The dog warned but Bonnie just turned and frowned.

“What's not a good idea is all you large, weapon wielding guard member hovering around frightened two children. Back up and let me handle this. I've known all three of them longer than any of you and know how to take care of it.” With a small huff, the members did as they were told. Bonnie faced Sans with a soft and sincere smile.

“Sans? Buddy? You in there?” The skeleton directly his hollow gaze at the bunny, teeth grinding together. Her tone. She sounded familiar?

The blaster faded away as Sans focusing more.

 “It's Bonnie. Auntie Bonnie? Grillby's friend, remember?” The bone vanished but the body remained tense. “I know you are really scared right now but everything is going to be okay. I'm going to make sure everyone is okay, you, Grillby, and Papyrus. Alright, Sans? That sound good, buddy? Can you please nod to let me know you hear me?” As his frantic mood faded, the memory of Bonnie's voice and importance slowly began to rise. Sans' small frame slouched as his pupils returned shining brightly. Tears began to form and the skeleton sniffled loudly staring up at Bonnie.

“Why isn't Dad waking up?” Sans asked in a scared and broken tone. Bonnie opened up her arms and he leaped into them sobbing. Picking him up, the bunny walking over to Papyrus, pulling him into a hug as well.

“Everything is okay you two,” she told them rubbing their backs as they cried.

“Why did he collapse? Why won't he wake up?” Sans blubbered out.

“D-Did he fall down?” Papyrus asked and Sans let out a loud wail at the thought.

“No, he didn't fall down. Grillby is not dying.” Bonnie stressed, pulling both children away to look at them. “Grillby is just sick. Your dad is a real piece of work who gets sick if he is stressed too much and doesn't take care of himself. He was just under a lot of stress and it caused him to passed out.” She told the skeleton who both looked sad.

“W-Why is he s-so stressed?”

“Is it our-our fault?”

“No, you two are not to blame. I told you, Grillby is just an idiot.” Bonnie shot an annoyed look to her unconscious friend. “You two don't need to cry, okay?” She brushed her soft paw against their sockets wiping away their tears. “He's just taking a nap is all.”

“Y-You sure?” Papyrus watched his father with a deep frown.

“I'm positive. I wouldn't lie to you two, right?” The skeletons nodded, reaching out to hold one another's hand.

“Bonnie,” Doggo whispered pointing to Grillby.

“The guards are going to move Grillby now, okay?” Bonnie told the children, stepping aside as Greater Dog stepped forward and scooped the flame up. Bonnie followed after him and waited until the bartender was placed on the bed before allowing Sans and Papyrus to detach and huddle next to their guardian.

“Everything all good, Bon?” Doggo wondered and Bonnie sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I got it from here. Thanks, Doggo, everyone. I'll let you know when he's up.” She promised and the group nodded most of them leaving with a goodbye beside Doggo and Lesser Dog who lingered only for a moment to ensure everything was clear before leaving. Bonnie glanced back over at Grillby her mouth pursing into a look of irritation. “Idiot,” she mumbled.

“When is he going to wake up?” Papyrus questioned as Sans removed Grillby's shoes before pulling the blankets over him.

“Probably a few hours,” Bonnie answered pulling out her phone and quickly skimming through her contacts. “Hey, are you two alright by yourself for a minute? I need to call someone who is going to help Grillby and it'll only take a second.”

“We'll be fine,” Sans told the bunny.

“You're going to call a doctor?” Bonnie shook her head, flashing a tense smile.

“Someone even better,” she said as she exited the room to enter the bar. “Someone who can knock some sense into that flames stupid, hot head.” She grumbled pressing the green call button.

“Hello Bonnie dear, how are you?” A cheerful voice greeted and Bonnie smiled forcing her own chipper voice to rise.

“Hey Sulfi,” Bonnie said glancing back at the bar door. “Sorry to call out of the blue and all but your husband wouldn't happen to be home would he?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howedy this chapter was long as shit. Around 30 pages in my word doc and around 17,000 words. It was so long that the idea of editing it all in one go was almost enough for me to cut it in two. Perhaps I should have still but, meh. 
> 
> Story is finally wrapping up nicely. I must admit this bullying thing wasn't in my agenda but neither was half of this story. As it stands now, there is one big plot point left that'll lead into the final chapter and then the epilogue. There's a couple little things I need to wrap up in between to ensure there are no loose ends. But man, all my favorite fanfics are ending and with my own on it's way, it's a little sad.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	40. Better

Grillby awoke with a splitting headache, cold body, and completely exhausted. He blinked a couple time trying to readjust his vision until it was no longer blurry. The bartender turns his head to glance to his right and spotted a very bright, yellow flame with a rather angry expression standing next to him. Completely confused as to why he was both in his barbed and by his brother, Grillby decided he must be dreaming. Resting an arm over his eyes he inhaled deeply trying to will away his splitting headache long enough to figure out what the hell was happening.

“This is a weird dream,” Grillby said aloud.

“You're gonna wish it was a dream,” Flint snapped. The orange flame looked back over his brother unsure of how he got here or why he even was here. “You're a real piece of work, you know that?”

“I'm...What? Where?” Grillby pushed himself up and got a tremendous head rush that caused his aching head to feel like it was about to crack in two. He grabbed his head and cursed as his vision blurred and flame fluctuated in height.

“Stay!” Flint pushed his brother back down, propping him up on some pillows. “You're at your bar, Grillby. You passed out.” Flint told his sibling, grabbing his hand and placing two small, blue pills on his palm.

“I what? Where are my kids?” The bartender demanded, accepted the teacup of bright red tea.

“Sulfi and Bonnie are with them.” Flint glanced at the bar door recalling the two females taking control of the skeleton children. “You scared them half to death.” Grillby swallowed down the pills and finish off the cup.

“Sulf and Bon?” He asked as he pulled away from the drink.

“Your children, actually no both.” Flint quickly smacked his brother and glared. “What the hell is wrong with you?! I told you this would happen!”

“Ow Flint!” Grillby shouted as he rubbed his head. “I didn't mean to pass out. I don't even remember doing so.”

“Of course, you don't you idiot. What the hell happened to feeling fine? You look terrible!” Flint waved to his brother's darkened and warm aura around. “You stressed yourself out so much you got sick. Congratulations brother, you're an idiot.” Grillby rolled his eyes, setting the teacup down.

“Jeez, you really know how to make me feel real special, bro. Should have called you ages ago,” Grillby said in total sarcasm. “I don't know how you manage to-” the flame stopped mid-sentence before his flame sparked weakly. He reached out and grabbed his brother's collar pulling him down to his level. “What the fuck you are you doing down here?! I told you to stay in Hotland! You could set Sans off. Did you? If you did anything to Sans or Papyrus I swear-” Grillby growled, his flame trying desperately to look more threatening but with his current state failed miserably. Flint just slapped his sibling hand away with a frown.

“A candle is more threatening than you right now Grillby. Why don't you do what you've always told me to do and stop being so defensive before you get any worse,” The yellow flame warned. “Sulf!” Flint called and waited a moment before his wife poked her head out of the bar door.

“Yes, dear?”

“Grillby's up,” he told her, stepping away from the door and Grillby. With a gasp, Sulfi retreated into the bar to tell the skeletons.

“Boys your dad's up!” Within seconds, the door was thrown open and both children bolted into his room. Papyrus pounced on his guardian latching onto one side of his neck while Sans crawling up and took the other side. Grillby relaxed with his children close still very confused and tired but the safety of his family brought him much ease.

“Hey, you two.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around each of them. “Are you guys okay?”

“Are you?” Papyrus shot back, pulling away. “I was really worried.”

“We all were,” Bonnie voiced from the doorway. She looked more than unhappy and Grillby knew he was going to get an earful from her once his children were gone.

“I assume you're the one who called them?” The bartender nodded to his brother.

“I thought you could use some more motivation because clearly me telling you to be careful did nothing. Figured I might as well call the one monster capable of dragging your stubborn butt to Flurry before you make yourself worse.” Sans retracted now, staring at his guardian.

“...We'll talk about that later,” Grillby mumbled shooting the bunny a knowing look.

“Nothing to talk about. You got an appointment this Sunday” Flint informed.

“That's in two days,” Grillby said, jaw tight. “I told you I-”

“This isn't up for discussion, Grillby. You're going if I have to get the entire town to drag you there. You passed out! Everyone is worried sick about you and you don't seem to care. You can't keep sinking lowing into this depression. You can't keep hating yours-”

“We'll talk about this later!” The bartender shouted causing his children to back away. With a frustrated sigh, the sickly flame mumbled an apology to his children. Papyrus and Sans both frowned passing one another the same look as Grillby pushed himself up more. He stole a glance at the clock beside him and groaned.

“You two should be in bed,” he mumbled. “Did you eat?”

“We fed them,” Bonnie said. “They wouldn't go to bed until you woke up.” The flame planting his feet on the ground and waited until his head cleared before attempting to rise.

“Grill-” the look the younger brother shot Flint silenced him instantly.

“Dad?” Papyrus questioned and Grillby managed a small smile he offered his children.

“Let's go home, okay? It's almost midnight and we have a lot to do tomorrow.” Papyrus did a poor job trying to cover up his concern as he crawled out of bed but Sans remained watching his guardian intently.

“We can sleep here,” the skeleton stated.

“It would be better to just be home, don't you think?”

“You're sick,” The older skeleton mumbled with a pained expression. “Don't push yourself.”

“Sans please, I'm capable of walking home.” Sans frowned, taking in his guardian's unsteady form. He was going to call his guardian out on lying but his eyes trailed over to Flint.

“He's helping you,” Sans demanded and Grillby huffed. “Grillby,” the skeleton said in a stern voice.

“Sans, honestly.”

“Dad.” Sans tightly grabbed his guardian's sleeve staring at him with wide eyes and a firm jaw. “Please,” he pleaded, expressing just how worried he was.

“Okay,” Grillby said and the skeleton relaxed. He slid off the bed and stood beside his younger sibling both still hovering close to their father.

“Boys come on, let's get your  clean coats on. It's freezing out there,” Sulfi voiced and the brothers hesitantly went over to her.

“It's freezing every day,” Papyrus pointed out and Sulfi chuckled as she led them out of the room. Flint inched closer to his brother who sighed before lifting his hand. At the sign, the yellow flame rushed forward to help him to his feet. Bonnie walked over with his coat and shoes and Grillby slid them both on, resting against his older brother when he lost his balance.

“We'll meet you two outside, okay?” Sulfi called holding the hand of Papyrus as Bonnie took Sans' hand, the two brother's using their own free hand to cling onto each other. Grillby gave them a nod before they left.

“What are you doing down here?” Grillby snapped wishing to be farther away from his brother right now but due to his dizzy spells he couldn't risk it.

“You know what I'm doing here,” Flint replied resting a hand on his sibling's shoulder as he began to lean one directly.

“What happened to waiting?”

“What happened to I'm fine?”

“This is not that same. You could have seriously hurt Sans' stability by showing up.” Grillby rested a hand on the wall as he locked the bar door. “He's so fragile right now Flint.” Grillby faced his sibling with a hard expression. “You don't even know how hard it's been for him. He can't even be around Papyrus at times. Seeing you could have-”

“I'm offended you think I would or even be allowed to just barge in and start running the place,” Flint said cutting his brother off. “Sulfi was the first one in and then she wouldn't let me in until Bonnie said it was fine and made sure Sans and Papyrus were busy with you. Then, I had to wait in the bar until Sulfi and Bonnie both talked to Sans to make sure he was okay and said it was fine to see you. _Then_ , Papyrus stood outside your door and didn't let me in until Sans' calmed down. Not from me by the way, he was freaking out because of you. Plus, the entire time I barely spoke a word to him because he's been avoiding me completely. The only sound he uttered were little noises he made when I summoned your soul. So, brother, your son is fine. I haven't broken him or caused him any psychological harm unlike you, who scared the hell out of both of them.” Grillby looked away, eyes on the snow around him. He stumbled over his feet as he pushed away from his bar and Flint caught him, draping an arm over his weaker sibling's shoulder to stabilize him as they continued to walk.

“I see why you are worried about them,” Flint said after a few moments of silence. “They both seemed pretty out of it and I'm not sure if it's just because they were worried about you or not. But I thought we were past this bickering and hate between us.”

“We are, I just…I don't want them getting hurt.”

“You can't say that when you are the one who hurt them the most right now. The entire time I was there they both looked empty and hardly spoke to anyone other than each other.”

“I told you, things haven't been all that great,” Grillby replied tiredly. “Just…look whatever happens just keep your mouth shut around them. What we talk about,” the flame gestured to them both, “stays between us alright? Don't mention anything I tell you to them. I mean it.”

“Bonnie already spent half of the time calling you an idiot and ranting about what you talked about.”

“They're used to Bonnie. They aren't used to you. If you say anything, you'll worry them. I'll tell them in my own time but not right now. Not with how everyone is.” Grillby thought about Sans' dim soul being held in his bony hands and shivered.

“I won't try to meddle with your family life Grillby. God knows I'm probably more afraid to than anyone else is,” Flint muttered as he saw the house a few yards away.

“Just don't be yourself,” The bartender said and Flint rolled his eyes.

“Comforting.”

Grillby approached the house, aided up the few steps and through the doorway by his brother. Bonnie and Sulfi stood in the living room trying to get Sans and Papyrus ready for bed but they remained still, making sure their father was okay first. The bartender flashed his children a tired smile, nodding his head up the stairs. They climbed up the steps getting ready for bed and Grillby removed his coat and shoes.

“I'll bring these two over tomorrow at ten,” Bonnie informed Grillby. “I expect to find you in bed.” Grillby let out a dry laugh and just held the door open for his guests. “I got a key Grillby, don't test me,” Bonnie said as she exited. Grillby managed a smile as Sulfi passed with a goodbye. Flint lingered glancing at the stairs.

“Flint it's ten feet, I can manage.”

“You couldn't get out of bed without falling over.” Grillby just growled shaking the door and Flint huffed, rolling his eyes. “Goodnight.”

“'Night.” Closing the door, the bartender let out a loud groan. “Finally,” he muttered, visibly relaxing. With a deep breath, he pushed away from the door, leaning on the wall or objects around his home as he turned off lights and ensured everything was locked for the night. He trudged up the stairs, heading straight to his children's bedroom where he found them both laying on the bottom bunk.

“Teeth brushed?” He asked and they both nodded. “You want a story?” They shook their heads and the flame sat on the edge of their bed. “You two okay?” Grillby questioned, pulling the covers over his children.

To say the children were frightened by their guardian passing out was a bit of an understatement. Bonnie had tried her best to calm the two skeletons down but as one's panic and concern grew the other's doubled. The two were gripping onto one another for dear life, trying to comfort the other with frazzled magic that only made it worse. The two eventually had to calm one another down. Sans tried to tell Papyrus that Bonnie was right and that Grillby would be fine while Papyrus tried to tell Sans the same thing. Papyrus was the first one to stop crying but only because Sans was still coming down from his panic attack.

Upon the arrival of the two flames, Papyrus was still bringing his sibling stable. Sans wasn't close to another attack or episode but his racing soul and lingering panic did spark some unwanted voices and horrid thoughts. The things that finally silenced his mind was Bonnie telling the skeleton's that Flint and Sulfi were at the bar. Sans' entire being went still at her words. The bunny was very calm and clear on her explanation as to why she called them but it didn't make Sans feel any less terrified.

His panic returned in full force and Papyrus glared daggers at the bunny who destroyed his hours of work in seconds. The older skeleton was far easier to reason with now more than before. Papyrus actually had a chance to talk to him and try to persuade and reason with him and Sulfi helped as well. Sans had no ill-will or hard feeling with the blue flame and found her presence extremely comforting and immensely reassuring. It was one thing to hear Grillby would be okay from Papyrus and Bonnie but to hear it from a flame was a lot more convincing.

After another hour, Flint was finally allowed into Grillby's room. Sans stayed in the far corner with his brother and Sulfi while Bonnie remained near the bartender. Flint seemed tense and very, very cautious. He tried to offer the skeletons a smile, wanting to be polite. However, the sight of Sans watching him with such wary and frightened eyes prevented him from even making eye contact. All of Sans' movements around him were from a distance and quick. Leaving a room, he'd walk close to the walls and entering a room resulting in him poking barely an inch of himself inside, relying on Papyrus to be his voice and let Flint know they were coming in. Flint was more than accommodating, leaving Grillby's side to stand near the edge of the room to give them space and trying his best to be overall, not a threat or bother. It was hard and uncomfortable, but Sans did at least think about apologizing. He couldn't say he was brave enough to try to, but he did think it.

Sans wasn't aware of what Flint knew about him and his returning habits. Sans had been wary of the flame before but his instability was screaming as it waved a red flag. Sans himself, knew better and didn't want to act so distant and afraid. His panic kept his mouth glued shut but Sans did try his best to seem like he cared by trying to stay in the same room as Flint. Sans could even say he did attempt to wave or make some sort of gesture but it always resulting in the skeleton looking more like he had an odd twitch or was still very much so afraid.

The hours of Grillby's rest were draining in more ways than one. Both skeleton's were exhausted and ready for bed.

“We're okay,” Papyrus answered.

“Glad you're fine,” Sans added and the flame smiled.

“I'm sorry I worried you two. Thank you both for watching over me.” Grillby leaned down, placing a kiss on their foreheads before pulling them into a hug. They returned the embrace with twice as much force. “Love you both.”

“Love you too, Dad,” they both replied and they pulled away. Grillby cautiously stood up, resting a hand on the bed as he did so.

“Goodnight,” he said, turning on their nightlight and switching off the overhead one.

“Goodnight!” They replied and the flame left their room. He entered his own and let out a deep sigh. He quickly changed and got under his covers before leaning to turn off his nightstand lamp. Melting into his bed, the bartender allowed his exhaustion to overcome him ready to sleep for a long time. A gently rattling noise was heard and the flame held his breath. Not hearing the noise again, the bartender decided it must have been his children opening their door more and he rolled onto his back and situation himself once more. Finally almost asleep, his doorknob twisting caused him to peel his eyes open. Staring at the small crack in the door, Grillby could see Sans' bright pupils and Papyrus' brightly colored pajamas behind the wooden surface. Once spotted, Sans pushed the door open a bit more, fidgeting nervously.

“Can we sleep with you?” He asked, squeezing his sibling's hand. Grillby responded by patting the bed. Instantly they stepped in, leaving the door open a crack as they climbed into the bed. Grillby was pushed to the middle as his children took both his sides. With a soft laugh, he wrapped an arm around each of them.

“All good?” He questioned, eyes already shut.

“All good,” Papyrus answered as Sans rolled onto his side, pressing himself against his guardian.

“Don't do that again,” the skeleton whispered and Grillby rested his hand over his child's.

“Promise.”

Grillby slept in the latest that day. No one wanted to bother him and were hoping sleep would help return some color to him as well. Papyrus and Sans had turned off his alarm hovering by the door every chance they got. Sulfi, Bonnie, and Flint all were downstairs for the most part. Sulfi made the boys breakfast and Papyrus took them on a tour of their house pointing out everything from the step he tripped over last week to the wall Sans blasted a hole in. The skeletons were still obviously concerned about their guardian but Papyrus was better at distracting himself than Sans was. It could also be because Sans wanted to stay away from Flint as much as possible. Papyrus would stay downstairs, talking and being social while Sans lingered by the railing or doorways. Bonnie would call him down but Sans sometimes ignored her but never when Papyrus asked.

“Sans want to help Sulfi make cookies? She said they are Dad's favorite!” Papyrus called from the bottom step. Sans set his notebook down and glanced at his guardian's bedroom.

“'Kay,” he replied quietly. Papyrus led his brother to the kitchen where Sulfi was tying an apron around her waist.

Papyrus, for the most part, did all the work. Sans was too distracted to perform too many tasks and would often lose himself in the middle of them. No one called him out on it though and he was thankful for that. Papyrus always brought him back with a smile helping Sans resume his stirring or help him get the ingredient Sulfi asked for. Sans did honestly try to get invested, but he just wasn't feeling it. He wasn't sure if it was because Grillby or not, but Sans found it difficult to pay attention to a lot of things. His mind was too active, focusing on his sleeping guardian, Flint, and Papyrus' still prevalent school issue. He felt like he should be doing something productive and helpful, but also like he wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep for a few more days.

 _**“** _ _**Maybe you're just-”** _

Sans shook his head, willing the voice away. Not now. Not today. Not real.

“You alright, Sans?” Sulfi asked waiting for the child to hand her the bowl of mixed dry ingredients.

“Yes, sorry,” he muttered, stepping closer to hand over the bowl. Sulfi flashed him a bright smile Sans appreciated deeply.

“Sans, can you help me?” Papyrus asked pointing to the top shelve of a high cabinet where a large red bowl was. The skeleton walked over to his brother who stood in the kitchen threshold and nodded. He reached out and encased the bowl with his magic. He lifted his other arm to hold the items on top of the bowl in place as he carefully slides the item out. Sulfi watched with interested, too fascinated by the skeleton's magic to see the yellow flame approaching.

“Hey Sulf, did you leave-” Flint entered the kitchen, gently bumping into Sans who was standing next to the fridge, hidden from view. At the contact Sans flinched away violently, causing the contents of the cabinet to shoot out and clatter loudly against the floor. Other items fell out by the force of Sans' magic, all bouncing again the counter before crashing into the floor. Papyrus yelped, ducking out of the way as a large glass casserole dish shattered on the tile flooring causing the entire house to still.

Sans was frozen, pinprick pupils locked onto Flint. His arms were pressed against his chest, body curved inward. Flint had jumped back as the items fell but remained distant, hands raised. Papyrus watched his brother warily, unable to safely get to him through the field of shattered glass.

“The hell was that?!” A loud voice shouted from upstairs. “Flint!” Grillby stormed down the steps. Sans' tensed up unsure of what made his anxiety grow more, Grillby shouting, his mind telling him he was about to be in so much trouble or Flint. The orange flame appeared into view, brighter than he had been as of late. He took in his frightened child along with the source of the loud crashing that woke him up. He whirled around ready to chew his brother out but Papyrus grabbed his sleeve.

“Sans just got scared. It's not his fault,” he defended and the flame relaxed. He directly his focus back on his child who was grabbing his arm tightly, head bowed. “Flint didn't see him and they bumped into each other. It was an accident, don't be upset.”

“I'm not upset,” Grillby told his son and he knelt down. “Sans? Are you okay?” The skeleton didn't reply. “I'm not upset or angry at you. I just want to know if you are alright. Could you by chance, uh...” He trailed off looking at the field of glass. Sans pupils shot down to it as well. “Could you come here, please? I want to make sure you aren't cut anywhere.” Sans hesitated but nodded. Closing his eyes, he focused on his guardian and allowed his magic to form and blink him over to him. Sulfi gasped quietly, never seeing the sight before. Sans slowly peeled open his sockets, glancing warily at his guardian who slowly reached out to brushed his thumb over his face, tilting it to check for marks

“I'm sorry,” Sans apologized but Grillby just offered his child an empathetic smile.

“It's okay, you didn't mean to. I'm glad you're okay.” Sans' shaky pupils darted between Flint and the floor, teeth clicking together.

“Sorry,” he all but whispered and the flame was shocked for a moment.

“It's-...alright. I should have been paying attention to where I was going.” Flint said as Sans wrapped his arms around his middle. His gaze darted to the floor, every part of his being telling him to bend down and pick up the glass shards but knowing that Grillby would stop him before he even tried.

“Why don't you two go sit on the couch and watch some tv,” Grillby offered, resting a hand on their back to lead them to the couch. “Bonnie can you-Oh, thank.” The bunny already was holding the broom and dustpan in her hands. Sans mumbled out another apology as Papyrus directed him over to the sofa.

“I think you should sit down with them,” Bonnie stated but the flame ignored her.

“Why didn't you wake me up? It's almost one.” Grillby placed the kitchen items on the counter, handing the bowl to Sulfi.

“You needed rest.” The bartender wanted to argue but knew it would be useless. “You're lucky I don't tape you to the bed.”

“Did you make them lunch yet?” Grillby asked, stealing a glance at his children. Papyrus was removing the couch cushions and using them to make a small fort while Sans stood by with a blanket around him and in hand. Sand caught his guardian watching and quickly looked away.

“No, I was going to once I finished with the cookies,” Sulfi answered, whisking the dry and wet ingredients together. Grillby hated to admit it, but having an extra hand around the house did relieve some of his stress. The extra hours of sleep also did wonders for his body and he was brighter and warmer than before. His core was still a bit too dark and tips too light for Flint's liking, but at least he wasn't unconscious. Having someone else does the cooking for his children and watching them was a big weight off his shoulders too, granting him more time to focus on the more pressing issues.

“Did you ever get a hold of those homeschooling teachers?” Grillby asked Bonnie who stiffened as she tossed out the glass.

“Erm...I think that maybe, the Waterfall school is the best choice.” Bonnie did not want to cause any more damage by telling Grillby that Sans had threatened the guard member and even hit one. The rumors were no doubt already spreading and if those bunnies were hesitant before about taking Papyrus in, they definitely wouldn't allow him anywhere near them now.

“Why? Did something happen?” The bartender's flame lowered significantly and the bunny forced a smile, quick to respond.

“No! No, everything is fine. It's just that Papyrus is such a social butterfly. He shouldn't be stuck in some small little place with a handful of children. He needs classrooms, playground, and lots of kids to play with. A homeschool environment is no place for a growing boy, especially one as energetic as Papyrus.” Grillby nodded, thinking over the idea as the bunny relaxed.

“I suppose you are right. But what if this happens again?”

“It won't, Grillby. I already told you the school is very good about these types of things. Monsters from the 'Falls are way less nosey and rude them some folks from around here. Plus with Gerson in the area, most kids are afraid of acting out in fear of getting a smack to the head. The old turtle doesn't tolerate jerks.”

“I suppose, it wouldn't hurt to try.”

“It sure wouldn't!” Sulfi chirped, placing her hands over the tray of cookies before her magic encased them. “I got lunch already planned. Go sit down and spend some time with your children, Grillby. But before you go,” her magic vanished to reveal perfectly baked snacks. She grabbed the plate beside her and plucked the from the tray and placed them on it. “Give these to the boys.”

“Did you put fire flakes in these?” Grillby lifted a cookie, examining the specks of red that shimmered inside them. “Sulf, they aren't flame repellent. You're gonna burn their mouth off.”

“Oh hush, I only added half the normal amount. I couldn't even taste them.” She shoved Grillby out of the kitchen. The flame sighed. He went over to his children's fort and lifted up a corner of the blanket covering it. Sans and Papyrus both looked up at him. He offered the plate and they instantly reached out to grab one.

“Might be a little hot,” he warned. Both children shoved the snack into their mouth while the guardian just took a bite. To him the cookie was delicious, but he watched his sons' faces contort into a sour look. Papyrus' mouth fell open dropping the crumbled sweet onto the ground as it fell from his mouth. Sans held it back looking about ready to follow his brother in spitting it out.

“Grillby,” Sans said looking up at his guardian, “why is it so hot?” The longer he held it in his mouth, the hotter the food got. It was the strangest burn Sans had ever felt. It wasn't spicy like chili or spicy like cinnamon. It genuinely felt as if the skeleton had embers in his mouth. “Grillby!” Sans spat it out onto the ground, fanning at his mouth. “Why was it hot? What is that?” He whined pushing away the plate.

“I warned you it might be a little hot.”

“That's a lot of hot! That's like lava!” Sans complained, rising to his feet. Grillby bit back a smile, mildly amused by Sans' childish complaints. The skeleton whined loudly, fleeing his fort to find something to cool his mouth with. He dashed into the kitchen, bumping into Bonnie as he jumped onto the counter to grab a glass before repeating the movement to fill it up with water. Sulfi looked down at him from her cutting board with a smile.

“Did you like the cookies?” The skeleton groaned around his cup.

“No!” Papyrus answered from the fort. “Dad I don't want her cooking anymore.” Sans agreed from the kitchen by a loud moan. Sulfi just grinned, laughing under her breath.

After a significantly cooler lunch, Flint and Sulfi left when the blue flame said she had an old friend who now worked at the Snowdin Clinic she wanted to catch up with. Bonnie stayed long enough to do the dishes before she departed saying she needed to go babysit for her sister. Once alone in the house the skeletons and bartender all relaxed and basked in the silence of their home for a good hour. The peace and quiet was so calming and relaxing that Grillby almost regretted having to break it.

“Hey, Pap?” Papyrus opened a socket, resting on Sans' back who had a book in front of him. “Can I talk to you about school?” Papyrus moaned but rolled onto his side his eyes both open.

“What about it?”

“I want to talk to you about transferring to a different one. Bonnie thinks the Waterfalls have a great school you'd like but I want you to look over it and the other choices first.” Papyrus grunted as he sat up letting out a yawn.

“I'll go to that one, it's fine.”

“But you don't know anything about it. What if you don't like it?”

“It can't be any worse than this one, right?” Sans frowned, looking away from his book to nudge hid brother who just rested against his sibling. “I'll transfer to that school.”

“Why don't we look it over first, okay? I'd rather you know what it's like first before just going. It's farther than the one in Snowdin and I'd like you to at least see if you can do the walk by yourself first.” Papyrus just nodded, slowly rising to his feet and stretching.

“Can we go now?”

“Now? Uh...” Grillby glanced at the clock and his flame crackled. “Not now, I don't think I'm up for the river ride. How about we go after Sans' appointment on Wednesday?” The skeleton nodded and laid back down, curling up next to his sibling. Another round of silence took over but it felt more uncomfortable than before. Grillby looked up from his book to find Sans staring at him. They held a gaze but once knowing Sans was not going to back down Grillby set his book down.

“Something wrong?” Sans' eyes roamed away from his guardian's face and more to his flame.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I look as if I am not?”

“You got darker spots passing through you.” Grillby looked at his exposed arms not noticing the spots.

“Still not one hundred percent better yet.”

“Do you need something?”

“No I'm fine, just a little under the weather is all. Having everyone around helped relieve a lot of stress.”

“If they leave will it go back up?”

“No, I won't let this happen again.”

“You really scared us,” Sans muttered. “I didn't know what to do and Pap was really freaking out. I did too and I hit Dogaressa in the leg. Bonnie was really upset with you.”

“She has a right to be. I did something I shouldn't have and although I can't say I don't regret it too much right now I probably will after seeing Flurry.”

“Do you not want to see Flurry?”

“No, it's just that I don't want to leave you two alone. With everything that's been going on I don't want to make it any worse by leaving though, it seems like being around made it worse.”

“It's not your fault.”

“It's no one's,” Grillby finished and Sans nodded staring down at his book. “Are you alright?” Grillby turned the questioned around. “You got a bit of a fright earlier.” Sans frowned down at his book.

“...I don't mean to be nervous around him,” Sans muttered.

“I know you don't.”

“But he doesn't.” Sans peered up at his guardian. “I...” He clicked his teeth together hands curling around the carpet. “I think I want to...want to start the new medication,” he managed to get out and Grillby sat up. “It'll help me and I'll have to take it eventually but if it'll help you feel less-”

“Don't do this because of me Sans or anyone.”

“It's not like that,” Sans insisted, staring at his guardian with a firm expression. “I am scared and nervous but that'll never go away. I-...This isn't about me trying to please you or make your life easier. It's-This, it's been more of a reminder or a push forward. It's made me want to because I...I can be better. I can be better for both of you or for everything.” He looked down at his sleeping brother. “You won't have to watch me. I won't be as upset. I won't be as unstable. If the drug can work this time then it...it'll help. I won't feel so depressed and I won't have to ignore the voices. The world won't be unstable and reality won't seem so distant anymore. This never ending uncertainty and apprehension about everything won't be there anymore. I won't have to try to find an escape but be able to make one myself. I want to be there for Papyrus and be a brother he is proud of and not what everyone thinks I am. I want to be able to be in a room with someone who isn't you two. I want to be able to look at Flint and not be afraid. And you won't...you won't have to worry about me leaving or-or dying. I-Th-This it's...it had...it's given me the push I needed because I'll always be afraid. I'll always fear the worst. I'll always be who I once was. There's no getting rid of that there is only learning to cope with it.”

Sans squeezed his sockets shut and took in a deep breath.

“This is going to sound bad and I won't want it to. But, I don't want to be like you. I don't want to scare you guys and give you more reasons to worry. I already did two days ago and I...I feel so bad about it. It's scary. This...this feeling. That feeling of someone you really care about being hurt and you don't know if they'll wake back up. You start thinking about them and how they can vanish and your soul hurts so much you actually start crying. I-I don't want Papyrus to feel that. I don't want you two feeling like that because of me. I know that Flint must have been so worried about you. Having his brother almost taken from him I-” Sans shook his head. “I couldn't imagine. I don't even want to. I can't even picture a world without Papyrus and just the thought of him-” His shoulder shook as he repressed a sob. “I won't put him through that. I won't be like you. I can't. I don't care how bad it gets, if the thought of Papyrus being hurt affects me this much, I can only imagine what it'll do to him and I can't ever put him through that. I can't put you through that. I'll take the pills, I'll do whatever it takes. I just want to make sure you two never have to worry about this again. Not from me.”

Grillby was silent, unsure of what to really say. Sans sniffled, wiping at his face as he calmed himself down.

“Thank you.” The skeleton said.

“For what?”

“For not lying to me. It...it makes me feel better...easier to talk.” Grillby reflected on his earlier conversation and his flame waved.

“I...guess I don't feel like I need to anymore. I never wanted to lie like this.”

“You never needed to,” Sans argued and Grillby nodded.

“Yeah, but I guess I-”

“-didn't want to add on more stress.” They finished at the same time. Sans flashed his guardian a small smile.

“We all need to work on that,” Sans said, fingers tracing over his book.

“We'll do,” Grillby agreed, resting against the couch and letting out a small laugh. “We really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be kinda lengthy so don't feel obligated to read. The shortened version is: Sorry updates have been slow. Life sucks. Being an adult is hard. Can't find time to write.
> 
> Sorry I only had time to look over around half of this chapter so sorry for the errors. I know that errors are pretty common for me since my grammar isn't the best. On top of my poor grammar, I do reread my work to try to catch some mistakes, however, they still slip through. I have a mild case of dyslexia and unless I trace my finger across my laptop screen and read aloud, I will most definitely overlook some mistakes because I just don't see them or my brain thinks Sand is how you always spell Sans. That is why I have been checking these chapters on my phone recently once giving them a quick scan on my computer. Having them be in smaller portions and larger text makes it easier for me to see errors and to correct them. But, it does take longer since reading a larger chapter on a phone seems ten times longer than on a computer. I have been going back and fixing little spelling errors and such in previous chapters (currently on 20) and jeez, it's bad heh...Reading has never really been my stronger skill shockingly. I do love reading a lot and own a small library of books, but I'm very slow at it and editing this chapter only half way took an hour and it's on the shorter side. Last chapter took me over five. It's not even a situation I can solve with a beta because I type sentances like "Grillby grabbed the the door to hims Snas room." and I can't send an entire chapter of those sentences to someone because fucking hell, no one should have to go through that...I'm not typing all this to let you guys know of my horrid reading and grammar skills but to let you know one of the reasons updates have been slow.
> 
> The other is my fun little friend depression. I know normally updating chapters as long as mine for most fanfiction authors takes a month or couple weeks usually so for me to pop one out in a week or less is kinda pushing it for some, but still. I'm the kinda guy who likes keeping things moving because if I don't then I allow myself to make excuses and to draw stuff out. This month has kinda been testing me to the limits, though. I've been trying to work on future skills that'll get me a paycheck one day and bring me closer to being an adult and that sadly means not spending three hours+ writing a chapter and even more editing one. On top of the magical world of adulthood, my own depression had kinda been ever so gently attempting to split my head open with its sharpened claws of misery. My down days have become more prevalent than not making the thought of doing pretty much anything seem like so much work that I just crawl back under the covers or just jump out my window.
> 
> But, I'm working on it. This junk's never easy to just get over, but allowing it to linger above me isn't an option or at least not a healthy one. So please, do excuse my behavior and updates. Down days come but they also pass...Thank you all for the comments and support. Sorry this chapter is kinda fillery and bleh but more is on the way.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	41. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys wanna know what the hardest part about writing is? Fucking chapter titles. That's it. One damn word takes me twenty minutes of "the fuck...how do I summarize-!...shit that word is taken..." before I come up with it. It's the worst

 Grillby frowned down at the bottle in his hand his orange flame flicking in annoyance.

“It's not that bad,” Flint commented hoping to cure his brother's slump as they walked to his home.

“I know but I'd prefer not to have to take it,” Grillby replied turning over the antidepressant bottle in his hand.

Grillby had decided and was forced to take Flint with him to his meeting with Flurry. The flame didn't want his sibling to be with Sans without him but Flurry was always a fan of the brothers. She had tried her best to get them to rekindle and Grillby thought she'd enjoy telling Flint off when he wasn't being supportive. The therapist would no doubt be happy that the brothers had been able to begin to rebuild their broken bond and were on speaking terms once again. Papyrus wished to come along as well and even Sans seemed reluctant to see his guardian leave without them but with some reassuring words and promises they both allowed the flame to leave. Sulfi and Bonnie both promised to not burn the house down without them and then led Sans and Papyrus back inside with the promise of nice cream.

The meeting itself had been everything Grillby had expected it to be. After being to as many session as he had with Flurry, the fame knew her style well. He could practically hear what she'd say to him before she even spoke it but still, nothing really sunk in until she said it herself. Grillby's therapist was blunt and honest in the best way possible. Flint always argued with Grillby because the two would often end up saying the same thing to the bartender yet he was always the one who got yelled at. Grillby would always respond by informing his brother that Flurry always finished her rude comments with a solution, while Flint finished his with a scowl.

The session ran longer than usual for Grillby had to explain a lot more details in order to fully explain his feelings. He had to briefly tell his therapist about Papyrus and Sans and the issues they were going through but Flurry constantly cut him off. When Grillby tried to go into the details further his therapist continued to stop him.

“I don't care,” She said. “Go back to you.”

“But, this concerns me,” Grillby noted, not understanding why Flurry was not allowing him to express something so important to him.

“No, it doesn't. That is them, not you. I'm not here for them and their problems, but you and yours.”

“Their problems are my problems, I'm their father.”

“You make them your problems. Stop doing that,” Flurry told the flame as if it was some easy task. Flint glanced between the two keeping his mouth shut.

“Exactly how am I suppose to? They are my children. I'm supposed to be there for them. I'm supposed to help them,” Grillby told his therapist.

“That doesn't mean...” Flurry sighed and sat up, resting her hands on her knee. “Grillby, it would on thing to expression concern about it like a normal parent. You worry about your children, you are allowed to, you should. What you aren't allowed to do is consume yourself with that worry. You have been pinning all this blame on yourself. You have been weighing yourself down by trying to solve every problem they have, worry about any problem that may occur, and blame yourself for every problem that has already happened. That, Grillby, is what you do. You take on too many tasks, fail, blame yourself for that failure, and try to prevent any from happening again without realizing it's your obsession that is causing it. It's a cycle. You only continue to get lower and lower because you focus less on you and the reality around you and more on the problems that are actually already fixed. Papyrus is no longer in that school, issue resolved. The bullying is gone, issue resolved. Sans has regressed and become unstable but is willing to go back on medication and actively goes to therapy. His issue will be resolved. Your children's troubles are over or are slowly fading away. They are no longer your problems. These issues,” she air quoted the word, “are far from being anything close to the word. They are past problems you refuse to let go and are using to hurt yourself.”

“But they could happen again. I was careless before and they happened. If I'm careless now they could repeat themselves.”

“Anything could happen again. Another war, another broken bone, another bullying incident, another panic attack. Yes, these things could happen, but you don't live your life expecting that. You can't prevent it from happening. You stop it from continuing. If Papyrus is bullied again he'll know what to do and you will know what to look for and how to resolve it. If Sans has another incident you'll help him like you always have been and get him the treatment he needs. You already know how to resolve these issues Grillby. This is why I'm telling you to stop talking to me about your children because I could care less right now. Their problems are not yours. Understand that right now. Sans' panic attacks are not your panic attacks. Papyrus' bullies are not your bullies. Their battles aren't yours. Stop acting as if they are. Stop trying to point every finger at yourself when it isn't even about you. You aren't helping anyone out by trying doing this. It's your job as their parents to be there for them, not save them from every scrapped knee. You can't be there for them if they lie and don't tell you, that is on them. You and your job for them is to notice that scrapped knee and treat it. Tell them to be more careful, put a bandaid on it, and move on. Next time, they'll come to you and if they don't you'll notice the limp in their walk and be there again to with another band-aid. That is your job Grillby. That is it,” Flurry finished. She sat back and crossed her arm, face a blank as usual.

“Now, stop telling me about your children and their problem and start talking to me about yours.”

Grillby found it extremely stressful and agitating every time Flurry cut him off when he started to divulge into topics not relating to himself. If Flurry didn't call him out Flint did and when Flint called him out he got chewed out by Flurry for not being supportive. Watching Flint's head sink like he was being scolded by his parent did make Grillby feel a bit better.

The bartender was painfully aware of his inability to let things go or see that the blame was not his own. He had done this with Flint for so long and that only reason he stopped was because it was clear that Flint was the cause of the problem. Grillby could never blame his children for this, though. It wasn't their fault, it was his-...it was someones. Maybe his but maybe not. Grillby wanted to blame himself, but with Flurry telling him every second it wasn't he wanted to agree just to get her to shut up.

By the end of the session, Flurry suggested Grillby be put back on antidepressants until his life at home was more stable. Although Grillby needed to work on not pinning the blame on himself, it was something he never really knew how to stop doing and because of that, the medication was needed.

“It's only until things settle down.” Grillby pocketed the pills looking at his brother. “It's only a month Grillby. You were on it for years.” Flurry had only given the bartender a months supply and scheduled another appointment when that ran out to check in. Still, even a month felt too long.

“And I've been off it for years too. It's kind of depressing to be back on it since I worked so hard to not be. I shouldn't need it.” The drugs themselves were fine. They did their job and Grillby couldn't fault them for it. He wasn't exactly a fan of the feeling he got when on them. He always felt too sleepy and also numb. He hoped with a lower dosage the effects would be less but the flame wasn't hopeful.

“Well, you do and there is nothing wrong with that. It's not even like you need it forever either. You stress yourself out too easily, it's just a little pick me up,” Flint said nonchalantly and his brother' flame flickered agitated.

“Don't act like you know what it feels like to be on it, Flint. It's not a little pick me up,” Grillby grumbled. “It's not a happy pill.”

“I know but, ugh, don't take your frustration out on me, Grillby. You know what I meant.” Grillby just rolled his eyes and went to open the front door but his brother stopped him. “Wait, should you...take one now?” The bartender stared. “You know to...help relieve stress?”

“You really don't know what it's like,” Grillby said in total amazement of his brother's ignorance. “Fun fact Flint, it takes an hour or two to work. Bonus fact, it makes me tired so I take it at night. I'm surprised you have already forgotten that considering you would always wake me up at twelve in the morning to remind me.” Flint looked away and Grillby ran a hand threw his flamed head. “Okay, you're trying to be protective again. I'm fine. They are fine. Everyone here is fine. Nothing bad is going to happen so just relax,” the bartender told his sibling who didn't look convinced.

“I don't want to sound rude Grillby, but can you honestly say that with how unstable Sans is?”

“Flint, with everything that has been happening to that kid lately what happened yesterday isn't even a problem. If anything, it's a good thing because he's trying to stabilize himself. He doesn't want to be afraid around you and he wants to try to be more involved. So let him be involved and please, I ask of you as your brother, don't be an ass.” Sans was making incredible progress and Grillby was beyond proud of his child. However, it wasn't easy for Flint to see that. Sans had always been skittish and nervous around him and the yellow flame didn't know the progress Sans had made and wasn't able to see just how far he has come. Sans was trying very hard to be in the same room as Flint which everyone supported and praised him for, even Flint wasn't that blind but still, he could never compare.

“Grillby, honestly.” Flint frowned, clearly annoyed by his brother's comment. “Have I not been?”

“You've been good, and I'm very proud of you for that,” Grillby smiled, resting a hand on his brother's shoulder. Flints shrugged it off.

“Don't treat me like a child.”

“Then don't pout like one.”

“I'm not pouting!”

“Of course, you aren't. But remember, brother, everything is fine.” Grillby opened up the front door as he spoke and instantly jumped back as Papyrus flew by encased in a blue aura. The skeleton giggled and cheered soaring through the air. Sulfi stood next to Sans studying a blaster he had formed while the skeleton was busy focusing on guiding his sibling like a plane. Bonnie was on the couch with her feet on the table chatting idly with Sulfi.

“Faster!” Papyrus cried, flailing his arm.

“Not too fast, be careful,” Bonnie called not paying attention to the children as Sulfi walked around the blaster.

“So he just summons these whenever?” Sulfi asked and Bonnie nodded, tossing in a small shrug.

“Oh yeah, all the time. Usually, they are firing though but Grillby wouldn't want another hole in the wall. Kid's a prodigy when it comes to magic.” Sans tossed Papyrus into the air and let his magic leave. Papyrus let out a loud squeal as he began to fall but was caught with the skeleton's magic and clapped asking to do it again.

“Oh well, all skeletons are. But I have never seen this before!” Sulfi ran her hand over the bone skull. “My assistant would be so jealous. You remember Plum, right Bon?” Sulfi looked away from the blaster to stare at her friend but her attention was stolen when she spotted the two confused flame brothers in the doorway. “Welcome home you two!”

“Faster Sans!” Papyrus demanded but his brother froze. The blaster vanished and Sulfi stumbled a little, releasing a sad sound. Papyrus remained in the air but still not on the ground. “Sans I said fast-Oh, hi Dad!” Papyrus waved before he was set on the ground, Sans' magic vanishing from sight.

“Hey,” Grillby said still perplexed. “Uh...What's up?” Sans hung his head gripping onto the end of his parka.

“Sor-” Sans was cut off my the blue flame.

“My fault Grillby but really, no harm was done,” Sulfi voiced casually. “You've kept so many secrets about my nephews from me I was just dying to know more about them. Honestly, though, shame on you for keeping Sans' magic so contained! There's a school at the capital you know for the magically gifted! A brilliant school with such gifted children. A coworker of mine has a daughter who attends and she says nothing but good things. Sans here would be such a wonderful addition!” Sulfi grinned, resting a hand on the skeleton's shoulder. Sans shrunk away from it looking pained. “And Papyrus as well! He no doubt has just as much potential, all skeletons do!”

“Um...Sans usually isn't too interested in expressing his magic like that,” Grillby said passing a glance at his child. “I don't really ever see him doing it so casually,” he admitted and the skeleton began tugging on his sleeves.

“I just-”

“Oh Grillby, you know once I am interested in something I can't let it go. Both of your children are darling angels and after seeing Sans display his magic yesterday I knew both were capable of so much! I wanted to look them over and see what they can do maybe help them even. It can be startling at times for monsters developing their magic but they both have such wonderful control over it! Sans has magic I didn't even know was possible. Honestly, I have no idea how we don't have any notes or something on it from any skeleton ancestry. You might not know their parents but skeleton monster magic is genetic. Passing the same magic down again and again so Sans must have gotten his gifts from his parents perhaps the mother's side. Female are more magically gifted with skeletons.” Sans now looked uncomfortable, his body becoming tense as his teeth started to grind together. Genetics. Sans had no genetics history. His magic was created by Gaster. His body was created by Gaster. He was created by Gaster. His life wasn't formed by two monsters who loved each other. He was made in a lab out of soul energy, DNA of human remains, Gaster's magic, and determination. Sans' magic was similar to Gaster's. As a younger child, Sans recalled Gaster teaching Sans magic and getting him to summon bones like he had. But the idea of him being close to Gaster in any way made Sans ill. To think Gaster was his father and that Sans was his son, a version of Gaster with his magic, his being, _him_ , inside of his bones made Sans' soul want to shrivel up.

“I'd rather you didn't bring that up around them,” Grillby confessed, picking up on his child's growing nerves. Papyrus stepped closer to his brother as well, Bonnie sitting up on the couch.

“Oh yes, I'm sorry. If they were on the streets their biological parents must be a touchy subject. However, Grillby have you spoken to anyone about that? It must be hard to discuss but if their parents were abusive it cannot be kept hidden. The guard is more than willing to look into the matter. You may be their parent now but whoever was there before is still out there.”

Sans teether rattled together, an uneasy feeling passing over him. It was so foreign for him to be around people who didn't know his story. He was so use to being around Grillby, Bonnie, his doctor's, and Papyrus that he had forgotten other's weren't aware of his past. To them, they were abandoned children with parents, past homes, past lives. Sans had none of that. There was no home to return to. No family that waited for him. The labs were not his home and Gaster would _never_ be his family. The very thought made him want to vomit, an icy shiver dripping down his spine. When on the streets Sans reflected on his past religiously. The families he saw and upset him and confused him. He spent countless night panicking and stressing over the horrific idea that he'd turn into Gaster because of his makeup. Sans had managed to push those thoughts away with his need to focus on Papyrus and as Grillby became more of a focus the idea of who or what Gaster was faded quickly into a bad dream. Now with Sulfi focusing on his past, his genetics, his being Sans was reminded of who and what he technically was and it overwhelmed him.

“We-” Sans wanted to tell Sulfi he had no past family but was once again cut off by the blue flame.

“Unless of course the issue has-”

“Sulfi!” Flint called silencing his wife. “Stop cutting him off.” He gestured to Sans who started at Flint with wide sockets. “Let him speak, you cut him off like four times.” Grillby gawked at his brother and Sulfi placed a hand over her mouth.

“Oh, I'm sorry Sans. What were you trying to say?” Now in the light, Sans' voice vanished. He was paralyzed and all thought and voices evaded him. He felt someone take his hand in an attempt to comfort him but with the attention and rising panic he could not focus on it.

“Grillby is our only parent,” Papyrus said, standing by his brother, removing him from the spotlight and eyes of the monsters around him.

“Of course, he is. Grillby will always be your father but biologically that isn't so.” Sans let out a whimper, more frustrated with himself than anything else. He just wishes Sulfi knew already so she could drop the topic. The more she continued the higher his anxiety grew. It caused him to think of the possibilities and the what if's. The times were Gaster wasn't a horrible creature and could even be considered fatherly, but he wasn't. They were lies. Those were tricks. He wasn't anything. He was only his nightmare and nothing more.

**“How sad, do you not-”**

Sans shook his head, willing away the voice and Grillby's back straightened up causing Flint's flame to shrink in concern.

_**“Can't ignore the facts, freak.”** _

Papyrus squeezed Sans' hand reminding his brother of his presence.

“We-...We don't have parents,” Papyrus stressed and Sulfi looked confused. “We just don't.” Papyrus gave his brother a look for help, still not sure of the complications of Gaster's relationship. “I don't think he was our parent, we never called him one. He wasn't like you or Grillby. He wasn't...nice.” Sans' fist curled up. Gaster was so much worst than not nice. Gaster was evil, cruel, a nightmarish beast.

**“So cruel.”**

“Some parents aren't,” Sulfi told them in a sad tone and Sans felt a wave of anger wash over him. “Was your father-” Grillby stepped forward ready to cut Sulfi off when Sans snapped.

“He's not our father!” Sans shouted, startling the flame. “He'll never be our father! We don't have parents! We weren't made out of two monsters' love and don't have parents! We weren't born we were created! He created us and hurt us. He's not our father! He is our torturer and abuser! We were never his children we were his experiments! We were his lab rats to be used and dissected! He broke us! He used us! He destroyed us! We will never be related! We aren't his experiments anymore! We can't be related! We won't ever turn out like him! I-I can't-H-He's-” tears began to form in the child's sockets, “-Gaster isn't-” Sans was cut off by a sob that escaped him. He rubbed at his sockets, trying to wipe away the tears as he shook, releasing small sobs. Grillby appeared behind his child and picked him up. Sans cried, clinging onto the flame. “H-He's not rel-related, Grillby. H-He can't be. He can't.”

“Sh,” Grillby hushed, rubbing his child's back as he mumbled to himself. “He's not, kiddo. Deep breathes, everything is okay.” Bonnie rested her paw on Sulfi's shoulder, the flames body a dark blue.

“I wasn't...” She trailed off visibly broken over Sans' outburst.

“It's okay,” the bunny told her friend as Grillby climbed the stairs Papyrus on his trail. “You didn't know, it happens.” Flint went over to his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and leading her over to the couch. “He's not used to folks not knowing everything,” Bonnie said to the flames.

“Bon,” Grillby called from the stop of the steps. He gave the bunny a knowing look, hand still rubbing his child's back. “Keep it down, okay?” Bonnie nodded and Grillby entered his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Sans took a moment to calm down enough to be understood, one hand gripping tightly onto Grillby's shirt while the other used his sleeve to wipe away his tears.

“I-I don't want to-to be like him,” Sans sobbed. “The-” his entire body rattled as he cringed. He shook his head unable to form a sentence.

“Sans, sh, please,” Grillby took hold of one of Sans' hands and held it. “Breath, focus on the room, Sans. Just take in a deep breath for me, okay?” Sans tried a couple of times each one ending with a hiccup or sob before he managed to take in one deep but shaky death. “Sans, can you tell me what color Papyrus' shirt is?” Sans sniffed and peeled open his socket to look at his brother. Papyrus let his sibling view his shirt offering a smile.

“Y-Yellow.”

“What about your shirt?” Papyrus asked and Sans examined his own shirt.

“Green.” Sans watched Papyrus with a distant gaze. Carefully he reached out and hugged his younger sibling tightly. Papyrus returned the hug even as minutes passed by.

“There use to be this boy in my class last year who didn't look like either of his parents,” Papyrus said nuzzling his brother's skull. “They were both these really pretty bunnies with white fur and dark eyes like Bonnie. He has green eyes though and had black fur. He even acted differently too. His parents seemed really nice and friendly and always smiled while the boy, I forgot his name, he was always frowning and not really inviting.” Papyrus pulled away enough to rest his forehead against his brother's with a soft click of their bones bumping. “Whatever we are made of or how doesn't matter. Who we choose to be and how we are is different from whatever it was that made us. The kid turned out completely different from his parents just like we won't ever turn out to be like Gaster. There's nothing we can do about who or what made us. But we can do our best to let him and everyone else knows we will never be like Gaster and we'll show them.” Papyrus curled intertwined his fingers between Sans' his magic pulsating between them. Sans formed a small smile, pupils brightening up.

“Why do people always think I'm the smart one? You're the smartest thing in this entire word.” Papyrus flashed his warm and comforting smile. The smile that always made Sans' problem just fade away as if they were never there.

“You just always forget how bright you are,” Papyrus said as he gently poked his brother's chest over where his soul was. Sans glanced down at his soul and his smile fell slightly. Papyrus just shot a small spark of his magic to his brother watching as his soul responded to it before fading.

“Sorry,” Sans muttered with a small hiccup. “I'm sorry for overreacting.” Grillby just shook his head, gently rubbing Sans' spine.

“It's okay, Sans. She didn't know and I should have intervened.”

“No, not just her but-everything. The-The magic and shouting and crying. I just panicked.”

“Sans, I'm not bothered by you using your magic. You can do whatever you want with it as long as you are careful. I was just surprised, that's all. You don't ever use it so casually,” Grillby said wondering why his child felt the need to apologize for such a harmless act.

“You said you don't want us using reckless magic in the house,” Sans countered recalling his guardian's words.

“Yes, but that was because Papyrus made a hole in the ground summoning bones. The magic you two have displayed had always been rather violent. I didn't want the house falling on you two because you managed to break the walls down. If you want to play around with your brother that's okay. As long as you two don't end up getting hurt or the house doesn't get destroyed it's fine. Reckless magic isn't every type of magic. It's like me using my magic to cook versus using it to set the carpet on fire. A little magic wasting is good for you. I don't mind if you need to waste some energy as long as you don't break anything while you do it,” the bartender reassured.

“Does it bother you?” Sans wondered and Grillby's flame curled.

“Your magic?” Sans nodded. “No, it doesn't bother me. Magic is magic.”

“Mine's always violent,” the skeleton muttered looking down at his fingers.

“Not always,” Papyrus voiced, smiling softly. “You use to do all sorts of fun things with your magic outside. You use to do that thing,” Papyrus cupped one hand and used the other to act as if it was dragging something away from his palm, “with the light? It would be dark and you'd do that light thing.” Papyrus wiggled his fingers around and Sans let out a small laugh as shook his sleeve back. The tips of his fingers were encased with his magic that he cast out of his tips in small glowing dots. They faded as quickly as they formed, his magic not nearly as powerful in such a small and distant form. Papyrus grinned, though, nodding eagerly as he watched the small glowing lights float up a few inches before fading away.

“Yeah!” Grillby leaned cover, gently flicking the smallest spark into the magic balls causing them to disperse with a small hiss as they collided and quietly exploding like a firework. Papyrus giggled and the corner of Sans' mouth turned upward as Grillby' continued to mix their magic together. Sans formed a bright ball and cast it out, once the bartender's ember struck it the magic collision released a loud pop and Sans chuckled.

“Wanna see something cool?” Grillby offered and Sans looked up at him.

“Yes!” Papyrus answered excitedly.

“Let me see your hand.” Grillby extended his own as an offering waiting for Sans to take it. The skeleton carefully extended his hand, resting it gently on his guardian's. Grillby entertained their fingers tapping his index finger against his child's bone. “Ready?” He asked, waiting for a nod before their two hands were set ablaze. Sans gasped and tried to pull away from Grillby's thumb stroked his hand reassuringly and the skeleton relaxed. The fire was warm but did no damage and didn't even hurt. Sans watched curiously with his sibling as Grillby fiddled with the flame causing it to shrink and grow for his children's amusement.

“Summon your magic like before but your entire hand,” Grillby instructed. Sans did as his guardian asked. His skeleton hand was encased with his blue magic glowing faintly in his guardian's orange flame. Instantly, the flame between them grew and burnt a brilliant cyan blue. Papyrus' jaw fell as he gawked at the bright flame. Sans too looked impressed, his sockets wide and shining as they stared at the fire. “Hey,” the flame called gaining his children's attention. They both gasped and leaned back as their guardian's face and body were both the same color of Sans' magic. Grillby laughed loudly, his normal color returning minus their linked hands.

“How'd you do that?” Papyrus asked and Grillby shrugged allowing the fire between Sans and him vanish.

“Just a little trick. I need the spark of someone else's magic, though. It acts like a match if you will.”

“Can we do it?” Papyrus asked holding out his hand but it was encased with an orange glow. “Oh.”

“Practice your blue more,” Sans told his brother, taking his hand and shooting a few stands of dark blue magic into it. Papyrus whined, he was only good at his blue magic when it came to self-defense.

“Feeling better?” Grillby asked Sans quietly as Papyrus tried to focus all his energy on creating a dark blue glow. Sans nodded, tossing a glance at the closed bedroom door.

“Should I apologize?”

“You don't have to. Sulfi just gets too curious and can be a bit insensitive. She doesn't mean to be but she chose her job for a reason. She loves monsters and learning all about them. You two are probably different from anything else she has information on.”

“Is there really no information about us or anything? Did Asgore not find anything in the lab?” Sans asked and Grillby cursed.

“Shit, I was supposed to call Asgore!” He pulled out his phone but stopped not really wanting to talk to the king. “He got in but apparently everything is in Wingding.”

“There's still stuff left?” Sans asked unsure of whether he should be terrified or not. He wanted to be but the fact that there was information left behind spiked his curiosity.

“I think. Asgore said that a lot of it was just missing. Paragraphs were gone and a lot of it was just not there. Most of it was empty or blank but what he does have he wants to...look over.” Sans' brow bone furrowed in confusion. Look it over? Why would he need to do that? It didn't concern him. It was about Sans and everything he had gone through. No one needed to see that!

“What does he have? What is he going to do with it? Are their audio files? Photos? I don't want anyone seeing them!” The thought of the information in his file getting out horrified the skeleton. Gaster's notes had everything on them, every test, study, trial. They contained years of documented data. That wasn't Asgore's to look at. That was his. That was Sans' file. He should be the only one to ever look at it.

“Sans, breathe,” Grillby told his child who's breathing had becoming erratic. “He's not going to show anyone what he found. It's still a very private matter. No one needs to know about it. It doesn't concern the people or anyone but you two. All he wants to do is look it over and just make sure everything is safe.”

“It is, so burn it. Nothing in there matters. They won't need any of it so tell him to get rid of it.”

“Sans we both know he won't not until he looks it over. He already said everything is pretty much gone. Most of the words are gone, there are no audio files, only a few pictures.” Sans tensed at the mention of photos. “He just wants me to go down and help him understand what it all means. Once he knows it's safe I'm sure he will dispose of it if we ask.”

“You put too much faith in him,” Sans said with a blank expression. “I don't want you to look at the things he's found. I don't want anyone looking at it.”

“Sans can we at least try to cooperate with him. You know he won't let this go that easily. Not when it includes him and the souls or whatever. He can't read it. He needs someone who can and I don't want that to be you.”

“I've already seen it. I know it. It's my file. Grillby I want my file,” Sans stressed.

“Okay, Sans listen,” Grillby sighed, rubbing at his temple. “Let's please try to meet in the middle of things. How about we, us to go talk to Asgore about your concerns. He has all the information he found in the labs at his home and no one else is allowed to look at it. All Asgore wants is to understand what it all means that's it. He has been very courteous to you before with your limitations and I'm sure he will continue to be. Let's just try to work something out, please? We won't get anywhere if we don't cooperate.”

“I want my file.”

“You can tell him that yourself.” Sans was silent, eyes boring into his guardians.

“When?”

“Um...Well, why don't we wait a little bit? We can talk to Foli about this and get her opinion. Plus if you'll be on new medication it would be best to not overwork your emotions too much, yeah? We can talk to Foli, get your medication situated, and help Papyrus get settled at his new school. If the medication seems to be working and Foli thinks it's a good idea, maybe then we can try to plan a date.”

“That'll be too long,” Sans argued.

“Maybe but if it's for the best then...Sans, you know how you are right now. I don't want to have to tell you your limitations and I don't want to make you seem like you are unable to handle yourself. This whole thing with Asgore is just something that isn't wise for you to go into. You can't take that big of a step forward not without medication to help you. I don't know what is in that file or whatever he found but if it'll cause a flashback or cause you to have another episode I won't allow you to see it. Everything that involves the labs is a step way down the road.”

“But I already know what's in it. It won't affect me.”

“Sans that same argument could be made with anything. You really expect me to believe if I showed you whatever that paperwork is, whatever photo's he has, any of that information you wouldn't be phased by it at all?” Sans opened his mouth to argue but closed it, averting his gaze. “Sans I don't mean to say this in some condescending or negative way but you can't handle it. I know how you react. You and I both know that the second you see whatever he found you'll break. It's still too soon. It can take years to get even close to the labs without you having an attack. That's normal and okay and with Foli helping you cope and get over everything that has happened. You can even try to work with her and maybe get some type of closure over this but until then you need to be patient and realize your limitations.” Sans remained silent, staring down at the carpet below.

“Okay,” Papyrus said in place of his brother, grabbing his sibling's arm. Sans rested his head against his brother and nodded.

“Can I stay up here for a while?” Sans asked in a small voice.

“Of course, you can. Do you want me to stay with you?”

“I will,” Papyrus answered. “You can go talk to everyone downstairs.”

“I'll bring up some lunch too, okay?” With one more nod from the both of them, Grillby gave each of his children one last hug and a small, warm kiss on their skulls before he left the room closing the door behind him. Flint, Sulfi, and Bonnie all looked up at the bartender as he turned to face them. Flint and Sulfi were noticeably darker in color and weaker flame. They stared at him with such a sorrowful expression that the bartender was thankful Sans remained in his room.

“You two better brighten up when he leaves my room or you're out of my house,” Grillby told them, descending down the stairs. “How much did you tell them?” He asked his bunny friend who inhaled deeply.

“As short of a short version as I could all things considered.” Grillby just nodded and sat down in the open armchair.

“Got any more questions, ask now,” he said to his family who found it difficult to look at him.

“Is Sans okay?” Flint asked first.

“He's not upset at Sulfi. Something else came up that bothered him.”

“I don't want to ask any stupid questions but are they both acclimating well? With all, that's happened...” Sulfi trailed off and the bartender sat back in his chair.

“You can see yourself how well they are.”

“Yes, but Sans is still...”

“Recovering, yes he is. He had an episode a few weeks ago that set him back a few steps and caused him to relapse. He's been too nervous to try another medication since then but he's finally agreed to try again since you two came down. He wants to be able to communicate with you not allow his anxiety and fear to come in the way of that.” Sulfi and Flint looked at each other.

“Is he afraid of us now?” Grillby tapped his finger against his pant leg and let out a deep breath.

“He doesn't mean to be. He has no issues with you Sulfi, Sans has always favored females more than males. Flint, on the other hand, you scared him.” Flint opened his mouth to speak but Grillby held up his hand. “I know you didn't mean to and he does too. He wants to try to move past it but it's hard to. You used a very commanding and authoritative tone with him that he equates to Gaster. He was very weak and unstable and you presented yourself as a threat so he envisioned you as one. Sans' fear of Gaster is something he still struggles with and is a big source of his problems. It's just a very unfortunate situation that you had to trigger him and get him to have the worst impression of you possible which is why I wanted you two to stay in Hotland. But, it's not completely bad. I honestly expected him to react a lot worse around you and because he isn't he's showing visible signs of improvement. Also, you gave him the push he needed to take the next step and try medication again.”

“Sans really has improved, a lot more than you two realize,” Bonnie told the flames. “He may have been through some bad times and some horrific stuff, but he's still strong and wants to get better. Don't look at him like he is something pitiful or broken. Don't feel sorry for him and don't view him as some damaged child because even though he is, that's not what he wants to be. That's why you don't see Grillby treating either of them like glass. Above all else they want to be treated like a regular monster because up until now, they never were.”

“You two can't even begin to imagine the progress Sans has made. He still seems unsteady and depressed and he is but how he has acted around you two is such an improvement even to how he was a week ago. He's trying to open up, he trying to be around you, he actually wants to be a member of the whole family and not just Papyrus and I. You two need to realize that. You can't look at him differently. You can't react when he does. You can't make him feel any worse than he already does. He expects you to wince, he expects you to flinch, he expects you to be uncomfortable, and he expects you to pity him and view him as an object instead of a monster. If you two don't think you can handle acting normally around him then please leave. I won't have you ruining the progress he has made, not when he just started to get better again. This is the only warning I'm going to give both of you. If you choose to stay for however long you want to you need to know the difference between my children upstairs and the skeletons Bonnie told you about. One mistake and you two are out. Can you handle that?” Sulfi and Flint's eyes met silently communication with each other.

“Of course, Grillby,” Sulfi promised and the bartender faced his brother.

“I think I've learned what to and not to do from you, brother. They are very brave and intelligent children and deserve to be treated as such. If Sans or Papyrus want to be a member of the family they have no reason not to be. They are your sons," Flint looked at his wife.

“And our nephews,” Sulfi continued. “We couldn't imagine treating them as anything else regardless of what their past is.”

“Just like we didn't for you. Their past is their past. If anything, all this does is answers questions we've wondered but never felt right to ask. How we perceive them and act around them won't change. They are family and will always be treated as such,” Flint finished. Grillby stared at the two intently ensuring that their words were true and could be trusted. But of course, they could be. They were both parents. They knew how to raise a child even better than he could. Fiora had never been the same as Papyrus and even farther from Sans, but she didn't need to be in order for Sulfi and Flint to understand how to treat the skeletons. They knew how to be a mother and a father and that is all the skeletons would need. Someone who saw them as children and not projects.

“Okay,” the bartender said rising to his feet. “I'm going to go make some lunch. Don't worry about them. They'll come out when they're ready,” Grillby told his family.

“I'll help you,” Flint informed his brother. He kissed Sulfi's cheek causing a small green spark to shoot out before he let go of her hand and joined Grillby in the kitchen.

“Since when do you cook?” Grillby joked opening the lower cabinet to pull out a large skillet. Flint awkwardly took it from him and held it before just setting it down on the stove.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Grillby closed the cabinet and pushed himself up flashing his brother a questioning look. “Someone,” Flint corrected and the flame nodded.

“Sans?”

“Yes.”

“What about him?” The bartender handed his brother the ingredients out of the refrigerator.

“I would like to know what I can do to help him feel more comfortable around me,” Flint admitted in a timid voice. “To know he compares me to...someone like that is disturbing. Even if he doesn't mean to and wants to not it still hurts. It hurts to know I caused that.” Grillby held out the milk but no one took it. He turned his head to find Flint leaning over the counter staring at the bread with a pained expression. “I didn't mean to scare him like that. I just-...I don't want him to look at me and-”

“Flint,” Grillby called and the older brother closed his eyes. “Flint, stop.” He shut the fridge and rested a hand on his brother's shoulder. “Flint you can't beat yourself up over this. You didn't know and you were doing what you thought was right. Sans is skittish around you but he is like that around everyone now even me. You two didn't have the best first impression, but his view on you isn't the same as it once was. He recognizes you as a different person and knows that you aren't Gaster or someone to fear. There's not a whole lot you can do because it's all just internal for him. He just needs to become comfortable around you and that will take time. Just be his uncle just like Sulfi is his aunt. Just act like you have been. You stood up for him today and I guarantee he'll remember that. He remembers small little things and something as simple as a smile can really make his day. Don't try to make it up to him and don't worry about trying to help him that's my job. He'll come around, he just needs time, love, and support that's what we all need.” Flint frowned slightly.

“I don't know how you do it. You raised those two so well. I don't understand how you could ever question yourself about that. I'd never be able to raise them correctly like you could.”

“You couldn't,” Grillby agreed and Flint laughed sadly. “I think you could now, though, maybe not in the past. You learn from them, or at least I did. I thought I knew all about how low someone could be or feel. I thought I knew all the answers about how to help someone but they showed me that I didn't know the first thing. I knew how to help myself. My solutions were just that, mine. Sans doesn't cope like I do, he doesn't overcome things like I do, he doesn't express himself like I do, and he doesn't want to. Sans said he doesn't want to be like me and for a good reason,” Grillby said getting his brother's full attention. “I did bad things and I would have never realized the extent of that until he told me. He didn't tell me about myself but of him and his own feeling and actions. Feeling and actions I never even considered and had always ignored until he held his soul in his hands and failed to do what I tried to so many times and he told me why he couldn't. He wasn't afraid. It wasn't about him at all. He doesn't want to be suicidal because he knows what it'll do to Papyrus and me. He doesn't want to put Papyrus through the same thing I made you go through. He doesn't want us to be afraid he'll die or for us to be crushed by that weight of waking up to find him dusted or fallen down. It was something so foreign and unknown to me. Of course, then I was more panicked and didn't think of anything but his soul and getting it back into him. But after all that and having time to reflect it dawned on me how wrong I was. He was able to think of others at his lowest moment when in mine I had only thought of myself. And if he's thinking like that, that means he's not as far gone as I feared.”

Flint watched his brother's flame darken a shade, hand gripping into the counter.

“...I'm sorry I never thought like that.” Flint's eyes widened, mouth parted. “I know I apologized for it in the past but I don't think I ever thought about the real impact it had on you, not like he had. I get it now. We're all we have and for me to attempt so many different times must have really broken you.” The two were silent before Grillby' resumed speaking. “I now get why you were always expecting an apology. I thought I had already apologized for everything but it always pertained to me and trying to make up for what I had done. I'm sorry I tried to kill myself. I'm sorry I made you worried. I'm sorry my actions did something. I never stopped to actually see the extent of the damage I caused and instead just expected you to overcome your overprotective nature I caused like I had overcome my depression. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry my son had to be the one to teach me that as well. It's an apology long overdue, but still I really am sorry.”

“Thank you.” Grillby glanced up from his counter to see his brother smiling at him with such a sincere and gentle smile. “I was still overprotective and in the wrong, but still. It really means a lot to hear you say that.”

“We're both fools,” Grillby said in light humor. “At least you were trying to think of others.”

“Your flame's always too bright,” Flint teased. “Can't ever stop thinking about yourself.”

“You would too if you had my face.” Flint barked out a laugh shoving his brother.

“Why must you ruin every good moment?”

“It's my job as your little brother is it not?” Grillby grinned, nudging his brother before he resumed preparing lunch. “Now are you going to help me with these tacos or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys the cutest scene is coming up in the next chapter and I'm so excited.
> 
> Also, I realized Sulfi and Flint have no idea where the hell Sans and Paps came from. Although Grillby keeps them both up to date on their wellbeing, he never told them about their full past. Until now, eyyyyy. Now everyone is a happy sad family. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for you lovely comments and offered hands. You guys are so nice, seriously. I wish I could more in return.<3
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	42. Hope

Sans had really expected things to be different after his little panic attack. He thought Flint would be angry at him for shouting at Sulfi or they both would learn the truth and look at him with pitiful expressions. But when Sans finally left Grillby's bedroom with his brother, all Sulfi did was apologize for upsetting Sans and nothing more was said. When Grillby went to work on Tuesday, Sans and Papyrus stayed home with Sulfi, Bonnie, and Flint and ended up having a lovely time. Even though Grillby had told Sans that Bonnie had informed the other flames about his past they didn't act as if they were bothered by it at all. If anything, they acted more welcoming. Sulfi still tried to get away with asking the boys to show her their magic and asked a few odd questions but never anything that pushed them too far. Whenever Sans became uncomfortable she'd back off but still give off the same warm and comforting aura Grillby did when he was trying to help the older skeleton through his more frantic moments.

Sans didn't expect Sulfi to really be too different, though. He feared the possibility but deep down knew it wasn't very likely. Sans mainly worried about Flint and the flame knew he did as well. They both acted differently and they weren't sure if it was on purpose or not. Flint constantly found checking on him while Sans was more internally struggling to offer small waves or smiles but never quite having the courage to be so open with the flame. Flint made his internal struggles only more difficult by being so...nice.

The yellow flame was the first one to call something out if Bonnie wasn't paying enough attention to Sans to noticed his behavior falter. Flint didn't openly watch Sans or give the skeleton any reason to distrust him or dislike him but when his protective senses spiked he was more attentive to the child. There had been multiple times that day there the yellow flame had called his wife to come sit on the couch with him to get her away from Sans when the skeleton got anxious and even more times when he asked if the child was okay. Sans found it very challenging to respond at first since Flint often noticed Sans' discomfort faster than Papyrus did. Flint would usually ask very suddenly when the others were distracted and Sans would tense up and stare with wide pupils that darted between his brother and the flame. It was usually moments later that Papyrus would notice the two and taking in his brother's flickering soul and come to the rescue to ensure his brother was alright.

This happened a handful of times, each one resulting in Sans' voice failing him and his body too stiff to move. However, by the end of the day, Sans had managed enough courage to nod his head and respond to Flint with a quiet voice instead of allowing Papyrus to do it for him. It was something so amazing to everyone else that Grillby even looked astonished.

“Is he okay?” Flint asked his brother, shooting a glance at Sans who was abnormally quiet. Grillby looked out from the kitchen to stare at his child before looking at the time.

“Yeah, I think he's just tired,” the bartender answered. “Hey kiddos, why don't you go take a bath? It's getting late.”

“'kay,” Sans said as Papyrus whined. He took his brother's hand and led him upstairs covering a yawn as he did so.

“You're oddly alert today,” Grillby noted nodding his head upstairs. “You noticed somethings faster than I did.”

“I don't understand how, your child is the easiest thing to read,” Flint said as he sat on the couch.

“Yeah? How so?” The bartender asked eager to hear how observant his brother was.

“He does that thing where his hands grab onto anything in sight.” Grillby nodded and motioned for his brother to go on, waving at his children who exited their room with their pajamas before entering the bathroom. “And his knees rub together, he shuffled from leg to leg, and his teeth click together. His hands are probably the biggest indication, that or his pupils they always fluctuate. He's more expressive than us and we are about as expressive as it gets.” Grillby applauded his brother and Flint rolled his eyes.

“I'm impressed. Your observation skills are better than I expected.” The yellow flame tossed a look at the bathroom door. His finger tapped against the couch as he thought over his question.

“Hey, he does this thing where he grabs his arm a lot. Is there a reason for that?” Flint asked and Grillby inhaled deeply as he nodded.

“Yeah, he used to have a bad scar there.” Flint hummed.

“What about when he just flinches at nothing?” Grillby froze and stared at his brother.

 “Did he do that today?” The bartender's flame darkened and his brother's followed lowering in concern.

“A few times, yeah. Not since you got home. Is it bad?” Grillby let out a sigh, running a hand through his flamed head.

“It's not great. Did he do anything else like that? Shake his head randomly or make an odd outburst?”

“He shook his head but not really any unusual outbursts. He spoke up but it wasn't off topic or anything. Why? What's wrong? Is he okay?”

“It's just his disorder,” Grillby told his brother not wanting him to panic. “He gets voices in his head sometimes. He handled it himself this time which is good. If he does it again and I'm not around just try to get him to speak up or get Papyrus to notice him. Sans can handle it himself most of the time but conversation helps keep him grounded. That's why he spoke up or sometimes just talks for no reason. Focusing on something else helps distract him.”

“I want to say I'm not alarmed but knowing the reason as to why he reacted like that is...alarming.”

“Yeah, well his reaction to you pointing that out is worse. He's fine. It won't cause him to have too big of a panic attack if it gets bad, at least not one Papyrus can't handle.” Grillby pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Hey, do you mind if I make a call real quick? I need to talk to Asgore. It should only take ten minutes or so. The kids will be in there for a while.” Flint nodded.

“Yeah, sure, go ahead.”

“Thanks,” Grillby said as he pressed the call button and exited the house. Flint sat in the living room looking around the empty home. Sulfi and Bonnie were both out on some final girl's night leaving Flint with no one to talk to. The two flames needed to head back home and they planned to take that journey tomorrow. With Grillby medicated and the stress of his children being lessened, Flint and Sulfi's family emergency trip was up. Flint suggested they leave in the evening after making sure Papyrus' school visit and Sans' session went over well. Even if Sulfi needed to get back to the Core, Flint could manage another day or two here if need be.

Flint perked up when he heard some shuffling in the bathroom followed by the muffled voices of the skeletons.

“Grillby?” Sans called out before he opened the door. “Grillby?” He repeated exiting the room with just his large parka covering him. He began to call out to his guardian again but when he spotted Flint he stopped. His voice cut off and his fingers curled around the end of his jacket.

“Do you need something?” Flint asked and Sans' eyes darted around, his teeth clicking together.

“Um...W-Where's Grillby?” Sans wondered, voice small.

“He stepped outside to make a call. He should be back in a few minutes. Did you need something?”

“Uh...” Sans looked back into the bathroom face contorted into a look of distress. Sans winced and shrunk in on himself causing Flint to frown. Was he hearing the voices? “U-Um,” the skeletons' voice cracked but he pressed on, “h-he...um...”

“Would you like me to get him?” Flint gestured to the door and Sans inhaled sharply.

“Um, no. H-He just, um, he-we-I can't find...” The rest of Sans' sentence was mumbled. His face scrunched up as if he was in physical pain and his head shook hands digging into the fabric.

“Sans, it's okay. Do you need something for your bath? Would you like me to help you?” Flint offered and Sans stilled. His breath was held and his body was unmoving for a solid minute and the flame feared he had somehow broken the skeleton.

“Yes,” Sans whispered sounding completely unsure. Flint sat dumbfounded for a moment before he snapped out of his daze and pushed away from the couch and made his way up the stairs. Sans retreated into the bathroom and waited by the tub for Flint. The flame poked his head into the room first before taking one step inside and remaining as distant as he could in order to keep the skeleton calm. Papyrus was already in the tub and smiled when he saw the flame.

“Hi, Uncle Flint!”

“Hello,” he replied before looking back at Sans. “What did you need?” Sans pointed to the tall cabinet but didn't speak.

“We can't find the bubbles. Grillby always puts them too high up,” Papyrus answered and Flint went over to the cabinet and looked inside. He shuffled around the small towels and few bottles inside but found nothing close to bubble bath.

“I don't see it in here,” He commented and Sans grip tightened on his jacket.

“I-I'm sorry I-”

“Does he keep it somewhere else?” Flint asked and Sans paused and stared at him with wide sockets and jaw slack.

“Uhh...”

“He keeps stuff in the hall closet sometimes.” Papyrus pointed to the hallway and Flint nodded and left. Sans trailed after him, remaining in the doorway as Flint opened up the closet and began looking through it. He found a large purple bottle of bubble bath on the top shelf and pulled it out.

“This it?” He showing Sans the bottle and the skeleton bobbed his head. Flint closed the closet and held it out for the child to take. Sans' small hand cautiously reached out and wrapped around the bottle holding it against his chest.

“Thank you,” Sans said and Flint smiled back.

 “You are welcome.” Sans offered the monster a small fraction of a smile before he retreated to the bathroom once more.

The next morning was busy for the small family of three. Flint and Sulfi went off to say goodbye to their friend in town while Grillby, Sans, and Papyrus went out for Sans' therapy. Bonnie had been grinning madly as she shoved Grillby out of the house and the flame was far too suspicious of his friend's behavior. Still, he had no time to question her and took his children to the hospital shooting a look to his friend who just waved from the doorway.

Sans' session with Foli went far better than usual. The progress the skeleton had been making was tremendous and Foli was very pleased with how well Sans was becoming at coping. A large portion of the session discussed Sans' feeling toward Flint and Gaster. Foli wanted to see where Sans' feelings were toward the two different monsters and see if his progress with Flint meant his fear for Gaster was decreasing. Sans wanted to say it was, but his fear would always remain. Although he was certain with time Flint would no longer be someone he felt uncomfortable around, Gaster was a different story. Foli told Sans that being able to recognize the different between the two was important and a step forward. If Sans no longer reacted and feared everything that reminded him of the scientist than in time, although he would always be fearful of him, the fear would be more manageable.

“Will it ever...go away?” Sans asked and Foli folded her hands together.

“I don't know if going away is possible for this type of thing. You will eventually learn to cope with all of this but just because you are able to think and talk about it doesn't mean that it still won't hurt or make you feel something. Nightmares will always happen and panic attacks do rise even with medication. But your progress isn't about no longer fearing but not longer allowing yourself to be controlled by that fear.”

“How long will that take?” Sans wondered and Foli offered him an empathetic smile.

“How long doesn't matter Sans, we talked about this. Recovery is a process, it's not an easy fix.” Sans disliked the answer.

“Something has come up with the king,” Grillby told Foli. “Something that involves information they found at the labs. Sans wants to see it himself but I don't think that would be wise. I told him we would talk to you about it.” Foli took in a deep breath and released it slowly.

“Oh, well, Grillby is right Sans.” The skeleton frowned. “To go into the labs or see something from it could be extremely triggering for you. You have been making such great progress but are still far from any sort of visual closure or closure at all for that matter. If the wrong information catches your eye you could relapse again and have a flashback that could set you all the way back to stage one. I wouldn't recommend you going near that place until you at least have some proper medication to help stabilize you.” Sans huffed, fingers curling into fists.

“But I'm going to! Why can't I go?”

“Sans you know how long that takes. I'm not sure what medication Doctor Kawa will have for you but to get to the usual dosage for you would take a month or two. Even then, we'd like you to remain as emotionally balanced as possible. The medication could be working fine but a severe panic attack could set it off balance and we don't want to repeat what happened last time.” 

Sans pupils darted to the floor.

“Maybe on the medication, if you would like to talk about it and maybe discuss some things I believe you would be able to handle that. Conversation and speaking about the past can sometimes help us overcome it," Foli told her patient calmly but Sans was flustered.

“I don't want to talk with him,” Sans grumbled too low for anyone to hear. All Sans wanted was his file destroyed so all the evidence of who he once was would be finally erased like it should have been. His eyes darted up to the clock and he let out a long sigh, pushing himself up in his chair. “It's time to go.”

“Oh, yes, so it is!” Foli said as a few of her leaves came off and landed on her desk. “Well, everything seems to be doing great. As long as Sans keeps up his coping exercises and remains able to stabilize himself I believe the new medication will really make an impact on him. Perhaps, Sans, to better prepare you for talking with Asgore or getting more involved in the past you could try talking about it more openly. It doesn't have to be the bad part but just allowing yourself to talk about it without panicking or getting overwhelmed can help you later on. I'm sure the king has a lot of question you could help answer. Answering those questions could help you not overcome the past completely but be able to maybe see the information he found and not react so negatively. Take a few steps out of your comfort zone every now and then and really try to engage yourself in activities. It doesn't have to be a lot. How long is your family staying for Grillby?”

“They actually leave today.” A few leaves fell from the therapist's body.

“Oh, well, try to interact with them more while they're here Sans. You are used to Grillby and Papyrus but having someone who may challenge you like Sulfi or someone who makes you uncomfortable like Flint can be a great way to practice remaining calm and getting out of your old habits. Even if it's just sitting next to them or making eye contact, a step forward is a step forward.”

“Okay,” Sans replied and Grillby said goodbye before they left the room. The meeting with Kawa went better than the one with Foli. His magical gift never failed to bring Sans' mood up drastically which helped Sans' growing nerves. He agreed and wanted to take another medication but his past experiences were something he couldn't overcome so easily.

“I'm so very happy to see you willing to continue Sans. It's very brave of you to continue so soon, are you sure you want to do this?” No.

“Y-Yeah.”

“The next one we have is a bit weaker than the one before but the mild side effects are higher in those who take it. It's nothing major, mainly drowsiness, occasionally lethargic moods, and some twitchiness that we can also solve if it's too much for you. Since the dosage is lower, on the smaller level you won't notice too much of a change like last time. There may still be mood swings either from you or a side effect as well but there are very few cases were anything more extreme happens. The higher dosage is the same, significant mood changes that are negative, feelings of depression or suicide and if you get any of these just let someone know right away, okay?” Sans nodded.

“This one sounds a lot less severe in the side effect, why wasn't this tried first?” Grillby asked.

“This drug is weaker than the ones before as I've stated. In the past, Sans was a lot more unstable and had very little coping abilities. We didn't want to put him on a weaker medication because it might not be strong enough and since the Sans' mood was already such a large issue we didn't want to risk having him on a medication that could make it worst and cause his soul too much stress. Now though, from what I hear and see Sans has improved significantly from the skeleton we first saw and I have more faith that he will be able to manage any of the side effects that happen better than before. Also, I'm unsure of where to place him in terms of the medication itself. I personally feel like he would be on a third dosage scale but only due to how low the medication is. But, it may effect him differently or he could very well be able to live comfortable and happily on the second dosage. For now, the second one is what we will aim for. If his more extreme issues like the voices or intense flashbacks or panic attacks are still an issue we can see about raising it if the second stage is both stable and not enough.”

“One thing I'd like to just add is that although there are many other medications out there for Sans to try if this one is to fail, they all are more experimental or the rate of success is lower. I know Sans was not fond of the idea but if this is to fail, some patients do find the injections to work if the pills just aren't.” Sans body visibly tensed and Kawa felt his soul give off a frantic and threatening magic wave that threw off his body's natural magic. “But, that is only a last case scenario. I believe with the progress Sans has already made this medication could be the one for him!” Kawa grinned, gripping onto his clipboard. “So, I can write up that prescription for you and request that you schedule an appointment for next week so we can check on the medication and see how it's working, okay? Do you have any questions for me?”

“No, we are good, thank you,” Grillby said and Kawa just smiled and left the room. In twenty minutes the family was out of the hospital and headed to the riverboat. Sans was looking over his medication closely, reading over the label and small informational packet that came with it. Papyrus skipped along happily, swinging his guardian's arm with him as he did so.

“Shouldn't you be wearing a jacket?” Papyrus asked the bartender who shook his head.

“That's why I have an umbrella.” He lifted the black umbrella up as he stepped into the boat before helping his children on. “Sans would you like me to hold that for you?” Grillby offered but Sans shook his head and shoved the pill bottle into his large pockets. The riverman picked up his  oar and began padding against the icy river.

“I'm nervous,” Papyrus admitted boots rubbing together. “Kids always said the Waterfall school was really different from the one in Snowdin.”

“I suppose it is. Less snow, different crowd, but it'll be better than your old school,” Grillby said reassuringly.

And better it was, as soon as the family arrived the children playing outside for recess instantly locked eyes on the skeletons. Sans took a defensive stance while Papyrus looked warier.

“You new?” A seahorse-like creature shouted and Papyrus looked around to see who he was talking to. “You! Skeleton! You new?” Papyrus gasped, squeezing his guardian's hand his eyes shining.

“Yes!” Papyrus answered and Grillby huffed.

“Papyrus we haven't even-” Papyrus released his father's hand and ran over to the fence dividing the children.

“What are you play?”

“Monster and humans, wanna play? We need another monster since our friend is out today.” A small alligator monster told the skeleton.

“YES! I'd love to-”

“Pap,” Sans called nodding to the building. Papyrus deflated for only a moments.

“I can't right now but I'll be back tomorrow!” The skeleton rushed over to his guardian who held open the door. “Grillby I can come back tomorrow right?” The flame just smiled at his child's enthusiasm.

Grillby went to the front office where the school principal and counselor were waiting for him. The principal was a tall, shining fish monster and the counselor was a slimly looking reptile of some kind. Grillby extended his hand to be polite but retracted it once noticing their moist bodies.

"Principal Dab," the tall fish said with a nod.

"Miss Slog," the counselor introduced with a nod. "I'm sorry we can't be more official. I'm afraid we'd both end up with an injury." She laughed gesturing to Grillby's flamed body.

"Oh no, it's okay. I guess I should have brought gloves," Grillby said looking down at his hand. "I'm Grillby and these are my two children Sans and Papyrus."

"Hello!" Papyrus greeted with a grin while Sans just waved.

"Hello! From what I understand, you two are new here. Would you like a small tour?"

"Yes!" Papyrus answered already thrilled. Talking with the school staff went over very well and the school was about the same size as Papyrus' old one. Papyrus adored every monster there each one seeming more friendly than the last. The principal and councilor were both thrilled to have Papyrus be transferred and addressed Grillby's concerns as well once in their office.

“This school has a very strict no bullying policy, I can assure you of that. In my one hundred and thirty-seven years of working here, I have never had a single case of  bullying that wasn't resolved within the day. The community of children is small here, as you no doubt know. The children themselves are very closely knit and if a friend is in need they are there to help. I wish I could have introduced you to a student here but she, unfortunately, is absent today. She is very well known around here but perhaps it's for the best, she can be a bit overwhelming to some folks. But she along with many other students have stopped and reported numerous different cases of bullying or just crimes in general in the school and are even stricter than some teachers at times. What I'm getting at is Papyrus will have no issue at this school. We may be small but it's is such a friendly and accepting school. I have no doubts that Papyrus will fit in just fine here.” The principal grinned and Papyrus beamed.

“We could begin the paperwork to have Papyrus enrolled today if you'd like. We can also assign him a classmate to help show him around and get him acclimated.” The counselor offered and Papyrus was practically vibrating in his chair.

“That sounds wonderful, thank you.” Grillby said feeling more positive about the school.

“If you need a moment to discuss things over that is fine,” The counselor stated, rising up but Papyrus shook his head.

“Grillby I want to go here! Please! Please! Please!” Papyrus begged, tugging on his guardian's arms.

“Let me fill out the work okay?” Grillby told his child and he let out a squeal of delight.

“Will it just be Papyrus join our school then? Or is this little guy coming along as well?” The counselor asked smiling at Sans. The skeleton straightened his posture glancing up at his guardian.

“Sans is a bit ahead of his grade, I don't think he'll be able to attend," The bartender told the school members.

“Our school goes all the way up to the eighth year but the next school is right across the river,” She gestured to the open window where a school could be in the distance, a shallow river diving the two plots of land. “But I understand is he wishes to remain where he is. Switches schools can be difficult.” Sans stared at the school in the distance.

“You and Papyrus can be in the same school for a few years,” Grillby told his child and Sans looked away from the window as he thought about the possibility.

The chance to be in the same school with his brother again was an idea that thrilled the skeletons. Even the next school was technically closer than the two schools the brothers went to in Snowdin. However tempting the idea was, Sans couldn't help but think of why they all were here in the first place. Papyrus needed to change schools because he was being bullied and that bulling was Sans fault. Because Sans had no control over his actions and was know as the troubled and crazy skeleton, Papyrus was teased and made fun of because of Sans. Papyrus couldn't make friends and be happy in Snowdin but here he could be. Papyrus had a fresh start. No one knew of them, no one knew of Sans, and Sans wasn't here to ruin it for his brother. This was Papyrus' moment to be happy. Sans was better off as far away as possible

“No,” Sans found himself saying, looking down at the ground. “Maybe, uh, later,” he muttered, rubbing at his arm as he flashed his brother a nervous smile.

“No problem sweetie,” the principal smiled and Sans shrunk in his chair. “We'll just get you started on the work, alright?” She slid forward the paper for Grillby to fill out. Papyrus kept Sans distracted and prevented him from going into his self-doubting mind while Grillby sorted out the paperwork for his child. Within an hours time, they were out the door and Papyrus held onto a paper with his teacher's name and class number on it. He practically skipped all the way home a couple feet ahead of his other two family member.

“Hey, back in the room you seemed a bit off,” Grillby spoke quietly to his elder son. Sans glanced up at him, teeth clicking together. “If it's just about the school then it's fine but I really thought you'd want to be in a school with Pap.” 

“I...do,” Sans admitted, “but I don't want to ruin it again. He has a chance to be normal there. No one knows me, no none can see me, and I can't ruin it for him.” Grillby frowned, stopped in his movement.

“Kid,” he sighed but Sans just kept walking. “Sans it's-”

“Please don't,” the skeleton said quickly.

“But Sans-"

“I know what you are going to say. It's not my fault. I couldn't help myself. I shouldn't deny myself what I want because of my negativity. I know that, Grillby. I know. But I...” Sans stopped now, fists curled up. “I don't want him to go through that again. You weren't there. You didn't hear what they said. It is my fault. They picked on him because of me. But not again, never again.” Sans stared at his guardian with a broken and defeated expression.

“Did you talk to him about this?” The bartender wondered and Sans looked away.

“No, and I don't plan to,” Sans said watching at his brother jump into a large pile of snow. “I don't want this to happen again, and until I'm stable I don't want to be in the same school as him. Not until I know I'm safe and won't hurt him again.”

“You should really talk about this with Foli Sans. You're keeping things from Papyrus again and he'll find out.”

“Hey!” Papyrus called a couple feet away. “Is everything okay?” He began to make his way over, mild signs of worry passing him.

“Just talking about school,” Sans said with a half smile.

“Do you want to come now? I was thinking, perhaps it would be best for you to remain away from a while.” Sans and Grillby both looked shocked by the child's statement. “The principal and councilor both said the school had some rowdy and passionate students in it. I don't want someone to hurt you or upset you by accident. You still aren't comfortable in loud and noisy settings so maybe waiting would be best. I don't want you setting yourself off and thinking you did something wrong.” Sans looked genuinely touched by his brother's words. No matter what Papyrus still wanted Sans to be with him. Even though he had caused so much damage, Papyrus still kept Sans in his best interest and looked out for him even though he should have been the one to do that. Sans was the older brother but acted more like a younger, weaker one.

“Why would you think so much about me? I'm...I'm not even ready to go back yet.” Papyrus looked offended.

“Why wouldn't I think about you every moment of every day? You are my brother and I love you so very much! Your happiness is my happiness. I wish to be there for you just as much if not more than you have been for me! And I know now, after everything that has happened, you need that most. You need to know it's okay,” Papyrus reached out and grabbed his brother's hand, “and that it's not your fault. None of it. I'd stick up for you again and again if I have to. Even if it meant having the entire Underground hate me. I'd rather have that then make you have to hide and repress yourself because of me.” Papyrus smiled up at his brother and took in his baffled face. 

"How do you always know exactly what to say?" Sans asked his soul fluttering in his ribs. A gentle warmth spread through him as a part of him believe his brother's words.

 “I overheard your conversation. You two weren't very quiet.” Grillby let out a loud laugh and Sans blushed.

“Why didn't you say something?” He mumbled and Papyrus giggled.

“Because then I wouldn't have been able to tell you the truth without you believing me.” Sans pouted and Papyrus hugged his brother. “Do you feel better?” Sans looked away, cheeks still tinted blue.

“Maybe.”

“What if I tickled your funny bone?” Papyrus grinned, arms extending outward to tickle his brother. Sans jumped out of the way but Papyrus chased him. Grillby simply followed his children allowing them to chase each other and laugh as they went back home. Sans ran up to the door and struggled with the knob with his mittens. The fumble gave Papyrus the time he needed to jumped out and tackle Sans right as he opened the door. Sans let out a shriek of delight as Papyrus assaulted his ribs.

“I shall vanquish your...” Papyrus trailed off, hands stopping their tickling. Sans laughed, catching his breath before he opened his eyes to see what his brother stopped for.

“Pap? What's...” Sans looked up and spotted a Flint, Bonnie, and Sulfi all wearing a party hat. There was an assortment of snacks lined the table along with balloon and streams that were scattered about and the skeleton just stared in silence. Grillby entered the doorway a few moments after his children and saw the scene instantly.

“The hell is this?” He demanded and Bonnie was practically trembling with excitement.

“Surprise!” She shouted waving her hands around. “It's a party!”

“What for?” Papyrus asked, climbing off his brother and offering him a hand.

“It's a goodbye party for Flint and Sulfi but also a progress party for Sans!”

“What?” Sans asked in total confusion. “Why?”

“Because everyone deserves to be recognized and rewarded for their hard work Sans! And during the past few days, you've worked hard. I threw Grillby a progress party!”

“It's not really the same,” Grillby pointed out, closing the door behind him. “Mine was more of a celebration for not needed therapy or medication anymore.”

“Yes, well, Sans won't be having that, he'll be having a progress party and when he is finally done with his therapy he'll have a recovery party. Now, shut up, stop ruining my fun, and put on your party hat.” Bonnie handed each of them a hat and snapped the elastic band around Grillby's. The flame scowled, rubbing the stinging area.

“What's the purpose of a party?” Sans wondered as he looked over his hat never having gone to one before let alone attend one partially dedicated to him.

“The purpose of a party is to celebrate, Sans.” Sulfi smiled, adjusting the child's crooked party hat. “To reward and commend you for all your hard work and progression you have made.” Sans' browbone furrowed, the corner of his mouth pointed downward

“But, I'm not done. I'm not even close. I could go back to how I was and all the effort you put into this could be for nothing.”

“Not for nothing Sans, it's for you. This isn't about the future but the present. If you do regress we'll just wait and throw you another party and another and another and another until we throw you a big party to celebrate your final step forward.” 

Why? That was all Sans could think of. Why? He'd never gone to a party. He had no idea why anyone would celebrate his pathetic recovery. He was so far from his goal it was depressing how little progress he believed he made. Yet they were celebrating it? Why?

“W-...What do you even do at parties?” Sans asked, hands wringing together. He felt almost embarrassed he didn't know the first thing about parties. He's read stories with some in it, overheard conversations about them, but never experiences one. Everyone else seemed to know exactly what was going on or what to do. Bonnie was cutting into a cake, Flint helping her plate them, Grillby was fixing some sagging decorations, even Papyrus was getting enthusiastic about it. Sans felt out of the loop.

“You do whatever you want,” Flint said standing before the skeleton. He offered a slice of cake that Sans stared at. “They are just times to have fun and to enjoy the company of others. There's no trick or secret. Just have fun.” Sans peered up at the yellow flame, carefully taking the plate he was offered.

“Just have fun?” Sans repeated and Bonnie nodded, coming over with a slice for Papyrus.

“Yep! Though I do wish we could have invited more monsters over. I had to turn a lot of them down, everyone wanted to come. I didn't want to overwhelm you, though.” She beamed and Sans' fingers curled around his plate. What?

“Other monsters wanted to come?” He found himself asking in astonishment. Why would they want to come? What had he done? All he had ever gone to this town was steal from it, hurt the residence members, and waste everyone's time. Why did they want to come and celebrate with them? Didn't they hate him?

“Oh yeah, a bunch. The entire guard wanted to come over.” But he had attacked them! “A lot of Grillby's regulars, but this wasn't going to become one of those parties.” They had all seem his panic and weren't afraid? “Even this little cat girl overheard us and wanted to come. She was darling, I can't recall her name. She said you use to be in her class.” Sans felt his soul stop for a beat. Someone from his class? Sans thought everyone hated him. He had scared everyone in his old school and in his new one he was a freak. Sans only friend other than his family had been-

“Kitty...” Sans muttered and Bonnie clapped. 

“Yes, that's the one! I thought about inviting her but her mother is known to be a stick in the mud.” 

Tears began to pool in San's socket, his pupils locked onto the vanilla cake in his hands. Sans thought Kitty hated him after he destroyed the golden flower. Sans thought everyone hated him. But if they did why would they want to come? Why? 

“There were a few more too but a lot of them offered food which is why we have so much. Gerson gave us some crabapples and my cousin gave some cinnamon bunnies, even the nice cream guy gave a coupon! You three will have enough food for—Oh, hey. Sans, what's wrong? Did I say something?” Tears began to flow freely from his sockets, a few quiet sobs escaping him his grip so tight on the plate it bent dipping his thumb into the icing of the cake.

“W-Why is e-everyone so-so nice?” Sans asked between sobs. “I-I've just d-done bad th-things to them a-and g-gave them-m reasons to-to hate me b-but they-they don't. T-They wanted to co-come and I-I don't under-understand.” Sans bowed his head, shouldering shaking as he cried. "I-I hurt Dog-Dogaressa a-and everyone kn-knows about my at-attacks and I killed the fl-flower K-Kitty like-liked so why?" Sans squeezed his socket's shut, trembling as he held onto the plate for dear life. “W-Why?” He cried and Papyrus set down his plate and went over to his brother.

“Because they care, Sans,” Sulfi told the skeleton, all the adults gathering around him.

“They want to celebrate with you,” Flint added.

“They got to see you grow,” Bonnie smiled.

“And they are proud of you just like we are,” Grillby said, resting a hand on his child's shoulder.

“Because they love you just like we love you,” Papyrus finished, lifting his brother's head. Sans sniffled, the warmth and love the monster's around him gave off overwhelmed him in the best way possible. 

Sans wanted to cry for hours over the generosity and kindness everyone gave him that he felt he did not deserve. But another part of him wanted to be happy and bask in the joyous feelings around him. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to. He feared he'd try but still hold himself back. He was worried he wouldn't be able to speak when he wanted to or act when he knew he should have. He hesitated knowing he would most likely end up clinging to his brother and trying his best to not allow his insanity to ruin the moment. But his insanity wasn't there. For once no whispers of doubt called for him. No insulting words were being thrown at him. No feelings of complete and utter regret and sorrow were waiting to overtake him. 

Sans had always felt like he was walking between the edges of shame and misery easily swaying one way or another as his voices pushed him. His mistakes were never small but catastrophically impactful. If he flinched the entire world hated him and he was known as a disgusting, freak of an experiment, the creature Gaster had created with only one intent, to kill. If he couldn't smile when he should Sans was a burden. Everyone saw he was broken and his black and hopeless feelings took over suffocating everyone in the room so that he ended up as some toxic creature.

But now, Sans felt like if he were to fall, the bottom of that deep, black pit wasn't nearly as endless as he thought. If he were to stumble and loose his balance falling into that shame and misery, the trip would be smaller than he realized. He'd land on his tailbone, look back up to find his family all offering their hand and as the voices and inky darkness clawed at his legs and mind, Sans would stand up. He'd stand up and see the edge he fell off of and reach out. He'd grab onto the edge and pulling himself back up, taking hold of his family's hands so that they could guide him back to his thin and narrow path. And the skeleton would try again but this time, he'd know the faces around him would help him once more.

Sans' tears stopped flowing and unconventional warmth filled his soul and entire body. Sans felt lighter but also heavier. Like the weight of his depression had slid off his shoulder and was replaced with the weightless feelings of love and acceptance. Sans finally felt his head clear the rotting and toxic depths of his mind. The toxic depth he equated to his fears and nightmares of Gaster and the void. The misery of the void, feeling it blind him, choke him, consume him. The towering figured of Gaster making Sans feel like the smallest and weakest creature alive. Sans felt as if he could breathe. Like the inky darkness that blinded and suffocated him was no longer there. The lingering fear of the shadows and the monster he knew lurked within them was outweighed by the blinding light he finally saw. Before him stood five monsters who loved him and nothing more. Something Sans was told and told himself countless times, but for once, he believed it.

“You okay?” Papyrus asked his brother and Sans nodded, wiping at his tears. Papyrus held back a laugh and Sans looked at his brother with a confused expression.

“What?” Papyrus shook his head, covering his mouth and Bonnie and Grillby both started giggling. “What? What is it?”Sans asked again as Sulfi turned away, laughing. “What's so funny?”

“You guys are cruel,” Flint said, clearly struggling to control himself. He knelt down and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket. “You have icing all over your face,” Flint told the skeleton reaching out to wipe at it and show the skeleton. Sans stared down at the blue and white stain on the cloth. He blushed and reached up to wipe it off but only made it worse when he realized the icing was still on his hand.

“Get it off!” Sans whined a ring of icing around his right socket. Flint held back his laughter as best as he could as he used his handkerchief to wipe away icing while everyone else busted out laughing.

“Got it,” Bonnie snickered showing her phone to Grillby. Sans scowled.

“There, it might still be sticky. May want to wash up,” Sans glared at his family.

“Thank you, Uncle Flint, for being a good family member,” Sans said, making sure his voice was heard amongst the giggles.

“Awe, kiddo come on, it was cute.” Grillby chuckled sending a smirk to his brother who had pink flames passing through him. Sans just made a face as he went off to the kitchen to wash the stickiness off his face. “Careful Flint, you're practically pink,” Grillby teased.

“Shut up,” Flint said as he punched his brother's arm, mood too happy to be ruined.

Sans had expected his moment of happiness to be a short one like it usually was. One brief moment of clarity before he was triggered and returned to his shell, but he hadn't. Through the entire small celebration, he remained positive, shy, but positive. There were moments of panic and doubt as expected but Sans didn't allow them to consume him like usual. He coped and his family acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Sans laughed, ate, played games with his brother, chatted with everyone the entire afternoon and into the evening. Even as the small party started to die down and the family began putting away the food and taking down decorations Sans remained content and happy. He helped carry the food into the kitchen and even as he bumped into Flint numerous times he didn't panic and just let out a quick sorry before going on with his task.

Sans felt so normal.

“Brother?” Papyrus called approaching the skeleton. Sans set down the balloon and turned to face his brother.

“Yeah?”

“Your soul is happy.” Papyrus pointed out watching his brother's soul glow and radiate a light so bright it made the world around him seem dark. Sans glanced down at his ribs and rested a hand over his fluttering soul.

“I feel happy. I am happy,” Sans told his younger sibling and Papyrus smiled and hugged him.

“I'm so happy that you are,” he told him. “Everyone is.” Sans noticed the adult monsters all seemed happier. Grillby's flame was a florescent orange and Sulfi and Flint's own flame was flickering happily. Bonnie was grinning, her buck teeth on display as she laughed at something Sulfi had said. Everyone had always seemed content before. They hardly ever frowned or let their true feelings show so Sans wouldn't worry or blame himself. But now, seeing everyone in such a raw and wondrous joy, the skeleton saw how much of an impact his emotions had on everyone. How just because of his smile and happiness he almost literally lit up the entire room and infected everyone else.

Sans' cheeks tinted a faint blue and Papyrus smiled. His soul the same as it always was, warm, hopeful, and a source of happiness and love.

“Boys,” Grillby said getting their attention. Flint and Sulfi stood by the door with their belongings. “Want to say goodbye?”

“Yes!” Papyrus shouted, taking his brother's hand and dragging him over.

“You'll have to visit again soon,” Bonnie insisted.

“Of course! I'd visit more often if this one was more willing to take the boat ride.” Sulfi nudged her husband. Sans remained in the doorway, glancing up occasionally from the floor as the adults continued chatting. He met Flint's gaze and offered him a small wave, trying and succeeding to some degree to form a smile before looking away but he suddenly felt a wave of shyness overcome him. Flint returned the smile, though, hand extending out but stopping momentarily before continuing forward. He gently rubbed Sans' skull, startling the skeleton at first. Sans ducked down but relaxed and watched Flint's hand as he gave him the affectionate pats. Sans' smile seemed more genuine now, a small chuckle escaping him.

 The skeleton hesitantly released his grip on his sleeve to hold his hand up and shoot a small burst of his magic out like he had with Grillby a few days ago. Flint watched curiously as Sans continued to form little balls of light with his magic before looking around for an answer. Papyrus was staring at them and he made a flicking motion with his hand as he mouthed the word spark. Flint paid attention to the skeleton before him once more and crouched down rested his elbow on his thigh as he aimed and flicked an ember at the magic. Sans' grinned and Flint visibly brightened. The skeleton continued to form small spurts of magic and each time Flint popped one he'd let out a giggle. When Flint had popped four at once and even threw in an extra spark for dramatic effect Sans let out a high-pitch giggle that Flint found to be quite contagious. Neither realized the others had gone silent, watching the two interact in amazement.

Sans heard a clicking noise beside him and turned to face it. The four other monster watched them, Grillby and Bonnie holding out their phones to take a picture and Sulfi was an almost blindingly bright shade of blue. Sans flushed a dark shade and backed away from Flint hiding in his jacket.

“Having fun?” Grillby teased and his brother rolled his eyes.

“Not anymore, thanks to you fools.”

“Awe, we'll visit again very soon so you can spend more time with Sans,” Sulfi promised with a wink.

“Promise?” Papyrus grinned and Sulfi nodded.

“Of course! Now give me one last hug!” Papyrus practically leaped into her arm and Sulfi spun him around, squeezing him tightly before releasing him. Papyrus jumped at Flint as Sulfi picked Sans up and gave him a less aggressive but just as tight and loving hug. Sans cautiously tugged on Flint's pant leg once Papyrus detached himself and Sulfi set him down. Flint knelt down next to the skeleton not sure what to expect.

“No hug, right?” He asked and Sans clicked his teeth together and gave a small nod.

“Y-….Yeah.” Sans still wanted to do something. He didn't have the courage to hug Flint nor did he wish to be hugged by him. But leaving without something felt wrong. Sans extended his arm outward and awkwardly patted Flint's shoulder before giving him a gentle rub and pulling away. Flint stared at him confused before he laughed. Resting a hand on Sans' skull, Flint patted the bone and stood back up. “Next time,” Sans told him when Flint removed his hand. “I'll get better and next time you'll get a hug.” Sans was a bright blue and Flint too was a few shades lighter around his face. His flame flickered happily though and he offered his pinky to the skeleton who watched it before looking at the flame.

“Promise?” Sans wrapped his bony pinky around Flint's.

“Promise.”

And with the promise, they left. Bonnie walked them down to the boats while Grillby, Papyrus, and Sans waved from the house. Sans' hand rested over his soul that felt so lively it was almost intoxicating. The warm feeling only remained as Sans made his way back inside. His fingers curled around his shirt, face contorted into a look of confusion. He felt less tired than usual and more...alive? The world didn't seem so dark and hopeless and his body didn't feel like deadweight but instead actually felt like it was full. Sans was filled with a feeling he couldn't describe and wasn't sure if he had ever felt before. Was there something wrong with his soul? It didn't feel like there was. Perhaps Sans was just so unfamiliar with feeling prolonged happiness. The thought did depress him but it vanished quickly.

“You alright?” Grillby asked noticing his child's perplexed face. Sans nodded, easing his grip. 

“Yeah, I'm gonna go upstairs.”

“You sure?” The flame pressed and Sans just nodded once more, making his way upstairs. “Keep the door open please!” Grillby called and Sans left the door half open. The flame went back over to the door watching Papyrus gather a large lump of snow no doubt burning off his extra energy by playing around.

“Grillby can we make snow cones?” Papyrus asked and the flame snorted.

“We don't have any syrup.”

“Honey is kinda like syrup,” the skeleton said causing the bartender to let out a small chuckle.

“How about you get the snow off your boots and jacket and I can make you some oatmeal with honey, alright?” Papyrus cheered, diving into his snow pile. Grillby closed the door partially and started making his way to the kitchen when he stopped at the sound of a large thump. A loud yelp came from the upstairs followed by another thud and the flame turned to the upstairs landing. He waited for Sans to make more noise or come out to explain himself and the loud noises and he did. Sans threw open his door so hard it slammed against the wall and rattled the picture frames.

“Dad!!!” He shouted dashing out of the room nearly bashed against the railing. “Grillby!!! Dad!!!” He screamed, cradling something in his hands. He sprinted down the short hallway almost slamming into the wall as he skitted to a stop by the stairs.

“I’m right here!” Grillby called and Sans dashed down the stairs. He pressed his hands against his chest as he ran down the steps, nearly falling numerous times.

“Dad! Dad! Dad!” Sans said with each step. He tripped on the last one but caught himself, only faltering slightly in his pace. “Look! Look! LOOK!” Sans held out his hands to reveal his soul. Grillby tensed at the sight, alarmed as to why it was out.

“Sans why did you-“

“LOOK AT IT!!!” Sans demanded, holding perfectly still. Grillby glanced at his child briefly before looking at the soul. He carefully tapped his finger against it to reveal the souls stats and the top of his flame rose. Sans’ face appeared above it, eyes shining brightly.

“Four” he whispered, cupping the soul. The bartender watched Sans’ expression morph grin spreading so wide it nearly consumed his entire face. “Four,” he repeated with more volume. “IT’S AT FOUR!!! MY HEALTH WENT UP!!!” He cheered overcome with joy.

 Grillby watched his soul shimmer and spark. It illuminated the area between them as Sans’ happiness took over. The soul glowed, radiating a light brighter than anything the flame had every seen, San’s magic swirling around it, sparking occasionally like fireworks. The bartender had never seen his child's soul like this before. He could count on hand the number of times he had seen it at all but this...This was the sight Papyrus always talked about. Grillby was envious his child had been able to see this so much. The sight overwhelmed the flame never seeing a soul so lively and happy. And to know that soul belonged to his child made his own swell.

“It went up!” Grillby repeated, his own massive grin growing. Sans nodded, giggling as his sockets began to water with tears of joy.

“Four!”

“Four!” Grillby scooped up his child, pressing him tightly against him and spun them around. The two laughed and cheered both beside themselves by the overwhelming amount of bliss and delight they felt.

Papyrus opened the door, carrying his boots and jacket. He stared at his family in confusion, pulling down his scarf.

“What’s going on?” He asked and Sans spun around, not knowing how his smile grew but it did. He held out his soul revealing the stats to his brother.

“It went up!” Papyrus covered his mouth, eyes wide and darting between his family and the soul. “Four!”

“Four!” Papyrus beamed, abandoning his boots and jacket.

“Four!” Grillby cheered, picking Papyrus up as well to join the hug. The three of them hugged and celebrated until it was late. They would have called everyone back over for another celebration if possible, but Grillby had work tomorrow and Papyrus had school. The bartender tucked his children in giving them each a kiss and tight embrace before he went off to bed himself. Sans was wide awake unable to sleep as he felt his soul beat within him. 

Sans sat up in his bed and summoned his soul. He had always hated it. In his eyes, his soul was a weak, dim sight he should be embarrassed about. But now, it was a sight he could actually be proud of. It gleamed in his hand, the glow reflected off of his person as he stared at it with sparkling eyes. He bit back a grin as his magic swirled around it, creating a sight that Sans was actually proud of. This was his soul. A soul he had believed Gaster ruined. Sans believe Gaster had ruined him in a lot of ways. His body was damaged, soul weak, and mind broken. He feared Gaster had permanently soil him and ruined everything about him. That Sans himself would always be able to see the damage and torture he had endured. 

But now, if Sans were to roll up his sleeve his scars would be gone. If he were to fall asleep his dreams wouldn't be haunted by Gaster. Seeing triggering images no longer caused him to panic and become blinded by flashbacks. And his soul, his life, his being, had gone up. Everything Sans feared he had lost, were slowly coming back to him. The influence Gaster had on him was slipping. 

Sans was overcoming his hurdles. There would be a day where he looked in the mirror and saw himself and not a creature. There would be a day where his fear wouldn't hold him back. There would be a day, someday soon, where he could think of Gaster and not harp over who he once was, but who he had become. 

No longer a slave. No longer a dog. No longer his experiment. No longer Gaster's.

"A monster," Sans whispered to his soul, the soul beating in response. "My own monster." 

Sans glanced down at his sleeping brother's face, watching him breathe steadily for a few moments before returning to his soul. It thumped steadily in his hands filling him with such confidence and certainty. Filling him not with the drug he had feared but the emotion he had forgotten, determination.  

Sans placed his soul back inside of him, staring into the shadows of the night. The shadows he feared, but no more. His fear be damned. No more will Sans allow his insanity to win. No more will he be a slave to his voices and instability. He'll take the medication, he'll go to every therapy session, he'll do whatever it takes to be himself once more. He wouldn't ever go back and never let himself stoop this low again. Gaster had made him and broken him. He had threatened to take everything Sans loved and held dear in life and death. He had tried to and failed just like Sans.  But in the end, Sans was the victor.

He survived. Broken but not shattered. Damaged but not dead. He had spent too long  thinking and believing the words the doctor had told him, but no more. His dignity, his will, his purpose of life, his control over his future, they were Sans' now and Gaser won't ever take that away from him again.

"Your biggest failures are being exposed to the entire Underground," Sans said in a hushed tone. "Everything you valued, your name, your title, your influence, it's gone. You are nothing, you will never be anything, and everything you cherished is gone." Sans smirked as he waited for the voices to come. Only silence answered. "You failed Gaster, and every time they see my face they'll know it. But that never mattered to you, did it? What other's had to say meant nothing. It was all about us and what we thought, what we felt. You wanted us to fear you, to obey you. Obedient slaves were the best experiments, huh? Well, guess what? We aren't your subjects anymore." Sans eye flared as he summoned his magic. Quietly, Sans' shut the bedroom door and turned off his nightlight encasing the room with complete darkness. "And I'm not afraid of you anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm a big supporting or the whole HP=Hope type of thing. So during this chapter, Sans had some bumps, but the reality of the situation finally hit him. He's not magically cured, no one is. But even in our darkest moments, we can find that little push. That little push that is enough to pull us back up to our feet and keep us going, and Sans has found that. Good times are headed our way! Honestly you guys, I'm offended you think bad times are coming. This feel like a bad time to you? Honestly, this chapter is probably the happiest one I've ever written. About time too, huh? Only took 42 chapters. 
> 
> But guys...guys...this feel like a finale chapter doesn't it? Like, there's a lot left to wrap up but damn I was half tempted to just call it quits. But there too much fun left over...
> 
> Thank you all for being so kind and patient!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	43. Friendship

The next week turned out to be one of the best weeks Sans and the rest of his family had ever had. Papyrus' school was wonderful. He had already made a bunch of friends and came home everyday grinning so much his face hurt. His classes were pretty similar to the ones in Snowdin and at times the skeleton even found himself ahead of his peers. Papyrus was practically impossible to tear down and woke up each morning ready to take on the world. He'd wake up and be out the door the moment he finished breakfast giving his family a quick kiss and hug before he bolted out of the house. The relief of the school working out for the young skeleton was a stress reliever for everyone. Grillby and Sans both found it easier to focus during the day knowing Papyrus wasn't in trouble or struggling to fit in.

Sans' new medication was going just as well. The side effects did make him drowsy and rather lazy at times and since he was instructed to take them in the morning meant a large portion of his time with Grillby during the day was spent asleep. The medication seemed to mellow Sans out which Grillby found amusing at times having gotten use to his frantic child always on edge. It was new to see him pass out in odd places instead of peering behind corners. Sans too enjoyed the extra sleep. He was occasionally moody but never anything too extreme. Usually, it was just annoyance or agitation with the infrequent tears but compared to how he was, his family was happy to deal with his huffing and tearful self rather than his unstable one.

Probably the best thing to happen that week was Sans' soul went up another three points. Sans felt more rejuvenated and energized than he ever had before when he wasn't sleeping. He frequently dragged Papyrus outside to go play or would just run around to burn off the extra energy he had never had before. Sans still tuckered out earlier than Papyrus, but if his soul continued to increase as it was he'd be able to do anything! Sans felt unstoppable.

The following Wednesday when Sans returned to Kawa he did something that surprised Grillby, he didn't mention his soul. Ever since his son's soul started to go up he couldn't stop showing it off or talking about it. But for once Sans kept his mouth shut and only smiled and nodded to whatever Kawa was saying. By the end of the session, Grillby found he too kept quiet on the matter. The entire session went by and only Sans' medication was discussed and Kawa was none the wiser of Sans' soul. When it was over, Sans left with a new perception and an increased dosage since he had done so well on the current one. Sans remained silent, happy, but silent still as they walked home together and Grillby's curiosity got the best of him.

“Why didn't you mention your soul?” He asked and Sans faltered a bit in his steps but continued walking.

“Because they wouldn't understand,” Sans answered. “If I had told them they wouldn't focus on it going up and drop it, they'd question why it had. To explain how it went down, why it didn't go back up, how I was alive, why my body reacted more powerfully than what my soul said it was, it's all things that I could explain but they wouldn't understand.” No one would. It's a topic Sans himself didn't even understand a lot of the time. Just because he read what he could from his file and overheard whatever Gaster spoke doesn't mean it ever made sense or that Gaster spoke about every little detail. Most of the time Sans' test just seemed like torture. Gaster would mutter to himself or Sans would be unconscious and unable to hear the answers to the questions Sans had. Sans could only explain what he knew and what he knew wasn't enough. The science behind everything he had been through was very minimal. He couldn't answer the question the doctors would have for him. And if he was honest, he didn't want to.

“And why wouldn't they?” Grillby asked curiously. Sans took in a deep breath and stopped walking.

“Because they don't know what determination can do and I don't either,” Sans admitted with a blanket face. “What I know about it hardly anything to go off of. It came from the human souls, it's powerful, too much will kill you, it's red, it hurts, and if you are dumb and lucky enough to be successful it can make you stronger. I don't know the answers they'll have and even if I did I wouldn't answer. I want them to remain blissfully ignorant of everything. As far as they are concerned, it's just an emotion. They don't know what it can do, what it looks like, how it affect a body. They have no idea and never will. No one will. What I know about it isn't enough and what I do know I don't want to share. As long as they are unaware I'm glad because no one ever should.”

“So is it because of the determination that you are the way you are soul wise?” Sans took a deep breath and shook his head.

“A lot of things were put inside of me, Grillby. A lot of magic, a lot of energy, a lot of soul power, and too much determination. You can see it. You've seen it. You saw my arms and body when I came to you. All those little needle holes were something that was but inside of me. Some of those holes were used more than once and others faded. You've seen Papyrus' body too. You say how different ours were to one another. He only had thirty-seven injections his entire life and twenty-three of them were too keep him alive when he was too weak as an infant. I couldn't even try to tell you how many I've had.” Sans swallowed and took in a shaky breath. “You've seen how Papyrus acts and you've seen how I act. When Ellen told us a while ago about skeletons and how they have great magical abilities, that's like Pap. Pap can do magic beyond what his peers can do because he is a skeleton and also because of the few injects he got of magic and the even smaller amount of determination. Papyrus is pretty much how he should be, the things given to him only helped him stay alive and don't ever really affect him. He's the normal skeleton everyone thinks he is.” Sans shook his head and looked up at his guardian with a sad expression.

“And then you have me,” the skeleton said, barely managing a smile. “I can summon magic adult skeletons struggle to do. I can charge my attacks and have them be as powerful or as weak as I want them to be. Exhaustion isn't my stopping point unconsciousness is. I can still fight with a broken arm and I can aim just as precise blind in one eye. These things are not just things I can do because I'm a skeleton. These aren't even things I can do because I was trained to. Theses are the things that all those little puncture wounds made me able to do. You've seen it and you can still see the difference between Papyrus and me, the power, the soul, and the magic. I'm stronger than him not because I'm a skeleton but because of the labs. Everything about us is different because that's how we were made to be. Our bodies were made differently, our souls were made differently, we were made differently. Add on the determination and everything else I got and that difference only grows. That difference is something the doctors or anyone else won't ever understand. I know this, so I don't bother to explain it or get involved in situations that I need to.

“I've told Foli and Kawa stories, I had to for therapy. I talked about the memories of how badly it hurt, the effects it had mentally, the fear I felt. Those are things they understand, that you understand. My fear, my pain, and my emotions. I described them to you, but never did I talk with her about the more scientifically important details, huh? I never talked about what it was, how it worked, why it did what it did, what it did to me not mentally but physically. The information people like Sulfi would kill for. The powers Asgore had abused and I believe he would again, but they never think of the faults. No one ever stops and accepts that fact that something that powerful should be destroyed. Not even after they've seen me. I am a living example of both the goods and bads of it. How those things can save you and kill you and you are a drop away from both. One drop too much and your body starts to melt and collapse. One drop too much and your magic disobeys your soul. One drop too much and the pain is so great you don't wake up for weeks. One drop between an abomination,” Sans looked up at his father with a glowing socket, “and a friend.” With a blink, the magic was gone and his regular dots of light returned.

Grillby was silent as he stared at his child who had since looked away. The flame reached down and picked his child up resting his body against the older monster's hip.

“If it's any consolations, I think you are perfect in either way.”

Sans smiled and he rested his head against his guardian's chest.

“Even if I end up burning the house down?” He asked and Grillby laughed and kissed the top of his child's head

“Oh especially if you end up burning the house down. Then we can all move too Hotland so it won't happen again.” The skeleton let out a whine and buried his head in the guardian's chest.

“It's too hot there.”

“It'll be fine, you are getting kind of chunky anyways. The heat will do you some good, sweat all this fat off. You getting some meat on those bones of yours.” Grillby tickled his son's ribs and Sans let out a shriek of delight.

 The following day on his higher dosage Sans felt the side effects right away. He had woken up earlier than usual due to his soul beating erratically in his chest. It had gone up once more to ten and Sans had been too excited to fall back asleep. So he took his medication early and eagerly waited for his family to wake up. However, when they did he was half asleep and far too lazy to move. Grillby had to practically carry his child to the table to eat breakfast with everyone. But even sitting up with the warm oatmeal before him didn't keep him up. If anything, the warm steam against his face only made the thought of sleep more enticing. So much so, he found his sockets drifting shut before his face ended up smacking into his bowl.

“Dad! Sans fell asleep in his oatmeal!” Papyrus announced and Grillby sighed.

“Sans you are going to get oatmeal in your orifices,” Grillby commented lifting his child's head.

“'m tired,” Sans whined and Grillby got a packet of baby wipes and started washing the oatmeal of his child's face. “It's the medication.”

“Yeah, they said it'll do that. Has anything else happened?”

“No, just tir-” Sans was cut off by a yawn and Grillby finished wiping the final bit of oatmeal of his face.

“I'll ask Kawa later if there's anything we can do about it, alright?” Sans just shrugged head already drooping but he caught himself before he ended up in his breakfast once more. “You start becoming narcoleptic perhaps we should try another medication.” Sans just shook his head and lifted the spoon full of oatmeal to his face missing his mouth a few times before he finally got it.

“It's fine, I'll just sleep more.”

“That's hardly a solution,” Grillby scoffed, carrying Papyrus' empty bowl to the sink.

Sans did manage to walk himself to Grillby's bar once the family said goodbye to Papyrus, but once inside Sans was out cold. He had fallen asleep at his booth, in the back, even behind Grillby's bar. When he did wake up he was very lethargic and lazy usually choosing to stay behind the bar so he was closer to Grillby and didn't have to shout or move to get his attention.

Sans couldn't complain about the medication really. His lazy moods usually only happened after he woke up from his naps but once it passed his soul was beating and ready to waste some energy. Sans anxiety and panic had gone down significantly as well. He no longer flinched or acted nervous around others and could easily be around Grillby's crowded bar without feeling on edge. The voices happened less as well. They hadn't vanished completely since Sans wasn't on the dosage Kawa wanted him on just yet, but they had slowly turned into more annoying whispers than anything else. Sans also had a little side effect of shaky hands or occasional twitchiness but he had adapted to keeping his hands in his pockets which wasn't far from what he usually did anyway. Overall, Sans was quite happy on his new medication.

“Grillby,” Sans whined, laying on his back on the floor with his arm stretch out to his father. “What time is it?”

“Time to get up from the floor. Seriously, I'm going to step on you by accident.” The bartender said picking his child up. “If you want to stay close sit at the bar, not by my feet.” Sans went around the bar and stared up at the tall stool and groaned.

“Grillby,” Sans cried too short to reach as he lifted his arms up. A few regulars chuckled at the scene.

“You've climbed up before Sans,” the bartender commented, resting against the counter to look down at his son. Sans grumbled as he grabbed onto the cushion seat and pulled himself up. Sans didn't want to admit that the physical exercise did wake him up a little and chose to instead just rest his skull against the bar.

“Awe, little Sansy looks like one of us.” Doggo joked and Grillby tensed at the nickname. He watched his child expecting a reaction but only got a chuckle as Sans titled his head to face the dogs.

“I'm going to be his best customer,” the skeleton stated and the dogs laughed.

“I'm going to have to start charging you for the food then.” Grillby snorted, body relaxing when he noticed his child was calm. 

“Do I get a family discount?”

“More like family interest. Let's see you arrived during December so that's...ten months of food costs times three meals a day not counting snacks...”

“Old man, you're cheap,” Sans said weakly swatting at the bartender.

“Can't make money if I give out freebies to my friends. Ask Bonnie, she owns me a pretty penny for her tab.”

“How high can it be before you kick her out?”

“Not sure,” Grillby admitted unsure if he had the heart to kick his friend out. Sans just smiled a cocky grin and looked at his father.

“I'll make it my goal to find out,” Sans said.

“I can't wait to send you the bill,” Grillby smiled patting his son on the head. Sans huffed and rolled his eyes but they stopped on the clock and he gasped.

“Crap, Pap's almost home. I'm going to go,” Sans said hopping down from his stool. Sans waved goodbye to his father and a few monsters in the bar as he rushed out the door. Sans jogged his way down the semi-busy street fixing his scarf as the wind started to pick up. He made it home before his sibling and caught his breath as he looked around waiting for him. Sans rocks on his heels for a few minutes, watching some monster pass by. More time passed and Sans frowned as he hopped off his steps and made his way over to the riverboat. Not spotting the boat, he figured it must be late and went back home. Sans unlocked the door and went inside turning up the heat as he went over to the kitchen to grab a snack knowing his brother would be hungry. He pocketed it before he took one for himself and sat back outside chewing happily on his apple.

Sans was halfway through his apple when he saw a figure begin to approach the house. The skeleton perked up and smiled, pushing himself up to rush over to the figure but froze. Papyrus' form became clear but something as wrong. He was covered in mud. Large chunks fell off of him as he walked and he stained the snow as he marches his way down the street. A smile was on his face but Sans felt no relief because of it. The apple fell from his hand and his feet began to move carrying him to his younger sibling.

“Hello!” Papyrus greeted and Sans just stood before him. Cuts? Bruises? Was that an echo flower petal stuck in his vertebrae? “Did you have a good day today?” Papyrus asked seemingly oblivious to his appearance.

The smile on Sans' younger sibling's face was the only indication that Papyrus wasn't assaulted but Sans feared his brother was faking it. Where kids bullying him? How else could he have gotten covered in mud? He looked as if he was trampled on or buried alive. Why did he care? Wasn't he in pain?

“What happened? Who did this?” Sans demanded and Papyrus looked at him in confusion. Sans gestured to his body and Papyrus examined himself.

“Oh, I was playing with a friend. That's why I was late today. That and the riverboat man was late. Sorry if I worried you.” Worried him?! He came home looking like he was dragged through the entire Waterfalls and Papyrus apologized because he had worried Sans?

“You expect me to believe that?!” Sans reached out and plucked the echo flower petal from his brother's neck causing him to wince. “There are petals in your bones, holes in your pants, and you are covered in mud and scratches!” Papyrus spun around to try to fully see all the damage and Sans gasped. “Half of your shirt is ripped off!” Papyrus laughed and rubbed at his exposed spine.

“Ha, yeah, a rock snagged on it,” the smaller one said casually.

“What happened?!” Sans shouted, hands reaching out to check his brother's cuts.

“Stop,” Papyrus moaned, pushing his brother away. “It's fine, I was playing with my friend.”

“And you just got covered in mud and scraps? Don't lie to me Papyrus. You don't have to lie.”

“I fell that's all! Undyne and I were sparring and-”

“Sparring?!” Sans gawked, gripping onto his brother's shoulders. “You don't fight Papyrus!”

“I'm not! It wasn't technically sparring since she can't do magic too well. More like just playing around but Undyne and I were just-”

“Who's Undyne? Is she-wait, Undyne? Isn't she...isn't she that fish punk? The one Gerson talked about?” Papyrus beamed and nodded.

“Gerson said hi! Undyne dragged me to him when we first met. I missed math because of it and that's why my back is all ripped and muddy. It was fine, though, we were only playing. We're friends now!” Papyrus laughed and Sans looked horrified.

“That is not friendship, Papyrus! I don't want you hanging out with her. She is a bully,” the taller skeleton said and Papyrus pouted.

“She's my friend!”

“Friends don't beat each other up or drag each other through the mud,” Sans snapped grabbing his brother to leading him inside but Papyrus planted his feet on the ground. “Papyrus!”

“We were playing! She apologized. Sans, you are being rude. You don't even know her.” The skeleton shouted prying his brother's hand off of him.

“I know her well enough from the past,” Sans grumbled the damn kid caused them enough trouble. “And if she is the one who did this to you I know she's not good. This has never happened before with any of your other friends. She's abusing you.”

“No, she isn't! She's really nice, Sans. She was out last week because she was sick. She was with Asgore, they are good friends!”

“I don't like her even more.”

“You are being mean. Undyne is really nice and she's really brave, strong, and she has really pretty hair! You are acting like everyone else. A lot of kids are rude to her or don't want to be her friend because she can be a little aggressive. She doesn't get along with the girls because she likes to play in the mud but when she plays with the boys she is too rough. Monster are nice in the Waterfalls and they try to accept her but they still treat her differently. She said I was her first real friend and the only one who didn't run away after we played. I'm really proud to be her friend and I want to show everyone that she's a really nice monster and not some bully.” Papyrus shouted and Sans clicked his teeth together his anger quickly fading.

“If she's so nice why were you two sparring? Why did she beat you up?”

“She didn't, Undyne said I was weak,” Papyrus admitted and Sans frowned. “Which I am, I guess. I told her I don't like fighting or violence, and she respects that. She said the sparring will help me toughen up because even though I don't want to fight, that doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to defend myself. We didn't really fight or anything like I said. Undyne is trying to get a hold of her magic better, and her aim is kinda off because her eye is gone. I'm not that good, compared to you but even I'm better than she is. I mainly got hurt because her magic is really strong but unstable. It kind of explodes sometimes. She tries really hard, though. She just gets discouraged really easily and throws a lot of temper tantrums. But Gerson is teaching her patience! Gerson said I have great patients!” Papyrus grinned proudly a chunk of mud falling off his shoulders.

“Boys, what are you doing outside?” The bartender asked when he spotted his children standing outside his house. “Papyrus what the hell happened to your clothes?” Grillby demanded rushing over to him.

“I made a friend!” Papyrus grinned and Grillby looked at Sans who offered no help.

“That's great but your clothes...”

“Me and my friend were playing!”

“O...kay, can you be more careful in the future? I don't want to have to buy you new clothes every week.” Papyrus nodded and Sans just stomped his foot upset with how casual the two were being.

“This isn't okay! I'm going to school with you tomorrow,” Sans announced and Papyrus huffed hand on his hip.

“Why?”

“To make sure you are okay. Papyrus you look like you got beat up! I'm sorry but I don't believe that this was some accident and if it was I don't want you playing with Undyne anymore.”

“Sans you are being unfair,” Grillby told his child and Sans looked offended. “We always believed you and stood up for you. Why won't you believe your brother?”

“Grillby look at him!” Sans gestured and the flame sighed.

“Yes he is a mess but it happens. I doubt Papyrus will let himself be this messy again. If he wants to be friends with Undyne he can be. It's not our place to say who he can and can't be friend with. Even if we don't know her too well I trust your brother's decision and you should too.” Sans folded his arms and pouted. Anyone who did this to his brother wasn't worthy of being his friend or even close to him.

“I can invite Undyne over so you two can meet her! She doesn't really do anything after school and it's Friday tomorrow!” Papyrus suddenly gasped and grabbed his guardian's hand. “Can I have a sleepover?!”

“No,” Sans replied but Papyrus ignored him.

“Sure,” Grillby agreed with a shrug. “Do I have to meet her parents or something?”

“Undyne's mom and dad are dead.” Grillby and Sans both looked distraught but Papyrus went on as if he didn't notice. “Yeah, they died when she was a baby by a human. Undyne lost her eye to the human too. Gerson has been taking care of her and Asgore does too! She visits him every Sunday for tea! He tried to find her a home but Undyne prefers to be by herself or with Gerson. Gerson said hi by the way.”

“You saw Gerson?”

“Yeah, Undyne dragged me to him. He gave me a crabapple!”

“Okay, well, why don't you just invite her over and we can go from there okay? If she wants to stay she can call Gerson or Asgore or...whoever.” Papyrus cheered, flicking some mud as he jumped up and down. Sans just went up to his room to sulk knowing his family was right but still wanting to be angry. His overprotective nature felt challenged by Undyne and the damage she did to his brother. Even if they were friends she was far too aggressive for Sans' liking. But Sans did have no reason to go again their friendship. Grillby was right and he had no right to say who Papyrus could and could not be friends with. Papyrus was his own person. Sans couldn't let him overprotective nature get in the way of that. He could beat Undyne up if she turned out to be nothing but a bully, and he would. However, if she turned out to just be as Papyrus said, a child with too much strength for her own good...Sans _really_ had no right to judge her.

"Brother?" Papyrus asked leaning in the doorway. Sans looked up at him and offered him a small smile. "Are you still upset about Undyne?"

"No, I...I'm sorry. I was being overprotective." Papyrus cheered up at the apology going over to hug his brother but Sans held him back. "You're still muddy." 

"Yeah, Dad told me to shower," Papyrus said with a laugh. "But hey, tomorrow if she comes over will you be okay? I know you are wary of her and at times she can be pretty rude but she's just a blunt person sometimes. She doesn't really have a filter. I just don't want to invite her over if you really don't like her. I'd rather you be happy than have her own." 

Sans let out a deep sigh and shook his head. He ignored the dirty on his brother and hugged him anyways.

"I promise I'll be nice. If she's your friend she can be my friend too, right?" Papyrus beamed and nodded, squeezing his brother tightly. "Now I need a shower too." Sans chuckled and Papyrus pulled away.

"Shower and a nap?"

"You know me so well." 

"Brother it's barely half past four," Papyrus noted and Sans just shrugged. The two showered away the mud and Sans helped Papyrus remove all the gunk between his bones before he dried off and took his nap. Papyrus went downstairs nice and clean and rested on the couch with his Grillby.The two watched tv for a couple minutes before a figure outside their house caught the skeleton's attention.

“Dad there's a cat outside our house,” Papyrus called staring out the window.

“You can't let it in, kiddo. You know I said no pets.” Grillby said flicking through the television channels.

“No I mean like, a monster cat. There's a girl outside our house.” Grillby let out a noise of confusion and turned away from the TV to face the window. The two watched as a blue cat shifted nervously in the snow in front of their home. She was bundled up in her bright winter attire stepping closer to the house before taking two steps back.

“You know her? Is she from your old school?” The bartender asked but the skeleton shook his head.

“No,” Papyrus mumbled recalling the face. “That's...Sans' friend I think.”

“Sans' friend?” Grillby repeated as Papyrus stood up on the couch leaning closer to the window as the cat monster reached out to knock on the door but chickened out and backed away. Papyrus jumped off the couch and rushed upstairs to the brothers' bedroom. Sans was asleep on the bottom bunk still and Papyrus leaned over and shook him.

“Brother! Sans!” Papyrus called and the skeleton grunted, swatting his brother away. “Sans, no, wake up! Wake up!”

“What?” The skeleton wined opening up a socket.

“Someone came over to see you.” Sans stared at his brother his sleep slowly fading into confusion.

“Who?”

“I don't remember their name. They are waiting outside for you.” The older skeleton sat up and rubbed at his face climbing out of bed. With a yawn, he trudged down the stairs and went over to the front door. He turned the knob and opened the door peering out to see who was here. His socket's widened all sleep fading away when he saw the cat before him frozen on the front steps. 

“Kitty?!” He exclaimed recognizing the sky blue fur and flower clip attached to her cat ear hat. Sans glanced behind him spotting his brother and Grillby watching him closely. He blushed and stepped outside closing the door behind him.

“Hi Sans, um-I just. I was...walk...by….and...Miss Bonnie said you had a party-oh but, that was a couple weeks ago. I-”

“Are you okay?” Sans asked and Kitty stopped her stammering.

 “Yes! I'm fine. I just wanted to come over and well, since you don't come to school anymore I just wanted to see how you are doing. I-um, I can just-” she took a step back ready to bolt but Sans reached out and took hold of her mittened paw.

“Would you like to come inside?” Sans found himself asking and Kitty's face turned bright pink.

“O-Oh! W-Well i-if you-if it's not-um-”

“Sans who's this?” Grillby asked from the doorway, flame flickering happily. “Your school friend?”

“I-I don't know if we-if he thin-”

“Yeah, this is Kitty,” Sans said and the cat shut up. “Can she stay over for a bit? Oh, if you want that is. You didn't answer before.” Kitty stared down at the ground and took in a deep breath before nodding and looking at the skeleton.

“Yes, I'd like that very much,” Sans smiled and held open the door for his friend. Kitty stepped inside and pulled down her scarf, basking in the warmth of the home.

“Hi!” Papyrus greeted from the couch.

“This is my friend Kitty,” Sans introduced. “You probably remember my brother Papyrus. This is my Dad Grillby.”

“Hello,” Grillby smiled and Kitty waved. “It's nice to see my son not asleep for once.” The bartender joked.

“Still sleeping through the day?” Kitty laughed and Sans grinned.

“Even more so than before,” Sans replied with a wink and the cat monster giggled into her scarf. “We're going to go upstairs,” Sans told Grillby taking hold of Kitty's paw again and leading her over to the stairs. The two went up to the skeleton's bedroom and Sans closed the door behind him. Kitty had begun removing her many layers of winter clothing and folded them neatly before laying them on the desk.

“Oh wow, even now you are still way ahead of me in-” Kitty spun around when he felt someone touch the back of her head. She let out a small noise of surprise when San stood inches away from her hand extended outward. The skeleton just blinked, pausing for only a moment before he gently brushed the back of his friend's head.

“Your fur was sticking up.” He commented and Kitty blushed reached up to fix it. “I got it, don't worry about it. What were you saying?”

“U-Um, t-the book, heh.” She pointed to the physics book on Sans' desk where his old school supplies were neatly stacked. “You are still way better than me.” Sans just smiled and shook his head.

“Naw, you're still way better than me at reading and writing. That's way more important than this stuff.” Sans patted the book and Kitty pulled one out and flipped through it.

“I doubt it. Mrs. Joyp makes math seem like the most important thing ever. I can barely pass the tests most of the time and can't understand fractions for the life of me.” Sans snorted and rested against the desk.

“Fractions are easy.”

Kitty gawked at him. “Fractions are the devil's math.”

“They are so easy if you learn them correctly.”

“Mrs. Joyp doesn't teach very well. She just points to the book and says 'the answers are there!'” Kitty stood up straight and dramatically portrayed her teacher as she spoke. Sans snickered beside her.

“Want me to help you?” Sans offered.

“Oh no, you don't have to! I wasn't trying to complain or anything like that! I didn't mean for it to seem like I was trying to-”

“Chill,” Sans said pulling out the desk chair and sitting Kitty down in it. “It's fine. If anything it'll be fun. I haven't used my skull much anyways, I'm probably worst than you are.”

“That's pretty doubtful when you have a calculous book on your desk.”

“Meh, it's for decoration,” Sans said as he pulled out a notebook and pencil. “Now what are you stuck at? Multiplying mixed numbers with whole numbers or multiplying fractions using models?” Kitty's eyes widened and looked genuinely frightened.

“You can multiply them?” Sans bit pack a laugh and just nodded.

“And divide.” The look of horror only grew. “Don't worry, it's easy. Here, why don't we start with something easy do you know what a reciprocal is?”

“...What?”

“I thought you said you were learning fractions.”

“I never said I was good at it! If anything I stated I was barely passing. Just assume I know nothing about fractions and start from there.” Sans smirked and let out a chuckle.

“You're so bad at math.” The skeleton laughed and Kitty lightly smacked his arm. Sans continued to laugh but he reached out and took the clip off of Kitty's hat and set it on the desk. “Okay, say you have twelve flower pins, three are blue, five are golden, and four are green. What fraction of the clips are golden?”

“Five,” Kitty answered and Sans gestured for her to continued, “out of twelve.”

“See!” Sans grinned nudging his friend. “You aren't so bad after all.” Kitty playfully scowled at the skeleton.

“You're awfully mouthy for a skeleton who couldn't read the word geometry when we first met.”

“And look how far we've both come from then,” Sans sighed. “Now onto equivalent fractions!”

Kitty stayed over for a few hours before she needed to go home. The entire time they spent upstairs laughing and teasing one another. As Sans waved from the doorway he felt his family's gazes burn in the back of his skull. He turned around and saw them grinning.

“Shut up.” He said before they even spoke, marching back up to his room.

The following day Sans waited outside his house for Papyrus to arrive after school. He tried not to get too overwhelmed as he waited but the entire day his emotions were all over the place. The medication didn't help in the slightest causing his worry to become panic and his distrust to become anger. He waited outside both overcome with worry and bitterness. His brother was late again a habit that wasn't a problem before Undyne started to be his new 'friend'. His foot tapped against the floor impatiently as he stared intently at the river boat entrance. The Snowdin school let out and Sans glared at some kids who passed and stared. His usual happy or sleepy mood was gone and his side effects were taking over as his emotions fluctuated. 

Sans did cheer up when Kitty came back to chat for a few moments. She thanked him for the help and even showed him the test she had managed to pass. When she left with a wave and a hug Sans returned to glaring. Sans perked up when he saw his brother walking beside a taller fish like creature who was wearing Papyrus' hat and jacket. Sans scoffed, did she not have any of her own? His brother could catch a cold! The two giggled and Sans stepped closer watching two girls from Papyrus' old school pass by with a sneer as they whispered to one another. Papyrus shrunk away from them eyes on the ground and Undyne stopped. Her one good eye narrowed and her lip curled back in a sneer revealing her sharp teeth. Sans paused in his movement, watching as the fish monster let go of his brother's hand.

“Hey!” She shouted at the girls who turned to face her. “What did you say to him?” Undyne asked, fists tightening by her side.

“Mind your own business orphan,” one snow monster snapped and Undyne growled.

“They fit well together, huh? Both abandoned and alone, how sad.” The fox-bunny hybrid said and Undyne raised her hand and summoned a weak, blue spear. The girls let out a shriek and ran forward as Undyne chased after them from behind launching her spears. The spears did very little, either vanishing right after they launched or exploding to cause the girls to scream as snow rained down from the explosion.

“Wanna say that again jerks?” Undyne challenged throwing another spear that didn't vanish this time and flew right over their heads. “I’ll shove this spear in your eye you snow town freaks!” Undyne threatened, holding her summoned spear like a javelin. The two quickly scurried off at the threat and Undyne’s spear broke and faded as she relaxed. Sans stood a few feet back impressed and shocked by Undyne’s actions. The fish monster returned to her friend and rested a hand against Papyrus' shoulder offering him a smile.

“Thanks, Undyne,” Papyrus said with a smile as he brushed off the snow that had landed on him from Undyne's explosive attacks.

“If they bother you again let me know. I’ll teach those punks a lesson.” Undyne grinned and it faltered as Sans stepped forward. Papyrus followed his friend’s gaze and perked up seeing his brother.

“Brother, hi!” The skeleton bounced over to his sibling, latching onto his arm. “This is Undyne! She’s my friend at school I told you about!” Papyrus introduced them and the two stared at each other quietly. Another wide grin broke out across the fish’s face showing off her jagged, sharp teeth as she stuck out her hand.

“The other skeleton! Nice to finally meet you! Papyrus talks about you constantly.” Undyne laughed and Sans hesitantly accepted the hand to shake it. He tensed up as Undyne grip tightened and pulled him forward. Undyne's grins turned evil, her yellow eye narrowing. His hand twitched, magic sparking to life as his eyes began to glow a low growl escaping him but before Undyne could pull Sans into a fight Papyrus stepped forward and batted the monster’s arm with a small bone. She yelped and retracted, rubbing her forearm gently.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wrestle my brother,” Papyrus told her standing between them. “Sans doesn’t like fighting. It tires him out,” he added standing in front of his brother. Sans' magic faded and his body relaxed.

“That means he’s not training enough!” Undyne bellowed, standing triumphantly. “He needs to train with us! I bet he’s even stronger than you Pap! He needs to work on that!”

“Naw,” Sans said as he waved her off. “No one’s better than my bro.” Sans flashed a wink at his brother, hands shoved into his pockets. “Pap’ll be the strongest monster in the whole Underground, huh bro? You’ll have to take care of your lazy brother.” Sans joked and Papyrus playfully rolled his eyes.

“Dad won’t let you lay on the couch forever,” Papyrus argued and Sans just shrugged.

“Probably would if I asked.”

“As if kiddo,” Grillby snorted resting in the doorway.

“Woah, your dad’s a flame?” Undyne gasped mouth hung open. “Wow, your whole family is super weird Paps!” She laughed and Sans fidgeted nervously. “That’s super cool! Wish I had a cool dad, though, I guess my old man was probably a hero and Gerson is too. Well, I guess old Asgore counts kinda, huh maybe my family is weirder than yours. But they ain’t much in terms of theatrics. They’re always busy or sleeping.”

“That’s Sans, only just always sleeping.” Papyrus giggled and the skeleton relaxed once realizing how normal Undyne was. Sans wouldn't openly admit it, but maybe he had acted irrationally before. She was crazy, loud, and often sounded rude, but she wasn't so bad.

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Undyne? I made spaghetti,” Grillby offered.

“Really?” Undyne asked in total shock.

“Yeah! I can show you those action figures I told you about,” Papyrus added and Undyne looked hesitant before a sincere expression crossed her face.

“Yeah, thank you. I’ve never been over to a friend’s house before,” she admitted and Papyrus locked arms with her.

“Me neither! Maybe one day I can go over to your house once you’ve become a guard member! We can have a sleepover and hang out all the time! Or you can come over here Grillby doesn’t mind, right? Can Undyne come over to play?” Grillby nodded, stepping out of the way for the children.

“As long as it’s okay with whoever is watching her.”

“See? Whenever you want! You’re my friend and can come over to play anytime!” Papyrus beamed and Undyne felt a small lump form in the back of her throat that she quickly swallowed down. She reached out and hugged Papyrus tightly.

“Thanks,” she mumbled. Not wanting to seem weak she quickly washed away their emotional generosity by pulling Papyrus into a headlock and nugging his skull. “Now you can’t get away with training! I know where you live,” she laughed loudly and Papyrus whined.

“Undyne!”

“Ha! It’s out of love Paps!” She pulled his away poking at his bony body. “It’s my duty as your friend to toughen you up. No one’s gonna mess with you ever again! We’re gonna work so much we’ll practically be bleeding strength!” She shouted visibly vibrated with extra energy.

“You two can go work off the energy after dinner,” Grillby told them setting the table.

“Right! Can’t train on an empty stomach! You need to get some meat on those bones!” Undyne elbowed Papyrus' ribs as she removed the scarf and hat he lent her. Papyrus reached around and swatted at Undyne's ponytail and the fish monster scoffed tossing the hat at him.

“I don’t think that’s pastable.” Sans snickered, stealing a noodle before Grillby could lightly smack his hand away.

“Sans not at the table,” Grillby stated with a smirk.

“Your family is filled with a bunk of dorks,” she snorted and Papyrus giggled.

That dinner had been one of the most animated dinners the family had ever had. Undyne was already loud on her own but with Papyrus her energy seemed to amplify. Sans and Grillby were silent for the most part just allowing Papyrus and Undyne to talk to one another and have a good time. When dinner passed Papyrus took his friend upstairs to show off his action figures and Sans remained by Grillby helping him clean up. Seeing Papyrus so happy did make Sans happy as well but he couldn't help but feel a slight ting of jealousy not use to having to share his brother's attention and love. But Sans knew better than to let that emotion take over and just focusing on spending time with his guardian.

“Oh shoot, I should probably get going,” Undyne said aloud glancing at the clock. The group had all gathered around the television to watch some movie. Sans had passed out on his father's lap ten minutes in but Undyne and Papyrus were interested.

“Really?” Papyrus whined and draped himself across her lap.

“I mean, yeah. It's almost ten,” She commented.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be? I can walk you home if you'd like or you are welcome to spend the night,” Grillby offered. Undyne's eyes widened and Papyrus sat up grabbing her hands.

“Yeah! You can spend the night!!!” Undyne looked hesitant glancing between her friend and the flame.

“I...”

“We can stay up and watch tv or play games or I don't know! Oh, this is so exciting!”

“I...I don't know,” she muttered overwhelmed by the hospitality. “I've never had a sleep over before or been invited to one.”

“Me neither! We can have our first together!”

“A-Are you sure?” Undyne asked Grillby. “Y-You don't have to. I can go home it's really not that far.”

“I mean, you can if you want Undyne it's up to you. I don't mind you spending the night if you want. If you have plans you can go it's okay to decline.”

“No, I...I don't have any plans.”

“Then you can stay. Would you like me to call Gerson or someone?”

“No it's-it's okay, you can but he shouldn't care too much. As long as I show up once in a while he's okay.”

“So you're going to stay?” Papyrus asked hopefully and Undyne slowly nodded.

“Yeah, I...I guess I am.” Papyrus jumped up on the couch and cheered bouncing on the cushions. The movement caused Sans to stir in Grillby's lap and the skeleton grunted, swatting blindly at his brother. “Brother wake up! Undyne's spending the night!” Sans just grunted once more.

“Cool bro,” he muttered face buried in Grillby's lap.

“I'll let Bonnie know so she can watch over you while I'm at work,” Grillby said pulling out his phone to text the bunny.

“Is Bunny your mom?” Undyne asked and Grillby snorted.

“She wishes,” he muttered under his breath.

“No, she's Dad's friend but is kind of like our Aunt,” Papyrus told his friend and she hummed.

“Oh, that's cool. I wasn't sure if you had a mom or anything. Adopted families are weird sometimes,” Undyne said glancing between the skeletons. “Are you two real brothers?”

Grillby's inhaled sharply fingers frozen over his phone. Sans' eyes snapped open hands gripping tightly onto Grillby's pant leg. The flame looked down at his elder child ready to handle the situation before Papyrus spoke up.

“Yep!” He answered cheerfully and Undyne was content with the answer.

“Yeah? That's awesome, I always wanted a sibling.” She twirled her webbed finger around her hair as she daydreamed about the sibling she'd never have.

“Your friends can be your family too!” Papyrus noted and Undyne let out a laugh.

“You saying you're my little brother Pap?” She asked and Papyrus giggled.

“Sans'll fight you on that.”

“Oh yeah? I can take him on. Sans is probably rusty anyways. All that sleep has made him weak.” The elder skeleton just looked up at his guardian with a blank expression before tilting his head back to look at the two children.

“I'm sure you got better things to do than that.” He said casually and Papyrus nodded hopping off the couch.

“He's right! We have a sleepover to enjoy! This is so exciting!” Papyrus squealed. “I can lend you some pajamas! Oh wait, Sans' would fit better! Oh, do you want to shower? There's still some mud in your hair. Oh, after you shower can I play with your hair? Do you know how to braid? There's so much to do! It's okay! We have all night! Let's go!” Papyrus dragged his friend up the stairs the fish no match for his energy. Grillby chuckled at his child's energy and Sans rolled onto his back stretching out like a cat.

“You alright there?” The bartender asked his child and Sans nodded.

“I lost my bedroom.” He announced and Grillby pulled out his phone and patted his child's head.

“You can sleep in my room.” He told his child dialing Gerson's number. After two rings the turtle picked up.

“What is it, hot man?”

“I just wanted to let you know Undyne is spending the night here,” Grillby informed the turtle.

“Yeah? So? Kid can do what she wants. I ain't the boss of her. Hell, no one is. I don't care where the little runt runs off to as long as she stops by once in a blue moon I'm fine. Ya' don't need to call me up every time the squirt decides to spend the night.”

“I'm sorry for being courteous, old turtle.” Sans let out a snort and Grillby placed a hand over his child's mouth keeping him silent.

“Should be, wasting my valuable time flame pants.” Gerson snapped and the line was silent for a few moments. “But hey, she likes it cold when she sleeps. It'll probably be hard for your ember ass to get it below boiling, though. She'll also fight you on it but if you play with her hair she calms down real easy. Doubt the runt'll do much in terms of a temper tantrum, though.” Grillby just smirked at the turtle's concern.

“Thanks for letting me know. Glad to know you care so little.” Gerson only scoffed.

“Don't get smart with me Grillby. She just got over a fever and being around the hottest thing in Snowdin isn't ideal. Make sure she stays hydrated. Her scales get itchy if she doesn't.” On that note, he hung up and Grillby laughed to himself closing his phone and setting it aside.

“He sounded angry,” Sans commented removing the flame's hand from his mouth.

“He's just angry he has a soul. Can't admit he cares about things other than his shop.” The bartender rubbed his child's head and Sans whined. “Hey, Pap!” Grillby called and there was a beat of silence before the skeleton emerged from his room.

“Yeah?”

“Tell Undyne she is welcome to shower if she wants and if it gets too hot for her you can turn down the thermostat. You know I can't tell the difference between in temperature.”

“Okay!” Papyrus said returning to his room.

“Awe, Grillby's being a good dad.” Sans teased and Grillby flicked his skull.

“Excuse me for not wanting a fish monster use to water and moisture to get sick while spending the night in one of the warmest and drying places in Snowdin. I'm very aware of the impact my magic has on others kiddo. You'd be surprised by how intolerable folks can be to a little heat.”

“I think it's nice,” Sans said resting the bartender's arm over his face. “It's like my permanent space heater. Paps gonna be freezing tonight with Undyne.” The skeleton stretched and curled up next to his father.

“Everyday you turn less into my son and more into my house cat.” Grillby snorted petting his child's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems...kinda fillery or dull? It does to me and I just didn't know how to make it not for some reason. It focused more on the grows and the characters and the emotions but still it felt like it was missing something. So I apologize if it's wonky. The next one will be more eventful. I was so happy I managed to fit that Kitty scene in there. I almost had to drop it and tried my best to make it work. Happy times!
> 
> So guys let's talk about the end...I tried to do a rough estimate of what's left and how I am going to do what and my first count was that I would have four chapters left. That, however, is such a small number that I took a step back and was like "Hey there pal, maybe you should add a few digits just in case." So I decided to say I expect this story to end in (at max) 7-8 chapters. That includes the epilogue as well. How is it ending so quickly? Well, because there will be a time skip. As much as I'd love to write out all these wacky adventures, in order to progress and fully pull into that recovery station, time must past so that wounds may heal. But still, less than 10 chapters left, prepare yourselves.
> 
> Also I plan on making the month of July one of my most productive months this...well, possibly this year heh. I plan on doing a few small art projects at least once a day and once those projects are done I will write with whatever time I have left in that day (or during breaks where I need to stretch my legs). Because of these projects and whatnot, the updates have been slower. That, and the fact that these updates are longer as well. I'm lucky to have them be lower than 10,000 words. That's a lot to write since most fanfic authors post around 2,000 to maybe 4,000. But, I write how I write and it takes times. I do have the next chapters at already around 6 pages which is nice since I have family visiting this weekend and won't be able to do much. So...yeah!
> 
> Thanks so much for all the comments and all the new readers!!! It seems like everyday someone new pops up and hello! Thanks for reading this and enjoying it so much.
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	44. Strength

Over the past few weeks, Grillby had been talking to Asgore when his children weren't around every couple of days. With his children on a speedy route to recovery and much happier than they had been, the flame felt as if it was time to stop ignoring the king and offer a hand. Asgore had many questions but a lot were ones Grillby himself didn't know how to answer. Asgore also discussed how Doctor Tur had many questions as well but the bartender wasn't sure how he felt about talking to the monster. Grillby wanted to go down and see what they had found himself, but if he told his children where he was going Sans would most definitely wish to come along and Grillby didn't want him child near the area even with his medication working as well as it was. Sans was recovering well, but the flame wasn't sure if the family could handle another medication caused episode like last time.

“Have you found any spare time yet, friend?” The king asked and Grillby glanced behind him through the front window to ensure his children were still in their room asleep.

“I'm trying to find the right time. Sans is very persistent with his stance on the matter. He doesn't want you two to know anything and wants all the information destroyed. I'm trying to reason with him but it is a lot easier said than done. He's the one you two should be talking to but that isn't a likely situation to happen for many reasons.” Asgore sighed on the other end of the phone as Grillby finished.

“Is there a way to work out some compromise somehow? I know he wants everything gone but is he willing to at least meet halfway?”

“I'm not sure. I haven't brought it up since he started the new medication. He may be more tolerable now but I'm not sure how comfortable I am with him jumping into a situation like this. I mean, with all the questions, information, and Tur there I'd rather not have him be too overstimulated.”

“I understand Grillby, I do. I've told you before but what I have to ask is just information and hardly anything personal. I do not wish for him to see anything either, we can even meet at the hotel if you wish for dinner or even lunch. Just a small conversation to answer a couple questions that is all. Then you and he can decide what to do after.”

“That's sounds nice and all but it's the questions I am more concerned about. Even if they aren't personal to you I have no idea how Sans will react to it. Just because they don't revolve around his trauma doesn't mean it won't spark something.”

“What if we send over a list of topics we wish to discuss? You could talk them over with Sans and find out what he is and is not comfortable talking about and we can form our questions around that.” Grillby stared down at the snow with a blank expression.

“That actually isn't a bad idea. Would you be able to do that?”

“If it'll help the situation, yes.”

“That would definitely help lower the risks. There're others things that could trigger him, though and he still has no reason to agree. He's not exactly fond of you and willing to do it out of kindness. Perhaps if we try to work out some compromise he'll be easier to persuade. Information for information maybe. If there's an equal trade off Sans should be more compliant if he gets something in the end.”

“And he desires his file?”

“All the files to be exact but I can try to get him to agree on the ones involving him and Papyrus.” The line was silent for a moment before the king spoke.

“I can arrange that.”

“What?”

“Their files, I am willing to hand them over to you or whoever if Sans will cooperate more. Whatever information not relating to them directly I shall keep here away from all prying eye so no one but I can see them. Is that a fair enough agreement?”

“Perhaps. I still don't know if I want Sans to see them or talk about it just yet. Especially if you wish to involve Doctor Tur. His title is...” Grillby trailed off knowing Asgore understood.

“I'm afraid it is Tur who wishes to know the most. The lab is in his home after all. Although most of his questions do revolve more around the more scientific side. I've told him he wouldn't be able to question Sans too harshly or expect him to be, well, not expect him to be very agreeable. From what we have discussed he simply wished to gather more information on the matter. This Gaster was responsible for a lot of things before he vanished. Tur took his place but still struggles with a few issues he wants to know if Sans had any idea about since he is the only one who was around the former royal scientist. If Sans is willing, I can talk to Tur to ensure he speaks only about the certain topics Sans agrees with so that he isn't uncomfortable.

“As for Sans' wariness and your own, why don't I just give the files to you at a different time. After all, you said you still wish to come see the lab. We can all meet up, go out for lunch or dinner, discuss a few things, ask a few questions, then you can follow us back to the labs where I shall give you the file. Does that sound adequate enough for you and him?” Asgore asked and the flame just lets out a deep sigh.

“I'll have to see Asgore. We can plan all we want but it's up to Sans. Either way, I can hopefully find a way to come down and try to help even if Sans declines. I can at least read the papers, not nearly as well as he can, though.” Grillby looked back through the window and saw the skeleton in discussion exit his room and make his way over to Grillby's bedroom. “Hey, I got to get going. I'll call you again later once I've talked to Sans.”

“Alright old friend, do take care.” Grillby hung up the phone and entered the house. “Hey,” he called and Sans turned around startled by him. “What's up?”

“What are you doing outside?” The skeleton asked, hands curling around the bars on the rail as he leaned closer.

“Talking to Asgore.” Sans' face scrunched up. “I'd like to talk to you about something,” Grillby said, turning off the lights and making his way upstairs. “But first, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I think I just slept too much. It's kinda hard to fall asleep.” The bartender rested a hand against his child's back and led him to the bedroom, partially closing the door behind him.

“Well, I've been talking to Asgore about the files and he's willing to give us yours and Papyrus' if you lend him a hand in trying to understand everything,” Grillby told his son who rested against the bed.

“What does he want to know?” Sans asked and the bartender was pleased he didn't reject the idea right away.

“From what he told me, just general information. Nothing personal or private, he just wants to know what everything is and to understand some things because no one else remembers. He said he will send me a list of the things he wants to talk about so you can go over them and see what you are and aren't comfortable talking about. Doctor Tur also wishes to tag along. Since you are the only one who knows about Gaster, he wants to ask if you know anything about things relating to other areas. Gaster was the former royal scientist and had a lot of duties that are now up to Tur to figure out. Again, we'll know what they want to ask and you are in control over what you want to talk about.” Grillby explained watched his child's wary expression.

“I...don't know about that,” Sans answered hesitantly, clicking his teeth together.

“I know, and that is what I told Asgore as well. He reassured me that they both just wanted to talk about general things and nothing pertaining to you or what Gaster did to you two. At least not to the personal degree like it is in therapy. This will all be controlled by you. You don't have to say yes and if you do you don't have to answer questions you don't want to and we can leave whenever you want.” Grillby watched Sans think it over, hands shuffling around in his pockets.

“But if I agree I get my file?” Sans asked and the flame nodded.

“And Papyrus'.” The flame confirmed and sans stared at his guardian with a firm face.

“And you are letting me go?”

“Yes, like I said this is only a talk. You talk to them, answer what you want, and then I'll go with Asgore to pick up the files.” The skeleton frowned at that.

“Why doesn't he just bring them?”

“Because I don't want you to see them just yet,” Grillby answered and Sans' sockets narrowed.

“But they'll be here anyways. You're going to bring them home, I can see them anyways when you get home. Are you going to hide them or something?” Grillby didn't respond and Sans was becoming upset. “Grillby.”

“I don't want you looking at them, not yet. When you are completely stable on your medication we can see, but not yet.”

“But they'll be here anyways!” Sans shouted completely outraged.

“Yes, they will be They will be in our house safe. No one will see them, no one will know about them, they will be safe. And when you are ready, truly and honestly ready, we can talk about looking at them but until then I won't let you see them.”

“Why?” Sans snapped. “It's mine! You don't even know what's in it! I don't go around and hide and steal things from you! What the heck is all this therapy and medication for if not to prepare me for this? I'm better! My soul is going up! I'm not weak anymore so why won't you let me have them? It shouldn't even matter to you anyways! You are just doing this to be cruel!”

“I'm not doing this to be cruel, Sans. I know how triggering these things can be. You may think you are ready but you aren't. You need to be stable first. I'm not saying this because I don't trust you or because I don't think you can do it. It's so hard to actually look at these things, kiddo. You may think it's easy because you know what's inside of it and because you think it's simple to do but you have no idea how hard it is to actually see it in reality. It's something that can really harm your perception and can easily spark an attack. You need that stability first. Please just be patient. I don't want you to suffer because of your impatience. I don't want you to ruin your progress because you couldn't wait. Get better first, and then we can start working toward these things, alright?” Sans stared, jaw firm and gaze hard.

“I'm going to go back to my room,” Sans said walking over to Grillby's bedroom door. Grillby reached out and rested a hand on his child's shoulder but he shook it off.

“Sans I don't want you to be upset.”

“I'm not I-” he let out a low growl wanting to take his frustration out but not having anything to take it out on. “I am but it's just annoying. All of it. How am I suppose to get better when you and everyone else won't let me try? I keep trying to step forward but you make me take the longer path and I'm just frustrated. I want to be done already. I'm tired of being broken. I'm tired of being told no or that I'm not ready. I'll never be ready, not when you guys won't let me even try. You keep telling me to follow the same path but also tell me to make my own. I already cope and deal with things different from you and everyone else so how do you know what's best for me all the time? Your situations weren't mined. You can't compare your recovery to mine. I've always needed a push to get going and to progress. Let this be one of them.” Sans ran his hands over his face and sighed loudly into his hands before they fell to his side.

“Sans this-” the skeleton held up his hand to silence his guardian. 

“I...don't want this to turn into an argument or debate. I'm tired and upset. I'm fine and I'll be better tomorrow. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I know you know what's best and I know I should trust Foli's advice. You both are experienced and know about these things. But if everyone was cured the same way there wouldn't be a reason we see different therapists. I know you are trying to be a good father and looked out for me, but try to trust me and let me decide what's best. There's only so much coping I can do right now. I can talk about everything without panicking. The medication is getting rid of my side effects and habits. I am better so let me work toward my next challenge. Let me start learning how to deal with this in reality where it matter. I'm done dealing with the past. I need to work toward accepting it as it is in the present. Seeing my file, seeing the information, maybe even seeing the labs, I don't know. I don't want to just be stuck being able to talk or think about the past calmly. I want to be able to see it before me and know I progressed. I want to be able to look at who I once was in those document and see someone so far from who I am today that it's a completely different being because that's who I want to be. I don't want to be afraid and I don't want to hide, so please stop trying to make me. It makes me feel like I haven't progressed at all and that you are all still afraid that I'll snap at the slightest mention of Gaster.” Sans hand curled around the doorway as he took in a deep breath. “And if you still do, please stop. I don't want you to think every situation will end with me panicking. Haven't I proved that I'm better? Hasn't these past few weeks been enough proof that I'm not broken anymore? That I can handle myself? That-That I'm better? Am I the only one who thinks that way?” Sans' voice trembled and he turned away for a moment trying to collect himself. He let out a shaky breath, clearing his throat in case it would crack. “So please think about that. I don't want to be the only one who believes in myself. I know what my limitations are and I know better than to let my emotions get the best of me. I'm better, I'm getting better. Stop making me feel like I'm not.” Sans closed his eyes and turned away, hands shoving into his pants pockets. “Goodnight.”

“Sans,” Grillby called stepping forward and the skeleton stopped and faced him. “I love you.” San's body relaxed and but expression remained exhausted.

“Love you too,” he replied quietly before making his way back to his room. Grillby watched him go and remained in the doorway for a few minutes after Sans shut the children's bedroom door. The flame pushed away from the doorway and entered his room. He stood in it glancing around before his eyes rested on his closet. He watched the door debating his actions but it seemed as if he had already decided. His hand curled around the knob and opened it and he was greeted by his clothes. Tilted his head upward Grillby stared at a small box that rested as far back and out of sight as it could be. His flame lowed and body cooled as he gazed at the box. His hands twitched by his side, moving upward a fraction of an inch as if ready to grab the item but his soul pounded heavily in his chest and he flaked. He quickly shut the door and rested again it breathing rather heavily. Closing his eyes he pushed away tossing one last glance at it before going to bed.

The following day Grillby managed to catch Sans alone in his bedroom. The skeleton wasn't avoiding his father but the flame wished to speak with him alone and with Papyrus home due to the weekend that was hard to do. Papyrus ran off, though, most likely to play with Undyne who came over every other day, so Grillby had his chance.

“Sans?” He asked as he knocked on the door gently. The skeleton looked up from his book and faced his guardian. His expression was wary at first but quickly faded into a more neutral expression. “I'd like to talk to you about something,” Grillby said and Sans pupils darted over to the bed signally the flame to sit. Grillby remained standing but chose to lean against the desk. “If you want to you can come with me to talk to Asgore. All the same, rules will apply. But in two weeks you'll be at the dosage Kawa wants you at. After three days after that dosage, seventeen days from today, if you still want to see the files and the medication is working, I'll give you the files to do what you wish with them.” Sans' sockets widened. “But, you have to wait until then. Asgore wanted to meet next week most likely Sunday when I have time off and you don't have therapy. That means I'll have the files here for a little over a week. When you are ready, as long as you're medication is fine, you can see them. Is this fair to you?” The skeleton nodded. “If I have them here in this house, do you promise not to try to look for them?”

“I promise.”

“Do you want to come with me to talk to Asgore and Doctor Tur?”

“If I do I get my file?”

“Yes."

“Then yes.”

“You understand what will happen, right? We will meet up with them and maybe go out for lunch or whatever. Beforehand, Asgore will send me a list of the questions and topic they wish to discuss with you. You then go over them and mark what you will and will not discuss. I'll let Asgore know what you choose so they can prepare. They'll ask their question and you'll answer or you can tell me and I'll answer. The conversation is up to you. Whatever you feel comfortable with we'll accommodate for. After the discussion is done I'll send you home and then go by myself with Asgore to get the files.”

“Okay,” Sans said in agreement and Grillby's flame flickered as he held his breath.

“Asgore...” the flame started thinking over his words. He looked up at his child who watched him closely. “Asgore would like me to see some things while I'm with him.” Sans' back straightened but he gave no response. “He wants me to look through the labs and most likely the files as well.” The skeletons' fingers curled in his pockets. “Would you be okay if I did?”

Grillby see his file? See the labs? See the place Sans was kept and abused? Flip through his file filled with his documented torture? No. Sans was not okay with that. The very thought of his guardian seeing that side of him made him want to be sick. Sans wanted the file to destroy it so no one could ever see it. He didn't want anyone to ever know about his past and wished that everyone would forget. That's why he worked so hard. That's why he went to therapy and took his pills. So that he could be normal. So that when someone looked at him they saw a regular monster and not some freak. Grillby had seen Sans at some bad times but Grillby hadn't seen him like that. Sans didn't want him to. Even when his habits had returned Sans was so embarrassed and ashamed of them. He tried so hard to not be what Gaster made him be. He tried so hard to make sure no one saw him like that. But if Grillby were to see his file he'd see Sans in the light he never wanted to. Sans had no idea what information was found but to be honest any was too much.

Sans had started to tremble, his sockets watering. Every bit of him wanted to answer no. Every part of him wanted to banish Grillby from ever seeing his file or the labs. Yet, why didn't he answer? Why did he feel so heavy? All Sans wanted was to keep this to himself. No one needed to know. No one would ever know. Only Sans would know. It was his secret. His world. His past. His and his alone.

Alone. Was that it? The ideas of being alone? Keeping these secrets to himself like he once had? Was the idea of someone knowing his pain that rewarding? It had been in the past. Sans felt so much lighter as he confessed memory after memory in therapy. He felt so weightless and like the years of hiding were pushed away and he could stand. Was this situation the same? If Grillby saw the labs would Sans feel better? If Grillby read his file would he feel lighter? His pulsing magic said no but his soul felt constricted, bound by the chain of secrecy once more. Was it so bad if Grillby say them? He had never reacted negatively before. But at the same time, Grillby had never seen something to this extent before. He said it himself didn't he? There's was a difference to being able to think he could handle it verse it being right in from of him. What if after seeing the labs Grillby was disgusted? What if after looking at Sans' file Grillby wouldn't think him the same?

The rooms, the photos, the voice recorder, the document. They were all about the experiment WD01S. Grillby would see the room he was kept in and realize he was no better than some caged animal. He'd see the room Sans was experimented on in and know he wasn't a real monster. He open the file and read over page after page of documented data only ensuring his thoughts of how atrocious and putrid Sans was. Or what if he only pitied him? And every time Grillby saw Sans he didn't see his son anymore but the creature he tried so hard not to be? What if seeing it was enough for Grillby to believe all the lies Sans had tried to tell him when they first met? What if the moment Grillby left was the last time they'd be a family?

Irrational.

 _**“** _ _**But is it?”** _

No, that's not Grillby. Grillby would do that.

 **“** **T̨heń why̶ ́a͡r͠e̛ you ̴cryi͞n̶g̨?҉”**

Sans was afraid.

**“If you believed in him so much, why do you doubt him?”**

_**“You must know the truth already. It's sad that you even tried to deny it.”** _

_**“** _ **Pi̶t͠iful͝.”**

“Sans?”

The skeleton snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the voice. His body shook and his fingers dug into his skull as he panted. His trembling pupils darted up to him his guardian kneeling before him. Sans jolted back only to bump into the dresser and rattle the items on it. The sound alarmed him causing him to flinch away from it. The skeleton clung to himself hunched over as he tried to calm himself down.

“Sans?” Grillby tried again and his child responded by staring still panting heavily. “What happened?” He asked calmly but Sans just gripped onto his arms tighter.

What happened? Sans was afraid. He allowed his panic and irrational mind to consume him. What bothered him most was he didn't believe it was just his instability. Sans was very much afraid that Grillby would be gone. That somehow their days as a family were numbered and that Grillby was going to change. Irrational. He knew it was. That would never happen. But he couldn't believe that.

“I-I-I'm….I-I'm scared,” Sans admitted in a small and timid voice.

“Why are you scared?”The flame asked in a gentle tone.

“I-I should-ldn't be. It's-It's irrational. I-I m-messed up and-and I didn't calm-calm down and I-I can't-” Sans cut himself off trying to take in some air to calm himself down but his breaths were too quick.

“Hey-” Grillby lifted his child's head to get his attention “-it's okay. Whatever happen it is okay. Just breathe.” Sans' breathes were erratic for a few moments before he managed to take in one shaky breath.

“I-I just got scared ab-about you seeing the-the labs and the f-files. I panicked and I-I thought you'd—I thought I'd loose you and that-that you'd hate me and think that I was bad lik-like I always said I was. A-And-And you-you'd change and we wouldn't be us and be a-a family be-because you saw wh-what I-I was.” Grillby's shoulders sunk.

“Sans, I would never-”

“ _I know_.” Sans stressed, suppressing a sob. “I know and-and I can't stop thinking-ing about it. Because-Because it's just like you said and-d you-you might think y-you won't change but when you see it y-you will.” The skeleton couldn't repress himself anymore and released wail and he curled up into a ball. He cried loudly into his knees and Grillby wrapped his arms around his child holding him tightly as he gently rocked the two. Grillby just remained silent only occasionally speaking to comfort his child as he cried. He waited for Sans to calm down rubbing his back and holding him close until he just let out small hiccups.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Grillby asked his child. Sans just sniffled, rubbing at his face.

“I don't know.”

“If it makes you this upset I won't go. But I also want you to know I won't change because of what I see. You've always feared that. You thought if you told me about your past I'd kick you out. You thought if you told me about what happened to Gaster I'd hate you and think differently of you. You always thought these things but they've never come true, right?” Sans nodded weakly. “I know I haven't seen something to this extreme before but I know it won't affect how I view you. I just want you to know that, okay?” Grillby told his son cupping his cheek and brushing away the extra moisture under Sans' socket. The skeleton leaned into the warm hand and nodded once more.

“I know,” Sans whispered lacking the energy to raise his voice any higher.

“Why don't you get some rest kiddo. You're missing your afternoon nap,” Grillby said in light humor but Sans didn't laugh. The bartender set his child on the bed but Sans held onto his shirt preventing him from leaving. The flame sat on the bed and waited for the skeleton to speak.

“It-It helped me before when I told you about the labs. Would it help me again if you saw them?”

“I don't know Sans. If it helps you to have someone to relate to and know what you are talking about then maybe.”

“Did it help you?” Sans wondered and the flame looked away.

“No, it didn't. I wasn't a fan of letting others get involved in that type of stuff. Bonnie and Flint know a lot but they still don't know everything and I'd prefer to keep it that way.”

“Does it not feel better to talk to them?”

“It does, but that's what I have Flurry for. Stuff like this, the visual coping is...hard. Hard for me I should say. But I tried to inflict my view upon you and that wasn't fair. Recovery is a long road and something that I'm not even off yet but I shouldn't try to keep you on too.”

“...Is it still hard for you to see stuff and talk about it?” Sans asked after a moment of silence.

“Talk about it no. Talking is the easy part. It's seeing that's hard.” The flame thought back to the box in his closet. “Me and Flint, we both have this box filled with stuff. Mine's a bit more filled but it mainly filled with things Flint grabbed before we were forced underground. Trinkets, stuff our parents were fond off, memories really. I have parts of my old uniform in there and some other things too. I think I can count on one hand a number of times I've looked inside it. Usually, I can't get past the opening the lid.” Sans watched as Grillby's flame darkened and lowered before rising as he snapped out of his sudden depressive mood. “But that's my burden, not yours. You already said you didn't want to be like me in terms of these things. Maybe you'll have the strength I didn't.”

“Would it upset you to see the labs and file like the box?”

“No, it's a different feeling. Just like if you were to look at my things you really wouldn't be able to relate. You could maybe feel empathy for me but what's inside doesn't have the same meaning. If I were to see your things I would probably feel how I always feel when these things come up. I usually get pretty pissed, not at you but at Gaster. Probably get very somber and maybe depressed imagining you there or seeing whatever is in the file. And after I come home I'll probably hug you and your brother and maybe spoil you for a bit wanting to reassure you both that those events would never happen again. That as long you are under my care no one will harm you and you will be loved unconditionally and be given a life you should have always had. One with a bed, and a house, and someone who loves you very much.” Sans watched Grillby with wide pupils feeling like he was going to cry again. He reached out and hugged his guardian tightly and the flame returned it with just as much force if not more.

“Bet Pap will probably like that,” Sans said and Grillby lets out a small laugh.

“He'll take advantage of it, you mean. We'd be eating nothing nice cream and cinnamon bunnies for a week.” Sans let out a quiet giggle.

“That doesn't sound so bad,” Sans admitted and Grillby snorted. A comfortable silence fell between them and Sans pulled away to look up at his guardian. “The lunch with Asgore,” he said and Grillby met his gaze, “I...I'll go.” The bartender's flame rose in surprise. “As long as everything you said happens. I don't want to talk about things I don't want to and I want my file.”

“I promise you, Sans, you'll be in total control and I'll make sure I get those files.” Sans nodded, glancing around the room to avoid eye contact. He opened his mouth to speak but his voice cut off and he closed it, taking a deep breath before trying again.

“I'm scared of what might happen if you see them. I'm even more afraid of what'll happen if you see the labs too.” Sans admitted hands tugging against his parka as he fidgeted. “B-But I trust you.” Sans fists clenched keeping his nerves at bay as he cautiously glanced up at his guardian. “So please don't come home different.” Grillby rested is forehead against his son's.

“I promise.” The element said in a gentle tone.

Late that evening Grillby sent a message to Asgore saying next Sunday they'd go out to lunch and that Sans would be with him. Two days passed before Great Dog dropped off a letter to him and inside was a paper with a list of topics he wished to discuss with Sans. Grillby sat Sans down and went over each one with him and he was impressed with how willing Sans was to speak of them. To be fair, though, they weren't very personal. The topics ranged from questions about the inner-workings of the Core to what certain things were. There were only two questions Sans didn't wish to answer that were what the black substance around broken machine was and what had happened to cause it to break. Sans himself was surprised by the odd topics for many revolved around the Core, a thing Sans had no idea about. Sans had seen Gaster work or even mention the Core a handful of times. Sans really didn't know why the third-floor ventilation system kept breaking or how to fix the overheating problem on the bottom floor. Sans was now worried he'd not be able to answer a lot of their questions for him. He wanted to in order to get his file but when it was about things he genuinely didn't know the answer too there was little he could do.

“How the cooling system was made and where the blueprints are?” Grillby asked reading off the list and Sans huffed.

“Any question about the Core just put yes,” Sans huffed, tired of the questions. “I was kept in a room. Why would they think I know where blueprints are or how to fix their broken stuff? I wasn't his pet that he traveled around with.”

“Asgore said he didn't say much Tur. He probably isn't aware of your situation and just thinks you were there.” Sans rolled his eyes.

“Should have told him something at least. What if I don't get my file because this guy thinks I know everything?”

“Even if you can't answer those you can answer most of the important ones,” Grillby said looking over the list. “You answered all the ones Asgore wants for the most part. You said you'd be willing to talk about almost all of them as well so, either way, you at least tried which is all you can do.”

“They should have all this stuff already,” Sans muttered looking over the list. “If the blueprints or notes aren't there in what they found then they don't exist anymore. There's nothing I can do about that.”

“They still can't read any of it,” Grillby said writing down the word WingDing on the back of the paper in WingDing. “They don't know what any of it means.”

“What what means?” Papyrus asked entering the house. Sans looked up to answer him but stopped when he saw Undyne enter as well. Papyrus smiled cheerfully oblivious to the private matters his family was discussing.

“ **This** ,” Sans said in a low voice before returning his gaze to the papers. Papyrus smile fell slightly at the language before it returned in full force.

“Undyne I'll bring the snacks outside. Can you wait for me by the mailbox?” The fish pursed her lips, yellow eye darting between the family before she nodded.

“I'll get started on our snow fort.” She told the skeleton before leaving the house. Papyrus waited for the door to be closed before he made his way over to the table and pulled himself up into a chair.

“ **What about this?** ” He asked his brother and Sans rested against the table.

“Asgore can't read it.”

“Is this that thing you were talking about?” The younger one asked his guardian and the flame nodded.

 “Sans agreed to get help Asgore understand whatever was in the labs and in return Sans will get your guys files. We were just going over what he wanted to talk about but there is a lot to go over. Since everything is in WingDing they can't really even read any of the information they found.”

“Are you seeing him Sunday?”

“Yeah, how'd you guess?” Sans wondered and Papyrus shrugged.

“Undyne usually has tea with Asgore on Sunday but he rescheduled because he said he was busy. This meeting, do I have to go?” Sans and Grillby shared a look.

“Would you like to go?” Grillby asked.

“Would you like me to go?” Papyrus directed the question to his brother and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“I'll be fine if you don't.” Papyrus nodded fiddling with the end of his scarf.

“I don't really want to if that's okay.”

“Why?” Sans found himself asking. Usually, Papyrus always wished to go with Sans to places he knew the skeleton would be uncomfortable. That plus the fact that they'd be discussing topics pertaining to the memories Papyrus lost Sans thought his brother would be the first one on board.

“The files and...that stuff, it's important to you but not to me. I don't really have an attachment to it like you do. I don't know what inside and I don't want to. The labs maybe because I remember them and it's the place we were kept and lived but the files they...they only have bad memories right?” Sans didn't answer. “I don't want to know what those memories are because they don't really matter. I don't remember them or know what they even are except from what you told me. But even you don't know what went one when I was alone. Whatever information there is doesn't pertain to me anymore. And I'd rather not get upset because of what I see because right now I'm...” Papyrus trailed off with a sigh and looked up at his brother with a sad expression. “I don't have the burden you do and I don't want to either.” He admitted and Sans glanced down at the table. After a moment of silence, he reached across and took his brother' hand offering him a smile.

“And I never want you to,” he said squeezing his younger brother's hand. “Go outside and play with Undyne. I'll join you when I'm done.”

“You will?” Papyrus gasped his face morphing into a look of utter joy.

“Yep, I'll bring out a snack too, okay?” Papyrus jumped off his chair and hugged his brother tightly.

“You're the best!” Papyrus cheered, planting a skeleton kiss to the side of his brother's head before he rushed out of the house. Sans smiled fondly, rubbing the spot Papyrus kissed.

“Didn't think he'd say that, but I guess he's right.” Sans voiced staring at the door. “He doesn't have any attachment to any of this. As far as he cares, his life started when we arrived at your bar.”

“Yours did too,” Grillby noted but Sans just let out a small, sad laugh.

“I'd like to think so and to some degree, I suppose you are right. I started to live that's for sure. But it's barely been two years since we left the labs. So much has happened in that time and so much has changed, but if someone were to ask about my childhood my first thought wouldn't be this house or you. It would be Gaster, the labs, the times before Papyrus. I'm happy that's not his, though. When Papyrus looks back his childhood will be filled with nothing but happy memories of this house, a family, and love. I'm glad at least he realizes that too. That my pain doesn't have to be his pain. That just because I want to do all these things he doesn't have to follow. He's becoming everything I could have ever hoped he would be.” Sans said fondly. All he ever wanted for his brother was for him to be safe and happy. Knowing he got the life he always deserved made Sans feel like everything he did to keep his brother alive was worth it. It was worth it for his smile, it always would be.

“You both are far from being that same two skeletons I first met,” Grillby said to his child and Sans tore his gaze away from the door to look at his guardian.

“That's a good thing. We've both changed.”

“It's a great thing.” Grillby rested against the table with a soft smile on his face. “I'm glad you said we. It's nice to recognize your brother's progression, but you always ignored your own.”

“It's kind of hard to now,” Sans confessed, resting a hand over his soul. “I know I've changed a lot over the past months but the underline feeling of fear was always there. It's hard to feel like I was getting better when I was still afraid. No matter what I did or how much it looked like I improved each night I was still afraid of the dark. I know not to now. I know nothing is out there waiting for me and I know no one will hurt me. Even if I panic or react negatively, when night comes I'm not afraid. That freedom is something I can't overlook. I feel so much lighter, so much more hopeful. To be truthful, I don't even feel like the same monster and I'm not upset by that at all.”

“You aren't the same,” Grillby told his child. “You've finally just now started to see who you really are. It's like what Foli said when you first started going to her. You haven't had any time to figure out who you really are. You've been taking care of Papyrus and burdened by your past for so long. Now you don't have to worry about either and who you really are is starting to come out. This is who you were always supposed to be. This life is one you and your brother should have always had but didn't. That doesn't mean it's too late to start living like a kid, your brother does every day.”

Sans looked around his home taking in the environment that still felt new and exciting to him. His meals were no longer regulated and given to him once a day. He had a kitchen filled with food he had access too whenever he wanted. What he ate wasn't what gave him the most energy and nutritious to keep him alive and stable but home made meals. He didn't eat in the corner of his room scarfing them down but sat at a table with his family eating with a fork instead of his hands. Days weren't spent waiting for Gaster but doing whatever he wished. Sans' free time was no longer sitting in his blank and empty room clawing marks into the walls or trying different key-codes despite incorrect answers shocking him. Sans could watch TV, play with his toys, go outside. Even now, with a home so perfect he couldn't ask for anything else, Sans still had the choice to leave. He could leave to go to Grillby's, school, the Waterfalls, anywhere. The door was there and he had the power to open it and leave. That alone was something so unfathomable to him. It always overwhelmed him at times. It made his home feeling different from everywhere else. The labs all felt the same no matter where he went. Now if Sans was tired of his home's feeling he could simply leave. Even right now in the middle of talking to Grillby Sans could get up and just walk out the door just because he wanted to.

The life everyone always said he should have had. The life with a bed, a family, a home, freedom. A life without fear or pain. A life Sans knew would take years to really get used to. There were still moments where simple things confused him and Sans guaranteed there always would be. Little conversations pieces, items, mannerism, things that you learn from being around other and free. Things that he, a monster trapped in a room in a hidden lab for nine years, wouldn't ever understand. It didn't bother him, though. If anything, it excited him. Each day didn't hold an unknown horror but a potential wondrous discovery. One Sans had the freedom to look for whenever he wished.

“Yeah,” Sans muttered pupils trailing back over to the door.

“Tell your brother I'm making lunch and that Undyne is welcome to stay,” Grillby told his child sensing his obvious distraction. “We can finish this later.”

“'kay.” Sans nodded, grabbing his jacket and hat before his hand curled around the knob of the door. He studied his hand as he turned the knob listening to every click and noise that came out as he opened the door. He held the door open staring out at the endless white snow Snowdin never failed to display. He felt the cold wind brush over his cheekbones and let out his breath watching it disperse.

“Sans!” Papyrus shouted from his fort. “Come join my team!”

“What? Fine! I'll take you both on!” Undyne launched a snowball at Papyrus' fort and the skeleton giggled.

“You coming?” Papyrus asked noticing his brother still on the porch. Sans looked down at the steps before back up at the world before him. Sans felt his smiled grow as his foot stepped over the threshold, the door closing behind him.

“Coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, every chapter feels like an ending. Just watch the real ending come and I'll be stuck like "what are words."
> 
> Eyyy, so you guys ready for some final audience participation? Asgore and Tur have some questions, but what about you guys? Feel free to ask any that I can hopefully answer in the next few chapters that (hopefully this isn't a spoil) will revolve around the labs and the times of captivity. 
> 
> Also, these next...well, probably the rest of the chapters are going to be monsters. They have the potential to be super fucking long and will be very reliant on pacing at least until this little diddle is over with. So, the next two chapters (or three depending on the length) will be written together and not so I can go back and edit or fix if need to so the next update will take longer than usual. But, on the plus side I'll have two updates done so yay. 
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments! <3!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	45. Lunch

Grillby and Sans were currently waiting outside the hotel for Asgore and Tur. They dropped Papyrus off with Gerson and Undyne before taking the boat to Hotland and walking to their destination. Sans rocked back and forth on his heels his raised medication improving his mood more with the long periods of silence the new medication gave his skull. Foli had been wary of the meeting and Kawa too seemed apprehensive with the medication's side effects but it did not deter Sans in the slightest. He knew they were only looking out for him to ensure that his anti-psychotic didn't freak out again but Sans would rather find out now if it was really the right one's for him rather than later. Sans knew what to expect now. He honestly didn't think anything could be worse than his previous drug incident. Also, nothing would compare to the pain of determination. The medication made Sans moody but Sans was very aware of that. He was normally in very good control of that and in everyday life he wouldn't be triggered by a serious mood switch. This, though, Sans knew he'd need all of his composure and if his therapy session had prepared him for anything, it was this.

He glanced up at Grillby who looked around. He offered a smile to the monster who passed by and Sans rocked on his heels. Sans wasn't too sure what to expect and that made him feel uneasy when he thought of it too long. There were many things that could go wrong, and Sans knew Grillby felt nervous about it as well. His flame seemed more agitated than normal. His usual bright orange body flickered red and yellow. Sans found himself squeezing his guardian's hand, for once offering the reassurance.

“Nervous?” Sans asked and Grillby lets out a small chuckle.

“A little, you?”

“Kinda.”

It took only a moment for the King's large frame to exit the hotel. He looked around before spotting the two behind him and smiled down at them.

“I'm glad you came. I'm sorry for being tardy,” Asgore said with a gentle smile. Sans felt his decent mood shrink by Asgore's presence but shook his dislike for the monster away. This time with him would definitely test Sans' limit when it came to his emotions and getting them under control. Asgore was always a trigger for him whether he means to be or not.

“It's fine,” Grillby waved off giving Sans' hand a squeeze. “Where is Doctor Tur?”

“He will be arriving shortly. The elevator was unfortunately not big enough for the two of us.” The king let out a small chuckle and Sans clicked his teeth together. “Thank you both very much for coming, especially you Sans. I promise you that your files shall be given to Grillby at the end of our discussion regardless of how much you answer.” Sans just nodded. “Well, shall we wait inside?” Asgore gestured to the doors that opened allowing a short, fat, dragon-like monster to step out. Sans scanned him and tensed spotting a familiar lanyard around the monster's neck. The royal scientist's card. His key card that granted him access to any lab room he wanted. Sans recalled Gaster's vividly.

“Sorry for the delay,” the dragon monster said straightening his dark green sweater. “I hope you weren't waiting long.” Sans slid behind his guardian watching the monster carefully.

“No, they just arrived as well. We were just about to head inside,” Asgore answered.

“Very good, there is much to discuss. I'd rather not waste any time if you don't mind. I have quite a lot of-” Tur's eyes landed on Sans and his voice cut off. “Oh, I was unaware you'd bring a child with you.” Tur watched Sans who peered out from behind his guardian's leg. “Do you not have a babysitter?” Grillby passed a look to Asgore who rested a hand on the scientist's shoulder.

“I'm sure Grillby does Tur, but you see Sans here has so generously allowed us to ask a few questions regarding the location we discovered below your home.” A look of complete shock flashed across the scientist's face. He glanced between Asgore and Sans, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“You are the creat-!” Tur reached into his pocket but Asgore stopped him. His large hand wrapped almost around the scientist’s entire forearm shooting him a warning look. Sans and Grillby both stood still, eyes glued to the pocket.

“There’s no need for that Tur,” Asgore said in a low tone, waiting for the monster to raise his arm before letting go. Tur's mouth was pressed into a firm line as he watched the king.

“No need for what?” Grillby asked, hand resting on his child's shoulder when he felt him step behind him even more so.

“Nothing, personal matters is all. Shall we?” Asgore motioned to the door but no one moved. Sans’ sockets narrowed pupils trailing down the doctor’s body causing him to shiver.

“What’s in his pocket?” Sans demanded, taking a step out from behind his guardian.

“Nothing, really Sans, why don’t we-” Sans eyes flickered a low growl releasing from him. Asgore was such a horrid liar, still, is.

“Asgore,” the flame said in a firm tone. The king began to sweat but gave no response. “Show us or we leave. You are making Sans upset.”

“Grillby no, please. I can't,” Ashore begged but the flame just took his child’s hand and turned to leave. “Grillby, please, it’s-“

“This.” Tur reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stack of photos. Sans released his guardian’s hand but Grillby held onto it. The bartender stole one glance at the photos before he faced the king with a venomous glare.

The top photo revealed a picture of Sans and Papyrus both asleep in the far corner of some small room. They were dressed in hospital gowns and appeared to be in some sterile clean lab.

Sans felt his teeth grind against each other, the sound echoing loudly inside his skull. His entire body veered away from the photos once spotted but upon closer inspection, he felt invaded. Before him were photos of him and his brother in the labs kept in the pocket of some stranger. Not just a stranger, but the royal scientist. A position held by the man who kept them in said labs. Did he think he had the right to them? Did he think he owned these photos? That information? It was Sans'! Those were his! Asgore tried to hide them from him, but they were his. How dare he tried to hide them from him. How dare they even look at them.

Sans shoved against his father freeing his hand. Grillby reached out to grab him again but Sans teleported away and landed in front of the scientist. The lavender monster flinched when Sans appeared and flinched once more when the skeleton snatched the photos from him. Sans clung to them blinking away from the group.

“Sans, wait,” Grillby said to his child who appeared a few feet behind him. Sans just held onto the photos and stepped back glaring.

“They're mine!” Sans snapped taking a defensive stance ready to fight anyone who tried to take the photos from him. Grillby inhaled and held it as he thought of some way to get the pictures but found none. Grillby would end up missing a limb faster than he could grab them. Instead, the flame turned his attention to the king who looked incredibly guilty.

“Grillby allow me to-“

“Why the fuck do you have those with you?” He barked, flame a dark red.

“I will explain friend.“ Grillby’s flame darkened even more so as a warning, “Grillby, please. I will explain just-”

“Do not say calm down, Asgore.”

“Okay, I will not. Just let me explain. I know I shouldn’t have brought them and I didn’t to be honest, Tur did. He brought them to see if you or Sans wanted to see them but I told him not to. I then thought that maybe Sans would be more at ease and more trusting if he saw some proof or evidence I was going to keep my end of the agreement up. It really wasn’t supposed to come up at all unless Sans started to lack faith in me.”

“Wonder why he’d do that. You’re so good at keeping your word,” Grillby snapped and Asgore looked guilty.

“I understand you are upset and you have the right to be. But they aren’t bad photos or at least they aren’t the worst.”

And he was right. As Sans flipped through each one, studying every detail of them he noticed they were far from being the most horrific ones. They all were of Sans and Papyrus together. The first photo was a day or so after they first met, which was Sans crouched next to a toddler smiling happily as the child slept before him. The second must have been after Sans had hit Papyrus for they both sat in the corner of the testing room trying to get away from one another as much as possible. The third photo was of the two in a small room together, their room. Gaster must have taken it while they were asleep for they both were in the far corner of the room curled up against each other. It was taken early on. Sans knew this from the lack of markings on the walls. This was the only photo with written words on it as well, telling Sans exactly the context of the photo.

**WD01S + WD02P FIRST NIGHT SUCCESS (?)**

The last photo was of Papyrus much older. The two stood in one of the testing room not smiling but not frowning either. The camera focused above their thighs and the both skeletons seemed to be unaware the photo was being taken. They stared at one another, mouths slightly ajar as they whispered. Sans stared at the shock collars around their necks and clenched his jaw. Sans knew there was an after photo of this, he’d seen it. Asgore and Tur must have left it behind and he was thankful. The photo’s here were innocent and the skeleton wasn’t sure if he could stare at a photo of his own charred neck and twitching body and still go to lunch.

Sans slid the second photo behind the fourth focusing on the third and first one. His soul raced as if he was expecting some sort of jump scare but the innocence and happiness of the photographs helped ease some of the tension. These photos were the first piece of evidence Sans had seen of the labs in almost two years. Part of him was terrified as if he had been secretly hoping it was all just a bad dream even though he knew it wasn't. Another part of him was oddly relieved. A calm feeling countering his beating soul reminding him that soon all the information on him and his brother would soon be his. Every bad photo and every good one. This was just the first batch and soon he'd have them all so that no one would ever know about subject 01S or 02P. There would only be Sans and Papyrus.

A shadow cast over him and Sans flinched, clutching the photos. He relaxed when he spotted his guardian a foot away. Sans could tell by his flickering and low flame that he was worried. He didn't need to be. This...this was good. Sans could show him. He could see the milder moments of Sans' past and the skeleton could watch and see his reaction. He could see if Grillby would change as he feared or remain the same. Sans glanced back down at the photos and held out the first one for him. Grillby crouched down and carefully took it. Sans stood beside him and pointed to Papyrus in the photo.

“This is one of the first times we met,” Sans told him and the flame stared at it taking in his young children. Papyrus looked barely older than three while Sans looked far younger than what his age must have been. He wore his usual hospital gown that hardly covered him and make him look smaller and more unnatural. The two skeletons now looked so different. Grillby couldn't explain it but just the way Sans looked at his brother in the photo was out of pure fascination and joy. He seemed so oblivious and new to everything in the photo and Grillby found that oddly disturbing. He seemed more abnormal. He now realized that Sans really wasn't the same as he once was. He understood his child's fear for Grillby was going to see him in a light he truly hadn't seen him in before. Grillby was about to learn everything there was on subject 01S and 02P. Not his children, not even the two homeless children he met almost a year ago. This was WDG01S and WDG02P.

Sans watched his father closely before he took a deep breath and held out the third picture. It took a second for Grillby to leave his thoughts but once he did he took the photo and looked it over. He spotted the characters on the back and flipped it over to read them.

“First night?” He asked in a soft tone.

“We weren’t allowed to be in the same room without being monitored because he didn’t know what would happen. This is the first time we shared a room together for a day.” Grillby nodded and looked between the back and front of the photo before he carefully pressed his finger against the characters. Sans watched as a small line of smoke came off but remained still as Grillby burnt holes into the photo. When he was done he blew on it and dusted a few lingering traces of ash away before he looked over his handiwork.

**——S +——P FIRST NIGHT——**

“That’s better,” he commented and Sans bit back a smile. “You seem more like yourself here,” Grillby admitted, comparing the two photos. “Can't really judge Papyrus, he's sleeping in them both.”

“Papyrus is always Papyrus when he's this young,” Sans said with a gentle smile and Grillby tried his best to ignore the last part of the sentence. The bartender turned his head to look at the other pictures but Sans pressed them against his ribs.

“It’s okay, they’re yours,” Grillby said handing over the other two. Sans glanced between them and the other ones, clicking his teeth together. Hesitantly, he removed on hand from the pictures to take the other but quickly retracted.

“Don’t burn them,” Sans told his guardian before he cautiously held the photo’s out so the back was to him.

“Are you sure?” The flame asked and Sans offered the best smile he could which looked more pained than he would have wanted.

“No,” he said honestly but gave the photos over anyways. Grillby turned over the second photo and felt his stomach drop, dread starting to wash over him. This is where it was going to get worse. “I…I had to hit Papyrus,” Sans said giving context to the photo. “We were….we were like this for a while after. He was scared and I-uh…” Sans didn’t finish his sentence. The flame recalled Asgore's words and how these weren't the worst photos and felt sick. Staring at the who children so isolated and afraid made him ill. Knowing this wasn't the worse to come just intensified it.

With a slightly trembling hand, Grillby turned the last photo and Sans clicked his teeth together. Sans had no need to explain the next one and only watched his guardian lock onto the collars immediately. His flame faded to a maroon and his face contorted into a look of genuine pain. The bartender’s thumb traced over the collar and Sans’ fingers twitched by his side ready to take the photo away if smoke started coming out. The flame's thumb slid off, his eyes trailing up to his children's face.

“…There should be an after photo somewhere.” Sans spoke up and Grillby squeezed his eyes shut. He made a mistake. The flame quickly stuffed the other photos behind the happier ones.

“These ones are nicer.” He said in a small voice, handing them back over to his child. Sans took them and nodded, stuffing them into his pocket. The flame was quiet for a moment, staring off into the distance as he tried to gather his thoughts and control his emotions. Sans watched with a worry brow afraid Grillby would somehow be influenced by the photos. The flame eventually shook his head, letting out a sad laugh.

“I was so worried about you seeing them and what your reaction was. I didn’t even think about how hard this would be for myself.” He admitted and Sans remained quite. “It gets a whole lot worse doesn’t it?” The skeleton gave his guardian a sympathetic expression.

“Yeah.”

Grillby let out a curse and deflated before he reached out and pulled his child into a hug. Sans returned it though with not nearly as much force.

“You're okay.” He whispered and Sans knew he was saying it more to reassure himself than the skeleton. “You both are okay.” He breathed out, slowly pulling away. “I love you, okay?” Grillby placed a kiss to the side of his child’s skull, rubbing his back before giving him one last squeeze.

“I love you too,” Sans replied, soaking in the affection. Grillby pulled away and stood up taking in a deep breath.

“Okay, you want to still do this?” He asked and Sans flashed him a wary smile.

“No, do you?” The skeleton countered

“No.” They both let out a small huff.

“But,” Sans started, taking a step forward and leading his guardian with him, “it’s all in the past.” Sans peered over his shoulder at his guardian offering him a reassuring look. “And it can’t hurt us anymore.” Sans looked back over to where Asgore and Tur one stood but saw no one. “Where did they go?”

“I told them to wait inside,” Grillby told his child who nodded. Grillby held the door open for his child and the two entered the hotel. Sans looked shocked, taking in the large water fountain with a weird winged baby creature on top. The flame just led his child to the dining area, letting his son look over the large building. A waiter took the two to the table the others were waiting at and set down a menu before leaving.

“I wish you would have told me he was a child, your highness.” Tur snapped and Asgore looked unamused. The two hadn't noticed the other's arrival, to engrossed in their own conversation.

“Does it matter?” Grillby voiced startling them.

“Grillby, Sans,” Asgore said looking genuinely relieved. “I'm glad you decided to stay. I'm sorry those photos were not supposed to be shown.” Sans grabbed his pocket protectively his eyes narrowing.

“Does it matter, Doctor Tur?” Grillby repeated ignoring Asgore and the lizard sighed.

“Asgore was rather private with names and descriptions. I had known about Sans but I wasn't aware it was him who was going to be here. I apologize for this, but yes it does matter.” Tur grumbled shooting an annoyed look at the boss monster.

“Why does it matter?” Grillby asked reaching down to rest a hand on his child's skull. “Sans is willing to offer some help. Does his age really matter in that?”

“Yes, sadly it does.” Tur sighed, rubbing at his scaled face. “Children are rather difficult to work with. This is even more so when they are traumatized. Adults or even teenagers tend to be more informative, rational, and willing to cooperate with testing and questions.” The skeleton's body went stiff at the word testing. “I just fear now my questions will be limited and many thoughts will still remain a mystery.”

“You said we are going to lunch.” Sans directed his statement to Asgore, pupils fading as his face contorted into a look of anger. “What testing is he talking about?”

“None, there will be no testing.” The king assured Sans, glaring harshly as the scientist. “We are just going to have some lunch and ask some questions. That is all that is going to happen.”

“All that ever will happen,” Tur sighed and Asgore gave him a menacing look.

“Tur.” The boss monster warned.

“I'm sorry Asgore, I am just a little frustrated. There is an entire lab filled with information and unknown materials I know nothing of. And now, I found out the only one who does know about it is some ten years old child.” The scaled monster exclaimed.

“Eleven,” Sans corrected.

“Oh, that is just so much better.” Tur rolled his eyes, resting his head in his hands. “You've already made me limit my questions but now I fear I'll get no answers at all. There is some big experimentation, broken machine, unknown substances littering the floor, and to top it all off, it is all coded in some unknown language. I need data, Asgore. I need information and samples to figure out what all of that is and what it could do to the Underground. I can't get that from a child.”

“Grillby I want to go home,” Sans announced, frightened by Tur's words. Tur sounded just like Gaster. Completely dedicated to his work with no regards for kindness or sympathy. Tur's job was to study, and to him, Sans was a giant test subject.

“Wait, Sans please don't,” Asgore begged, standing and the skeleton stepped back. “Tur is just frustrated by everything going on. He doesn't mean to insult you or frighten you. He just wants to make sure everything is safe.” Sans scowled at the monster

“And you expect me to believe you? You already lied to me and Grillby. Your words mean nothing,” Sans hissed, hands curling around the table. “You haven't changed at all.” Asgore looked hurt. “And he's the only one who was truthful.” Sans pointed to Tur who just sat in his chair. “And he wants me to be his test subject!”

“Sans no, please. This whole thing is just a misunderstanding. Let's all just calm down and try to get along.”

“Unlikely,” Sans grumbled and Tur rolled his eyes.

“This is exactly what I'm talking about, sir. He is a child. There is no way he could understand the complexity of what happened,” Tur said and Sans barked out a laugh.

“Coming from a monster who doesn't even know how to solve a heating and cooling problem. Doesn't take a royal scientist to figure that out.” Sans huffed, crossing his arms. “You both act exactly the same only at least Gaster was intelligent. You are just completely useless.” Tur looked annoyed and Sans smirked. “Oh I'm sorry, did my childish behavior upset you?”

“I think he's proving my point,” Tur said to Asgore who just frowned at his scientist.

“Tur, if anyone is acting like a child it is you.”

“It's alright Asgore, it's hard for people like him to see over their own ego's,” Sans said shoving his hands into his pocket. “Subjects aren't supposed to talk back. He's just cranky I'm not obeying his every word.” Sans glares harshly at the scientist who watched him closely.

“Why don't we just sit down?” Grillby said nudging his child but Sans avoided him.

“Gaster was the same. Let me ask you, Tur, do I bother you? Does it upset you that I am not as cooperative as a teenager or adult? Does my free will and self-thinking thoughts upset you? It upset him a lot. Would you rather have a shock collar around my neck to make sure I don't ever step out of line or would you just prefer beating me?” The flame rested a hand against his child's should and Sans allowed it. The skeleton watched Tur closely the two sharing an intense gaze.

“Do you act this way toward me because I somehow offended you or am I familiar to you?” Sans' hateful expression morphed into one of confusion by Tur's question. Tur had that look on, that posture. That look Gaster had when Sans had done something interesting. Hands folded in front of him, face one muscle away from being a smile or a frown. That look meant he was on the right path, but one so thin there was no room for error.

“What do you mean by familiar?” The child wondered.

“Have you seen me before?” The scientist asked rephrasing his question.

“No,” Sans answered skeptically and Tur nodded, pulling out a notebook and pen and writing it down. “Why would you think that?”

“I was curious as to who worked in these labs other than the previous royal scientist. Gaster was it? Whomever, the labs aren't as big as the Core but still large enough that to be cared for by one monster would be too much work. I wanted to ask if you recalled anyone else from your days in there however Asgore thought the question wasn't appropriate.” Sans just stared, not even moving as Grillby picked him up and sat him in the chair.

Tur wasn't threatening. At least not to Sans. Hardly anyone was a threat to him physically. His mind may trick him into believing some monster were but Tur was not one of them. Sans was apprehensive, yes. He'd even say he was a little nervous about the monster but not scared. Sans wondered if this was how everyone viewed Gaster. They acted similarly enough. Both horribly arrogant and self-absorbed, with little care for anything other than their work. It probably didn't help that Tur wasn't exactly a threatening monster, to begin with. Gaster had been one of the tallest monster's Sans had ever seen next to Asgore. He towered over him, his thin body casting the perfect shadow that swallowed him whole. He had no scales or feather, just pure white bone that magically curved with his emotions. Gaster was frightening. Tur was just some fat lizard. Some lizard who craved the same thing Gaster did, information. Neither cared about Sans or his wellbeing. Neither understood limitations. They'd push however far they could get away with, not caring how much permanent damage was done to get what they wanted. Sans needed to be aware of this, aware of himself. His own limitations and to not allow Tur to push past them. He'd ask questions, one that may confuse him or even trick him but he just needed to use his head and stay calm.

Just breathe. Stay calm.

“You seem to be alright with the question so may I ask for you to elaborate? Anyone you remember? Someone you saw when eating meals or when you were walking around. Anyone come in to look after you or tend to you in any way? Just, anyone in general?” Tur wondered.

Sans rested against the chair and slowly glanced over at Grillby with a bewildered expression. The flame looked back at his child with a calm one and the skeleton turned his attention back to Tur.

“Look after me?” Sans asked unsure of what he meant. No one looked after him. He was thrown into his room and retrieved when needed.

 “Yes, you know for regular hobbies. Bathing, eating meals, leisure actives, just anyone who monitored you during your time down there.” Bathing? Leisure actives? Was he serious?

“What exactly do you think my days down there were like?” Sans asked unable to detect if Tur was making a joke or not. Tur seemed taken back by the question and quickly looked at Asgore who just watched closely.

“Well, I assume from the documentation we collected that you were some experiment. A subject under complete supervision monitored and watched. I'd say your days were spend by around Gaster's side where he could keep track of you and watch over you. When you weren't someone else would watch over you make sure you were clean, fed, and possibly entertained I'm not sure.”

Sans bit back a smile. He was serious. This guy was an idiot.

“Uh huh, and what exactly was I created for?”

“Proof of artificial life.” Sans let out a laugh and quickly covered his mouth to prevent any more of echoing in the empty room. Tur straightened his back, lips pursed in annoyance knowing he was incorrect.

“Are you serious?” Sans asked shooting a look to his guardian who didn't seem nearly as amused by the information. “You saw all the information and think I'm some subject of artificial life?”

“Yes, but clearly I am incorrect. Asgore didn't let me see the two files that were no doubt about you and whoever the other subject was-”

“My brother.”

“Whomever.”

“But if you have this,” Sans pulled out the photos and showed off the ones of the collar and Tur winced, “then you must have the one that follows. You think that was some simple artificially created life testing?”

“I-er, thought that maybe they were testing the durability of-”

“Wow, the durability? Of what the collars? Our necks?” Sans put the photos away and leaned against the table. “I honestly want to laugh at how ignorant you are.” The skeleton admitted, a smile dancing across his features. “I mean, bathing? Meals? Leisure activities? What do you think I was a pet? You think I was some pampered specimen? I slept on the floor. My meals were a gray cube filled with just enough nutritional value to keep me alive and functioning. My leisure actives were using whatever strength I had left in me to break down the door to my locked room that opened once maybe twice a day. Those collars weren't resting the durability of anything. It was a test because my brother failed to kill a rat during his own training. We had to hit twenty live targets with a blue femur attack. If I didn't listen he got shocked and if he didn't listen, I got shocked. You saw the after photo doctor, you tell me how that test went.”

“Let me just get this out of the way right now and say I am not some artificially created life experiment. Gaster made me because Asgore,” Sans side eyed the monster who looked away, “wanted a weapon.” Tur's eyes widened and he turned to the man who still refused to look at anyone. “My everyday life consisted, mainly, of this schedule exactly. Door opens, I get up, follow behind Gaster with my head down and three steps back to operation room, I report to him, he then takes me to a testing room where I am trained and conditioned, we go back to the operation room, I report, he straps me down to a table and inject me with determination, I scream and fall unconscious, wake up and report, he unstraps me and I go back to my room, later a block of food will be given to my brother and I, and then we wait in that room until he comes back tomorrow. Somedays, we only did testing all day long, others I worked until I passed out. On fun days it was just a determination injection and if he was feeling extra nice, I'd get two more for free just because I managed to stay conscious for the first one. That is what my day was like. I wasn't his pet he monitored but his experiment he tortured. All because Asgore wanted a weapon and way to break the barrier. Sorry, that didn't work out for you, King. Maybe next time.” Sans grabbed his glass of water and downed half of it while the others stared at the table in silence. Tur eventually glanced over at Asgore watching him with wary eyes.

“Sir, determination, you know what that does to monsters. How harmful and painful it can be, why did you allow-”

“Because what's the life of a couple unknown subjects if it can save all of monster kind and get his family back,” Sans answered for the King, trailing his finger along the rim of his glass. “Sorry about that too Asgore, bet knowing Pap and I could have been your wife and kid just makes you wish things actually did work out for Gaster.” Sans knew his words were cold and hurtful, even Grillby tossed him a look. Sans still wanted to hurt Asgore, almost testing him to see how far he could push him to get some sort of reaction. To get him to shout how he wished Sans had died or that Gaster was still alive to fill out the work he wanted. Sans wouldn't care, though. His days or mourning and sorrow were gone. He had no reason to like Asgore or even be nice to him. He was angry and bitter and on most occasions, he'd control that anger, but not today. He got his file either way.

“Wait, sir, what did-”

“Let's order.” Asgore raised his hand and a waiter was summoned instantly. It almost angered Sans by how guilty Asgore always was. How sincere and honestly apologetic like everything he did he really wouldn't do again. Sans couldn't believe it, but Asgore's continued honestly made it hard not to.

Everyone ordered, Grillby ordering for his child who didn't care to look at the menu. They waited until the waiter left to resume talking.

“I'm still curious if you recall any other faces while you were down there.” Sans looked up at the monster with a bored expression.

“Does it matter? What are you going to do, charge them for working for a man they don't even know? I can't tell you who was there. I didn't ever look at them. I wasn't allowed to. All I can tell you is that they were all males, at least the three I remember hearing.”

“That room with the broken machine,” Tur began and Sans narrowed his eyes.

“We aren't talking about that.”

“It's not about the machine, it's about the room. There were traces of dust left in there, did they belong to monsters?” Sans stared off trying to recall.

“Probably, they were behind a wall I couldn't see them. No one was in the room when I woke up so they must have died. When we left there was no one outside either.” Tur just nodded.

“Sans, during your time in the labs, did Gaster ever talk to you about anything,” Asgore asked and Sans snorted.

“Yeah, all the time. He'd pick me up and we'd head out to lunch and talk about science and the economy,” he said voice dripping with sarcasm.

“What about the Core? Didn't you say he mentioned it around you two a few times?” Grillby asked and Sans' demeanor visibly relaxed seeming more friendly and way less hostile. Asgore and Tur glanced at each other at the visible change.

“Yeah but it wasn't even a discussion. When we were younger and he needed to watch us he'd usually work on other things. We were divided too. We'd be in the testing room and he'd observe us behind a glass wall that leads into the operation room. Later we'd know he was working on something else when he wouldn't come to our room. Once someone came in and told him one of the connecting tubes to the lava broke. I was kinda in and out of consciousness so I didn't catch all of it.”

“Any times before Pap?” Grillby pressed and Sans clicked his teeth together finger tapping against the table.

“Yeah. Yeah! A lot. Um, well, not a lot. It was kinda off and on? He taught me a little I guess and in between testing he'd be focusing on his notes and blueprints. There were times when a steam pipe broke and made the third floor impossible to work on and another time where the power shut off for a week. That wasn't fun.” Sans muttered the last part pushing away the memories of him curled in a corner eyes desperately flickering to provide some sort of light to the pitch black room. “You asked a lot about the blueprints and notes,” the skeleton looked over at the scientist, “which would all be in his house. Everything about the Core he kept up there I think. The only information I ever saw in the labs were about us.” Tur looked disappointed but nodded.

“What about the language it is written in? Is it some sort of code he created?”

“I guess?” Sans shrugged. “I don't know where it came from. All I know is that it's what he spoke around me and what he spoke to himself in most of the time. WingDings is what it's called.”

“He spoke it? So it's a verbal language as well?” Tur pressed and Sans nodded.

“ **Yes.** ”

“You know it.” Tur folded his hands and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“It's my first language.”

“What about the other one, your brother?”

“Papyrus knows it, but I taught him both of them.”

“You taught him? Why not Gaster?”

“Gaster didn't like Papyrus. Papyrus was only made because Asgore wanted to give me a friend who was less like obedient and like me.” The skeleton glanced at the king offering him the least hostile look that entire afternoon.

“Ah, the language, though, would you be able to teach it? Is it complex?”

“Grillby learned it in a month or two.” Sans nodded to his guardian. “It's just characters. It follows the same rules and grammar as any other, it's just a coded version.”

“Oh, alright then. So would you be able to teach it to me so-”

“No,” Sans answered cutting the doctor off.

“But how am I suppose to look over what Gaster left if I can't read it?”

“It's not yours to look over,” Sans grumbled, pupils shrinking as he glared.

“Sans,” Grillby said tugging on his child's shirt to get him to sit up. “A cheat sheet won't be the end of the world.”

“It's not their stuff to look over it's mine! I don't want them reading my stuff.”

“They won't be, remember? You are getting your file whatever they'll read isn't about you two or at least not the private parts.” Sans scowled, pouting for a moment before he held out his hand. Tur seemed confused at first but when he glanced down at his notebook he perked up and flipped to a new page before handing it over. Sans snatched it up and quickly wrote down a translation. Looking it over he slid it across the table almost knocking it off if Tur hasn't reacted fast enough to catch it. “Thank you,” Grillby said to his child, rubbing his back.

“Make sure he doesn't touch my folder,” Sans commented before the food was brought out.

While everyone ate the asked questions and took notes. Sans answered to the best of his ability and with as much sarcasm and snarky comments as possible. Tur's questions seemed to get smaller and smaller when Sans kept answering with he didn't know until Sans just assumed Tur finally grasped onto the fact that Sans was kept in a room and literally knew nothing. He had no idea where anything was, how anything worked, or why something was the way it was. Just because he knew Gaster didn't mean they were best friends but Tur couldn't grasp that.

“The ventilation system in the lab-”

“Oh, my stars!” Sans groaned stabbing his fork into his mash potatoes. “I don't know about any stupid systems! Whatever information you need is in his place upstairs. If not, it's gone. I don't know what to tell you. Ask me another stupid question about his Core and I'm going to put this fork in your eye!”

Asgore focused more on the labs themselves, asking about what Gaster did with the souls and what certain rooms were for and what some documents they found were about. Sans had an easier time answering but his answers weren't ever good ones. He usually went into detail on what Gaster did in reference to himself and multiple times Asgore and Grillby had both stopped him and told him he didn't need to continue. Grillby usually stopped him first, his hand squeezing almost too tightly to his son's face stuck in a constant look of pain. Sans felt bad but he wasn't sure what he could do. He was answering their questions and wasn't sure when too much was too much. He felt fine, walking about these things wasn't hard for him. But judging by how everyone else reacted, it was hard for them to hear.

Asgore looked absolutely miserable and not in a way that made Sans feel good either. It was the kind of pain he found difficult to look at for it made him seem so kind and how everyone viewed him as. Tur was the most neutral but even he broke his composure. He'd glance down at his badge in disgust or look over at the king like he betrayed him somehow. Grillby remained predictable, which Sans found comforting. He used to him and could read his expression far better than anyone else's. But after a while, whether it was because Sans grew more self-aware of his answers or the others couldn't bear to ask another question, the conversation trailed off. A waiter came by to refill drinks as ask for dessert, but Sans was the only one who ordered after Grillby said he could get something he wanted. The table remained silent until Sans' brownie was delivered and even then, it took three bites in for someone to finally speak.

“Where there other?” Tur asked flipping through his notebook to find the translation sheet. “There was one folder I saw with this symbol on it, R?” Tur pointed to the letter R and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“ **T and R.** ” He muttered. “T and R were the one's Series Two. Papyrus failed and even if Gaster didn't think I'd die if he couldn't find me a partner I'd be scrapped. R was supposed to be attempted but Gaster already calculated that T would be a better partner.”

“So, you and your brother were Series One?” Sans shrugged and nodded. “Was there any alpha or beta stages, any pre-warm up creatures?”

“Unless you found something, no. I've never seen one and Gaster never talked about it. Gaster didn't talk about his failures. So if there were any, they are dead.” He said simply, taking a bite of his brownie.

“If you were a success why wouldn't he just stick to S?” Tur questioned and Sans fiddled with the end of the tablecloth as he chewed and swallowed.

“Probably because S was a bad group. Each group had a strong pair, my was P. Once the group is made the whole creation thing can start. You need to build them to be compatible. What magic works with what, what strength will match the other's weaknesses. That group bond is needed for fighting, according to Gaster.”

“What do you mean by pairs?” Asgore wondered and Sans cleaned off his fork and sat up in his chair.

“A group of two, two monster that worked side by side and didn't require anyone else with them. They'd understand each other and work off of a very strong soul connection. They'd pretty much be twin dolls ready to take an order and fulfill it. Technically speaking,” Sans lifted his fork in one hand and his spoon in the other, “if me and Pap were to go to battle or something, we'd be able to...feel each other. We were supposed to sense the 'needed' things. Like if Pap was in trouble,” Sans set the spoon down and grabbed the knife to stab at the hole between the fork's end. “I was supposed to be able to sense his soul's call that he'd give out and save him,” Sans used the spoon to knock the knife away. “It was all supposed to be simple and basic. I know when he's in trouble, he know's when I'm in trouble. I message him to tell him where to go, he tells me where to go. We would communicate like that and not need someone else to tell us where to go or who to attack, we'd just need our one objective from whoever was in charge.”

“And, did that not work? Do you and your brother have that compatibility?” Tur asked and Sans set down his spoon.

“No, because P's don't have that. M-P are too sensitive. They don't obey, they think. They are lead by their souls instead of their orders. I am natur-S is naturally order driven. We aren't the same, there for we don't have that bond. We have a different one one Gaster thought was 'corrupted'. We also were bonded, meaning Gaster introduced us to each other and we clung onto one another. It grew too much since Papyrus craved affection and I reacted to that and we formed a tight family-like bond. Of course not, the whole bond thing is gone and irrelevant. We were still made for each other but it's nothing more than a calming feeling I get and nothing more. We can't read each other's minds or souls or anything like that. But because that bond was kind of broken if I were to be with R, we wouldn't have worked out. Gaster believed the souls needed to be conditioned and my was already, well, broken. S and R aren't natural pairs either, we could fight but not together. I doubt T and R would be so perfect at first, though. It would probably take two more series to get the soul match up the way he wanted. He didn't even get to attempt any soul experiments other than the bond.” Sans muttered the last part to himself, stabbing a fork into his brownie.

“Your brother's file was significantly smaller than yours. Is that because of you?” Asgore voiced changing the topic.

“Kinda. I didn't let Gaster touch him if I could help it. That plus the fact that Papyrus wasn't strong enough to handle more intense testing, he was pretty useless to study. Gaster only kept him around for leverage. I do what he wanted, Papyrus was safe. That's how it worked.” Sans said as he shoved a forkful of brownie into his mouth.

“You said you wouldn't answer any questions about the machine or the substances found inside,” Tur began and Sans slowed his chewing down. “May I ask why?”

“Because I don't want to,” Sans replied with a mouthful of brownie.

“Yes, but are you just uncomfortable with it or-”

“He doesn't need to justify himself. His no was an answer.” Grillby voiced and the doctor sighed.

“He has been more than cooperative Tur,” Asgore commented.

“Yes, your highness, but I'd still like to know if it's dangerous. I don't want to try to rebuild it if it is. Tur huffed in annoyance. Sans' pupils vanished, sockets as wide of dinner plates as his fork clattered loudly against his plate. Asgore spun around, mouth pressed into a firm line. Grillby gripped onto Sans' tightly.

“You want to do what?” The skeleton breathed and Tur straightened his back trying to not let his hesitation show.

“I can't study a broken machine. I need it operational to see if it's dangerous.”

“NO!” Sans shouted, startling the crew. “You can't do that!”

“I know I can't. I don't know how or how dangerous it is. But I don't know how dangerous that substance is either.”

“Asgore you said no one was using the labs,” Grillby said.

“No one is! Tur doesn't even go in them he is just-”

“Trying to rebuild the machine?” Sans cried struggling against his guardian's hold. There was no way he'd allow that to happen. He had to stop it. His pupils darted down to the notebook and he tensed, prying the bartender's hand off of him. “Give me your notes,” Sans demanded extending his hand out but Tur held onto his notebook. Sans snarled eyes flickering. “Give it to me.”

“I can't.”

“It's not a choice.” Sans voiced, lunging across the table. Tur backed away but not fast enough to avoid Sans getting close enough to summon his soul. Tur froze but before Sans could do anything Grillby wrapped his arm around his middle and pulled him back

“Sans, don't. Calm down.” The flame said and the skeleton glared, a low growl rumbling deep within him as Tur grabbed his soul and put it away.

Calm. Calm. Don't attack. Deep breaths. Use words. Sans didn't believe they'd work, but his rational side was trying desperately to reason with his rising panic and anger. If Tur wanted to rebuild the machine, he sure as hell wasn't going to use any information Sans gave him to do it. He'd get that notebook if he had to pluck it from a pile of dust. But with his guardian by him, a reminder to stay calm preventing him from doing anything too rash.

“Give me the translation sheet.” Sans snarled but Tur remained still. Sans fingers dug into Grillby's arm as he started to struggle. “Give it to me **now**.”

“Give it to him.” Grillby ordered and the lizard still didn't move. “Asgore, make him give Sans the paper.”

“Can you calm him down? We really need it in order to read the documents.” Tur insisted, clutching the notebook tightly to his chest.

“So you can finish what he started?!” Sans shrieked, freeing and arm and launching a bone at Tur who ducked out of the way. Sans raised his had to summon a blaster but Grillby grabbed it and the skeleton growled, fighting the flame.

“Asgore, now!” Grillby shouted knowing Sans' patients had run out.

“Tur give it to him,” Asgore ordered and the scientist stared at him in shock.

“But sir he can't-”

“Now.” Tur bit his lip but flipped open the notebook and ripped out the sheet. He didn't even have a chance to hand it over before Sans encased it in magic and bright it over the small candle burning on the table. It caught fire and everyone watched burn until it was a pile of ash floating in the melting wax. Sans struggled in his guardian's hold until he was set back down in his chair.

Sans didn't feel safe. The threat of the machine's rebuilding setting him on edge. What reason did he have to rebuild it? For safety, purposes seemed so false. It was broken, the liquid dried, it could hard no one and would not do anything. Sure, Sans didn't know that for sure. But with how he last saw the machine left, he was certain nothing was coming back out of that machine anytime soon. So why did Tur want to rebuild it?

“What are you planning?” Sans asked once his guardian released him. “You have no reason to rebuilt the machine. It's broken, it's never coming back. Nothing in there will harm you or anyone else so why are you trying to rebuild it?” Why? It just didn't make sense.

“I was unaware of what it is or what it could do. You refused to answer and we know nothing of it. What else was I suppose to do?”

“Leave it alone.” Sans snapped slamming his hands down on the table causing the lizard to flinch. “You won't will you?” The skeleton questioned already knowing the answer. “Why? Did you ask him to?” The skeleton asked the king. “I told you it was broken. It won't hurt anyone!”

“Are you certain of that?” The scientist challenged. “Do you even know what it was for? What it did?”

“Oh, you have the nerve to ask that to me?” Sans said, almost wanting to laugh. “You have no idea, but you'd like to right? You're doing that thing where you try to trick me into giving you what you want. You're trying to rile me up and get me all mad so I spew all I know about it so you can write it down in your little notebook to take away.” Sans stared at the notebook and his almost smile vanished. “Is this what this whole thing was about? Is that why you are asking these questions?” He asked and quickly pushed away against the table his chair sliding away from them. “You've been using me for answers.”

“Sans we have not. Please Sans, we really weren't doing anything.” Asgore said firmly but the skeleton refused to believe him. It's the only thing that made sense. Right? It was a trap. They lure him in with false words and questions and promises of his file. When they really wanted information they knew Sans would give. But on just the machine? What good would that do for them? The machine was useless without someone strong enough to-

The pupils in his sockets went out as his mind went silent. His head slowly raised until he was gazing at Tur with empty sockets.

“ **T and R,** ” Sans whispered and the lizard glanced at the others nervously. “You're building them aren't you?”

“Building who?” Asgore asked but was ignored.

“Sans what do you mean. Who is he building?” Grillby asked instead, cautiously approaching his unstable child.

“T and R. They used me. They set it up. This whole thing is a sham. They don't care about the Core. They care about the project! That's why you're asking all these questions. That's why he wants to get the machine running! You're doing it again! You think that'll work?!” Sans shouted and Asgore raised his hands in a sign of peace.

“Sans I am not do anything of the sort. What I told you was the truth. No one is trying to recreate anything, I promise you.”

“Your promises mean nothing.” Sans felt his eye begin to glow, his magic dangerously close to unstable. He needed to calm down. But how could he? The whole time Asgore had been trying to recreate the machine, make more experiments. What if he already had? Asgore was using Sans. The whole time he was just using him to get what he wants.

“Asgore,” Grillby spoke in a firm tone getting the king's attention. His flamed body flickered as shades of red and purple passed through him.

“I just wanted to make sure it's safe. Once operation I can check and-” Sans tuned out the very thought of the machine opening once more terrifying him. What would happen if it turned back on? Would Gaster still be in there? Would he come out? Of course, he would. He had to. He was in there waiting, waiting for the moment someone turned it back on. For someone to fix his work so he could come back to finish his own. No, Sans would not allow that.

“Stop lying! You want to shove them in! You are trying to break the barrier that's your job! And now that you have something to work with you're going to use it. Do you even know how much energy it takes to survive the journey? What if Gaster comes out!? The only thing you need to do is destroy it!”

“Destroying it is out of the question. You just don't understand-”

“YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!” Sans screamed, pushing against his chair and standing on it. Grillby reached out to take his child but Sans blinked onto the table and away from him.

“Sans please, calm down,” Asgore begged and Sans faced him with hollow sockets.

“This whole thing was your idea from the start,” Sans growled, fists clenching by his side. “Everything you did was just a lie to get me to cooperate. You think you can use me like he did? You think you have that power?” His magic spurted out and Tur stood up and stepped in front of Asgore ready to protect his king.

“You are afraid, Sans. I understand that. But you can't possibly know what that machine is capable of.”

“And you do?! Did you fall in it?! Did you see the void?! Did it get inside of you?! NO! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! You think I'm some child incapable of grasping onto the complexity of what happened to me? You think I'm some child who allowed the trauma of what happened to consume me and rule me?! Even if I am, do you have any right to hold that against me?” San eyes glared up, arms raised and blaster forming. “Do you have any idea how painful a single drop of determination can be?” The blaster's mouth fell. “Do you have any idea what an overdose can do to you?” A faint light began to form in its mouth. “Do you have any idea what the void even looks like?” The light grew, specks of cyan magic swirling around in the blaster's mouth. “Do you know how terrifying it is having that thick, inky darkness enter your every orifice and change you?” The blaster was fully charged, waiting to be fired. “Do you have any knowledge of the demon that fell in and that horror he caused to me and my brother? Do you know how much pain I had to endure to survive the two minutes I was trapped in that machine? And you tell me you want to recreate it and risk that monster escaping and that evil be cast onto this world? After I know you will put someone through the same pain I endured?!”

Did Tur think he was some god? Did these two really believe Sans would allow them to recreate his personal hell? Did they believe they were Gaster or even capable of being half the man he once was? Did Tur really want to go down that road? Did he really want to become that monster Sans killed? Fine. But Sans would be the same creation that killed him.

Sans took aim but felt a hand rest on his shoulder. Spotting the orange glow reflecting off the surfaced around him, the skeleton knew it was Grillby.

“Sir please control your child,” Tur told Grillby who shot him a foul look. “Call of whatever that attack is or I will be forced to disengage it myself.”

“Think you can?” Sans laughed darkly his hands encased in a cyan light. The blaster let out a dull roar as the magic practically steamed out of it. “You wanna act like Gaster, Tur? You wanna live up to his name?”

“Tur do not engage him,” Asgore ordered the scientist.

“Sir it is my duty to protect you that is what you agreed to by not allowing guards to come with you. If he attacks I will defend you.” Tur stated feeling his magic begin to stir as Sans' body lowered as if ready to pounce. “Sans stop,” Tur demanded and the skeleton's glowing eye went out. He stared at Tur for a full minute before his eyes erupted in a bright flame.

“I don't take orders from you, Tur. But let's see if you're capable of standing a chance against one of your subjects, huh? **Trail begin.** ” Sans grinned and fired his blaster. Tur' claws sparked with green electric magic but two large walls of flame came up and stopped the blast from hitting the two monsters. The blaster vanished and Asgore and Grillby cast aside the wall they had made. Sans lunged forward but Grillby grabbed him and held him back. Tur stood in front of the king, magic taunting the skeleton.

“Cast aside your magic,” Grillby told the scientist.

“I will not until he calms down.” Sans raised his hand to launch a bone but Grillby set him down and stared at him, pointing his finger at his child.

“No,” he said and Sans let out a low growl. “You do not fight to solve your problems.” The skeleton's teeth ground painfully against one another. He wanted to fight him. "Take in a deep breath." Grillby said and Sans just growled. "In," Grillby demonstrated and Sans glared. Grillby almost cringed as he heard the child's teeth grind together but the skeleton took in a deep breath. He wouldn't be able to hurt Tur, not with Grillby here. As much as Sans wanted to toss him around like a ragdoll, his blinded rage was fading with his deep breaths. 

 “And you,” Grillby turned back around to face the scientist, “are threatening him. Put your magic away and he will too.”

 Sans's pupils returned, almost non-existent. Tur was still and watched Sans carefully, the skeleton just as motionless.

"I advice you get him some counciling." Tur voiced as he began began to ease up but the skeleton lunged forward at the comment pushing his guardian back as he tried to launch his bone. Tur's magic sparked and shot out both attacks aimed at one another but Grillby and Asgore intervened once more. Grillby grabbed his child's hood and yanked him back steering his arm upward to avoid the attack. Asgore grabbed Tur's wrist and twisted his arm back his attack shooting the wall before his magic faded completely under the king's hold. Sans kicked out against his guardian his foot nailing him in the side and weakening his hold so he could break free. Sans fell to the ground and pushed against it darting over to Tur. Sans formed a blue bone in his hand, eye blazing as Tur stood tall breaking a hand free still sparking with magic. Sans teleported behind him and grinned at the advantage. He swung his hand back ready to bash the monster but Tur reached out and barely grazed his claw against Sans' ribs. Sans felt an electric shock travel down his entire body before he went numb. His attack vanished and his body fell to the ground unable to move. His soul appeared before him bright green. Sans struggled against the magic. Throwing quite the tantrum but his body still refused to obey him.

“What did you do?” Grillby shouted, rushing forward to his child. He grabbed his soul protectively, scanning it for any damage.

“He's temporarily paralyzed. It should wear off in a few minutes.”

“Then I'll shove a bone through your fat head!” Sans barked. His eye still glowing as he willed whatever strength he had to summon an attack but failed due to the instability of his magic.

“Tur I told you to not attack.” Asgore scolded almost as furious as Sans.

“He attacked first, your highness. I had no choice. I stabilized him and didn't harm him in anyways.”

“You've gone and made him upset! There was a peacefully way to resolve this issue.”

“Sir, I would normally agree with you but if he was truly made to be some weapon I highly doubt he has any sense of reasoning. His natural instinct is to fight, it's who he was made to be.”

“I'll show you exactly what I was made to be.” Sans snarled, fingers digging into the floor. “You can get a first-hand look at what you wanted.” Sans glared at Asgore, finger twitching as the magic began to fade.

“You are out of line, Tur.” Asgore barked furiously.

“Sans,” Grillby said to his son who's fingers dug into the ground as he huffed. “Sans, please look at me.”

“I can't!” Sans snapped unable to move his head.

“Well then listen,” Grillby rested his hand on his child's shoulder and Sans growled. “You need to calm down.”

“How?! After what he said?! What he did!?”

“Sans, let me handle this. You can't fight them both.”

“Yes, I can!" Sans challenged, trying to summon his magic but it fizzed out, the electric current disabling him.

“No, I won't let you do that. You need to let me handle this. I will get to the bottom of this.”

"How?!" Sans cried, unable to direct his rage at his guardian. "He's rebuilding it Grillby! They're doing it again I know they are. Are you going to let them do that?"

"Sans listen to me," Grillby said in a gentle tone. He raised his son's head for him getting him to lock eyes. "Let me handle this."

“How?”

“Sans, I am going to the labs. I will be there and look to see if anything is going on. If they are doing something I'll see it. They can't hide it, not from me. I won't let a single stone go unturned, alright?” Sans inched his neck up regaining some control. “You are afraid, and have reason to be, but let me handle this Sans. Trust me. Don't fight him.”

“I hate him.” Sans murmured, rage all but gone. “He thinks I'm some subject, some toy.”

“Sans, I'm going to be honest, you haven't exactly been the most helpful with that image with this whole attacking thing.” The bartender waved and the skeleton huffed.

“He's been nothing but snarky, stupid, and a copy cat all day long! He treats me like I'm some stupid child but when I treat him like some stupid adult I get in trouble!”

“Sans you aren't in trouble first of all. And if you were, it wouldn't be because you were being a smartass it would be because you tried to kill him.”

“If I wanted to kill him I would have.” The skeleton mumbled.

“Oh so blasting him wasn't trying to kill him?” 

“Grillby, if I wanted him dead I would have gone for his soul,” Sans muttered rolling his eyes. “I was toying with him. Find your enemies moves, learn them, avoid them, find the weakness, strike.”

“So you were eventually going to kill him.” Grillby commented and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“I...it was an end goal, yes.”

“Sans,” Grillby groaned.

“What do you want from me?! I react! He was snarky to me the moment we met so I reacted just the same. He asked dumb questions, so I gave sarcastic answers. I may have started the fight and lost my temper a little but that's hardly my fault. It's as he said,” Sans rested his head on the ground body still frozen, “It's who I was made to be.”

“Hey,” Grillby raised his son's skull to look at him. “That is not who you are.”

“He doesn't see it that way,” Sans said looking over at Tur who was being scolded by Asgore. “I'm just some big experiment to him.”

“Then prove to him that you aren't. You already did to me. You reacted Sans, just like you said. He said it himself Sans, you are just a child. Child react, monkey sees monkey do. As far as I see it, you reacted then had a temper tantrum. He has no reason to judge you because of that. Besides, we both know you'd kick his butt if you wanted to right?” Sans felt a small smile tug on the corners of his mouth.

“Can I?”

“No, you can't. But do you trust me to handle this situation?”

“….Yes.” Sans agreed letting out a defeated sigh.

“Then let me handle it,” Grillby said with a gentle smile. He moved to turn away but Sans stopped him.

"Grillby wait!” He called out and the flame glanced down at him. “Can I show him I went easy on him?” The flame cocked his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“Just trust me, can I?"

“Sans...”

“Don't worry about it.”

“Will anyone get hurt?”

“No, but he might pee his pants.” Grillby stared but gave in, nodding and he rose to his feet.

"Just don't do anything illegal," the flame pleaded and Sans smiled.

“Has he calmed down?” Tur asked and Grillby narrowed his eyes.

“If you had acted as an adult instead of picking a fight with a child none of this would have happened.”

“Sir, if anything was proved today it is that your son is far from being a normal child if a child at all. No monster has that much power, let alone one as young as he. He shouldn't be treated as a child, but as a threat which is what he is. Regardless of his age, he was trained to be a weapon and has proven so by attacking.”

“Who the hell are you to treat and speak to my son like he's some experimental toy?” Grillby said as his body burned a dark red. “You think just because you've seen some photos and instigated him to a fight that he's some dangerous weapon? You have no idea what he has been through and have no right to judge him either. He is not a weapon. He is not some subject. He is a child.” Sans stared up at his guardian, his limbs slowly regaining feeling. “You criticized him all day for being incapable of handling or understanding the situation. You even have the nerve to call him a child when you have been acting the same way. Sans knows better than to kill and fight monsters. What he does is scare them and treats them exactly like they treated him. You have been nothing but rude, snarky, and unpleasant this entire day so he reacted to just that. He's not some trained beast, he's aware of his actions and knows how to control himself.” Sans soul faded in color and went back behind his ribs. He lowered his head magic coming back and his eye glowing. “He was imitating, Doctor. I can assure you of that.” Grillby glanced behind Tur and straightened his back. “Because if he truly wanted you dead...” 

Tur felt an object be pressed against his back. He glanced over his shoulder and found Sans standing behind him, bone in hand ready to stab the doctor. Tur looked up as he saw a blaster form behind Sans followed by another, and another until they cirlced the two. Tur looked frightened, pupils small as he gawked at the skeleton.

 “You would be,” the flame finished and Sans cast the attacks away in an instant and blinked over to his guardian's side. Grillby rested a hand on his head, stroking it gently to get his child's attention. Tur was tense, body trembling. Asgore too appeared intimidated, pushed several steps back when Sans had snuck up behind the scaled monster. 

“Can I ask you a question, Tur?” Sans voiced not waiting for a response. “Did you think you'd win?” Tur remained silent for a moment before he responded.

“No.”

Sans actually smiled.

“Good. Gaster did, and look where he ended up.” Sans shoved his hands into his pockets and his smile faltered. “Tur, I hate you. I hate your views, your ideas, you. Maybe for the wrong reasons, maybe not. I truthfully, don't care. I just want you to know that I'm not a subject anymore. I was trained to kill. I was raised to fight and to react. I was built to hurt others and to listen to orders. But just because I was made to be a weapon doesn't mean I have to be one. I'm not. I don't want to be. I may be good at hurting others, but it's not what I want to do with my life. Please learn the difference between this,” Sans flashed him the photos, “and me. I don't want everything to think that just because I get upset that I'm regressing and going back into what he wanted me to be. It's insulting. I'll never be like that ever again. And if you think that me being upset a few minutes ago was who I was made to be, then buddy, maybe it's best if you don't read those notes because clearly, you're blind to how cruel someone can be. And that's good for you. You shouldn't have to know what it's like to be an object. You shouldn't have to know what's it's like to have your only thought be survival. You shouldn't have to obey the word of some monster just to make sure your brother isn't killed because of you. You shouldn't have to imagine what's it's like to not have free will, free thoughts, the ability to be independent, speak up. No one should, but some of us do. But until you do, until you're stuck in those labs for nine years living each day knowing only to obey or be punished, I don't want you to ever think that you know who I am and who I was made to be. I can show you who I am now, I can even show you what I was made to be, but I am not who I was. The fact that you have a hard time seeing that just proves you are just as bad as Gaster. And people say I'm insane when you try to be the guy who torments and abuses children in the name of science.”

“I do not wish to be that,” Tur said boldy and Sans just let out a dull laugh.

“I don't believe that. How does it feel knowing I don't and will never believe that? That no matter what you do or say you will never be anything more than some Gaster wannabe to me? No matter how nice. No matter what you do or change. Sucks don't it? To be seen as something you aren't. To have and know everyone looks at you and sees you as an abomination. I am Sans the skeleton, Tur. My name is Sans. I am not a subject. I am not an experiment. I am not 01S. I am not a font series experiment. I am not WingDing 01S. I am no one else, but Sans. Do not ever forget that.

“Let's hope you aren't doing anything in those labs too, doctor. Because if you are, you'll not only be like Gaster to me, but you'll die like him too.” Sans turned away from them and looked back up at his guardian. Sans couldn't force a smile, truthfully rather exhausted. Grillby understood, however, and rested a hand against his skull before giving him a quick hug.

“Make sure they aren't doing anything,” Sans said to him.

“Stay by Gerson's phone and I'll let you know the moment I'm out, alright?” Grillby replied and Sans nodded. “Want me to walk you to the boat?”

“No, I got it,” Sans said his eye flashing cyan for a moment.

“Okay, go on then. I'll be back to pick you up or you can walk home with your brother if you two get tired. Make sure he doesn't burn the house down.” Grillby instructed and Sans let out a tired chuckle.

“I'll try.”

“Get going you bonehead, make sure Pap stays out of trouble.”

“Him and Undyne are probably already in a skele-ton of it.” Sans joked and Grillby sighed. Sans just giggled and stepped back, his eyes flaring up. Before his foot touched the ground he was gone and Grillby lingered for a minute before rising and facing the two monster behind him. They started back and Grillby gestured to the exit.

 “Shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update is already halfway done :)! Also, do note the chapters (fingers crossed) five chapters left. 
> 
> Side note, I imagine the MTT Resort once being just an old fancy place and then a sassy robot came along and was like "Haha, no. Make everything ME SHAPED!" 
> 
> But do you guys see it? You see what happened here? You see the progression? You see the self-control (kinda)? Progress man. It's being made. If Sans' actions/thinking aren't explained or just kinda fade and change that's because (in my personal experience with medication) sometimes it just affects you. This medication is influencing and changing Sans mood making him more stable. He's done so well and made so much progress with controlling himself that sometimes, he doesn't need to convince himself or talk himself out of it he just does. It's progression folks, and he's getting it.
> 
> Thank you so so so much for your comments and support!
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	46. Embrace

Grillby had been sitting on his bed, hunched over for the past hour. On his nightstand next to his alarm sat two folders, one blue and one orange. Every time he glanced at them he felt ill. Every second they spend lingering in his touch he felt vile like some invisible filth was clawing up his body. His thoughts couldn't hold onto the world around him for more than a few minutes at a time. He always came to knowing his children would be home soon or that Gerson would be calling him telling him to pick up his children. Then, the moment his children came to mind his eyes would sink down to the folder and he'd fall back into a deep thought.

There wasn't a thing in the world that could have prepared him for what he saw. There just wasn't. The labs alone were enough to cause the flame's soul enough pain for his form to actually waver and lose shape. It was one thing to hear the stories Sans said, to listen to the horrible things that happened to him, but to be in the place that it all happened haunted him in... It had been so small. The hallways had ten door max, most empty rooms. When Grillby had been shown the testing and operation rooms the flame was grateful Asgore and Tur had looked away and given Grillby the privacy he needed but lacked the voice to ask for.

His sons' stories rang in his head as he stared at the large table in the middle of the room. The straps used to hold him down were worn and that caused his wrists to ache in some odd phantom pain. He could very clearly see either child held down, yanking and pulling against the restraints as they cried out for help or from pain. The photos Grillby had seen flashed in his mind as he stared through the glass wall of the testing room. It was the largest of the rooms here and many panels and parts had obviously been replaced. There were still damage marks as well, scorch marking and dents. The bartender recalled the damage in the past and traced along the markings picturing his son firing away as ordered. Although these two rooms were where Sans suffered the most, Grillby had the hardest time in the skeleton's room.

It was small. So, so, so, small. It was more like an oversized closet. It was riddled with markings some looked intentional while other looked like someone had just lost it and attacked the walls. There was a single corner that remained untouched and clear and Grillby sat next to it for twenty minutes just staring.

That place held his children for so long. That room was the room they were kept in. That table was the table they were strapped to. That large, empty room was the large, empty room they were forced to train in. That was the place that kept them hidden. It prevented them from having the life they deserved. It hurt them and broke them in so many ways. A place, had Sans hesitated for even a second, they would have died in.

Grillby shook his head, entire body trembling. He took in a few deep breaths, hands going up to run through his flamed head but it stopped as he glanced at the folders.

Those damn folders.

Asgore had pulled Grillby away from the labs and asked countless times if he truly wanted to go through with the folders. The flame only responded by closing the elevator doors and heading up to Asgore's level. Tur had stayed behind when they left the labs, leaving Grillby and Asgore alone in the king's house. It took several minutes and two cups of tea before Asgore retrieved the information.

“Our agreement,” Asgore said sliding the folders across the table. Grillby was tense as he swallowed, eyeing them. Cautiously, he reached out and grabbed onto them. The difference between them was almost disturbing. The orange folder Grillby assumed to be Papyrus' was thin. He wondered if there were even more than thirty pages inside. Compared to Sans, which was worn and thick. The first page of them both was identical. On the left was a sheet that held all their basic information and two photos. Papyrus' photos had both been depressing, the skeleton staring blankly into the camera, his hospital gown far too large for him. The age difference was different in the second but the expressing remained the same. Sans', however, was different. The first photo to greet the flame was his son smiling much younger than he was now. Grillby almost did a double take not quite sure he was seeing it correctly, but he had. His son smiled brightly at the camera as if it was picture day at school. The gown was big but Sans didn't seem to care, standing rather stiffly as he grinned. The one below it was what Grillby had expected. What he hadn't expected was the mark his eyes locked onto instantly. One of Sans' hands clutching tightly to his other arm which had the WingDing characters engraved in it. Grillby felt his body go numb at the sight. The mark Sans hated so much. The one he carved off of himself. His brand. This wasn't Grillby's son but some piece of property. The skeleton looked more broken and unrecognizable than Grillby had ever seen. Sans looked small as his hollow eyes started down at the ground. He grabbed onto his branded arm and his soul was on display. The soul was weak and small, barely emanating any light but the sparking magic off of it told Grillby Sans was afraid.

It only got worse from there. Much to Grillby's dismay, most of the text was gone from the folders offering no explaination though none would be excusable. The only information that remained was strictly about Sans or Papyrus and nothing with Gaster at all. What had remained were photos and plenty of them. Only a handful were good and even smaller pile were 'bearable'. The rest was simply documented torture. Grillby was afraid to touch them. His body and magic were unstable with his emotions so overworked he ran the risk of setting the flammable material ablaze by mistake. Had it not been for his son's ungodly interest in the files Grillby would have happily burned them until they were nothing more than ash. Fortunately, Asgore was there to offer any help he could. Grillby found the after picture his son was talking about among the pile. He had turned it away instantly and did so for many other after. They offered nothing but ache and Grillby wasn't sure how much his soul could take

The most haunting piece was the last Asgore had shown him. The king slid three voice recorders across the table and Grillby stared.

“When Tur and I first looked them over we hadn't played them through. We stopped halfway usually just expecting more static. He, however, played one all the way through-” he pointed to the middle one- “and we found some did have voices. Sans and Papyrus to be exact.” Grillby's fingers curled around his pants. “This one,” he pointed to the first one, “is of Sans I think. He is speaking in WingDing so I couldn't understand and the middle one is of them both.” Asgore left it off there and the flame stared of the last one.

“And the third?” He asked in an almost unrecognizable voice.

“...I promised to give him all the information on the two of them that we had.” Asgore said dark bags under his eyes. “That is why I am giving you these and everything. But, I...please. I did my job and fulfilled my end of the deal, but do not let him hear this recording.” Asgore stared at the flame with dark but sincere eyes. “Please, just get rid of it.”

“Play it,” Grillby demanded and Asgore shook his head.

“Please, do not do this.”

“Play the recorder or I will.” Asgore remained still so Grillby reached out and snatched it away. He pressed play and set it down. Asgore closed his eyes and static filled the air before it cut off.

“….Where's Papyrus?” Grillby held his breath at the sound of his eldest child's voice. Static followed for a long period before Sans' voice was hear once more. “I don't want it. I want Papyrus…….NO! Don't hurt him!….I'll take it! I'll take it please! Don't hurt him!…...No, I'm sorry please……..Yes! Yes whatever you want! I'll take it please, just don't hurt him.” Static overcame the recorder once more and Grillby wondered if it was over but Asgore turned away expression pained. Grillby braces himself for what was to come next. A high pitch scream filled the room and Grillby's body flared. “I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I CAN'T! STOP IT HURT! STOP! I CAN'T! I'M SORRY! IT BURNS! PLEASE! STOP! STOP IT I CAN'T I CAN'T! STOP-” Sans let out an another scream and Grillby slammed his fist against the recorder smashing it to pieces. The room fell into an eerie silence. Grillby started down at the shattered recorder, flame a dark mahogany. His soul pounded almost painfully against his chest as he panted. For minutes no thoughts entered his head. The only thing within him was an unbearable amount of pain and a rising hot anger. His fist slowly raised, fingers leaving scorch marks against the table as he dragged them away from the broken device.

“Are they all like that?” He asked in a quiet voice.

“No, that was the only one.”

Grillby didn't play the others.

He gathered the material in a bag provided to him by Asgore, said a quick goodbye, and left. He took the riverboat home not stopping by the Waterfalls to pick up his children. When he got home, Grillby took the files upstairs to his bedroom, fingers curling around them tightly. He entered his room and closed the door even though he was the only one home. With the door closed, his composure fell. The bartender set the files down on the table and sat on his bed and there he remained.

He needed to get up but couldn't. The thought of standing was far too exhausting for him to even consider. He needed to check on his children, see if they needed him. However, thinking of them made his chest ache. He loved them, stars did he love them. His views would never change, his love never waver, their bond as a family unbreakable. After seeing those photos though, Grillby worried how strong he'd be able to remain around them. Alone he couldn't keep up his composure and if he allowed himself a moment of free time he'd slip up. He wanted to smother them in affection and praise, give them whatever they wanted, show them that they were normal and happy and free. They'd never be in pain again, never need to fear, never need to hide. He just wanted them to be happy. Grillby knew his smothering would most likely overwhelm them after a while but he wasn't sure how long it would take to returned to normal. To forget everything he saw and to just looked at his sons as two children he found on the streets instead of two tortured and abused experiments. Either way they were children, either way they were his sons. That view never changed. It never would change. But the photos and labs were too fresh in his mind and he couldn't be his normal self. Grillby didn't want to worry Sans, knowing Papyrus would no doubt enjoy the extra affection. The bartender just needed a minute or hour, or year. Just time to forget, to overcome, to cope. His body was barely stable and the flame really didn't want to risk it getting out of control.

Deep breaths. Calm down. In. Out. Just twenty minutes more minutes, then he'd call. Just twenty more and eh might be stable enough to-

“Dad?” Papyrus called and Grillby lifted his head slightly as he heard the front door open. “Dad are you home?” Please no…

He stood up, light headed for a moment before he staggered over to the door. Grillby's fingers curled around the knob ready to hold it shut. His thumb ran over the middle, hovering over the lock that stuck out.

“Grillby?” Sans tried and Grillby pressed down on the lock and stepped away from the door. He needed a moment, his thoughts were too distorted body too faded. He could hear footsteps make their way up the stairs and he held his breath. “Grillby?” A knock came at his door.

“Hold on.” Grillby forced out, wondering if the children could hear the crackles through the door.

“Are you okay?” Sans asked through the door. Grillby tensed as he saw the knob turn but stuck, preventing it from opening. “Grillby why is your door locked?”

“Maybe he's throwing a surprise party inside,” Papyrus answered quietly.

“Just give me a moment!” Grillby said looking around and gasping as he saw the files. He darted over to them and snatched them up. Glancing around for a spot to hide them he eyed his closet and walked over to it. Grillby pulled open the door and looked at the top shelf. It was was empty minus a brown box that held Grillby's war uniform and scattered memories of the past. Even now they hurt to look at. Glancing down at the files, the element stood on his toes and lifted the box to slide the files under. He rested the box on top and closed his closet sighing loudly as he did so.

Another knock came and he silently begged for his children to somehow leave. Knowing they wouldn't, he pushed away from the closet and stared back at it to ensure it was closed without a sign of the folders peeking out.

“D-Did you have fun outside?” Grillby asked hoping the normality of the question would by him more time and help him stay focused. Breathe. Just breathe. Was he too hot? Too dark? He was too dark, fuck. He couldn't brighten up he just couldn't. His pacing only made his soul race faster knowing he had to open that door. Dread began to pool into his stomach and the flame whimpered helplessly.

“Yeah! Undyne and I-”

“Dad open the door,” Sans demanded. Grillby inhaled sharply. Why was he so impatient? Where did he learn that from? Grillby had given him all the time in the world to recover and Papyrus had patients to spare. “Grillby!” Sans reached up to try to knob once more but it was still locked. “Grillby, open it.” The flame clenched his fists tightly, trembling as he stepped closer to the door. “Grillby open the-”

“Okay,” he said cutting his son off as he stood before the door. The bartender reached out and gently brushed against the knob. The flame's fingers curled around the knob once more and he stared intensly at the wood ahead of him. He released the breath he was holding and he twisted the knob. The lock let out a click as it came undone but no one pushed the door aside. With a final breath, Grillby opened the door. Sans and Papyrus stood a step back and watched him. A wave of concern waved over Papyrus but he quickly masked it, Sans just stared seeming both upset and worried.

“You were saying Papyrus?” Grillby asked gently and the skeleton just blinked, collecting himself before continuing.

“Undyne and I found crystal under a pile of trash.” Papyrus pulled the rock out of his pocket showing the smoky, white crystal off. Grillby stared at it watching as his faded, orange light reflected off of it and said nothing. Papyrus glanced nervously at his brother who's own composure was starting to crumple under the silence. No one spoke, the only thing moving being the children's eyes as they glanced between one another and their father. Finally, Grillby moved. He knelt down before his children and pulled them both into a tight embrace. The skeletons tensed momentarily, caught off guard by the hug. The skeletons glanced at one another and Sans was the first to turn away. He wrapped his arms around his guardian and buried his face in his neck, Papyrus following after.

They remained this way for what felt like hours. Grillby just tightened his hold, wanting to be as close to them as he could while his children nuzzled him in return. They only relaxed once the flame's grip began to ease. Grillby truthfully didn't want to let go but couldn't keep them trapped in his arm forever. He did find it difficult to let them go though, and chose to hold one of their hands instead, his thumb gently stroking the bones.

“How does breakfast for dinner sound?” He asked, voice still softer than usual sounding almost as if he was about to burst into tears. The skeletons both eased at the offer, though, Papyrus smiled while Sans offered a more wholesome expression.

“Can we have pancakes?” Papyrus wondered.

“And french toast, eggs, muffins, and whatever you want.” Grillby replied, leaning over to press a quick kiss to the child's forehead. “As long as you help make it.” Papyrus' grin grew even wider nearly taking up his entire face. He let out squeal of delight tugging his guardian down the stairs but Sans lingered in the hallway. The flame glanced back at him, the younger brother waiting impatiently by the stairs. Sans stared for a moment before he released Grillby's hand only to extend his own signaling he wanted to be picked up. The flame smiled and scooped his son up, placing him on his shoulder. Sans hunched over, arms around his father's neck as he rested his skull against Grillby's flame.

“You want a hotdog omelette, Sans?” The flame asked and Sans hummed, nodding against his father's head.

“Yes please.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Mossy for helping me with this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you all very much for commenting!


	47. Time

The files lingered in the back of Grillby's mind for the duration of the following two weeks. If he was honest, everything he had witnessed that day in the labs followed him. He tried his best to not let it show but the flame believed Sans saw through him. Grillby didn't feel or act differently to his children in any way that wasn't positive. He had spoiled them at first, making them their favorite meals and doing whatever he possibly could to make them aware of how much he loved them. Papyrus was thrilled with the extra attention but he was gone most days, unlike Sans. The elder skeleton didn't seem to be bothered by it but directly told his father that he didn't have to try to make him happy and that he was content with how his life was currently. That didn't stop Grillby from breaking away from his bar whenever possible to ask his son if he wanted anything or to just give him affection. Sans was always happy to receive affection of any kind and has turned into one of the more commonly used ways Grillby expressed his love for the child. Hugs, kisses, hand holding, even picking the skeleton up just to hold him were all different ways the two exchanged their feelings.

Sans' therapy had been going extremely well too. Grillby almost couldn't believe how well his child was progressing at times. Whether it was the medication or the skeleton's own coping skills, Sans had complete control over himself. His incident with Tur and Asgore had hardly affected him in any way like his outbursts normally would have. Grillby wondered if it was just because Sans wanted his file that badly but the skeleton hadn't brought it up at all. Never had he mentioned it in passing conversation and Grillby hadn't even seen Sans attempting to look around for it. Grillby was mildly pleased with this, hoping that secretly his child had forgotten about it as a whole and they could put this ordeal behind them, but he was a man of his word. Sans' medication was stable. His voices were gone and attacks completely under control. He was tired often and his hands still twitched but Sans seemed more than okay with the trade off. Sans had been on the medication for three days now and there was nothing wrong. Grillby had no reason to break his promise despite every magical ounce inside of him not wanting to ever look at those files again let alone allow his child to see them. But, as he stared up at his closet, arms extended outwards, he just reminded himself that this wasn't for him. This was for Sans. Sans wanted them. He worked for them. They were his and not Grillby's to hoard away.

His fingers curled around them as he stared down at Papyrus' crossed out cover and swallowed. Without another thought, he moved forward and to the staircase. Sans sat on the couch with a book, completely engrossed minus his finger occasionally tapping against the book. He let out a yawn but didn't notice his father until Grillby stood a few feet away. The skeleton looked up and offered a smile. The bartender stood silently and Sans' smile shrunk as his pupils trailed down to the two files in Grillby's hands. He stared unmoving for a solid minute. His pupils faded and shrunk, fluctuating as he thought before they traveled back up to his father.

“Where's Pap?” Sans asked quietly.

“Out with Undyne. Mostly likely for a few hours.” Sans gave a small nod, pupils glued to the folders. “Why don't we sit at the table?” The bartender suggested and Sans closed his book and followed his guardian to their dining room. Sans pulled himself up into his chair and Grillby held his breath as he set the files down. Sans immediately snatched up his brother's file as Grillby pulled his chair closer. Sans' index finger brushed against the folder, tracing along the marker with a slight frown before his fingers curled around the corner of the cover and opened it. He was greeted by a familiar sheet and a photo. Sans held his breath and felt his soul beat at the picture of his unhappy brother. With a quick reminder, he released his breath keeping his body calm.

Safe. They were safe. Papyrus was safe. Papyrus was happy.

Turning the photos over, Sans looked over the information sheet. It was filled out minus a few missing words. Looking over at the right page Sans browbone furrowed. Far more text was missing here. In fact, there was barely a full paragraph on the page. Why was so much text missing? Grillby had mentioned something about missing information but Sans hadn't imagined it like this. He turned the page to find that they were the same. Chunks were gone, leaving hardly anything left.

“Did they do something to it?” Sans found himself asking

“No, that's how they found it.” The bartender replied and Sans' frown grew. He began skipping through only glancing over bits, his confusing growing. Perplexed, Sans pushed his brother's file aside and snatched his own. Grillby tensed but Sans threw it open to a random page and looked over the practically empty page.

“Where's all the information?” Sans muttered, flipping the page to no avail. He sat back staring between the folders them back up at his guardian. “Is it all like this?” Grillby gave a short nod. “W...Why?” Sans mumbled frowning down at the folders. He reached for his once more and opened it to the first page he knew so well. Grillby had flipped the photos over but Sans ignored the left side focusing only on the notes.

“This isn't right,” Sans said. “This,” he circled the missing text, “that should say how I woke up. **Today I watched subject S awake for the first time. The subject appeared confused and scared but he could not move or speak.** ” Sans traced along the paper where the missing words were as he recited the words his guardian didn't know. “His thoughts are gone. His documentation is gone.” Sans looked back over at the paper and suddenly his frown vanished as he started at the paper. “Grillby,” Sans said leaning forward, tapping his hand against the table. “Grillby wait this stuff. Subject S awoke last night. Subject S continues to lack motor skills. Subject S, Grillby!”

“Y-Yeah, kid. It's your file,” The flame said uncomfortably.

“No, it's all about us!” Sans grabbed Papyrus' file and pointed. “Subject P refused to attack. Subject P unable to handle determination.”

“Sans I don't know what you expect. These are your files. Should it not be about you two?”

“No, the words! All the words look!” Sans turned the page and pointed to another sentence. “Subject S passed defensive training against bone attacks.” He flipped the page. “Subject P failed live subject testing. All the text has to do with is us. He isn't in here at all! None of Gaster's though or notes are here at all. Every test ended with his predicted outcome just like it began with his hypothesis. But it's not there. Not unless it had to do with us!”

“O-Okay...Can you explain the significance in that?” The flame wondered and Sans just stared at him for a moment.

“...He's gone.” Sans said simply unsure of how to feel. “Not just in memories, but in here too. There's literally nothing left of what he thought. He never existed. That machine didn't just erase him from our minds but from our whole world.” Sans' frowned and his shoulder's sunk. “Why does this sound so surprising to me?” He whispered and Grillby remained silent allowing his child to think. Sans eventually looked up at the folders unsure of what to do. He wanted to read some of it. Bit he couldn't remember, parts he was curious about. If there was a question he had about his body or soul the answer would have been in here. Not anymore, though. The file almost felt useless. It was no longer a documented report of his life but a giant file making his every action. That made him uncomfortable. Knowing other looked at it without being aware of the context it once held made him nervous.

Sans flipped back to the first page of both folder and compared the two. His pupils landed on the backward photos and reached out to them. Grillby tensed, fingers twitching wanting to stop his child but he remained still. Sans removed the paperclip and brought the photo's over to him. He stared down at the smiling photo of himself and wanted to cringe. Those moments were short lived and knowing that he smiled only out of pure ignorants and bliss made him feel ill. He flicked the photo aside and stared down at one he thought he'd be more familiar with. However, the skeleton felt his body to numb, soul feeling heavy. He looked terrible, terrified, broken. His pupils raked over the photo, his free hand going over to clutch at his arm as he spotted the markings carved into him. He knew his appearance was bad but had he really become desensitized to it that much? His cuts didn't seem that deep to him before. The scorch marks never that black. His arms looked more like some horrid beehive with all the needle wounds. The skeleton examined his arm now, practically scarless and healed due to the magic medication Ellen had given him months ago.

“...Did I always look like this?” Sans asked. Grillby remained silent unsure if Sans really wanted an answer and not quite sure how to answer. They both looked close to death then they first arrived. As Grillby got to see more of them that fear grew as he realized how damaged they both were physically. However, the photo made it seem far worse. Perhaps it was his soul on display or the marking on his arm, either way, Grillby gave no response.

After a minute Sans set the photo down and stared at the table for a couple second before he looked up at their files. How much had he simply ignored? It hurt to get those mark but not as much as it seemed. Did it actually not hurt or did Sans just begin to numb himself? Did the injections just start feeling the same? Did the tests just stop meaning anything other than life and death? The skeleton wondered now, almost fearfully, if the time he spent in the labs was more traumatizing than he recalled. Had he actually just repressed it all that much?

“Are you okay?” Grillby asked. Sans couldn't look at him and only pulled Papyrus folder closer. “You don't have to push yourself.” He was given no response again.

Sans spent twenty minutes reading Papyrus' folder in silence. His fingers brushed against every photo and trailed along the text the feeling keeping him grounded. There had been several photos that made him turned away, whimper, or shut the folder. Pictures of cracked bones, burnt arms, files documenting how loudly he screamed. Each time he was left breathing heavily, staring at the wall until the horrific feeling faded into a numbing sensation. The end of the folder didn't come quick enough. It was the smallest thing but felt like an eternity to get through. Once done, he closed it and pushed it away. 

He tried his best. He tried so hard to keep his brother safe. Yet still, he failed. Papyrus was alive now, happier than he ever was and would be in the labs. But it offered little held to Sans' growing guilt.

Taking a deep breath, Sans looked back over at his own file. He didn't want to go through it but somehow felt like he should. A part of him wanted to check to see what was gone and what wasn't, what photos remained if it was as bad as he remembers, so many questions. But his numb soul and sanity begged him not to. And Grillby did as well.

“Please stop, we can try this another day.” The flame said as Sans pulled his blue folder closer. “Sans please, you can't push yourself. I know you aren't okay.”

“I want to see it.” Sans...lied?

“You can see it tomorrow, please. Just stop for today.”

“You said you'd let me see it,” Sans told his guardian. “That it was mine and I could do whatever I wanted with it.”

“It is yours but that doesn't mean you have to push yourself. You can take all the time you want to look it over.”

Sans gave no response and only flipped it open. Ten pages in Sans began to regret his decision but lacked the will to stop or look away. Each page sparked an old memory reminding him of each day and what had happened. The earlier pages were easy to get through. Simple times with simple testing. Summon this, attack that, solve this, break that. It wasn't until Papyrus came in that the tests got harder and the consequences got graver.

**S responded quite well to threats regarding P. S no longer hesitant or aggressive. S completely obedient after injecting P.**

Each page usually ended with a sentence regarding Sans' level of obedience. As they went on it only grew stronger as the skeleton's fear grew each day. By the time they fled Sans would have done anything Gaster asked in order to keep his brother alive. He only just then realized that he didn't need Gaster's threat to remind him of that.

Papyrus' folder hurt him to look at. It hurt his soul to see the damage done and to know it was, despite what everyone including himself told him, his fault. Sans' folder, however, hurt him physically. Looking over the photos or reading the text sent phantom pains through is body. He often grabs at the area both as a reminder he was okay and because it genuinely hurt. There had been multiple times were Grillby asked him to stop, usually around pages were Sans lingered or on tests that did damage to him. There had even been a time when Sans stared at the photo of his collapsed and melted ribs for too long causing the flame to reach over and turn the page, burning the paper as he did so. Sans found the pages disturbing and uncomfortable as well, however, some part of him couldn't stop until he reached the end.

Sans felt odd. Every trial, every test, every injection, every single thing that was ever done to him was document here. This was San's entire childhood. His youth stashed away in a single folder. Other had memories and childhood trinkets but he had documentation. Papers that hurt him to look at. Memories he had repressed or simply overlooked. Determination hurt but he didn't recall begging for help like the paper said. The testing was painful but he couldn't' quite recall losing consciousness for three days. It all hurt but not nearly as much as he recalled.

Turning the final page, Sans paused when he saw scattered photos and two voice recorders.

“What is this?” He asked softly not recalling the placement.

“Extra things they found.” Sans finger grazed against the voice recorder before he retracted. “Asgore said one is of you and the other is of you both. I hadn't played them.”

“...Is he on them?” Sans asked gripping loosely onto one of the recorders.

“No.”

The skeleton examined the recorder, holding it as if it was some dead animal. With a wince, he pressed the play button and set it down.

“ **Experiment 01S, Sans!** ” Sans clicked his teeth together wanting to turn it off. “ **Trial seventeen blue attack on a live target!** ” Sans cringed.

“What are you saying?” Grillby asked and Sans turned away.

“Experiment 01S, Sans. Trial seventeen, blue attack on a live target,” Sans repeated waiting for the voice to continue. “I understand, summon the soul of the three targets and turn them blue. Then eliminate the target with femur attack.” Static rang out and the two remained silent before it picked back up.

“ **Trial completed, targets eliminated! Do I get a reward?** ” Sans quickly turned off the recording. He was silent, feeling vile and dirty.

“Trial completed,” Sans mumbled, “targets eliminated…I then asked for a reward.” Sans finished translating. He hated his obedience. He hated himself. Doing everything and anything for such a trivial reward. Being bought by can't or a toy. He was disgusting. 

Despite the skeleton's reluctance, Sans went ahead and played the next recorder. If Papyrus was in it, it couldn't be that bad.

“Where did he go?” Papyrus asked. Sans and Grillby tensed at the voice.

“Does it matter?” Sans replied.

“...Do you think he's watching us?”

“He's always watching us.”

“I'm sorry I didn't follow his orders today.”

“It's okay. You did your best.”

“It's not okay, you got hurt because of it.”

“I'm fine.”

“N-No you aren't! Your arm is broken and he-he kept shocking you-”

“ _ **I'm fine.**_ _”_ The audio went silent for a few moments before sniveling could be heard.

“I don't want him to hurt us anymore,” Papyrus cried. “Will he ever go away, Sans? Is there somewhere else other than the labs? W-Will we ever be free?” Silence took over the audio before it cut out. The lack of response disturbed Grillby deeply. Sans was always quick to reassure his sibling that everything was fine. He glanced at his son who stared down at the table with empty sockets.

There had come a time where reassuring Papyrus was impossible. Sans could no longer lie to his brother. He couldn't promise him safety or freedom for Sans did not believe they existed. He was powerless. What he said did not matter and what he did meant nothing. The only thing he could do was obey Gaster and pray he did a good enough job. Papyrus knew this as well. After being dragged away enough times, his hope vanished and it crushed Sans. It broke him to see his brother and know that he was just as miserable and shattered as he was. That he knew Sans was useless and could do nothing. That they were stuck in the labs forever with no one to cry out to and no escape. They could run but get nowhere and they could scream but no one would listen. They weren't monsters, they were objects. And no one cared objects. 

Sans weakly lifted his trembling hand, pupils barely visible. He knocked the pile of photos over barely paying enough attention to really notice them. He just stared down at the less depressing photos looking distant. Grillby remained alert, ready to offer his support if needed. Sans continued to stare lost in thought.

He didn't feel well. In fact, he felt quite horrific. His soul beat heavily but his magic felt weak. The numerous photos played in a loop bringing back not only the memory of how they happened but the phantom pain as well. Different part of his body sparked up and he wanted to wince but didn't. Even looking at the happier photo's didn't help. They all were in those labs. Each one he appeared more scarred than before. Sans had gotten so use to his marking and wounds that the amount of them hardly phased him. They all blended together leaving him impure and broken. Now, healed and practically scarless, he had forgotten how much he had. Watching as the photos progressed, watching as one mark appeared, then another, and another, until he was just a shattered skeleton...it hurt to look at.

Sans was thankful Grillby had made him wait to see them. Had his voices still been prevalent Sans no doubt would have lost it. His own thoughts weren't that much better, but at least they weren't insulting or blaming him for the damage. This wasn't his fault. He did all he could. It just hurt so much to remember, to see. It overloaded him. He should have taken it slowly. Only been given the folder, maybe not the photos, or just some but not the bad ones, he had just been so eager. Why? Why did he think he'd be okay with seeing it? Why did he think that this was a logical step forward? Why didn't he listen to everyone's warnings?

What if he was set back because of this? What if his progress was ruined? He felt terrible. Sans felt even worse knowing that if anything was his fault, it was this. His impatience. Was he every good at controlling it? Not unstable that's for sure. Sans always had to act impulsively before, he had to make quick decisions and had no time to think things through. Life or death, run or hide, fight or die. Patience was something he should have practiced more of. If he had, maybe he wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe he wouldn't have rushed himself. Maybe, just maybe, he would have realized how unprepared he really was.

His still relatively calm mind helped to ease some of his anxiety. His medication was still working. He didn't mess that up. He's not as far back as he feared. He hadn't attacked anyone. He hadn't fallen into a panic attack. He was just...unhappy.

Sans slowly inched away from the table, leaning against the back of his chair. His pupils were brighter but expression more pained. He closed his sockets and took in a deep breath turning away from the photos.

“I don't think I was ready to see these.” He admitted quietly and Grillby closed the files. Sans released the breath he was holding not sure if he wanted to walk around to try to distract himself or curl up under his blankets. He decided to try to stand, but only manage to turn his body sideways before he gave up and remained sitting. Grillby went ahead and put away all the pictures and evidence. The flame decided to give his son a minute and took the files upstairs and returned them to his closet. He went back downstairs to find his son in the same spot and sighed going over to him. He rested his hand against the chair not wanting to startle him by a sudden touch.

“Sans,” the bartender called, kneeling down next to him. “Talk to me, buddy.”

“...I don't feel...very good.” Grillby took in a deep breath and released it slowly.

“I know, kiddo,” He said reassuringly. San leaned forward, resting his forehead against Grillby's chest.

“I wasn't ready to see all that.”

“...I know.”

“I was impatient. I should have listened.”

“You just did what you thought was right.”

“It wasn't...you are always right. I'm sorry I didn't listen.”

“There's nothing to apologize for, Sans. We all make mistakes. All things considered, you handled this very well.” Sans didn't feel like he did.

“It's because I waited like you said. You were right again.”

“I'm just experienced, Sans. But like you said, we all heal and recovery in different ways. We took a chance and it didn't work out. It's not the end of the world.” Sans just nodded weakly staring down at the ground. “Do you want me to see if I can schedule an appointment with Foli today?” Grillby asked and Sans gave a weak nod, clicking his teeth together.

“Y-Yes please.”

Sadly Foli was not available that day. Grillby and Papyrus did their best to cheer Sans up but he just seemed out of it. The two weren't sure how to feel about the child's mood considering it wasn't as bad as it had been in the past. No old habits returned, no voices came up, and the medication worked fine. There hadn't been a single panic attack or unusual mood swing either. Sans just seemed depressed. His voice was softer than usual and he was constantly torn between doing nothing and doing something. Doing nothing left him plagued with negative thoughts and feelings but doing anything was exhausting and made him sad. Sans couldn't enjoy his freedom because he kept thinking of it as that, freedom. Something he earned himself for escaping the labs and the torture he endured. The torture the pictures reminded him off. He was safe and he was fine but that didn't stop him from remembering the times he wasn't.

“You've triggered yourself, Sans,” Foli told him in their session the following day. “Grillby, actually, you may be able to relate to this since it's commonly seen in monster having PTSD.”

“But I thought Sans didn't have PTSD,” Grillby said and Foli nodded.

“He didn't, and quite possibly not have it now. His symptoms before were not that of PTSD. However, post-traumatic stress disorder is a disorder caused by seeing or experiencing traumatic events which Sans had seen and experienced. His disorder was caused by these events but what he did was and could easily be connected to PTSD. Do you not agree?”

“I do but does this mean he has PTSD?”

“No, not entirely. It would certainly be an assumption and a logical one as well but he has no other symptoms. It's just easier to compare this situation to that of someone with PTSD because essentially Sans pushed himself and tried to look over the files when he wasn't ready. No doubt a similar situation happened to you as well.” Grillby just frowned looked back at his son. “From now on I'd like to, and think it's best to look at things regarding him seeing or doing anything with the labs or Gaster from the point as someone who has PTSD and not schizoaffective-disorder. Schizoaffective-disorder, or at least what Sans has, isn't meant to be treated as PTSD. In therapy sessions, I wouldn't use common coping methods for PTSD but instead the one I have been which are for those who suffer from depression, panic attacks, and even schizophrenia. But those do not pertain or really deal with a big issue like this.

“Sans currently, is treated and fine with what Doctor Kawa has diagnosed him with. The medication is working beautifully and if he were to have an attack or feel panicked he now knows how to cope and handle that. That situation is dealt with, for now. This new one isn't about helping him come to terms with that happened or getting him to believe what is real or not. He's not unstable and no longer fragile. This problem is one a monster with PTSD or PTSD related disorder deals with. Coping with rape, war, abuse, this is just like all of those. They all are very different and the therapy session will talk about different things but they are the same as well. Getting over and learning how to be yourself again after a traumatic experience. Now Sans has dealt with a lot of the more beginning parts of PTSD patients. Establishing what happened, keeping away from toxic habits, mood swings, the medications, we've already finish most of it. Now, it's more of the final stages, those bumps of falling back down and trying to overcome what has happened. With this type of situation, Sans really doesn't need to learn how to cope with these visuals. Unless you plan to work as a royal scientist or activity look into what happened there is really no reason to try to push yourself like this Sans. Is there a particular reason as to why you want to do this?” Sans shrugged. “Did you want to just because you'd get your file?”

“I-...I just wanted to be better,” Sans mumbled.

“Recovery isn't about pushing yourself, Sans. You are better, and getting better each day. Forcing yourself to do these things won't help. Even if you never see them again, you are still better. Just because they made you uncomfortable or depressed doesn't mean you haven't improved. Recovery doesn't work like that.”

“...Then how do you know you're done?”He asked.

“You know your done when you learn that overcoming your fears doesn't mean you're better. Recovery isn't a physical thing. It's a mental thing. It's being able to know your limits. It's being able to allow yourself to be sad but also know that it's okay and will be better. It's about looking at the past and knowing it is the past. It's about you, Sans. What do you want?” Foli looked at her patient who stared back at her with sorrowful sockets.

What did he want? He wanted his file but got it. He wanted to be better and he was. He wanted his voices gone and they were. He wanted his sanity back and he had it. What could he want now? Did he want to overcome these obstacles? If so why? What would he gain? The self-priding victory or being able to look at his file and not be miserable? The ability to go to the labs and not panic? Why did that matter? Did it even matter? Sans wanted to say it did, but he didn't feel like it had much worth. Sans was happy earlier in the week, he had forgotten about his files at times and just relished in life and it had been enjoyable. But something felt wrong. Missing. Grillby had talked about him returning to school in the winter, something Sans was mildly excited about. It didn't stop the feeling from lingering. He thought that maybe it was his file but after seeing it he knew it wasn't. So what was it? What was he missing?

“Closure?” Grillby suggests and Sans glanced at him.

“Closure?” Sans repeated and the flame nodded.

“You know how I struggle with things at times. Flurry told me that I'm just looking for closure. Waiting for the barrier to fall so I can see for myself what the world has become. See if humans are truly something to be feared. If they still hate us. If they don't and want to make peace. Maybe even see the battlefield and be able to feel at peace somehow knowing my struggles are over.” That his struggles were over. Sans faced the ground once more, face contorted into a look of thought.

“Closure,” He said again in a more confident voice. He raised his head and face Foli expression shifting between hesitation and determination. “I wanted closure. I...still want closure.”

Foli crossed her arm and leaned against her desk.

“Can I ask why?”

“I don't know," he answered honestly.

“Okay, well, what about a goal? After, a month or three where, mentally, do you hope to be?” Foli questioned and Sans clicked his teeth together.

“I want to try to look at my file again,” Sans said and Foli took in a deep breath, nodding her head.

“Are you willing to move more slowly this time?”

“Yes.”

“If you really want to get closure on this, will you listen and think over the advice I give you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me to advise and help you reach your goal even if it takes longer than you want?”

“Yes.”

“Are you willing to let me see these files?” Sans tensed at this question.

“No.”

“It could take longer to achieve your goal if you don't.” Sans gave no response so Foli faced the flame. “I'm gong to rely on you to be able to help him when he does begin to look these files over if he truly wants to. You'll need to be able to pace him, know his limitations, help him stay stable, and help him cope.”

“I'm aware of the process,” Grillby noted.

“Will you deny Sans the ability to see more if he asks to? Ensure that he takes this one step at a time and does not try to push himself?”

“Yes.”

“And Sans, this is really what you want? To seek visual closure on the events that happened to you in your past?” Foli questioned and Sans took a moment to think it over before answering.

“Yes."

“Alright,” the therapist said leaning back in her chair, her arm reaching over to grab a pen. “Then next session I will help you and work with you on dealing with the emotional and mental issues and struggles revolving around both PTSD and achieving closure. I will also tell Doctor Kawa about your decision and have him keep tabs on your medication, we may need to raise or lower your antidepressant depending on how you react. Alright?”

“Okay,” Sans said, nerves and excitement bubbling within him.

“This is what you really want? Not for anyone else or no other reason? Recovery doesn't have to mean this. You will always have hesitation and always be uncertain at times. Depressive times will come but that doesn't mean you are broken. There are ways around this and helping you that don't involve closure. Knowing this, are you absolutely certain this is what you want to do?” Foli stressed, a leaf falling from her head. Sans watched it fall before he glanced over at Grillby who stared back. Sans then let his pupils wander back to his therapists' face and gave a nod.

“Yes, I am certain.”

“Alright, I'll see you on Monday then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Popping these bad boys out like no one's business. 3 left (hopefully), jeez time flies don't it? Not even a full year and look how far we've come. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around through these final chapters guys, you're all swell. Thank you for commenting as usual, it's always nice to see.
> 
>  
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question


	48. Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one.

Time continued on as it always does. As autumn passed so did Grillby's birthday. Bonnie had planned a large party at his bar for him and Sans and Papyrus were ecstatic to celebrate and be a part of their first real birthday experience. Many Snowdin dwellers came and the party went on till late in the night. Sans and Papyrus both tried to keep up with the adults, using their excitement over their first real birthday celebration to fuel them but it was short lived. Sans and Papyrus both fell asleep hours before the party ended and Grillby let them rest as he cleaned his bar with the help of Bonnie and a few guard members.

By the end of autumn, Foli also had Sans start looking over the file once more. Sans was frustrated at times with how slow she was taking it, the first few days he wasn't even allowed to touch it and was only allowed to look at the folder itself. He knew the slow progress was needed though and after a few weeks was allowed to see more and more for longer durations each time. It helped his mood and confidence in himself to see the progress he had made. Being able to look at even a photo without feeling as terrible as he had before was a wonderful feeling. Of course, the occasional sadness still came as did the depression but it wasn't nearly as bad as it once was.

That sadness was often pushed aside by school which Sans had started to attend once again. He was behind but it wasn't a problem for him at all. In fact, he rather enjoyed the challenge of catching up. He had last left his school with a rather odd reputation. Being the youngest student there got him attention and his incident regarding his own bullying problem did as well. This year, it didn't really bother Sans. It could be because he didn't hear anyone whisper about him or the fact he was no longer paranoid enough to care. He was there to learn and he planned to do just that. There were still monsters who teased him but instead of retaliating Sans found it more amusing knowing that he could easily beat them and would often daydream about it during his boring classes. Sans had even made a few friends which helped the more tedious classes pass by faster. They also helped keep him awake, a thing he struggled to do himself due to his medication. Sans was certain if Grillby had not notified the school of the pills he would have been given more than one note home about it.

Winter arrived and with it many holidays. Grillby had made a day of the sixteenth of December, the day the boys came to him a year ago. The boys were happy to celebrate the little anniversary as well. Papyrus and Sans carefully dragged Grillby to the Waterfalls where they showed him their favorite spots to watch the glowing crystals and the three stayed there for hours talking, cuddling, and just being content with one another's company. When they returned home they snuggled on the couch Grillby receiving the most love from his children who constantly thanked him the entire day. They thanked him for taking them in, for helping them, caring for them, loving them, and giving them the life they have now. One they never imaged having and were truthfully unable to believe they had and were forever grateful for.

As the days till Christmas dwindled down, so did the amount of days left for Sans' little file closure process. By the twentieth, he had managed to be able to look through his and Papyrus' files and photos all without a single attack or negative effect. They still made him uncomfortable and a tad depressed but no longer to the point where they consumed him. He viewed them how they were, old memories and they stung as such too. Some feeling deep down would always linger as a constant reminder but something he knew he was behind him. He wasn't there and even if he was, Sans wasn't the same monster he was back then. Hell, he wasn't even a monster in the past. He knew he was now and he felt like one too. He had control over his action and mind and was able to think for himself without fear of consequences. Having that freedom was enough of a reminder to keep him grounded. Sans was Sans and he would never allow himself to forget that.

Grillby, Sans, and Papyrus celebrated Christmas with Grillby's family who came down to enjoy the holidays in Snowdin where the festive mood was more present than in the sweltering heat of Hotland. Sulfi spoiled Sans and Papyrus rotten with the amount of presents that she said were also from Flint. Papyrus invited Undyne over but she was spending it with Asgore claiming he got lonely without her with him for the holidays. So their small party went on with plenty of food and presents for all. Sulfi and Flint both showed and captivated the skeleton children in monster Christmas traditions as well as one their own family had. Sans and Papyrus were both excited to indulge in them, all but the ones that involved eating Sulfi's food no longer trusting after their last time with it. Sulfi was far from offended and instead welcomed the new challenge.

“Grillby, give me the embers.” The blue flame huffed, reaching out for the bottle.

“I swear Sulf, if you burn my kids mouth once more time I'll drown you.” Grillby threatened, holding them out of her reach

“A few embers won't hurt them.” 

“Yes, it will. They aren't made of fire!”

“How are they going to build up a tolerance if you don't work them on it?” Sulfi questioned, attempting to jump up to reach them.

“Normally I'd agree with you if this didn't involve eating lava!” The bartender fought off the flame who tried to climb up his body.

“It's a lava supplement Grillby!” Sulfi huffed, fighting off Grillby's attempts to get her off of him.

“Flint control your wife!” The bartender shouted.

“Sulfi don't burn the children,” Flint said unenthusiastically from the living room where he sat on the couch with Sans sleeping on his lap while Papyrus sat with Fiora on the floor.

Flint had been over the moon whenever Sans displayed open affection to him, trying his best to control his emotions but his flame's waving and curling ends gave him away. Of course, Grillby teased him about it constantly frequently asking Sans to give or do something involving Flint that the child would agree to completely unaware of the brother's antics. Sans' own behavior was small at first. He had been rather embarrassed and shy about how he had acted in the past but after a day or two, he was back to his normal self. Unlike Grillby or Papyrus, Flint did not tease Sans for sleeping on him or try to do anything to him while he slept, making the yellow flame his living bed. Flint was quite protective of the positions, warding off Papyrus and Fiora who had both tried on numerous occasions to draw on Sans' face while he was asleep. Sans didn't just use Flint as a pillow and blanket but usually leaned on or took the hand of most anyone near him. He was always willing to be carried or dragged around complaining he was either too lazy or tired to move himself. He had even developed a bizarre habit of falling asleep standing up which resulting in someone having to hold his hand whenever they were outside in fear of leaving him somewhere. Of course, no one complained, finding it far more amusing than anything else.

Sulfi, Fiora, and Flint stayed till New Years celebrating with the rest of Snowdin. Most of the town would start the celebration in the center by the large tree always decorated with lights. It was a nice festival with food stands, games to play, and performers singing and dancing. Undyne came over to spend the day with Papyrus and Sans stuck with Grillby. He would sometimes wander off to be with his brother or talk to a few of his friends like Kitty.

Oddly enough, as the incidents regarding the skeleton children lessened and their presence in the town was becoming more normal, the rumors about them slowly faded away. Many of the children from Papyrus' old school came to apologize. Sans told them all to beat it but of course, Papyrus would never be so rude. For most of them, he accepted their apology knowing they only wanted to avoid being bullied themselves. However when Ryan, Gek, and Mich attempted to apologize, Gek and Mich dragged by their mother's, Papyrus simply said he'd forgive them, but not forget. Sans was happy with that, knowing it would be the most unfriendly Papyrus would ever be. Papyrus' infectious happiness won over the town once again and the children flocked around him, something that startled Undyne at first. Sans felt at ease watching Undyne stand in front of his brother the first time the children attempted to apologize, magic at the ready. She'd be there for him when Sans wasn't and knowing that made his relationship with Undyne seem almost more like a weird bond. The two didn't hate each other by any means but Sans' more relaxed and quiet nature was not compatible for Undyne's loud and aggressive one. Sans didn't believe it matched Papyrus' either but after watching them play he knew the two were fine. If Undyne or anyone got hurt the other was by their side in seconds making sure they were okay and that no one was hurt. Once a smile was given, they were back at it and Sans had spent a couple hours just watching them wrestle for entertainment. Papyrus was durable that's for sure. Undyne's magic was very spastic and unstable and she often ended up injuring herself most of the time. Whenever playing, Papyrus had to prepare himself for unknown and unpredictable attacks from Undyne which resulting in him getting knocked around more than once. Sans was horrified the first time Papyrus took a spear to the skull but thankfully Undyne's magic wasn't very solidified and only ever left Papyrus immobile for a few seconds with the fish monster's green attack. Now, Papyrus had gotten very good at summoning a bone wall in order to stop the spear. If he did get hit, he always got revenge by turning Undyne's soul blue.

“You're blue now!” Papyrus shouted stuck in his spot.

“Gah! Stop turning me blue!”

“Stop turning me green!”

“I didn't mean to!”

“I didn't either!”

“If I wasn't stuck on this ground I'd punch you for lying!” Undyne snapped and Sans snorted as he sat on the porch steps.

“You aren't practicing hard enough,” Papyrus said, feeling slowly returning to his legs granting him the ability to bend his knees. “Sans has been helping me and now I can use the blue attack!”

“I practice all the time. My magic is just stronger than yours so it takes more time! Besides, your lazy brother probably found the easiest ways to master his magic. That's not gonna get the best results in battle!”

“Oh yeah?” Papyrus placed his soul back inside once it was no longer green. “Then why does my blue attack last longer than your green one?”

“Because you cheated,” Undyne said matter of factly.

“I did not!” Papyrus retorted in outrage.

“Someone's a sore loser.” Sans joked and Undyne huffed, blowing her bangs out of her face. “Need some help?” He teased and Undyne scowled. “Pap isn't too good at calling the blue off. You might be stuck there for a minute or two.” Papyrus looked a bit guilty, offering his friend a sympathetic smile.

“If you teach your brother all this why don't you fight more?” Undyne said and Sans shrugged. Closing his glowing socket as he lifted his finger, pulling Undyne's soul up so she wasn't laying on the floor.

“Too much wasted energy. Who am I gonna fight anyways?”

“Me! One on one!” Undyne shouted and Sans laughed.

“You? That's not a fair fight, Undyne. I mean you can't even get out of a blue attack.” Sans gently tugged around Undyne's soul dragging her body left and right to prove his point.

“Sans don't play with her soul that's rude,” Papyrus said, taking the soul from his brother's control. Sans smiled lazily and snapping his fingers, the blue faded, weak enough to be called off.

“What about two on one, tough guy?” Undyne suggested and Sans leaned forward.

“I can't fight my bro. I'd loose, he's too amazing.”

“Sans, please.” Papyrus scoffed, holding back a smile.

“Think you're gonna lose? I guess it's noble of you to admit defeat to a battle you can't win.” Sans clicked his teeth together knowing Undyne was baiting him. Papyrus giggled and Sans tapped his finger against the wooden porch.

“Bet I can beat you without even summoning an attack,” Sans said, rising to his feet. A little energy wasting spar never hurt. And since his soul was no longer fragile he no longer feared an accidental death either. Plus it would help his brother practice more and with thirty-six HP, Sans had health to spare.

“Oh yeah?” Undyne grinned, pulling her hair up.

“You sure Sans?” Papyrus questioned.

“Sure bro. I'll even let you have my dessert if you pin me down.” Papyrus grinned at the reward.

“Okay! Then on the count of three, we'll-”

“GO!” Undyne shouted before charging forward. Before she could land a hit Sans teleported away and left her tripping over the steps. “Huh?! What kinda cheap trick is that?!”

“No fair Sans!” Papyrus cried and Sans laughed.

“Sorry bro, Grillby said we're getting nice cream and there's no way I'm giving that up easily.” Sans stepped back to avoid the spear that was lunged at him before he teleported behind his brother. He pressed a kiss to the back of his brother's skull before he kicked his feet out from under him. “You okay?” Sans asked, ducking to avoid Undyne.

“I'm gonna be great once I get that double nice cream cone,” Papyrus said, pushing himself up and Sans grinned.

“There's my little bro. Come on Paps, I'm not glass. You'll never get into the guard fighting like this. Wow Undyne, you almost got me there.” Sans said, mildly impressed as he heard the buzz of the magic fly by his skull.

“You talk too much!”

“I'm encouraging.” Sans corrected quickly teleporting away and stumbling back to avoid his brother's bone he launched. “Jeez Pap, warn a guy. Your magic isn't as loud as Undyne's.”

“You'll live,” Papyrus said as he rolled his eyes, summoning three bones from behind Sans that he avoided.

“Team attack Papyrus! Blue attack!” Sans watched as Papyrus summoned a blue bone and launched it. Sans held perfectly still, allowing it to pass through him with no effect. “The other blue attack!” Undyne cried and Papyrus huffed.

“I have to hit him first Undyne!”

“Shout all your strategies and I'll just pretend I don't hear them.” Sans taunted and Undyne shouted throwing three spears Sans teleported away from. Papyrus flung himself at his brother, swinging a femur bone that Sans danced around to avoid being hit by. “Look at you! You are getting pretty fast,” Sans encouraged.

“I think your laziness has made you slower.” Papyrus panted, eyes darting behind Sans. The skeleton frowned before he heard the buzz of magic. Papyrus flung the bone at Sans as he dove to the side, avoiding the spear behind him and the bone. Undyne's spear collided into Papyrus and Papyrus' bone bonked Undyne in the head. They both grunted and fell back causing Sans to wince.

“You bonehead! You turned me blue!” Undyne cried out in frustration.

“You okay, Pap?” Sans asked and Papyrus groaned, facing away from his brother as he sat up.

“I think so.”

“Think? She hit you too hard?” Sans went over to his brother and Papyrus shook his head.

“No, it's just...” Sans went still as he felt a bone trust itself through his ribs before vanishing. A loud 'ping' sound echoed and Sans fell to the ground, his soul before him a dark blue. “Just that those two nice cream cones are gonna taste so good!!!” Papyrus spun around grinning and Sans gawked at him. He threw his arms up cheered, Undyne cheering as well once realizing what happened.

“You little devil,” Sans said in disbelief.

Needless to say, Sans felt better knowing Undyne was with his brother but knew Papyrus was more than fine on his own.

After the festivities in the town center died down the lingering adults would go to Grillby's bar for drinks. Sans and Papyrus went around receiving extra attention from the monster who may or may not have had one too many drinks. However unable to partake in the drinking, the boys mainly stuck to the food allowing their father some time to enjoy himself.

As the new year started, the family of three said goodbye to Grillby's relatives and went on with their life. Sans and Papyrus went back to school and Grillby resumed his usual job of bartender. The children would come home after school, sometimes Papyrus staying out to play with Undyne, and they'd all go home after Grillby was done for the day. It was relaxing and so normal. For their life for the past year had been everything but. From onlookers, they looked like a normal family, an odd one given the lack of resemblance between parent and children, but a normal family all the same. You couldn't tell Sans suffered from anxiety attacks or that either child had been abused in the past. No one was babied and no one was treated differently. Sans was happy, Papyrus was happy, and Grillby was happy.

By spring, Sans had started to attend Foli's therapy less and less. He now went once ever two weeks unless he needed an extra appointment and Sans saw Kawa once a month to check on his medication. Sans had started to keep track of how many months he had gone without an attack and was proud to announce it was four. To her word, Bonnie had thrown a party to celebrate, inviting far more guests than the small recovery one they had earlier. This was only one of the many parties for Sans and Papyrus both celebrated their first official birthday that spring as well, an event both were excited for.

Papyrus' came first and was practically overwhelming with the amount of small children in Grillby's house. Bonnie took control of the party for the most part, somehow managing to handle the swarm of children while Sans and Grillby often stuck to the corners not wanting to be torn apart by the kids. Papyrus loved it though being a lovely host despite it being his special day. He handed out cake making sure everyone got a piece before he ate his own and would stay alert of his party guests making sure no one felt secluded or alone. Undyne too appeared to be overwhelmed after a while and stuck with Sans in the corner the two of them eating the food Grillby bravely got for them. After presents the party died down and when they all were gone Undyne and Sans offered their own affection and gifts to the birthday skeleton. Papyrus appreciated them doing that, not admitting it out loud, but the attention from his best friend and brother meant far more to him than anything else.

San's birthday was far less chaotic at his request. A few of his school friends came over as well as Kitty and Sans allowed Papyrus to bring Undyne. The guards stopped by like they had on Papyrus' birthday and a few more faces as well. Sans mostly allowed everyone else to dictate his party, Papyrus taking over games and entertainment while Grillby and Bonnie handled food. Sans either sat or stood near his guests talking and enjoying the company. When his friends left Sans relaxed, relieved to have silence and peace back.

As the birthdays passed, summer came and the school year ended. Life went on as normally as it had. Papyrus complained that the summer even went by too quickly when fall had already come. The new school year came and Papyrus' complaints soon vanished with school back in session.

 All in all, the past year had been one of the best ones for everyone. They were happy. Sans was stable and the past was now behind him. He could progress no further in his therapy session and they seemed like they lasted minutes now and involved just idle chatter instead of Sans crying or panicking over something. Still, a thought lingered in the back of his mind. One he often thought of but always needed time to think over. It never felt like the right time to him but now with their life calm and easy, perhaps it was best to ask now.

Grillby and Sans were home alone taking the day off due to a Snowdin holiday that Papyrus complained wasn’t fair. However after Sans reminded Papyrus he got a week off due to the Waterfalls being flooded Papyrus willingly went to school. Grillby was in his room folding laundry when Sans slowly appeared in the doorway. His hand hovered over the door wanting to knock but decided against it. The bartender’s back was him and Sans took in a deep breath and went to shove his hand into his pockets but realized his jacket was in the wash. He frowned at that, so use to shoving his twitching hands in his pockets, most of his expressive gestures now being some form of a shrug.

“Grillby?” Sans called to his father. The flame turned his body to face his child still folding the shirt in his hands.

“Oh, hey. Your jackets still in the wash. Your red on is here, though.” The flame said pulling it out from the pile and holding it out.

“Thanks,” Sans said grabbing the jacket Papyrus got him for his birthday and staring at it in his hands. Grillby returned to folding and Sans took in another deep breath and slid on his jackets feeling better with the familiar weight on his shoulder and place to put his shaking hands. Sans peered up at his father opening his mouth to speak but his voice didn’t come out. Clicking his teeth together, he balled up his hands in his pockets and decided to just ask. “Dad?”

“What do you want?” Grillby asked, used to Sans calling him dad when he wanted something or if he was having a bad day.

“I want to go to the labs.” Grillby’s hand froze around the jeans. He remained still processing what his child had just asked.

“What?” The flame questioned, setting down the pants and facing his child. Sans swallowed down his hesitation and repeating his last sentence.

“I want to go to the labs. Gaster’s labs, the…the labs.” Grillby stared unsure of what to do or say. He ran a hand through his flamed head and leaned against the bed.

“Um…Where did this come from?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”

“How long of a while?”

“…Since we talked about closure in therapy.”

“Hell kid, that was over a year ago!” Grillby exclaimed. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“I…didn’t know if I was ready, or if you were. I-I knew I wasn't. After the files, I knew I wasn't ready and I didn't want to try to push myself even if I thought I could do it. I…was progressing. I was getting better. I didn’t want to ruin that for you guys. Even if I managed to see it I would have been set back. With how everything was at the time, you and Pap were finally happy because I was better and because I wasn’t so unstable anymore and to try to risk that was something I didn’t want to do.”

“So what made you do it now?” The flame asked and Sans sighed.

“Because I’m not unstable anymore. I haven’t even had an attack for almost nine months. The medication is stable and fine. I haven’t heard any voices or had any flashbacks. It’s all gone. I can be alone in the dark and not fear the unknown. I can see the files and not panic. I've learned with Foli how to accept closure and to deal with it. I’ve…grown this past year. I’ve grown and waited so when I finally felt like asking, you and Papyrus would know I was serious. You’d see progress and be here and grow. You’d know that this time I can handle it and you don’t need to worry about what could happen because of it.” Grillby sat down on the bed and resting his head in his hands for a moment to try to clear his head. He raised it moments later running his hands down his face.

“When would you want to go?” Sans seemed shocked by Grillby’s question but quickly recovered.

“Soon like, maybe in a week or so.”

“I’ll have to see if the king and royal scientist are free and willing.”

“I know,” Sans replied and Grillby stared at his child with a firm gaze.

“You sure about this? Recovery doesn’t mean overcoming everything.”

“Do you trust me?” Sans asked and Grillby answered without hesitation.

“Yes.”

“Then yes, I’m sure. A week then?”

“We're calling Foli first. If you are serious we are getting her opinion and doing it her way.” Sans nodded. The flame held his son's gaze waiting for him to waver but he didn't. With a curse, he looked away. “Okay.”

Foli was wary of the proposal as expected. However, with Sans more willing to listen to her she was less hesitant to reject the idea.

“I'm not sure how we could regulate this like we did the file. It's not a thing we can just show and take away or even something we can give little bits of. If you were to go it would most likely be overwhelming, you do see that right Sans?”

“Yeah but I thought maybe not as much. Maybe since we talked about it and helped with the files that this time, I would be able to handle it better.”

“Do you think you could handle it better?”

“I'm not sure.”

“Why are you not?”

“I thought I was with the files but I wasn't. I just don't want to say I am only to find out I'm not.” Foli nodded, understanding her patient's situation.

“What if you got to progress at your own pace? Perhaps first seeing the royal scientist's home then maybe the inside, then the elevator, then if you feel ready the labs themselves. Even possibly taking a trip to the Core to maybe get a similar comparison. I just want you to understand my hesitation Sans. It's not a place you can walk in and out of. The elevator ride down could cause you to panic or seeing the labs could cause something and you have to wait for the elevator to go back up which could cause more panic.” Foli explained trying to get her patient to understand her concern.

“I understand but...I don't know. I don't know what to say or do really. I can't promise anything and I'm not exactly doubting myself either. I think it would be best to go slow like you suggested. And maybe seeing the elevator might scare me off or something and I'll know I'm not ready but I still want to try. I don't want...” Sans sighed and closed her sockets before he took in a deep breath and straightened his spine. “I just want to see it. It's...in a weird way home? It doesn't feel like home and I'd never call it that if I could think of a different name but it's just something I need to see. I feel like I need to see it. Not to overcome it but to-...to make sure that I'm not there. That I'm not who I was. That I'm safe, free. I left afraid. I left without looking back and without knowing that would happen. Every memory in there is bad or bittersweet. A place I was kept with no voice or say. I don't want my last memory of there to be that forever. I want it to be of me now. To be able to leave with confidence and strength. To know that after leaving I'll be leaving that part of me as well. To know that it'll be behind me. To have my final memory be my voice, my thoughts, my actions not influenced by fear. To look back and not see a place I was trapped and kept in but I place I defeated and concord. That despite all that happened, all the pain, sadness, fear, and everything else I came out alive. Not only alive but as a new monster. A monster. Not a subject or an experiment. I'm alive and I matter. I'm a monster and to be able to recognize that in a place where I was nothing more than property...” Sans hand wrapped around his arm pupils resting on the area his marking once was. “It means something to me.” He admitted with a sincere expression. His hand eased on his arm, crossing his arms protectively around himself. “And if you want reassurance or to know that I can promise you something. It's this, I can promise you that no matter what happens, I won't ever forget that.”

Foli inhaled, brushing a few stray leaves off her desk. She looked over at her computer, quickly scanning the basic information she had on her patient before giving a small nod.

“I doubt you really need my permission in order to do this, but if you are willing to take it slow as we did with your files I think you'll be able to manage to see the labs.” Sans perked up.

“Do you have a recommendation on how to go about this like before?” Grillby asked and Foli exhaled loudly, her orange leaves falling off more than usual.

“Well, this is more extreme than the files. Plus, since the labs are only accessible by the elevator there is very little we can do in terms of inching our way to that goal. That part, if Sans is ready and willing, would be heavily dependent on him. I trust you to be able to monitor him and pull him out whenever necessary. You told me Papyrus wasn't too interested in the files but I think having him for this would help Sans greatly.”

“I don't want to force him if he doesn't want to.” Sans voiced and the therapist agreed.

“I know, it's just a recommendation. His presence can perhaps give you a bit more confidence or at least delay an attack if there is one.”

“I haven't had an attack in nine months, almost ten,” Sans pointed out.

“It's not about the number Sans. I am very happy and proud of you for being able to do that. If not, I'd fear I'm not doing my job. It's more about what happens when that number is back down to zero. It can be very discouraging.”

“You just start back over again,” Sans said with a small shrug and Foli smiled.

“I don't know why I worry so much. You hardly even need me anymore. You're far from being the little skeleton I first met.”

“People say that a lot,” Sans grinned and Foli laughed.

“Improvement is never bad.”

“So, do you think I can do this?”

“I'd like to see you for two weeks first, Monday and Friday. After that, I'll leave you in his hands.” The therapist looked at the flame who glanced over at his son. “But remember, this is not-”

“About the result but the journey?” Foli looked confused and Sans chuckled. “Your fiancé says that all the time.”

“I was going to say this is not to be rushed, but I suppose either works. See you Monday?”

“Yep!” Sans smiled standing up and leaving with a wave.

“You know her fiancé?” Grillby asked in confusion.

“He's my history teacher. I told Foli about him because he's covered in flowers like she's covered in leaves and she told me that was her fiancé. I told him, his name's Petlar, and he's nice. He laughs at my jokes.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, I think they are gonna have cute kids. They'll be like little flower bushes.” Grillby snorted at the comment and Sans smiled.

“You should tell Bonnie about that. I'm sure she'd love to talk about babies with you.” Sans scrunched up his face and shook his head.

“Naw, I told her once about relationship stuff and she got all maternal.”

“You're eleven, what relationship stuff are you even talking about?”

“It wasn't even that! I asked her to help me pick out a birthday present for Kitty because I wanted to get her a hair clip and I obviously don't have hair or know what to look for. Then, she got all weird like I was giving her an engagement ring.” Sans explained sounding exhausted.

“She does that. Did you at least get her a nice present?”

“I gave her a book.”

“That is so like you.” Grillby laughed and Sans frowned playfully.

“She likes to read! I got it about flowers too because she likes flowers!”

“Such a charmer.” Grillby snickered and Sans lightly shoved him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the diddle darn deal kiddos. I'm a little salty, there will be 51 chapters instead of 50. Couldn't merge then well. Consider this a 3 part ending. I wanted it to be done by Friday however I am away visiting family. And although they are lovely, we have no wifi and I can't upload without it. Fortunately I had this saved before hand. So if I can't find wifi, update will be Sunday of next week. If I do, probably Monday?
> 
> Thank you all for the support! And sorry for errors. I think there's a part where I call Sans 11 instead of 12 and most likely 2000 errors but hey, I try.


	49. Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two

Sans was feeling a bit more excited and nauseous as each day passed. Foli worked with him on more coping and closure exercises getting him as prepared as possible for the labs as well as talking to Grillby about steps to take. They've decided that this would definitely not be a day long trip. Grillby has called Asgore and Tur to inform them of what Sans wanted to do and neither were opposed to the idea. Tur was a bit flustered at first, being quite busy and not having time to take off in order to tour them around but Grillby assured him that they had a set plan in mind. Sans was to first explore the outside of the royal scientist's home, possibly peering inside but not entering. Secondly, he'd enter and if he was up for it look but not touch the elevator. The third day was Sans looking over the elevator and decide if he was ready. If he was, they'd go down the next day. If Sans was still apprehensive or wanted to prepare himself more, Grillby suggested visiting the Core where Sulfi worked to maybe get a feel for the environment. But, if Sans wasn't ready then they'd go home.

Grillby decided that just in case, he'd call Sans out of school for a week. However, their schedule was hardly important. What was a big factor in all this was Papyrus, who had been kept out of the loop up until now. Grillby and Sans would both be away for most likely over two days if not more. If Papyrus didn't want to come, Grillby needed to find a sitter, most likely Bonnie. If he did he needed to inform his school.

“Do you think he'll come?” Grillby asked Sans who shrugged.

“If he wasn't interested in the file, I don't imagine he'd be interested in this,” Sans replied.

“We need to talk to him about this.”

“Do we even know where we are staying?”

“Asgore offered to pay for a room at the hotel,” Grillby muttered still unsure of the idea. Sans cocked his head to the side looking confused.

“Why don't we just stay with Uncle Flint and Aunt Sulfi?”

“Well for one, I haven't called them yet and didn't plan to until we sorted out Papyrus. Plus, I didn't want to intrude. I don't want to go down and say we are staying for a week only to leave the first day or maybe even stay longer. I'll need to think about it. The hotel is closer to both the lab and the Core.”

“But we might need to ask Aunt Sulfi to take us to work for her anyways,” the skeleton reminded and Grillby sighed.

“We'll just have to see. Let's sort out one issue first.”

“What are you two talking about?” Papyrus asked startling the two.

“I thought you were with Undyne today,” Grillby said as Papyrus pulled off his snowy boots.

“No, she went to go have tea with Asgore,” Papyrus answered hanging up his jacket before stepping closer and pulling himself up into a chair. “So what are you two talking about?” Grillby and Sans shared a look.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” Grillby admitted facing his youngest. “Possibly soon, Sans and I are going to go down to Hotland for a week or maybe two. You don't have to go and Bonnie said she'd be happy to watch over you if you don't want to miss school.”

“Why are you going? Are you going to see your family?” Papyrus asked and Grillby shook his head.

“No, we aren't. Sans wants to-”

“We're going to the labs,” Sans spoke up cutting his guardian off. Papyrus looked at him shocked.

“The labs?”

“Yeah, the labs.” It was silent for a beat.

“I want to go to.” Sans looked surprised before it morphed into concern.

“You don't have to.”

“I want to.”

“Why? You didn't want to get involved before.” Papyrus frowned at that.

“Because it didn't involve me before. I don't remember the files.”

“You don't remember the labs!”

“That's not true! Sure I don't remember the things he did, but I do remember the labs. It's the first memory I have.” Sans looked pained. “You never talked about it in the past and I always had to just pretend it didn't happen. You told us about it with Foli but not like I wanted. I want to see it because it's where we were made, where we met, where we slept, where we lived. I want to know that stuff. I want to see those placed and know for myself and not just from you. Just because I don't care to know about the details doesn't mean I don't care.” Papyrus blurted, offended that Sans didn't think he cared. Papyrus cared, possibly even too much. He just didn't want to know what was in the files. He didn't need those nightmare imagines in his head forever.

Sans looked away, not exactly understanding his brother's logic. Papyrus knew this but also knew Sans wasn't going to fight him on it.

“Alright, I guess that is situated. Do you want me to talk to your teacher for you about the work you'll be missing?” The flame asked and Papyrus shook his head, still watching his brother.

“No, I can do that.”

“Okay, but this isn't a vacation Pap. We aren't going down to have fun. Sans wants to see the labs to get a sense of closure. You know that'll be difficult for him.”

“I know,” Papyrus said, tapping his finger against the table as he glanced over at his father. “But, this also isn't just about him either. I don't want to have to be limited because of him.” Sans looked hurt.

“What's that suppose to mean?” He snapped getting his brother's attention once more.

“I didn't mean it like that. I meant it like before this all happened.” The youngest gestured to the house. “I don't want to have to bite my tongue and hold myself back to try to please you. I want to see it for myself. If we go down I don't want you telling me what to and not to do. I'll be there for you and if you want to leave I will follow and if I push to hard I'll back away but this isn't just about you. I don't want you getting mad if I do something you don't like. I don't want you trying to tell me what to do. We aren't outside anymore.” Papyrus stressed.

“It won't be like before. I'm not scared.” Sans defended but Papyrus looked at him as if exhausted with arguing already.

“But you will be.” Sans opened his mouth to fight back but didn't. “I'm not trying to be hurtful Sans. I don't want it to seem that way. I'm a bit hurt either of you would think or feel the need to remind me of your limitation. I was the first one to deal with them. I'm the one who knows you best and how to take care of you. Just because you haven't had an attack in nine months doesn't mean I forgot. I watched over you. I kept you calm. I kept you happy. I did everything I could to keep you smiling just like you did everything to keep us both safe and alive. I'm even more offended that you two seem to brush aside the fact that it was just as difficult for me to get over that as it was for you. You had to learn to deal with your emotions, and I had to learn to feel mine again. Yeah, I didn't have panic attacks. And yes, I wasn't as bad as you but that doesn't mean either of you can treat me like that again. We don't keep secrets. We are a family!”

“Papyrus we weren't trying to make you feel that way.” Grillby soothed to no avail.

“It feels like it! I don't need to be reminded of what to do. You two need to remember that I'm not Sans' special toy! This place matters to me too. I won't bite my tongue because of that. I am allowed to feel and ask questions. I just wanted you to know that.” Sans watched his brother with a guilty expression.

“I don't want you to hold yourself back. I want you to ask questions and I want you to be there. Not for me, but with me. It's our-...It's the place we grew up in. It wouldn't be fair for me to limit you to a place that's just as much sentimental to me as it is for you.” Papyrus gave a small nod and watched as his brother's mournful expression fell to the table.

“So you are okay if I bother you the entire time?” Papyrus asked, bending down to peer up at his sibling's sunken face. “Like the whole time? Every step?”Sans cracked a small smile.

“I wouldn't expect anything else,” he replied with a more genuine smile that soon grew tense. “As long as you just pay attention, okay?” Sans said with a bit of hesitation. Papyrus just tossed him an empathetic smile and reached over to poke the ribs over his soul.

“I'm the only one who knows what's wrong before you do.” He said, poking him with every word. “I'm going to be so observant you're gonna wish I stayed behind.” Sans let out a small laugh. Papyrus grinned and sat back, kicking his legs happily. “I'm excited!”

“Yeah? Ready to head down memory lane?”

“Nope! I'm ready to make a new one!” Papyrus announced, his joy radiating off of him in a manner Sans found so comforting. “A better one!” He added directing his attention to his brother who relaxed.

“A better one,” He repeated.

And so a plan was set into action. Grillby sent a note to Sans and Papyrus' school granting them a week off. With two suitcases in hand, Papyrus and Sans both carrying their backpack full of schoolwork they needed to do, the three set off.

Grillby decided to just stay at his brother's home after Flint insisted and threatened to drag him from the hotel. Papyrus and Sans were both excited to see the family again up until Sulfi entered her mother mode once realizing they had school work to complete. Fiora laughed her days of forced studying coming to a close. The boys were not use to a mother like figure. Bonnie did act more like an aunt and she was also as laid back as Grillby. Neither one was rather forceful with rules, relying more on trust and good faith than grounding and early bedtimes. With Sulfi acting like a mom, the skeletons clung to Grillby and whined whenever their Aunt Sulfi has entered her maternal state.

“I'm tired!” Sans cried, pushing his history book away.

“Five more questions Sans. That was tonight's homework.” Sulfi said and Sans glared at the book.

“Each question has three parts! That's fifteen questions!”

“It won't get done any faster by complaining. Look, Papyrus is almost done with his spelling. That's very good Papyrus, do you want lunch after this?” Papyrus looked up from his work and nodded with a smile.

“Grillby!” Sans whined.

“Don't go crying to him.” Sulfi scowled.

“What?” Grillby asked, poking his head into the room. 

“Sulfi won't let me nap!” Sans complained.

“He just had a nap and need to finish up the questions.” Sulfi informed the flame. Grillby's flame flickered momentarily before he pointed to the book.

“One question gets you a ten-minute nap.”

“Each one has three parts! Does that mean I get half an hour for doing one?”

“No, answer one and two for half an hour. If you do three I'll let you sleep for a full hour.” Sans grumbled as he turned back to his work.

“Don't be lazy, brother.” Papyrus voiced, holding out his finished worksheet. “Is it hard?”

“No, it's just boring. You learn about the progression of the Underground in like, your grade. I don't know why it's important to study it again just to get a few more details. Like okay, so we left the capital for new space after realizing the better offerings the other locations had to offer. And maybe the Core didn't reach or provide anything to the Ruins so it became a dead zone but what does that matter. No one even lives there anymore.”

“Sans that is literally the answer to questions one and two.” Sulfi pointed out and Sans groaned.

“I could tell you the answer to all of them but I'm just too lazy to write it down!”

“I swear to the surface above...” Sulfi muttered.

The following day both Sulfi and Flint were busy with work and Grillby felt less pressured having to come up with a quick lie as to where he was going. Asgore has requested Grillby be private about the labs but Grillby wasn't the best liar. That added onto Sulfi's knowledge of everything in her town made Grillby's lies seem almost too fake.

“What doctor will he being seeing?” Sulfi asked as she prepared dinner. Grillby tensed, mind drawing a blank. “I bet it's Yugo right? A friend of mine went to him and said he was great. Oh, but another one took their daughter to see Scaltro. She was more troubled, poor girl. Horrible anxiety.”

“Yeah, Scaltro. That's the one.” Grillby said quickly and Sulfi nodded.

“They are great aren't they?”

“Yep! Got recommended right away for Sans.”

“Really? Wow, that's really amazing considering they don't exist and were just made up.” Grillby froze and Sulfi smiled brightly at him, hand stilling in her cutting. “Why don't you go let everyone know dinner will be ready in twenty, alright brother-in-law?”

“Sulfi, don't-”

“Your lies tells me all I need to know Grillby. My lips are sealed.” Sulfi knew people are too well.

Grillby set off with his children to start the process they came to do. Grillby had to direct his children, neither being that familiar with Hotland since it wasn't a location they favored in their time of homelessness. However, approaching the path Sans tensed and Grillby could tell it was familiar. Papyrus too seemed more lost, peering over the cliffs into the lava below with a frown.

“You threw my robe down there,” Papyrus told Sans who clicked his teeth together, pupils darting over to the edge.

“...Yeah.” During his run for freedom, Sans panicked once noticing Papyrus was wearing his hospital gown. His own was abandoned in the labs somewhere but he feared it would be a giveaway. He all but tore it from his body and threw it into the lava, not bothering to stay long enough to watch it be burned. They were naked for a couple weeks after that till they found the dump.

Papyrus leaned away from the edge and trotted to catch up with his family that waited for him. Once a large white building came into view Grillby paused. He stole a glance at his oldest who watched it with a pained expression.

“Is this it?” Papyrus asked and Sans felt both annoyed and relieved by his brother's ignorance. Sans didn't really want to speak or move for that matter but his brother forcing him to do both prevented him from just engulfing himself in thought.

“Not exactly,” Sans answered, taking his brother's hand. He took in a deep breath as he felt his brother's magic rush through him and he exhaled slowly. “It's below.”

“Below?” Papyrus glanced over the edge confused before he recalled the events of the day. “Below.” He repeated with more certainty. “Are we going to go today?”

“No,” Grillby replied almost instantly. “No,” he said in a more calm tone. “We won't be going for a few days. We need to make sure Sans takes this slowly.” Papyrus just nodded, squeezing his brother's hand. Sans held his breath as he took a step forward but froze when the lab's doors opened. Tur exited starting down at the papers in his hands as he mumbled. He glanced up and stopped once spotting them.

“Oh, was that today?” He asked, appearing in a rush. “I'm sorry but I'm going to have to reschedule.”

“Hi!” Papyrus waved and Tur looked him over. He stared, looking lost in thought before something seemed to click into place.

“The other one,” He mumbled. “Papyrus was it?”

“The purple lizard knows my name,” Papyrus whispered to his brother, still waving.

"That's Tur," Sans told his brother.

"The scientist? You told me he was a dinosaur."

"Eh."

“We were just looking is all,” Grillby told Tur who nodded.

“I'm in a bit of a rush. So, sorry I can't stay.” Tur spoke as he walked over to them. “Seems to be an issue with weather control for Snowdin. Fortunately for you three, you came down here. Until this is fixed Snowdin is in for an early winter.”

“Did you ever find the prints?” Sans asked, the conversation helping to distract his nerves.

“No, sadly. However once understanding how to read the knobs and buttons it was easy to sort out. Thank you for that, by the way. I hadn't expected you to change your mind about giving me a translation.” Sans shrugged.

“Translation for what?” Papyrus asked.

“Wingding,” Sans replied.

“ **You know it?** ” Papyrus questioned, looking back over at Tur who glanced back at Sans.

“No, he can only read it like Grillby.”

“Oh.” Papyrus looked less impressed but Tur seemed interested once Papyrus spoke.

“You two really are a pair, huh?” The scientist blurted before he remembered the situation. “Yes, well, I have to go. Feel free to look around and good luck with...this.” He gestured to all of Sans something that would have offended him if he knew Tur was just emotionally inept. “And um, yeah. Most likely I'll be seeing you tomorrow? If I can fix this weather issue, though.”

“Go save Snowdin, doc.” Sans snorted, facing the building once more.

The first day went by nicely. Sans walked around the building and even peered into a small window. Tur returned momentarily to retrieve something and Sans looked inside from the doorway, glancing at the elevator and feeling a sudden chill run down his spine. That had been the end of that day, Sans unable to feel at ease around the place.

The second day went by very similarly. Tur had managed to generously spare some time, temporarily stopping Snowdin's sudden blizzard. He kept himself busy in a way that Sans felt oddly comforting. He wasn't breathing how his neck, watching him, or stalking him as he explored the main area and elevator, without touching anything. Papyrus asked a lot of questions that Tur answered and Grillby for the most part remained silent, only opening his mouth to tell Papyrus not to touch anything. Sans didn't feel at ease in the lab, but he did find himself getting distracted by Tur.

Sans had misjudged the monster. Yes Tur was rude, blunt, and unaware of what emotions were but Sans was wrong to accuse him of being like Gaster. When Grillby had reassured him that Tur was doing nothing evil Sans felt mildly bad for accusing him of suck accusations. Of course Sans still felt he was being a total ass and deserved it keeping him from apologizing. However, as he went through therapy for his file closure, Sans started to feel bad for acting so rudely to him. Sans had sent him a translation sheet for Wingding in the mail when Sulfi called Grillby saying the Core had a gas leak cutting off the two top floors. The following day Sans received a letter with a simple thank you. Tur's bluntness didn't annoy him anymore and if anything he loved to tease the monster about it.

Watching him work, though, Sans felt somehow familiar with the setting. It almost reminded him of when he was younger when Gaster would work while Sans tried to figure out the puzzles he gave him. They both were focused, dedicated, and not menacing. Those moments were one of the few that Sans saw Gaster as anything close to a monster instead of his nightmare. He imagined that was how everyone saw him, just a hard working guy. The difference between Gaster and Tur was that Tur didn't have a secret experiment hiding below. Something that Sans really liked about the guy.

Sans went over to Tur, Grillby rushing over to stop Papyrus from knocking over a beaker. The skeleton stood by him, peering up at his station to look at the large blueprints he was adjusting. Tur side-eyed him, trying to ignore him at first but felt the stare grow more intense.

“Do you need-”

“What are you working on?” Sans asked cutting him off.

“Blueprints.”

“No duh,” Sans said rolling his eyes. “For what?”

“The heating and cooling system is a bit outdated.” Tur pointed to what Sans assumed to be the system Tur was talking about. “It's constantly breaking and since I can't really understand it too well it would be best to try to rebuild it. It's also far to big. It takes up the entire bottom row of the labs which doesn't make sense. I'm trying to rework it so the main heating a cooling are on the sides with the main controls in the middle. With how it is now the ice has to travel all the way to the left here and by then it's practically melted from the heat of the lava that is transported right above it. Gaster was seriously not the brightest with this idea.”

“He was probably focusing on other things,” Sans said nodding over to the elevator.

“Yes well, I could care less what happens to that place. The top priority of a royal scientist is the people and with the Core, as broken as it is, that needs all my attention.” Tur mumbled jotting down some notes on the side. “What I'm puzzled with is the steam output. It could end up clogging the floor or overheat the Core. I fear that one floor won't be enough.” Sans glanced over the notes before he hesitantly reached out and pointed to the bottom area.

“Why don't you go down? You don't care about the labs anyways. If it cuts down at the sides,” Sans grabbed a pencil and circled the area he was talking about, “you can actually save room here. Plus, you are always having a heating problem so you can use the heat of the lower area to help create steam instead of relying on the lava so much.” Tur stared down at the paper with a blank expression. “But that's just my idea. I don't really care too much about the weathering system and it might be more complicated than I'm aware of.” Tur pursed his lips looked away.

“Yes, well obviously your idea would need some tweaking if it were to work.” Sans offered another shrug, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Does this interest you? Science?” Tur asked, erasing Sans' marking and making them smaller.

“I guess so,” Sans replied casually, glancing back at his brother who was not forced to hold Grillby's hand to prevent him from running away.

“I figured, and I hope this isn't wrong of me to assume but, after all, that happened I figured you'd against it.” Tur side-eyes the skeleton and Sans rocked on his heels.

“I suppose you'd be right. But my doctor also told me I shouldn't have been able to leave the labs in the first place yet here I am. I don't see science as a whole to be evil. Just because one monster was crazy doesn't mean that all of science is evil and tainted. There's a lot of stuff out there. Things that I didn't know existed and are now just getting a chance to discover. That plus all this,” he gestured to the room, “the unknown. Things we can't see, don't know about yet, what lies above us and below. Science isn't experiments and torture. It's about discovery.” Sans would never admit it and would always hate Gaster for it, but Gaster was just doing his job. It's why Asgore allowed it. It's why everyone just let it happen. It was cruel, horrific, and would forever haunt Sans never allowing him to ability to see the true science behind it. But, had Sans seen it in any other light, he might have been able to even appreciate Gaster in some weird way.

“You're wiser than some of the scientists working at the Core,” Tur admitted and Sans gave him a small smile. “Does a position here interest you? Not the royal scientist but a scientist?”

“I don't know,” Sans stated bluntly.

“I think you'd do well here. You should look into it.”

“I'll see, I still have time. Plus I'm not really a fan of long term goals. I can't tell you what my plans for next month will be let alone when I graduate. Maybe I'll grow to hate science. Maybe I'll want to be the royal scientist. Maybe I'll want to run a hotdog stand. I don't know. I'm just a kid.” Tur let out a huff of a laugh.

“Indeed you are,” Sans smirked and pushed away from the table.

“Still, know things you don't though.”

“And I to you, unless you know what radio waves, visible light, and x-rays all have the same of in a vacuum?” Tur asked and Sans blinked.

“...Energy?”

“Speed, but nice try. Sound waves cannot carry energy through what?”

“Water?”

“A vacuum.” Sans scowled and Tur pats his skull lightly. “Study up!” Tur smiled before turning his back to the skeleton.

The third day Sans felt conflicted. Being in the elevator made Sans extremely anxious and he knew without Papyrus by him he'd probably leave in an instant. However with Papyrus' eagerness to see the labs, a large part of Sans wanted to go down just to please his brother. He knew better though and confessed his uneasiness. Grillby was happy with that and granted Sans a fourth day to relax and let the events settle in his mind. Grillby had offered to ask Sulfi to visit the labs but Sans didn't know how much good it would do. Still, he accepted and went to work with Sulfi hoping that maybe it would help his indecisiveness.

Sans didn't find it to be very welcoming, though. Sulfi's coworker, Plum, was even more invasive than she was. Her eyes locked onto Sans instantly and was sprinting over to him so quickly Sans actually backed away ready to run. She bombarded Sans with questions desperate to get his opinion on the matter he knew nothing about.

“Oh, my! Sulfi you devil!” She shouted and Sans body was so far back his spine ached. “How dare you keep such a charming little skeleton from me, shame!” Sans warily looked up at Grillby who had been overpowered multiple times by Plum.

“Yes well, Sans was rather shy at first-”

“Never shy my dear! Skeletons are humble and reserved. Did you tell him about your old friend from college? A dear he was, but all of them are! Truly Grillby, you lucked out on the choice of children.”

“Wasn't really a choice,” Grillby said. “There was no way I was going to-”

“But of course! But of course, really Grillby I understand completely. Eyes locked and you had to have them. I know, I know.” Plum let out an obnoxiously high pitched laugh. “So tell me Sans, any abnormal growing issues?”

“Huh?”

“Difficulties with magic? Too much magic?”

“Um, I-”

“More from the mother or father? Oh, what am I saying, of course it's a mother. Softer features, definitely feminine. Any particular types of magic you are fond of or good at?”

“Grillb-”

“Ah but being in Snowdin so much, perhaps you are more favorable to the cooler side of things. Perhaps purple? Blue? I'm leaning more toward that but that could be because you are wearing it, ha ha! No but honestly child, you must tell me more about you I am simply fascinated! For example, what theory did your parents believe in or where they not interested. Most tend not to be but with your curious mind I have no doubt your parents were geniuses! Perhaps they can see the truth in the necromancy theory. Sulfi thinks I'm mad for believing in it. But honestly we all come from somewhere. Your kind with that theory just makes the most sense! Unlike that ridiculous one Doctor Hoft proposed about flame elementals. You hear about the Sulfi? Ridiculous. How is he in our department? Nevermind, I'm sure Polls with have a word with him about that. She believes in my theory, though, she isn't suppose to pick favorites. Ha! She's a lovely dear, truly. Now tell me Sans, why do you think-”

“I have to pee!” Sans shouted silencing the room.

“Pee?” Plum repeated with a baffled expression.

“Pee!” Sans said as he spun around and ran out of the room. Grillby chased after him and the two didn't stop before Sans was hiding in the bathroom.

“Since when do you use the bathroom?” Grillby commented and Sans crumbled to the ground, panting.

“She's crazy.” Sans cried and Grillby snorted. “I can't handle that Grillby. Can we go back to Flint's?” Sans looked up at his guardian with a pleading expression and Grillby smiled pitifully at him.

Needless to say Sans didn't get to see much of the labs. The hallways looked different from the ones he recalled, and even Sulfi's room too. Sans wondered if it as because they were more lively but he couldn't say. Perhaps it was because of the little different or more personal items that were thrown about. Sans knew the real labs would most likely cause him to panic. With Papyrus though, he might be able to at least take a look even if it was spent in the elevator. They still had two days left before they needed to go back and even then, he could always try again some other time.

But he could try. He had to at least try. He wouldn't push himself and if he truly felt unstable he knew he could leave with or without the elevator. He had Grillby's support and the support of his brother with him. As much as his fear begged him to stay away, Sans had to at least try.

The next day, Sans stood in front of the elevator and swallowed. He stepped inside, trembling as he did so. His eyes lingered on the corner he had thrown himself in during his escape, cradling his brother against his ribs. He squeezed Papyrus' hand and pulled him close as he retreated to the familiar corner. Grillby entered and stood next to them followed by Tur. With the swipe of his keycard, the door closed. He pressed the lowest button and the elevator shook as it came to life. Sans flinched, squeezing his brother's hand until it was borderline painful. Grillby noticed Papyrus' brave face despite his brother's dead grip and took Sans' other hand allowing the skeleton to latch onto a stronger force.

The ride down was tense and no one spoke. Tur seemed unease, tapping his foot against the ground a few times before he stopped himself. Sans didn't recall the ride ever being this long before. It seemed to go on forever as if taunting Sans. However when it slowed down his soul was in his throat. When it stilled his body froze. Sans quickly squeezed his eyes shut as the door opened and heard Tur swipe his card to keep them open. More silence took over but Sans felt his brother shift by him, no doubt eager to go explore.

Tur exited, allowing the family some space that Sans needed.

“It looks different,” Papyrus whispered and Sans felt his body begin to unfreeze. He heard nothing and smelt nothing.

“ **L-Like wh-what?** ” Sans stuttered in his first language.

“ **Dustier. Dimmer, a few lights are out not spooky, though. Looks old, abandoned but still white kinda.** ” Papyrus told his brother, shifting to see more. “ **I don't remember much, though.** ” 

“ **Is-Is anything there?** ”

“ **No. It's just us.** ” The younger sibling squeezed his older one's hand reassuringly.

“Sans? Do you want us to go?” Grillby asked and the skeleton took in a few deep breaths before he shook his head. “Do not push yourself.” The flame reminded him, thumb stroking his hand gently.

“I won't,” Sans whispered. “I won't. I won't. I won't.” He chanted, his sockets opening. They peaked open just barely enough for him to see. He looked through the open doors and he felt his entire body shiver. Papyrus latch onto his arm, his magic providing him the internal warmth he craved.

“Are you okay?” Grillby asked watching Sans' body lock up, his hand squeezing his guardian's.

“He's fine,” Papyrus answered watching his brother' soul battle between curiosity and fear. Fear was winning. “ **Happy memories, right?** ” Papyrus reminded him trying to get his brother' attention away from his panic. “ **New ones. Better ones. We aren't the same. You aren't the same.** **Y** **ou are better. You are stronger and brave and can't let him win, right? We can leave here together like before only this time on our own terms.** ” Papyrus truly wanted to explore and was trying to best to get Sans to go along. He knew he wouldn't have to strength to go against his brother's will and if Sans truly wished to leave, he would follow.

“ **Papyrus I'm scared,** ” Sans confessed. Papyrus grabbed his brother's skull and forced their eyes to meet.

“Don't be.” His hands glowed faintly and Sans' eye sparked momentarily as a reaction. “I'm here.” He said calmly. “With you. Safe, happy, free. **And we are going to show him that too.** ” Sans looked back at the labs and Papyrus stole a glance at his soul. It was no longer beating so erratically his anxiety becoming under control. “ **We can do whatever we what. Whatever you want. We aren't bound by rules anymore. You could blast a giant hole in the wall or break a light whatever. Sans, you are free, not from this but from yourself. Be who you are, not who you were told to be.** ” Sans stole a glance back at his brother, pupils fluctuating like his soul.

Free. Whatever he wanted. What did he want? Did that even matter? He had no limitation. No rules. No restrictions. No one was here to yell at him if he was out of line. No one was here to punish him for disobeying. No one was here to hurt him. He wouldn't allow anyone to hurt him. He was tired of being hurt and afraid. Tired of having it control him and consume him. He was scared, terrified. Every part of his body, every last bone wanted to remain frozen but his soul latched onto the idea's Papyrus fed him.

Whatever he wanted. Not bound by rules. Free.

Sans wasn't even aware he had taken a step forward until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, the sudden rupture from his thoughts startling him. He followed the hand back to his father who stared down at him in concern.

“Are you sure?” Grillby asked, looking dimmer than usual. Sans glanced back at the labs that scared him, brother, who stared at him hopefully, then back at his guardian.

The skeleton squeezed his brother's hands, trembling as he clicked his teeth together and shook his head. A nervous and almost painfully sad laugh left him as he tried to form the best smile he could.

“No,” he said but took a step back regardless. “But I doubt I'll ever be," the skeleton admitted honestly.

“You aren't going to push yourself, Sans. Come on, we can try again later.” Grillby carefully nudged Sans closer but the skeleton remained planted where he was.

“Let me try please,” Sans said and Grillby shook his head.

“No Sans, you are going to-”

“Please, I can do it. I'll let you know if I'm overwhelmed. I can do this Dad, please.”

“Sans, I told Foli I would-”

“ _Please_.” Sans stared up at his guardian with pleaded eyes. Grillby started back looking torn. “Please, Grillby.” Sans pleaded, watching his guardian's body fluctuate not daring to break the eye contact. “Dad...”

“Okay,” Grillby caved, breaking the gaze. He was too weak against his children. “But you tell me the second you aren't okay. If not we are leaving, got it?” Sans nodded eagerly and Grillby looked up at the labs and sighed. “I hate this place.” He mumbled and Sans tried to offer the best smile he could.

“I do too, but we can make it better.” He offered but Grillby didn't look pleased.

“You can,” Grillby commented. “I have no connection to this place. I'm here for you two and don't make me regret that. I swear, Papyrus I'm talking to you too. You let me know if he isn't okay, or if both of you are upset. If you lie I will ground you for a year, do not test me on this.” Both children frowned at the threat but nodded. “And stay in my line of sight. Don't go running off, Papyrus.”

“Why single me out?” Papyrus complained.

“You know why and unless you want to be grounded from sleepovers you'll stay where I can see you.” Papyrus pouted and Sans looked amused. “That goes double for you Sans. If I find out you lied I'll take away your library card.” The skeleton looked crushed. “Now, you both still want to do this or do you want to rethink your answer?” Sans and Papyrus shared a look.

“No. I want to see it.” Papyrus said and Grillby nodded looking at his other child.

“Sans? You still want to do this?” He said and the skeleton clicked his teeth together, watching the labs. He turned away and stared at his guardian dead in the eyes.

“Yes.” He answered, stepping over the threshold connecting elevator to the labs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wifi password achieved. 
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely comments! Just one more chapter to go till it over! Well, two for the epilogue but who's being technical right? You folks ready for the end? 
> 
> Here is my [Tumblr](http://keelynoelleart.tumblr.com/) in case you wanna chat it up or ask a question.


	50. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three...

“It's longer than I remember,” Sans muttered, gazing at the many open door frames. He had only recalled being in a handful of them and he wondered if they were all supposed to be filled with different creatures like himself sooner or later. The hallway itself was only around twenty rooms long. The ones closest to the elevators spare rooms Sans had never entered. The hallway itself looked like it needed a good clean. However, other than that it was fine. One light flickered and another had gone out but it did little to dim the bright area. Tur walked ahead of everyone, Sans in the middle with his brother, and Grillby in the rear. Sans felt a shiver run down his body at the sound of his echoing footsteps. It was so empty here. This place was never the liveliest however compared to the dead silence that surrounded them it seemed like a madhouse in the past.

Sans glanced down feeling his shoe yank away from a stick substance. He cringed and stared down at a black stain on the floor. A noise of disapproval left him as he clung to the front of his shirt. He glanced back at the elevator before focusing back on the stain. His pupils followed the path down to the end of the hall where it came out of one room. He swallowed heavily.

“Everything alright?” Grillby asked his child who had stopped.

“Y-Yeah,” Sans replied nervously, stepping over the stain. He hoped none of it got on his shoe.

Sans made his way past each room, stopping to peer inside. The first few were empty but Sans still lingered to stare. They resembled the room the skeletons were kept in but were clearly not their personal one. No one pushed him and no one pressured him along. Papyrus asked a question every now and then but for the most part, it was quiet. It wasn't until they started to enter the room Sans was all too familiar with did he start to feel nervous.

Stepping over a small black stain, Sans entered one of the testing room. The room most training took place in and also the room he met Papyrus in. There were two in total but this was the one Gaster frequently used. The other one, right next door, was smaller and lacked the half of the room divided by a glass wall. Sans had used the other testing room frequently as a child, the close quarters provided a more intimate and up-close environment more suited for learning than training.

Sans inched his way inside, pupils scanning the first part of it. It had a familiar operating table in it, a desk Gaster sat at earlier on when he was watching them, and some cabinets for storage. Sans took in a deep breath and advanced forward taking in every angle. He subconsciously followed the path he had always when with Gaster, stopping right in front of the hook he'd hang his gown on. He stared at the hook, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

While focusing on the metal hook, he stepped forward and bumped into the table Gaster often used to hold his equipment on. Sans always hated that table for it as far too flimsy. Sans felt as if Gaster had kept it around just to kept Sans in line. It had wheels on the bottom making it travel more than he meant it to whenever he collided into it. That, added to the flimsy and loud metal it was made out of, always sounded more like Sans had knocked into a garbage can rather than bump into a table. The sound always amplified in the empty room too but then again, every sound did.

Sans flinched as the table scooted away, scaring himself. He clutched at his soul, pupils narrowing as he watched it roll away and stop. He stood frozen in place before relaxing. Gaster was always furious whenever Sans stumbled into it, often resulting in Sans getting injured as punishment for his stupidity. His pupils shot up to the counter where Gaster would be but nothing was there. No one to shout at him. Sans let out a nervous laugh. He felt relieved oddly, and even a bit giddy at the revelation he could do all the things he had never been able to even dream of doing before.

Papyrus appeared behind the operation table and looked over at the stand Sans bumped into. He went over to it and gently pushed it back over to Sans. The older skeleton wrapped his hand around it before aggressively shoving it against the wall knocking it over and startling his brother. Sans laughed, soul racing in both fear and excitement. 

“I use to get in so much trouble for bumping into that,” Sans admitted. Sans went over to the cabinets and flung open the doors. “I was never able to open these,” Sans said, reaching inside. It was nothing but bandages, medical supplies, and some hospital gowns but Sans grabbed two massive handfuls of them and threw them onto the floor. He giggled, grabbed the entire bag of bandages and throwing it onto the ground.

“Um, what exactly is he doing?” Tur asked Grillby who watched his child in confusion.

“I got in so much trouble for making a mess!” Sans accidentally shouted, his spike of energy making his decisions a bit impulsive.

“I mean, I'd still prefer it if you didn't.” Tur voiced as Sans opened another cabinet using his magic to remove the content of the ones he couldn't reach. Papyrus knelt down and picked up one of the hospital gowns Sans threw. He recalled his own that Sans made him throw into the lava and frowned. It was rougher than he remembered and far thinner too. The labs weren't freezing, but wearing nothing but this made him shiver.

“Pap what are you looking at?” Sans demanded, halting in his destruction. Catching sight of the hospital gown his adrenaline slowed, smile faltering.

“It's itchier than I remember,” Papyrus answered, fingers feeling around the fabric. Sans dropped the handful of gauze and went over to his brother. He reached out for the fabric and ran his hands over it. His calmness returned to him as he held it up, looking the clothing over.

“It is, isn't it?” He mumbled. He dropped it, lifting his head to stare at the glass wall that connected to the testing rooms. The skeleton stepped on the gown as he walked over to it, resting his hand against the glass.

A white room, like all the others but with nothing inside, not even a plug in the wall. There were marking on the walls, floors, and a few cracks in the glass itself. Sans tried to recall the reason behind most of them but they blurred together. He inched closer to the door before stepping in, glancing back to ensure it wouldn't close behind him. Grillby stepped over and stood in front of the door reassuring his child that the door would remain open. Papyrus trailed after his brother. Sans went around, fingers tracing against scorch marks, dents, and scratches.

“Sans?” Papyrus asked.

“You made this mark.” Sans tapped his finger against a scratch on the wall.

“Did I?” Papyrus questioned and Sans nodded.

“Your magic fluctuated a lot as a toddler. You tried to summon a bone and it was stronger than you could handle. It shot out and scratched the wall and hit me on the head.” Papyrus frowned but Sans didn't seem to be bothered by the memory. “I think you made that one too.” Sans pointed to the scorch mark on the roof. “Summoning your first blaster.”

“I could do that?” Sans nodded, not looking lost in thought like Papyrus thought he'd be. Sans seemed alert which he found interesting. Sans was always so easily distracted and often got carried away in his own thoughts that Papyrus figured he'd need to hold his brother's hand the entire time. Watching him, though, Sans hadn't spaced out once.

“What else happened here?” Papyrus found himself asking and his brother glanced around the room.

“We met here.”

“This where we met?” The younger one gasped and Sans nodded looking over the empty room. He stopped and faced the spot where he first saw his brother, recalling the memory vividly.

“You were over here.” Sans stepped across the room taking Papyrus with him. “You were little. The smallest thing ever.” Sans said fondly rubbing on the ground. “I really didn't know what to make of you at first. I hadn't met someone before. You were asleep at first but when you woke up you were even better than I could have imagined. You cried at first, probably scared. But then our souls started to respond and you calmed down and you smiled.” Sans' own smile found it's way onto his face and Papyrus knelt down next to him. “You liked to hold my hand and would always cry when I had to leave.” Papyrus glanced down at his brother's hand that trembled slightly. He laced their fingers together and squeezed his brother's hand. “Your soul was the prettiest thing I had ever seen,” Sans mumbled for the first time looking lost in the past.

“I bet I thought yours was too.” Papyrus voiced, bringing his brother back.

“Heh, probably back then,” Sans huffed. Sans' soul now wasn't as weak as it once was but still far behind in its development. When Papyrus first saw his soul it was most likely ten times better than the one he had now.

“I still think it's pretty now.” Sans glanced over at his brother and smiled, leaning against him.

“And you're still the brightest thing down here and up above.” He said gently, his teeth clicking against his brother's skull in a kiss.

The two lingered in the room a few minutes more. Sans told a few happy stories at Papyrus' request and even brought up some of his own. The happy memories were scarce and got even scarcer as the rooms went on. He'd enjoy the ones here as best as he could knowing they would be short lived.

Sans and Papyrus eventually sat up and went over to the exit. With a final glance at the room, Sans allowed himself to be directed onward. He stopped by the other testing room though it didn't feel as familiar as he would have thought. Gaster always took the items he gave to Sans leaving nothing in the room except for dust. There was a table in the corner that was once in the middle of the room. Sans went over to it and looked over the chair he always sat in. It didn't seem so large to him now having grown a fair amount. He looked over the edges of it, noting the chips and dents he'd cause by nervously scraping against it. His index finger trailed over it.

“This was my chair,” Sans told his brother, feeling his presence behind him. Sans pulled himself up into it, taking his usual position. His hand went for the sides, lightly scrapping it like he always had.

“You don't do that at home,” Papyrus commented and Sans stilled in his scrapping.

“I suppose I don't,” Sans replied, never thinking of that before. In here, Sans fingers had dug into any surfaced given. He had very little to play and toy with, offering nothing to settling his constant panic and nerves. However, outside Sans had discovered baggy clothes and other ways to express his apprehension and anxiety.

“What did you do in here?” Papyrus asked and Sans removed his hands from his chair and laid them on the table.

“Testing I guess. I was in here a lot before you came around. I'd do puzzles, learn, simple things to test my intelligence and things like that. See what I was capable of doing mentally.”

“Was I ever in here?” Sans teeth clicked together.

“No. Not that I'm aware of.” Sans frowned down at the table before he pushed away from it and got off his chair. “I was always excited to see you, though. He got me to work faster by letting me see you if I did well.” Papyrus hummed, seeming disinterested in the room.

The two didn't linger as long in this one, Sans not having much to say about it. Instead, they carried on until Tur stopped in front of the next room and Sans poked his head in. Spotting the familiar operation table with straps, briefcase, and his gown still on the hook Sans clicked his teeth together. The operation room. He hated this room. He hated every room, but this one he hated the most. Eyeing the case Sans felt himself begin to tremble and knew entering would push himself too far. All information would most likely be gone anyways, Tur seemed to be quite thorough in his clean up. Sans also knew any trace of determination would be long gone. Seeing the inside of the case would do nothing but cause panic. The entire room was nothing but torture and without even a step inside, he moved along.

“Er, do you not want to-”

“No,” Sans answered cutting Tur off. When Papyrus' grip loosened Sans halted and found his brother entering the room. “Pap,” Sans called but the skeleton ignored him. Sans stood, fists clenching and unclenching by his side. “Papyrus,” Sans said again not wanting to linger any more than he already had.

Papyrus had other plans and went right into the room without hesitation. He marched right up to the hook, ignoring the path Sans knew to follow. He reached up and yanked Sans' old gown off the hook and looked it over. Sans' face scrunched up.

“It's so small,” Papyrus commented comparing it to his own body. Sans cringed at the sight, magic encasing the fabric but Papyrus grabbed it and held on. “No.” He said firmly and Sans grumbled.

“Stop messing with it.”

“Don't control me. You are fine. Look away.” Sans growled but did as his brother asked.

“Why do you care so much about it? There are hundreds in the cabinet.” Sans wondered.

“Because this one was yours right?” Sans didn't respond. “It looks small, even for back then.”

“Because it was. They were the same size. Why would he care about whether or not it fit? We just needed to be covered.”

“But why even bother if we always took it off?”

“I don't know! Why don't you go ask him about it!” Sans shouted and Papyrus glared.

“Stop it.” He demanded the gown balled up in his fist. “Do not yell at me,” Papyrus told his brother. Sans let out a noise of frustration and swiftly kicked the wall before he rested against it, scowling.

“Sans,” Grillby tried, offering his hand but Sans leaned away from it. “Papyrus,” Grillby called. “Can you please-”

“He's fine! He's not the boss of me. He can't get his way because he's angry. I just want to look at his stupid robe!”

“If it's so stupid why do you care so much about it?!” Sans barked facing his brother.

“Because I can! Because I can do what I want!” Papyrus replied in just as harsh of a tone.

“You are such-” Sans held himself back, the two sharing an intense gaze. Papyrus let his gaze fall to Sans soul before returning to his eyes. Sans was upset. Not unstable, but quite mad. If Papyrus didn't calm him down they'd be forced to leave. As much as he didn't want to give in, he knew Sans wasn't going to.

“ **Calm down** ,” Papyrus told his brother.

“ **Stop looking at my soul.** ”

“ **Then calm down before you get us both kicked out of here.** ” Sans glare hardened but his soul began to return to normal.

“You going to bring that home with you as a souvenir?” Sans mocked and Papyrus frowned.

“I'll do whatever I want with it, you stupid jerk face,” Papyrus spat and with a sharp tug, Papyrus ripped the robe in half. Sans looked confused and he watched his brother rip the cloth before throwing it on the ground. “There, you got your way. Happy? Just like old time. I thought this was about making new memories, not reliving old ones.” Papyrus stepped on the robe as he exited the room. Sans quickly grabbed him and Papyrus stared at him. “What do you-”

“I'm sorry,” Sans said, expression guilty. Papyrus hated that his temper had to make Sans feel this way. It wasn't fair for him to assume that. He knew Sans would apologize once he calmed down but the apology felt so forced now. With so many rooms left Papyrus knew it wouldn't last.

“It's okay,” Papyrus said knowing his brother all too well. He'd try to explain himself.

“No, it's not. I just got upset. I don't like this room and seeing you with the robes made me so uncomfortable.”

He'd then apologize again, wanting to make Papyrus know how sorry he was.

“I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this. I don't want you to feel limited. I'm sorry I'm still controlling. I don't want to be. I know you can handle yourself. I'm sorry for making you upset.”

Lastly, he'd offer to do something to make Papyrus happy.

“Do you want to keep the robe? You can or we can get you a new one. Whatever you want.”

Papyrus knew his brother all too well.

“It's okay,” Papyrus said, unable to hide all of his exhaustion. “Let's move on, okay?” He said forcing a smile. Sans didn't point it out though, which he was grateful for.

“May I asked a question?” Tur asked surprising the group. “It's in relation to this room so if you don't feel comfortable answering it-”

“What about it?” Sans asked, his sincere and guilty expressions vanishing when looking at Tur.

 “The case.” Sans tensed.

“What about it?” Sans repeated in a more tense tone.

“I was unable to open it. I was curious if you knew how to.” Sans expression went blank.

“You want it opened?”

“If-er...If that wouldn't be a problem?”

“No. Not a problem.” Sans stood in the doorway but didn't step in. He extended out his hand, blinking once before his eye was encased with magic. Five blasters spawned in front of him all pointed at the case. Without a moment of hesitation, he fired and blew a large chunk of counter off, launching the case against the wall by the force of the blast. The beams fired down relentlessly until Sans had melted the case and scorched half the room. The blaster vanished leaving behind a charred room and pile of warped metals that was once the briefcase. Clenching his fist, Sans eyed the table he had been strapped to so many times. His arm raised and a bone wall shot up and ripped the table from the ground, smashing it against the ceiling. He disbursed his magic staring at the table in the ceiling. Sans encased the destroyed case with magic and brought it under the table that was in the roof. Metal creaked and groaned as the table slowly wedged itself free and bashed into the ground on top of the case. The room trembled with the collision, dust and derby flying in the air and lingering as the room settled. The case lay a few feet away, in two pieces and utterly unrecognizable. Sans took a deep breath and released it facing turn with a calm demeanor.

“It's open,” Sans told the doctor who looked horrified. He stepped inside taking in the ruined room and looking so defeated. He exhaled loudly and glanced down at the case. Tur advanced forward, nudging the case with his foot. He bent down gently used his claw to pluck out a small piece of metal and examine it.

“...A needle?” He glanced back at Sans. “He carried them around in a case? Isn't that a bit excessive?”

“Not when they are filled with determination.” Tur's expression hardened. He dropped the needle instantly and Sans turned his back to him. “Glad to know you are still as stupid as before,” Sans added walking away. “Your stupidity is reassuring.”

“I'd prefer it if you reframed from destroying any other rooms please,” Tur asked politely as a chunk of ceiling fell onto the ground in the operation room. “This place may no longer be in use but it is below my home.”

“As if Gaster would build such a flimsy place,” Sans mumbled to himself as he peered into an unfamiliar room before passing it.

“This place is bigger than I remember,” Papyrus said to his brother and Sans hummed.

“I think it's smaller,” Sans admitted, “much, much smaller.” His hand brushed against the next doorway and looked inside.

“You remember more than me so I suppose you're right. We kinda left in a hurry and I don't recall-Sans?” Papyrus halted when he noticed Sans was no longer following him. The skeleton stood gazing into the room before him. Papyrus noticed it was the only one without lights on making it seem far more ominous. He stepped closer but felt a hand on his shoulder. His head snapped up to find his father beside him though his attention was directed to his eldest child. His mouth was pressed into a firm line, flame flickering but low as he dared to glance into the dark room and at the broken machine in the far corner.

Sans was in a trance, pupils glued to the machine across the room. His shadow cast over it, the open doorway he stood in being the only source of light. Without thinking, he stepped closer. One foot after another, he slowly made his way into the room his hands clutching the fabric of his shirt. He stopped in front of the large machine and stared up at it. The door was dangling by a thread but was wide open revealing an empty metal inside. It was not the black emptiness Sans recalled but instead stained, warped, and metallic. He lifted his foot and stepped inside, his eye illuminating to grant him light. Once inside he stood still, staring at the inner-workings of the machine. It was flat, plain metal and nothing more. There were black stains and rust but no knobs or dials. Sans' fingers uncurled from his shirt and reached out to gently brushing against the metal. He winced but did not back away. He pressing his palm against it and curled his hand into a fist, knocking against it as to prove it's stability.

Solid. No portal. No void. No exit for Gaster.

Releasing the breath he wasn't aware he was holding, Sans stepped out and surveyed the rest of the room. Grillby and Papyrus stood in the doorway, Papyrus seeming more curious than Grillby. Sans stepped around, carefully avoiding the derby littering the floor. The explosion had done a number on this room. Roof panels were gone revealing the metal shell of the labs. Electrical wires dangling from the holes and from the machine no longer able to produce the power to operate anything. The glass room on the other side was shattered but nothing was inside of it but dust. Dust, ash, and chunks of the room littered every inch of the place. Sans couldn't take a step without his shoe crunching on something. Walls had massive black marks on them making the light coming off of the white walls gone. Had the door not cast any Sans would be in darkness. His eyes landed on the black splotches on the floor. He clicked his teeth together avoiding stepping in it. The skeleton crouched down next to one he had stepped on in the past leaving his foot imprint on the floor. He felt his expression soften at how small it was. He hadn't grown that much, but for some reason, it appeared smaller than normal to him. Maybe because it was, he didn't know. Sans followed the trail to a large black stain he vividly recalled making, throwing up uncontrollably after before launched from the machine. His hand prints were here and he found himself comparing them. Perhaps he had grown more than he realized. His hands now were almost a full digit almost two larger than they once were.

A shadow cast over him and Sans glanced up to find Papyrus standing beside him. His brother stared at the stain and the prints before looking at his brother.

“Is this where you ran from?” Sans nodded looking up at the machine. “Is that machine the one you fell into?” Another nod. “The one Gaster fell into?”

“Yeah.” Papyrus took in a deep breath glancing around. He tried to touch the black substance but Sans grabbed his hand, expression dark. Papyrus kept his hands to himself using his feet to kick over or examine things.

The room bothered him. It gave off such an eerie and ominous vibe that he felt unsafe. Seeing the prints of his brother hadn't made Papyrus reminisce like the other items had. Instead, they made him feel sad and frightened. The room was destroyed and signs of his brother's distress from so long ago were quite visible. Papyrus expected Sans to be disturbed by the room but staring at his soul Papyrus found he was just conflicted. Was Papyrus thinking of this room in a different light? Was he missing something? During all of Sans' therapy session, this was always the hardest part for him. So clearly it was the worst, right?

“Do you like this room?” Papyrus asked. Sans was taken back by the question.

“I'm indifferent to it. I don't have the best memories of it.”

Did he? Papyrus knew this was the room Sans had to decide to fight or die in. The room he came to the conclusion to revolt which ended with him halfway in the machine and Gaster dying. But, was that all this room was? The room Gaster died in. The room Sans experienced the void in. The room Sans fought in.

Fought...For him. For them.

“I think you do,” Papyrus said and Sans frowned.

 “What are you talking about?” Sans fought for them. Sans saved them.

“This is the room you got our freedom in.” Sans frown vanished. “The room you fought for us in. The room you almost sacrificed yourself to protect me in. The room that freed us.” Papyrus looked down at his brother with a smile he tried to make genuine but was clearly still forced. “I think you have great memories of it. You-We just haven't been thinking about them the right way.” Papyrus offered his hand and Sans took it staring at his brother like a fool.

“We?”

“It's not a nice room. I don't like it. It's dark, dusty, and had a very unpleasant vibe in it. But,” Papyrus stepped over the dried footprint his brother left years ago, “it's where you took your first step.”

Papyrus jumped when he felt himself be pulled into a forceful hug. He felt Sans tighten his arms around his neck.

“Thanks,” Sans muttered, burying his face in his brother's neck. Papyrus smiled gently, wrapping his own arms around his sibling.

Grillby entered, giving the room light as he advanced forward. He placed a hand on his children's backs getting their attention. They looked up at him and he offered a smile, steering them out of the room. They willingly went, the skeletons now holding one another's hand

“Are you alright?” Grillby asked his children.

“Are you?” Sans countered.

“This isn't about me, but yes I'm fine. Are you? We can leave and come back.” Grillby glanced back at Tur who was frowning as he stared at the room Sans ruined. “Possibly.”

“There's only one room left,” Sans said, squeezing his brother's hand. “And it wouldn't be fair for Pap to miss the only room he remembers.” Papyrus smiled and he followed the black trail Sans left to their old room. Their grip loosened until they no longer held on. Papyrus entered and Sans lingered in the doorway.

Their room. White, empty, and small. The roof, walls, and floor all had markings on them from years of activity. Sans recalled his old habits, digging and tracing the walls and floors until his fingers began to make grooves in them. He would sometimes use bones when his hands were sore. He had also used bones and blasters to try break down the door or bust a hole somewhere. After being punished, Sans had never tried to escape again.

“Was it always this small?” Papyrus asked and Sans swallowed down his nerves.

“Ten steps from the door.” He said taking the first one in. “Six across,” he mumbled stepping over to the wall.

“Did you make all these?” The youngest ran his hand over a scorch mark and Sans followed his movement but with a different one.

“Yeah.” Dents, scrapes, scorch marks, so many marking. Sans had been so anxious, so afraid. He needed a way to distract himself and realizing he wouldn't be punished for small markings Sans began making them frequently.

“Is this where we sat?” Papyrus pointed to the undamaged corner. “I was here when the alarms rang.”

“Where we cowered,” Sans murmured, pressing his hand against the dent. He turned around and found Papyrus sitting in their corner and Sans felt oddly uncomfortable. “Pap, come one don't do that. It's weird.”

“Not very comfortable,” Papyrus said as he shuffled around. “A pillow would be nice.”

“We didn't have pillows,” Sans said and Papyrus huffed.

“I know that. I was just saying.”

“Papyrus stop sitting there,” Sans repeated his nerves growing, body tensing.

“Why? You got to do whatever you wanted here. Why can't I sit in the only place I remember?” Papyrus frowned watching his brother closely.

“Because you-you-you just can't!” Sans snapped, trembling as he watched Papyrus just sit there. In their spot. Where they cried. Where they cowered. Where they held each other, broken and hopeless.

“Do you want to sit with me?” Sans stiffened.

“NO!” He shouted. Papyrus glanced down at his brother's soul noticing he was only angry. He knew Sans would do this again.

“Papyrus,” Grillby called, “move or we leave.” Papyrus scowled.

“You let Sans destroying two room and didn't yell at him! I sit on one corner and I get in trouble? Sans can just leave if he doesn't like it!” Papyrus barked, crossing his arms.

“You don't understand!” Sans roared and Papyrus glared at him.

“I understand it perfectly! You're afraid! You are scared! You don't like me sitting here because it reminds you of the past. How this corner was the corner we sat in most likely very sad and afraid. But you, brother, came down here to no longer be afraid of it! To leave with a fresh start. Don't yell at me just because I'm not afraid to sit in a corner we once cowered in!”

“I'm not afraid to sit there!” Sans shouted in defense of himself. Papyrus was so ignorant at times! He wasn't afraid he was just...just...

“Then sit with me!”

“No, because this is stupid!”

“Because you're scared!”

“I am not!” Sans shouted his emotions fluctuating and creating a frustrating cocktail inside of his body. Papyrus could see it but was far too fed up to deal with it.

“Look scared to me.” Papyrus taunted and Sans growled.

“And you look like a spoiled brat!”

“That's real funny coming from you, Sans! You won't even let me sit in a corner!”

“Because you-”

“Because _you_ just keep trying to control me. You can't boss me around! I'll do whatever I want whenever I want and if you don't like it then leave!”

“Stop shouting at me!”

“You started it!”

“If you would just listen to me we wouldn't be arguing in the first place!”

“You aren't even listening to me you selfish jerk!” Papyrus screamed.

“Why would I listen to someone who doesn't listen to me?!” Papyrus shot up and shoved his brother. Sans stumbled back and glared before shoving Papyrus back. The younger had been expecting it though and stood his ground. This frustrated Sans and he revved up for another more forceful shove but his arm was grabbed.

“Stop fighting both of you!” Grillby demanded, standing between them. The air was tense, the skeletons gazes locked on one another. “We are leaving now.” Papyrus glared harder.

“ **Great going, Sans.** ”

“ **If you would have listened this wouldn't have happened!** ”

“Stop it,” Grillby ordered but neither skeleton paid him any mind.

“ **If you would have let me sit in the corner instead of being a selfish,** **thick-headed, butthead we wouldn't be here. This all happened because you got mad I was sitting in the corner that you were afraid of, you big chicken!** ”

“ **I'm not afraid of it!** ”

“ **Yeah sure.** ”

“ **Papyrus.** ”

“ **Don't talk to me.** ” Papyrus turned his back to his brother and Sans grip tightened on his pants. He yanked his hand free from Grillby and stormed over to his brother.

“FINE! I'll sit in the stupid corner because you are a big spoiled bonehead who has to get everything he wants!” Sans sat down alone for a minute before he grabbed his brother's wrist and pulled him down next to him. “There, you happy you, jerk?” Papyrus just curled up and rested his head on his crossed arms.

“Like you care.” He pouted.

“You're right I don't!” Sans grumbled, bones trembling lightly in what he thought was anger.

“Good neither do I!”

“Great!”

“Great!”

Silence. Papyrus and Sans sat right next to one another, bodies curled up and facing away. It felt like a wall was between them and the tension soon caused them both to begin to crack. Sans continued to shake blaming it on his anger.

“This what you wanted?” Sans mumbled and Papyrus buried himself deeper in his arms.

“No,” Papyrus said in a sad voice. “Are you mad?” Sans clicked his teeth together and looked away, his anger quickly fading to tears that he tried to hide. Still, he trembled. Why? Was he angry? Was he upset? Was...Was he scared?

“...No.” He mumbled. The two were silent once more, both struggling to fight away their tears. Afraid. Sans was afraid. Of what, he wasn't sure. This room had him nervous, this corner caused him to panic, and seeing Papyrus in it had terrified him. They were free, they were happy. So why was he sitting there like he wasn't? Why did he willing sit in their spot?

“I'm sorry I said you were afraid,” Papyrus whispered, “and that I pushed you.” Sans didn't deserve the apology. Papyrus had been right.

“I'm sorry I called you spoiled,” Sans apologized as his fingers curled around the fabric of his jacket, “and for being a bad brother.” Papyrus spun around and Sans tried to turn away as his tears began to fall but he wasn't quick enough.

“You aren't a bad brother!” Papyrus defended, his own tears trickling down his cheeks.

“I'm a horrible brother.” Sans sobbed, shouldering shaking. “You were always right. You are always right.” Sans cried, feeling completely overtaken with grief. “You were right about getting out. You were right about Grillby. You were right about me. I'm just a jerk. I'm just afraid.”

“I was just upset. I didn't mean what I said! You are so amazing and great and the best brother in the entire world.” Papyrus latched onto his sibling, pulling him into a tight embrace. “You always knew what to do. You always made the best choices for us. I just followed. You aren't the bad one I am.”

“No, you aren't!” Sans shouted.

“Well, neither are you!” Papyrus shot back. The two stared at one another's stained faces. Sans' pupils began to waver, fresh tears spilling as he let out a loud wail clinging onto his brother.

Exhaustion. This trip had reached its end and so had he. His emotions were fried and overworked completely overwhelming Sans. His happiness, anger, fear, anxiety, they all faded into tears. Sans had cried a lot since leaving the labs but right now it felt as if he was shedding every tear he held back while in them. Every operation, test, experiment, everything fresh in his mind. Reminding him that he had to be strong for his brother, fight through it, never give up, keep a brave face but no longer.

Two years ago Sans and Papyrus would be in the exact same position. Clinging onto the other for dear life as they sobbed and wailed. The only difference now was that it wasn't out of fear. It was out of so many other things but not fear. Their days of being afraid were gone. What had haunted Sans was gone. The shell remained but nothing else.

And knowing that, Sans felt like he couldn't stop crying. It was gone, he always knew that. He had seen it end, freed his brother and himself, watched as the world forgot and progressed as if nothing had happened. But here, in the room he once was trapped in, it drove home harder than it ever had before.

Papyrus' sobs wore down eventually but Sans continued for what felt like hours. Grillby approached them slowly, kneeling down in front of them and Sans bit back a sob for only a minute before throwing himself at his guardian and resuming his uncontrollable tears.

Laying there in Grillby's arm with his brother by his side, Sans was almost certain it was a dream. The corner that shared too many sleepless nights, tears, and witnessed so much pain now held him and his family. The memories of being dragged from the corner were quickly replaced with Grillby's outstretched hand and patient smile waiting for Sans to take the first step instead of forcing him to. The memories of Papyrus and Sans crying into one another were replaced with their ones of laughter as Grillby tickled their ribs. The nights of trembling wide awake awaiting tomorrow's unknown horrors replaced with the warm of Grillby's burning flame as they all cuddled on the couch during Snowdin's blizzards. Memories that haunted him were all being wiped clean and substituted for new ones, ones that he had made. Ones where he laughed, smiled, ate, slept, lived. Ones where Sans was free to not only do what he wanted but be whomever he wanted.

Sans. Sans the skeleton. Sans, brother of Papyrus. Sans, son to Grillby. Sans, nephew to Sulfi and Flint. Sans, the little skeleton monster who lived with is brother and father in a quaint little house in Snowdin. Sans. Always just Sans.

His tears eventually died down and Sans was slumped against his father utterly exhausted. Grillby lifted him slightly, causing Sans to wrap his arm around his neck and the flame rose to his feet. The warm arms around him, holding his close was far too comforting and Sans struggled to keep his eyes open. Feeling his body move as Grillby walked Sans knew his moments of being in the labs were coming to a close.

Sans opened his tired sockets to stare back at long hallway. He wasn't sure if it would be the final time seeing them. He had no future plans to ever return but if Sans could count on one thing, it was that the future is and will always be unknown. The future was something he didn't think about often in the labs or out of them. Days were meant to be lived day by day. The future never existed or at least was something far too terrifying to even think of in the labs. Sans couldn't figure out what was going to happen to him the next day, he couldn't even begin to comprehend a month or a year. Now, Sans still didn't know. He had to finish school he knew that much. But after? He didn't care or really want to know. Maybe he'd be a bum living on Grillby's couch forever. Maybe he'd go to a university and make a name for himself. He didn't know but that hardly mattered to him. No, what mattered was the fact that he had a choice at all.

Two years ago he had none. He was here, in the labs. No one knew he existed and no one would save him. Each day was spent filled with fear and pain only to have a night full of even scarier dreams. Sans wasn't aware freedom existed and had never even considered it an option. Gaster broke that spirit early on.

Two years ago, if someone were to tell him he'd have a home, a family, freedom, he probably would have cried and told them that was the cruelest thing anyone had ever taunted him with, and it showed too. The first weeks, even months of living with Grillby Sans tried his best to find the bad in every situation. He lacked trust in the flame, hated him, fought him, hurt him, destroyed his property. Sans refused his gifts and judged every one of his actions as if it was some test. As if Grillby was Gaster.

Gaster, a man who had driven Sans to insanity. Years of torture and abuse had ruined him. Sans relied on medication to function and would forever be emotionally and mentally scarred from the horrific travesties he had endured here. Every needle, every broken bone, every word ever uttered to him. Sans blamed himself for so long. He had been convinced it was his fault. He was at fault. He didn't work hard enough. He didn't try hard enough. He wasn't paying attention. He didn't listen. He. Him. Sans. Sans' fault. Always his, even though it wasn't.

But despite it all, Sans freed himself. Sans freed his brother.

His brother, Papyrus. Sans gave him a second chance. His broken and forgotten brother would forever linger in his mind in an eternal battle of blame but the one before him grown far more than he did. Always kind and always bright, but far too self-sacrificing and trusting. Sans had abused that and Grillby had too. Secret after secret, lie after lie, Papyrus smiled and endured the treachery knowing and believing that Sans would come to him one day. He believed that it didn't matter that Sans didn't trust him, but it did and it showed. He showed it when he had endured enough and demanded answers. Answers he was not expecting and maybe might have not wanted to know. He knew them now though, he knew all his brother's secrets. Sans wasn't afraid to tell him now. He wasn't kept him the dark anymore. He wasn't treated like the child. And he in return, didn't allow himself to be either. No, Papyrus stood his ground. He had feelings and was allowed to feel and express them. He wasn't everyone's happy child. He wasn't everyone's golden angel. He couldn't be happy forever nor could he prevent himself from feeling because of that. Papyrus was allowed to be upset. He will shout and scream when he is angry. He will cry when he is sad. He'd confront his problems and not only allow others to help him, but if need be, take care of it himself. No bully would bother him. No secret go unheard. No emotion pushed aside.

Papyrus no longer needed Sans' protection and was far from being the skeleton he remembered but then again neither was he. Sans had grown so much he didn't even feel like the same monster. Fear was not a part of his daily life which changed him monumentally. Fear had once driven him, controlled him, motivated him. Fear was what Sans knew and trusted. Sans was a machine. He took orders, he obeyed, he was silent. If not, punishment followed. That was what Sans had lived with and knew. But a door opened up and showed him that he had a choice. His voice mattered. His actions were his own. He himself was not a thing but a being. A being, a monster, alive! Sans waited for the hammer to fall. He waited for Grillby to scream. He expected it and even tried to egg him on but it never came. Even now Grillby never once laid a hand on them to discipline them. He had never once raised his voice in a sign of dominance. He had never acted like Gaster.

This shattered Sans' world. His small bubble of do or die was ripped away and instead he was given a choice. A choice to do anything. _Anything_! Something that he had such a hard time understanding. Everyone else just accepted like it was normal. They didn't think of what it was like to not have a choice. They couldn't begin to comprehend how crushing and defeating it was to have no voice or say. No one understood that the hardest part wasn't even overcoming that hurdle of never having choices but making them. No one told him to eat or walk. No one told him where to go or what to do. Sans tried to cling onto what he knew but that was wrong. Everything he knew was wrong. Everything he had been trained for, conditioned to do, punished for disobeying were all wrong.

But therapy helped Sans not only realize that but overcome it as well. Kawa and Foli offered Sans the knowledge and solution to his problems and did everything they could to fix it. They listened to him, understood him, offered suggestions, helped him. They made him not understand what was wrong but help direct him to what was right. They took away his insanity. They banished his voices, pulled him out of his pit of despair, gave him a smile. The prescribed him medication that allowed Sans to be everything he could ever want to be and more. They gave him hope. A thing he had lost so long ago.

Hope, love, trust, happiness, those didn't exist to Sans. Sans wasn't allowed to feel those. Even though now, those were all he ever felt. Hope for his future. Love for his family. Trust in those around him to continue to love and support him. Happiness, just having the ability to be happy and to smile. Sans felt and experienced so many new emotions in ways he didn't think possible. All because of those around him who helped him. Sans was free because he fought for it. Sans was given a chance for a better life because Papyrus got sick. Sans was given a home because Grillby opened his arms and gave him one.

Grillby had raised them and loved them. Grillby had watched his children grow and become such wonderful monsters in just such a short amount of time. He helped them grow and understand the world and in return, they helped him deal with the past he had always ran from. Sans faced his problem head on, something Grillby had never done. He ran from his troubled past, from his family. He had almost lost his only sibling and would have had it not been for his sons. They forced him to compromise. They made Flint aware of things he had never been able to see before. They helped the lost brother understand each other and not only save their family, but create a bigger one as well.

Sans felt like it had been five years since he first knocked on Grillby's door. So much had happened, school, Bonnie, bullying, therapy, Grillby's family, meltdowns, panic attacks, medication, Papyrus, Undyne, recovery.

And now this. Back to where it all started. Instead of running with Papyrus in his arms, Sans was half asleep in Grillby's. Instead of his soul fluttering in his chest, terrified of what was to come he was struggling to keep his eyes open perfectly content and happy.

For the past was just that, the past. Right now, Sans was in Grillby's arm soaking in the warmth and love he gave. Papyrus by his father equally exhausted but still smiling gently as he said a final goodbye to a childhood he didn't remember. Sans pupils focused on the hallways, eye closing as the elevator doors shut cutting that final string connecting Sans to the experiment S.

“Will you be visiting tomorrow?” Tur asked softly as the elevator hummed and lifted.

“No, I don't think we will be,” Grillby replied, glancing down at Sans who was fast asleep in his arms.

“Dad?” Papyrus asked, tugging on his pant leg. Grillby peered down at him and Papyrus rested his skull against his leg. “Thank you.” Grillby smiled, supporting Sans with one hand as he gently rubbed his youngest child's skull.

“Thank you, Papyrus. Thank you both.” Papyrus leaned into the touch.

“Can we have pancakes for dinner?” Grillby let out a soft laugh kneeling down to pick Papyrus up and hold him in his arms like his brother. The flame placed a small kiss on his forehead and nuzzled it gently as he replied. 

“Of course we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. The end guys. This story is done. We got one the epilogue left but guys...it's done!
> 
> Wow. Only took 50 chapters, nine months, and way too much time. But shit dude...We pulled into recovery station homies, pack your bags and get the hell off. 
> 
> But in all seriousness, thank you all so, so much. This has been an incredible journey and the amount of love and support this fic has gotten is just amazing. It's been three, almost four years since I last wrote a fic and I'm glad to see I still got a little juice left in me. Your comments, kudos, and everything have been so motivating and incredible and I can not thank you enough for the support. 
> 
> Thank you to all the amazing and wonderful people who I have met and become friends with because of this story. I am and will always be so humbled that this has helped so many people because this was never suppose to be nearly as lengthy or dark. This fic started out as a little idea I wrote in December but it grew into this monster of tears, pain, and sadness. I'm glad I was not only able to write a fic that talked about the side so many skipped but also that so many loved it. 
> 
> I am truly at a lose for words (she said writing the longest end note in history.). Thank you to everyone who read this, those who stuck around, and those who didn't. Even as this story comes to a close, there will be many more coming. The epilogue will come out soon and just a warning, if you want a happy solid ending stop here. The epilogue was going to be a happy thing but I realized that didn't really work with the story huh? Time progresses, but bad things always happen. The ending will be a good one, fear not, but that doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows folks. I like to be as realistic as possible and that means not always writing the perfectly happily ever after. But, that's just a warning.
> 
> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I wish you all a wonderful day. Hope to see you in the next one guys.


	51. Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading.

Sans trudged his way through the fresh snow, shivering as the chilly Snowdin air passed through him. He hunched over, hands shoved into his pockets as he watched his breath disperse into the night air. His gaze wandered upwards to the barely visible crystals at the top of the cave that was a pitiful sight compared to the luminescent shimmering ones in the Waterfalls. The crystals were suddenly blocked out by a familiar red glow that colored the area in a similar shade. A fond smile found it's way onto the skeleton's face as he politely wiped his feet before shoving open the door.

“Knock knock,” He called, lightly tapping his hand against the door.

“Hey there,” The bar owner called from behind his beloved post.

“The proper response is 'who's there'. Come on, my joking moments are dwindling down as it is don't take this from me,” Sans begged and the flame monster snorted.

“Sorry, kid. Not in my bar.” Sans sighed dramatically. He took a seat at his regular spot, slouching against the bar

“Bonnie not here?” He asked, scanning the empty bar.

“Had to watch the kiddos.” Sans hummed, nodding his head. “Where's your brother?”

“Out with Undyne. He got tired of my witty remarks and told me to pester someone else so here I am.” Sans displayed himself proudly, a lazy grin on his face.

“Glad to know your visits revolve around food and bothering me.” Sans winked, his grin growing. “How was your appointment with Kawa?”

“Same old.” The skeleton replied nonchalantly. “Meds are fine, head is fine, body is fine. I'm a healthy skeleton.” Sans twirled his finger around in small celebratory manner.

“Ever call Alphys like Papyrus asked?” Grillby reminded his son. Sans clicked his teeth together.

“Er, naw. We aren't really…” Sans waved his hand around looking everywhere but at his guardian. “She's kinda...”

“Still rough?” Grillby asked, directing his attention to his son.

“You could say that.” Sans sighed.

~*~

Sans had met Alphys during an internship at the labs. She was Tur's assistant and the two became relatively close. They were both quiet, reserved, and had a bit of a troubled past. Sans didn't feel bad whenever he needed to take a break because Alphys usually also needed one as well. After Tur retired once finishing his repairs to the Core, Alphys took over as the new royal scientist. She offered Sans the position of assistant but Sans declined. He liked science but did not want to ever have or be next in line for the title of royal scientist. Sans and Alphys still worked together often. Alphys was a genius with engineering and had improved the overall lives of the entire Underground with her inventions. She took a lot of inspiration from horrible manga's and animes she found in the dump. Although Sans wasn't a fan, he was happy Alphys was able to use them for more than just personal pleasure.

Alphys was incredibly gifted. She could recreate pretty much anything just from a photo and have it work twice as good. She had created touchscreen phones, upgraded the internet and cellphone signal, created better and fast computers, and improved Hotland's elevator transportation system. She had started many projects and ideas but would often give them to another monster, not wanting the responsibility of marketing and managing them. She had even created the Undergrounds newest, and only star, Mettaton. Papyrus adored the robot with all of his heart and Sans too got a kick out of some of his programs.

Things between Alphys and Sans got rocky when Alphys had come to Sans regarding questions on souls. Alphys wasn't an idiot, Sans knew that. She had most likely looked over the reports from Gaster that Tur had archived. Though they didn't involve Sans in any way, Alphys caught onto how Sans knew little things that were definitely top secret. At first, Alphys wondered if they could be used as some sort of power source or if they could in any way help the monsters instead of just sitting in their containers. Sans told her in every way he knew how to leave them alone. She pressed on, though, and Sans began to distance himself altogether. Sans could no longer sit by when Alphys had brought up a particular word that shook Sans to his very core.

“What about determination?” Sans dropped his marker, pupils vanishing completely. Alphys looked up to find the skeleton frozen and frowned. “Sans?”

“Determination?” Sans repeated spinning around. Alphys winced, the hollow sockets frightening to her.

“Y-Yeah, it's an option, isn't it? There's no recorded data of it being used on a monster before.” Sans fists clenched by his side. “Or anything at all! If it's as powerful as the legends say then surely we could use it for something.”

“Did Asgore tell you to explore this?” Sans questioned. Sans' personal relationship with the king as slowly improving. Sans was quick to judge him still, but as often as the saw each other it was impossible to work hating him completely.

“What? No! I've tried to get him to let me do some readings but he won't even let me near the souls. This just seems like a valuable resource that we have bene overlooking,” Alphys explained.

“No, it's not. You know what happens to a monster who comes in contact with a human soul. Monsters can't handle determination. What else would you use it for? It's only valuable to a soul!”

“What about in smaller doses?” Sans was livid. She was crazy. Yes, there was no recorded data on determination. But with all other information regarding soul's and humans, to try to merge it with monster souls was suicide. 

“Asgore will never let you touch those souls,” Sans told her and Alphys swallowed back her nerves.

“I-I think he would.” Sans glared. “With enough proof for a theory of some kind, there is no reason he should deny me access. Especially if it's harmless.”

“Determination isn't harmless,” Sans snarled.

“You know something don't you?” She asked boldly. “Something about determination that you aren't telling me. That Asgore knows?” Sans silence gave her the answer she needed. “Does it have to do with those notes?”

“It has nothing to do with you,” Sans spat. Snatching up the marker that fell.

“I beg to differ. If there is information regarding this I should know about it. How else am I to study and know what it is if you keep it from me. How is anyone suppose to know if it's not recorded? If Asgore or whoever wants to keep this a secret, wants it to not be an option then file a report about it so no one will go near it. As far as I'm concerned, this could maybe help us. Maybe even free us!” Sans launched the marker he was holding across the room, fuming at Alphys' ignorance.

Help us?! Help who?! Determination doesn't help anyone! Sans was so angry. Why was she so stubborn? So stupid? Couldn't she take the hints? Did she think she was the first monster to ever think about using determination? How naive!

“If you pursue this, I'm leaving,” Sans told her and Alphys straightened her posture.

“Sans we need you here. You can't leave,” she said softly.

“I refuse to work or be near anyone deranged enough to touch determination. If this is what you plan to work on, I quit.”

“Even if I get Asgore's permission.” Sans' sockets darkened.

“Especially if you get his permission.” Alphys and Sans stood staring at one another.

“Please, think this over.” Sans teeth ground together. “You are a valuable member. Not just in the field of science but as my friend. Please think this through. I can't let this go under my nose. Not when it had so much potential.” Alphys eyes were begging Sans to stay but he was done. Sans reached up and removed his lab coat.

“Sans,” Alphys pleaded watching the skeleton toss his coat on a chair. “Sans please, at least talk to me. Help me understand!”

“You think you're the first one to use determination, Alphys?! Don't you think Tur wanted to? Anyone else? You think there is a reason Asgore is so protective over the souls? You think there is a reason there is no information on it? Are you that stupid?! It's not there for a reason Alphys!” Sans shouted before he just scoffed and shook his head. “Why don't you have a word with Tur, Al?” Sans suggested in a bitter tone. “Because he clearly gave his position to someone unqualified for it.” Alphys looked hurt. “And who knows, maybe he can talk some sense into you. You're gonna need someone to because I'm done.”

Sans resigned from his position but Asgore insisted he reconsider. Sans refused to work or talk to Alphys making the entire labs off limits. Sans sat around in his room ignoring all calls and personal visits he got. Grillby had tried to talk to him but Sans refused to listen. Alphys had apparently talked to Tur and was vaguely away of the situation regarding Sans' past and his personal experience with determination. He had also explained why determination can't be used. She tried to call Sans to apologize but none of her texts or voicemails said she would stop working on her idea. All she did was apologize for making him uncomfortable and that's all.

“Is he home?” Alphys asked and Sans scowled, curling up on his bed. Sans had his own place with Papyrus now but with Sans too upset to leave his room, Grillby came over often to help out around the house.

“Look, Alphys I really don't think-” Grillby's voice was cut off when Sans slammed his door closed. He listened to the mumbling voices. He heard the familiar creak of the steps followed by a soft knock on his door.

“Tell her to fuck off Grillby!” Sans shouted.

“That's not very nice,” Alphys said and Sans glared at his wall.

“Fuck off!”

“I need your help.” Sans let out a dry laugh. “Sans please, I want you-”

“I want you to get the hell out of my house!”

“Sans open the door,” Grillby said and the skeleton frowned. “Sans.” The flame repeated using his father voice.

“Grillby she-”

“Let her talk.” He said cutting his son off. “Just let her explain.” Sans shot up and marched over to the door.

“Explain what?!” Sans shouted throwing open the door. “She's still going to do it! She's still going to mess with it! After everything Tur said! After I warned her!” Sans pointed his finger accusingly at Alphys who shrunk away from it. “The only shit she is going to tell me is that same shit I heard from _him_!”

“Maybe because they had the right idea.” Sans body went stiff, slowly turning to look at Alphys with complete and total disgust.

“What the fuck do you know about that.” Sans spat his eye illuminating. “You don't know anything about-”

“They had something Sans and you know it. I don't know what they were working on or who they even are but the idea of exploring its effects are what we need to look into. Maybe not test them on monsters, we can try objects or plants and simply organism. Just to see what it can do!”

“You want to see what determination can do Alphys?” Sans eye glowed brightly as he raised his hand summoning a blaster. “Because I can show you if you don't get the fuck out of my house.” Alphys flinched, visibly terrified of the attack Sans summoned. Grillby grabbed Sans' arm forcing Sans to call off the blaster.

“Do not fight her.” He scolded.

“After everything she said?!” Sans shrieked.

“Don't punish her for being ignorant. You are so aggravated and upset at her for not listening to you but you gave her no reason to stop and haven't explain to her the dangers of the situation. If anyone is at fault here, it is you for expecting her to believe your word. You two are scientists. You don't believe the word of someone, you believe the evidence.” Grillby let Sans' arm go and it fell to his side. Sans watched his father pupils still burning with rage.

“She won't listen. I know she won't.” Sans accused and Alphys kept her mouth shut. “She'll keep trying to find a new alternative. Lower to dosage, dilute it, infuse it with magic. She won't give up.”

 “That isn't on you,” Grillby told his child. “Asgore would not allow what happened to be repeated again. And if it does,” Grillby said in a lower tone, leaning closer to his son, “you'd know exactly what to look for and what to do.” Sans stared at his guardian. “I'm not telling you to work with her. I'm not asking you to reconsider your resignation. What I am encouraging you to do, is watch. Express you distaste, explain it logically and with evidence or examples, and try to get her to see it your way. If she doesn't, it's on her. You know just as well as I that handling this stuff needs two people. One dumb enough to test, and one sane enough to know when the stop. You need to be that sane monster. Keep her safe. You may be mad at her now but you two are still friends. You will regret it if something bad happens.” Grillby rested his hand on Sans' skull offering him a smile. Sans clicked his teeth together, glancing over at Alphys.

“I don't want to tell her everything,” Sans mumbled.

“Then don't. Tell or show her only what she needs to know.” Grillby removed his hand from on top of Sans' head and poked him gently on his ribs. “You are the only one who not only knows that happens but can show her too.” Sans let out a groaned kicking the wall to get off some of his anger.

“Is Pap home?” He asked.

“No, he's out.” Sans nodded and look at Alphys with a sour expression.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut, alright?” Sans ordered and Alphys nodded.

Sans had ended up explaining some things about his past to Alphys. He kept it as minimal as possible. He mentioned no names, no times, no dates, only evidence and facts that would hopefully warn or scare Alphys away. Sans had even shown her some photos from his file. Alphys asked a lot of questions, begging to know more not from a scientific view but as a concerned friend however Sans ignored it. He hoped his aloofness and hard demeanor would sink in how serious he was. Much like what he imagined, Alphys stilled wanted to continue. She countered a lot of Sans' fears and points and deep down Sans knew a lot of them were his own problem. However the underline fear and knowledge of how sensitive and painful determination was, Sans still refused to work with Alphys on it. Sans did, however, attempted to get back to his work at the labs. Asgore withheld Sans' resignation hoping he'd reconsider and was happy that Sans did. The skeleton, for the most part, worked in the Core now. As Alphys studied determination more and more Sans continued to distance himself. He didn't want to see it or hear about it if he could help it. Alphys went to him, though, ensuring her maths were correct and getting Sans' opinion on matters. Sans was always negative, telling her it wouldn't work but that her work was correct in theory.

Alphys had eventually worked enough sleepless nights to come up with enough evidence and a solid hypothesis that was worthy enough for her to start working with determination. Sans was outraged Asgore had allowed her to but Alphys has said she would only be studying on objects or plants and nothing sentient enough to be considered alive.

One thing Sans did like about Alphys is that she had the labs underneath her completely redecorated. Tur had designed it during his time, removing everything but the machine to Sans displeasure. Tur rearranged the labs into his own personal one keeping the upstairs more as a home. He had even installed a small sick bay like area for when a horrific illness had washed over the Underground because of something the humans had dropped in the dump. Alphy's add-ons were mainly to the inventions she had made and small decorations but when the time came, suitable places to work and handle determination. Sans had looked over her research area, looking over the golden flowers she had requested to use wanting to test both monster plants and the ones from humans to see if there would be a difference.

Sans, by this point, had moved into his own home. Papyrus and him shared a room for most of their lives are were more than happy to continue to do so. However, as Sans grew older, he needed his own space and Papyrus too deserved his privacy. Grillby had helped Sans pay for a lovely two bedroom home. The flame had sold their own one and moved back into his bar, the large space too much for him as one person. Grillby has given each boy a key to the house and one for their own private area as well. Papyrus called the shed saying it would be perfect to holding humans in and Sans took the nearly invisible door in the back of the house. It had been a small, moldy smelling basement but Sans saw promise.

That promise came when Sans' trust in Alphys began to waver. He...trusted Alphys, truly he did. Alphys wasn't an idiot and she was too smart to do anything foolish. Yet when she had called Sans to inform him that the determination samples were now in her lab Sans did something rather reckless.

“Sans,” Grillby groaned not sounding judgmental but simply concerned.

“Look, I know it looks bad,” Sans said trying to find a way to explain himself

“Sans you-what the hell?” Grillby ran a hand through his flame, shoulders slouched. “Did you just do this?”

“I've...had it for a month now,” Sans admitted, rubbing at his arm.

 “A month? Fucking hell, kid. Does she know about this?”

“Not that I'm aware of. I...kinda stole it when she was asleep.”

“How the hell did you ever steal this thing? Did you teleport it?” Grillby looked over at his son before a memory washed over him. “That was why you were sick! You overused your magic!” The flame lightly smacked his son's head. “You worried us half to death Sans. You could barely keep your bones together!”

“Yeah, and I'm sorry but I just...with everything going on I didn't want this with her.” Sans rubbed the back of his neck turned to face the machine. Alphys knew very little about it and as far as Sans knew, wasn't even really aware it was around or missing. But having the determination in the labs, Sans had to get it out of there. He just couldn't let them be together, not after everything he'd seen and been through.

“Are you going to tell her?” Grillby asked, nudging one of the large wires coming off the machine.

“Probably not,” Sans answered honestly. “I haven't seen her in a week, to be honest. I don't really...I'm thinking about looking into other outlets.” Sans said, running his hand over the counter that was installed when they moved in. “This was all fun a first. It got better working with her as friends and all but I don't want to have my name be affiliated with whatever she is working on. I know it'll go bad Grillby. I keep telling her this'll end badly but she just won't listen. It's not even about my past anymore, determination is too unstable. It's not meant for monsters, it's dangerous. I don't know how she even managed to convince Asgore to let her work with it. He should know what it can do. I just feel like I'm just waiting for some time bomb to go off every time I'm there. It's stressful. I don't know if I can really handle that much longer.” Sans admitted, rubbing his hands over his face.

“If this is really affecting you mentally then maybe you should resign. I don't want to have you miserable or stressing yourself out over this.” Grillby told his son offering his two cents.

“What else am I gonna do, though? I like working there. I love being involved in science. I just can't really work in that environment. Not knowing what she's doing right under us.” Sans shivered.

“Maybe you can do your own thing,” Grillby suggested. “You have this room here. Perhaps you can try to do something on your own time. Asgore already values your impute in matters regarding these types of things. Even Tur wanted you to apply as his assistant when he was the royal scientist. I'm sure Asgore will be willing to let you work on your own if you want.”

“Doubtful, he requires all scientists be watched and file detailed reports on their work. He doesn't want another Gaster incident,” Sans said. “Even if I did work alone with an occasional check up, I don't even know what I'd study or look into.” Grillby just offered his child a smile, patting his back.

“I'm sure you can think of something. You're still young. You got plenty of time to think it over.” Sans sighed but nodded looking back over at the machine.

Things between Sans and Alphys sort of balanced out with time. Sans eventually did quit, unable to handle Alphys' after her last fuck up. When the flower she was testing on vanished, she called Sans right away and all he could do was tell her he warned her. He didn't think much of it, to be honest. He simply figured the determination has most likely dusted the flower somehow. That wasn't her mistake, though. That came when a crippling illness struck down on some monsters Alphys used diluted, magically infused determination to solve the problem. It worked at first the monsters getting better, but when Sans got a call at four in the morning from a frantic, crying Alphys Sans knew it went bad. Upon seeing the damage Sans was horrified as to what the determination had done. The melted, goopy abominations that were once monsters groaned and cried and Sans had lost it. He shouted at Alphys, insulted her, threatened her, he was livid. He had warned her. He had warned her over and over again and she refused to listen. The things he had said were cruel and he knew it. It makes it worse, in her time of need Sans abandoned her, leaving her to wallow in her mistakes, her stupid mistakes. It was her fault completely. 

Sans would have stayed away forever had Asgore not requested Sans to see Alphys. The king knew of what happened, having permitted Alphys to use the determination in the first place. After a month with no word, Sans went begrudgingly. He found Alphys in her labs, a trembling, broken mess. Sans knew she most likely hadn't left this place in weeks meaning she missed out of her medication. Alphys didn't rely on it as heavily as Sans did, but it made her depression and anxiety plummet far faster than Sans' had ever. Sans wasn't afraid to say Alphys was suicidal. She had attempted in the past but was gradually recovering. With this crushing her like a ten-ton bag of bricks, Sans was surprised Alphys had dusted by now.

“Get up,” Sans told her offering his hand. The lights were off but the constant glow of the machine lights always provided just enough light. The lizard slowly faced him, eye red, face wet.

“Sans?”

“Come on, grab my hand.” Sans waved it slightly and Alphys just stared before looking away.

“I destroyed them.” She said in a soft tone. “They aren't even monsters. They are barely even alive.”

“Grab my hand Alphys.”

“Their families will kill me. I deserve it. I'm disgusting. I'm an idiot. I never deserved this title. I never deserved anything.”

“Grab my hand!”

“Why do you even care?!” Alphys cried and Sans stared.

“I'm sorry for what I said.” Sans apologized. “I was cruel. I said some things I shouldn't have. I abused your trust in me and used things you told me against you. I'm sorry. I was mad, I still am. I warned you. I fucking warned you time and time again and you wouldn't listen. Nothing I said can or should be forgiven by an apology but neither can the things you did. This isn't about either of us, though. We need to focus on the bigger issue.”

“You deserve my title,” Alphys said, deflating. “You were right. You are wiser. You are more intelligent. I'm a fraud, a fool, a mistake. I'm an idiot Sans. I should have listened. I can't help them. I can't help anyone. I deserve to die for what I did. I-I want to-”

“Stop thinking about yourself,” Sans told her and Alphys looked confused. “Stop thinking about what you did. Stop thinking about what you could have done. Stop thinking about the repercussions your actions will give you. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!” Sans shouted. “It's about them!” He pointed to the open doorway. “They aren't dead Alphys! You feel! They speak! They are alive! You did this so take responsibility for your actions and take care of them!”

“How?! They can't go back to their families! They aren't even single monsters! They merged!”

“Then fix it!”

“I can't!” Sans was silent.

“So you're going to give up? Kill them? Keep them down here forever? Starve them to death? What your plan Alphys?”

“I-I don't know.”

“I'll tell you then.” Sans grabbed her arm. “You're going to get up.” He yanked on it bringing her to her feet. “You are going to get some food.” Sans held onto Alphys as he dragged her to a broken vending machine. He summoned a bone and shattered the glass, reaching inside to grab armfuls of snacks. “Give it to them.” Sans continued to drag her to the sick bay where the monsters slept. He whistled loudly getting their attention and dropped the food on the floor. The creatures ran over and absorbed it. Alphys flinched away wanting to run but Sans held on. “And instead of thinking about yourself. You are going to listen to them and help them.” Once the monsters were done eating they lingered watching Sans and Alphys. The largest one, a creature in the shape of some vague dog inched closure.

“P **l** _ **a**_ _y?_ ” It asked. Sans reached into his pocket and retrieved a tennis ball. The dog dripping body seemed to lift up as excitement radiate off of it. Sans launched the ball across the room watching it bounce down the hall and the dog creature darted after it. He turned to Alphys watching her.

“Every single one of them wants something Alphys. They aren't dead, they aren't stupid, and they most certainly can not be left down here by themselves. This is your responsibility now. You take care of them. You feed them. You play with them. You try to fix them. I will help you take care of them. I will watch over them when you can't. I will help you as your friend. What I won't do is fix this for you. That is your job.” Sans pulled out a joke book from his pocket and the Snowdrake creature chirped happily. “Go wash up, take you medication, eat something, then rest. I'll take care of them for today.” Sans told his friend.

“Sans...you-” Sans pushed her to the exit silencing her. He gave her a warning look before facing the Snowdrake with a lazy smile.

“What's a skeleton favorite instrument?”

~*~

 “You help her still?” Sans rubbed at his neck, fiddling with the ketchup bottle.

“We uh-...Kinda. I help her out sometimes with the-you know. Prefer not to get involved if I have to. You know with the whole...yeah. She's getting better. I only really go in if they miss me or if she can't get out of bed.”

“She could maybe use your help. Sulfi says she hardly ever enters the Core anymore.”

“Yeah well, Tur did a pretty good job fixing it up. I doubt she needs to go there anyways.” Sans said tapping his finger against the ketchup bottle. Grillby looked over his child and the skeleton huffed. “I told her what could happen. She knew the risks and continued. Everything after is her fault and hers alone. She ain't gonna listen that's her fucking fault. I fucking showed her what happens when you fuck with determination.” Sans snapped before he sighed, closing his sockets. “Sorry, it's just funny, ya know? Told her all about the stuff, the effects, the strength, everything. Even showed her proof yet she still went along with it. I empathize with her which is why I help take care of those guys when she can't even get out of bed but her guilt and her pain are her own. I'm not getting involved with that stuff ever again. Science as a whole has kinda been stumped for me because of it. Her massive fuck up just made me so apprehensive about my own or any I could make.” Sans finished with a frown.

“So why do you still work on the machine?” Grillby questioned and Sans inhaled deeply.

“That's a different story. That...” Sans sighed, scratching his skull as he shrugged. “The void,” Sans mumbled recalling the empty space, “there's more to it. It's unknown and as bat shit insane Gaster was, he knew what he was doing. Even if his theory is impossible to do humanly, there's still things we can do to better understand the void. And considering that place altered my magic and lingers within me, I'd like to know more about it. What it is, what it can do, if what it did to me or permeant or deadly even. I feel like it's gotten weaker almost but I don't really know how to measure it. I don't trust anyone else to either. Even if I did find anything I'm not going to tell anyone about it. The machine, the void, all of it I'll take to my grave. I have no idea what it is or what it's capable of. I don't want whatever power it has to be shared with anyone.” Sans looked down at his hands and curled them up. “Heh, who knows? Maybe the old bastard is still there waiting to get his ass handed to him.”

“Don't fill me with such hope,” Grillby mumbled as he set his folded rag aside. Sans let out a light laugh, fiddling with the ketchup bottle. “You okay?”

“As okay as I can be I suppose.” The skeleton answered honestly. “Everything's silent up here.” He knocked his skull. “Meds are doing their thing and haven't caused anything yet. Sleep's been hard to come by, though. But the meds have me sleeping through the day so maybe it works out.” The room fell into a silence for a few minutes before the skeleton continued. “I wake up sometimes and totally forget where I am. I know I'm in my room but some part of me still can't believe I got all this. The house, Pap, you, freedom. Feels like I'm living some undeserved life. Guess no amount of therapy or medication can fix that, huh?” Sans smiled weakly and Grillby gave his child a sorrowful expression.

“I can't think of anyone who deserves a better life than you, Sans.” Sans stared for a moment before he turned his head, bringing am arm up to cover his eyes.

“Oh jeez. Warn a guy next time, Pops. Gonna make me cry like a baby bones over here.”

“You know I'm serious, though, right?” Sans looked up, managing to suppress his emotions for now.

“Yeah, I know. Hard not to have that reminder between you and Pap.” Grillby smiled softly. Papyrus and Grillby both tried their best to let Sans know how much he is loved and cared for no matter how old.

“Well, you gave us a scare when you soul started to go back down. We both just want to make sure you are happy and not keeping any secrets from us.”

Sans' previous medication was acting up around last year. It had caused him to have frequent panic attacks and Kawa decided to take Sans off of it. This caused Sans' old habits and crippling depression to rain down on him. The weight was too much and Sans' soul strength was depleting once more. He had kept it a secret at first but with how jumpy and uneasy he was it was hard to maintain that secret for long. Papyrus soon found out and told Grillby instantly despite his brother's pleas not to. Sans was eventually placed on another medication after a few trial ones and although it had more side effects than what he would like it kept him sane and his soul stable.

“Heh, as if. You know Pap can see right through me. Secrets don't exist with that guy. If souls weren't so private he'd have me expose it every day when I wake up and go to bed.”

“He cares, Sans. And I'm glad he does. Who knows where'd you be without him taking care of you.” Sans let out a small huff of laughter.

“You know I am older right?”

“Not taller.”

“Hey!” Sans pointed, glaring playfully. “It's not my fault and you know it.”

“Sure it's not but I bet that bottle of ketchup doesn't help. Papyrus has been chugging down milk since Undyne told him to join the guard.” Sans made a sour face and Grillby leaned on the counter. “Still fighting with her?”

“Fighting involves two sides. In any argument with Undyne, there is only her side.” Sans grumbled.

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“You damn well know I have been trying! She still won't let him join the guard! He's been training for that since he's been ten! She was with him every damn step of the way yet how come she is the only one who got in? And now as captain, she still ain't doing shit for him! What kind of a fucking friend is that?!”

“Sans calm down. You know how Papyrus is. She is just-”

“Doggo is fucking blind as a bat! You can't give me that same shit she does Grillby. Not when you got a damn Pomeranian in a suit of armor and a practically blind dog out there. Papyrus can at least stop humans with a blue attack and trap them! It's just not fair!”

“Is Papyrus bothered by this?” The flame questioned and Sans grumbled.

“No, but you know he won't be. He thinks he just needs to train harder and that's not fair for him. He could kick Undyne's ass! Yeah, so he's a softy. Yes, he has a hard time delivering the final kill. Yes, he prefers capturing instead of fighting. But so what? You've seen the stuff he does. He's been able to kick Undyne's butt for years! He's even trapped her several times! He's amazing! I trained with him and you know what Undyne did? Gave me a job!!! I had to practically break her damn arm to get her to at least agree to let Papyrus be a sentry but he doesn't even have an official stand!”

“He was offered one,” Grillby noted.

“Oh yeah, because every damn human is gonna go exploring the middle of the Snowdin forest. Meanwhile, I get to be front and center! That shit isn't fair Grillby.” Sans exclaimed, furious at Undyne's treatment of his brother.

“Do you want Papyrus to be up and center? Do you want him to be the captain?”

“No, but it's not about me. That's what she needs to get through her fat, fish head. It's Papyrus' damn dream and getting in would make his entire life complete. And, if she is so damn concerned about him getting hurt, maybe she could look over her damn troops. Guards are in pairs up in Hotland! And we have Dogamy and Dogaressa here! Me and Pap could be one too but she won't let it happen.”

“Would you really want that?”

“Yes, Grillby, I would if it would make Papyrus happy. Because I know how capable he is. I don't have to worry about him. If a human does fall down I'm still the first one at the gate. He's not even in danger! Everyone doesn't trust him yet no one seems to bat a damn eye to me, though. A skeleton who's soul fluctuated in HP depending on his damn medication! If anyone is a liability it's me! I'm the damn psychopath on unstable medication! At least you don't have to worry about Papyrus losing his mind!” Sans slammed the bottle of ketchup down on the table and glared.

The bar was silent and Grillby watched his son with a sorrowful expression. Sans buried his head in his hands and inhaled deeply. He dragged them down his face as he exhaled, pupils dim.

“I'm sorry,” Sans mumbled. “The meds, they just fuck with my mood sometimes.” Sans released the ketchup, his hand sliding down to his lap. “That and the late nights just...yeah.” Grillby stepped around the bar, sitting next to his son.

“Sans what did Kawa really say today?” Sans let his sockets close for a moment before he opened them to stare off at the wall.

“He wants to try to put me back on the injection again.” Grillby flame brightened at this. “The only reason he's keeping me on these pills now is because it's the only one that keeps me remotely stable. The side effects, though, aren't ideal. Ever since the last one failed he's been looking into a better choice but they don't really have any. The injections were working which is why he suggested them. But of course, the issue isn't with that it's with me.” Sans mumbled.

After Sans' first medication had failed him a year ago, the search had been on for a new one. Kawa offered the injections temporarily after trying out the last stable medication. The list of drugs was running thin, and a majority of the ones left were still in a trial phase. Kawa did not want Sans on them if he could help it, unaware of what it could do to his soul. The injections were his last safe chance to help Sans. Sans needed a stabilizer and the search for a new medication for him would take longer than he was willing to wait for. The first injection had been quite the ordeal. However, Sans managed to take it without too much of a hassle. The effects were fine at first but slow moving. It wasn't until the second injection that Sans reacted violently. The combination of his instability, fear, panic, and the injection itself caused him to lash out so violently Papyrus and Grillby had to drag him out of the hospital. The lash out had not been caused by the actual anti-psychotic itself making it still a valuable option for Sans. The only problem was Sans' inability to control his thoughts while off any medication. The very sight of the needle had Sans trembling and desperately trying to escape. Papyrus would be there as he was before, distracting Sans and keeping his attention away from the needle approaching his arm. The hardest part was keeping Sans still once the needle pierced him. The feeling had made Sans go numb, his mind silent for a split second before every sensible and cognitive part of him shut down allowing blind panic, rage, and fear to consume him.

Sans wasn't proud of the damage he did, not fully away of it until he returned to the hospital to find someone repairing a massive hole in the wall.

“Is it something you really want to consider?” Grillby wondered and Sans shrugged.

“Honestly, I'd take anything over sleepless night and mood-swings,” Sans said.

“Yeah but last time-”

“Yeah it was tough, I wasn't used to it. I'm still not but it's either cripple sanity or crippling emotions so take a pick.” Sans huffed and Grillby sat down next to his son. “Kawa said I could try to stay on the lower dosage. He doesn't recommend it but since the two don't really affect one another it shouldn't be a problem if the dosage is low enough. It really won't do much for the extreme stuff but it should at least help not cause a freak out like last time.” Sans explained before adding, “I hope.”

“What does Foli think?” The bartender wondered.

“She recommended I go back to my usual visits of twice a week as Kawa lowers the dosage. I'm a bit rusty on the old coping methods and she hopes that the sessions will make me more...” Sans waved his hand around.

“Functional?”

“Yeah, sure.” Sans agreed, having a different word for it in mind.

“Do you want Pap and I to go with you?”

“Kawa probably does.” Sans joked dryly. “Got over every other damn thing. Past the file, past the labs, but one stupid needle fucking ruins it.” Sans curses.

“You're trying again, just like with all of those things. I'm sure you can do it better this time. You always have.” Grillby reassured, rubbing Sans's back.

“Don't really have a choice. It's this or I'm borderline bipolar. I can't even take any other medication with this one to even try to help the side effects.” Sans ran a hand down his face and exhaled loudly. “I see Foli Thursday and Kawa said it's up to me when to start the dosage. I figured after the holidays would be best. I don't want to freak out around Flint or Sulfi though with how I am now it's not much better. Plus they both won't be available during the holidays. Kawa will be back but will take off again for the New Years. Foli will be gone because of her kids.”

“How is Shru?” Grillby asked taking advantage of the topic change. Sans relaxed at this, a bit more cheerful.

“She's fine. She started growing her petals last spring. Bran is watching over her like a hawk.” Sans said fondly. “Should have seen the kid's face when Shru started blooming. Never seen a kid look so happy.”

“That's cute.”

“Yeah, Bran's jealous of it though he'll never admit it. I told him they'll both look the same in winter so it didn't really matter. How's Bon been? Haven't seen her around much.” 

“She's been great. She's got her hands full with those foster kids from the 'Falls. Sharp teeth and claws aren't up her alley.” The two chuckled.

“I told her to drop them off with Gerson. He'll whip them into shape.” Sans joked and Grillby laughed.

“You know she won't do that.”

“She's such a mom. Fostering suits her, though,” Sans smiled, taking a sip of the ketchup.

“Yeah, she's happy with it. Sad to see my favorite drunk go,” Grillby teased.

“But you got me in return.” Sans smiled and Grillby snorted, patting his son's head.

“I'm not sure how proud that makes me.” Sans just shrugged and took another swig of the ketchup. “Want some fries with that?” Grillby asked and Sans swallowed the ketchup.

“Got any left?”

“Probably, crispy, burnt, and greasy just like you like.” Sans perked up at this and Grillby laughed. He went to the back to retrieve the remaining fries and tossed them in a basket. He exited and slid them over to his son who admired them letting out a fond sigh.

“Best part of the day.” He said, picking one up and tossing it into his mouth. He let out a moan, kicking his legs happily. “Mmm, Grillby, seriously, this is the best.”

“Glad to know all my leftovers are taken care of.” He said and the both perked up when the bell above the door chimed.

“Father is my lazy brother in here?” Papyrus shouted as he tossed open the door. “Ah-ha, there you are. Have you any idea what time it is, brother?” Sans glanced over at the clock. “You already spent half your day here. Plus we will be over tomorrow as well for the weekend. Must you spend your evening here as well?”

“What? Can't a guy spend some time with his old man?” Sans nudge Grillby.

“Not when it is spent drinking ketchup.” Papyrus scowled and Sans tipped the bottle to him. “Father, how do you put up with him?” He sighed, advancing closure to them.

“You tell me, you live with him.”

 “And what a pleasure that is,” Papyrus said in fake sarcasm, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Weren't you with Undyne today?” Sans wondered.

“Three hours ago, yes. Irresponsible as usual. He forgot to feed his pet rock again today!” Papyrus informed his father.

“Rocky is fine. He's a big strong rock.” Sans said waving off the responsibility per usual.

“This is why I didn't allow pets.” Grillby sighed, pushing away from his bar. “How goes the training Pap?” Papyrus brightened the mention of it.

“Wonderful! Undyne has even offered me cooking classes as an added bonus. No doubt from being so great.” Papyrus struck a pose.

“You took cooking lessons from Undyne but not me?”

“Father it's about the art of it! Plus your food is rather...” Papyrus struggled to find a nice word for it. “Greasy.” He settled on. “I would love to work with you if you invest in a more healthy choice of food.” Papyrus offered, picking at a fry. “This grease is so unhealthy.”

“You used to love my food,” Grillby said in fake offense. “You and Sans only every wanted french fries and hot dogs.”

“Still, do,” Sans voiced, sliding a fry into his mouth.

“Perhaps you should try adding spaghetti to your menu,” Papyrus said shooting his father a look. “I know a good recipe.” Grillby snorted as Sans chuckled, shaking his head.

“Papyrus, you and Undyne managed to almost burn down my entire bar twice. I, a living and breathing fire elemental have never once managed to do that and let me just remind you, I am made of fire.”

“Step up your game, old man. Start setting more stuff on fire. Papyrus is more flame than you.” Sans joked, stuffing more fries into his mouth before chewing thoughtfully. "But I guess it’s not too surprising. We were raised by a fire element.” He said with a mouthful of food.

“Yes, and you brother were raised by an animal.” Papyrus scowled, closing Sans' mouth.

“More like an abomination.” He muttered, barely audible and easily overlooked by his brother but not his guardian. He shook the rather dark joked off with a grin, swallowing his fries. “You point makes sense, though. I’m more of a lazy house cat than a big brother, huh?”

“I’m disturbed by how accurate that is,” Papyrus admitted with a dead expression.

“A purrfectly accurate one?” Papyrus groaned, hiding his face so no one saw his grin. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Sans please that wasn't even good!”

“No one’s around, I can let the bad ones slide,” he said waving him off.

“Still, spare us the jokes.” Grillby fake begged rising up from his stool.

“Rough crowd, as usual. People in Hotland love me. Maybe I should relocate.” Papyrus rolled his eyes and ignored his brother.

“Dad! Did Sans tell you about the puzzle I can up with today? It is my best one yet! A human is bound to be stumped by my amazing skills,” Papyrus gloated.

“He did indeed at lunch. Perhaps we can all take a walk and get some nice cream and you can show me them.” The flame suggested and Papyrus beamed.

“A WONDERFUL IDEA! I already canceled my training with Undyne tomorrow but I should call off Sunday too just in case. You too Sans.” Papyrus noted planning his schedule out loud.

“Gasp, me skip work for fun? Papyrus how dare you assume I’d stoop so low!” Sans gawked and Papyrus rolled his eyes.

“How do you even have a job still? You’re in here 90% of the day.” Grillby asked as he shook his head, chuckling under his breath.

“I’m your best customer!”

“Your tab says differently.”

“No family discount?”

“No, I think you’ll pay double.”

“Harsh old man. You’ll bleed me dry. I’ll have to take on more jobs, get more breaks.” Sans grinned a cheeky grin.

“Spend more money here. The cycle of life, aye kiddo?” Grillby shot back.

“You both are unbelievable. Father please, do not keep allowing Sans to skip work to come here. I dare say it’s almost unhealthy.”

“Nothing better than a little father-son bonding Paps. When was the last time you hung out with our dearest father?”

“Besides currently? Yesterday when you fell asleep at the bar again!” Papyrus scowled and Sans sweat.

“Good times, huh?” Papyrus picked Sans up and stuffed him under his arm.

“Hate to cut this short, but we need to be up bright and early tomorrow! There is much to be done with the day! I believe you’ve wasted enough of father's time Sans. I’ll be over first thing tomorrow morning!” Papyrus informed his father.

“Please, by all means, sleep in. I’d love to wake up at eight instead of six.” Grillby said setting the ketchup bottle and fries behind the bar.

“But six is the start of light!” Sans slid out of his brother's grasp like a slug landing gently on his feet.

“Why don’t you train with Undyne till we’re up?” Sans suggested.

“She told me not to come over anymore if it’s not at least nine.” Papyrus frowned.

“Then I’m sure you’ll find something. Maybe you can make a list of things to do.”

“OR A LIST OF MORE PUZZLES!”

“There you go, use those sticky notes that are lying around.”

“THEY AREN’T LYING AROUND THEY ARE-“ Papyrus groaned loudly. “PICK UP YOUR SOCK!”

“It’s on my list.” Sans winked, heading over to the door.

“Don’t break your brother, Sans. Pick up your sock.” Grillby ordered.

“Yes, sir!” Sans saluted, holding the door open for his brother.

“Goodbye, Father! I shall see you tomorrow! I love you!”

“Love you too, Pap.” Grillby waved and Sans faced his guardian a smile.

“See ya, Grillby.” Sans turned to leave but paused as Grillby called out to him.

“Hey, Sans!” He glanced over his shoulder at the flame who leaned against the counter. “Love you, kiddo.” The skeleton’s smile softened, expression seeming more genuinely content and happy.

“Love you too, Dad.”

“SANS COME ON! I DON’T WANT YOU SLEEPING UNTIL TWILIGHT!” Sans chuckled and shook his head, heading out the door with a final wave. Grillby stepped over to the entrance and watch his two sons walk down the street Sans slouched over while Papyrus marched talking excitedly.

Grillby’s flame flickered, a soft orange color as he recalled the two frightened and sickly children who arrived at his backdoor many years ago. They were barely alive, broken, hurt, and terrified. They couldn’t read, write, and didn’t even know what a shower was, but some would argue Sans still didn’t know what a shower was.

The thought made Grillby chuckle as his children grew smaller as they walked. Though he guessed they weren’t children anymore. Sans no longer clung to him as he once had, no longer fearful of the world. Papyrus had long since gotten rid of his troubled past, seeming undisturbed by anyone not that anyone had the guts to bother him. Not with Undyne and Sans by him all day.

Grillby couldn’t lie, he did miss his small little baby bones. He missed waking up to them in his bed or getting them ready for school. He missed the feeling he always got when Sans got overwhelmed and clung to him showing the flame that he trusted him, a thing that even now was an honor. Grillby would say he missed Papyrus’ running around his house excited and ready to play, but Papyrus was still Papyrus.

His mouth twitched upwards as his boys disappeared from sight. The flame shut the door and locked it, setting Sans’ fry basket in the kitchen to be taken care of tomorrow. Turning off the bar light, Grillby headed into the back area and began pulling off his tie. His paused, glancing over at the back door. The trash had already been taken out giving Grillby no reason to open the door yet he still found himself approaching it. Standing before the door, he reached out and unlocked it twisting the knob. Pulling it open, he stared at the empty alley.

He could recall that night so clearly. Sans standing right before him, panting and dirty. Papyrus unconscious in his arms he asked Grillby for help.

His head dipped down and his flame rose as he spotted a tupperware container. Coaching down he picked it up and looked it over. A note a tapped to the bottom and he carefully peeled it off. Sans handwriting was easily recognizable.

 

P _ap wanted me to drop this by. He forgets to when he came to pick me up. He said it’s his best recipe yet, and to be fair, it is. Hope I was_ _n_ _’t wrong to assume you’d look out here_ _you old, sentimental flame_ _._ _Check the time, old man._

 

Ensuring nothing else was outside, he headed back in and went over to his clock to find it was midnight. Glancing up at his calendar, Grillby's flame curled when he saw when the day it now was.

December 16th.

He looked back down at his note and read on.

 

_Grown up a lot since then, huh? Paps is now a walking giant and I, well,_ _g_ _uess I grew more as a person, huh? Never was_ _the most graceful one when it came to words,_ _always t_ _o_ _o blunt. So let me be blunt. Happy December 16th, the day I ca_ _me_ _to you for help, and the day we became a family. Thanks for everything you’ve done. I couldn’t have asked for a better_ _Dad._ _Thanks for always being there for me._ _There's a lot to be thankful for, but not enough room to say it all so I'll just say one more. Thank you for every single hug, kiss, and smile and thank you in advance for every single one to come._

_Pap also said he loves you and can't wait to see you tomorrow._

_Love,_

_Sans and Papyrus._

 

Grillby smiled down at the paper and turn it over to find, to his surprise, Sans had written his note on the back of a photo. Grillby looked it over not recalling it. Grillby was fast asleep in his armchair, book resting on his stomach. Under his right arm was Papyrus and under his left was Sans both asleep was well. A shadow against the wall told Grillby Bonnie took the photo, her large ears quite distinct.

Grillby led himself back to his bar, smiling at the photo before he stood in front of the large mirror behind his bar. Along the edge Grillby had collected and displayed many photos as the years went on. Birthdays, holidays, or just random moments were all there brightening up his day whenever he was down. Grillby stretched to wedge the photo under the top of the mirror next to Papyrus' twelfth birthday. He looked them all over admiring them all from a photo of Sans asleep of Flint's lap to one of Bonnie, Sulfi, and Fiora all laughing as Papyrus told a funny story.

He let the happy times linger as he closed up and got ready to bed. Laying on his bed, Grillby still got lonely being here by himself. He had gotten so use to the company of Sans and Papyrus and even here he could still picture the small skeletons running around and playing. He sighed heavily, rolling on his side recalling the nights of his children cuddled up next to him basking in not only the heat he radiated externally but the love that warmed them internally as well.

They had grown up too fast for him. Still, Grillby was so proud of the monsters they have become. He was so proud of the obstacles they overcame and still continued to overcome. Nothing tore them down, and even when faced with frightening, intimidating, or impossible challenges neither allowed themselves to be stopped and always pushed on. They were truly admirable and Grillby looked up to them for strength almost every day. If he were to go back he wouldn't change a single thing and instead be thrilled he gets to relive the incredible journey all over again.

Grillby chuckled to himself feeling almost choked up by all the reminiscing. He took in a deep breath and relaxed allowing his eyes to close.

“Goodnight,” He said aloud letting the happy memory wash him away into a blissful and pleasant night of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. The end. God diggity dog. Not gonna lie, cried a little and I'm not ashamed to admit that.
> 
> It's been a wild ride. Thank you all for commenting, subscribing, kudos, everything. You are all so wonderful. I hope to see you in the future.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I'll Go With You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7385287) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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